Chapter Text
It’s been a long time since Shen Qingqiu has seen the system. Part of it is because of his successful completion of the storyline and part of it is because he’s pretty sure that not getting intermittently annoyed by the chirping, robotic voice is part of life’s honeymoon gift to him. And since his honeymoon with his very focused protagonist of a husband is and will continue to be everlasting, he expects the gift to last a while.
So it comes as an unpleasant surprise when, in the middle of blocking a spell heading Luo Binghe’s way with his body — and why is he still doing this! He knows his husband can’t die, no matter what! — time slows down, and the violent rush of fighting a demonic cultivator becomes a still tableau. Shen Qingqiu feels shock pulse through him as Luo Binghe’s face freezes in one of shock while the cultivator’s face remains in its twisted, grotesque expression.
They had only been exploring the town because Shen Qingqiu had heard there was a craftsman there that was renowned for his sugar paintings. As always, trouble had reared its head in the form of a cultivator that twigged on to the fact that an extremely powerful demon was in his midst. That cultivator wanted to harness Luo Binghe’s powers, sought out a fight, Shen Qingqiu’s boneheaded instinct to protect overrode his knowledge that Luo Binghe’s protagonist halo makes him indestructible etcetera etcetera, and now they are here.
Shen Qingqiu is frozen mid-air; it’s sort of strange, and it feels for a moment like he’s lying on his side on an invisible bed. He wonders what the hell happened, when a familiar, translucent teal screen flickers to life in front of him.
<< Welcome, welcome, welcome! This system welcomes back player Peerless Cucumber!>>
It’s confusing— normally the system does not freeze time for Shen Qingqiu like this. He pinches his brow, mild concern and dread building up within him. It’s sadly not a feeling that’s new to him.
“Uh…” he tries, but the familiar and much-hated voice starts to prattle off the latest thing it wants to use to torture Shen Qingqiu as the screen draws up what looks like an option menu.
<< Expansion Package ‘Simmering Heat: Ever-Longing Summer ’ has completed download. Please review options below:
- 21 day option ( Cost: 0 B-points. Reward: 10000 B-Points)
- 14 day option ( Cost: 100 B-points. Reward: 5,000 B-Points)
- 7 day option (Cost: 1000 B-Points. Reward: 1,500 B-Points). >>
“What the hell is this?” Shen Qingqiu grumbles, trying to adjust his arm. Unfortunately, he can’t move much either. At least the sharp pain of the blast the cultivator threw his way isn’t prolonged. That would truly be too cruel.
<< The objective of this game is to increase the protagonist’s affection to levels unseen! >>
Shen Qingqiu groans on the inside. Every time he’s been tasked in the past with doing something to “increase the protagonist’s affection levels”, he’s always had to suffer. Physically, emotionally, any mix of the two— he needs a break!
And what levels unseen? Every day with Binghe is revealing levels unseen! He is a young man with stamina, an overactive imagination, and very little face when it comes to their business between the sheets!
<< Suffering is objective. If you do not choose, you will get the default free option. >>
Shen Qingqiu makes a hundred rude gestures towards the system in his mind before trying to figure out what the hell this game is. The system does not offer any rules, nor does it offer an explanation. Instead, Shen Qingqiu gets a flashing warning sign that says,
<< Please choose within the next fifteen seconds otherwise the offer will expire! >>
And he’s supposed to pay for this game? Why does the free option have the highest reward? What kind of pain is he in for? Why is it so hard to open his mouth and talk?
<< Ten seconds >>
Shen Qingqiu tries to open his mouth and blurt out his choice but he finds his mouth too is frozen, and he’s only able to make the same “uh” sound as before. This was truly too cruel— he needs to have a word with the system, and then he needs to have a word with the wretched father of this world.
<< Player must make choice in 5...4...3...2...1 >>
System, you can’t put this kind of pressure without at least giving a glimpse at what the stakes are! How was this fair, when Shen Qingqiu doesn’t even have the option to speak!
<< The default free option has been selected. Please abstain from all romantic physical contact for the next twenty-one days. Failure to comply with rules with result in B-point deduction. >>
Wait, the default option was chosen? Didn’t the system just say the offer would expire if not chosen?!
