she's driving me crazy (but i'm into it)

by WalkTheGalaxy

Summary:

“can you guys play my favorite this time?”

Mary scoffs, “your favorite changes every other week, pretty boy.” This earns a glare from Michael as he picks his head up. Mary returns it before both of their faces turn into teasing smiles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighs dramatically as he flops his head back down, “Misery Business then.”

---

Ava is in a garage band and Beatrice definitely is not attracted to her.

Chapter 1: The Ground Work

— a v a —

“Fuck, Mary’s gonna kill me,” Ava mutters to herself as she pushes through the crowd around her.

The 3pm World History class she had enrolled in purely out of obligation had run longer than expected, ending at 5:25 rather than the usual 5:00. That gives her exactly 5 minutes to get to her car and drive to Mary’s house for their 5:30 band practice.

If her calculations are correct, it’s a 5 minute walk to her car (if she forgoes her usual after class snack stop, which would be crime… so make it a 7 minute walk) and a 15 minute drive to Mary’s house. That would make her roughly 17 minutes late. Ava is briefly proud of herself for her quick math before dread falls over her again. Mary is going to kill her.

The walk through the building is brisk. Ava stops at a snack machine just before she leaves, cursing as it refuses her crumpled up dollar multiple times. Once it begrudgingly accepts, she presses a few buttons and grabs her reward from the slot below.

When Ava finally steps out into the parking lot, she pauses for a second. Memory isn’t her strong suit and it certainly isn’t serving her now as she attempts to remember which aisle she parked on. She clicks a button on her car keys a couple times, listening for the chirp of an alarm in the distance.

Once she zeros in on it, she rushes into her car, tossing her backpack in the backseat before clicking her seatbelt. Her old red Mazda Protege backs out of the parking spot and Ava shoves an Oreo into her mouth before switching to drive and careening out of the lot.

—

“I’m here!” Ava bursts through the door of the garage loudly at exactly 5:56. If looks could kill, Ava would’ve been dead before she even spoke. Mary stands up angrily from her spot on one of the couches against the wall.

“5:30 Ava, we ALL agreed 5:30,” Mary snaps, pointing one of her drumsticks at Ava before continuing, “not 6:00.” Ava shrugs before replying, “Class ran late. There was truly nothing I could do.” She pouts out her lip a little bit, tilting her head to the side and giving Mary her best puppy dog eyes, “please forgive me, Mary. I swear it won’t happen again.”

The older girl rolls her eyes and mutters a clearly audible, “yeah right,” as she walks towards her drum set, sitting down with a huff and crossing her arms over her chest.

Mary is all bark and only a little bite. She had been around since freshman year of high school, informally assigned the keeper of Ava and Camila. She’s the voice of reason, for the most part, but she comes with a quick fuse. Quick to fight, quick to argue, quick to anger.

She got better when Shannon joined the picture junior year, noticeably softening up around the other girl. It wasn’t long before they started dating. That’s around the same time the band was born. Mary on the drums, Shannon on guitar, Camila on bass and Ava as the lead vocalist.

Mary was gutted when Shannon broke the news that she would have to leave the state for college, having been accepted to her dream school across the country. She was supportive though, wanting the absolute best future for her girlfriend. And honestly, they’ve been doing pretty well with the long distance thing, visiting each other on holiday breaks and keeping close contact through their phones.

Ava finds it admirable, almost romantic, that they can keep their love alive from so far away. She’s pretty sure they’ll be back and better than ever as soon as they get their degrees.

Ava glances back over to the couches, looking over the rest of her friends as they get up from their positions. Camila rushes over and wraps Ava in a tight hug, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. Ava giggles as they break and Camila takes her spot in front of Mary’s drum kit, picking up her bass and taking a few seconds to tune it.

Camila is Ava’s closest friend and the one she’s known the longest. They met when they were only 6, both scared and feeling alone. They had been placed in the same orphanage and bonded pretty quickly after that. They told each other everything, and still do.

They kept in touch even when Camila was adopted shortly after she turned 10. Ava would visit Camila’s place as often as she was allowed. Which was pretty much every day since the sisters at the orphanage honestly couldn’t care less what the kids did.

After school they would spend hours together before Ava would trudge back to the Orphanage.

It was the easiest choice in the world when they decided to move into a little apartment together for college. Being roommates seemed like it was what they were born to do. Ava can’t imagine loving anyone more than she does Camila.

Ava is dragged out of her thoughts as JC pulls her in for a sloppy kiss, wrapping his arm around her shoulders lazily. “Hey babe,” he says with a wide smirk. Ava gives him a tight smile in return, before pushing him lightly to his guitar behind her.

JC came around shortly after Shannon left for college. The band took a bit of a break once classes started up, not sure what to do without their guitarist. Sure, Ava could play, but she wasn’t very confident in her abilities to play and sing at the same time. Mary met JC in one of her classes and when the band was mentioned, JC was hooked.

His cool guy mentality got the best of him and being a rock star seemed like the perfect way to have girls crawling at his feet. At Mary’s mention of the band’s break, he offered himself up gladly.

Does Ava like JC? Sure, he’s fine.

Well, no. That's a lie. He’s kind of an asshole. If she had known how he truly acted she never would’ve started hooking up with him about a year ago.

Now she was really only dating him for the band. It’s what everyone expects. Or at least, that’s what she thinks. Not to mention, if they did break up, they couldn’t really continue playing together. And the band means everything to her. So for now, she puts up with him. At least he’s attractive.

A male voice rings out from the couches with a delicately posh accent, “can you guys play my favorite this time?”

Michael has stretched out fully on one of the couches, now that it's empty, his head laying on his hands and his feet kicked over the armrest on the opposite side. He continues, “it feels like it’s been forever.”

Ava had been introduced to Michael in a slightly different way. When she turned 13, any hope for being adopted had been swept from her brain. She was a teenager. Families didn’t want teenagers.

They wanted little kids that weren’t messed up too bad from the system. Kids that weren’t troublemakers yet with too many years of trauma to undo. That wasn’t Ava. She wasn’t meant to have a family. She had Camila, that was enough. She would age out of the system and figure it out from there.

But one day she was plucked out of St. Frances' Orphanage and placed into a huge house, just short of a mansion. One with too many rooms for the amount of people living there.

It was then that she was introduced to Michael Salvius, a boy only a few months older than her. It was then when she was introduced to Jillian Salvius, her new mother.

The first few months with her new family was rough. She closed herself off, like a cat hiding under the bed. Maybe it was because she didn’t feel deserving of any of it. Why would a rich single mother want to adopt some random broken 13 year old? Slowly though, she started to warm up to Jillian and Michael.

Jillian was kind, warm and incredibly loving. Anything either of them needed, she tended to. When Ava showed her interest in art, Jillian had one of the spare rooms changed into a studio. When Ava mentioned that she and her friends were thinking of starting a band, she bought their instruments and offered the house up for practices. She never treated her any less than her biological son.

Michael was nice, funny, and in need of a friend. Ava filled that spot. They bonded over dumb jokes. Climbed trees behind their house even when they were probably too big for the smaller branches. Michael taught Ava how to ride a bike, and blow a bubble with chewing gum, and how to sneak into the kitchen at night without getting caught.

Eventually, he felt just as much of a sibling as Camila. And now, he never misses a practice or a gig or an art show. Ava appreciates and loves him more than she’d ever care to admit.

Mary scoffs, “your favorite changes every other week, pretty boy.” This earns a glare from Michael as he picks his head up. Mary returns it before both of their faces turn into teasing smiles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighs dramatically as he flops his head back down, “Misery Business then.”

Ava smiles as Mary’s drumsticks click together and they start up the song.

~ Now Playing: Misery Business by Paramore ~

I’m in the business of Misery, let’s take it from the top...

 

— b e a t r i c e —

“I’m just saying, the workload for this class has definitely been the worst by far,” Lilith complains as they leave their Calculus 2 class. Beatrice lets out a hum of assumed agreement as they walk, adjusting the strap of her crossbody bag.

Lilith continues, “not to mention the professor is a complete rookie. Did you know it’s her first year teaching? I’ve heard she just copies the lectures of her colleagues. Amateur.” Beatrice hums again, keeping her eyes straight in front of them as they cross the quad.

Arq University’s campus is stunningly beautiful. Huge trees fill empty spaces between the large modern buildings, gravel pathways weaving through. On the outside, the buildings are crisp and white, but surprisingly, the interiors give off more of an academia aesthetic. Warm and inviting.

Beatrice knew that she was meant to attend ArqU as soon as she had stepped onto campus, feeling immediate comfort as she toured the place. The final selling point was the library, which is probably the largest building at the university, with 3 floors worth of books and no shortage of cozy study spots. In fact, there are cozy study spots sprinkled everywhere. The perfect campus for her.

Beatrice inhales deeply as she takes in her surroundings.

Lilith looks over at her curiously, one eyebrow arched, “what’s up with you?” Beatrice looks at her friend finally, seemingly snapping out of some sort of trance, “what?”

Lilith furrows her brow. “You heard me, Young,” she knocks her shoulder into the other girl a little too roughly before adding, “you’ve been acting off since last night.” Beatrice shrugs noncommittally. “Nothing is ‘up’ with me,” she responds, making small air quotes around ‘up’.

Lilith scoffs, “alright, sure.” There are a few moments of silence as they walk, before Lilith speaks up again, “listen, I know you. And I know when something is wrong with you.” She takes a second, expecting a response. When she doesn’t receive one, she practically scowls, “did something happen? Did someone fuck with you? Do I need to kill someone?”

“God, Lilith, no!” Beatrice returns before she lets out a small sigh. She fiddles with her bag strap again for a few seconds. “My parents called me last night,” she admits quietly, staring down at her hands as she folds them in front of her while they walk.

Lilith nods slowly, the anger in her tone subsiding only slightly, “ahh.” She pauses for a moment, trying to pick her next words carefully, “do you want to talk about it?” Beatrice responds immediately, “no.” Lilith nods once and they continue their walk in relative silence.

Lilith and Beatrice had known each other since childhood. Lilith’s parents worked for Beatrice’s, which meant that they met at every party they were forced to attend. They were enrolled in the same private schools. When Beatrice started piano lessons, Lilith started violin lessons, which led to many performances together to impress potential business partners.

In the beginning, they weren’t too fond of each other. They only spoke out of obligation and even when they did it was mostly pleasantries. It was only when they were around 12 when they started to bond, finding comfort in each other, and finding out they were actually pretty similar.

They both held high expectations, both from their parents and themselves. Their personalities meshed well. Beatrice being calculated, studious and calm, and Lilith being calculated, studious and well… not so calm.

Beatrice and Lilith could be akin to a handler and their angry dog. They became inseparable. They didn’t need anyone else as long as they had each other.

This pattern continued through their high school career. Lilith would pick fights and Beatrice would reel her back in. Beatrice would let someone walk all over her and Lilith would put that person in their place. It was a dynamic that worked for them.

And Beatrice was and is Lilith’s soft spot.

Lilith was there when Beatrice realized she liked girls. For her first girlfriend. And she was there when Beatrice subsequently got her heart broken. She was there when Beatrice attempted to come out to her parents and was cut off until she admitted the error in her ways. She was Beatrice’s shoulder to cry on when she had to tell her parents that she “recognized her sin” and had “prayed for forgiveness.” When she had to tell them that she, in fact, didn’t like girls at all.

And for Lilith, Beatrice was there when her father passed. When her mother started drinking excessively and shut her out. Lilith practically moved in with her junior year and never really left after that. When it came time to apply for colleges, they applied to the same ones and (unsurprisingly) both got accepted to their first choice.

It was unspoken that they would be roommates in college. It was equally expected from both of them. So they researched apartments near campus together and moved in as soon as they could, reveling in their own space away from their parents.

The family business couldn't be ignored however. To placate her parents, Beatrice took her major in finance, settling her true passion for literature as her minor instead. Lilith, in turn, took her major in marketing, being promised a position of power alongside Beatrice in the YoungTech company. Their friendship was and is easy. They understand each other and everything is unspoken. Mostly.

They finally reach their destination, a quaint coffee shop just outside campus. It’s their usual study/hangout spot, not too busy despite its location and usually pretty quiet. They walk up to the line to order their usual drinks, receiving welcoming smiles from the baristas.

“Same as yesterday, Beatrice?” one of the baristas asks, a small smirk on her lips. She’s leaned up on the counter, arms crossed in front of her chest. Her eyes wander across Beatrice's body unashamedly.

“Yes, Vanilla Chai Latte please. Hot today,” Beatrice responds, handing the barista her card dutifully.

The girl winks and rings her up. “Hot,” her gaze meets Beatrice’s, “got it.”

The barista’s smile widens before she turns to make the drink. Beatrice is painfully unaware that this girl might’ve been flirting with her, as she often is in situations like this. She takes her drink when it’s ready, sending a thankful smile to the barista, who winks at her again before shooing her away, “See you soon, Beatrice.”

Beatrice leaves the counter and Lilith follows close behind.

“You know,” Lilith starts as they sit at their usual table in the corner, directly in front of a large floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, “Lucia has been practically eye-fucking you for the last month. Are you gonna do anything about it?”

“What?” Beatrice’s eyes widen a little bit as she glances back to the counter, where she finds Lucia already looking at her. She averts her eyes quickly. “She- no she has not,” Beatrice stutters, feeling her ears heating up before she brings her cup up to her lips. Lilith raises an eyebrow right before Beatrice continues, “and either way, she isn’t my type.” Lilith rolls her eyes before taking a sip of her drink with a low “mhm.”

It’s been years since Beatrice has gone on a date, Lilith knows this. She knows the last relationship she was in was… bad. And ended even worse. It had kind of ruined the whole love thing for Beatrice. Despite that (or maybe because of that), Lilith has been pushing her to make a move on practically any girl that shows a smidge of interest.

Beatrice isn’t necessarily ready to jump into a relationship. She needs to focus on graduating and studying, not fooling around with some college fling. She needs to move on with her life and start making something of herself. A girlfriend or even a casual hookup could mess all of that up.

At least, that’s what she tells Lilith. And herself.

Beatrice returns her friend’s eye roll before pulling her laptop out of her bag and opening it up in front of her. She starts scrolling through assignments, taking a mental note on which she should start working on first when an email notification pops up on the corner of the screen. She clicks it open immediately.

Good Afternoon Students,

I hope you are all well. I am emailing to inform you that your first quarter projects will be starting up soon. In class tomorrow you will receive your partners. This person will also become your lab partner for the entire semester.

There will be no substitutions or exchanges of partners unless I am given significant reason.

See you all in class tomorrow at 12:00 pm in room 345.

- Professor Vincent

Beatrice hums lightly at the email and Lilith raises her head up from her own laptop. “What was that noise for?” She questions with a raised eyebrow.

“We’re getting our lab partners assigned tomorrow in Biology,” Beatrice replies, leaning back in her chair and trying to hide a smile, “I can only hope they aren't as useless as my Chemistry partner last year.”

“Hey!” Lilith retorts, kicking Beatrice under the table before continuing, “you would’ve failed that class without me.” Beatrice chuckles at the absurdity of that statement, earning a slight smile from Lilith.

“Sure I would’ve,” Beatrice responds, stretching her hands up briefly before beginning her work.

 

— a v a —

Ava waves to her bandmates as she gets in her car to leave Mary’s house. She opens her phone, checks the time (8:00) and immediately dismisses an email notification, instead opening up Spotify to start her favorite playlist.

The music fills the car loudly and Ava taps along with the drums on the steering wheel for a few seconds before backing out of the driveway and heading to her apartment.

~ Now Playing : Fluorescent Adolescent by Arctic Monkeys ~

You used to get it in your fishnets

Now you only get it in your nightdress…

Chapter 2: The Introductions

Summary:

Ava Silva is beaming as she locks eyes with Beatrice, who lowers her hand down slowly. The other girl follows suit then leans over the chair again for what seems like the 6th time to whisper, “small world,” before leaning back into her seat and watching as the rest of the class is paired off.

Beatrice crosses her arms and leans back in her chair slightly, staring up at the ceiling.

God, why have you forsaken me?

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice lets out a quiet sigh as she glances at her watch for the time. 11:55. She had arrived promptly at 11:50 and claimed a seat at the front of the lecture hall, not exactly in the middle of the row, but a few seats off to the right.

Her seating is strategic. From her spot, she has a full view of the professor and the board without distractions, but she doesn’t have to make eye contact with the professor every time he looks up.

Her green spiral notebook lays closed in front of her, settled to the right of her text book. Two sharpened pencils are seated delicately next to it, followed by her favorite pen, a dark green highlighter, a light green highlighter, and a full size eraser (though it looks as though it has never been used).

She adjusts one of the highlighters slightly before leaning back in her chair and pulling out her phone to send a quick text.

Me : Soon I’ll find out if my new lab partner is as incompetent as my last one.

Lilith V. : Fuck you, Young.

Me : You love me.

Lilith V. : doubtful.

Me : You wound me.

Me : In all honesty, I am a bit nervous about this.

Lilith V. : It’ll be fine, Beatrice.

Lilith V. : and if they turn out to be an asshole, I’ll fuck them up for you.

Me : My hero.

Lilith V. : Ugh. you know what, never mind. You’re on your own.

Me : <3

Beatrice smiles briefly and puts her phone back in her pocket. She glances at her watch once again before folding her arms in front of her. 

-

The class starts 4 minutes late. The professor barges through the door and practically slams his bag on the desk. “Open your books to page 149,” he barks out, pushing his glasses up on his face before flipping through his own textbook.

Beatrice is quick to oblige, finding the desired page quickly and settling the book off to the side slightly. She flips to a clean page in her notebook and writes the date neatly at the top. 

The class goes smoothly for the first 20 minutes (well, 16 minutes of actual class time but who is really counting?) until the door squeaks open achingly slow, but not at all quiet. A student is revealed on the other side of the door with a grimace on her face, obviously not expecting or hoping for the loud interruption.

The whole room watches as she attempts to tip toe into the room like nothing happened.

“Ms. Silva, pleasure for you to join us,” Professor Vincent calls out, his chalk having paused on the blackboard. The girl stops in her tracks and opens her mouth to speak, “I-”

“Find a seat, Ms. Silva,” the professor gestures with the chalk to the empty seats.

She closes her mouth dutifully, takes off her leather jacket and shuffles into a spot 2 chairs away from Beatrice, who rolls her eyes with a shake of her head before looking back to the front. 

 

How irresponsible do you have to be to be so late for class?

Does she not have a schedule she has to follow?

I mean it’s not as though she slept in this late, right? It’s a noon class- 

 

“Pssst”

Beatrice is pulled out of her thoughts by a whispered voice beside her. As she looks over, the girl who was late is leaned across the chair next to her. She smiles brightly as Beatrice’s eyes land on her face and whispers, “hi.”

Beatrice doesn't say anything and furrows her brow slightly. She forces herself to not glance at the stranger’s chest as she’s sprawled across the chair next to her. She’s really not sure how successful she is at this task.

If the other girl notices Beatrice’s eyes wandering, she doesn't say anything about it. Instead she asks, ”do you have a pencil I can borrow?” 

Beatrice almost scoffs, but instead tightens her jaw and looks back towards the front.

 

You have got to be kidding me.

 

Beatrice takes a second, long enough to where the other girl starts leaning back, smile fading as she accepts her fate as a pencil-less note taker. Finally, Beatrice exhales out her nose quickly and stiffly holds out one of her pencils for the other girl to take, still staring at the chalkboard.

Immediately, the grin is back on “Ms. Silva's” face.

“Thanks,” she whispers as she leans even further to grab the pencil, tipping over her chair slightly.

Beatrice is very aware of her own gaze for the remainder of the class. While her face is turned forward for the most part, her eyes steal glances to the girl next to her periodically, mostly so her inner dialogue can find more things to complain about. 

 

All she brought to class was a notebook?

She doesn’t even have the textbook with her.

 

A glance.

Beatrice watches as the girl stretches behind her hands behind her back with a silent yawn, causing her cropped band tee to ride up and expose even more of her midriff.

 

And shouldn’t she be wearing something a little less… revealing?

It’s a science class. Doesn't she know we have a lab after this?

 

Beatrice’s eyes trail down to the other girl’s legs. While they're mostly covered by black jeans, the rips in them expose fair amounts of skin.

 

That lack of coverage can’t be safe.

In fact, I believe there is even a rule about it.

 

Another glance.

Beatrice watches as the girl brings her borrowed pencil up to her mouth and taps it against her bottom lip absentmindedly.

 

And who doesn't bring a pencil to class?

Shouldn’t that be a main priority?

 

Again, a glance.

Beatrice watches the girl’s breath slow a little as her head leans on one of her hands. She watches as her eyes flutter closed and stay that way for a moment before her head starts tilting forwards and slips off her hand. She suddenly sits up straighter in her chair with a quick breath. She picks up her pencil again and starts writing something on her paper as if she had been paying attention the whole time.

 

Honestly…

How daft could one be?..

 

The professor closes his book loudly, causing Beatrice to tear her eyes away from the girl a final time. It is only then when she realizes that the notebook page in front of her is mostly empty, containing sparse and messy writing. She practically cringes at the sight.

Her usual notes are neat and organized, bolded with pen when emphasis is needed and highlighted when the information is more important.

These notes, however, were honestly an embarrassment. Beatrice can’t even remember if she had touched her highlighters once.

She closes her notebook with a huff.

“Now,” the professor announces, pulling a paper out of his bag, “before we move to the lab for today, I am going to announce lab partners. As I said in my email last afternoon, no changes to this roster will be made unless absolutely necessary."

Beatrice holds her breath. This is the moment she has been dreading since the email came in the day before.

Professor Vincent continues, “I will call out the names of each pair and those two will raise their hand. Once you’ve found your partner, lower your hand and I will call the next pair.” There is a silence practically buzzing in the room as some students nod their heads while others look around nervously at their potential partners.

He pushes up his glasses on his nose and begins reading off names from the list.

Beatrice can feel her heartbeat pulsing through her ears. Last year she was able to pick her partner. With Lilith being one of her classmates, the choice had been easy.

This time, not only does she not know anyone in the class, she can’t even be the one to decide who she’ll be working with.

She can’t pick who she’ll be spending a great deal of time with.

A few moments go by as the professor calls out names. Occasionally someone is excited about their fate, voices picking up and whispering quietly. But more often, there is resigned silence when someone’s partner is announced.

Finally, she hears “Beatrice Young” and raises her hand with a deep inhale.

 

“and Ava Silva.”

 

Her exhale gets caught in her throat. 

The hand next to her shoots up, confirming Beatrice’s suspicion. Ms. Silva is Ava Silva. Ava Silva is Beatrice’s new lab partner. The same Ava Silva who didn’t bring a pencil to a college lecture. The same Ava Silva who had almost fallen asleep in the class a few minutes before.

The same Ava Silva that ruined Beatrice’s note taking ability.

Ava Silva is beaming as she locks eyes with Beatrice, who lowers her hand down slowly. The other girl follows suit then leans over the chair again for what seems like the 6th time to whisper, “small world,” before leaning back into her seat and watching as the rest of the class is paired off.

