constipatedmuse
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
Reader gets a migraine at work. Robby helps the reader, and when she's feeling better, Robby *helps* the reader.
(Reader is described as having curly hair long enough to play with. If your hair is straight, feel free to imagine you curled it, but I'm tired of reader-inserts running fingers through their hair. That's just not possible for some of us.)
-
Tags
Summary
Brainy recently joined the DEO. You take out some anger on a White Martian, and Brainy is impressed and a little terrified.
I marked it teen because there is a suicide mention. It's a childhood friend, and it's literally just mentioned that that's how he died. There's nothing gory or detailed, but it's totally cool if you wanna skip. I'm just working through my own issues here.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,701
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 14
- Hits:
- 168
-
Tags
Summary
this is a quick blurb i wrote and have no idea what to do with.
Series
- Part 4 of I am the Rimmer simp
-
Klaus Can't Be Tortured Because You Tortured Him as a Kid, Veggie by constipatedmuse
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
07 Apr 2021
Tags
Summary
Christopher tries to torture the Umbrellas, but it turns out Klaus is un-tortureable because of the crap Veggie put him through as a kid. Klaus then throws a monkey wrench into Veggie's "new and improved" team.
-
Tags
Summary
I didn't plan to make this pro-Ace. I actually rewrote it a couple of times, trying to make him the bad guy, but the parallels to Backwards (the novel) kept popping up, so I said "smeg it" and steered into the curve.
Series
- Part 3 of I am the Rimmer simp
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,148
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 39
- Hits:
- 610
Recent series
-
Summary
a bunch of unrelated simpings. I'm sure I'll keep adding to it.
- Words:
- 13,365
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 1
-
how many morons does it take to stop the apocalypse? by constipatedmuse
Fandom The Umbrella Academy (TV)
15 Sep 2020
Summary
Reader is a Commission agent.
- Words:
- 2,507
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
-
This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
Tags
Summary
Summary: You are in the midst of formulating your dissertation, but you’ve hit a wall. Your doting aunt, Rebecca, has a solution that brings you face to face with Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King. As the connection between you and Ahkmenrah grows, and as the secrets of his ancient tablet unlock, the once-king will find himself faced with a difficult choice.
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by constipatedmuse
05 Oct 2025
-
This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
Tags
Summary
8. Ice cubes & 16. Orgasm denial/edging
You’re not gonna believe which Ramigo I’m using for this request 🙃
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by constipatedmuse
12 Sep 2025
-
This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
Tags
Summary
Heyyy, would you be able to write something like reader talking to her friends about Isaac Night, everyone knows him as a zombie and don't know he looks human now and he's just walking by them and overhears their conversation, specifically when reader says something along the lines of "he could eat me next" maybe during the masquerade (he just looks too good in that scene) and she's just biting her finger and thinking about zombie Isaac Night but surprise surprise he's a hot crazy scientist
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by constipatedmuse
12 Sep 2025
-
coin-operated boy by Anonymous
Fandoms: Wednesday (TV 2022), Addams Family - All Media Types
10 Sep 2025
Tags
Summary
"You can touch it," he offers, and there's a shrewd glint in his eyes that evinces that he can tell that you already want to.
Series
- Part 3 of wednesday fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,006
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 33
- Kudos:
- 252
- Bookmarks:
- 24
- Hits:
- 4,305
Bookmarked by constipatedmuse
11 Sep 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Set during Croak 3x7. Desperate for rescue, you pray to the Wilderness to let you find Kodiak first. The Wilderness decides to take an interest.
---------
Kodiak appears suddenly and silently, like a vision. You stop mid-spin, staggered by your own momentum, a wordless song dying in your throat. He’s limned in firelight, the one bright thing in the darkness, as though he’s the only thing that’s real. Your world sharpens to a pinpoint. He’s here for you: the answer to your prayer.
Bookmarked by constipatedmuse
02 Aug 2025