And— what the hell was the rule here? How many b-points was he left with? Shen Qingqiu didn’t even know the B-point system still existed! If Shen Qingqiu could move, he’d be picking at his ear with his pinky finger to make sure he heard right.
<< Please abstain from all romantic and intimate physical contact for the next twenty-one days. The player may not seek gratification from any source. Failure to comply with the rules will result in B-point deduction. Loss of all B-points may result in termination of player profile. >>
“Wait what?” Shen Qingqiu blurts out, just as the tableau unfreezes and he goes crashing to the ground. “Termination?! Get back here, you devil!”
Pain blooms in his chest where the spell had hit, while Luo Binghe lets out an angry roar in the distance. As the poor demonic cultivator gets sliced to ribbons, a screen flashes again above Shen Qingqiu, a screen only he can see as his vision fades out.
<< ‘Simmering Heat: Ever-Longing Summer’ has commenced. Wishing the player utmost luck and fulfillment! ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒ >>
When Shen Qingqiu slowly comes to, the window on the opposite side of his room tells him it’s long past night fall. The lamps lit on the shelves cast a rich golden light light on the soft earthy colours of the room he’s in, the flames flickering here and there. His body aches like it’s been put through a strenuous workout and his head dully throbs behind the brow bone. Shen Qingqiu feels still but a quick stretch of his fingers and toes lets him know he’s all in one piece which, all things said and done, is a pretty good outcome.
He groans and lolls his head to the side to see Luo Binghe kneeling beside his bed. He’s got his arms folded on the thin mattress and has rested his head there, the shadow of his dark lashes fanning over his cheekbones as he exhales in the shallow way that comes with sleep. It is clear that he has been watching over Shen Qingqiu.
A demon lord that has made the world bow down to him before, and he still acts like the sticky shy disciple he once was around his master.
Sometimes.
Feeling a little fond, Shen Qingqiu reaches out to pat Luo Binghe on the head. Immediately, Luo Binghe’s eyes fly open and he scrambles upwards.
“Shizun!” Luo Binghe calls out and Shen Qingqiu winces at the sudden noise. Shen Qingqiu starts to sit up but feels dizzy as he does so, so he aborts the thought halfway and flops back down.
“Binghe…” Shen Qingqiu’s voice rasps as Luo Binghe starts to fret about him. As his head settles down, he sees that Luo Binghe has brought them back to the same cottage they had been whiling the past few days away before trouble had struck.
“Shizun is still injured,” Luo Binghe says, sliding a broad palm under Shen Qingqiu’s back as he helps him sit up. “This disciple did not find anything out of the ordinary, but shizun should still be gentle with himself for the next couple of days.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary, huh?” Shen Qingqiu says dryly, more to himself than anything. He’s sure Luo Binghe was very thorough in checking Shen Qingqiu. He’s also sure that Luo Binghe made spectacular work out of that cultivator after they knocked out Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu is a little sad he missed it, just because of how sick it would have looked.
(As harrowing as these life or death situations are, regardless of what kind of threat they actually pose, sometimes watching these fights can be fucking awesome. Except for this time, because Shen Qingqiu feels like a rather abused rattle drum.)
Luo Binghe clutches his hand, like Shen Qingqiu is made of fragile glass as he looks at him with concern.
“Are you hungry?” Luo Binghe asks. “This disciple has made fresh food every two hours for whenever Shizun would wake up…”
Shen Qingqiu looks at the earnest expression Luo Binghe is wearing, and sighs as some affection blooms in his chest. He’s really just a little sad though, that he missed the final boss battle. Mini-boss battle. Well, that demonic cultivator was more like a mid-level manager at a local firm but still. Despite the worry that inevitably comes, watching Luo Binghe fight is cool as hell.
“This…” Shen Qingqiu has to clear his throat to speak properly. “This master…”
This master vaguely remembers he spoke with that cursed system during the fight. He doesn’t remember what it was, given the fact that he had the shit knocked out of him the moment everything unfroze. He knows they’ve undoubtedly stumbled across another harebrained wife plot, but he’s not feeling any of the burning in his belly or itchiness under his fingers to touch that normally comes with those sorts of storylines. His meridians feel normal, and for all the soreness, he doesn’t feel depleted.
