hermeticism
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“Where are you? Is everything okay? Max said you left Lucas’s house, like, two hours ago. I thought you were coming over,” Mike twirls the phone cord around his finger as he speaks, hoping he doesn’t sound too clingy. Will doesn’t like when he’s clingy. He hears a heavy sigh over the line. It makes his heart pound uncomfortably hard in his chest.
“Yeah, everything’s fine, Mike. I just- um- something just came up. Can you pick me up? I don’t feel like biking home.”
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, okay, of course. Where are you?”
“Um-"
The audio gets muffled all of a sudden, like Will put his hand over the receiver. Probably to talk to someone else. To talk to whatever stupid fucking asshole he’s with right now. Mike resists the urge to slam his head into the wall until he fucking dies.
Mike Possessive Wheeler is already struggling to cope with being Will's totally casual fuckbuddy... then Will says Chance is better at sex than him, and he loses the ability to play it cool. Or, yearning loser Mike gets pushed too far and puts Will in his place.
Series
- Part 2 of The Payoff of Being Pathetic
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“I don’t… I’ve never done this before,” Mike’s voice wavers as he speaks, a testament to how vulnerable he feels. On his knees, Will’s hard cock held in his hand, waiting to be serviced. It’s a stupid thing to say, and he cringes at himself right after the words leave his mouth. Obviously Will knows he hasn’t sucked a dick before. Obviously Will knows he’s a total fucking virgin, and has no earthly idea what he’s doing.
“Yeah, no shit,” Will laughs, and is incredibly amused when Mike looks down all shy and embarrassed. Amused, but also affectionate in an all too familiar way. He cups Mike’s burning face with one hand, his touch tender as he lets his thumb graze over his cheekbone. “Do you want to stop?”
“No. No, I want to,” Mike says without hesitation, leaning into Will’s hand like a touch starved puppy, “I just- I-I don’t know how. I want to do it right. I wanna be good for you.”
“If you really want to be good for me, you’ll stop talking and put my dick in your mouth.”
A jealousy fueled confrontation ends with Mike on his knees at Will’s feet. Or, Mike is a pathetic, desperate, yearning loser and Will walks him like a dog.
Series
- Part 1 of The Payoff of Being Pathetic
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It’s a miracle Eddie even has sex with him in the first place, it would be unfair of him to start demanding more. He doesn’t need more. Really, he doesn’t! Richie is completely fine with the whole friends-with-benefits thing they’ve got going on. He’s more than fine with it! He loves it! It’s great! Life has never been better!
At least, that’s what he’s been telling himself these past few months.
But now, he’s standing in a room full of drunk college students, red solo cup scrunched in his fist, pop rock blasting loudly in his ears, and every muscle in his entire body is locked up, frozen in dread - because Eddie is talking to a girl. More specifically, a girl is talking to Eddie. And she has her hand on his arm. And she’s hot. And he’s looking at her tits.
Richie sees Eddie, his roommate/ bestfriend/ fuckbuddy, getting hit on and fails to react appropriately. Epically. Fails.
Series
- Part 3 of The Intricacies of Masturbation
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It’s just scary, giving up control like that. Letting someone put themself inside you. Even if that someone is your best friend in the whole world. So, logically, Eddie has decided he wants to fuck Richie first.
He figures if he can experience the act from the enterers point of view, it’ll be less overwhelming when he’s the- the enteree. Less unfamiliar. He’s not sure he’s even going to like it. Putting his dick in an ass. Yeah, it is Richie’s ass, but it’s still an ass. And, as he’s recently discovered, he likes having his ass played with, not playing with other asses. But still, he wants to try.
And Richie is more than happy to do anything he wants to try.
Home from college for the summer, friends-with-benefits Richie and Eddie have penetrative sex for the first time. It goes... about as well as can be expected.
Series
- Part 2 of The Intricacies of Masturbation
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The Intricacies of Masturbation by hermeticism
Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)
11 Nov 2025
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As it turns out, living with Richie actually isn’t half bad. It’s only been one and a half semesters, but Eddie, shockingly enough, still has his sanity intact!
Yeah, Richie keeps him up at night with his nonsensical rambling, and is always stinking up their room with his bong and playing his music too loud, but for the most part - he’s a pretty good roommate.
Honestly, if Eddie’s really thinking about it, he doesn’t have one mention worthy problem with him as a roommate.
Oh yeah. Besides the jerking off.
Richie and Eddie are college roommates. One is a chronic masturbator, the other can’t even touch his dick. Spending half a year listening to your best friend orgasm himself to sleep every night takes a toll on even the strongest of men... long story short, Eddie is not strong.
Series
- Part 1 of The Intricacies of Masturbation
Recent series
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- Words:
- 13,823
- Works:
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- Bookmarks:
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The Intricacies of Masturbation by hermeticism
Fandom IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
15 Dec 2025
- Words:
- 33,445
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 22
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Feelings Feelings Feelings by hermeticism
Fandom IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
17 Oct 2025
- Words:
- 11,632
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 7
Recent bookmarks
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Mike Wheeler has a specific request of his loving boyfriend, some drink spiking and light bondage later, those needs may just be met!
Bookmarked by hermeticism
26 Jan 2026
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Mike does not dream when he sleeps.
2022 Byler Gift Exchange Fic for carrionpigeonn!
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"We said we wouldn’t let it get weird.” Mike says. He pointedly makes eye contact with Max, then with Will, both of whom are blushing and trying to avoid his gaze. “It’s weird,” he declares. “We need to talk about it.”
"Okay. I'll start," Max says. “It’s weird because I liked it and can't stop thinking about it."
Mike chokes on thin air
"You- what?" he coughs.
"You heard me," Max says, shoulders squared despite her pink cheeks. They darken from pink to full red as she continues. "Also, the way you two kept looking at each other was hot," she says.
"We- i- what?" Will says eloquently.
“What?” she echoes. “It’s only fair. You saw me and Mike get off, now I want to see you guys get off together.”or;
Mike tries to get them to talk it out after he and Max accidentally hooked up in front of Will. Not a lot of talking gets done. Will is certainly not complaining.Series
- Part 2 of we could all be the best kind of friends
Bookmarked by hermeticism
16 Dec 2025
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Cabin in the- oh wait. by drakarifire
Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)
26 Jul 2021
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The premise of Cabin in the Woods except for monster f*cking. You're welcome.
Bookmarked by hermeticism
08 Dec 2025
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Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch Me by Mere_Mortifer
Fandoms: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti)
08 May 2020
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“Who the fuck are you?” Eddie exclaims before he can stop himself, and the man turns to face him with a shriek. "I have a dog, you know? He’s like half wolf or something, if you don’t get the fuck out my apartment I’ll tell him to attack!”
The man, incredibly, laughs again, this time less hysterical and more plainly awkward. “Yeah, uh, about that…”Or: Eddie brings a stray dog home. Turns out, it's a werewolf.