Beatrice crosses her arms and leans back in her chair slightly, staring up at the ceiling. 

 

God, why have you forsaken me?

 

— a v a —

Ava unlocks her phone for their short walk towards the lab. Her lab partner, Beatrice (she remembers), is walking only slightly ahead of her, having said a total of ZERO words to Ava in the short time they’ve known each other.

Ava opens up one of her many group chats.

THE GURLS

Me : gUYS you should see my new lab partner for Bio

Me : if i didn’t know better i’d think she was a nun

Me : she hasn’t even talked to me

Me : like she is the most contained person i’ve seen probably ever

Me : I needed a pencil and i leaned over and asked for one and she literally looked at me like i grew wings

Me : puts sister frances to shame

 

Cammy <3 : but does she LOOK like sister frances??? Causeeee

Cammy <3 : i mean, i definitely don't remember her being the hottest nun at the orphanage 

 

Maryyy >:) : did you check out all the sisters at the orphanage Cam?

 

Cammy <3 : HEY! Don’t be gross Mary!

 

Me : ANYWAY

Ava looks up from her phone briefly to look Beatrice up and down as they walk. She’s definitely got one of those academia vibes going on. Her white T-shirt is tucked into light khaki pants that are a little too loose for her, but cinched by a black belt around her waist. It’s brought together by a dark brown overcoat and thick black boots.

It takes Ava only a few seconds to realize that she’s pretty.

 

Really pretty.

 

Me : …

Me : she’d be the hottest nun I’ve ever seen, that's for sure ;)

 

Cammy <3 : WHAT? Take a pic I wanna see!

 

Maryyy >:) : camila no, that’s creepy as hell

Maryyy >:) : actually…

Maryyy >:) : ok fine, one picture

Ava is about to reply when the group reaches their destination. The professor pushes open the doors and takes his spot at the front of the room.

“Everyone pick a table with your partner and that will be your spot for the rest of the semester,” he calls out before fiddling with an overhead projector. Which is… pretty old school considering the smartboard that he has access to.

Ava doesn’t pay too much mind to that, instead she looks over to ask where Beatrice would want to sit. When she turns her head, she finds that the other girl is no longer next to her. 

 

What the fuck?

 

She scans the room and finds that Beatrice has already claimed a table and is studying a few pages of her textbook in front of her. Ava scoffs before she trudges over to her.

 

What is her problem?

 

She sits on the stool next to Beatrice, placing her notebook in front of her and fiddling with her pencil for a few seconds. Beatrice’s pencil.

When Ava realizes that Beatrice isn’t one to engage in conversation, she tries to find something in the room to fill her attention. She skims past boring posters with biology terms that she doesn't care to know. She skims past lab equipment that she’s pretty sure she knows close to nothing about.

The silence is literally killing Ava. She feels the awkwardness fill her stomach and swirl around with the beginnings of anxiety. Her foot starts bouncing against the footrest of the stool she’s sitting on.

She looks to the front of the room where the professor is STILL trying to work the overhead projector. Ava kind of wishes Camila was here to help the poor guy out.

Ava decides this is a perfect opening to get to know the new sexy nun.

“Sooooo, I’m Ava,” she finally introduces herself, holding out her hand to the other girl with her elbow sitting on the table. She is leaned forward so that her counterpart is almost forced to look at her.

Beatrice looks at Ava’s hand skeptically, raising one of her eyebrows before she locks eyes with her, almost like she’s trying to figure her out or search for bad intentions.

Finally, their hands meet in a cordial shake.

“Beatrice Young,” she responds, her voice dry and seemingly uninterested, “pleasure.” 

Ava should be offended at her tone, but all she can think about is how the other girl’s accent runs over her softly and almost soothingly. How warm her hands are, in contrast to the coldness she was expecting. How firm her grip is against Ava’s palm.

Her mouth opens slightly as if she’s going to say something in return, but before she can, Beatrice lets go of her hand and returns her focus to the book in front of her.

Ava rolls her eyes and slouches forwards even more, settling her chin on her hands.

 

Well, that was nice while it lasted.

 

-

Finally, the projector fires up and an instruction page is revealed. Ava has never been more relieved to have something to do as she is in that moment.

Next to her, Beatrice puts away her textbook and straightens in her seat, hands clasped in front of her. Ava watches her for a moment out of the corner of her eye.

Beatrice is stoic. It seems like her focus never wavers. She is clean cut, studious, probably doesn’t get out much. School is her thing and Ava can definitely tell. She wonders if Beatrice has any friends.

For an unknown reason definitely not related to how attractive Ava finds her, she feels a sudden urge to figure out more about Beatrice. To pull her out of her shell and release some of that obvious tension. Maybe she’ll invite her to a show or drag her to a party. 

 

Alright Silva, a bit ambitious.

 

Ava pulls her attention back to the front to listen to the professor drone on about the slides they are supposed to analyze in the lab. She is only half listening but it occupies her mind enough.

After a few minutes, Professor Vincent clasps his hands together loudly and says, “begin.”

Beatrice immediately gets up and retrieves a microscope from the back of the room. Ava stays seated, looking around cluelessly and wondering if she’s meant to do anything.

Beatrice returns and sets the microscope down in front of her before pulling a small box of slides toward herself. She flicks through a couple before she finds the one she's looking for and settles it onto the tray.

After spending a few seconds looking at whatever is on the slide, she writes down a few things on the notebook in front of her before she pushes the microscope over to Ava, who stares at the equipment a little dumbfounded.

Beatrice raises her eyebrow with a slight frown on her face.

Ava realizes she does that a lot. It seems to mean something along the lines of “what the fuck are you doing?” or maybe “are you stupid?”

Ava lets out a small awkward chuckle, “So uhhh what am I supposed to do?”

Beatrice blinks twice before letting out a sigh and explaining simply, “you look at the slide and identify whether the sample is prokaryotic or eukaryotic.”

It’s Ava’s turn to blink a couple times. “Meaning…” Ava trails, waiting for Beatrice to hopefully translate whatever she just said into english.

Beatrice sighs again. Ava notices that she does that a lot as well. She’s starting to wonder if everyone else she meets gets this same treatment. “Determine whether or not it has a membrane-bound nucleus. If it does, it is Eukaryotic. If it doesn’t, it is Prokaryotic.”

Ava has no clue what “membrane-bound” means but she’s been in school long enough to know what a nucleus is. So she nods and looks through the eyepiece of the microscope.

“Membrane-bound nucleus,” Ava mumbles to herself as she squints at the slide, “lookin for a nucleus. Got anything for me pal?”

After a full minute of searching she’s pretty confident she doesn’t see any nucleus. She pulls away from the microscope, looking over at Beatrice who is watching her curiously.

“No nucleus, right?” Ava questions. Beatrice gives a small stiff nod, prompting Ava to continue, “so that means…”

“Prokaryotic,” Beatrice answers before pulling the microscope back to herself and switching over the slide.

This continues for the remainder of the lab, Ava asking for confirmation each time when she pulls away. On the last slide, she’s finally able to remember what they’re called.

“Eukaryotic!” Ava says excitedly as she pulls away, “right?” This time, both of Beatrice’s eyebrows raise. For a second, Ava thinks the other girl might be impressed.

But her face hardens again and she nods once before writing a couple more things down in her notebook. Ava deflates and also starts scribbling in her own notes.

-

3:00 finally rolls around and everyone begins packing up their things and leaving the classroom. Beatrice is quick to sling her bag over her shoulder and start storming out of the room.

“Hey wait!” Ava calls after her, stumbling off of her stool and following after Beatrice.

Beatrice stops and looks at her with that same raised eyebrow. “Your pencil,” Ava holds it out to her.

The pair stands there in silence for a second before Beatrice reaches for the pencil. Before she can grab it, Ava lifts it slightly so that it's just out of reach. “But first,” she grins slyly, “you gotta give me your number.”

“What?” Beatrice practically rears back at that comment, eyes wide. Ava can see a slight blush start building on her cheeks.

 

Cute.

 

“Yeah,” Ava shrugs, “I mean we’re lab partners right? What if we have questions?” At Beatrice’s disbelieving scoff she amends, “okay fine, what if I have questions? We should be able to keep in touch.”

Beatrice seems to think for a second. Ava assumes she’s weighing options in her head, figuring out the perfect plan for this moment.

“Fine, Fine ,” Beatrice resigns, holding out her hand palm up in front of her. Ava tries very hard to contain her excitement as she hands her phone over to Beatrice, who quickly puts in her information. “For school related purposes only,” Beatrice comments seriously as she hands it back over.

Ava straightens her face and gives Beatrice a salute, “you got it, sister.”

She slides her way past Beatrice and leaves the room walking backwards with a small wave.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice stands seemingly frozen for a moment in the nearly empty room, watching the door for longer than necessary.

 

She took my pencil.

 

Notes:

Thanks for reading :D

Let me know what you think!

Chapter 3: The Cat's Cradle

Summary:

“Fine,” Mary speaks out before she pokes him in the chest with a drumstick, “but don’t fuck this up for us. We’re counting on you.”

Ava goes up to her brother and places a gentle hand on his shoulder, “what Mary means to say is that we trust you.” Camila joins them and puts her hand on Michael’s other shoulder with a sweet smile, “yeah, what she said.”

— a v a —

It’s been a total of 3 and a half days since Ava met Beatrice. She has, in this short amount of time, decidedly not used Beatrice’s number for school purposes only. She texts at least once every day. Random things that Beatrice rather quickly shuts down.

Thursday, after class, 6:00pm

Me : hey :)

Me : it’s ava

 

Beatrice Young : Noted.

 

Me : wyd?

She’s left on read. Honestly she expected this one. Ava knew she was in for a little bit of a fight when she asked for her number anyway.

Friday, 1:00pm

Me : did you know

Me : a group of crows is called a murder >:)

 

Beatrice : Yes.

 

Me : okay did you knoooow

Me : a group of lemurs is called a conspiracy :O

 

Beatrice : Yes.

Okay, tough crowd…

Friday, 10:30pm

Me : going out with some friends, wanna come?

Me : you know, get to know each other

 

Beatrice : No.

Beatrice : That is not related to Biology.

Another bust. She’ll try again tomorrow.

 

That night consisted mostly of Ava and Camila dragging Mary around to different frat parties, never settling at one place for long. Her and Camila make one hell of a beer pong team so they take pride in sweeping a bunch of frat guys all night long. 

Saturday, 3:00pm

Me : What are you up to?

 

Beatrice : Why do you keep texting?

 

Me : idk

Me : I wanna get to know you if we have to spend so much time together

 

Saturday, 4:00pm

Me : Beatrice?

Ava has to admit that this specific time that she was left on read hurt a little more than the one before. She really did want to get to know the other girl. Something about her was so different. Interesting. Unique.

But does Beatrice really think Ava is that insufferable?

Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Saturday is another night out!

Sunday, 2:00am

Me : I loked upa finny joke

Me : Y was tha Biolgy techeer so populr?

 

Beatrice : What?

 

Me : cus he ws a FUNGUY

 

Beatrice : Fungi?

 

Me : YEHA

 

Beatrice : Okay, Ava.

Beatrice : Goodnight.

Ava could admit it. That one was definitely her fault. She got just a little bit drunk that night, which was completely Mary’s fault. Ava tries to go one for one with her but Mary can down shots like it’s no one’s business. Ava on the other hand is a bit of a lightweight.

Beatrice at least didn’t say she hated the joke so that feels like a point towards Ava.

-

So fine, Ava hasn’t gotten very far yet with her attempts to coax the other girl out of her shell, but she’ll get there. She can feel it.

Ava steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around herself before she picks up her phone with her free hand and decides to try her luck again.

Me : heyyy sorry about last night

Me : I had a little too much to drink

 

Beatrice : It’s fine.

Ava thinks about leaving the conversation there. That was confirmation that she doesn’t completely despise her after the events of the night before.

But because she’s Ava, she presses her luck just a little bit more.

Me : sooo what are you up to tonight?

Beatrice : Studying, as you should be.

 

Me : but it’s sunday!

Me : the lord’s day or whatever

 

Beatrice : I am perfectly aware. That doesn’t mean I can’t study.

Ava puts her phone down on the bathroom counter, rolling her eyes light-heartedly at Beatrice’s insufferable work ethic.

Right as she starts brushing her teeth, her phone buzzes in its place. She squints at the screen before picking it up and seeing that Beatrice has texted again. She smiles just a little bit.

 

A double text huh? Interesting…

 

Beatrice : Tuesday we get our first quarter project assignment.

 

Me : oh yeah

Me : sooo we should probably set up a study date right?

 

Beatrice : We should set up a meeting to start working on the project, yes.

Beatrice : I would not call it a ‘study date’.

 

Me : fine :/

Me : what day are you thinkin?

 

Beatrice : Does Wednesday night work for you? I have a 6:00 class but I can meet around 7:30?

 

Me : hmmmm, let me check my calendar

Me : see if I can pencil you in

Me : jk that works :)

 

Beatrice : Okay. Meet me at the library then. Second floor.

Ava has never really met anyone like Beatrice before.

Well maybe she has, but she certainly hasn’t gotten their number and texted them regularly.

 

She’s used to texts between Camila, Mary and Michael. Camila is about as chaotic as Ava, which can be a bit much at times, all keyboard smashes and capitalized letters. It’s a wonder they get anything done. Michael’s texts are usually sweet or funny, always wanting to get a laugh out. Mary is probably the closest to Beatrice textwise, although usually with a lot more cursing and a lot less grace.

 

Oh, speak of the devil.

BAND BUDS

Maryyy >:) : Hey fuckers

Maryyy >:) : You all better be on time tonight

Maryyy >:) : Talking to you, Silva

 

Me : hey! what did I do?

 

Maryyy >:) : …

 

Cammy <3 : …

 

Mickey Mouse  : …

 

Me : MICHAEL?? you aren’t even IN the band!

 

Mickey Mouse : I can’t ignore the facts, little sister

Mickey Mouse : Plus, Mary says I’m an honorary member :) <3

 

Me : kiss ass >:(

 

Maryyy >:) : I mean it Ava, tonight is important

Ava knows how important this night is for the band. It’s the biggest show they’ve played yet. It took Mary forever to finally book The Cat’s Cradle and if this gig goes well, the owners had mentioned that they might be willing to compromise on some sort of regular contract, with a couple of shows every week.

Sure, they’ve played at a ton of different local venues. None have been as popular or as reputable as The Cat’s Cradle. Being a regular gig there would be huge. 

Me : I know.

Me : I’ll be there. I promise.

 

Maryyy >:) : good.

Maryyy >:) : JC?

The guitarist doesn’t respond for several minutes. Usually, Ava couldn’t care less. Her boyfriend was usually MIA for a good chunk of time. It isn’t like they really spent much time together outside of practices and occasional hookups.

(Could they be called hookups if they’re dating? That’s what they always feel like.)

This time is different though. Because this time, it’s important. Not just for her, but for all of her closest friends. The people who are supposed to be his friends too.

This could be their big break. What they finally need to get recognized after all their time working in the background. He wouldn’t jeopardize all of that…

Right?

-

Ava finds herself getting even more annoyed as she finishes getting ready for the night.

She goes with a lighter outfit, knowing she’ll start sweating all over the stage if she wears too much. A black crop top is covered with a short sleeve white button down that’s decorated with lines of sheet music and is just a little too big for her. Instead of actually buttoning the shirt (cause who would do something like that) she ties a knot in the front, exposing a small section of her midriff. She tops everything off with black jean shorts and her signature beat up white converse.

At this point, it’s been 45 minutes and JC still hasn’t responded.

Just as she picks up her phone to call and yell at him to get his shit together, a text comes in.

JC : yah i’ll b there

 

— b e a t r i c e —

“Which shirt do you think I should go with for tonight?” Lilith asks as she carries two shirts into the living room, holding them up and looking between each with a scrutinizing look.

Beatrice is very obviously not listening, sitting on the couch with her laptop on her lap in front of her, typing away rather quickly.

“Yes, that looks good,” Beatrice squints at the screen for a second before scrolling a little.

“Beatrice, you didn't even look,” Lilith complains, lowering the hangers down slightly. Beatrice still doesn’t look up, only hums as if agreeing with her roommate.

“Beatrice!”

At this, Beatrice jumps, finally looking up to the other girl, “bloody hell, Lilith!”

“Oh good, you’re listening now,” Lilith is expertly hiding her smug smile, “As I was saying, which shirt?”

She holds them up. One is a black band tee with large red pointy lettering reading ‘Death Wing’ across the chest. The other is also a black tee (Lilith doesn’t wear much other than black) but instead with a devil looking creature outlined in white on the front.

Beatrice sighs and leans back a little bit into the couch, closing her laptop and placing her hands on the top of it lightly. “I don’t know Lilith. They’re both so different,” Beatrice responds, a little less professional at hiding her smile.

“Oh fuck off, just tell me which,” Lilith rolls her eyes. 

Beatrice takes a second to look at the rest of Lilith’s outfit. Dark grey jeans and black boots that ride up to her knee. “The red one,” she decides after a moment of contemplation.

Lilith nods and turns back to her room, leaving the door open as she changes. “Where are you going anyway?” Beatrice calls out, opening her laptop back up.

Lilith calls back, “a concert at The Cat’s Cradle.” She emerges from her bedroom with her shirt changed. “A band I’ve been following is going to be playing, Hope at Last Oath,” she continues, adjusting a couple of bracelets on her wrist, “the lead singer is excessive but overall they’re decent. And the bassist is a smokeshow. You should come.”

“I’m busy,” Beatrice returns, gesturing to her laptop in front of her.

Lilith often offers for Beatrice to go out with her, usually to a dive bar or rarely to a dinner with other classmates. Beatrice always denies, preferring to stay in with whatever she can excuse herself with. Sometimes it’s a book that she just picked up and needs to get started on, other times she’s just tired and needs to rest. Most of the time, however, she blames homework or studying on her absence from any type of social life.

“Right,” Lilith says with an eye roll, “well, I’m leaving.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Beatrice comments as Lilith walks to the front door of their apartment.

“That would be a very very sad night, Beatrice,” Lilith responds before leaving and clicking the door shut behind her. Beatrice lets out a small chuckle.

-

After another 30 minutes of studying, Beatrice leans back again on the couch, tapping on the armrest a couple times before she sets her laptop to the side and stands up. She wanders over to the bookshelf in the corner and pulls out the first The Lord of the Rings book, running her hand over the front cover to remove any dust. She takes exceptional care of her books so the lack of said dust is obvious.

Of course, she’s read this specific series a hundred times over but she’s in desperate need of new books, so a reread will have to suffice. Her favorite classic is always a sure pick when she’s in need of a relaxation session.

Beatrice stashes her laptop away before settling back into the couch and opening the front cover delicately.

 

— a v a —

“Why isn’t he here yet? We go on in 15 minutes!” Mary exclaims, pacing back and forth backstage.

Ava is fidgeting nervously with one of her bracelets, peeking her head around the corner at the crowded bar. They’ve been waiting close to an hour for JC to show up and he’s nowhere to be found. He didn’t show up for the sound check or the last minute rehearsal they had set up.

Camila takes her phone off of her ear, “he hasn’t picked up, It’s just going straight to voicemail now.”

“Motherfucker!” Mary exclaims again, hitting a water bottle to the ground with one of her drumsticks, “I swear I’m gonna fucking kill that idiot. Where the fuck is he?”

Mary’s pacing only stops when Michael jogs up to the group, out of breath. He puts his hands on his knees and takes a second to compose himself before straightening up a bit.

“He wasn’t at his place or Mary’s,” he sputters while still trying to catch his breath, “I even checked Ava and Cam’s place.”

“What are we gonna do? Do we back out?” Ava asks frantically, looking between Mary and Cam, “I mean, obviously that he’s not gonna show.”

“We can’t just back out ,” Mary responds, exasperated, “you all know how long it took to book this place. We can’t give up this opportunity.”

Camila pipes up now, “right, but we don’t have a guitarist. What are we supposed to do?”

-

After a few minutes more of Mary pacing and Camila calling JC to no avail, Ava sighs and says, “Worst case, I can play for just tonight but I’m really out of practice. My vocals will probably suffer for it. We’ll be nowhere near as good as we are with JC.”

Mary and Camila both nod slowly in contemplation. Just as Ava starts moving to grab one of the guitars to start tuning it, Michael speaks up.

“I have an idea but I don’t know how much you all will like it,” he is looking down at his hands as they fold over each other.

“Spit it out, pretty boy,” Mary chides when Michael doesn't immediately continue.

He takes another second, and finally says, “I could play.”

The band members are quiet, staring as if the blonde kid had grown horns. Michael had only played with them a few times when JC couldn’t (or didn’t want to) show up to a practice. He strummed quietly and simply each time. Even then, it’s been a while since Michael has played in front of them. 

“I’m at every practice!” he continues when he’s sure the girls won't agree, “I know these songs inside and out. I could play them in my sleep. Honest! We all know Ava won't be at her best if she needs to focus on playing and singing at the same time. And you have to impress tonight, especially you, Ava.” He gestures to the singer with his hand.

Ava hums in agreement, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Mary taps her drumstick against her leg, a nervous tic she’s developed.

“Just let me do this,” Michael practically begs, “let me help.”

Ava, Camila and Mary all glance at each other, almost telepathically communicating and all nod once in agreement.

“Fine,” Mary speaks out before she pokes him in the chest with a drumstick, “but don’t fuck this up for us. We’re counting on you.”

Ava goes up to her brother and places a gentle hand on his shoulder, “what Mary means to say is that we trust you.” Camila joins them and puts her hand on Michael’s other shoulder with a sweet smile, “yeah, what she said.”

Ava looks to each of her band members (plus Michael and minus JC) and grins, “let’s do this.”

-

They step up on the stage, Ava gripping her microphone anxiously and looking behind her at Mary, who nods at the singer encouragingly.

Ava takes a breath before looking out to the crowd around her. It’s a full house and people are clapping loudly already as the band settles on the stage.

“Hey everybody. What a crowd tonight!” Ava calls out, the cheering surges a bit. She waits for the sound to die down before she continues, “we are Hope at Last Oath. Let’s fucking go!”

As the music starts up, Ava pulls the mic off its stand and jumps around the stage.

 

~ Now Playing : Brutal by Olivia Rodrigo ~

 

I’m so insecure, I think

 

That i’ll die before I drink

 

And I'm so caught up in the news

 

Of who likes me, and who hates you

 

Ava can’t even tell the difference in their playing now. They sound just as good as they have in every rehearsal. Michael is playing strong and strumming the perfect chords. As Ava looks over to him with a smile, she can even see that he surprisingly has a good stage presence, interacting with the crowd a little bit.

 

And I'm so tired that I might

 

Quit my job, start a new life

 

And they'd all be so disappointed

 

'Cause who am I, if not exploited?

 

As the music picks up even more, Ava’s movements increase. She thrashes around the stage, never standing in one place for very long.

It’s almost astonishing how she seems to never run out of breath.

 

All I did was try my best

 

This the kind of thanks I get?

