murdocked



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 10

    When the snow is over by

    Fandoms: ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band)  

    25 Mar 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Matthew doesn’t know what to do next, so he ends up sitting in a snowdrift, nervously overthinking everything. Gunwook, on the other hand, knows exactly what to do—and patiently digs him out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,657
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    452
    Bookmarked by murdocked

    29 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    Gunwook listens without interrupting. He doesn’t even get distracted by the pizza when it arrives, right as Matthew starts complaining about his sister—who, of course, has fully taken their parents’ side. He asks what kind of support Matthew needs: rational or emotional. Matthew says both, but right now he doesn’t want advice.
    So Gunwook takes his hand with fingers that have finally warmed up and squeezes it tightly. It hurts him too—just for completely different reasons. Matthew wishes he could stop reading Gunwook so easily.

     

    Gunwook looks at him lazily, through his lashes. He doesn’t ask how Matthew is—you can tell just by looking that he’s okay now. He doesn’t look away from Matthew’s lips, and Matthew can’t take it: he presses a quick kiss to his nose, then pushes him off the bed and sends him to the bathroom to brush his teeth.
    “You’re such a tsundere,” Gunwook smirks, in a tone that sounds way too adult.
    Matthew stays in his room until noon. Sometimes he thinks about the strange fact that he and Gunwook still haven’t kissed even once.
    Gunwook doesn’t touch him at all that day.

     

    The room is dark, but there’s light from the street, and Matthew’s eyes have adjusted. Gunwook blinks a lot, trying to make him out. There are only a few centimeters between them—they can feel each other’s breath on their lips. Matthew prays Gunwook will understand without words, that he’ll take the hint and kiss him first. Deep down, he wants an excuse—I didn’t do anything, you kissed me first. But Gunwook knows him too well, so he stays still. Matthew can feel his pulse speeding up through their chests.

  2. Public Bookmark *

    ten out of ten by

    Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    12 Mar 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya: He should buy lottery tickets because he is the luckiest man on earth 
    Ilya: He should get on his knees and thank god everyday that he got to fuck you
    Shane: Oh my God stop
    Ilya: What? I do that

    Or: The man who topped Shane in Mexico posts about his experience, Ilya contemplates murder, and the other queer NHL players get caught in the crossfire.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,798
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,602
    Kudos:
    21,404
    Bookmarks:
    2,319
    Hits:
    138,668
    Bookmarked by murdocked

    15 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Shane: I really thought he knew nothing about hockey. I can’t believe he was a big enough fan to recognize you of all people
    Hayden: That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me and I’m including years worth of “constructive criticism” at practice in that

    Luca: Oh wow. This post is very cruel
    Young: cruel??
    Holmberg: it’s lowkey hilarious lol
    Luca: I don’t think you should rate people you have sex with. I would be sad if someone did that to me
    Holmberg: idk 9/10 would boost my ego
    Luca: That makes me sad for you too

    Jill @gingeralencoke
    Wait Hollander folding his clothes before sex is so on brand and honestly so sweet!!
    victoria @rozbian
    DMing him the autism diagnosis criteria rn immediately

    Kip: I think the name itself was the problem. No one wants to moan Tim
    Kyle: This coming from a man who calls himself Kip by choice

    Luca: I am upset and also confused. What is the point of any of this? We are more than numbers!
    LaPointe: preach it 6/10

    J.J.: How many women though? 👀
    Shane: 🙄
    Shane: I don’t know, 5 or 6?
    Hayden: Oh
    Hayden: Well now I’m sad
    J.J.: Yeah I regret asking
    Shane: What why? Is that low?
    Hayden: No Shane it’s high for the gayest man I’ve ever met
    J.J.: ^^ the women outnumber the men! That blows

  3. Public Bookmark *

    home economics by Anonymous

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)  

    17 Feb 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,174
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,118
    Kudos:
    22,409
    Bookmarks:
    9,545
    Hits:
    379,127
    Bookmarked by murdocked

    12 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    so many gorgeous parts but top few:

    They’d toed the line of being more, of being something, and then they’d catapulted themselves across it in wordless agreement. They’d spent four months living out some sort of fucked up parody of domestic bliss, except the love wasn’t really mutual and they weren’t building towards any sort of future except the next tomorrow morning.

