Samsoe
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Robert rubbed his temples. "Alright, polyamory. But how does that work, exactly?"
Malevola sighed, then leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Alright, dumbass. Basic breakdown. Communication. Honesty. Boundaries."
"But like. I don't get it. You just get to...date and fuck whoever?"
"You're thinking way too black and white, idiot."
Sonar sighed. "That'd be the dream though. Infinite puss."
Malevola ignored him. "It's a lot more complicated than monogamous relationships. It's all about needs, desires, insecurities."
"But people are different. What if it doesn't match up?"
"Then you talk it out. Figure out compromises. Decide if you can meet those needs—or if you aren't compatible."
Robert stared at his phone. His thumb brushed over the background; Visi holding Beef.
"So. Now that we've educated you, what are you gonna do?"
"...I don't know."
---
Or, how the Z-Team became a kitchen table polycule.
Series
- Part 1 of Kitchen Table HR Violation
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,285
- Chapters:
- 29/?
- Comments:
- 965
- Kudos:
- 1,937
- Bookmarks:
- 415
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- 45,805
Bookmarked by Samsoe
08 Feb 2026
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"Just one hint," Malevola pleaded. Prism leaned against her chair, eyeing Robert expectantly.
Robert stared at them briefly, deliberating over his response. He settled on honesty. They wouldn't believe him, and they wouldn't be able to link it to his identity as Mecha Man anyway.
"Sure. I can't die."
Prism sighed in frustration. "Oh come on! Don't be like that."
_______________________________________Robert Robertson III was eight when he realized he had a super power. It was also the first time he died.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,170
- Chapters:
- 18/24
- Comments:
- 2,204
- Kudos:
- 8,154
- Bookmarks:
- 1,828
- Hits:
- 156,953
Bookmarked by Samsoe
04 Feb 2026
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“If you’re not interested, you can just say that. I probably came on too strong with the whole… ‘fucking you until you cry’ speech.”
“You also called me an annoying bitch. Real mixed signals. I don’t know what to think.”
“You’re hilarious. How about we start with the home cooked meal and see where that goes? Come over tomorrow. I’m an excellent cook.”
“And humble, too.”
“Fuck you, Robert.”
“Not on the first date.”
“I think I changed my mind. You’re too annoying.” There was a pause. “No but really, come over tomorrow.”
aka Flambae and Robert get drunk and hook up. Robert definitely doesn't regret anything and the team is very normal about it. Surprisingly, that's not where it ends.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,045
- Chapters:
- 14/?
- Comments:
- 708
- Kudos:
- 5,841
- Bookmarks:
- 941
- Hits:
- 98,304
Bookmarked by Samsoe
27 Nov 2025
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After their drunken hookup, Robert thought they’d avoid ever mentioning it, leave it lost in the awkward silences it would inevitably bring. What he couldn’t have anticipated was Waterboy taking to him like a duck to water.
In which Robert commits several HR violations and Waterboy learns to ask for what he wants.
Series
- Part 2 of Sink or Swim
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,754
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 339
- Kudos:
- 2,953
- Bookmarks:
- 226
- Hits:
- 25,114
Bookmarked by Samsoe
23 Nov 2025
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Summary
A place for my "Dispatch" art. Robert is entirely too shippable with all characters in this game.
More tags to be added with additional art.
Bookmarked by Samsoe
22 Nov 2025