UnemployedHypocrite
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After being abandoned by both Tav and the sunlight, Astarion makes a poorly thought out wish to Djinni and finds himself in the body of a toddler. Even though he’s (mostly) mentally sound, his new situation forces him to rely on his former traveling companions until he can find a way back to his old self. That is, assuming it’s even possible.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,074
- Chapters:
- 35/35
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- 1
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Bookmarked by UnemployedHypocrite
27 Nov 2024
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Astarion thought this stupid hot sauce show would last a season or two before it was cancelled. Ten years later, he’s still Cazador’s sidekick, taking potshots for laughs and enduring worse abuse when the cameras stop rolling.
An upcoming guest—famed magician Gale Dekarios—has never seen an episode of Hot Mess, and he’s about to shake things up.
Series
- Part 1 of Sauce
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,065
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 2,350
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- 1,324
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Bookmarked by UnemployedHypocrite
27 Jul 2024
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“There are better ways to go about this if I wish to speak to someone anonymously,” Gale points out. Shadowheart shrugs, winking at him.
“Sure, but this is possibly the most satisfying one,” she says, and fine, Gale can’t argue with that. But still. Such conversations are surface level at best, and transactional at worst. Besides, it’s not in his nature to consume live internet pornography. He has no desire to share such an intimate act with a complete stranger.
“I would really rather see a therapist,” he says.
Fresh out of a messy divorce, disgraced academic Gale Dekarios finds himself biting off more than he can chew when a seemingly innocuous encounter with an enigmatic camboy, Star, leads him down a precarious path of lies, liberation and eventually—love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 336,511
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 3,026
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- 2,465
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- 460
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- 86,726
Bookmarked by UnemployedHypocrite
26 Jul 2024
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He’s almost looking forward to either falling from the top of the Netherbrain into the River Chionthar, or watching it fall from a safe distance. It’ll be over, then! It’ll be done. He can go hide in the dark, forget this ever happened twice. Astarion can forget Tav. He can move on. Learn to love the dark again, or something.
Astarion wakes up in a pod on the Nautiloid.
(COMPLETE! <3)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,876
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 2,115
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- 3,047
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- 847
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- 56,558
Bookmarked by UnemployedHypocrite
11 Jun 2024
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When he wakes, he is on a beach, gold, looking up at the sun.
Ah, he thinks, distant. I'm dreaming.
Astarion is never quite sure, until the moment Cazador lies dead before him, whether this entire adventure is anything more than an extremely vivid hallucination.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,119
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 120
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- 906
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- 314
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- 8,400
Bookmarked by UnemployedHypocrite
08 Jun 2024