 

Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)

 

Ava glances at Camila briefly with her eyebrows raised slightly. They both know what it means.

This is going so fucking well.

Camila winks in return. Ava turns back to the front and continues dancing around.

 

They say these are the golden years

 

But I wish I could disappear

 

Ego crush is so severe

 

Ava leans on the mic stand dramatically as if she’s winded, letting the stand tilt to the side slightly against her weight.

 

God, it's brutal out here…

 

— l i l i t h —

Lilith arrives home late, around 2:00 am. She takes off her shoes at the door and moves towards her room. She had a bit to drink but is amazing at holding her alcohol, a passerby wouldn’t even be able to tell she drank anything at all.

As she passes the living room, she notices the lamp is still glowing dimly on one of the end tables. Lilith’s brow furrows as she walks towards it. Beatrice isn’t one to leave any lights on. She’s too meticulous and -

Her gaze softens a little bit as she rounds the couch and finds Beatrice sleeping soundly, a book dropped on her chest. Lilith wonders how long she has been like this. Judging by how far she had gotten in the book, she hasn’t been asleep for very long.

What she does next, she will never admit to anyone. She might even deny it to Beatrice herself if she asks about it in the morning. 

Lilith delicately pulls the book out of Beatrice’s hand and sets it on the coffee table, before grabbing one of their large throw blankets from the closet and draping it over her roommate. She even thinks about tucking her in, but this is already too much. Anything more would be an even worse break of character.

She cracks a surprisingly fond smile as Beatrice cuddles into the blanket with a soft sigh.

Lilith turns to walk towards her room again, but stops when Beatrice flips over and snuggles deeper into the couch.

“Night Lil,” Beatrice mumbles groggily before another sigh escapes her lips.

 

Busted.

 

“Goodnight, Bea.”

 

Notes:

Soooooo what do we thiiiink?

Chapter 4: The Library

Summary:

“The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.”

“Oh! she was the gay one right?” Ava asks with a smile. Beatrice goes rigid in her seat for a moment. Ava suddenly questions every assumption she has ever made.

— a v a —

It’s the day after the concert at The Cat’s Cradle. It had gone surprisingly well the night before. The owners had been amazed at the turnout and the hype of the crowd. Ticket sales skyrocketed and drinks sold like crazy all night.

After the show, one of the owners pulled the band aside offstage. He introduced himself as Mr. Duretti as he shook each of their hands enthusiastically. He took no time at all to offer them a regular spot on their band rotation.

The group had agreed eagerly, absolutely beaming with the opportunity.

However, they still had the very obvious problem at hand. JC hadn’t called back or even acknowledged the fact that he had missed their gig. The closest he had gotten was sending “ok” when Mary called for a band meeting before their practice. 

-

So now, they’re sitting in a circle in Mary’s garage. Ava is sitting next to Camila on one of the couches with one of her knees pulled up to her chest. Mary is on her drum stool which she’s pulled over to the group. Michael is sitting on the far end of the other couch, mostly there for moral support. Unsurprisingly, JC is late.

Just as Mary opens her mouth to say something, JC bursts through the door, taking big breaths as he half jogs in.

“Look, I know what you’re all going to say-” JC starts.

“No, fuck that shit, JC!” Mary interrupts, standing up from her stool abruptly. She meets JC in the middle of the room before he can sit down and pushes him roughly, “What the fuck was that? You left us high and dry last night!”

“Let me explain-” JC tries again, exasperated.

“What is there to explain, dude?” Camila scoffs from her spot on the couch, her tone accusatory and obviously hurt. Her arms are crossed over her chest. It’s a rare sight, to see Camila get angry over anything, and it makes Ava even more upset with the situation.

Ava stays quiet though, fidgeting with the inside seam on her pant leg and avoiding looking up at her boyfriend.

“We needed you,” Camila added, furrowing her brow as she stared JC down.

JC sighs and hangs his head, “I know. I’m sorry.” He sounds dejected, almost apologetic, “Can I speak now?”

Mary rolls her eyes and moves back to her seat, plopping down and pulling her foot up to rest on top of her other knee. “You’ve got 5 minutes to tell us why we should even consider forgiving you,” Mary says seriously.

Ava finally looks up at JC, who is staring at her with guilt in his eyes as he sits on the other end of her couch.

“I fucked up, I know that,” JC starts, pulls his eyes from Ava to his hands in front of him, “I went to a party before the gig. It was crazy. Too crazy. I was absolutely wasted. I knew if I showed up I would just fuck up the concert. So I didn’t go.”

“And instead of telling us that you just left us in the dark?” Mary countered, obviously not satisfied with his explanation.

“To be completely honest with you, I don’t think I had the mental capacity to think that far ahead,” JC answers with a shrug, “and today I wanted to talk to you about it in person.”

“Where were you?” Ava finally speaks, her jaw is set as she looks at him squarely. He fidgets with his own hands a little bit before answering, “A friend’s place downtown. Randall’s.”

Ava rolls her eyes with a scoff and shakes her head slightly. Of course she knew about Randall’s parties. They’re famous for being entirely too much. No one leaves the place without some sort of vomit stain to prove it.

“It was supposed to be a small get together, I promise!” JC adds frantically, “It got out of hand.”

He takes a moment, looking at all of them in turn before he continues, “Look, I’m really sorry. I know I fucked up and I was shitty, but it won’t happen again. I’ll be here for every practice and I’ll go to every show. Hell, I’ll be early for every show. What do you say?”

Mary and Camila exchange glances before looking at Ava, who shrugs with a slight frown on her face. Michael is sitting on the other couch practically glaring daggers at JC. He hasn’t said a word but Ava can tell he’s pissed.

Mary rubs both of her temples with one hand before standing up and putting her pointer finger in JC’s face. “We’re going to let this slide one time, asshole,” she says, “But if it happens again, you’re out. And I mean it.”

JC lets out a relieved sigh before nodding once.

-

The practice goes by fine. No one really talks much but the music still sounds good and that’s the important part.

After they decide to call it a night, Ava attempts to flee rather quickly. She grabs her bag off the floor near the couch before shouldering through the door. She’s acutely aware of someone following after her but she attempts to ignore it, trying to get to her car as fast as possible.

She has a feeling that JC is following her, and she doesn’t really want to talk to him right now.

“Ava”

 

Ahh speak of the devil and he shall appear. Or something like that.

 

JC grabs her arm to stop her from opening her car door. Ava glares at him and he lets go surprisingly quickly.

“Babe, please,” JC says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“ Don’t call me that,” Ava retorts, holding up one of her fingers harshly.

“Okay,” he responds, holding his hands up as if in surrender, “Can we just talk please?”

“What is there to talk about JC?” Ava returns, crossing her arms and leaning against her car door.

“Well obviously you’re still mad at me,” JC scoffs, “I apologized! What else do you want?”

“Why did you go to Randall's?” Ava questions sharply.

JC seems taken aback by the question. He opens his mouth then closes it. Ava takes this time to ask again slower, “Why did you go to Randall’s? You knew about the concert. Why was going to Randall’s more important?”

“It was just supposed to be a small get toget-”

“God, that’s bullshit JC, and you know it,” she practically yells.

JC sighs and attempts to take one of Ava’s hands. She begrudgingly lets him, not without an annoyed roll of her eyes.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t mean anything by it. I fucked up and I apologized. Can we just forget about it?” Jc is practically begging.

Ava looks up at the sky, her jaw set.

JC takes her other hand now too, holding both of them against his chest, “Come on. What if I buy you whatever food you want and we can go back to my place and watch a movie?”

Ava is quiet for a second before she sighs and nods, “Okay, fine.” JC smiles before kissing her purposefully, sloppy against her lips. Rough but familiar.

“Good,” JC says as he breaks away, “Go get whatever you need from your apartment. I’ll go pick up food and take it to my place. See you then, babe.”

As JC jogs to his car, Ava leans her head back against her own and closes her eyes firmly.

The sound of footsteps approaching her makes her open one eye. Camila joins Ava’s side, pressing her back against the car door.

Ava sighs and squeezes both of her eyes shut again. They stand there quietly for a few moments.

“Do you want him out of the band?” Camila finally asks softly. This causes Ava to open her eyes and tilt her head to look at her best friend.

“Do you?” Ava asks in response. Camila shrugs, “I don’t want him around if you don’t. Mary agrees, we just talked about it.” She gestures towards where Mary is standing on the front patio. Michael is standing next to her with his arms crossed, watching as JC’s car pulls away.

When Ava doesn’t respond, Camila continues, “We have your back with this. You know that I’ll choose you no matter what. You don’t have to be with him just for the band’s sake.” She pauses for a second to settle her hand on Ava’s shoulder, “We can find someone else.”

“We’ll be fine, it’s not a huge deal. Plus, we need him,” Ava says, “It’ll be fine.”

Camila lets out a dejected breath, obviously not very satisfied with her answer, “Fine. But if it ever isn’t, let us know. Okay?” Ava smiles weakly as Camila squeezes her arm reassuringly before heading towards her own car.

Michael is the next one to approach Ava. “Whatever you’re going to say, I don’t wanna hear it,” Ava says, opening her car door.

Michael grabs the edge of the door as it opens to hold it in place, “I don’t trust him.” His voice is low and serious. Michael isn’t usually like this. Ava raises one of her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” he responds, shaking his head, “He’s hiding something. I can feel it.”

Ava hums thoughtfully before moving to sit in her car. Michael leans over the top of the door, “Just think about it. Drive safe.”

“I will,” Ava responds. Michael shuts the door after her, taps his palm against the roof of the car twice and then waves as Ava backs out of the driveway.

-

Later, Ava and JC are on the couch watching some dumb comedy movie, their Chinese food boxes forgotten on the coffee table. Ava feels JC’s hand slide down her arm. He leans closer to her and presses a kiss onto her shoulder. He tries leaning in even more.

“Who was at the party?” Ava asks seriously, turning to look at JC and breaking whatever moment he was trying for.

JC groans. “We’re back to this? I thought we were good?” he replies, obviously annoyed.

“Who was at the party?” she repeats, shifting away from him.

“Just some friends. You want me to name everyone there?” It’s a rhetorical question, Ava knows that.

“I want you to try,” she responds, wrapping her arms up in front of her.

JC sighs and looks up at the ceiling, “Randall obviously, Chanel brought a bunch of her friends, Zori, Hans-”

“Zori was there?” Ava sits up straighter, anger seeping into her voice. Zori is JC’s ex and the one he went to immediately when Ava and JC had a “break” last semester. Ava has never trusted her or how JC acts around her.

JC groans again, “Ava, she’s Chanel’s best friend. Of course she was there. God, when are you going to get over that? I already apologized for that AND for the party the other night. Give me a break!”

Ava scoffs and turns her back to him, focusing once again on the TV. She doesn’t feel like arguing with him anymore, it won’t get them anywhere anyway. This is how it always goes.

JC sighs and runs his hand up and down her back, “look, I'm sorry, just- come on, let’s just forget about all of that stuff.”

Ava doesn’t stop him from kissing down the back of her neck. But for some reason, for the rest of the night she can’t stop thinking about what Michael said after practice.

 

He’s hiding something.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice glances anxiously between her watch and the classroom door. 11:57.

She silently pleads for Ava to be on time today, prays even. When she wasn’t attached in any way to Ava, Beatrice found it easier to dismiss her tardiness. However it’s different now. They’re lab partners. Ava’s failures are now her own.

To be completely fair to the other girl, the professor still isn’t in class. Beatrice wonders if he also makes it a habit to be late. The time hits 11:59 on her watch and Beatrice practically holds her breath as she glances back at the door one last time.

To Beatrice’s relieved surprise, Ava walks through the door chatting with another student, who smiles brightly as he speaks to her. For some reason, Beatrice feels a strange pang in her chest as Ava follows him up the stairs a bit. Beatrice turns back to the front, glancing at her watch once more before opening her notebook in front of her.

She had assumed that Ava would take the same spot as she did last time, a seat away from Beatrice. What a stupid thought. She only sat there last time because she was late. Obviously, she can take whatever spot she wants now, without the same time restraints. Next to the guy she was talking to.

Maybe Beatrice will actually get work done this-

“Good morning,” a whisper comes from next to Beatrice.

Beatrice turns her head quickly to see Ava. Ava who is not taking the spot one seat away from Beatrice, but the one directly next to her. Beatrice lags in her response while Ava settles into her spot. She does have a bag this time and begins to take out a textbook, her notebook and Beatrice’s pencil.

“It’s noon,” Beatrice finally responds.

Ava scoffs as she finishes taking out her supplies, “Well, yeah I guess so, but ‘good noon’ doesn’t sound nearly as good, does it?”

Beatrice furrows her brow, “No, I suppose not.”

Ava chuckles at Beatrice’s intense expression, “I’m kidding, Sister Serious.” She nudges Beatrice’s arm with her elbow teasingly. Beatrice barely moves as Ava touches her, her brow furrowing impossibly farther. Her gaze moves to linger on her own pencil that Ava has set on the desk.

“Oh yeah,” Ava says, following Beatrice’s eyes and picking up the black writing utensil, “I didn’t give you back your pencil.” She turns it and the silvery text ‘B. Young’ etched on one of the sides catches the light. They both stare at it for a second.

“I’m gonna have to ask to borrow it again though,” Ava admits with an obviously fake frown, “at least I was a little more prepared this time, right?”

Beatrice sighs, moving her gaze to catch Ava’s, whose eyes are playfully bright despite her downcast lips, “Right.”

The Professor finally walks in, saving Beatrice from whatever was going to come out of Ava’s mouth next. 12:05.

-

Class goes by surprisingly quick. Beatrice is able to keep her attention mostly to the front of the room.

Okay, yes. Maybe her eyes tend to pull to her right, hovering over Ava every so often. Maybe her hands seem to clam up when she thinks of how close the other girl is to her. Maybe a heat pulls to her ears when Ava catches her looking once and smiles softly before Beatrice quickly looks back towards the chalkboard. Maybe the heat spreads to her cheeks when Ava lets out a breathy chuckle.

But it’s fine .

She’s just not used to people being in her space other than maybe Lilith, especially not willingly. And especially not objectively attractive women. Attractive women who smile at her and steal her pencils and make weird jokes that she doesn’t completely understand.

She’s just not used to it. It’s nothing other than that. Beatrice is sure of it.

Despite her traitorous eyes throughout class, she’s able to actually keep track of her notes this time so Beatrice counts it as a win.

They move to the lab portion of the class and it’s a slightly better situation. However, now it’s Beatrice that catches Ava looking at her. Unlike Beatrice, Ava isn’t one to back down. When Beatrice catches her staring and raises an eyebrow, Ava just gives a small smile.

It would be easier to defend if Ava needed a reason to. She’s just trying to understand the task at hand. Or she’s waiting for further instruction. Or she’s just bored and has nothing else to look at.

The lab today is similar to the one they had a few days ago. Ava takes pride in roughly knowing what she’s supposed to do. Beatrice only has to give her a few instructions and teach a couple of Biology vocabulary words. Luckily, Ava is a quick learner when she has one-on-one attention, it seems.

As the clock nears 2:45, Professor Vincent clears his throat loudly. All of the heads in the room turn to him.

“Well done class. As you all know, today I’ll be announcing your first quarter project. This will be due the week before your mid terms but I strongly suggest you get started as soon as possible.”

Multiple people nod their heads as the professor pulls up a document on the projector and begins explaining some key points.

In Beatrice's opinion, the project should be a piece of cake. Their instructions are to research a reputable biology experiment that has already been performed, write an essay on it, and then recreate the lab on their own. They would have nearly unlimited access to the lab as long as there was no class going on at that time. They are to let the professor and the teacher’s assistant know, sign in and keep everything in order. The TA or professor would be available somewhere in the same wing at all times if needed. At the first break of any of the lab rules, these permissions would be lifted and there would be limited access instead, making their lives much, much harder.

Before midterms, each pair will present their findings to the entire class. Including a lab report detailing their own experiment and how it may be different from its predecessor.

Beatrice quickly writes this all down on a clean sheet of paper in her notebook while Ava snaps a picture of the screen with her phone quickly before stuffing it back in her pocket. Beatrice raises an eyebrow at her and Ava shrugs her shoulders. “What? It’s easier than whatever you’re doing,” she whispers. Beatrice rolls her eyes.

-

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” Ava confirms as everyone begins packing up their materials.

“Correct,” Beatrice replies with a nod, delicately placing her notebook in her bag.

“At the Library?” Ava continues. Beatrice looks at her curiously for a moment, her hands pausing in their tracks. 

“Yes, Ava,” she replies, turning her attention back to her bag, “We’re meeting tomorrow, at the library, at 7:30.”

“Cool, see you then!” Ava practically skips out the room and once again Beatrice is left alone and confused as she walks out of the lab.

 

— a v a —

“No really, Cam,” Ava says as she lays sprawled across one half of the sectional that night, “you should have heard her. She was all like ‘Yes, Ava’.”

Ava’s attempt at Beatrice’s accent is lackluster but she gives herself a mental pat on the back for even trying.

Camila laughs as she scrolls through shows on the TV, “Yeah, sounds real riveting. Did she say anything else or is it just your name that’s getting you all hot and bothered? I mean, you don’t react at all when I say your name.” Camila pouts dramatically and Ava throws a pillow at her playfully which is dodged with expert timing. Camila is rather used to Ava’s antics.

“I’m not bothered ,” Ava replies before sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest, “I don’t know. I think she thinks that I’m an idiot or something. I mean, I’m definitely not as smart as her. She’s like a genius prodigy”

Ava pauses thoughtfully, pulling at a loose string on the leg of her sweatpants. Of course Beatrice thinks she’s dumb. She could probably write this research paper in her sleep. Ava’s probably just pulling her down and the project is going to go to shit because of her.

“Hey, don’t do that” Camila pulls her out of her own thoughts. At some point the other girl had scooted next to Ava. She nudges Ava’s shoulder with her own. “How about, instead of moping about it, show her that you can do it. Show her that super smart and awesome and capable Ava I know and love.”

Ava smiles slightly and nudges Camila in return. “I am pretty awesome, aren’t I?” Ava’s smile widens as she tries to suppress a giggle. Camila shoves her with a smile and Ava falls back onto her side dramatically with a full blown laugh.

A few minutes pass as they watch the TV in comfortable silence.

“Thanks, Cam,” Ava says quietly.

“Anytime.”

-

Ava sighs as she looks up at the looming building that is The Library . She’s been hovering around campus since her class ended at 5:00. She checks the time on her phone and it lights up 7:05. Hmm, maybe Beatrice would appreciate her early arrival. 

Ava had been trying to keep herself occupied for the last 2 hours. She had gotten a slice of pizza from the cafeteria (which actually wasn't half bad. Pepperoni. Stuffed crust) and found a spot in one of the computer labs to edit a couple of pictures she took in her photography class earlier that day.

It was all going by so slowly. So after hours of boredom, she decided to make her trek to the library.

As Ava walks through the double doors, she realizes that she can’t remember a single time she has ever been in this building. She must’ve come in on her tour but she can’t remember any details about it. Most of her reading is done online, so she’s never really had a reason to find herself here.

Despite her lack of familiarity, Ava finds the huge spiral staircase rather quickly (seeing as it’s right in the middle of the huge space) and starts her ascent.

It’s quiet here, Ava realizes as she roams for a second in an attempt to find a place to settle in.

 

Obviously.

It’s a Library, Ava. What did you expect?

 

She rolls her eyes at herself and continues to look through the tall rows of bookshelves to find a decent spot.

She does a double take as she sees a familiar face tucked into one of the tables in a nook in the shelving. Or moreover, she sees a familiar body… Okay, that sounds wrong.

She sees… Well… She sees someone she knows. Beatrice is here already, a book pulled up to her face.

“Oh,” Ava says out loud without meaning to. Beatrice pulls her eyes up from the book and her eyebrows furrow as she looks from Ava to her watch. Ava takes this look as anger rather than confusion.

“Sorry, am I late?” Ava pulls out her phone, checking the time again, “You said 7:30 right?”

“It’s 7:10,” Beatrice sounds almost surprised, maybe confused. She shakes her head slightly as if snapping herself out of something and adds, “No, sorry. You aren’t late. My class ended early so I figured I would work on some reading while I waited.” She holds up her book to emphasize her point.

“Okay, phew,” Ava wipes at her forehead dramatically before sitting down across from Beatrice at the table, folding her hands in front of her and leaning forward, “What are you reading?”

Beatrice turns her book slightly so that the cover is facing Ava, “The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.”

“Oh! she was the gay one right?” Ava asks with a smile. Beatrice goes rigid in her seat for a moment. Ava suddenly questions every assumption she has ever made.

“Many historians believe she may have had… relations with her sister-in-law, yes. But it has never been confirmed. And most likely never will be,” Beatrice responds, setting her jaw and looking back at the book, “Let me just finish this page and we can get started.”

“Can you read it to me?” Ava says before she even really notices what is coming out of her mouth. Beatrice’s eyes meet hers again and there is almost a stare off between them. Beatrice is trying to figure her out, Ava can feel it.

There is a long pause as Beatrice looks back to the page and Ava slumps in her chair slightly.

 

Of course she wouldn’t read it to me. That was so do dumb. Why would she-

 

“You left me, sweet, two legacies,--

A legacy of love

A Heavenly Father would content,

Had He the offer of;

 

You left me boundaries of pain

Capacious as the sea,

Between eternity and time,

Your consciousness and me.”

 

Beatrice’s voice is barely above a whisper as she reads. Ava’s mouth feels dry when she swallows and she pulls her gaze away from Beatrice’s mouth to her eyes when the poem ends. After a brief second, she completely looks away from Beatrice and focuses on her own fingernail scratching needlessly at a spot on the table.

“What do you think?” Beatrice doesn’t seem to notice Ava’s sudden pullback as she settles a bookmark into the page and sets it aside.

“Sounds pretty sapphic to me,” Ava responds lightheartedly with a shrug, pulling her hand back to lock her fingers in front of her again. Beatrice’s reaction this time is not as intense. In fact, Ava could almost see her relax a little bit.

“Right,” Beatrice breathes in audibly as she clasps her hands together quietly, “Let’s get started.”

 

Notes:

Let me know what you think <3

(also if anyone has recommendations on any tags I should add let me know. Is this a slow burn? It's a slow burn right?)

Chapter 5: The Shopping Episode

Summary:

“Well, what’s the consensus? Is she hot?” Mary questions, pulling a slice from the tray in front of her.

“Devastatingly,” Camilla answers, grabbing a piece for herself and quickly stuffing a bite into her mouth. While still chewing, she continues, “she’s got this brooding dark academia thing going on.” She finally swallows her bite, “it really works for her.”

Notes:

I'm feeling a little bit self conscious about this chapter but I still wanted to get it out on time. So, please let me know what you think!

I had to split it up a bit to be able to put it out today instead of next week. But the next one is a good one so look out next Monday ;)

— b e a t r i c e —

It’s a breezy Saturday afternoon when Beatrice walks through the doors of her favorite bookstore confidently. It’s been a week and a half since Beatrice had met Ava in the Library to figure out the start of their biology project details.