    That very first time Ilya had stormed into their kitchen, brandishing one of Shane’s shoes and telling him that there was no point in trying to kill him since they were officially on the same team for the foreseeable future. Shane should have gotten up from the couch, taken his face in his hands, kissed him on the forehead and told him he loved him.
    Even if he didn’t yet, back then. He should have known it was inevitable. And what the fuck kind of chance does impossible have when it’s up against inevitable?

  4. Public Bookmark *

    The Jane from Montreal Mystery by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    11 Mar 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    “So,” Cliff starts. “Ottawa.”

    “Ottawa,” Roz repeats, and the way he says it, half-amused, half-quizzical, gives Cliff nothing.

    “It’s not Montreal.”

    Roz looks offended. “Why would I go to fucking Montreal?”

    Cliff shrugs, going for casual. “Montreal Girl? I thought, you know, if you ever go to Canada…”

    Roz scoffs. “You and Montreal girl. You say I am obsessed with her, but is you who always talks about her.”

    “Yeah, because you’re always texting her!”

    “Well, I like to get laid.”

    And there’s Cliff’s opening.

    Or: Cliff has been suspecting that Roz moved to Ottawa for his Montreal girl for a while now. And tonight, they’re going to go out for drinks and he’s finally going to get some answers. Not even two overeager rookies are going to stop him. Except things don’t quite go as Cliff planned and Jane from Montreal is not what he expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    436
    Kudos:
    9,035
    Bookmarks:
    1,306
    Hits:
    49,468
    Bookmarked by murdocked

    12 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    Cliff wonders if Jane from Montreal wasn’t willing to move all the way to Boston for Roz but maybe was willing to move to Ottawa.

    Roz sighs. “My Montreal girl.” He lets out a laugh. Cliff can’t decide if it’s happy or nostalgic. He’s possibly more than a little drunk. That last shot didn’t help.
    “My Montreal Jane,” Roz says, a faraway look in his eyes. “You’re right, has always been Montreal Jane.” Roz is slurring now, Jane almost sounding like Shane.
    The bell for last call rings loudly through the bar.
    Roz raises his arm. “One more round!”
    Cliff protests, but when the shots arrive, Roz raises a glass and says, “To love. May we survive it.”
    Roz looks happy and sad at the same time though, and he might be an asshole but he’s also a good guy and Cliff doesn’t understand why Jane from Montreal is stringing him along like this. Roz moved to fucking Ottawa for her. Doesn’t she understand what a big fucking deal that is? There must be more to it, some big… reason, something, anything, but Cliff’s brain is too fuzzy to figure it out. He just knows he’s not a fan of Jane from Montreal right now, but he’s not drunk enough to say that out loud. He has a feeling Roz wouldn’t like it.

    Brooks clears his throat. “My cousin is a lesbian, so like, I’m down with the rainbow.” Then he cringes immediately.
    “Svensson, are you also down with the rainbow?” Roz asks sardonically.
    “I’m Swedish,” Svensson just says as if that explains everything.

  5. Public Bookmark *

    To only ever know the cold by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    29 Mar 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Svetlana knows about Jane. It's frankly insulting for Ilyusha to think otherwise.

    She just never expected to have to call him for help. During the Olympics. In Russia. In the dead of night.

    -
    Or, it's Sochi 2014 and Russia has lost to Latvia. Grigori Rozanov, not yet compromised by illness, punishes his son for shaming the family. When Svetlana finds an injured and emotionally fragile Ilya, she knows she needs somewhere safe for him to recover. And there's only one person in Russia who Sveta trusts with her Ilyusha: Canada's Golden Boy, Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,296
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,288
    Kudos:
    15,857
    Bookmarks:
    4,794
    Hits:
    200,945
    Bookmarked by murdocked

    11 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Jane: You're sure this isn't a prank? Feels like a spy movie.
    Svetlana: Welcome to Russia
    Svetlana: Now climb through the window

    Shane: There could be internal bleeding.
    Lily's Friend: He is too dramatic to keep any bleeding internally.
    Shane: That's not how bleeding works.
    Lily's Friend: And you say you're not a doctor?