Ah well, he’s sure he’s going to remember. Shen Qingqiu realizes belatedly that he’s been staring at Luo Binghe for a little too long— a grievous mistake on his part, because it’s going to give Luo Binghe all sorts of ideas. By the way that Binghe’s expression is changing, he may already be formulating some.
“...Does my husband want for anything?” Luo Binghe asks quietly, and Shen Qingqiu doesn’t miss the obvious shift in address, nor the subtle shift in tone. Luo Binghe’s voice has an underlying natural richness to it but when he drops it by half an octave, it’s downright luxurious.
It’s Luo Binghe that’s drawing in for a kiss, Shen Qingqiu reasons with himself, even though he’s the one leaning forward. His husband has a magnetic draw to him that’s unmatched and Shen Qingqiu is only a man at the end of the day…
Their lips touch in a kiss that is first tentative, then firm as Shen Qingqiu brings a hand up to hold onto the collar of Luo Binghe’s outer robe. Shen Qingqiu hums as Luo Binghe presses forward, and Luo Binghe immediately gentles the touch. Pleased, Shen Qingqiu tilts his head and—
<< User Alert: Rule Break. Total Deduction, 100 B-Points. 1400 B-Points left. >>
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widen as the system blares above Luo Binghe’s head, flashing red that he’s broken a rule. Suddenly, the words no romantic contact flash in his head like a particularly garish marquee, and Shen Qingqiu immediately shoves Luo Binghe off.
“Shizun?” Luo Binghe looks stricken, probably thinking he had accidentally hurt or displeased Shen Qingqiu. “This disciple is sorr—”
“It’s not you—” Shen Qingqiu blurts out almost immediately as his memory comes rushing back in sharp clarity. The last thing he wanted to do was deliver a blow to Luo Binghe’s ego! Shen Qingqiu still needs a moment to figure out how the hell he’s going to explain it to Luo Binghe. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before finally snapping it shut and letting out a weak, “It’s…”
Shen Qingqiu shoved his wrist out and bemused, Luo Binghe takes it. With care, he presses two fingers against the pale skin.
An ordinary cultivator would not be able to tell. Luo Binghe, however, immediately picks it up. His brows furrow and he presses his fingers to Shen Qingqiu’s wrist again before looking back up at him.
“Shizun,” Luo Binghe frowns. “Your qi…?”
Shen Qingqiu knows that Luo Binghe has felt the minute way in which Shen Qingqiu’s life force has grown weaker. He nods sagely, while scrambling to remember the exact words the system had used with him.
“This master… ahem, this master has been hit with a curse…”
With as much tact and flowery, bull-shitty words that he can squeeze out from his frontal lobe, Shen Qingqiu tells Luo Binghe about the latest magical problem to plague him. If he tells it too plainly, then Luo Binghe might be inspired to resurrect the cultivator in order to kill him again, slower this time.
Luo Binghe looks like he wants to do it anyways, as Shen Qingqiu prudently lets him know that they need to abstain from any intimate, romantic touches. Especially when Shen Qingqiu tells him it includes something as simple as a kiss, and especially when Shen Qingqiu tells him with great gravity that if they fail at it, Shen Qingqiu may die.
“Shizun…” Luo Binghe starts, and Shen Qingqiu gingerly squeezes his hand. Luo Binghe looks greatly displeased— Shen Qingqiu assumes it’s because Xiao Luo will no longer be able to torment Shen Qingqiu endlessly anymore.
Well, at least for the next three weeks.
“Did you forget your words already?” Shen Qingqiu chides gently when Luo Binghe doesn’t continue. Luo Binghe presses his lips in a tight line, and Shen Qingqiu wonders if it’s really weighing that heavily on him. Even beyond Luo Binghe’s desire for affection, Shen Qingqiu knows his protagonist...ah, his protagonist stamina may feel a little unsatisfied. Shen Qingqiu lights a candle for the both of them, before refocusing on the conversation at hand.
