Chapter Text
Alethia felt the cart rattle as it bumped over another stone and grit her teeth. When she’d seen her wound the first time at Eastwatch-by-the-sea, she’d almost passed out again. There had been an actual hole in her stomach, as in, she could put three fingers in, and they came out of her back.
No one had any idea how she had survived that and Alethia had been theorizing herself, when she noticed the pace of her recovery. The skin had begun to grow inward from the rim of the injury, only leaving an angry, red scar. When she saw the process, it reminded her of Deadpool.
Alethia was happy with that though, the guy had been a pansexual, immortal, funny guy with too much trauma. Who wouldn’t want to be like him? Well, maybe you had to lose all your innocence in the face of death first.
By the time they left the Castle two days later to ride for her home, the wound hadn’t closed and Jon and Edd insisted that she sat on the cart. So now, Alethia was surrounded by screaming kids.
She almost wished for mortality as the first fight between two broke out, but after a while, most of them fell asleep from exhaustion.
Like the little girl whose head was resting on her shoulder. Her hair was kissed by the fire and Al foggily remembered that she’d been the one to get help when she collapsed on the ship.
Before the girl had fallen asleep, Al had found out her name was Natasha and that she was Karsis’ kid. She’d also found out that Karsi was dead.
Her wife had hidden her grief well, holding their three-year-old daughter in her arms as she tried to console Natasha. In the end, Nat had found Al and jumped into her arms. Al had held the girl as best she could and let her fall asleep on her shoulders.
Alethia watched the Wildling column behind her, making up stories about warriors, mothers, healers. It was much more interesting than consistently staring at the Wall next to her. Finally, they arrived at Castle Black and the gate.
They stood there for at least ten minutes and Al began to worry that they wouldn’t let them in, leave them to die, when the gate creaked at Yarwick’s command, and the column was let through.
Jon, Edd and Tormund entered first. Al heard the whispers when they noticed her missing at the head of the column. It wounded her pride to sit with a cart and the children. So, when the column came to another halt in the tunnel, she carefully let Nat rest against the side of the cart and got off very slowly.
She stumbled through the tunnel, letting her hands guide her. Jon had been right, riding on a horse would’ve killed her. Or whatever it was that was closest to death now.
When she finally saw the light of the sun burning onto the snow, she was relieved to see the men re-sheath their swords. Alethia stumbled a little more without the support of the tunnel, but then Edd was there, supporting her.
It wasn’t that she minded him, she just would’ve preferred Jon.
Though she wanted to stay and help, Jon actually commanded Edd to bring her up to the infirmary, making her rest. She supposed it didn’t hurt to rest for just a little…
***
When she woke up, the infirmary had filled substantially and Edd, Daemon and Satin were trying their best to treat the wounded.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Al asked very loudly. They all jumped and turned around at her voice.
“The Lord Commander said you needed to rest.” Satin defended.
“Yeah, well the Lord Commander can suck it.” Al grumbled under her breath, too quiet for them to hear.
“At least let me give you some instructions. I’m very well rested. Get me a chair and let me sit next to the injured, I can help you and them then.”
They looked at each other, and finally, they seemed to decide that it was alright to let her help. The first man they brought her to was writhing in pain. They all looked like they wanted to flee the room.
“Who of you can read best?” she asked in their direction, assessing the situation. Satin volunteered and went of to find Milk of the Poppy on the shelf Al had told him to look.
“Edd, what the hell happened here?”
“His leg got crushed under flying wood. He’s still got a lot of it in his leg.” He told her, looking considerably pale. Finally, Satin returned with the drug and Al gave the man as much as she dared.
“Okay, Edd, Daemon begin to pull out the splinters. Pretend you’re cutting some meat and don’t want to ruin the fillet. Same here, don’t pull or push against the structure of the muscle.” She instructed and they began following her words. They were doing… alright.
“Satin, I trust you to have precise hands, get some tweezers from the drawer over there and begin to pull out smaller splinters.”
After a while, they had finished their first patient. Following Al’s instructions, the four of them treated the first round of patients, clearing those that were healed and getting a steady flow of new injured. Sometime in between all the wounded, a spearwife asked for something to calm the children and Al prescribed some nightshade while the men set their third bone.
At the end of it, Daemon had only thrown up twice and Edd was as pale as snow. Satin however, seemed completely unfazed. He was good, having done most of the complicated things.
“You’d make a good healer or maester, you know.” Alethia told him at the end of their workday and Satin smiled with pride while Daemon walked down into the courtyard to dispose of his vomit.
