StarlightOctopus
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Summary
A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:
The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.
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(01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-
Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.
Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-
Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.
Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.
Series
- Part 1 of IRIS Logs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,825
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 674
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- 6,942
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- 46,763
Bookmarked by StarlightOctopus
10 May 2026
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When Hermione is forced to spend a weekend at the Bulstrodes’ country estate glad-handing for the Ministry, she finds an unlikely ally in the only other house guest who hadn’t fled the country when the war broke out: Draco Malfoy.
"You feel it, don’t you?”
His fingernails dug into her wrist.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She had the tip of her wand pressed into his jugular. His teeth flashed white.
“The war,” he said, not letting go, apparently unbothered by her ability to end his life with a tiny severing charm. “It’s not real to them.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,618
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 54
- Kudos:
- 164
- Bookmarks:
- 46
- Hits:
- 2,474
Bookmarked by StarlightOctopus
30 Apr 2026
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Third Wheel by Unpretty
Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
05 Nov 2016
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Summary
It isn't quite a love triangle. For one thing, Clark's the only one romantic enough to even think the word 'love'. For another, Clark and Bruce would be beating the holy hell out of each other even without Lois' involvement. And if Lois was aware of the secrets they were keeping, she'd be beating the holy hell out of the both of them. Overall, Bruce's visit to Metropolis has been a mixed bag for everyone involved.
Series
- Part 10 of Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts
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Summary
I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).
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The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,099
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 810
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- 23,985
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Bookmarked by StarlightOctopus
08 Aug 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
Send to all - the batfam sex pollen release form fic
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Summary
As a state-of-the-art B-class wormhole-capable deep-space research vessel, I do not consider myself to have many serious design flaws. Every piece of me has been meticulously crafted, is regularly maintained and upgraded, and there is very little I cannot do if I set my several dozen exabytes of processing power upon the task. This is why the Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland’s extra-curricular oversight committee deemed me more than capable of operating unmanned on the occasional intelligence-gathering reconnaissance mission. It is for the sake of both necessity and convenience that these missions are camouflaged as cargo runs.
Nonetheless, it is an unmistakable oversight that I am capable of being bored. It is also incredibly annoying that unmanned cargo runs are so dull.
OR
The entirety of Artificial Condition, from ART's POV.
Series
- Part 1 of Perihelion Mission Logs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,574
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 471
- Kudos:
- 1,109
- Bookmarks:
- 229
- Hits:
- 13,208
Bookmarked by StarlightOctopus
27 Feb 2026