Chapter Text
— b e a t r i c e —
Beatrice watches as Ava leaves, walking backwards towards the door and stumbling a little as she attempts to keep her eyes on Beatrice for as long as possible.
“I’ll see you soon,” Ava calls out with a smile as her hand finds the door handle. She hovers there for a moment, both of them just watching each other. Beatrice almost thinks that Ava is going to walk back towards her. Her grip on the handle slips but suddenly there is a loud “AVA!” from inside the venue. Ava jumps.
“Okay Camila! Geez!” Ava calls back in. She looks at Beatrice one more time and sends a small wave, a giddy smile still planted on her lips. Beatrice lifts her hand in return, with a more subdued smile on her own face.
It feels like the promise of something. Something neither of them are sure of yet.
Ava slips through the door finally and Beatrice slumps back against the bricks, letting her head thump against them lightly.
Beatrice stays there against the outside wall of The Cat’s Cradle for a few extra minutes. She takes in a few stabilizing breaths and attempts to figure out what just happened.
Ava Silva had just kissed her. And Beatrice kissed her back. This whole time Ava hadn’t had a boyfriend. Had she been wanting this just as much as Beatrice had?
Moments from the past few weeks flash through her head.
The quiet moments in the library. Teasing moments in the lab. The arcade.
She laughs quietly when she remembers Camila and Ava’s knowing look after Beatrice complimented Ava on her Guitar Hero skills.
She still can’t figure out why Ava got so cold with her after the movies. Did Ava think that she wasn’t interested since she didn’t make a move? She’ll have to muster up some courage to ask later.
For now, everything is right. Beatrice has no clue what will happen next, but that kiss felt like something. And all she can think about is doing it again. And again.
She takes one more deep breath before pushing off the wall and making her way back into the bar. Ava’s voice fills her ears immediately, along with the clash of drums, the vibrations of the bass, and the slide of the electric guitar.
~ Now Playing : Stupid for You by Waterparks ~
“Hey!
Tell me what you want me to say.
You know I’m stupid for you.”
Beatrice stares at the stage for a few seconds. Ava’s eyes meet hers in a knowing look almost automatically. A smile curls up on the edges of her lips for the next few words of the song.
“Hey!
Can you come-a come out and play?
You know I'm stupid for you.”
Finally, Beatrice breaks their eye contact and starts moving through the venue to find Lilith. When she spots her, she navigates through the crowd clumsily to reach her, muttering apologies that definitely can’t be heard over the music.
When she’s close enough, Lilith practically drags her further away from the stage. Beatrice attempts to voice her complaints as she is manhandled to the bar.
“What the fuck was that ?” Lilith questions roughly, forcing her roommate to sit at one of the stools. Beatrice huffs as she plops onto the stool and looks up at her stern looking roommate.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Beatrice replies innocently, placing her hands in her lap casually. She can feel how red her face still is, a constant buzz of warmth hovering over her.
“Bullshit, Beatrice, you know exactly what I mean” Lilith retorts, moving her hands to her hips in a scolding stance, “What did she say to you out there?”
Beatrice is thankful when they’re interrupted by the bartender. Lilith attempts to wave him off but Beatrice is quicker. “Vodka Sprite for me and a Jack and coke for my angry friend please,” She orders with a smile. Lilith’s frown deepens before the Bartender starts on their drinks.
“Tell me what happened,” Lilith demands again. Beatrice can almost picture smoke billowing out of her ears.
Beatrice sighs, “I’ll tell you later. Can we just enjoy the show?” She gestures towards the stage, catching Ava’s eyes again. It’s as if she’s been watching them. A shiver goes down her back when she realizes that is a very real possibility.
Lilith snaps her out of her trance by shoving her drink into her chest, “Fine. We’ll finish the show. but you will tell me, Young. Every detail.”
Beatrice holds out her pinky, playfully offering to pinky swear on it. Lilith rolls her eyes and turns abruptly, heading back into the crowd.
Beatrice lets out a laugh as she follows behind her.
— a v a —
Ava is well aware of her gaze for the rest of the night. She watches Beatrice for pretty much the entire set, only briefly looking away to interact with her bandmates or dance around the stage.
Songs pass by in a blur.
All she can think about is the kiss. The moment dances around her mind on repeat.
Beatrice’s lips are so soft. Beatrice is a really good kisser.
I really want to kiss Beatrice again.
She almost gets mixed up during one of the songs and has to rein herself in a little more to focus.
-
Soon enough, the band starts to pack up their equipment. Ava had watched Lilith drag Beatrice out of the main doors as soon as the last song ended, which ultimately voided the plan of talking with her after the show.
Ava can admit she’s a little disappointed, but at least it gives her time to settle with her thoughts for a little bit. Because currently, they're out of control. Her brain has not stopped moving since their lips first met.