    "Who's the current president?" Shane asks.
    "Putin. Is always Putin."
    "Fine. Who's president in America?"
    "The uh, husband of Michelle."
    "Good enough."

    This is a new low. Even for Ilya. He has hurt people, of course.
    It is the first time Ilya hurts someone in order to hurt himself. 

    Long minutes crawl by where all Ilya does is tug at his hair and think about how pathetic he's being.
    The door bursts open.
    Maybe he really is concussed, because there's no way Shane Hollander has come back for him.
    Shane's usual steady composure is totally gone. He breathes like he sprinted to the stadium and back. His eyes are puffy and red. And he's looking at Ilya in a way that makes him want to cower and cry at the same time.
    The shock has him speaking before he puts together a coherent thought. "You will be late for practice," Ilya says. He isn't quick enough to hide his concern. This is the Olympics. Shane is risking so much already and now he is late. Because of Ilya. Everything bad always seems to be because of Ilya.
    Shane say, “I couldn’t leave thinking you might be gone when I came back.”
    Ilya covers his face with his hands. I could not leave you. I tried.
    "Rozanov. Ilya, look at me."
    God help him, he obeys.
    Shane stands over him. In arm's length but hugging his elbows. Not touching, not reaching out, but here. Even being carried the other night did not make Ilya feel so small. Humiliation heats the back of his neck. He has been cruel and mean. He hurt Shane because of the hurt in himself.
    He is just like his father.

    “Is it really so terrible to have me take care of you?”
    Yes, it is terrible. It is like agony for you to touch me and for it never to hurt. I keep expecting it to hurt. It is so terrible how gentle you are. It is awful that you are so patient. And all I seem to do is wear away at your patience because I don’t know how to accept anything kind. The last person who looked at me like this was my mother. The last person to care for me like this killed herself. Sometimes I am scared that it was my fault, that I was such a burden, that my suffering was what finally broke her heart, and it would be truly terrible - worse than terrible - for the same thing to happen to you.
    He can’t say the words. He can hardly bear to think them.

    Kip has several theories about who the mysterious "friend" might be. Scott has a theory himself. He just desperately wants to be wrong.
    Scott is not wrong.
    Shane Hollander opens the door to his dorm and there, on the bed, is Ilya fucking Rozanov. 
    Scott swears. 

    Shane wants to kiss him goodbye. It’s a bad idea - one that he’s working up the courage to do anyway. That is, until Ilya shifts - almost imperceptibly - back. Away.

    Finding out about Hollander and Rozanov in Sochi gave Scott the courage to be braver about what he wants. Just a couple of weeks after the Olympics, Scott made the decision to go to Kip's birthday party. As miniscule as that sounds it was a huge deal to him. Even just going as a friend was so freeing, and he could tell it meant a lot to Kip. A few days after that they decided to tell Kip's dad. And while Scott has absolutely no plans to publicly come out in the near future, he feels like he's been given his life back. He's become a real person again - not a shadow.

    Of course Ilya hates it there. Dreads going back every year. But that does not matter, because wants do not matter. Not for him. He hates Shane for suggesting that he could choose not to go back. For years and years and years Ilya has kept that thought bottled up so tight it could never get out and now it's fucking out. He doesn't want to go back. Doesn't want to think about how scared he is to go back.

    Ilya doesn't remember how to care about someone without showing his teeth.

    Don't go to Russia. Ilya has never been brave enough to think these words. Now Shane Hollander has spoken them into existence, and it changes everything.
    His body stops working. Just freezes. Total overdrive. System failure. For the next ten hours Ilya thinks many, many forbidden thoughts.