The infirmary emptied a little as the sun set, only the man with the splinters and those with broken bones or worse remaining. Alethia sighed and washed her hands in a basin.
“I thought I specifically commanded you to rest.” Jon said. Alethia turned around and saw him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.
“And I did. But then this guy here started screaming and Edd looked like a ghost. Besides, I just told them what to do. Daemon is currently throwing his own vomit in the latrines.”
Jon chuckled and crossed the room until he sat in the chair across from her. “Just don’t overwork yourself, yeah?”
“I won’t, promise.” Al replied and took his hand, which was free of the sling.
“You terrify me, you know.” Jon said, smiling. He looked out of the window facing away from the Wall. Alethia followed his eyes and looked at the sunset.
“Love is the scariest thing in the world.” She replied, watching the sun turn the sky gold and pink. It wouldn’t set completely, but this was still beautiful.
“Davos wants to speak to you.” Jon told her quietly.
“Way to ruin the mood.” Al replied teasingly but nodded and Jon helped her finish her work before disappearing to get the knight.
***
Ser Davos entered the infirmary with his typical quiet footfall and Alethia offered him a chair.
“Stannis sent me to get more supplies for the army. I left right before the battle and not before Melisandre made her sacrifice.”
Alethia’s stomach sunk. “Who?”
“Selyse Baratheon. And twenty soldiers.” Davos replied, staring at nothing.
“Oh. Poor Shireen. Why?”
“Melisandre said something about her being a traitor, an unbeliever. I saw half of the men desert as I left for Castle Black.”
“You can stay here. I’ll get you to Shireen when I’ve made a recovery.” Alethia promised. The old knight nodded and got up to leave. Carefully, Alethia walked to her own room. She closed her eyes to fall asleep, but she couldn’t. Alethia felt like she was forgetting something. It was connected to Davos’ arrival…
Her eyes flew open as she heard light footsteps in the infirmary.
Olly.
As the door opened, Al closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. The door closed soon after and Alethia stayed still, just in case.
Then she heard the boy’s voice in the infirmary. “She’s asleep.” He said, before he left the infirmary. If there had been a second person in the room, it must’ve been an experienced ranger.
An experienced ranger. Ser Alliser Thorne was an experienced ranger, but it would’ve been suspicious for him to enter the room of an injured woman. So, he’d sent Olly. The old knight didn’t want her to get into the crossfire of the mutiny, Alethia realized tiredly, trying to go back to sleep.
The mutiny!
Olly was on his way to Jon. Perhaps she could still save Jon and Olly. No, the boy had made his choice. But Jon…
Alethia got up and dressed quickly. The hole in her stomach was considerably smaller, only two fingers wide. She grabbed Lucifer and her dagger from the nightstand and snuck out of her room.
She hobbled towards Jon’s office, but when she finally made it, it was empty. The voices of Olly and Jon echoed up the stairwell and Alethia basically let herself fall down the stairs to stop him. Finally, she caught up with them, but Jon was already standing in front of the cross, reading the inscription.
He turned around and the first dagger stabbed into him.
“NO!” Alethia screamed and drew her sword. Every single one of the mutineers turned around, but she ignored him and stared at the dagger embedded in his stomach.
“Al.” Jon called, and she stumbled forward, toward him. She felt her knees give out an pulled herself up with the railing. She cursed the black spots at the edges of her vision. Thorne turned around and pulled the dagger out.
“For the Watch.” He said, letting two more stab Jon.
Alethia choked on her scream as she watched him go to his knees, not caring if they saw her tears. What if Melisandre didn’t make it? That was the thing she worried about.
“Escort Lady Black to her chambers and make sure she stays there.” Thorne commanded the two that had already stabbed Jon. Alethia sobbed and got into fighting stance. She barely managed to hack at them as they restrained her.
Alethia desperately kicked and bit them, but it was no use. When one of them punched her into her wound, she began slipping in and out of consciousness.
As she became more lucid, she noticed the gag in her mouth. Alethia struggled against the grip of the men and searched for something in the dark infirmary to help her. She cursed herself for not wearing the strengthened stay, for not wearing any stay at all, only the binding the maester had made at Eastwatch.
All she could do was make the lives of these two traitors as hard as she could. So Alethia kicked and bit and screamed, but it was no use. One of them threw her on her bed and Al wanted to give up. But then a horror overcame her as he began pulling at her pants, laughing.
“The ones in Mole’s Town never give a fight.” He complained to his comrade and tugged again. Alethia kicked him square in the chest and he slapped her in return. The other man began to hold her legs down and Alethia began to panic.