Ava shakes her head and forces herself to focus on the task at hand. Thinking about Beatrice can come later.
Packing up is usually a pretty easy time for Ava, just wrapping up her mic chord and collapsing her stand. Mary’s process of breaking down her drum set is obviously the most time consuming. So as usual, the band groups around her as she works.
This is usually the time where they’ll talk about the show, what they thought of the set list, what they can do better this time. But Mary speaks up with something that Ava definitely did not expect.
“So Ava,” Mary drags out, “I saw you were pretty distracted during the show.” She raises an eyebrow as she fiddles with one of the cymbals.
“What?” Ava responds, a blush creeping up to her cheeks. Camila is practically vibrating next to her, bouncing on the balls of her feet like she’s about to explode. Michael looks between all of them, confused.
“Don’t play coy,” Mary says, glancing briefly at Camila before narrowing her eyes at Ava, “You were staring at Beatrice the whole time. It took me all night to figure out who it was.”
Ava blinks in surprise, “You know Beatrice?”
“My question is, how do you know Beatrice?” Mary retorts.
“Beatrice is Sexy Nun!” Camila lets out with an excited sound close to a squeal. It’s very obvious that she was attempting to keep her cool this whole time. Michael grows even more confused, if his expression is anything to go by.
Mary’s eyes widen almost comically, “No way… No fucking way! Sexy Nun is Beatrice Young ? You have a crush on Beatrice Young ?”
“Who said anything about a crush?” Ava attempts but Mary rolls her eyes.
“Oh, shut the fuck up, Silva. You’re about as subtle as a brick through a window,” Mary responds. Ava ducks her head shyly instead of trying to deny it any further.
Okay so, Ava does have a crush.
A pretty big one.
A crush that she now knows isn’t unreciprocated.
“Who’s Beatrice?” Michael finally asks, looking out into the now sparse crowd of the bar in an attempt to find this mystery girl.
“Ava’s hot lab partner, Michael,” Camila answers, elbowing him in his side, “Come on, keep up.”
Camila then turns to Ava quickly, not giving Michael any time to react, “So what happened outside?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she leans into Ava’s space. Ava laughs and pushes Camila’s face away from her.
“Nothing,” She replies, her laugh laced in with her words.
“Bullshit, we had to do two songs without you,” Mary says as she settles her snare into its bag, “So spill.”
Ava sighs and hides her face behind her hands before admitting, “We kissed.”
Camila squeals again, loud enough to prompt a few of the straggling bar occupants to look over towards them curiously. Michael gives them an awkward smile and a wave.
“And how was it?” Mary asks, although she’s already smiling as if she knows the answer.
Ava parts her fingers so that one of her eyes can peek out from behind them. Her voice is still muffled by her own hands when she answers, “Really good.”
“Okay, I’m leaving,” Michael says loudly, a look of disgust on his face, “I do not want to hear about my sister’s sexcapades.”
“It wasn’t a sexcapade!” Ava defends, dropping her hands down abruptly.
“Either way,” Michael continues, picking up his guitar case off the floor, “This seems like girl talk. I’ll see you guys on Monday.” He backs away from the other band members and sends them a sort of mock salute before exiting the stage.
The group waves back at him, watching as he leaves before turning back to themselves.
“Well,” Camila drags out, poking Ava’s side playfully, “Come on, don’t hold out. Tell us more.”
“About the kiss?” Ava asks, feeling her face get impossibly hotter.
“About everything,” Camila answers giddily, hopping on the balls of her feet again. Camila almost seems more excited about this than Ava does.
“I’m gonna need a drink before we get through any of that,” Mary intervenes with a huff, standing up to shoulder two of her bags, “Help me take this shit to the van and I’ll buy a round.”
“Drinks on Mary!” Ava whoops before picking up one of the bags as well and skipping away. Camila follows in suit with her own loud whoop.
“ Drink ! One drink, Ava!” Mary calls loudly as she follows.
-
Mary sets down her half drunk glass on the table. They had chosen a spot away from the bar where it was a little quieter. The Cat’s Cradle was mostly empty now other than a few regulars and some stragglers from the concert.
“Okay,” Mary says, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, “Tell us about your girl.”
“My girl,” Ava mocks with a roll of her eyes.
“What would you rather me say? Your friend ?” Mary asks with a raise of her eyebrow. Ava frowns slightly at the implication that she and Beatrice are just friends.
But… Aren’t they? Has that changed now?
“How about your lover ?” Camila bumps Ava’s shoulder with her own. Ava ducks her head with a laugh.
Lover.
That sounds at least a little better than Friend.
“I don’t know what to call her,” Ava says with a shrug, “Just Beatrice, I guess. For now.”
Mary smiles with some sort of knowing look that Ava can’t identify, “Alright, tell us about Just Beatrice.”
