dangerbadger
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Stede draws his attention back to the head massage, alternating pressure from the kind of bruising that’s enough to knead a migraine away, to gentle, delicate strokes through his hair. He grows almost meditative with it, forcing his eyes away from Ed’s face and simply enjoying the feeling of body heat and cool, damp-silk hair against his palms. Truthfully, he could do this for hours, rather than the usual three-to-five minutes that’s usually afforded to customers when they…
When…
It’s been longer than three-to-five minutes.
A quick glance at the clock reveals it’s been far, far longer than three-to-five minutes.
Stede doesn’t mind, obviously. And Ed doesn’t seem to be about to question it. But the snide little Lucius-like voice in the back of his mind points out that almost twenty fucking minutes is maybe a bit of an overkill.
Stede yanks his hands away from Ed’s hair like it’s covered in bleach.
“Okey-doke!” Stede manages, voice shrill and a little strangled.
From across the salon, the real Lucius snorts.
(OR: Stede's a hair stylist. Ed shows up for an appointment. And shows up. And shows up. And shows up...)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 106,256
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 2,166
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- 1,162
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Bookmarked by dangerbadger
27 Dec 2025
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Ed still isn't used to being vulnerable. But Stede's praise unlocks a part of him he didn't know he had.
And fuck, it feels good.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,726
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 246
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- 6,084
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- 48,130
Bookmarked by dangerbadger
23 Jul 2025
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Summary
Stede Bonnet became a pirate because he was looking for purpose, and he's found it: in the devotion of his life to making Edward Teach happy.
Which very much includes finding new ways to pleasure him.
AKA: Stede asks to eat Ed's ass for the first time.
Bookmarked by dangerbadger
13 Jul 2025
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Key, Horne & Watson Florist by MadameQuagmire
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
01 Feb 2022
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Summary
Three idiots run a well-loved neighborhood flower shop. They've managed to refrain from killing each other for years, until Tim starts writing poems for one of their regular customers.
Series
- Part 1 of Taskmarkets Trilogy
Bookmarked by dangerbadger
21 Jun 2025
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Summary
Adopting a secret cat in a no-pets-allowed apartment building is one thing. Kissing the new property manager after he discovers your secret cat is another.
Learning the property manager thought he was straight until you kissed him and accidentally sent him into a tailspin—well, it's a weird twenty-four hours for Ed Teach.
So: friends. Friends, he can do. Friends, that's easy. Except there are mochas, and there are movies, and there's this whole queer discovery he's helping Stede navigate, and there are a hell of a lot of chocolate muffins.
Sometimes the journey is the most important part.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 272,637
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 2,050
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- 1,072
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- 171
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Bookmarked by dangerbadger
06 Jun 2025