Most of their time since then had been discussing the project (along with other random things) over text. Ava had been too busy for much else. Honestly, so had Beatrice. Regrettably, it's also been about that long since she’s been able to be around this many books.

She inhales deeply as she enters the space, a smile finding its way to her lips. The familiar smell of books, both new and old, fills her senses. This is one of her favorite places on earth.

This store in particular, Cruciform Cabinet, is jam-packed with books, all neatly organized in tight rows. A few tables are scattered around along with some beanbag type lounge chairs.

Constantine, the older woman who runs the store, looks up from her papers near the cash register and smiles warmly at Beatrice, who smiles back and sends a small wave in return. Constantine gets up from her chair and hobbles over in Beatrice’s direction excitedly.

Constantine is from Greece, specifically Santorini. She had moved to The US when she turned 20, looking for a new life to build. Beatrice was told the story one of the first times she entered the store, when the younger woman had commented that she found Constantine’s accent wonderful.

A few trips later, Beatrice came in to buy a beautiful hardback copy of Pride and Prejudice. “Thank you so much for your help, Constantine,” Beatrice said with a smile as she tucked her new book under her arm. The woman waved her hand, shook her head, and returned, “Please poulaki mou, call me Connie.”

Now she scolds Beatrice any time she calls her Constantine. Which happens far less than it used to.

“Beatrice!” Connie greets, pulling the taller girl in for a hug. Beatrice accepts it with her arms dangling awkwardly at her sides. Beatrice isn’t used to contact like this but she gets this greeting every time she walks in the store.

It warms Beatrice up a little bit. To have a place where someone is excited to see her. Where someone pulls her in for a hug and smiles at her just because they are happy to have her around.

Then it hurts her a little bit to think about.

Connie pulls away and grips both of Beatrice’s arms sternly, “It has been too long, where have you been?” Beatrice chuckles and answers, “I’m sorry Connie, the start of the semester has been intense. I’ve been doing a lot of studying and homework.”

Constantine tuts disapprovingly before letting go of Beatrice and putting her hands on her hips. “You work yourself too hard,” Connie shakes her head before she perks up, remembering something, “Ah! I almost forgot. That copy of The House of Seven Gables you wanted finally came in.”

Beatrice’s eyes light up, “Really?” She’s been waiting for this particular book for a while. She knows it’ll look perfect on her bookshelf and she’s held a sweet spot for Hawthorne ever since they read The Scarlet Letter in secondary school.

If she was any less refined she’d be absolutely giddy with excitement.

Even though Beatrice doesn’t show it, Constantine smiles at her apparently obvious joy. The older woman pats Beatrice’s arm, “Take a look around, we have some newcomers I think you will like. I will go grab your book from the back.”

Beatrice nods once and Connie turns to make her way to the storage room.

Beatrice takes this time to roam around the store. Her fingers skim lightly across the spines of some of the books as she passes them by. There are indeed a few new titles that catch her eye. After a second of debating, she pulls one off the shelf.

After she turns the book over and reads the summary on the back, she flips open the cover and reads the first couple of pages. It’s enough to catch her attention so she tucks it under her arm and browses the other titles.

By the time Constantine returns, Beatrice has grabbed two more books, creating a small stack she balances between her hands. It’ll last her a week, maybe two if she splits them up right.

Connie laughs as she rounds the corner and Beatrice jumps a little. “I left you to your own devices for too long, yes?” the older lady muses before holding out a package.

It’s delicately wrapped in brown butcher's paper, held together by a thin rope that's wound around it multiple times. A small tag with Beatrice’s name is tucked into the paper.

“This one is on the house,” Connie says with a smile. Beatrice’s eyes widen, “No. no, Connie I cannot let you do that.”

“Ah ah,” Connie scolds, lifting up her finger, “I will hear none of it, Beatrice. You are my best customer.” Beatrice still doesn’t look like she’ll take the offer, her lips pulling into a frown. Constantine sweetens the deal, “and my favorite. Please, take it, poulaki. For me.”

Beatrice debates for another moment before sighing and adding the book to her stack. Connie breaks into a bright smile and pats her arm once again, “Good, now let us get the rest of these checked out.”

Beatrice follows the woman with a lighthearted shake of her head.

-

Soon enough, Beatrice is out on the street again, clutching a canvas bag of books in one of her hands. She debates her next destination for a moment. She’d need to get lunch soon. She could stop at her favorite sandwich shop on the way home. That one is an easy decision.

The problem, however, is what to do until then. She glances around at the shops nearby, trying to see if anything strikes her as interesting. Her eyes land on a sign for some sort of clothing store.

Beatrice nods with finality as she starts her short walk to the shop. She’s been meaning to pick up a few new things for her wardrobe. She pulls open the door and is almost knocked down by something falling into her chest.

Beatrice drops her bag with a grunt as she fumbles to catch whatever hit her. Or… whoever?

Her eyes widen as she looks down slightly and recognises the face below her. Ava. She feels her heart stutter a bit.

It seems as though Ava had attempted to open the door with her back, but with it already being open, she fell into Beatrice’s arms clumsily instead.

“AH! I’m sorry,” Ava frantically apologizes as she straightens herself up, pulling out of Beatrice’s grasp. She turns to apologize again, “Are you oka-”

Recognition flashes on Ava’s face, and then something akin to horror, “Beatrice? Oh my god, I'm so sorry.”

Beatrice blinks, confused. “Are you alright?” she questions as she picks up the bag that she had dropped.

 

— a v a —

Ava wants to kick herself. This was probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her. Camila is also staring at her now, maybe even more confused than Beatrice.

“I’m okay,” Ava answers as she straightens out her shirt, running her hands across the front a few times. A man scowls at them as he attempts to enter the store through the door that they’re now crowding. The group adjusts to the side with quiet apologies, now all safely outside the establishment.

“I really am sorry,” Ava repeats as she meets Beatrice’s eyes again.

“It’s alright,” Beatrice responds quickly with a small shake of her head.

Camila looks between them curiously, one of her eyebrows raised. She holds out her hand in front of Beatrice, “I’m Camila, Ava’s roommate. And you are…” Her voice trails off expectedly.

“Beatrice Young,” the taller girl responds, meeting Camila’s hand with a light handshake, “Pleasure.”

“Oh!” Ava says, seeming to snap out of some trance, “Right, I’m sorry. Camila, this is my lab partner Beatrice.”

Realization crosses over Camila’s face. ”Ahh,” Her mouth curls into a small smirk before she looks Beatrice up and down, “I see.”

Ava is going to kill her. She sends her best friend a pointed look before focusing on Beatrice again. The handshake ends and Beatrice stuffs her hand into her pants pocket.

“Soooo, with that super embarrassing moment out of the way,” Ava starts, “What are you up to today?”

“Oh, uh. I picked up a couple of books,” Beatrice answers, holding up her bag for emphasis, “Now I was planning on buying some new clothes. Before I was… interrupted.”

If Ava didn’t know any better, she would think Beatrice was teasing her. The corner of her mouth is barely tilted up.

“Are you making fun of me?” Ava returns, her mouth opens widely with an exaggerated gasp, “Rude!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Beatrice responds, her lip curling up a little farther, “Anyway, I really should be going, I’ll see you in class, Ava.”

She then nods at Camila politely, “Pleasure to meet you, Camila.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Camila responds as Beatrice begins walking back to the door.

Ava watches as she steps away, her shoulders deflate slightly.

“Actually,” Camila calls out, causing Beatrice to stop in her tracks and turn her head back to the pair. Ava turns to Camila as well, eyebrows raised. Camila continues, “We were just about to get lunch. Would you wanna join us when you’re done?”

Beatrice’s eyebrows furrow slightly in contemplation, which Ava recognizes more as Beatrice than the girl who made fun of her just a few seconds ago.

Just as Beatrice opens her mouth to speak, Ava feels an arm wrap around her waist and she tenses.

“Finally found you guys, where have you been?” JC asks, pressing a rough kiss on Ava’s temple. “Oh, uh,” Ava stutters, her eyes flicker to look at JC before focusing back on Beatrice.

Beatrice clears her throat and looks at her watch. “I don’t really have time,” She says, politely declining Camila’s offer, although her tone sounds more tense than before, “Thank you for inviting me. Maybe some other time.”

“Sure, yeah,” Camila agrees with a small smile. Beatrice returns the smile, although much more reserved, and pulls open the door again to enter the store.

“Who was that?” Jc asks as Ava pulls herself away from him.

“Just my lab partner. Camila invited her to lunch,” Ava’s voice raises in pitch at the last part, as she looks over at her best friend again with a stern look. 

Camila shrugs, feigning innocence, “She seemed nice. I just wanted to get to know who’s gonna be taking up so much of my best friend’s time for the next couple weeks. Sue me!”

Ava rolls her eyes and grabs Camila’s arm, half dragging her down the street. “Come on,” Ava says, exasperated. Camila laughs knowingly and JC follows behind them with a confused look on his face.

- 

Camila and Ava make it to the pizza place they had agreed on a few minutes later. JC had left just before they got there, claiming he needed to get some reps in at the gym so he’d be ripped for the gig tonight. Ava honestly couldn’t care less.

Their relationship hadn’t gotten any better since the Zori argument. Shocker.

As they enter, they find Mary already sitting at one of the booths with an uncharacteristically bright smile on her face as she looks at her phone screen. 

Camila plops down dramatically across from Mary and scoots deeper into the booth. “Mary, guess who I just met?” Camila asks excitedly with a cheeky smile. Ava groans and Mary pulls her eyes up from her phone, her smile quickly fades and she’s back to her normal self.

“Who?” Mary asks, raising one of her eyebrows.

“Come on, don’t be a party pooper. Guess!” Camila says.

Mary rolls her eyes, “Jesus reincarnate.”

“Close! Sexy Nun,” Camila practically squeals. Ava rolls her eyes and puts her head in her hands.

“It was so embarrassing, Mary,” Ava mumbles with her hands covering her face, “I literally ran into her.”

“Actually, you could say she fell for her,” Camila wiggles her eyebrows at Mary, “She was caught by a knight in shining armor, like a damsel in distress.” She puts the back of her hand on her forehead and falls onto Ava’s shoulder as if she’s swooning, complete with an exasperated sigh. 

“Oh, quit,” Ava scolds, pushing the other girl off her. Camila laughs as the pizza Mary had ordered arrives at the table.

“Well, what’s the consensus? Is she hot?” Mary questions, pulling a slice from the tray in front of her.

“Devastatingly,” Camilla answers, grabbing a piece for herself and quickly stuffing a bite into her mouth. While still chewing, she continues, “she’s got this brooding dark academia thing going on.” She finally swallows her bite, “it really works for her.”

“You should bring her around to a practice,” Mary says, holding her half eaten slice of pizza out in front of her, “Or invite her to the gig tonight. You keep talking about her and I feel like I’m missing out.”

“It’s not like we’re friends, guys. We’ve only known each other for like 3 weeks, and most of that time is spent sitting silently in a classroom” Ava says with a frown, “And anyway, she tolerates me and that's it.”

Camila scoffs and rolls her eyes, having witnessed them interacting no more than 30 minutes before, “yeah okay, Ava. Keep telling yourself that.”

Ava groans and tosses her crumpled up straw wrapper at Camila, who laughs as it hits her shoulder harmlessly.

“Whatever,” Ava grumbles as she takes another slice of pizza, “She doesn’t like me.”

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice pushes open the door to the sandwich shop as planned, having finished her shopping for the day. As she joins the wait line, she sends Lilith a text.

 

Me : I’m stopping at Lapel’s for lunch. Do you want anything?

Lilith V. : Blackforest ham and swiss on rye.

Lilith V. : Toasted.

Me : Okay. I’ll be home soon.

 

Lilith is Beatrice’s best friend, they are both aware of this as much as they scoff at the idea. They tell each other everything important that happens to them. For some reason unknown to her, Beatrice finds herself wanting to tell Lilith about running into Ava.

Maybe it’s because it was weird to see her outside of campus. Maybe it’s because she keeps thinking about the way her own heartbeat quickened when Ava fell into her arms. Maybe it’s because of the knot she felt form in her stomach when that guy wrapped himself around Ava as if she was his.

And is she?

Why would that matter? Of course she has a boyfriend. She’s pretty and in college and most pretty college girls have boyfriends. Knowing about Emily Dickinson doesn’t automatically mean that she’s gay. And why does she care if Ava is gay or not?

She doesn’t. She doesn’t care.

Either way, Ava is something that Beatrice shouldn’t get accustomed to. She’s fiery and makes jokes about everything. She can’t pay attention in class and she’s an arts major for Christ’s sake. Everything that Beatrice cannot be involved with.

So why does she feel some sort of pull to her? Some sort of compulsion to look at her during class? A feeling akin to pain when she sees her with a guy draped around her? A blush when she’s caught starting?

Why does she feel the urge to text her the lines of poems that she reads?

 

…

Oh no.

 

She takes in a deep shaky breath, feeling a sense of panic rise up to her throat. Her fingers hover over her phone’s keyboard for a few seconds hesitatingly, before she starts typing again.

 

Me : I need to talk to you about something.

Lilith V. : Okay? Tell me when you get here, Stupid.

 

Beatrice rolls her eyes but feels her shoulders untense slightly. Maybe Lilith can help her nip these confusing feelings in the bud. She looks up, finding that it’s her turn to order. 

-

Beatrice returns home with multiple bags crowding her hands. She puts the sandwiches on the dining room table first before placing her other bags on the couch. She’ll put away their contents after she eats.

Lilith loiters out of her room with a stretch. “New books?” She questions as she rounds the couch to sit at her designated seat at the table. Beatrice nods in return before adding, “and new clothes.”

“Ohhh let me guess, another button down and a pair of slacks?” Lilith teases although her tone is straight.

Beatrice rolls her eyes before sitting across from her, “I don’t judge your fashion choices.”

“So that’s a yes,” Lilith takes a bite of her sandwich. Beatrice sighs in defeat before starting on her own sandwich.

When their food is all eaten, Lilith clasps her hands together on the table, “So, what did you want to talk about.”

Beatrice swallows dryly and hesitates for a moment. The air is tense as Lilith waits for Beatrice’s response.

“I think-” Beatrice shakes her head, as if the sentence isn’t starting how she wants it to, “There is this girl in my class.”

Lilith’s mouth lifts in a sort of devious smile, “a pretty girl?”

Beatrice half scoffs, “I- okay yes, an attractive girl.”

“And what is the problem with that? There are many attractive girls on campus," Lilith responds with a lift of her eyebrow.

“Well, first of all, I’ve told you that I don’t need any distractions. And she is definitely a distraction. She doesn’t even pay attention in class and she asks me so many questions like she wasn’t even listening to the professor. Not to mention, it’s like I can’t stop looking at her in class. My notes are practically non-existent,” Beatrice starts pacing around the living room.

“Secondly, she’s erratic. I feel so confused around her. Like one minute she’s late and then the next minute she shows up early to things. She asked me to read a poem to her and she invites me to go out with her and her friends. She texts me random things throughout the day and I actually reply most of the time. I want to talk to her. I’ve only met her a few weeks ago but I feel like I know her. And at the same time, I don’t understand her and it’s making me feel crazy,” Beatrice finally stops her rant, having to pause to catch her breath.

“And she stole my pencil,” Beatrice crosses her arms in front of her chest.

Lilith laughs, another rare sight, “Beatrice, it sounds like you’ve got a full blown crush. Why don’t you go for it?” Beatrice groans, running her hands over her face uncharacteristically. Lilith continues, “You said it yourself that she's cute. You like her. So what if she’s a little eclectic? Maybe that’s what you need.”

Beatrice inhales deeply. Here comes the real problem. The others she could maybe overlook. She could maybe make an exception to her rules.

“She has a boyfriend.”

The room is silent for a second.

“Oh.”

 

Notes:

I've said it before and I'll say it again, these characters really write themselves. The truth comes out WAY sooner than expected.

Also guys, how do we feel about smut? I've never really written any before so I'm a little nervous, but is that something you guys even want??

Anyway, any and all comments welcome <3

Chapter 6: The Party

Summary:

Ava turns back to Camila quickly, a sudden panic filling her eyes. They both look at each other for a second and Ava shakes her head frantically, attempting to telepathically communicate her needs to Camila.

She needs to get out of here. And fast.

Notes:

okay hiiii
So this is the longest chapter so far at about 5k words. I really hope you guys like it cause i worked real hard on it this week :)

ALSO
hi Ava has anxiety, if that doesn't translate in this chapter.
Also Fuck JC. okay, carry on!

— a v a —

Ava shakes out her nerves as the band gets ready to take the stage. Everyone is here on time this time (even JC). It's the first performance of their contracted gigs at the Cat’s Cradle.

The past week has been full of sound checks and rehearsals all leading up to this moment. Long story short, it’s been a stressful couple of days. Ava has so much homework to catch up on, it's insane. Maybe she can get Beatrice to tutor her or something, she’s smart.

She pushes those thoughts away as she does a quick breathing exercise. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. The chatter of the crowd is overwhelming as it swells on the other side of the stage.

All of a sudden, it’s like Ava can’t stop thinking. Her palms start to feel sweaty and the air around her feels stuffy. Her breathing turns shallow.

What if she fucks up the words or cracks on a note and the crowd hates her and they boo her off stage and she ruins the contract with Cat’s Cradle and they never want them to come back and the band has to go back to playing half empty bars and then eventually they just have to disband all together because she’s ruined everything and-

Camila comes up next to her, placing one of her hands firmly on Ava’s back. She can always tell when Ava’s anxiety is getting the best of her. It’s one of the perks of being best friends for more than a decade.

“Hey, listen, deep breaths. This is the same as all the rest of the performances we’ve done. We were just here a week ago,” Camila smiles encouragingly, rubbing a large circle on Ava’s back. This prompts Ava to inhale deeply, although still a bit shaky.

“You’re gonna do great,” Camila adds with a determined nod.

“My brain is going a million miles a minute, Cam,” Ava admits, turning slightly to face her, “What if I can't focus out there and I screw us?” She lets out another shaky breath.

“That isn’t going to happen,” Camila reasons, “You could sing these songs in your sleep.” Her smile turns teasing, “Actually, I can confirm that you have sung these songs in your sleep, pretty loudly too.”

Ava lets out a small chuckle in return, already feeling her worries fade a little bit. Of course, she knows Camila is right. She knows these songs front to back. 

Even if she were to fuck something up, which she has only very rarely done, she’s pretty good at recovering. There isn’t really anything that could happen that would completely ruin them.

Her shoulders lose a bit of their tension and this causes Camila’s smile to grow even further.

“There she is,” she muses, “Now let’s go.” Camila slaps Ava’s butt unexpectedly as she walks away, causing Ava to let out a startled squeak before they both laugh. 

Soon enough, the group is taking the stage again. It’s similar to their last performance here, except this time there are custom banners and decals tailored to their band. It’s more of a spectacle.

Ava smiles as the cheering picks up, “Good to see you again, Cat’s Cradle!” There’s another surge from the crowd. “Once again, we’re Hope at Last Oath. Let’s fucking do this!”

~ Now Playing : The Anthem by Good Charlotte ~

It’s a new day

But it all feels old…

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Both Beatrice and Lilith are attempting to come to terms with the fact that Beatrice has a crush. It’s been years since she has been interested in anyone, so Lilith seems rather bummed that nothing will be able to come from it.

“Well, this opens the door at least,” Lilith says thoughtfully as she scrolls through to find a new movie on the TV.

Beatrice pulls her eyes up from one of her new books, “What?”

Since their talk during lunch, the air has been a little awkward between them. They both stayed in the living room though, Lilith silently understanding that Beatrice needed company so she wouldn’t spiral with her feelings.

Suddenly recognizing this was the first thing that she had said in about an hour, Lilith rephrases, “You having a crush, it opens the door.”

Beatrice sighs as she closes her book, using one of her fingers to hold her place, “What do you mean?”

“I mean now we know you’re ready to be interested in someone,” Lilith responds.

“I don’t think-”

“No, listen,” Lilith interrupts harshly, “You haven’t gone on a date in ages. Women are attracted to you whether you like it or not.” Beatrice rolls her eyes at this statement, but Lilith continues, “If you just go on a couple dates maybe you’ll see that you’re ready to be back in the game. I’ve been trying to get you laid for so long Beatrice. Now’s the chance.”

Beatrice takes a deep breath in, looking away from Lilith as focusing on a random spot on the wall. Her mind flashes back to Ava smiling at her in class.

Ava asking questions in the lab and getting excited when she gets something right. Ava texting her dumb jokes in the middle of the day. Ava leaning forward and listening intently as Beatrice reads her a poem. A blush creeping up Ava’s neck that she pretended not to notice.

She thinks of Ava falling into her at the store. How her heart picked up. Ava looking at her with hopeful eyes as Camila invited Beatrice to lunch.

Subsequently, she thinks of a guy pulling Ava close to him. Thinks of him kissing the top of her head so comfortably. Imagines what else they do together…

“Fine,” Beatrice finally says to pull herself out of her own thought process, “Fine, I’ll go on a date.”

Lilith widens her eyes, perking up a bit. She clearly had expected more of a fight at least.

“Good,” Lilith says triumphantly, standing up and pulling her phone out of her pocket with purpose.

“What are you doing?” Beatrice asks, glancing nervously between Lilith and her phone.

“I have someone I want you to meet before you change your mind,” Lilith responds, “I’m seeing if she’s free tonight.”

“Tonight?!” Beatrice exclaims, standing up abruptly, “Not tonight, Lilith!”

“Relax,” Lilith responds, putting a hand on her roommate’s shoulder, “You don’t have to go on an actual date tonight. I’m just going to invite her over and you can meet and talk. You can see how you would feel about going out with her. I’ll be here the whole time.”

Beatrice relaxes only slightly. At least she won’t be going on a formal date without being prepared. And Lilith would be there to act as a barrier or a conversation starter or a mediator or whatever she was planning on doing.

Lilith’s phone pings and she nods with finality, “Alright, she’s going to come over.”

Panic rises in Beatrice’s throat again but Lilith grabs both of her shoulders sternly, “It’s going to be fine, Idiot. Just a pretty girl who wants to meet you.”

Beatrice swallows thickly and nods.

-

Not long after, there’s a knock on the door of their apartment. Lilith gets up quickly and Beatrice rubs her palms on her legs a few times to calm herself down.

“Hey Dora, come in,” Lilith greets from the door.

Beatrice turns her head to look over the couch at the girl entering the apartment.

Dora immediately reminds her of one of her group mates from her psychology class the year before, Mary. She has the same sort of badass energy to her, like she could kill you with just a glance. Not to mention she’s obviously pretty fit. Her cutoff shirt shows off the definition in her arms.

Lilith leads Dora into the living room and Beatrice stands up, holding her hand out.

“This is my roommate Beatrice,” Lilith introduces as Dora grips Beatrice’s hand, “Beatrice, this is Dora.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Dora responds. Beatrice knows that’s a lie. Lilith would have next to no reason to bring Beatrice up in a conversation. But she lets it slide for the sake of pleasantries.