Ava fidgets on her stool for a second, staring at her own fingers as they brush against the knuckles of her other hand. She takes a second to form the right words in her head.
“She isn’t like anyone I've ever met before,” Ava starts, “She’s so smart. It’s actually insane. Like she has color coordinated notes and she just magically knows super scientific words. But besides that, she’s also really sweet. Funny. Understanding. She reads poetry, beautiful poetry. If you could only hear those words come out of her mouth. God . And she sends me pictures of this cat that keeps stopping by her place. She asked me for name ideas. And when she’s nervous she freezes and her ears get red before her face does, it’s honestly adorable.”
She chuckles and then pauses for a second, taking in a deep breath. On the exhale, she adds, “And she’s really really pretty.”
When Ava quits her rant she sees her best friends staring at her with happy smiles. Well, Camila’s smile is happy. Mary’s is more akin to content.
“I think I might like her,” Ava says with a soft smile. Camila and Mary give each other a look before looking back towards Ava. “Okay,” Ava amends with another chuckle, holding up her hands in defeat, “I like her.”
She lowers her hands and plays with the bottom hem of her shirt, trying and failing to hide her smile, “I like her a lot.”
“Well, personally, I’m happy for you,” Camila says with a soft smile, placing her hand on Ava’s arm and giving it a squeeze.
“Me too,” Mary agrees, “Anything is better than J.C.” The group all grimaces at his name.
“Plus,” Mary continues, taking another sip from her drink, “Beatrice is good people. We sat next to each other in psychology last year. I got to know her pretty well. She’ll be good for you.”
Camila nods in agreement, “I like her. I like the way you talk about her.” Ava ducks her head for what feels like the 20th time of the night.
“But if she hurts you-” Mary starts.
Ava shakes her head with a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You’ll beat her up.”
“I’ll murder her,” Mary corrects, picking up her glass again and raising it in front of her. Ava and Camila follow with their own glasses, clinking them against each other lightly.
“To Avatrice!” Camila pipes up happily before taking a sip.
Mary pauses before her glass reaches her lips, “What the fuck is an Avatrice?”
— b e a t r i c e —
The cabin of Lilith’s truck is silent all throughout the drive back to their apartment. They haven’t even turned the radio on. Beatrice stares out the window to avoid Lilith’s hardened glances.
Beatrice is not sure what Lilith thinks happened, but she is clearly angry about it. She wonders almost fearfully when Lilith is going to explode. After what feels like an hour, but is realistically closer to 15 minutes, they finally pull into the parking garage.
Beatrice is eager to exit the truck as quickly as she can. But just as her hand touches the handle, she hears the click of the car locks. She pulls the handle once just to make sure and sighs when the door doesn’t budge.
They both know how easily Beatrice could unlock the door herself, but instead she turns in her seat to face Lilith.
“Okay, let’s talk about it,” Beatrice acquiesces.
Lilith nods, “yes, let’s.” She turns towards Beatrice as well, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“Tell me what happened outside,” she demands, “and don’t even think about lying to me Beatrice because-“
“We kissed,” Beatrice interrupts unceremoniously.
Lilith closes her mouth and opens it again as if to say something, before shutting it once more. It’s a strange thing, to see Lilith somewhat lost for words.
“You what?” Lilith finally says.
“Well, actually she kissed me ,” Beatrice clarifies.
There are another few moments of silence. Lilith’s eyes look between Beatrice’s, seemingly searching for something.
“And you’re okay with that? You’re happy about it?” Lilith asks angrily, “Beatrice, this is going to fuck you over!”
“No, Lilith, listen-“
“No, you listen!” Lilith interrupts, “I told you this would hurt you. Did I not? And it might feel good now because you kissed and I guess it was nice or something judging by the weird energy you have going on.”
She gestures up and down Beatrice’s body before continuing, “but this will come back to bite you. You both seem to have forgotten about her boyfriend .”
“There isn’t one,” Beatrice says quietly, a sort of embarrassed look on her face.
“What?” Lilith sputters in return, “What are you talking about?”
“She doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Beatrice responds.
Another long moment of silence settles over the pair. Beatrice taps her foot nervously in its place on the floorboard of the truck. She stares at it intently, prepared for some sort of scolding.
Suddenly, a breathy sound fills the air from the driver’s side. Beatrice looks up towards Lilith and sees her also looking away, her shoulders shaking while her hand covers her mouth. Short bursts of air are exiting from her nose, as if she’s- she’s-
“Are you laughing ?” Beatrice asks, her tone somewhere between confused and offended.
This prompts Lilith to drop her hand and let out an actual laugh, though still subdued. “For weeks,” she starts between her chuckles, “You’ve been attempting to snuff out your feelings for someone because she has a boyfriend. And now you’re telling me, she hasn’t had a boyfriend at all? You went on blind dates and everything, but the whole time she’d been pining after you as well?”
