nutty_keyring
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“Oh, hello, you,” Hermione said softly. It was a little frog, no bigger than the hollow of the palm of her hand. Gently, she scooped it up in her hand and smiled. It really was very cute.
Then it opened its mouth and said: “What the fuck, Granger?”
That was when she screamed and threw the frog straight back into the plants.
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In which Draco Malfoy is accidentally—and possibly irreversibly—turned into a frog, and he relentlessly
antagonizescharms Hermione Granger as she attempts to help him.- Language:
- English
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Bookmarked by nutty_keyring
11 May 2026
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When Draco stumbles upon a particularly nasty curse at work, Hermione's Friday evening plans suddenly go from a hot bath and a good book to staying late to help research a countercurse.
But Draco's ache only grows as the evening goes on. The pain and agony won't relent.
So Hermione offers to help him out. After all, it's what any good colleague would do.
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“I only meant, is there someone you could call? Someone you’re with, who could…”
Draco laughs. The sound is harsh. “If I were seeing someone, do you think I’d still be sitting here with you instead of buried deep inside her right now?”
- Language:
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- 3/?
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Bookmarked by nutty_keyring
06 May 2026
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Now complete.
Hermione Granger lives in a house with legs, with a swamp-lizard named Stripes, in a semi-sentient ecosystem that occasionally burps up lost things. It’s not ideal, but after five and a half years in the Neitherlands, she’s made it work.
Then Draco Malfoy falls from the sky. Literally.
He has questions, a missing bag, and limited patience for her deeply repressed need for human contact.
As they navigate a shaky path between physics and magic, and a shared past, they might even figure out how to save their world.
This is a story about two lonely people trying to stitch the cosmos back together.
- Language:
- English
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- 50,805
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- 10/10
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Bookmarked by nutty_keyring
27 Apr 2026
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Hermione Granger is not supposed to be sharing a bed with Draco Malfoy, and Draco Malfoy is certainly not supposed to be cutting doors into Hogwarts walls. The truth of the matter is, that in eighth year: insomnia rules. They only need each other to get to sleep but when one sleepless night becomes an arrangement neither of them can explain, how long can it possibly last?
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- English
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- 108,684
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- 32/32
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Bookmarked by nutty_keyring
27 Apr 2026
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HERMIONE GRANGER, divorced mother of two, storied public servant, and taker of way too much bullshit, is ready to act on her desire to burn the Ministry of Magic to the fucking ground.
DRACO MALFOY, enigmatic widower, patron saint of excess wealth, and man of shadowy connections, is all too eager to be timber for her flame.
WHEN THEIR CHILDREN become fast friends at Hogwarts, an unlikely alliance is formed between the former rivals. Schemes are plotted, conspiracies are hatched, and—of course—innumerable orgasms are had along the way.
Welcome to HERMIONE GRANGER and the COUP D’ETAT
Bookmarked by nutty_keyring
19 Apr 2026