TheDevilKnowsMyName
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Recent works
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I Owe You A Black Eye and Two Kisses by TheDevilKnowsMyName
Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Lonnie’s out. Won’t be back for another hour or so. Looks like you’re stuck with me unless you wanna wait,” the mechanic, Billy, if the stained patch in red cursive embroidering attached to his shirt was to be believed, answered. Steve couldn’t place his tone, the thing sounding light and amiable, but there was something underneath it.
“Ah. Ok. Well, might as well,” Steve so eloquently decided. He internally winced at his own floundering.
With a chuckle that was in a deeper register than his talking voice, Billy pushed off of where he was leaning. He set off to do as tasked, leaving Steve standing awkwardly in his spot.
“Don’t you worry, sweetheart, I’m gonna take good care of ya,” Billy promised with a smile that felt more devious than friendly. Steve felt his body jolt in response, hearing the double entendre as Billy chuckled again.
Or: Steve gets his oil changed and gets his world rocked in the same afternoon
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I'd Burn the World (to bring some heat to you) by TheDevilKnowsMyName
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
26 Nov 2025
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“The boy has bewitched you, Arthur. Lord only knows for how long,” Uther decreed. Saying so aloud made it true. That was how Camelot worked.
“His name is Merlin!” Arthur roared, his feet spurring him closer to the king without his mind’s consent. “If you are planning on executing him, at least have the guts to speak his name!”
Or: Uther executes a sorcerer and Arthur loses his mind
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“Get bored of the bureaucracy up there, Angel?” Crowley bit with much more venom than was necessary, but he’d always been one to hold a grudge. It was part of what lumped him in with his old lot downstairs.
When Aziraphale went to speak, Crowley cut him off instantly.
“Don’t you dare try that recruitment shit on me. Heaven made it clear that I had ideas way above my station long ago. You’ve got some real nerve to try that on me again after-” his throat went dry at the memory, Crowley taking a lengthy sip of his whiskey he was brooding over in the pub near his new apartment.
“Ah, yes, well. I’m sorry for whatever I did-”
“You should be,” the demon hissed.
“-but… Who… are you…?”
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The Lyricist by TheDevilKnowsMyName
Fandoms: Watcher Entertainment RPF, Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
10 Apr 2022
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Summary
“Son of a bitch,” he cursed. “Fucking hell, we really do have another serial killer.”
“I think that takes three bodies for it to be considered a serial killer case,” Bergara bickered, not bothering to look at Shane.
“Call it a gut feeling, but no one else but a serial killer would bind and gag someone while they carve fucking words into a person’s skin, Bergara.”
Or: Shane and Ryan are partnered up to find a new serial killer on the loose.
ON HIATUS
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Holy Water Gonna Make Us Drown by TheDevilKnowsMyName
Fandoms: Watcher Entertainment RPF, Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
10 Apr 2022
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Summary
“You keep on scowlin’ like that, Madej, and you’ll look damn near fifty by the time yer thirty-five,” Sheriff McClintock jeered, leaning back in his chair with his feet up on the desk in front of him. His large moustache was wrapped around a tobacco pipe, puffing out smoke while examining his deputy.
“I’ll stop scowling when we actually do our jobs, Banjo,” he snapped, gritting his teeth behind the clenched fist he pressed against his mouth. He was rapping his fingers on the desk that the sheriff was resting his feet on.
“God, not this again,” McClintock groaned whilst throwing his head back. “How many goddamn times d’ I have t’ say it before it gets inta that giant head a’ yers? This is our job now!”
ON HIATUS
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
In Which Billy Is A Bonafide Member Of The Scoops Troop.
Ihni prompted: "What if Billy had been the one with Steve when they were captured by the Russians?" and I did something which looks a little bit like that when viewed through a very long lens.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,225
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 421
- Kudos:
- 5,376
- Bookmarks:
- 1,186
- Hits:
- 61,973
Bookmarked by TheDevilKnowsMyName
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
Move on. Let it heal.
Maybe that’s why Steve said yes when Max asked him to help move boxes out of Billy’s room after the dust settled. He could hear her voice. Too many. Too heavy.
Just like his wounds. His grief. Too many. Too heavy.
(Or, Steve steals the glass ashtray from Billy's bedside table and things start to go bump in the night.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,919
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 560
- Kudos:
- 2,389
- Bookmarks:
- 705
- Hits:
- 32,031
Bookmarked by TheDevilKnowsMyName
16 Jan 2026
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Summary
Everyone has their limits.
Max has just finally hit hers.
She's done with hiding behind closed doors listening to her step-father Neil hurt her brother, his own flesh and blood son, beyond reason and without remorse. She's done watching her own mother cower in ignorance behind a mask of indifference. She's done hiding in the dark while Billy takes the abuse to try and save her from the heartless man who dared call himself their father.
Of all the monsters lurking in Hawkins, who would have guessed the worst of them all was living in Max's own home?
Bookmarked by TheDevilKnowsMyName
14 Jan 2026
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Summary
The bad news is that one of Lassiter's highest profile arrests has just escaped from prison. The worse news is that his best hope of tracking him down is a sleep-deprived Shawn Spencer.
Series
- Part 1 of The Dah-Ling Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,049
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 161
- Kudos:
- 3,369
- Bookmarks:
- 752
- Hits:
- 57,896
Bookmarked by TheDevilKnowsMyName
13 Jan 2026
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Thou art insufferable, my dear (But given the choice, I'd still be here) by GonEwiththeWolveS
Fandoms: Merlin (TV)
10 Sep 2022
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Summary
Midsummer approaches and Arthur needs a queen.
Merlin would like to, once again, point out that he -- and he cannot stress this enough -- is not, in fact, a girl.
...No one seems to care.Also known as the one where Arthur eats his crown.
Series
- Part 2 of The one with the drabbles
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,524
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 2,211
- Bookmarks:
- 333
- Hits:
- 22,892
Bookmarked by TheDevilKnowsMyName
30 Dec 2025