Beatrice feels her shoulders lose their tension as Lilith laughs through her words. She lets out her own short breath of a laugh. A calming sigh leaves her lips and a small smile finds its way onto her face.
“Well, I never did ask her if she was single,” Beatrice reasons, attempting to justify the weeks of back and forth between them.
“That’s what makes it funny,” Lilith stops laughing, but a smile still sits on her lips. She clasps Beatrice’s shoulder with her hand firmly, “Your communication is shit, my friend.”
Beatrice rolls her eyes before meeting Lilith’s gaze again. It’s softer all of a sudden, losing its humor but keeping the same light. Lilith’s hand grips tighter once more on Beatrice's shoulder
She doesn’t need to say anything. Neither of them do.
This is their unspoken understanding and communication at work again.
I'm happy for you. I’m proud of you.
Beatrice’s smile grows and she nods once. An acceptance.
Lilith releases Beatrice’s shoulder and clears her throat slightly awkwardly.
“Yes, well,” she reaches her hand back towards the door and unlocks the truck, “We should get inside.”
Beatrice nods again and pushes her door open.
-
The pair round the building together, finding their way through the winding pathways to the side entrance closest to their apartment.
Lilith fumbles through her pockets to find her keycard for the side door. She curses under her breath as she searches for her wallet.
Just as Beatrice is about to offer her own keycard, she hears a short greeting meow at her feet. She looks down to see the little orange and white tabby stretching as it exits the bush.
“Ahh, hello again,” Beatrice coos as she crouches down as she’s done every time before. The cat butts into her hand automatically as she reaches out. Beatrice chuckles lightly.
“What is that?” Lilith asks, her tone still seeping with annoyance as she takes a pause from her search through her many pockets.
“A cat, Lilith. Ever seen one before?” Beatrice responds, looking up at her roommate with a playful smile.
Lilith rolls her eyes and chooses to ignore Beatrice’s jab, “I think I left my wallet in the truck. I’m gonna go grab it, you can head up whenever.”
Beatrice nods and turns her attention back to the (still nameless cat). Speaking of…
She pulls out her phone as Lilith walks away. She debates for a few seconds before turning to the front facing camera and leaning towards the cat. In response, he pushes his own head against her face. Beatrice laughs as she takes the picture.
— a v a —
Camila and Ava wave as Mary’s van pulls out of the parking lot of the bar, before turning to Camila’s car and swinging themselves in.
“McDonald’s?” Camila asks, wiggling in the driver’s seat a little bit as she starts up the car.
“Obviously,” Ava answers with a smile as she leans back her seat a tiny bit. McDonald’s after a gig has been their own personal ritual.
As Camila switches the car into reverse, Ava’s phone buzzes in her pocket. She takes it out probably way too enthusiastically, judging by the way Camila laughs at her openly.
“Shut up!” Ava says with a laugh as she fumbles to unlock her phone.
Bea :) : He still needs a name, you know.
Ava stares at the attached photo, her smile fading into something else. Something a little more serious but still with the same tinges of happiness. A feeling rises in her stomach and gets lodged in her throat.
It’s a feeling she’s become more comfortable with in the last few weeks, but still feels foreign.
The picture itself is nothing too special. Just Beatrice leaned down next to the same orange and white cat from before. What causes her breath to catch and her heartrate to pick up is the smile plastered on the other girl’s face while it’s scrunched against the cat’s.
Beatrice has never sent her a selfie before. Ava wonders if it would be weird to make this one her phone background. Probably.
Camila leans over her phone in an attempt to look at whatever Ava’s staring at as she drives
“Hey!” Ava hides her screen away, tucking herself towards the door of the car with a small smile, “Eyes on the road!”
Camila laughs and straightens herself back up. Ava rolls her eyes and starts typing.
Me : how about
Me : nacho?
Me : wait no
Me : egg
Bea :) : Egg? Really?
Me : WHAT? he’s egg colored!!!
Me : WAIT
Me : IVE GOT IT
Me : Macaroni. Mac for short
Bea :) : Macaroni.
Bea :) : I like it.
Me :
I like youMe : me too :)
Three dots pop up and disappear a few times on Ava’s screen.
Ava sighs as she leans her head back against the headrest, placing her phone on her chest. After a few minutes, Camila pulls into the McDonald’s drive through.
As Camila rattles off their order with practiced ease, another notification finally comes in. Ava lifts her phone up to read it.
Bea :) : Are we still meeting tomorrow for the project?
Bea :) : In the lab?
Me : I wouldnt miss it :)
Bea :) : Good.
The dots pop up and leave again. Only once this time before the text comes in.
Bea :) : I’m looking forward to it.
Bea :) : See you then, Ava.
Me : see you tomorrow bea
She hesitates for a moment before sending one last message.
Me : <3