They had already removed her first pants and were continuing with her belt when she remembered her dagger. Blindly, Al grabbed down and curled her hand around the handle, slashing at the man’s cheek.
He yowled and let her go for a moment, but the other man disarmed her and bound her hand.
Alethia felt his grimy hand slide under her shirt and squirmed away, but he grabbed her roughly by the waist. Finally, she managed to get rid of the gag and tried to scream, but the man clapped a hand over her mouth.
Alethia bit down hard, but the man didn’t let go, so she took a finger in her mouth and bit until it crunched.
He let go and put her gag back in, cradling his broken finger.
“Filthy little bitch.” The man snarled, but Alethia was too occupied with kicking the other man away. When he leaned down to spit in her face, Alethia headbutted him. A blinding pain ran through her, and the man retaliated with a punch to her eye.
Alethia thought he’d finally let off, but she felt his hands close around her neck. She knew that this could kill her, but not being able to breathe was so, so much worse. Alethia clawed at her neck as the other man removed another layer. This fabric was the last thing stopping him.
Alethia began to lose consciousness, struggling against what would happen if she didn’t fight and felt the tip of a knife against her thigh as the fabric was cut open. A hand was on her thigh, sliding up too quickly.
She felt her eyes closed when suddenly, something wet spattered against her face. Then, the pressure from her neck was gone.
Al gasped for air and looked around disoriented. Her room was a mess, thrown over furniture and two dead men. She regretted giving the wildlings that much painkiller.
Had Jon saved her? No, she’d seen him die. She looked up and saw the face of the last man she wanted to have in her room now.
Alliser Thorne stared at the corpses as he cleaned his sword. “Get out you traitor.” Al spat, blood flying from her mouth. Thorne said nothing, gathering the corpses and staring at Alethia.
Before he left her room, Thorne threw her a rag. He pointed at her face, but Alethia knew she wouldn’t clean away the evidence. She waited until Thorne was gone and pulled up her undershirt. Her wound had reopened a little, but this was the least of her worries. She grabbed a mirror and looked at herself.
Her lip was split open, her eye beginning to bruise, and red marks were around her neck. A cut on her thigh was bleeding and her arms were chafed from the ropes that had bound her. She was surprised she wasn’t missing any teeth.
Al felt dazed as she hurled her supper into the corner of her room. She wanted to draw a bath but stopped the notion where it was. Instead, she got her battle clothes and attempted to put them on. Alethia searched her room for Lucifer but soon realized that Thorne must have taken it.
When she looked under her bed however, she found her dagger lying there. She grabbed into her chest and pulled out the knife Jon had given her at Winterfell. After hurling her guts out one last time, she stumbled into the corridor once more.
Alethia barely made it three steps when Davos came running at her. “Jon is dead.” He told her.
When he saw her face, he drew in a breath sharply. “I know. Get Edd, Tormund and Satin and bring Jon’s body to the office. And Ghost too.” Alethia stumbled into the infirmary and got whatever she needed to treat her injuries, she wouldn’t leave Jon.
As she stumbled over the empty courtyard, a single horse with a dark figure rode into the castle.
“You!” Alethia gasped. Melisandre had come.
“Don’t threaten me girl.” Melisandre warned, but her backwards steps betrayed her fear.
“Bring your horse to the stable and come to Jon’s office. Let’s see if your god is any good. If you bring back Jon, I’ll keep my mouth shut about the murders you committed.” Alethia warned. To her surprise, the woman nodded and disappeared into the stables.
When Alethia finally entered Jon’s office, everyone was already there. They all gasped at her face, which Al was sure only looked worse now that it had time to swell.
“I’m gonna kill those- “Tormund began, but Al interrupted him.
“Find something to bar the door. The Red Woman is the only one were letting in, get it? Tormund, go get the Free Folk. I want those bastards to be brought to justice.” Alethia commanded, and to her surprise, Tormund left immediately.
When Edd opened his mouth, Alethia shut him up too. “Don’t ask.” Instead, she took a basin and a cloth and began to take off Jon’s top. Everyone looked away uncomfortably-
“Oh come on. I won’t fuck his corpse. I just don’t want him to be bloody when we bury him.” Relief flooded the room and Alethia began to clean the cuts, ignoring that everyone here had considered the possibility. She had just gotten the blood away from the first cut when Melisandre entered the room.
“Can you do it?” Alethia asked her, and Davos seemed to realize her plan.
"I can try.” Melisandre replied. Her fingers touched Jon’s cheek and Alethia felt jealousy flare inside of her.
