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“Hey, sweet or salty popcorn?” Connor shouted from the kitchen, where he was preparing snacks for their Friday movie night.
“S-salty, please!” Evan replied, scrolling through Netflix. He was sitting on Connor’s couch, his legs curled underneath him, trying to decide between UP and tangled. He’d been on edge all day, and for some reason just couldn’t choose between the two movies. He felt like he was going to burst into tears, his mind constantly going back to earlier that day, when he’d been handed back his math test with a D in the corner. If he kept getting bad grades, then he’d fail math then he wouldn’t get into college and his family would be disappointed and he’d have nowhere to live and then he’d die starving on the streets and-
Connor walked in, his hair in a bun, carefully balancing a bowl of popcorn and two sodas on a tray.
“Hey, Ev. Which movie did you pick? One of your cheesy Disney movies full of squishy romance bullshit?” he grinned, placing the tray down on the coffee table and jumping onto the couch next to his best friend.
“I-I don’t KNOW!” he stressed, startled at how harshly it came out.
“O-OhmygodI’msorryI’mjustabitstressedand-“
“Evan,” Connor said calmly, placing his hand on the smaller boy’s. “Breathe.” Evan clasped Connor’s hand tight, trying his hardest to breathe deeply and stop crying.
“I-It’s just I-I-I keep g-getting r-really bad grades a-and I-I can’t fail m-math and-“
“Math?” Connor asked. “Dude, I’ve been getting A’s in math for as long as I can remember… at least when I try. I could tutor you!” he grinned.
“R-really?”
“Fuck yeah! I mean, I could use some help in biology and science, so…”
“I-I c-can help if y-you want!”
“That’s what I was implying, Ev.” Connor smirked.
“O-oh o-o-okay sorry!” Evan said quickly, his eyes still brimming with tears that he tried to wipe away.
“Hey, stop crying!” The taller boy said softly, lifting Evan’s chin.
“I-I’m not!”
“Oh, really?”
A grin spread across Connor’s face as he launched toward Evan, tickling him with little to no mercy.
“N-n-no! Connor!” Evan giggled. “S-s-s-stop!”
He didn’t stop.
“Connor!!!”
“Okay, okay.” The taller boy smiled, lying on Evan’s chest, hugging him so they wouldn’t fall off the couch. “Do you feel a bit better?” He asked, looking up at Evan. Connor’s eyes were wide and sparkling, his cheeks were slightly flushed, and his hair was falling out of its bun. Evan could’ve counted the freckles on Connor’s face if he wanted to, and suddenly he felt a rush of affection for his best friend of nearly five years.
He always knows how to make me happy again.
I don’t know what I’d do without him.
He’s amazing.
I want to kiss him.
The last thought startled him. It was unexpected. Evan was straight. Very straight. A heterosexual poster boy. Wasn’t he?
They were thirteen years old, assigned with each other for an English task. Once they got talking, Connor told Evan about his pet mouse, Ninja, and Evan told Connor about the time he accidentally set the fire alarm off in the local history museum. That was the first time he heard Connor laugh, and it was addictive.
They were fourteen years old, having their first sleepover. Evan found Connor at four AM trying to make a bread smoothie and dragged him back to bed after he attempted to drink it. They still couldn’t sleep, so Evan let Connor ramble on about dinosaurs and Shakespeare, watching his eyes shine as if the roof had opened over their heads. If Evan felt like kissing the taller boy that night, he blamed it on the lack of sleep.
They were fifteen years old, Connor crying on Evan’s shoulder after he’d been kicked out of the house again. It was the middle of the day, the sun shining brightly onto their faces as they hid from the world in the orchard they both loved. Hours passed, and no matter how matted and dirty Connor’s hair was, despite his slightly scarred face (acne), and his aura of general darkness, Evan thought he was beautiful.
They were sixteen years old, watching a playing of the original ‘IT’. Connor claimed Evan had to watch the classics. However, halfway through, he checked with Evan to check he was okay. When he claimed he was, Connor reached underneath the arm of the seat and grabbed Evan’s hand. The taller boy’s hand was calloused and rough, but it was comfortingly warm. Y’know, after Evan stopped worrying about whether or not his hand was sweaty.
“Ev? Is tangled okay?” Connor asked, getting off Evan and dusting himself off.
“Y-yeah! Why wouldn’t it be? I mean, I l-like tangled it’s about-“
“Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” He questioned, looking slightly hurt, and soft, and vulnerable. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he’d ruin their friendship?
“N-no! N-n-nothing!”
“Okay…” Connor said suspiciously.
They started the watch the movie, the lights off and movie blaring. About fifteen minutes in, Connor put his head in Evan’s lap like he always did. Except this time, Evan nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Evan, what the fuck have I done?” Connor said suddenly, sitting up. “Because you’ve been twitchy and weird all night, and I don’t know why.”
“N-no I h-h-h-h-haven’t!” Evan spluttered.
“Yes, you have. You just proved it! I haven’t heard you stutter like that in ages!” He accused, crossing his arms. “You avoided the fucking question. What. Did. I. Do.”
“N-nothing, I-I promise! I-I just had a bad day”
“Okay. Well, I don’t believe you, for the record, but I want to finish the movie. So, whatever’s bothering you about me is gonna have to wait.”
“Y-you’re not b-bothering me, I p-promise!”
“Sure.” Connor said, sitting back down on the other end of the couch, and pressing play. Evan hoped Connor would put his head back, but the taller boy was curled up a meter away from him, his eyes shining from the light of the screen, his arms wrapped around his legs.
“Iwanttokissyou!” Evan blurted out.
“What?” He paused the movie and furrowed his eyebrows.
“I-I want to kiss you…” Evan repeated quietly.
“What? Don’t play with me, Evan…”
“I-I’m not!”
“Because if you are, then I’m going to seriously regret doing this.” Connor said softly, scooting closer to the smaller boy and running his fingers across Evan’s jawline.
“Okay?”
Evan closed the distance between them, and he felt the other boy breathe in quickly. Connor’s lips were dry and chapped where Evan’s were soft, but it was nice. Calm. Connor slowly kissed along Evan’s jawline, taking his time while the other boy blushed, then moved back to his mouth. He ran his hands through Connor’s hair, then-
They fell off the couch. Evan couldn’t contain his laughter, leaning back into Connor softly to hug him.
Kissing is ridiculous, he thought.
And I never want to stop.