“All good things, I hope?” Beatrice responds with a tight smile. Everything she’s been taught to do since she was young.

Dora laughs at that and looks over at Lilith, “You weren’t kidding when you said she’s contained huh?”

Beatrice’s eyes snap over to Lilith who shrugs with a teasing smile. “What else did she say about me?” Beatrice questions with a slight frown.

“That you’re also her best friend,” Dora adds to pacify the situation, she still has a small smile on her face. Lilith nudges her with an elbow sharply.

This makes Beatrice chuckle. “Alright, sit down you two,” Lilith says with a roll of her eyes, “I’m going to go make some drinks.”

Beatrice’s eyes follow Lilith anxiously as she leaves the room. Before she reaches the entrance to the kitchen, Lilith turns to give Beatrice a thumbs up.

“So, Beatrice, tell me about yourself,” Dora starts.

Despite whatever Lilith thought was going to happen, their conversation is rather boring. It feels like it drags on forever. It feels too formal. It feels… not right.

Beatrice stays though. She makes small talk and sips on the cocktail Lilith eventually brings her, which is way too strong for her taste.

They talk about where Lilith and Dora met : The Gym. Talk about Majors : Finance for Beatrice, Criminal Justice for Dora. They talk only briefly about family : Dora has two younger brothers, Beatrice doesn’t want to talk about it. Talk about so much but not really anything at all.

And then, as quickly as she had arrived, Dora was gone. Lilith and Beatrice sit quietly in the living room for a few minutes.

Lilith is the first one to break the silence, as usual, “So it’s a no to Dora.”

“Right,” Beatrice agrees, “she was nice just-” She pauses, fidgeting with the bottom hem of her shirt. “I don’t know, I didn’t feel anything.”

Lilith nods. “Well that’s okay,” she says, standing up and grabbing their cups to put in the sink, “she’s just the first try.”

“Yeah,” Beatrice mumbles quietly.

-

Later, much later, when Beatrice is laying in bed staring at the ceiling, she finds that she can’t sleep. She’s not sure of the exact cause of her sudden insomnia but she feels like her mind is running on a treadmill too fast. 

She glances at the clock next to her bed periodically.

 

11:00

She wonders fleetingly how often Lilith is going to do this. How many blind dates she’ll have to go through. She wonders if any of them will be anything like Ava.

 

11:15

She tries to think about how much time she’ll have to set aside for these dates. She already has the Biology project she has to work on. She’ll have to set up more frequent but shorter meeting with Ava. And that’s not to mention all of the homework for her other classes. What if she doesn't have time to finish all of her new books? She hasn’t even finished the Emily Dickinson poems for her Post-1865 American Literature class.

She spirals a little then.

 

12:15

She was struggling to understand the poems a few weeks ago. The words just weren’t connecting in her brain. It isn’t something that happens often.

But lately she finds herself rereading lines and understanding their meaning. Their longing phrases.

As she focuses on keeping her eyes closed, some of the lines seem burned into her eyelids.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - // That perches in the soul -

My River runs to thee – // Blue Sea – Wilt welcome me?

I had been hungry, all the Years – // My Noon had Come – to dine –

She thinks Ava would like that last one more than the one she read to her before.

 

12:30

Beatrice groans and flips over to her other side, forcing her eyes shut tightly. She lays there in silence for a couple of minutes that each feel like hours. It doesn’t work.

She turns over one more time to look at the clock.

 

12:50

Suddenly, a thought pops into her head and she grabs her phone off the nightstand. The sudden bright light of the screen makes her squint, but she navigates to her messages quickly and types out a text, deleting and retyping multiple times before finally pressing send.

 

— a v a —

The concert flies by flawlessly, despite all of Ava’s worries. She should honestly feel tired from the amount of energy she gave out on the stage, but she is completely buzzing with adrenaline.

So when the entire band is invited to a party nearby, they all agree excitedly. 

The two-story house they reach a few minutes later is practically bouncing with the loud bass boosted music playing inside. Bright colored lights shine through the windows and groups of people are already poured out into the front yard.

The group is no stranger to nightlife, so they walk confidently through the doors to join the nonsense. 

Camila pulls on Ava’s sleeve as she bounces on the balls of her feet. “Drinks!” she yells to be heard over the music, pointing towards where the kitchen seems to be. 

Ava whoops loudly and allows herself to be pulled by her best friend. She is acutely aware of Mary and Michael following after them and JC dancing badly through the crowd opposite of them.

The girls grab their drinks quickly. Two beers for Mary and Micheal and two sweeter wine coolers for Ava and Camila. Ava picks something called Ultimate Cherry Blast and Camila chooses Watermelon Explosion. The names seem a little intense for their fruity flavors but who are they to judge?

“Should we get one for JC?” Camila asks, trying and failing to hide the annoyed look on her face.

Ava practically scoffs at the idea, “If he wants one he can come get one himself.”

Mary nods stoically in agreement which causes Camila to let out a laugh before she starts pulling Ava back into the dancing crowd.

The music vibrates through Ava’s body as she dances with near reckless abandon. Her arms swim through the air as she lifts them above her head and Camila mimics her movements. 

With a couple wine coolers (and shots) down and many songs later, Ava feels someone slide behind her, holding her waist as she moves back and forth. She feels lips press against her neck. A slight turn of her head confirms her suspicion that JC has finally found her in the crowd. Ava connects their lips lazily, still continuing her sway.

JC hums against Ava’s lips and pulls her harder against his front. They dance recklessly together, hands moving up and down each other’s bodies. Every so often their lips find their way into the mix.

It almost feels nice for a little bit. Ava can feel a slight buzz and her senses are all occupied.

Eventually, Ava feels JC lingering on her neck, sucking harshly and definitely leaving marks. He plants a kiss under Ava’s ear before murmuring, “You wanna get out of here?”

Ava frowns slightly and pulls her face away from his, looking into his eyes, “I just wanna dance tonight, JC. Can we just dance?”

It’s always this way with her boyfriend. Sex is the goal, nothing can be just for romance or for fun. It’s always the means to an end. It's exhausting. 

JC takes his turn to frown before he scoffs and pushes off of her, storming off to some unknown part of the house.

Because of course he does. In a moment where Ava thought that maybe they could get better and make something work between them, he leaves without a word.

As if on cue, Camila slides back into the picture, grabbing both of Ava’s hands and forcing her to dance again.

Camila leans forward towards Ava’s ear so she can be heard over the music, “You okay?”

Ava just nods in response with a small smile. As Camila pulls away with a nod. They’re back to swaying freely for only a few minutes before Camila suddenly stiffens, her eyes locked in the direction of the door.

Ava stops moving and looks at her friend confused for a moment before she follows her gaze and her jaw clenches. Walking through the doorway confidently is no other than Zori, followed closely by her normal entourage. 

Why the fuck would she be here? How did she even know about this party? It wasn’t like it was one of Randall’s. Ava had never even seen most of these people before in her life. How would Zori, of all people, know about it?

Ava turns back to Camila quickly, a sudden panic filling her eyes. They both look at each other for a second and Ava shakes her head frantically, attempting to telepathically communicate her needs to Camila.

She needs to get out of here. And fast.

Being her best friend, of course, Camila picks up on the gesture immediately. She begins searching with her eyes for Mary and Michael near the walls of the house. When she finally finds them, they’re already staring directly at the other pair. 

Mary looks ready to pounce and Michael looks mostly worried and just a little bit pissed. Camila gestures with her head towards the set of stairs nearby and begins leading Ava towards them. Michael attempts to follow, but Mary grabs his arm and shakes her head slightly. More people in there would only make it worse.

Everything has just gone to shit. This night had been so good up until about 5 minutes ago. They had a great gig, had been invited to a party, and got to get a little bit drunk. And now all of a sudden, her boyfriend stormed off because she wasn’t really in the mood and then his ex showed up strutting in like she owned the place.

Ava can feel her heartbeat in her ears as Camila sits her down on a bed in what looks like a guest room judging by the lack of decor. But she can’t really focus on that. She’s mostly thinking about the loud ringing sound in her ears.

“Don’t move, I’m going to get you some water,” Camila says, squeezing Ava’s knee comfortingly. Ava nods and Camila leaves the room, making sure to lock the door as she left so no one would get any ideas. 

Ava starts pulling off her overshirt, suddenly feeling very hot and claustrophobic. When she finally pulls it off and throws it onto the floor somewhere, she flops down fully against the bed. She quickly regrets her decision as pain immediately floods to her head.

Why is Zori here?

Ava is too drunk for this. It’s all too much. She can feel her breathing getting more erratic as time passes. She needs to get out of here. She needs to tell Camila she wants to leave and then call an uber and go. She needs to-

Her phone vibrates once in her pocket. She pulls it out quickly, desperately hoping for a text from any of her friends downstairs.

 

Beatrice : What do you call an organic compound with an attitude?

 

Oh.

 

Me : huh?

Beatrice : A-mean-o acid.

 

Despite everything, Ava lets out a disbelieving laugh. She sits up and winces a little as another pain shoots through her head. Her fingers hover over the keyboard for a second.

 

Me : was that… a joke, Beatrice Young?

Beatrice : Much better than your Biology teacher one, in my opinion.

Me : mmmm I dont think so

Beatrice : Agree to disagree then.

 

Ava smiles then glances at the time at the top of her screen. It’s almost 1am.

 

Me : isnt it past your bedtime??

Beatrice : Yes, actually. I just didn't want to forget the joke.

Beatrice : Goodnight, Ava Silva.

Me : goodnight

 

Ava locks her phone and puts it back in her pocket. For some unknown reason she feels better already. Her breathing has evened out and she doesn’t feel as hot. She takes a deep breath just as Camila comes back into the room holding two water bottles. The music from outside the door fills the room briefly before it dims again to a dull hum.

Camila hands Ava one of the bottles of water with a soft and caring smile. “Feeling better?” she asks before opening her own water bottle and taking a swig from it. Ava nods and chugs half of hers before closing it firmly.

“I do think I want to leave though. I’m feeling too overwhelmed. I’ll just call an Uber and head back to the apartment,” Ava says, standing up.

“I’ll go with you, this party stinks anyway,” Camila responds before wrapping one of her arms around Ava’s shoulders.

Ava knows that Camila is lying. She loves parties and this one is just her style, Ava knows she just wants to make sure her best friend gets home safe, and she appreciates it more than even she can comprehend right now.

Together they go back downstairs to find their other friends. Michael and Mary haven’t moved from their spot, leaned against the wall casually. Their hardened expressions soften a little as Ava and Camila wander up to them.

Camila jerks her head towards the front door and the whole group spills out of the house, gathering in a small circle on the front patio.

“Me and Ava are going to go home, are you guys good?” Camila asks, looking between both of them.

“We’ll probably head out soon too,” Mary answers before focusing her attention on Ava, “How about you? Are you alright, baby girl?”

Ava nods with a small smile. “I just wanna go home,” she admits with a shrug of her shoulders.

Mary places an uncharacteristically soft hand on Ava’s shoulder and squeezes lightly, “I know a lot has been going on, but you did great tonight, okay? Outstanding”

Michael chimes in, “You really did, Ava. The crowd absolutely loved you. Focus on that.” He smiles proudly and it almost makes Ava want to cry. She might be sobering up a bit, but she’s still too drunk for compliments.

“I love you guys,” Ava replies as she feels a tear fall down her cheek.

Well shit, that was not the plan.

She feels herself getting pulled into a hug, first by Camila, then Michael joins, wrapping himself around both girls. Camila pulls Mary in last. She huffs as if she’s going to argue, but untenses quickly and melts into the hug.

After a few moments, the hug breaks. Ava uses the back of her hand to wipe the leftover tears from her eyes. “Okay, okay let’s leave,” She says with a laugh. Camila chuckles in return and pulls out her phone to get the uber.

“I’m gonna go back in and see if I can find JC and tell him we’re leaving,” Michael says, leaving the group to head back into the party.

Mary settles against the outside wall to wait. Camila and Ava lean on the porch railing. After only a few minutes of waiting, Ava feels a shiver across her whole body. She wraps her arms around herself and rubs them to try and warm up. Suddenly, she remembers something.

“My shirt!” She exclaims abruptly, causing Camila to jump slightly.

“What?” Camila asks in confusion, still a little startled.

“I left my shirt in that room,” she explains, pushing up off the rail and pulling on Camila’s sleeve lightly, “Will you come with me to get it before the uber shows up?”

Camila groans exaggeratingly, allowing herself to be dragged back into the house once again. They push through the crowd to get to the stairs, which is taking way longer than expected.

Ava has to avoid elbows and asses to finally get to the point where she can climb up the stairs. Since they left, the stairs had filled with random couples making out in various positions.

Ava rolls her eyes as she steps over their various limbs. They finally reach the door and Ava pushes it open. When her eyes adjust to the light of the room, she gasps audibly and stands frozen in the doorway.

There’s someone on the bed. Two people actually, shamelessly grinding on each other, complete with moans and sighs and hands touching and grabbing everywhere they can. One of the bodies is achingly familiar.

Ava feels numb. It’s JC. And under JC lies an almost fully naked Zori. She looks towards the doorway with an almost smug expression. Her bra is halfway off but she doesn’t even bother to cover herself up as she locks eyes with Ava. Instead she leans her head back and lets out a (surely overexaggerated) moan.

Camila had gotten stuck on the stairs so she lagged behind Ava a bit. She passes Ava, who is still frozen with her hand stuck on the doorknob, with a confused look. Finally, she looks into the room, “What the fuck?!”

JC groans loudly with one final thrust before he turns his head towards the door. His eyes widen and his jaw drops. It would almost be comedic if the situation wasn’t so fucked up.

JC throws himself off of Zori impressively quick. His clothes are mostly abandoned on the foot of the bed and when he lifts himself off the bed, he grabs his jeans from the pile hastily. He struggles to pull them on as he gets out of the bed, walking towards Ava but fumbling as he attempts to clothe himself.

“Ava-” he starts. But Ava closes the door abruptly, slamming it loudly and turning away from the room. It feels like she can’t breathe.

Camila is already pulling Ava down the stairway again, attempting to speed through without falling. The next few minutes go by Ava in a blur. She can’t hear anything that anyone says to her. It feels like the scene she walked in on is playing on a loop in her mind.

 

— m a r y —

Mary sees a car pull up on the street and is almost certain it’s the Uber Camila called. She leans forwards and looks towards the door of the house. Right as she does, Camila comes bowling out, holding Ava close to her side. Ava looks as though she’s seen a ghost. Camila looks as though she’s ready to kill.

“What happened?” Mary asks, looking both of them over frantically.

“He’s out, Mary. JC is out,” Camila is practically snarling as she speaks.

“Okay, he’s out,” Mary complies easily. She doesn’t need a reason to kick JC out of the band, it’s been a long time coming. She would however, like an explanation, “But why? What happened?”

Camila’s jaw tightens and she looks back towards the door.

Ava’s voice surprises both of the other girls as it comes out with a unamused chuckle that sounds alien coming out of Ava’s mouth, “He fucked Zori. I saw it.”

Mary swallows dryly and feels her hands clench at her sides, “I’m gonna kill him.” She storms towards the door. “Get her home,” Mary calls over her shoulder, “I’ll text you.”

She doesn’t take the time to watch them go as she stalks into the house.

Surprisingly, there is already some sort of commotion as she walks in. Most of the dancing has stopped and there is a tight circle formed near the bottom of the staircase.

Mary pushes through the crowd angrily and suddenly has a front row seat to the action. On the floor JC and Micheal are tumbling, exchanging blows. Their limbs are flailing just to attempt to make contact with the other.

“That’s my sister you dick! Fuck You!” Michael yells so loud it can be heard over the bass of the music that is still playing. He finally gets JC pinned underneath him and he gets in a few good punches to his face. “Fucking. Asshole. Fuck. You,” he yells between punches.

Mary moves into action, grabbing Michael and pulling him off of JC. As she holds him back by his arms, he struggles for a second but then relaxes when he sees that it’s Mary. She lets go when he’s calmed himself a little and pushes him lightly away from the area.

“Go,” she says, pointing to the door. Michael clenches and unclenches his fists a few times before he turns away in a huff and makes his way out of the house.

Mary takes this time to turn back to JC. She can feel her blood boiling. JC is attempting to get up now. He’s on his hands and knees with one hand reaching up to his nose.

When he looks up and sees Mary, he starts begging “Mary please I-”

He’s cut off by a hard kick to his stomach. He groans loudly and falls back to the floor.

“Stay the fuck away from her,” Mary practically growls.

“And if it wasn't clear, you’re out of the band.”

 

Notes:

Soooooo how do we feel ;)

talk to me <3

Chapter 7: The Morning Talks

Summary:

Ava groans again and rolls to the edge of her bed, “Can you bring it to me?” She gives Camila her best puppy dog eyes, complete with a pouted out bottom lip.

“You’re gonna get crumbs in your bed,” Camila shakes her head, putting her hands back onto her hips.

Notes:

This is like barely edited but I really wanted to get the chapter out tonight. So just pretend that you don't see any mistakes, thank youuuuu <3 Also thank you for all the love on the last chapter. I'm so glad you guys are digging this.

— b e a t r i c e —

When Beatrice's eyes open on Sunday morning, she has to squint them closed again to avoid the harsh light that pours out of her window.

She is a little confused as she sits up and checks the time. 9am? That’s surprising. Usually even on weekends Beatrice’s biological clock wakes her up at 7am at the latest.

She’d likely have to skip her run today, which is a bit disappointing. But it isn’t like she really even feels like running anyway. She stretches her arms up towards the ceiling before swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

She grabs her phone off the bedside table and stares at the notifications on the screen. 

A goodnight text from Ava at 1:00am. She practically groans thinking of her stupid joke the night before that she just had to get out. Truth be told, she wasn’t really sure why she felt the need to text Ava.

Maybe it was the need to know someone was up at the same time as her. That she wasn’t alone in the night attempting to drown out her own thoughts. Or maybe it was just that she needed to know that Ava was up, specifically. Maybe she needed the validation that Ava would actually talk to her, without the prerequisite of schoolwork.

And Ava did talk to her. She seemed maybe even pleased to hear from Beatrice.

That was wishful thinking, she was probably just being nice.

She shakes her head and taps on the notification. She types out a quick text before she can rethink her decision. They need to really double down on working on this project and what better day?

 

Me : Good morning, Ava. Would you be available later today to work on project planning? I would like to get started as soon as possible.

 

After Beatrice presses send on her text to Ava, she sees three separate texts from Lilith.

 

6:30am

Lilith V. : I’m going to the gym. Your door is closed so I guess you’re still asleep?

 

8:00am

Lilith V. : I’m back, should I be concerned that you aren’t awake yet? Are you good in there?

 

8:45am

Lilith V. : I’m making breakfast. Come get some.

 

As if on cue, Beatrice smells the strong scent of coffee wafting through the apartment and it drags her out of her bed. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes as she pulls open her door.

Lilith lifts her eyes up from her phone as Beatrice exits her room. She sits at the dining table with an empty plate in front of her. She pulls her coffee cup to her lips and takes a sip before speaking, “Early bird gets the worm, you know?”

“It still is early, Lilith,” she points towards the clock on the wall as she walks into the kitchen. She can’t be upset at her roommate’s tension. Lilith is a very routine person, and she’s probably thrown off by the change in their usual morning.

Beatrice pours some coffee into her favorite mug. It’s rather simple, a matte black outside with a deep green glaze on the inside, but she picks it out of all of their other options each day.

“Are you doing anything today?” Lilith calls out.

Beatrice sighs as she pours her creamer into her mug, watching it swirl into the coffee gracefully “I might be.”

“Well, what might you be doing?” Lilith asks in return. Beatrice can picture how Lilith rolls her eyes, maybe she crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently.

Beatrice grabs the pre-made plate of eggs, bacon and toast that Lilith had made for her. A small show of her roommate’s love.

She rounds the corner and sets both her plate and her mug on the table. As predicted, Lilith’s arms are crossed in front of her chest.

“I asked Ava if she wants to work on the project later today,” Beatrice says as she pulls out her chair and sits, attempting to sound casual about it.

“Ava, huh?” Lilith picks out. Beatrice realizes she had never mentioned the girl’s name in her complaint (or confession?) There is a small smile on Lilith’s lips. A raised eyebrow.

Beatrice takes a sip of her coffee, “yes, Ava.”

There is a pause as Beatrice begins eating her breakfast. She glances at her phone on the table every so often, waiting for the screen to light up with a notification.

“If you’re up to it,” Lilith starts after she finishes her coffee and sits the mug on the table, “I’d like to bring you with me somewhere tonight.”

“And where is that?” Beatrice asks with an accusatory tone.

“Nowhere crazy,” Lilith says, raising her hands as if not trying to offend, “just this bar that I found on the outskirts of town. It’s really chill… And I think you would really like the crowd.”

Beatrice can tell exactly what she means, “You’re trying to get me to go to a gay bar tonight, Lilith. On a school night?” 

“Not a gay bar,” Lilith says with a shrug, “It’s a lesbian bar, very different.”

Beatrice rolls her eyes and sighs, “I'll think about it.”

Lilith smiles as if she’s won, “You should. I’m going to do a grocery run. We’re out of eggs now.”

She stands up and clasps Beatrice's shoulder before she walks away, “Really think about it.” Then she looks back to her own dirty dishes on the table, “You’ve got those, right? Cool. Good talk” 

She pats Beatrice’s shoulder before she walks away without waiting for an answer. Beatrice lets out a chuckle and shakes her head as she watches Lilith leave.

By the time she finishes her breakfast and cleans the dishes, it’s close to 9:45.

Beatrice tries to avoid looking at her phone too much. As she had told Lilith before, it still is early. She shouldn’t expect a response automatically.

She pulls one of her new books out from her bookshelf and settles into the couch, resting her back against the armrest and laying her legs out in front of her. She crosses her legs at her ankles and opens to the first chapter of the novel.

She really tries to read, but her eyes keep moving towards her phone on the coffee table, her brain starts wandering, her fingers start fidgeting on the edges of the pages. She finds herself having to read lines over to try to understand them.

She lasts 15 minutes before she groans and places the book open face down on her chest. She moves one of her hands up to rub her temples a few times. Finally, she picks up her phone.

 

Me : It’s alright if today is not ideal. We can start up the project another day.

 

She puts her phone face-down on the coffee table and pulls her book back up, determined to focus this time around.

 

— a v a —

A sharp pain shoots through Ava’s head as sunlight suddenly invades her space. She groans and pulls up her blanket to cover her face. 

“Come on Ava, it’s almost 11am,” Camila says as she walks away from the window where she had just pulled back the blinds.

Ava grumbles and turns to her side to further shield her face from the outside world.

If her eyes were open, she would see Camila standing next to her bed with her hands fixed onto her hips. “Ava,” she scolds with an annoyed tone.

Camila tugs on the covers till Ava’s head is finally showing. “Mary dropped off food. It’s gonna get cold.”

This causes Ava to crack open one eye to look at Camila. She closes it again and then mumbles, “What did she bring?”

