1 - 20 of 25 Bookmarks by WormMerchant
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In which Eddie finds himself unprepared for the realities of Klyntar sexuality, and Venom considers the potential merits of Viagra.
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After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer.
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When Edmund Blackadder, bloodied from shrapnel and ears ringing from the shelling, stumbled over Captain Darling's body caught in a tangle of barbed wire, he did not, despite many assurances towards it over the years, laugh, clap, and dance.
Instead, Blackadder took in the dark-wet definitely-not-mud stain spread all over Darling's uniformed chest, the pistol lax in his grip, his unseeing eyes turned up towards the overcast sky, and said, "oh, bloody buggering hell.""Quite," agreed Darling, squinting down at his own corpse; and, despite the unfortunate circumstances, took great pleasure in hearing Blackadder scream like a little girl.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,914
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 75
- Kudos:
- 90
- Bookmarks:
- 30
- Hits:
- 1,858
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
01 Nov 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
Genuinely cried. Excellent
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Blackadder's latest plan to escape back to England causes him to take an interest in the contents of Darling's drawers.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,473
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 236
- Bookmarks:
- 26
- Hits:
- 2,223
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
01 Nov 2025
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
Does not fit the collection title but who gives a shit. Probably the best blackadder fic to ever blackadder
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Waste Not by gunstreet for CampySpaceSlime
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
22 Sep 2025
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McCoy has gotten to know Spock pretty well over their years of service together. But whenever he starts feeling comfortable, the universe likes to force him to learn something new about Vulcans.
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“Do you understand what it is, precisely, that you’re offering?”
Bond smirked, eyes narrow with humor. “A nightcap,” he supplied, and then added wryly, “after a fashion.”
Q snorted, eyes sparkling, but there was a dark edge of menace under his light tone as he warned, “If you’re expecting it to be all fun and games, I’m afraid you’ve been watching far too much biter porn. Do you know how long it takes to bleed out from an unattended wound to the jugular vein?”
Bond opened his mouth to provide an appropriately pithy response referencing the mandatory training in basic field medicine he’d undergone during his tenure with the Royal Navy, but Q cut him off.
“Five minutes,” he supplied, brisk but casual, like he was reprimanding a tiresome junior agent in the middle of any standard agency debriefing, “at an optimistic maximum. Sever the carotid, and you’re looking at potential seconds. Even werewolves don’t heal fast enough to repair that kind of damage.”
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Tasha didn’t think she’d ever get to have this. Although, to be fair, before this she hadn’t thought much about sex at all, besides a vague notion that sex was something that she probably shouldn’t have. But Data had seen her, black sludge and bleeding eyes and all. And he liked her anyway.
Series
- Part 2 of The Children of Turkana
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gift of life by Anonymous
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
03 Dec 2022
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“She screamed in ecstasy as her destiny was fulfilled, and the crowd rejoiced, for they knew it meant they were safe.”
“I assume they don’t mean spiritual ecstasy,” Obi-Wan grumbled from his seat. He, too, was keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead, avoiding Anakin’s eyes.
“No, I don’t imagine they do,” Madame Jocasta said dryly.
Anakin felt like he was missing a very important detail that would explain why the Council was gravely listening to an old lady reading ancient erotica.Anakin is forced to face his destiny when an ancient entity threatens to destroy the world. That destiny involves getting fucked by the entire Jedi order.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,924
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 52
- Kudos:
- 572
- Bookmarks:
- 85
- Hits:
- 16,560
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
10 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
gurl wait until the end
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Aliens made them do it, but they also kinda wanted to by Twelfthtimesthecharm
Fandoms: Doctor Who (2005)
21 Dec 2022
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‘We'll be fine’ were always famous last words when it came to The Doctor. but even she hadn’t expected this. Not in a million years. The way they say it is almost casual, like asking someone for a favour. As horrified as she is as she soon comes to realise their intention, Clara does laugh slightly at the timelord’s fumbling. At that moment, this ancient, powerful alien reminds her of a flustered schoolboy.
Or
Clara and the doctor hope for a casual day at an alien market and things go exactly as well as you’d expect
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
06 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
aliens made them do it
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In light of recent events... by iiscos
Fandoms: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
10 Apr 2020
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After nearly a year of rehabilitation, Graves returns to MACUSA, adamant on restoring his rightful position as Director of Magical Security and proving to his detractors that he is still the best man for the job. His newly-found, ungovernable ability to read minds is a distraction at best, especially when someone, somewhere is thinking wildly, inappropriate thoughts about him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,659
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 82
- Kudos:
- 1,155
- Bookmarks:
- 184
- Hits:
- 12,496
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
09 May 2025
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
love me some mind reading
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Maria vs The Jedi Cult by IzzyMRDB
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
16 Jul 2024
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Reborn just in time to join the rest of the younglings in asking Master Skywalker what they were going to do because there were too many of them.