“This one is just…” Luo Binghe looks down, and Shen Qingqiu realizes quickly it’s not displeasure at the system’s stupid game itself. No, it’s something else familiar that always makes Shen Qingqiu’s heart ache a little. “I let that cultivator get to you. This husband has failed.”
“Nonsense,” Shen Qingqiu says, sighing. He knows if he tells Luo Binghe that he was doing it to protect him, Luo Binghe will only grow more sombre, so he reaches up and pats his head instead. “It is not the worst curse this master has had. It is not worth seeing Binghe’s face like this either.”
“Shiz—”
“Must you make me suffer more?” Shen Qingqiu says dryly, and Luo Binghe quickly snaps his mouth shut. Shen Qingqiu wonders something for a moment.
Hey, System-dada, is hugging allowed?
<< Is your intention romantic? >>
Shen Qingqiu stares at Luo Binghe for a moment, and Luo Binghe looks up, attentive. Were a third person to see this scene, they would see a (overgrown, demonic) puppy eagerly looking up to a master who’s wearing a very vacant expression. Luo Binghe only sees his beautiful Shizun lost in thought.
... My intention is purely to comfort.
<< ... >>
Have some mercy!
<< ... Player may proceed. >>
With that, Shen Qingqiu reaches forward to wrap his arms around Luo Binghe under the watchful eye of the system. No rule break blares above him, much to his relief. Shen Qingqiu squeezes his arms and Luo Binghe freezes, clearly caught by surprise.
It feels kind of weird, but he feels Luo Binghe relax by a fraction so in the end, it’s worth it.
As they turn down for the night and Luo Binghe continues to dote on Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu’s mind drifts towards the curse.
All in all, it’s not one of the worst spells Shen Qingqiu has been hit with. It’s not an aphrodisiac unlike a majority of the poorly constructed yet frighteningly potent curses in this world, so Shen Qingqiu’s waist and hips can at least catch a break.
Fresh from a bath, the first one in a while that he’s taken on his own, Shen Qingqiu lays down in the bed while Luo Binghe puts out the lamps in the room. He watches as Luo Binghe moves, still resigned in small ways, and wonders how he will manage going almost a month without.
Either way, Shen Qingqiu knows he’s not going to get bullied with crocodile tears and a formidable third leg for at least three weeks now. He can still hug Binghe and pat his head. Shen Qingqiu can still wrap an arm around his waist when Luo Binghe slides into bed and whisper a soft “thank you ” against his ear without losing points, so he indulges in all three.
This curse could even be a good thing, at the end of the day.
Over the past few months, without Shen Qingqiu realizing, their “every three days” became “every two days” before becoming “every day” and ultimately, landing on “every time the mood strikes”. This was largely due to Luo Binghe making another leap in his skills via the diligent study of many new inappropriate books, and partly due to Shen Qingqiu being paid a visit by Mu Qingfang the last time he had returned to Qing Jing Peak.
The initial conversation over tea had been pleasant enough but Mu Qingfang had then coughed and made a weird face before handing over a rather large tin and letting Shen Qingqiu know that he had perfected a formula that may aid him in some of his more intimate troubles. Qian Cao Peak has never bothered itself with worldly concerns but somehow, it has been okay with the amount of money it has made from peddling out this salve to the common folk. Mu Qingfang had told Shen Qingqiu delicately that he had saved some for his fellow peak lords that may benefit from the use of it.
Just the memory of how uncomfortable that meeting was makes Shen Qingqiu shudder. The memory of how frequent his activities have gotten with Luo Binghe less so, but Shen Qingqiu quickly tamps down on any mild remorse that rears its head.
A three week vacation for his body will be fantastic. It may suck that he can’t kiss Luo Binghe for a little while — they’ve both improved in that area, and Shen Qingqiu rather likes it despite his thin face — but the rest of him will finally be spared.
Three weeks is such a short time anyways, especially for two men like them. It really won’t be that hard to keep it in his pants. Shen Qingqiu has done without before, and he’ll do without again.
It’s not a big deal. Really. He’ll be fine.
Yes, he thinks this will be quite all right.