Camila smiles and replies a little singsongy, “Bacon egg and cheese bagels.”

“From Lapel’s?” Ava asks, cracking her eyes open again.

“Mhm!” Camila answers, swinging her arms back and forth behind her back.

Ava groans again and rolls to the edge of her bed, “Can you bring it to me?” She gives Camila her best puppy dog eyes, complete with a pouted out bottom lip.

“You’re gonna get crumbs in your bed,” Camila shakes her head, putting her hands back onto her hips.

Ava sighs dramatically, letting one of her arms dangle off of the bed, “Please , my very best friend in the whole entire world. I’m in pain. Crumbs are the least of my worries.”

Camila frowns a little bit before moving Ava’s legs and taking a seat on the edge of the bed. She places her hand delicately on Ava’s thigh, “Are you okay?”

Ava shrugs, “I feel weird. I don’t know. I just-” She sighs, bringing her hand up to push down on a spot on the top of her head, “Like, how long was he doing that with her? Did I even really matter to him at all? I don’t know. It's just a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.”

Camila nods and squeezes Ava’s thigh once before letting go and placing her hands in her lap, “Well, fuck him. Either way he’s a piece of shit. You don’t need him.”

“Yeah, it just sucks, you know?” Ava adjusts so that she’s leaning against the headboard, “I feel numb.”

Camila frowns a little more before pushing off of the bed, “I’m here for you. For whatever you need.” She pauses and lets a small smile onto her face, “Including breakfast in bed.”

“Yes!” Ava exclaims with a celebratory first pump. Camila giggles as she leaves the room.

She returns a few moments later with a plate balanced on each hand and two water bottles tucked under her arm. She hands one of the plates and water bottles to Ava, who wiggles excitedly as she sets her food on her lap.

Camila takes a spot at the foot of the bed, pulling her legs up to cross under her. 

Ava takes a bite of her bagel and makes a sound close to a moan. “Oh my god, I needed this so bad,” she says with a mouth full of food.

Camila laughs at her before taking a bite of her own sandwich.

They eat their meals in comfortable silence. Every time Camila takes a sip of her water she gestures at Ava to do the same. Ava rolls her eyes practically every time before complying.

Soon their food is eaten and their water has been drunk. Camila takes their plates out to the kitchen and Ava takes this time to check her phone.

As expected, she has multiple calls and texts from JC. She rolls her eyes and dismisses the notifications without even checking the contents. She’s about to lock her phone and throw it somewhere on the bed when she sees another notification. Not JC.

It’s Beatrice.

She suddenly remembers Beatrice texting her before everything else went down. It’s like a fog lifts itself off of the memory.

The texts she reads now are dramatically different from the night before. An invite to work on the project and then a rescinding of said invitation.

She narrows her eyes slightly. She thought that maybe she was getting somewhere with the other girl. Pulling her out of her deep shell of repression. Maybe getting to know her a little bit better. But it seems like it's straight back to business.

She debates on responding for a few seconds. To be honest, she doesn’t feel like going anywhere. Her fingers hover over the screen.

Camila reenters and freezes as she sees Ava frowning at her phone. “Did he text you?” she growls, instantly pulling the phone out of Ava’s hands.

“No it’s-” Ava starts.

“Oh!” Camila interrupts, her angry scowl turning quickly into a smile, “Beatrice.”

Ava attempts to take her phone back, “Yeah, so just give it back.” Camila pulls it out of her reach. Ava slumps forward on the bed.

Camila types out a text and throws the phone back into Ava’s lap, “There, getting out of the house will do you some good.”

“What? What did you do?” she asks, frantically picking up her phone to look at the message she sent.

 

Me : Hey, sure! we can work on the project today

Me : What’s your plan?

 

Okay, so it wasn’t as bad as Ava was expecting. She lets out a breath of relief.

“What did you think I was gonna do? 11:30am booty call?” Camila crosses her arms and raises one of her eyebrows.

Ava shrugs with a smirk, “I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Camila rolls her eyes then pats Ava’s head, “Go take a shower, brush your teeth, all that good stuff. Then go work on that project with sexy nun and get your mind off of everything.”

Ava sighs and then nods. Camila seems content with her response and leaves the room. Ava flops back down on her bed briefly before she hears her phone vibrate next to her. 

 

Beatrice : Oh okay. We could meet at the Library again.

Beatrice : Or there is a cafe I frequent. It’s quiet and there is coffee.

Beatrice : I mean obviously there’s coffee. It’s a cafe.

Beatrice : Wherever is fine.

 

Me : a cafe sounds great.

Me : what time?

 

Beatrice : 1:00?

 

Me : sounds good. send the address

 

Ava closes her eyes again as she drops her phone onto her chest, before finally pushing off her blanket to start getting ready for the day.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice sits at her normal table at the cafe. She hasn’t ordered her drink yet but she figures that she should wait until Ava shows up. She’s not sure why, but she feels as though it is the polite thing to do.

Her laptop sits open in front of her with a couple of different documents tabbed open. The project instructions, their brainstorming of ideas, and a web browser with a few professional lab reports.

Beatrice absentmindedly clicks through the tabs and reads the introductions of a few of the reports. Each time she hears the door chime, her eyes find the door.

It’s not even 1:00 yet. It’s not like she should expect her to arrive early every time.

A few minutes later, the chime sounds from the door and when Beatrice lifts her gaze towards it, she sees Ava walking through.

The other girl meanders by the entrance for a few seconds, searching the cafe until her eyes finally meet Beatrice’s and she gives a small smile. She starts making her way towards the table.

To Beatrice’s chagrin, she finds that her eyes wander down the other girl’s body. Luckily it doesn’t seem like Ava notices. Beatrice blinks rapidly and forces herself to look at Ava’s face.

“Sorry, I’m a little late. Traffic was horrible,” Ava apologizes before dropping her bag into one of the empty chairs and taking a seat in the other. 

“It’s alright,” Beatrice says with a slight shake of her head.

“You didn’t get anything to drink?” Ava questions as she takes off her leather jacket, revealing a cutoff shirt that shows more skin than Beatrice was expecting. She swallows thickly.

What is happening right now?

Ava raises an eyebrow, probably confused as to why her question wasn’t answered, “Beatrice?”

“Oh,” Beatrice responds, her voice quieter than she was trying to make it. She clears her throat, “I was waiting for you so we could order at the same time.”

“Oh,” Ava says with a smile coming back onto her face, “That’s sweet. Let’s go then.”

She hops back from her seat and heads towards the short wait line. Beatrice follows after taking a breath to steady herself.

She doesn’t know why she feels so nervous. It shouldn’t matter that she is now aware of her attraction towards Ava. She can still be professional and not act like an idiot. It’s not as though they haven’t spoken outside of class before.

Maybe it’s because it’s at the cafe and not somewhere on campus. 

Maybe it feels too much like somewhere she should take a date. 

She’s pulled out of her thoughts as it’s Ava’s turn to order. It’s just Beatrice’s luck that Lucia is at the counter. The barista looks between the two of them with curious eyes for a moment as Ava turns to look at Beatrice, “What do you recommend?”

“I usually get the-”

“Vanilla Chai Latte,” Lucia interrupts with a bright smile. Beatrice truly can’t tell whether it’s genuine or not.

Ava seems surprised at the sudden interjection but lets out a small breath of laughter, “Okay, I’ll try that cold, please.”

“Same for me,” Beatrice says, reaching out to hand her card over the counter. Lucia hesitates before taking it, her smile having dropped slightly.

“Hey!” Ava says, in the midst of pulling out her own card, “I was gonna pay for mine.”

“My treat,” Beatrice responds, looking over at Ava who is now pouting slightly.

Cute.

Beatrice thinks she sees Lucia roll her eyes in her periphery before she pastes her smile back onto her face to hand back the card, “It’ll be right out.”

“Thank you, Lucia,” Beatrice responds. The barista winks in response as always.

As they pull away to wait at the pickup counter, Ava has become uncharacteristically quiet. Beatrice keeps her head facing forwards but watches as Ava fidgets with her fingers.

They get their drinks and return to the table. “Sooo Lucia,” Ava says as she does a weird little hand movement. Beatrice finds it incredibly endearing.

“What about Lucia?” Beatrice says, taking a sip of her drink. Ava shrugs, “She likes you.”

Beatrice almost spits out her drink. She manages to keep herself composed and swallows, “Lilith says that too. I disagree.” She can feel a slight frown on her lips.

Beatrice had never discussed her sexuality with Ava. And why would she? They aren’t really friends. Is that something Ava would want? To be friends? To know more about each other?

Ava is quiet for another few moments, taking gentle sips of her drink. Beatrice thinks she might not like it. That’s probably why she’s so quiet because she really doesn't like the drink Beatrice suggested and is only drinking it to be nice.

“Is Lilith your girlfriend?” Ava asks. She looks nervous as she asks the question, hands gripped tightly around her cup. 

“What? No,” Beatrice says after a pause that was too long, “She’s my roommate.”

“Ahh,” Ava says with a nod, grip still tight on the drink in front of her. Beatrice wonders what she’s concerned about now.

“Does it upset you that Lucia has a crush on you?” She asks.

Beatrice furrows her brow in confusion. She scans Ava’s face a few times trying to understand what was going on inside her head.

Then it hits.

Every time sexuality has been mentioned Beatrice closes off. She becomes too cold. Too upset. Too defensive. It could be taken as distaste. Ava thinks she's homophobic.

“If she did have a crush on me, I wouldn’t mind,” Beatrice responds, looking at her own hands before chancing a look back at Ava. It was as close as she was comfortable to coming out at the moment.

The tension in the other girl’s shoulders seems to loosen a little bit. She takes one more sip of her drink then scooches forward in her chair, “Anyway, let’s get started.”

-

Throughout their meeting, Beatrice notices a few things.

One : Ava is distracted. Every so often she looks at her phone and frowns. Sometimes she’ll type something furiously. Other times she’ll set the phone face down on the table, only to pick it up again when it vibrates.

Two : Ava is breathtakingly beautiful.

Three : Ava is usually a good listener in class but now it’s almost like everything goes in one ear and out the other.

Four : Ava runs her fingers over the back of her own knuckles as some sort of calming motion when she gets a text that she doesn’t like.

Five : Ava’s smiles today have been dim. Not the usual ray of sunshine that bursts out of her.

When they finish for the day, it's around 3:00. They’ve finally picked the experiment they’re going to work on and have written out the preparations they will have to make to be able to perform the lab.

Beatrice closes her laptop and Ava’s head snaps up from her phone again. “Not much else we can do for now,” Beatrice says as she starts putting her supplies away.

“So, when should we meet up again?” Ava asks, pocketing her phone and taking her jacket off the back of her chair.

Beatrice hums in thought, “I’m free after class on Tuesday. And after 7 on Wednesday.”

Ava bites her cheek thoughtfully, “What are you doing tomorrow after classes?”

“I don’t think we need to work on the project every day, Ava,” Beatrice says with furrowed brows.

“No, not- not for the project,” Ava shakes her head. She moves her fingers across her knuckles again, “Just to hang out, like friends?”

Beatrice swallows, “Friends?”

Ava nods softly.

Alarms are ringing in Beatrice’s head. This is only going to hurt her. She’s already in too deep, any further and she’ll drown. Ava has a boyfriend.

Despite her brain yelling at her, Beatrice’s voice squeaks out, “Okay.”

This might be the first time today that Ava actually fully smiles. It makes Beatrice feel warm yet she feels a shiver down her spine.

“Good,” Ava responds, pushing back her chair and standing up, “I’ll text you then, okay?”

“Right, Okay.”

Beatrice watches as Ava leaves and then drops her head onto the table unceremoniously.

 

"God Dammit."

 

Notes:

Questions thoughts concerns??? love ya, see ya next Monday.

Chapter 8: The Hangouts

Summary:

They stand there for a second, just looking at each other, not really knowing the next step. Ava’s eyes flick between both of Beatrice’s. It’s like they’re both frozen there. Both wanting something though they aren’t sure what.

Beatrice clears her throat and takes a step back, “I should go. I have another class soon.”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’ve gotta go anyway I’ve got… stuff,” Ava shuffles somewhat awkwardly, pointing her thumbs towards the driver seat door, “So I'll just… go. Okay, text me!”

Notes:

I'm loving the comments and stuff you guys are leaving! Very motivating to keep me actually posting every Monday (even if it is sometimes later in the day)

Let me know what you guys think about this one!

(It's also barely edited so if you see a mistake, no you don't)

— a v a —

The next week goes by in a breeze. Rehearsals are put on hold while the band figures out what to do next. Durreti at the Cat’s Cradle was surprisingly understanding about the situation and promised a spot back for them when they were ready.

The band, in turn, promised their absence wouldn’t be very long. They decided together that they would take a week off before training Michael a little more on taking JC’s spot.

 

Monday

Generally, Ava actually likes Monday’s. Her first class is Photography at noon, which is probably her favorite class this semester. And usually Monday would be a rehearsal day. But with practices paused, she asked Beatrice to hang out. As friends .

Ava was actually surprised that Beatrice agreed. She’s not sure where the confidence came from to ask. All she knows is that she could use more friends right now, and she’ll take any opportunity to not think about JC.

That morning, Ava groans as she plops down on the large sectional couch across from Camila in their living room. She pulls her legs up to lay across the pillows and tucks her hands under her head.

Camila looks up from her phone briefly as she watches Ava’s display, an amused smile on her lips.

“I asked Beatrice to hang out tonight,” Ava blurts out, almost as if she hadn’t meant to.

“Oh? And she said yes?” Camila responds, her eyebrows raising. Ava nods her head from her spot on the couch. After a moment of pause Camila drags out, “soooo what are you guys gonna do?”

“That’s the problem,” Ava says, sitting up quickly, “I didn’t think that far ahead. I didn’t think she would say yes, honestly.”

The pair sit in compilation for a moment, both silently mulling over options.

“She doesn’t seem like a party person, so going out probably isn't the move,” Camila points out, tapping her index finger on her chin thoughtfully.

“Yeah, and I feel like just inviting her over here would be weird,” Ava adds, “plus it’s not like we would have much to do.”

“You could play the switch? Maybe she’s into Mario Kart?” Camila shrugs.

Ava perks up a little bit at that suggestion. It's as if a light bulb turned on above her head. “Arcade!” Ava says excitedly. Camila breaks into a bright smile, “Good idea! Am I invited?”

“Of course!” Ava says, jumping up from her spot and patting Camila’s head as she walks past her, “I’m going to start getting ready for class. Can you Invite the others? I’m thinking 8:00?”

“Yeah yeah. I’ve got you,” Camila responds, waving her off casually.

 

NEW Band Buds >:(

Cammy <3 : ARCADE TONIGHT! Who’s in??

Maryyy >:) : I can’t. I told Shan that we’d have a movie night.

Cammy <3 : Booooooo

Me : tell Shannon I miss her </3

Maryyy >:) : You could theoretically tell her that yourself.

Me : :P

Mickey Mouse : I can’t either

Mickey Mouse : I have so much homework due tomorrow

Me : you guys are no fun :’(

Mickey Mouse : Sorry Aves

 

When Ava is finally ready for classes, she decides to finally ask Beatrice about the plans. For some reason she gets nervous when she picks up her phone from her bed.

just texting a new friend, Ava. You’re fine.

She exhales with a shake of her head and types out her invite.

 

Me : soooo for tonight

Me : how do you feel about an arcade??

Beatrice : As in, video games?

Me : yeah!

Me : we dont have to if you dont want to 

Me : I was just trying to think of something other than studying

Me : but we could just study if you want

Me : or i dunno, sit around and read?

Me : idrk what you like to do

Beatrice : An arcade sounds fine, Ava.

Me : great! ok!

Me : 8:00

Me : camila is coming too!

Beatrice : I’ll see you both then.

 

Ava releases a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. She opens a different thread to send one more text before she heads out.

 

Me : I miss you

Me : can we meet up soon?

 

She walks back out of her room, calling out a quick goodbye to her roommate as she heads towards the door. She hears a muffled “Have a good day!” from the other room which makes her smile softly.

She throws her backpack in the passenger seat of her car and rolls down her window. It’s a beautiful breezy day outside. She inhales deeply.

When she finally arrives at campus, Ava smiles and pulls her backpack onto her shoulder as she gets out of her car and heads to class.

- 

The day goes by quickly and soon enough Camila and Ava walk towards the arcade together. Since it’s Monday, it’s not a very busy night for the establishment. The crowd is pretty thin.

Outside, Ava spots Beatrice waiting near the front door with her arms folded in front of her as she leans against the wall. If Ava didn’t know better, her lab partner would look pretty casual and a little mysterious.

But Ava can see the way her fingers are tapping against her arm and how her eyes constantly scan her surroundings. Eventually, those eyes land on Ava.

Ava sends a small wave and Beatrice straightens before pushing off the wall and meeting them.

“Hello Camila,” Beatrice greets with a polite nod and before looking at Ava with a small smile, “Ava.”

Ava feels a shiver across her body, which she blames on the slight chill on the wind. “Hi,” she responds with a matching smile.

Camila seems jokingly impatient as she says, “yes yes, hi, now let's go!” She grabs one of both of their arms and pulls them through the doorway.

As they enter, they see at least a hundred machines light up the room, ranging from old school pacman and galaga to newer gen shooter and racing games.

Ava bounces on her heels for a second as they all take in the machines. “What do you wanna start with?” she asks her friends (Beatrice is her friend now!) excitedly.

“Well, we should probably get coins first,” Beatrice points out logically, motioning towards the machines near a desk at the front.

“I’ll get the first round if you guys wanna take a lap to check out the games,” Camila says, backing away from the other two. Beatrice seems to get distracted but the loud sounds of someone winning a jackpot across the arcade, giving time for Camila to sneak Ava a wink.

Ava rolls her eyes before she pulls on Beatrice’s sleeve, “Come on, Finance. Let’s see what they’ve got.” Beatrice follows behind her blindly.

-

As the night progresses, it’s clear that Beatrice isn’t that well versed in video games. Camila, on the other hand, dominates both of the other girls at any competitive game they end up spending time at.

Except for, surprisingly, skeeball. Beatrice is ridiculously accurate after tossing a few balls in. She pockets the rest into the 10,000 point slot. Ava watches with her mouth agape and Camila watches with a wide smile.

Ava shows off by playing Guitar Hero on expert difficulty. She dances in place, singing along with Barracuda as it plays through the speakers. “You seem very in your element like that,” Beatrice comments almost in awe as Ava plugs her initials into the leaderboard.

Camila and Ava share a knowing glance and then burst out laughing. Beatrice furrows her brow at them but lets it go rather quickly as they’re on to the next thing.

The group loses track of time as they circle the arcade, spending close to 2 hours on the games.

Beatrice checks her watch for the first time since they got there and suddenly gets visibly nervous. Ava notices immediately.

Not that she’s actively watching Beatrice or anything. Not that she’s been admiring how the neon lights reflect off of the other girl's eyes. Or how a slight smile has stayed plastered on her face practically the whole night. Or how she bites the inside of her cheek when she focuses on a game.

So no, she’s not watching. She’s just super perceptive. That’s all.

“Hey, you okay?” Ava asks as she pulls Beatrice aside. Camila skips ahead in front of them, her eyes locked on the Predator shooter game that just emptied up.

Beatrice clears her throat and admits, “I should really head home. It’s a school night.”

“Oh,” Ava says with a nod, although she feels a strange pang of sadness hit her.

Weird.

“Yeah, no problem. You want me to walk you to your car?” Ava asks with a tilt of her head.

Beatrice shrugs, “If you want.” She is trying to feign nonchalant, but her eyes practically beg Ava to go with her. 

Ava smiles softly and turns to wave down Camila, who is already looking back at them curiously. She bounces over to join them, “What’s up?”

“Beatrice is going to head home, I’m going to walk her out,” Ava answers. Camila pouts and lets out a small “awwww.” But she smiles sweetly and says, “It was really nice hanging out, Beatrice! We should do it more often.”

Before Beatrice can respond, Camila pulls her into a hug and promptly skips away. Beatrice is left frozen, with a slight blush on her cheeks. Ava giggles and pulls her towards the door, “Come on, Casanova.”

The pair is hit by a cold burst of wind when they step out of the Arcade. Ava immediately brings her hands up to her bare arms. “Brrrrr, It got chilly,” she says with an exaggerated shake.

She doesn’t even have time to make any jokes or even laugh. Beatrice is already draping her coat over Ava’s shoulders gently. No questions asked.

“Oh,” Ava murmurs quietly, pulling the coat tighter around her body, “Thanks.” Her face immediately feels warmer.

Beatrice smiles softly, softer than Ava has seen before, and then begins walking towards her car with her hands stuffed in her pockets. 

Ava stands unmoving for a second before she catches up to walk in step with Beatrice. “Did you have fun?” Ava asks, tilting her head to see the other girl better. Beatrice looks over to her and nods, “I did. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it that much, I’ll admit.”

“So being friends with me wasn’t such a bad idea after all, huh?” Ava jokes with a smirk.

“Hmm, Jury is still out on that one,” Beatrice teases back.

Teases .

“Hey!” Ava retorts, swinging one of the sleeves of the coat to hit Beatrice’s arm lightly.

Beatrice chuckles as they reach her car. She opens the door and pauses before she enters. She turns to Ava with a more serious look on her face, “I really did. Have fun.”

Ava’s smile widens, “Good. We’ll do it again! Camila likes you.”

“She’s very sweet,” Beatrice responds with a nod, “I’ll see you in class, Ava.”

She swings her leg into her car and sits in the driver’s seat of the car. Before she closes the door, Ava pulls the coat off of her shoulders briskly.

“Oh, don’t forget this!” She attempts to push it towards Beatrice but the other girl holds her hand up.

“Just bring it tomorrow, It’s too cold out here for you without it,” Beatrice responds. 

Ava feels her face get even warmer as she pulls the coat back towards her.

“Goodnight, Ava,” Beatrice says with the same soft smile as before. 

“Night, Beatrice,” Ava responds.

Beatrice closes the car door and drives off. Ava watches her leave for a moment before pulling the coat back on her shoulders and turning back towards the arcade.

She pulls her phone out while she’s walking and sees a couple of texts waiting for her. But there’s only one she really cares about.

 

Shan the Man : I miss you more Ava!! I’ll visit soon, i promise <3

— b e a t r i c e —

The first thing Beatrice notices when she walks through the front door is that there is a light on deeper in the apartment. She takes off her shoes and places her keys in their designated bowl in the walkway.

As she walks into the living room she finds Lilith staring at her with her eyes narrowed and a book open on her lap.

“Where the hell have you been?” Lilith asks, closing her book abruptly and making Beatrice jump slightly. She is suddenly reminded of being reprimanded by her parents.

“I was just- Have you been sitting here waiting here for me?” Beatrice asks, growing more and more confused by the second.

“It’s a school night and you weren’t here. You didn’t even text me. You ignored my calls,” Lilith is practically growling as she stares daggers at Beatrice, “It’s 10:30 and you’re just now getting home.”

“Sorry mother , I wasn’t aware I had to tell you every time I'm going out,” Beatrice responds, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. Her frown feels foreign on her face after smiling all night.

