Sailing_ShipWreck



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya's stepmother dies during Shane's second year in Ottawa. That's when the nightmares start. And in the nightmares, there's something heavy and tight sitting on his chest. Something cold, something he's felt before. In the nightmares, he's thirteen and shivering and willing himself to fall asleep, to teleport one day further away from everything. He’s thirteen and someone’s lips are wet and cold on the shell of his ear. He’s thirteen and he's completely frozen. Someone’s standing over him and he needs to move, needs to get away, needs to hit and kick and scream, but his pants are coming off and he can’t hit her, can’t kick her, and the scream is dead in his throat. His mother raised him to never hit a woman, and so in his nightmares he closes his eyes, grimaces at the light that seeps through anyways, and waits.
    ________________________________________________
    A death brings unwanted memories back. Ilya struggles to remember, then struggles to forget. Shane struggles to get through to Ilya before it's too late.

    Language:
    English
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    19,740
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    600
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    19 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “You look terrible,” Shane says bluntly when he greets Ilya at the stairwell. “Are you hurting?”

    Ilya shrugs. He is hurting, actually. The adrenaline from the win wore off somewhere between his texts with Shane and the medic’s second consult. His face feels swollen and it hurts to speak when he says, “I am not wilting daisy, Hollander. I can handle getting hit at hockey game.”

    “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.”

    A strange pang hits Ilya’s chest then, unassuming and small. Ilya chooses to think nothing of it.

    ////

    Or Ilya Rozanov on pain, love, and family throughout the years.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
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    08 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “I was never going to hit you, Hollander!” Ilya blurted out, eyes shining. “You make fool out of me. And worse…” he took a sharp breath, his hands finding his temple. “And worse is, you hit me.”

    The words hung between them, heavy and ugly.

    Shane’s breath caught in his throat. He wanted so badly to reach for Ilya, cling to him like an anchor.

    “I waited,” Ilya continued, voice shaking now, his control beginning to crack. “I waited for you to stop. I waited for you to look at me like you recognized me. You didn’t.”

    -
    Or the one where Shane fights Ilya on the ice and expects him to fight back.

    Language:
    English
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    5,656
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    1/1
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    07 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya has been watching hands his whole life. His father's hands taught him that touch meant pain. His mother's hands were the only gentle ones—until they went cold. Now he has his father's hands, and he's terrified of what they might become.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,361
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    397
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    4,293
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    1,112
    Hits:
    65,395

    24 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, get loved.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    145,224
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    4,883
    Kudos:
    17,760
    Bookmarks:
    5,755
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    482,744

    20 Feb 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    PURE ART