“I saw him in the flames,” she told herself “Fighting at Winterfell.”
“I can’t speak for the flames,” Davos replied, lighting a brazier “But he’s gone.”
Finally, Melisandre took her hand from Jon’s face. Then, she left the room and shut the door. It felt like the loudest thing in the world, and Al was worried that things had fallen out of place because of her.
Davos groaned like the old man he was as he settled into the chair next to her. She was reminded of Aemon but pushed the thought away. Now was not the time.
Suddenly, Davos said plainly. “Thorne will have made it official by now: Castle Black is his.”
“I don’t care who sits at the high table,” Edd snarled, standing up. “Jon was my friend. And those fuckers butchered him. Now we return the favor.”
“We don’t have the numbers,” Davos firmly reminded.
“We have a dire wolf,” Edd argued, “and we have Al, she survived a spear to the stomach!” He pointed to her.
“I’m in no condition to fight Edd. Two men just tried to rape me and did all this. I don’t even know the extent of my own injuries!” she confessed. Edd fell silent and stared at his feet. “We need to wait till we have more men.”
“But we don’t have more men.” Edd exclaimed.
“Why the hell did you think I sent Tormund away? He’s our best fighter but he speaks for the Free Folk and they all owe their lives to Jon.”
A silence fell over the room as they waited for Thorne to come and kill them all. Alethia tried to busy herself by treating her wounds. Her hand gripped her knife as someone cleared their throat next to her.
Satin looked at her with kind eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened. I know what it’s like. Do you want me to help?” he asked quietly. Alethia nodded and closed her eyes in relief for just a second.
It seemed like an eternity ago, but Al had taught him all he did now just a few hours ago. And she hadn’t lied, Satin was good at what he was doing.
Melisandre didn’t return in the morning. She didn’t return when Alliser Thorne and his men came knocking. Al regretted letting her go. She still didn’t come when the sun sank and Thorne promised to let Davos go and give Al a fair trial. She snorted; Thorne could stick his trial up his ass.
Al barely jumped when the men began to hack at the door. She handed Edd Longclaw and took his rather blunt sword for herself. Satin held a dagger tightly and Davos and Daemon held their own swords.
They had managed to create a small hole in the door when Al heard the battle cries of the Free Folk. Amidst it all, she heard a familiar voice yell a command.
“Spearwives, fight!” Karsi’s wife commanded, and she heard their spears clash with the steel of the swords. Finally, finally, Tormund returned.
“Davos, you’re coming with me to get that witch.” Al told him, her voice hurting her throat. They didn’t have to walk for long when Melisandre met them in a hallway. She looked so tired and confused, Al’s heart almost broke for her. Almost.
“You were right. Stannis wasn’t the prince who was promised.” The woman told her. “So you think it’s Jon Snow?” she asked Al.
“Most likely.” Alethia answered, just in case.
***
Melisandre took the rag from the basin filled with red water and finished scrubbing Jon down. Alethia had helped her undress Jon, constantly feeling a blush rise to her cheeks. Now, Jon was lying on the table with only a cloth covering his junk.
Melisandre stood at his body and stared for a little Al squeezed her hand and finally, the woman began chanting the Valyrian prayer. She cut a lock of his hair, poured water over his head, and kept chanting.
When she stopped, nothing happened. Melisandre stopped and finished with a begging ‘please’. Alethia knew that plea at least, she had begged for her own life only a few days ago. Still nothing happened.
Defeated, the priestess left the room. Soon, Edd and Tormund followed suit and Daemon and Satin seemed happy for a reason to leave. Davos lingered a little longer. He put a hand on Al’s shoulder. Then, he left too.
Alethia was alone with Ghost now. The direwolf went to sleep soon after everyone left. But Alethia couldn’t sleep. Exhaustion filled her limbs like metal and weighed her down, but somehow, she still couldn’t doze off.
She pulled her chair to Jon’s side and for the first time in her life, she prayed in complete seriousness. She prayed to whoever would listen. She repeated the words over and over in her mind.
Please, please let him live.
The sun set over Castle Black and Alethia began to lose hope. Somewhere, in all of this mess, something had gone wrong and now Jon would stay dead. All thanks to her. Al stared at the wounds still standing out against his skin.
When she grabbed his hand, it was as cold as the spear that had entered her. The warmth was gone. Silent tears began running down her face, but she kept holding his big hand in both of hers, praying again. If you won’t let him live, whoever you are, then please let him be happy on the other side. He’s felt enough pain already. Don’t make him suffer in death too.