Lilith scoffs and rolls her eyes, “I was worried about you, okay Beatrice?”

Beatrice softens at her best friend’s show of concern, “I’m sorry. My phone died after class.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” Lilith responds, standing up and placing her book on the side table, “What were you doing?”

Beatrice swallows. She doesn’t really want to admit that she spent her night out with Ava and Camila. For some reason she feels like it would irk Lilith. She was already mad enough that Beatrice didn’t join her at the lesbian bar the night before.

But Lilith is her best friend. They tell each other everything.

“I went to an arcade with Ava and-”

“With Ava?” Lilith interrupts, “She has a boyfriend!”

“Let me finish! She invited me out with her roommate,” Beatrice says, holding her hands up as if in surrender, “It was nothing. Just a friendly hangout.”

Lilith sighs and runs her hands over her face, “You’re going to get hurt, Beatrice.”

Beatrice fidgets with the hem of her shirt and shrugs, “She’s nice, Lilith. I like spending time with her.”

“And that’s a problem. You like spending time with her too much,” her roommate reasons. There is a silence that washes over them for a moment before Lilith adds, “Are you okay with just being her friend?”

Beatrice hesitates for a moment, before slowly nodding.

“Then I trust you. But if she does end up hurting you I will not hesitate to-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, please,” Beatrice says, with a tense sigh, before continuing, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was.”

Lilith rounds the couch and pats Beatrice's shoulder, “I have a way for you to make it up to me. And now you have to say yes.” She smiles mischievously and Beatrice groans.

 

Tuesday

Beatrice scoots her chair forward in the classroom and pulls her bag onto the table to start pulling out her supplies.

“Good noon,” a now familiar voice says beside her.

Beatrice turns, her hands paused in their search through her bag, and her eyes meet Ava’s. Beatrice pulls one hand out to check her watch, “You’re early, it’s only 11:55.”

“So it would be good morning this time,” Ava tsks, pulling out her chair and plopping into it unceremoniously, “I just can’t get it right, can I?”

Beatrice lets out a breathy laugh and Ava smiles widely at her before straightening up and pulling out her books. Beatrice follows her lead, beginning her process of organizing her items on the table in front of her.

“Fuck, I forgot your coat in my car,” Ava says abruptly after both of them have their supplies settled. She looks at Beatrice with an apologetic look, “But if you want to follow me over there after class I can give it to you.”

“Sure,” Beatrice agrees, maybe a little too enthusiastically. She feels desperate to spend more time with Ava and it's only a little bit embarrassing. She clears her throat before continuing, “Yes, that’s fine.”

“Cool,” Ava responds with one final smile before she turns to the open page of her notebook and starts doodling in the margin. Beatrice watches over the other girl’s shoulder.

A little star, multiple tightly wound swirls, the start of what seems like a side profile of a face.

Ava’s nose scrunches as she focuses and turns the pencil to erase a couple lines before drawing again. Just as she is redrawing the arch of the nose, the professor walks through the door and Beatrice snaps forward to pretend she wasn’t watching Ava at all.

-

After class, Beatrice does follow Ava out to her car. Their conversations are casual and mostly Ava rambling about everything and anything.

“-And Camila thinks that this girl might like her. She says that she has this like, badass energy going on and she’s kinda into it. I keep telling her to go shoot her shot but apparently every time she tries to go up to her she disappears into the night. Super mysterious, right?”

“I didn’t know that Camila likes girls,” Beatrice comments with her eyebrows raised a little.

“Oh, yeah. Most of my friends are at least a little bit queer,” Ava says with a shrug, “Why? Are you interested?” Her lips curl up into a sly smile but her eyes hold some sort of different emotion that Beatrice can’t quite place.

Beatrice shakes her head with a fond eye roll just as they reach Ava’s car. “Ah, here we are,” Ava says, patting the trunk lightly before pulling the back door open and grabbing Beatrice’s coat which is laid down delicately across the seat.

“Here you go,” Ava hands over the coat, “Thank you for letting me borrow it.” Beatrice tries to ignore the feeling similar to electricity that runs through her body when their hands brush briefly in the exchange.

“Of course,” Beatrice replies with a small dip of her head.

They stand there for a second, just looking at each other, not really knowing the next step. Ava’s eyes flick between both of Beatrice’s. It’s like they’re both frozen there. Both wanting something though they aren’t sure what.

Beatrice clears her throat and takes a step back, “I should go. I have another class soon.”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’ve gotta go anyway I’ve got… stuff,” Ava shuffles somewhat awkwardly, pointing her thumbs towards the driver seat door, “So I'll just… go. Okay, text me!”

Beatrice smiles back and gives a small wave before retreating back towards the buildings, forcing herself to not watch as Ava drives away.

 

— a v a —

Ava settles her head against the steering wheel and groans.

What the fuck was that?

 

Wednesday

Classes go by even quicker on Wednesday. Ava and Beatrice had agreed to meet up again after their classes (sadly, to do actual work this time).

They had finally picked their topic for the project. They would attempt to get DNA from strawberries using different liquids. Beatrice uses a lot more words to describe it but that’s the jist of what Ava picks up.

Today’s task, she’s been told, is to begin work on the research paper portion of the project. So they’re meeting in the library again.

Ava doesn’t mind. She knows that Beatrice enjoys being around the mountains of books. And she quite enjoys seeing Beatrice in the mountains of books.

She just wants the opportunity to see Beatrice in her element again. To see her be comfortable.

She arrives early again, secretly hoping that Beatrice would be there waiting with an open book again. Maybe she’ll read her another passage.

She finds her way to the same nook they had occupied before and finds it empty. She deflates a little bit but shakes it off quickly and pulls out one of the chairs to take a seat.

Ava decides it would be a perfect time to take a look at a couple of the photos she had taken for class this week. She pulls her camera out of her bag and flicks through some of the shots.

They’re simple. Mostly just long shots of the different landscapes surrounding the campus. A few treelines. A few shots near the lake. She finds one she is especially proud of. A closeup of a pair of frogs balancing on top of a lily pad near the bank.

“That’s nice,” Ava jumps as she hears a familiar British accent behind her. She turns to see Beatrice leaned forward slightly, looking at the viewfinder of the camera over Ava’s shoulder.

“God, Beatrice, you scared the shit out of me,” Ava says, putting her hand on her chest to calm down her heart rate. She’s not really sure if it picked up because she was spooked or because she could feel the other girl’s breath hit the side of her neck.

Cool it, Silva. What’s going on with you?

Beatrice laughs quietly and Ava feels it on her neck again. This time, Goosebumps appear on Ava’s skin without permission. Beatrice straightens and says, “I’m sorry.” although the smile on her face proves otherwise.

Beatrice rounds the table to take her spot across from Ava. “You’re early again,” Beatrice comments as she places her bag down on the table.

Ava rolls her eyes, “So are you.” Beatrice shrugs and pulls out a book. Ava recognizes it from their last meeting in this same spot.

“You don’t want to get started on the project now?” Ava asks, although she’d be happy to do just this for the rest of the night.

“Well, I came here early specifically to read. I wasn’t expecting you to also be here, which was my mistake, I will admit,” Beatrice says with a smile. “So may I?” she holds up the book with a questioning look.

She’s teasing. Ava has been noticing that she’s been doing it a lot more the past couple days. Making jokes. Poking fun at Ava. Laughing.

It’s nice. It’s easy. It makes Ava feel good. She likes having a new friend.

“By all means,” Ava says with a horrible attempt at a British accent. Beatrice cringes visibly before opening her book with an amused shake of her head.

They sit there in silence for a few moments. Beatrice reading, Ava staring at her camera. It should feel awkward, Ava knows, but it doesn’t. It just feels nice. Existing in the same space together.

Ava gets to the last picture on her memory card and looks up at Beatrice. She’s leaned back slightly in her chair, one hand holding the book open by its spine and the other settled on the right corner of the page, ready to flip at a moment’s notice. Her foot is pulled up into her knee and one of her elbows rests gently on the armrest of her chair.

Ava feels a tug in her chest, strong enough that it causes her to lift her camera and settle it against her own face. The picture focuses in and out a few times, adjusting to the dim lighting of the library.

There is the sound of a shutter as Ava clicks the button at the top of the camera.

Beatrice looks up with a quirked eyebrow, staring straight at the camera. Before she can say anything, there’s another shutter.

“What are you doing?” Beatrice muses with a roll of her eyes.

“Nothing! nothing,” Ava says with a wave of her hand, while still looking at Beatrice through the sight of the camera, “Do something profound.”

“Profound?” Beatrice says with a breath of a laugh, “What like this?” She pulls one of her hands towards her face and settles it on her chin. Her brow scrunches as she looks contemplatively at the book.

Another shutter.

She chuckles and then changes positions again, this time putting both hands on the bottom of the book and leaning her elbows onto the table in front of her. Her eyebrows are still scrunched and the bottom of her face is covered.

Another shutter.

“Now look at me,” Ava instructs, adjusting her position slightly so that Beatrice is directly in the center of the screen.

Beatrice looks up and her gaze softens almost immediately. There is no longer any tension in her brow as her light brown eyes shoot right through the camera and straight into Ava.

Ava takes a second to trace her face, taking in details she’s never noticed before. Like the freckles dusted across her nose and her cheeks. Or the strands of hair that frame her features after falling out of place. She sees specks of gold in her eyes that she’s never noticed before. Ava feels her mouth go dry.

She takes the picture and lowers the camera. Beatrice blinks a few times then leans back in her chair again, pulling her book back up with her. She clears her throat.

Ava is nervous that she somehow crossed a line. That she broke something already. But Beatrice flips a few pages back and says somewhat timidly, “I actually read one of these the other day I thought you might like.”

A smile reappears on Ava’s face, “really? Let’s hear it then.” The tension is immediately gone, replaced with something more akin to anticipation.

 

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.”

 

Beatrice looks up from the book to read Ava’s expression. There is a small smile still settled on Ava’s lips as she whispers

“Beautiful.”

 

Thursday

Ava finds class dreadfully boring on Thursday. She continues her pages of doodles with the occasional notes scribbled in. She knows that no one else in the world would be able to read what she’s written but that’s kind of the fun of it.

Beatrice seems a little closed off today. Not that she’s ever really talkative per say but she barely spares Ava her usual glances and their conversations are sparse.

Near the end of the lab portion of their class, Ava nudges Beatrice with her elbow. Beatrice turns with one of her eyebrows raised.

“Me and my friends-”

“My friends and I,” Beatrice corrects with a teasing smile.

There she is.

“Okay, Genius, my friends and I are going to go to see a movie tomorrow night. I think it’s called Warrior Nun or something,” Ava shrugs before continuing, “But I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with us.”

Beatrice swallows almost nervously, making Ava tilt her head in confusion.

“I’m sorry, Ava, I can’t,” Beatrice says, turning back to look at her notebook in front of her quickly. She stares down at the paper with a slight frown.

“Oh, that’s okay,”  Ava says, quickly trying to dispel whatever put Beatrice into lockdown mode. “You got a hot date or something?” she teases, elbowing Beatrice again.

“I have plans,” Beatrice says, her tone not matching Ava’s at all. She sounds almost upset. Irked.

“Oh, right, okay,” Ava says, deflating into her chair and feeling sort of like a kicked puppy.

They are silent for the rest of the class apart from polite farewells.

 

That was fucking weird.

 

 

Notes:

I've discovered I LOVE writing fluff so It's so difficult to keep this burning low and slow.

BUT i'm excited about the upcoming chapters ;)

Chapter 9: The Blind Date

Summary:

Ava frowns then turns her puppy dog eyes to Michael, “What about you, my favorite brother in the world? You would’ve saved seats for us, right?”

Camila joins Ava in her pout, putting her face right next to her best friend’s.

“I’m your only brother, Ava,” Michael says with a roll of his eyes, “And no.” He pushes both of their faces backwards. The two girls laugh and follow Mary forward in the line.

Notes:

SURPRISE!
bonus Thursday chapter!

This one was just going so well and I literally wrote most of it in one day so I wanted to get it to you guys as a thank you for reading and commenting and all that jazz! We passed 200 kudos now which is SO COOL. so thank you guys <3

okay, onto the important stuff ;)

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice stands in front of her closet with her arms crossed firmly. She lets out an aggravated breath and glances at her watch. She still has plenty of time but it’s steadily fading away while she attempts to find a suitable outfit.

She runs her hand over a couple of the shirts before groaning and backing up to sit on the foot of her bed. She drops her head into her hands. Panic has started to settle in.

Lilith had forced her to accept another set-up. This time, an actual date. A blind date.

In all honesty, Beatrice definitely would have preferred to take Ava up on her offer. She would rather go see a movie with Ava and her friends than whatever Lilith had set up.

Instead, she had pushed her away. Snapped at her. Made her feel as if she didn’t want to spend time with her at all. How was she supposed to fix that?

Beatrice doesn't know why it felt too difficult for her to just tell Ava that she did have a date. I mean, she even outright asked.

 

“You got a hot date or something?”

“I have plans.”

“Oh, right, okay.”

 

Beatrice rolls her eyes at the memory and falls back onto her bed. She was so rude for no reason and Ava seemed so disappointed.

But what was she supposed to say?

 

“I’m sorry Ava, my best friend is forcing me to go on a date so that I can get over you because I’m so enamored by you that I can’t think or breathe or do much of anything…. And you have a boyfriend.”

 

Before spending so much time with Ava, she would’ve added “and you probably don’t like girls” to the end of the sentence. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious that she at least feels some sort of attraction to women as well.

This thought process is just proving the extent of her captivation by her lab partner. Even as she is supposed to be preparing for a date, all she can think about is Ava.

 

Is Ava mad at me?

 

Will Ava still want to hang out with me after this?

 

Is Ava at the movies now?

 

Will Ava’s boyfriend be there with her?

 

Just as she is about to pull out her phone to give into her desire and text Ava to ask what she’s doing (Or maybe even be bold enough to tell her that she’s going on a date and needs advice), there is an abrupt knock on her door. 

Beatrice sits up quickly and clears her throat before calling out, “Yes?”

“I hope you’re getting ready in there, Young,” Lilith calls back through the door, “You need to leave soon.”

Beatrice walks to the door and pulls it open. Lilith’s eyes widen slightly. She looks Beatrice up and down. After her shower she had put on dark plaid pajama pants and a plain gray T-shirt. Her hair is down and still damp.

“Surely you aren’t wearing that,” Lilith says with the most judgemental tone Beatrice has ever heard from her, and that's saying something.

“Of course not, Lilith,” Beatrice replies, annoyance seeping into her tone. Then she shrugs, a little bit defeated, “I don’t know what to wear. Can you help me?”

Lilith’s face lights up. Or it lights up as much as it can for Lilith. She claps her hands together, “I thought you’d never ask.” She pushes past Beatrice to stare into the closet. 

-

After a few minutes, Lilith has an outfit set out on the bed. Black pants, a white tee, a light brown button up and a matching light brown belt. Lilith considers the ensemble with her hand on her chin. She nods once.

“Tuck the white one in, leave the brown one open, roll the sleeves, wear your brown boots” Lilith instructs sternly before leaving Beatrice standing in the same place she had been hovering since her friend entered the room.

“And do something with your hair,” Lilith calls out after she closes the door.

Beatrice looks down at the hair draped over her shoulders and then at the clothes laid out in front of her. She lets out a shaky exhale and finally starts getting ready.

-

Beatrice stands in front of the restaurant that had been chosen by Lilith for the date. It’s relatively fancy but not enough to require a reservation. 

“ Perfect for a first date,” Lilith had said when she brought up the plans.

Beatrice fidgets with her hands in front of her as she leans on an outside wall. She checks her watch, a movement that has mostly become a nervous tic for her. She wonders if it would be too late to cancel. No no, that would be rude.

“Beatrice?” an unfamiliar voice calls out her name. She looks up to see a woman with tan skin and wavy black hair that cascades down her shoulders walking almost elegantly towards her. Beatrice’s first thought is that she is definitely very pretty.

“Melanie?” Beatrice returns, walking to meet her halfway and holding out her hand in front of her. The woman lets out a breath of a laugh but takes her hand and shakes it delicately, “That’s me. It’s good to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Beatrice answers with a friendly smile. “Shall we?” she gestures towards the door of the restaurant.

They are led to a booth near the front of the restaurant and given their menus. The lighting is dim and yellow, coming from a single bulb hovering over each table. A tinted window next to their table barely shields them from the outside world.

“I’ll give you ladies a few minutes to look over the menu,” the waiter says with a smile, “Is there anything I can get you for now?”

“Just a water for me, please,” Beatrice requests before looking at Melanie.

“Water sounds amazing,” Melanie agrees with a smile towards the waiter.

“Perfect,” he responds with a nod of his head, “I’ll be right back with those.”

There are a few minutes of awkward silence as the two look over their menus. The tension starts to bother Beatrice and she fiddles with the bottom of the page. She’s reminded of all the moments of quiet between her and Ava. It’s never felt like this, even from the first day.

She thinks of Ava fidgeting in her lab seat. She thinks of Ava tapping her pencil ( Beatrice’s pencil) against her lip during the lecture. She thinks of Ava flipping through the pictures on her camera. She thinks of all of the quiet moments that have never felt as awkward as this. 

Beatrice forces the thoughts out of her head. She has a pretty girl right in front of her who is on a date with her. A girl who is single and interested (hopefully). There is literally no reason to think about Ava.

Beatrice swallows in preparation. She knows that she has to break this silence to save the date before it’s even really started.

“So-”

“How-”

They both speak up at the same time. A soft laugh settles over the both of them and Beatrice can feel her face get a little warm.

“You go first,” Melanie says, gesturing towards her with her head.

The waiter comes by at this point and places their waters in front of them with a polite smile and nod.

Beatrice clears her throat and asks, “So, how do you and Lilith know each other? Honestly, she wouldn’t tell me anything about you.”

“Figures. All she told me about you is that you two are roommates,” Melanie responds with a playful eyeroll, “We’re in Business Management together. We’ve made a sort of study club with a couple other people.”

Beatrice nods with a serious face, which makes Melanie laugh again. Beatrice is surprised with herself when she cracks a small smile, “What were you going to ask?” 

“How long have you lived in the U.S.? I’m hearing an accent,” Melanie asks with a tilt of her head. It reminds her achingly of Ava’s curious looks whenever she asks a question.

“Lilith and I moved here together at the start of university. So it’s been about… 3 years now,” Beatrice responds.

“And where are you from?” Melanie asks before sipping from her straw.

“England, London specifically,” Beatrice answers, “What about you?”

“I was born in France but we moved here when I was very young,” Melanie responds with a shrug, “So, no fancy accent for me.”

Just as Beatrice is going to respond with something way too basic like “Ahh i see” or “That’s interesting”, she’s saved by the waiter returning to the table for their orders.

Melanie goes first, ordering mozzarella sticks for the table and some sort of alfredo pasta for her main dish. Beatrice follows and orders stuffed mushrooms to share along with chicken parmesan for herself.

“How are classes going for you?” Melanie asks, “anything interesting?”

“I’ve been mostly focused on Biology so far this semester, strangely enough,” Beatrice answers. Her mind is back on Ava again as if on cue. She stares blankly at her glass for a moment.

“What’s your major?” Melanie’s voice pulls her out of her own head.

“Finance,” Beatrice answers, causing Melanie to furrow her brow slightly.

“So why has Biology caught your attention?” she questions. Her head tilts again and Beatrice swallows nervously. She chews on the inside of her cheek, contemplating her answer. 

Why has Biology caught her attention? Maybe it’s because it challenges her. It gives her something more to learn about that she isn’t already well-versed in. Maybe it’s because it gives her new skills that she can learn.

It’s an easier answer than that. Beatrice knows it. It isn’t Biology that’s caught her attention. It’s a girl with short brown hair and dark eyes and a smile brighter than the sun.

“What’s her name?” Melanie asks gently with a small smile on her lips.

Beatrice immediately straightens and pulls her hands together in front of her, “What do you mean?”

“I think you know,” Melanie’s smile softens even more.

“I’m not sure I do,” Beatrice responds, suddenly feeling clammy.

“There’s no shame in it,” Melanie reassures, placing one of her hands on top of Beatrice’s clasped fingers, “I can tell you’re a little bit… distracted.”

Beatrice stares at their hands for a moment. She wishes that she would be able to find more comfort in the touch. She wishes that she felt the urge to part her fingers and let Melanie intertwine theirs together across the table.

But again, all she can think about is when her and Ava’s hands brushed the other day passing a coat. The spark she felt then compared to the nothingness she feels now.

Beatrice sighs and drops her head in defeat. “Ava,” she whispers, only loud enough to be heard over the background noise of the restaurant, “Her name is Ava.”

She looks up to Melanie, expecting to see something like annoyance or even disgust, but all she sees is understanding in that same soft smile.

“Tell me about her,” Melanie says, giving Beatrice’s hand a slight squeeze before letting go and leaning back in the booth.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Beatrice says, moving to plant her elbow on the table and settle her head on top of her hand, “I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s funny and kind. She’s sharp. A quick learner. She’s very perceptive. She’s an artist. An astounding photographer. She can’t sit still for the life of her. She makes stupid jokes that somehow still make me laugh.”

Beatrice trails off in a somewhat wistful laugh, “She looks at me like she knows everything there is to know about me… And sometimes it feels like she does.”

Melanie smiles and leans forward a little bit, “Beatrice, I could only dream of someone talking about me like that. What’s stopping you?”

“Stopping me from what?” Beatrice asks right before the waiter arrives with their food. He places the plates in front of them and leaves rather quickly, picking up the tense vibe of the table.

“What’s stopping you from going after her? Telling her how you feel?” Melanie finishes with a small shrug.

Beatrice is quiet for a moment. She picks up her fork and pokes at the chicken on her plate. “She has a boyfriend,” Beatrice admits while still looking down at her food, “Lilith is forcing me on dates to get over her.”

“Oh, Ma chérie,” Melanie sighs with a shake of her head, “I’m so sorry.”

Beatrice shrugs and takes a bite of food. Once she swallows, she says apologetically, “I’ve effectively ruined this date. So, I’m sorry.”

“Well, while I agree that fawning over another girl during a first date is definitely a deal breaker, I do think we could be good friends,” Melanie responds before taking a bite of her own food.

Beatrice smiles at this and feels an overwhelming flood of both relief and happiness. She does like Melanie. She knows that they could get along really well. And while she is noticeably attractive and very sweet, Beatrice wouldn’t be able to commit to anything romantic with her. Even going on this date at all felt like some sort of betrayal.

To Ava. To Melanie. Even to herself.

“I think so too,” Beatrice answers contently, “Friends.” The two smile at each other warmly and continue their meal.

 

— a v a —

Ava skips ahead in front of Camila as they reach the theater. “Come on, slow poke,” she says, turning around to look at her friend, “Michael and Mary should be here already.”

Camila laughs as she picks up her own pace to match Ava’s.

They reach the front desk, pay for their tickets and soon enough they’re inside the huge lobby. They both take a second to look around, searching for their friends.

