whythehellnothavefun
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Recent works
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Not All Vampires Sparkle by whythehellnothavefun
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
15 May 2024
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Summary
Sometimes, Harry wished he waited a few seconds to think things through before he did (or said) something.
It only ever got him in trouble.
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One mission in, and Alex Rider had already become a liability.
There was no denying the boy's effectiveness.
But he'd also "accidentally" killed two people, shot the Prime Minister in the hand, caused thousands of pounds worth of damage to the London Science Museum and, worst of all, been caught on live TV.
He was too famous to use and a potential snitch (perhaps they shouldn't have blackmailed him).
Well, there's one way to make him untrustworthy, and Alex helped them with the solution.
A few days later, Alex Rider is sitting in front of a judge after being sentenced to 35 years in prison. -
Albus died instead of Ariana? by whythehellnothavefun
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
25 Dec 2023
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Summary
Ariana Dumbledore died after stepping into the middle of a three-way duel between her two brothers and her eldest brother’s… boyfriend? lover? friend with benefits? What effect would Albus dying instead have had on various characters in the wizarding world (Told in bullet point format, as this is a list of ideas. It also includes characters from the Fantastic beasts trilogy and a reference to Cursed Child)
Series
- Part 13 of WTHNHF's series of Harry Potter What Ifs
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Lab Rat by whythehellnothavefun
Fandoms: Alex Rider (TV 2020), Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
08 Nov 2023
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Summary
Human experimentation, as provided by the ICCPR, can only take place when the person being experimented on gives "free consent" and isn't "subjected" to taking part in "medical or scientific experimentation".
Then again, some people have no issue with blackmailing a teenager into doing their work for them, so why would a pesky thing like "free consent" stop them from human experimentation?Series
- Part 1 of Lab Rat
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Summary
There is nothing better than when a plan works out exactly as you expected, without having to resort to Plan B.
Series
- Part 12 of WTHNHF's series of Harry Potter What Ifs
Recent series
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WTHNHF's series of Harry Potter What Ifs by whythehellnothavefun
Fandom Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
25 Dec 2023
Summary
Unlike a fanfic with multiple chapters following the same story, this set of one-shots will have an irregular upload schedule (whenever I have an idea, in other words). There could be a gap of a fortnight, a month, or even years, but that doesn’t mean another one-shot couldn’t be uploaded after any amount of time.
- Words:
- 40,355
- Works:
- 13
- Bookmarks:
- 13
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Lab Rat by whythehellnothavefun
Fandom Alex Rider (TV 2020), Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
08 Nov 2023
Summary
Fic 1 (Lab Rat) - complete
Fic 2 (possible title = Lab Rat: Afterbirth/Aftercare) - some stage in the future- Words:
- 8,952
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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WTHNHF's series of essays by whythehellnothavefun
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
11 Dec 2022
Summary
This won't be a traditional one-shot fanfic. There is no plot, no dialogue and no drama. Instead, this will be kinda like an essay about a topic related to various fandoms.
Updates will be whenever I get an idea (after I finish cross posting from ff.net).
- Words:
- 2,450
- Works:
- 4
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Harry has enough.
The Ministry is a bunch of morons. Cedric is dead, Voldemort has returned, but no one wants to listen. During his trial, he loses it.
This is the last time the wizarding world hears of Harry Potter... Until years later.
Series
- Part 3 of Mostly dark Tomarry fanfics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,762
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 268
- Bookmarks:
- 52
- Hits:
- 4,731
Bookmarked by whythehellnothavefun
07 Dec 2025
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Meanings And Assumptions by Faithless_3105 for Trueliarose, razz, Qtheallpowerful
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Oct 2024
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Summary
Severus Snape was working in his little florists, content with his lot in the world. He had his freedom, as well as his quiet little shop, and he was free to do whatever he wanted. He was content with his lot, even if he wasn’t particularly happy. Of course things were never going to stay that way when none other than Harry Potter stormed in demanding a 'fuck you' bouquet. Severus had no idea who it was that had earned the saviour's ire in that way, but he was very curious about who it was. He had an urge to make them pay himself, even without knowing what their offence was. It didn’t mrahe had feelings for Harry though, honest, even if the young man had really grown into his looks.
Bookmarked by whythehellnothavefun
07 Dec 2025
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Summary
Alex Rider decides that stabbing Alan Blunt with his steak knife is more appealing than a career in espionage. This gets him sent to Gibraltar and eventually he makes his way to Scorpia. Mildly cracked!Alex. Mentor! Nile and Yassen. Gordon can’t stop laughing.
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Severus Snape was not one for ‘dating’. It fell to him, then, to capture himself a Mate.
Series
- Part 1 of The Monstrous Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,986
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 2,262
- Bookmarks:
- 362
- Hits:
- 34,848
Bookmarked by whythehellnothavefun
18 Oct 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
FIW2WALVO
YALEX
HARRY - ALEX
SNAPE - YASSENYASSEN SENT TO KILL ALEX, FALLS UNDER HEAT
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Summary
Harry is concerned over his relationship with Severus. Having been together for over a year and nothing progressing, he assumes the worse.