Oh well, she had future knowledge, a tendency to be overlooked and forgotten about by the Creche Master, and the reckless abandonment of someone who knows when they die.AKA
Maria, a fan from our world, wakes up in GFFA and decides that she isn't here for a long time, but a good time. She's not here for the whole cult thing of the Jedi, but she will annoy the Sith whenever she can. Though if the Coruscant Guard could be a bit less good at spotting the unaccompanied Jedi child wandering the Senate, that would be appreciated.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,354
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 81
- Comments:
- 3,083
- Kudos:
- 14,002
- Bookmarks:
- 5,068
- Hits:
- 320,156
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
19 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
I love when the Self insert is actively prevented from helping
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Summary
"Her name is...Hermione," Lucius pronounces the name very carefully, watching Voldemort as if for some reaction. He has none to offer. "She's in my son's year. And she claims to be your daughter."
Crack!AU where Lord Voldemort thinks Hermione Granger is his daughter.
Series
- Part 2 of and several bad jokes later
- Part 2 of all plates are cracked by mr nobody
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,757
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 760
- Kudos:
- 12,718
- Bookmarks:
- 3,444
- Hits:
- 141,232
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
12 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
slytherin Hermione that isn't chronic self insertion. also aroace swag
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In the name of love! by iiscos
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
15 Aug 2016
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Summary
The cruiser carrying Ventress has crashed among the densest canopies of the Felucian jungle, and no aphrodisiacal flower is going to deter Anakin and Obi-Wan in their pursuit of the Sith apprentice.
Or the one where Obi-Wan falls into a toxic flowerbed resulting in unforeseen consequences, and Anakin frustratingly is the only one immune.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,890
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 182
- Kudos:
- 2,806
- Bookmarks:
- 364
- Hits:
- 33,077
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
26 Oct 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
sorta reverse pollen.. good 4 gay poeple i wish they were real
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Endeavor you need to leave or I'm going to... by FlameTiddies
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
19 Nov 2018
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Summary
"You have to leave, right now. I can't explain till the end of the weekend at least, but you have to go," Hawks voice was edging a bit on panicked as he tried to shoo Endeavor towards the door.
An annoyed scoff escaped Enji's mouth. He folded his arms, looking uncharacteristically paternal- and that really shouldn’t do it even more for Hawks but gods it does.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,721
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 113
- Kudos:
- 3,617
- Bookmarks:
- 500
- Hits:
- 43,466
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
26 Oct 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
wasnt expecting the dynamic to slay so hard good 4 them.
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Summary
Ed is picking up the pieces. Literally.
Series
- Part 1 of Invasive
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
16 Sep 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
very very creative introduction to sex pollen
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Summary
Alpha!Greg has to figure out what exactly it is he wants after having a very strong reaction to an incident on Taskmaster.
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In Extremis by orphan_account
Fandoms: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who, Doctor Who and related fandoms
22 Dec 2018
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Summary
This is the one aspect of Gallifreyan biology the Doctor doesn’t tell his companions about, and the last thing he thought he would have to deal with when he became the last of the Time Lords.
Until he discovered he wasn't actually the last...
(A/B/O, on-board the Valiant)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,849
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 600
- Bookmarks:
- 54
- Hits:
- 10,817
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
24 Mar 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
who doesn't go mental for innovative A.b.o
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in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny by jamesevanwilson (suhossineun)
Fandoms: House M.D.
02 Nov 2023
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Summary
Wilson just needs someone to take care of while he recovers from yet another divorce. That's all this is.
At least, that's what House thinks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,263
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 188
- Kudos:
- 3,236
- Bookmarks:
- 458
- Hits:
- 40,577
Bookmarked by WormMerchant
04 Jan 2024
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
Who up reading the best a/b/o fic thats ever been written
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Hair by honeyandsunshine
Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
21 Apr 2020
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Summary
“It is a connection to family.” She says at some point. “The sight of a Vulcan woman’s hair unconstrained is reserved for mates and familiar relatives only. With the slight constant mental connection between all Vulcans, this is one way of maintaining privacy.”
Kirk smiles lightly. “I bet it must feel nice then, going to visit your family. You get to put your hair down, relax a bit.”
“Vulcans do not feel anything, Captain.” Spock replies.
He is wrong in other ways. She does not correct them.
OR:
Spock has spent her entire life with a physical reminder that she will never be accepted. The Enterprise changes some things.
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He was given to understand that for most alphas and omegas, an arrangement of scent cards like what was laid out across the room was just as mouth-watering as stepping up to a decadent buffet, except the hungry rumblings were centered more pelvically. To Crowley, though, it was more like walking into a poorly ventilated spice shop or passing the perfume counter in a department store. The strongest physical reaction he was feeling right now was the urge to sneeze.
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Crowley's a sex-indifferent/favorable asexual omega fresh off suppressants and in the market for someone to help him through what promises to be a trial of a heat. His friend gets him tickets to the Spring Fling Heat Date Auction, where he can win a date with an eligible alpha (or omega). Naturally, a certain alpha with a regrettably memorable stage magic show and intriguing scent catches his eye...