jasontoddbootysquad
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Stede Bonnet is not a young man. His knees creak when he stands up, small print gives him a headache, and falling asleep on the couch leaves his neck sore for a week. Yet here he is, forty-eight years old and painfully hard in his trousers.
After a sword fight.
All the heart-pumping adrenaline of being a pirate has Stede getting hard on a hair trigger, so he re-acquaints himself with the art of masturbation to try and work off some of the excess energy.
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Not Some Fairytale Fucking Princess by jasontoddbootysquad
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
14 Feb 2023
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Israel Hands is not some fairytale fucking princess.
He says as much out loud, and Edward grins down from where he’s carefully securing Izzy’s left wrist to the headboard. “Dunno, love. Could have fooled me.”
Goosebumps erupt across Izzy’s shoulders at the endearment, and Edward places a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist, just below the pink leather cuff he’d bought for the occasion. Once Izzy’s been fully secured, Ed sits back in the open space between his legs, taking him in with hungry eyes.
For once, Ed's the one who gets to dress Izzy in fine things. For #HappyEdIzzyWeek Prompt: Fairytale.
Series
- Part 4 of Happy EdIzzy Week
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A boy who looks to be around Ed’s age stands frozen, wearing nothing but a short silk robe. He’s hovering above a grizzled man who is naked from the waist down—and very, very dead. It’s not until Ed takes in the pool of blood seeping slowly out from beneath the man that he notices the knife in the boy’s hand. They stare at each other for a long moment, unmoving.
Then Ed jerks his chin towards the man on the ground. “He deserve it?”
Ed and Izzy meet in a brothel. For #HappyEdIzzyWeek Prompt: Meet-Cute/First Meeting.
Series
- Part 3 of Happy EdIzzy Week
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“Let’s switch gears, try a bit of role play. Izzy, you be yourself, and I’ll be Edward.”
Izzy thought, not for the first time, that Bonnet must have learned his craft from prime time television, because there was absolutely no way this was an acceptable clinical practice.
“This is fucking ridiculous.”
“Izzy! Is that how you would speak to me if I were Edward?”
Izzy and Ed replied instantly and in unison. “Yes.”
In which Stede Bonnet is such a terrible marriage counselor that he manages to fix Ed and Izzy’s marriage entirely by mistake. For #HappyEdIzzyWeek Prompt: Second Chances.
Series
- Part 2 of Happy EdIzzy Week
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Izzy rolls his eyes. “I don’t need fucking lessons. I watch you charm your way into some asshole’s bed every other night.”
He barely has time to react before Edward is launching himself onto the bed, pinning Izzy down with a leg on either side of his torso. Izzy immediately moves to push him off, but Ed grabs him by the wrists, wrestling them onto the pillow just above his head. He’s fully on top of Izzy, grinning, their faces just inches apart.
“You calling me a slut, Iz?”
Edward “flirting comes more naturally than breathing” Teach versus Izzy “wouldn’t be caught dead seeking affection” Hands. They’re young and in love, but they don’t know that part just yet. For #HappyEdIzzyWeek Prompt: The Art of Seduction.
Series
- Part 1 of Happy EdIzzy Week
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Peach Of A Table by BonnetPetit, heyhayley, radicallysoft
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Oct 2023
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DAY 12: Human furniture / Choking / “Don’t stop.”
Ed stumbles across Stede and his crew working at Spanish Jackie's and while Stede is eager to try and put things right between them, Ed doesn't want to hear it. What he does want is for Stede to stop talking and make himself useful, in more ways than one, and Stede is all too keen to prove himself to Ed again.
Series
- Part 3 of BonnetPetit/bonnypitty Kinktober 2023
- Part 2 of Heyhayley's OFMD Kinktober 2023
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,717
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 236
- Bookmarks:
- 26
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- 3,119
Bookmarked by jasontoddbootysquad
17 Oct 2023
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Ed, 43, is an ex-convict and successful artist. Stede wanders into Boodhari's gallery one day and Ed's never been more drawn to a person in his life.
Only problem is, Stede won't let himself have Ed. Stede has a secret and Ed has absolutely no fucking patience for it.
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Ed has a bunch of chance encounters and phone sex with some hot weirdo named Stede.“You startled me,” the man says. He's holding himself in an odd way, like he isn't afraid to fill space despite not knowing the proper way to do it. “I didn't- well, no one's ever down here.”
“No worries, mate,” Ed says with a wave of his hand. Cool. “Feel free to browse. Cut the light on your way out.”
The man doesn't move. Instead, he peers sort of suspiciously at Ed, clears his throat, and asks in a high voice, “I'm sorry, were you- were you hiding?”
“No,” Ed answers quickly.
“You were,” the man says, voice a bit more certain of itself. “You were hiding down here in the dark.”
“I wasn't.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,671
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 346
- Kudos:
- 561
- Bookmarks:
- 113
- Hits:
- 9,730
Bookmarked by jasontoddbootysquad
07 Sep 2023
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If it had been nothing more than an accident of sex, Izzy wouldn’t have gone with her. She’d have fought her way out, somehow, found a new crew, forgotten all about the tall, bearded woman and her enchanting voice.
But it wasn’t.
When all was said and done, it was very simple: from that moment on, Izzy knew who she belonged to.
Bookmarked by jasontoddbootysquad
02 Jul 2023
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"The potential is bench pressing us into the wall. And the flick of flames weaving through my teeth, if the hot gum were to slip out, where would we be?" — hot gum, Sofia Isella
It starts simple enough. Ed introduces Izzy to his new boyfriend, Stede.
Steddyhands Week Day Two! Izzy-centric, cheating/secrets/lies!
Series
- Part 2 of Steddyhands Week 2023
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,782
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 157
- Bookmarks:
- 26
- Hits:
- 2,179
Bookmarked by jasontoddbootysquad
24 Jun 2023
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The automated voice calls out a semi-cheerful “Thank you! Please hold,” and the line begins to ring.
Once, twice and then;
“Well, howdy there.”
His voice feels like a sip of scotch, low and rumbling warmly through Izzy’s chest.
1996. Izzy follows Ed (because he always follows Ed) to sunny Los Angeles when he decides he wants to be a movie star. Lonelier than he's ever been, he calls a 900 number and meets Jack Rackham, who makes things interesting.
Bookmarked by jasontoddbootysquad
07 Jun 2023