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why am i soft in the middle? (the rest of my life is so hard) by haredjarris
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
28 Jul 2026
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Alex Horne has never been what you’d call vanilla. He’s explored almost every kink under the sun, taken precise mental notes, and then stored his findings carefully, somewhere between his heart and his dick.
Alex has long-since embraced his identity as just some kinda weird, kinda kinky guy with a lot of love to give. After realising he's gained some weight and likes it, Alex wants to show off and get Greg to comment on his body, in whatever way Greg sees fit, so he brings it up on the Taskmaster set. This is... a mistake.
This train is to: healing Greg Davies’ shitty body image. Calling at: Alex Horne’s chubby belly, Alex Horne’s kinky mind, Alex Horne’s switchy swinging sensibilities, and the realisation that you caught feelings about ten years ago.
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to wish impossible things by discoblues
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
27 Jul 2026
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When Greg sees an incoming call from Tim Key, of all people, pop up on his phone one night, to say that he’s shocked would be an understatement.
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Keeping Time by Kim_Tey
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, British Comedy RPF
20 Jul 2026
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Tim Key: journeyman poet and victim of questionable wanking, if only for medical purposes.
Tim's just trying to get the job done, but naturally Alex can't help but call at the worst possible time. It's enough to send the wandering poet off on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but it seems he's not the only one looking to revisit the past.
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Lost in the Supermarket by exboyscout
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF
15 Jul 2026
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“It’s retail, mate. I’m not expecting perfection from some twenty-something dairy stocker. I know it’s not your passion—hell, it’s not mine either. It’s nobody’s, really, is it? You’d have to be properly mad, maybe even a bit masochistic, to actually enjoy it.”
Alex swallows, because he sometimes worries that he could very well be both of those things.
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格雷格戴维斯的牙齿和艾利克斯霍恩的外星人。
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Better with three by LAH2025
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, The Horne Section Television Programme RPF
03 Jul 2026
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In a world where everyone is searching for their soulmate; Alex, Greg and Lily become a force of all that is good in the world of love - but not without their trials and tribulations of three different people trying to navigate this crazy thing called life.
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Eventually when it seemed like he had gained at least some control over his emotions, Greg answered, “of course I’m not fucking straight, are you blind?”
“Oh…” Alex replied.
“We’ve kissed, Alex, more than once, and not just on the show. We’ve shared a bed. I woke up one morning with you half on top of me. What did you think was happening all those times?”
Alex’s eyes were huge and getting larger by the second. “I thought you were just being friendly… I…” Alex’s voice tailed off in the face of Greg’s increasing ire.
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"So, what, I'm supposed to drive to Cambridge and knock on his office door and– what?"
Rhod shrugged. "And punch him in his smug face, if you like," he said. "Or maybe just have a chat. Up to you, really."
Just like that. As if it was the easiest thing in the world.
Series
- Part 143 of Taskmaster Collection
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Greg thinks he's not sexually attracted to Alex but is he lying to himself?
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Sweet Young Prince by Anonymous for stillproperverse
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
25 May 2026
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Bambi AU.
Greg laughed again. “I know who you are, young prince,” he said, and for some reason, the title sounded more like a teasing insult from his mouth. “Little Alex no Horns, as it were.”
Before he could stop himself, Alex let out a hum of disapproval. “Antlers,” he corrected, and Greg blinked at him.
“Pardon?”
“It’d be Little Alex no Antlers, surely.”
Series
- Part 142 of Taskmaster Collection
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A fic written in a style adjacent to the book "He used Thought as a Wife" by Tim Key.
In which Key falls head over heels for the Amazon Guy. Featuring Poems and a Recipe.First Poem is by Tim Key, the rest are my fault.
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you're a good friend by hornestoothgap (neuerswaist)
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
24 Apr 2026
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It's quite odd to know something deep down in the marrow of his bones, and yet when it's suddenly a reality, it's gone. He still thinks something good slipped through his fingers, not just all at once but also equally over the course of decades.
Years of misunderstandings from both sides mar his past and make it impossible to look back without questioning every single second shared between him and Tim.
OR: Alex finds out that everyone, and Tim, thinks they are dating.
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Many years later, as Greg whispered, “There’s a part of me wants to fuck you,” Alex laughed so hard he could hardly recall that night on the same stage—Greg’s affectionate smile, seductive enough to make him lean in and kiss the bigger man sitting next to him.
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Alex unexpectedly goes to Greg's flat and kisses him out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason.
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22 year old Alex Horne returns to his home town as a student teacher having gone through some changes in the intervening years.
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Only Cans by Ohdoyoucomeonthen
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, SCP Foundation, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
24 Jan 2026
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As Head Researcher at SCP Foundation Site-322, Dr. Alex Horne has dedicated his life to studying bizarre and dangerous anomalies beyond the comprehension of the average person. So what is it about a strange new vending machine in the cafeteria that manages to finally flap the unflappable doctor?
Series
- Part 1 of Keter Class Tasks
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“I can’t give you what you need, Alex.”
The words rang hours after she left. The house barely touched, Alex barely present. Mostly he sat on the sofa staring at his hands or lying down and staring at the wall. He wished, so painfully wished, he had never said anything.
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The Mistletoe Incident by teatimeready
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Actor RPF, British Comedy RPF
30 Dec 2025
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"I can practically hear you thinking," Greg murmurs after a while. "Everything okay?"
Y/n turns on her side to face him, though in the dimness she can only make out the outline of his profile. "Just... processing today, I guess."
"Ah," Greg says. "You mean the mistletoe incident?"*Chapter two now added!*
Series
- Part 14 of Taskmaster Short Stories
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When You Are Old and Grey and Full of Sleep by Vamillepudding for neuerswaist
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
27 Dec 2025
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“Shush. Shut up. I’m trying to be nice.”
Tim makes a face. “Don’t be.”
Alex doesn’t smile then, because that’s not who he is, but Tim can see that he wants to, because that’s who Tim is. “Alright,” he says. “I won’t, then.”
“Good,” Tim says, and before he can tack any joke onto that, Alex leans down and kisses him.
Or: The thing is, Tim knows for a fact that Alex has other places he could get it. So why does he keep coming back to Tim?
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Have you ever seen a race like THIS?! by squidnonomink_ena
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, British Comedy RPF, ウマ娘 プリティーダービー | Uma Musume: Pretty Derby (Anime), ウマ娘 プリティーダービー | Uma Musume: Pretty Derby (Video Game)
24 Dec 2025
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Alex Horne, an aspiring horse-kin attending the prestigious Lantra Academy, has an unfortunate encounter with a man named Greg Davies as he's running late to school. Somehow, this interaction unfurled a future neither of them expected.