“There they are!” Camila points to the concession line where their drummer and (newly assigned) guitarist are standing side by side, staring up at the huge LED menu above the counters.

Ava and Camila share a glance and are suddenly in silent agreement. They stalk up to the pair quietly, careful to avoid any stray popcorn on the floor that could compromise their position. When they reach them, Ava starts counting down with her fingers.

After one, both of them hop forward and whisper-yell “Boo!”

They do get Michael, who jumps and turns to them with a frown. Mary however, stays stoic and turns towards them evenly, “About time, We thought we would have to find seats without you.”

Ava gasps, putting her hand on her chest dramatically. “You would’ve saved some for us, wouldn’t you?” Ava asks with a slight pout.

“No,” Mary answers, turning back around to walk forward in the line.

Ava frowns then turns her puppy dog eyes to Michael, “What about you, my favorite brother in the world? You would’ve saved seats for us, right?”

Camila joins Ava in her pout, putting her face right next to her best friend’s.

“I’m your only brother, Ava,” Michael says with a roll of his eyes, “And no.” He pushes both of their faces backwards. The two girls laugh and follow Mary forward in the line.

A few minutes later the group carries an assortment of snacks. Mary holds the largest tub of popcorn in existence for all of them to share, Michael holds a stack of various boxes of candies, And Camila and Ava both hold a drink in either hand.

It’s a fool proof method they’ve used every time they’ve gone to the movies since the beginning of their high school careers. That was, until JC joined them.

If he was here, he’d hold his nachos in one hand and his own drink in the other. He’d probably complain about not being part of the loop. Ava rolls her eyes at the thought, but then she wonders what Beatrice would hold if she was here. 

Would she get nachos too? Ava doubts it, she doesn’t seem like the type. Maybe she’d get a soft pretzel. That , Ava could see. She imagines that she’d lean over and try to steal a piece. Beatrice would roll her eyes or chuckle but let it happen.

God, she really wishes Beatrice would’ve come with them. She wonders what the other girl is up to.

As she pulls out her phone to send her a text, the movie starts playing on the screen. She sighs and puts her phone away, making a mental note to text her when she gets home.

-

“That movie was so good, guys!” Ava exclaims as they leave the theater, waving her hands in front of her excitedly, “Like when she threw the sword up and phased through that guy. Then turned and stabbed him with it!”

She mimes stabbing forward with a sword with a serious look on her face, before she drops her hands again with a laugh.

“My favorite part was when the badass chick kicked the wannabe hero off the mountain,” Mary says, pushing Ava to the side with a playful smile.

The group chats about random bits of the movie as they walk down the street towards the parking garage. Ava takes a second to look at a few of the shops as they pass by. 

They pass the clothing store where Ava had (literally) bumped into Beatrice. They pass a bookstore that Ava assumes Beatrice visits often. They pass a restaurant that Beatrice is sitting inside of.

 

Wait.

 

What?

 

Ava stops in her tracks as she stares through the widow across the street. It wasn’t her imagination. There Beatrice is, sitting inside a restaurant after she said no to Ava’s invite. With a girl. A really really pretty girl.

And they’re laughing and smiling and leaning forward on the table. And the girl is holding Beatrice's hands across the table.

Ava feels her stomach drop.

Of course. She had plans. She did have a hot date tonight. That’s why she got so defensive about it.

 

I’m such an idiot

 

She swallows the sudden lump she feels in her throat.

The rest of the group doesn’t seem to notice Ava’s pause and continue their walk, all except Camila, who lags back to grab Ava’s arm.

Her smile turns concerned as she sees the sudden change in her friend’s demeanor.

“Ava? What-“ Camila follows Ava’s gaze into the restaurant. She catches sight of Beatrice through the window and immediately understands. “ Oh , Ava,” she sighs out, giving Ava’s arm a squeeze.

Ava shakes her head and smiles as she turns to look back at Camila. “What? I just didn’t expect to see her, it’s fine” Ava responds, suddenly back to being chipper, “Come on, let’s go.”

Her smile widens. Camila frowns in return but allows Ava to pull her back towards their friends.

-

They come across Mary’s car first in the garage, then Michael’s. They hug each other goodbye as normal.

Ava is quieter than usual as they continue their trek home. Her happy persona had slowly fallen as they got to Camila’s car. As they drive towards the apartment, Ava stares out the window, humming occasionally to the music.

When they arrive, Ava goes directly to her room with only a small “goodnight” to Camila. Camila opens her mouth to say something but closes it as Ava’s door shuts with a quiet click.

Ava sits on the edge of her bed and rubs her palms against her legs. She lets out a labored breath. She doesn’t truly understand why she’s suddenly feeling like shit.

She knows that she needs something to do before she gets pulled into a panic attack. She feels the knot in her stomach and the buzz surrounding her head.

Ava stands suddenly and picks up her acoustic guitar from its stand in the corner. She sits on the stool set up next to it and experimentally plucks a couple chords. She tunes one of the strings and strums a couple times, nodding at the satisfactory sound.

She starts up one of her favorite songs to play on her acoustic.

 

~ Now Playing : Sparks by Coldplay ~

 

Ava strums out the beginning chords and starts singing quietly with her eyes closed softly.

 

Did I drive you away?

I know what you’ll say

You say, “Oh, sing one we know”

 

Her head nods along with the music and her foot taps the ground in time.

 

But I promise you this

I’ll always look out for you

Yeah, that’s what I’ll do

I say, “ohh”

I say, “ohh”

 

As she finishes carrying out the high note, she picks up her head and notices Camila leaning on the doorway with her arms crossed in front of her. Ava slowly stops playing, and lowers the guitar to the floor, settling her hands on top of the head.

“Ava,” Camila says gently, finally entering the room to sit on the foot of Ava’s bed, “Tell me what’s going on.”

Ava sighs, “I really don’t know, Cam.” She puts her chin on top of her hands. After a few quiet moments, she speaks up again, “Maybe it’s just feelings about JC coming back up. I mean this whole week I’ve been kind of pushing any thoughts of it away. Keeping myself occupied or whatever.”

Camila nods but doesn’t seem convinced, “Maybe.” She opens and closes her mouth a few times, debating whether to say more. Finally, she decides, “Or maybe it has something to do with Beatrice?”

Ava turns her head so that her cheek rests on her hands. “I mean it sucks that she couldn’t come to the movies. And she was a little bit short with me yesterday. But I can't be mad at her for going on a date. I’m not mad at her.”

At this point Ava doesn’t know if she’s trying to convince Camila or herself. 

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with her, Ava,” Camila says gently, “Do you think maybe you might-”

“She’s my friend,” Ava responds, cutting her roommate off, “We’re friends. And I’m- I’m glad she went on a date. She deserves it.”

“Okay, but-” Camila tries again.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Cam. Can we just drop it?” Ava says a little more intensely than she was intending. “Please,” she adds in a softer tone. 

Camila nods with a small soothing smile in an attempt to placate her best friend. She stands and pats the top of Ava’s head before heading towards the door. 

“You know I’m here if you ever do want to talk about it,” Camila says as her hand reaches the doorknob.

“I know,” Ava answers with a nod, “Thank you.”

Camila closes the door and Ava pulls the guitar back up to continue playing.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice has to practically beg Melanie to let her pay the bill in full before they leave the restaurant. “It’s the least I can do for being the absolute worst date in existence.”

Soon enough, they both go their separate ways, exchanging phone numbers and promising to keep in touch. Beatrice actually has high hopes for their friendship. Their conversations were quite nice after her impromptu speech about Ava.

She feels pretty upbeat as she drives home, tapping against her steering wheel and singing along with the songs that play off her playlist. She’s not sure why she feels so happy. It’s not as if just talking about how she feels about Ava will magically allow them to be together.

Maybe it’s the prospect of a new friend. Or maybe it’s that she’s realizing that she doesn't need to be with Ava romantically at all. She can be there for her as a friend and spend time with her and it never has to be more than that. She can deal with that.

Suddenly Beatrice remembers how she rejected Ava’s invitation so adamantly the day before. She would have to fix that as soon as possible. She runs through some options in her head.

She could wait until Tuesday and apologize during class. But that would be a whole 4 days away. It’s a quick no for that option.

She could text her directly saying “I’m sorry.” A viable option but a bit direct, maybe a little too serious for the situation. 

She could call her. That seems even more serious. They have yet to call each other, communicating solely through text or in person. Would Ava even want to call and talk to her? Beatrice shakes her head. That’s too much for right now.

As she walks up to her building, a small cat strolls out of the bushes with a demanding meow. It’s a young orange and white tabby, and can’t be more than a few months old. It walks up to her confidently and weaves itself through her legs.

“Hello there,” Beatrice coos as she crouches down to give the cat the scratches he so desperately desires. He purrs against her hand and butts his head into her knee. 

Beatrice smiles and pulls out her phone and takes a picture of him. She debates for a second, looking at her text message threads on her screen. The cat bumps his head into her phone lightly and Beatrice takes this as a sign.

She pulls up Ava’s text conversation and sends the picture along with a message.

Me : I found this little guy today.

Beatrice stops for another moment, fingers frozen above the keyboard. The cat mews between her legs and Beatrice smiles. 

Me : He kind of reminds me of you.

 

— a v a —

Ava lays on her back on her bed staring at her text messages. She zooms in on the picture Beatrice sent of the cat and then looks back at the messages.

“He reminds me of you.”

Ava lets out a shaky breath before tossing her phone lightly to the other side of the bed. She covers her face with her arms and exhales again.

 

What do you want from me, Beatrice Young?

 

 

Notes:

I know, I know, more angst.
Trust me, It's hurting me too because I want to write fluff for them SO BAD after getting a taste last chapter.

BUT new chapter is still coming out on Monday so be ready :D

Chapter 10: The Confrontation

Summary:

Ava chews on her cheek for a second, battling a mental war with herself. Maybe she’s finally realizing what’s wrong. Camila tried to tell her before but she didn’t want to listen. She couldn’t wrap her head around it or accept it. She inhales deeply and decides it’s finally time to voice the thoughts in her head.

Notes:

Accidently made this the longest chapter yet at 5.2k words.
Idk why I did that to myself when I posted a bonus chapter last week but I guess I just love to make myself suffer.

ANYWAY, hope you guys like this one!

 

— a v a —

It’s a rather uneventful weekend for Ava. Saturday which would usually be spent at a gig or a party is instead spent watching reality TV and playing the switch. Beatrice has texted a few times throughout the day, seemingly trying to get Ava’s attention.

Ava texts back short replies when she does even respond.

 

Beatrice : What are you doing today?

Me : nothing

Beatrice : Do you want to hang out somewhere?

 

She should feel excited that Beatrice has taken it upon herself to invite her to hang out. Instead, she just feels a little annoyed and leaves her on read.

When it gets to around 6:00, she regrets not taking her up on the offer, splayed face down across the couch bored out of her mind. 

Camila rounds the corner of the couch and leans back on the armrest

“What are you doing, weirdo?” She asks with a chuckle, pushing Ava’s foot a little where it rests on the foot of the couch.

Ava twists just enough so that she can look back at her friend. “Slowly dying from boredom,” she answers, “How about you?”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Camila responds with an over exaggerated pout, “Well, if you ask very very nicely you can come with me to dinner at Mother’s.”

Ava perks up immediately, “You’re going to see Suzanne?” She gets up quickly with a bright smile and starts moving towards her bedroom. “I’ll be ready in 10!” she calls out as she closes her door.

Camila shakes her head with a soft smile as she watches Ava leave, then she sits down fully on the couch and pulls out her phone to wait.

-

A short time later, Ava bounces on the balls of her feet as she stands with Camila at the front door of a quaint two story home. Camila knocks on the door loudly and it opens almost immediately.

“Ah, if it isn’t my two favorite troublemakers,” A woman says as she steps through the doorway, leaning lightly on a cane at her side. Camila steps forward quickly and pulls her into a hug. Suzanne curls her free arm around the girl and pats the back of her head.

As they break away, she keeps hold of Camila’s arm. “You look good, coccinella.” Camila smiles bashfully, “Thank you, Mother.”

When the pair let go of each other, Ava immediately surges forward, making Suzanne stumble a little bit. She lets out a short laugh.

“It’s good to see you too, Ava,” Suzanne says as she hugs her back. Ava nuzzles into her shoulder for a second before pulling away with a bright smile. “I’ve missed you, Susie,” she says, her smile falling just a little bit, “It’s been too long since I've come to visit.”

Suzanne shakes her head with a tsk, “You’re both very busy girls, I understand.” She then gestures towards the inside of the house, “Now come, dinner is almost ready.”

Immediately as they enter, Ava is hit with delicious smells filling her senses. “What are we having?” Camila asks as they make their way to the kitchen. She attempts to look in the various pots and pans on the stovetop, but she’s distracted as she’s hit lightly with the wooden spoon that her mother picked up.

“Nuh-uh, it’s a surprise,” Suzanne scolds, moving her body in front of the girls to shield their vision, “Now, be good and go set the table.” Ava and Camila both laugh and comply quickly.

Soon enough, dinner is served. The table is jam packed with soups and pastas that Ava doesn't even know the names of. Just as she’s taking her first bite of her Minestrone soup (quite possibly the only one she does actually know), her phone buzzes in her pocket.

Camila and Suzanne are engaged deep into their conversation, so Ava pulls her phone out under the table to check her text messages. It’s from Beatrice.

She feels a mixture of emotions when she sees her name on her screen. The first is something like butterflies. The second is more like her stomach dropping. In all it feels like whiplash.

She unlocks her phone to see what was sent. A picture is the first thing to pop up. It’s the same orange and white cat from the day before, with both of his paws on Beatrice’s knee, stretching up to sniff at Beatrice’s outstretched hand.

 

Beatrice : He’s here again. I think he likes me.

Beatrice : Should I give him a name?

 

Ava smiles despite her conflicting feelings. Before she can respond to the text, Suzanne’s voice cuts through the air, “And what are you smiling about over there?” Ava looks up to see both Suzanne and Camila looking at her with the same expression. One eyebrow raised and a mischievous smile pulling at one side of their face.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that those two aren’t related by blood. Camila is so much like Suzanne, it’s insane.

Ava rolls her eyes and shakes her head. She puts her phone back into her pocket, “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you,” Suzanne responds, squinting her eyes disbelievingly. Of course Suzanne could see right through her. She’s known Ava just as long as she’s known Camila. Ava practically lived with them before she was adopted, and even then she was over all the time.

“Is it that boy? What was his name again?” Suzanne looks to Camila for the answer. Ava swallows thickly and Camila widens her eyes and makes a cutting motion with her hand by her throat, signaling for her mother to drop the conversation.

“J.C.” Ava answers, surprising Camila, who turns back to her with her eyes still wide, “and no. We actually broke up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, little one,” Suzanne says with a suddenly sorrowful look on her face.

“Don’t be,” Ava says with a shake of her head, “I deserve better.” She looks to Camila, who nods purposefully in agreement. An encouraging smile is spread across her face.

“Well then, I hope you find that,” Suzanne responds, reaching across the table to squeeze Ava’s hand.

“Yeah, me too,” Ava responds, her voice trailing off. She blinks a few times before reaching for a piece of bread from a bowl on the table.

I really hope I find that…

-

Sunday goes by even slower. Nothing comes up for a distraction so she is left to her own thoughts all day.

As she makes breakfast:

She still doesn’t know why she feels so upset. Is she mad at Beatrice? She is avoiding her pretty harshly, so she thinks that might be the case.

 

As she takes a shower:

She’s not even sure why she’s mad anymore. She just knows that at this point she still isn’t ready to not be upset. Maybe she just needs some time away to settle her own thoughts.

 

As she works on a sketch in her room:

She was spending too much time with Beatrice and it was throwing everything off, that’s it. She just needs to keep back a little.

 

As she finally lays down for the night:

It’s not like Beatrice was even into the friendship that much to begin with-

Her phone lights up on her bedside table. Ava reaches over to see Beatrice’s name on her notifications. She winces a little bit, having just been proven wrong.

She sighs as she picks up the phone.

 

Beatrice : Hi.

 

It’s simple. Short. So much unlike Beatrice that Ava would believe that someone else stole her phone to send the shortest text ever.

 

Me : hey

Beatrice : How are you?

 

The response is immediate. It makes Ava hesitate for a minute. This question is too complicated to answer honestly

“Hey Beatrice, I actually can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m mad at you and I don’t really know why other than the fact that it involves you going out on a date. So I’m feeling pretty upset right now. And bored. So bored.”

 

Me : i’m fine

Me : you?

 

This time there is a pause. Little dots pop up every so often to indicate Beatrice is typing on the other end of the phone. 

Finally,

 

Beatrice : I’m alright.

Me : good

Me : i miss you

 

Ava quickly erases the text draft and groans as she sets the phone on her chest. After a few minutes, she feels it buzz.

 

Beatrice : Would you want to study tomorrow? We could meet in the library again.

 

Ava doesn’t even open the text fully. She just places her phone face-down on her bedside table and curls deeper into her blankets.

It takes a while as she forces her body to stay still and her eyes to stay shut, but eventually Ava falls asleep.

-

Monday passes and is mostly uneventful other than the fact that they start up band practices again. It goes pretty well. Michael really does know the songs like the back of his hand, and Ava will be forever grateful that he has gone to almost every practice since they started the band.

Together the band calls Duretti and lets him know that they can play this weekend. He is ecstatic and tells them he’ll start promoting their gig on Saturday as soon as possible.

-

Tuesday, Ava rushes as she unlocks her phone to look at the time.

Shit 12:05.

Already late.

She truly hadn’t intended to run behind. She just pressed snooze too many times on her alarm to get ready. She got distracted with the tik toks on her For You Page and then a buzzfeed quiz about what kind of bagel she would be (cinnamon raisin with cream cheese, if you were curious).

It definitely wasn’t because she was overthinking about seeing Beatrice. It wasn’t because she was thinking about what she would even say to her after avoiding her all weekend. It wasn’t.

She finally bursts through the door of the lecture room at 12:10. Similar to her first day, every head in the room turns to her at once. Ava ducks her head in an apology and takes a seat. She knows that she won’t be able to focus if she takes her usual spot.

Beatrice is there, looking at her with a worried expression as Ava leaves a gap chair between them. She only glances at Beatrice briefly before locking her eyes to the blackboard.

She feels horrible as class continues, keeping her gaze on the professor and forcing herself not to steal her usual glances at her lab partner. 

The feeling intensifies as they walk to the lab. “How was your weekend?” Beatrice asks with a sort of nervous tone. Ava stops herself from scoffing.

 

She didn’t do anything wrong, Ava.

 

Ava swallows and replies, “It was fine. How was yours?” She regrets the question as soon as it leaves her mouth. She doesn’t want to hear about her weekend. She doesn’t want her to mention her date.

A sudden thought pops up in her head. What if it wasn’t just a date? What if that girl is her girlfriend?

It’s a new thought. a new thing to overthink about at night when she can’t sleep.

While Ava’s mind reels with worse case scenarios, It’s Beatrice’s turn to be quiet for a moment. She seems to debate a couple things in her own head before responding, “It was okay.”

Ava feels her jaw tighten as they reach the room. 

She’s quiet again as they perform the lab for the day, only replying with variations of agreements. “Okay” “yeah” “sure”.

Beatrice notices. Ava knows that she notices because she feels her eyes on the side of her head throughout the class.

Ava also knows that she’s being ridiculous. There is no reason for her to be acting this way. She’s being rude.

Maybe she has some abandonment issues. It’s certainly a touchy subject for her. She can realize that she might be acting a little unreasonable. But maybe this is better for her. She won’t get attached. Attachment leads to pain when they inevitably leave or worse.

When class is dismissed, Ava has said roughly 20 words to Beatrice total. She gets up to leave, having already packed her stuff before the professor called out that they were free to go.

As she moves to leave the table, she feels a hand wrap around her forearm. Ava feels goosebumps arise on her skin immediately. She follows the hand with her eyes and finally finds Beatrice’s face.

For someone who is usually so stoic, Ava can read her expressions perfectly. Beatrice is nervous. Worried. Probably a little confused. It softens Ava’s suddenly hardened exterior.

“I-I’m sorry,” Beatrice says, releasing Ava’s arm and placing her hand back into her lap, “I just- Can we-”

The stuttering feels foreign from Beatrice. She is usually so calculated and knows exactly what to say. Now, it’s as if she can’t find the right words. 

Beatrice sighs before starting again, “Can we work on the project tomorrow? Here in the Lab?” Her eyes look back and forth between Ava’s, seeming to search for something. When Ava doesn’t respond immediately she adds, “Please.”

Ava swallows and then nods once before turning on her heels and walking out of the room.

 

What am I doing?

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice truly doesn’t understand what’s going on with Ava. Every time she tries to talk to her it’s like she just gets pushed away instantly. It’s a total 180 from last week. Before, it was like Ava couldn’t stay away from her and wanted to spend time with her every day. Now it’s as though she wants to get away from her as fast as she can

She had the feeling she was being avoided all weekend. Any attempt to hang out was ignored. Any text asking about working on the project was left on read. It didn’t necessarily make her feel good.

Beatrice wonders if this is how Ava felt when they first started texting. If she felt the same pain in her chest every time she was left unanswered.

She reasons with herself that this is a different situation. They’re friends now. At least, that’s what Ava had said. 

The main thing that’s bothering Beatrice is that she doesn’t really know what she did wrong. Is it because she didn’t join her at the movies? Or is it because of the way she rejected her invite? Or were the pictures of her new cat friend too much?

She thinks about all of this as she walks towards the lab building on Wednesday. She made sure to inform the Professor and TA that her and Ava would be occupying the lab and they had quickly confirmed with her.

Beatrice opens the door at exactly 7:29. She sets her bag down on their usual lab table and pulls out a package of strawberries. Today she is planning on doing somewhat of a practice before actually attempting their lab, just to make sure they have everything they need.

Strawberry DNA extraction. Should be easy enough. 

She finishes setting up what they’ll need and glances at her watch : 7:45. Beatrice feels her jaw tighten.

She’s been pretty understanding up until this point. As understanding as she can be, seeing as she has absolutely no idea what is going on. But this was a planned meeting. Ava knew that and is still late.

She has been trying not to push. She’s been trying to give her as much space as she needs. But now Beatrice feels like she’s going crazy. 

And it’s making her crazy that even despite all of this, she can’t stop thinking about Ava. She still feels desperate for her attention, maybe more so than before. She still feels pulled towards her. She wants to make her smile or laugh. She wants to make her-

Beatrice sets down a box of empty slides a little too roughly on the table. She winces and lays her palms flat on the table on their side of the box, dropping her head to take a couple of steadying breaths.

Just as she is about to take her phone out to text Ava, the door opens and Ava walks inside. She seems calm, even though there are a couple of beads of sweat on her brow.

“Sorry,” she says, not sounding apologetic at all, “I had plans that ran a little late.”

Beatrice feels her stomach tighten as she watches Ava walk up to their table. Was that a jab? Was she bringing up the fact that Beatrice had plans on friday? Was she trying to get her back for it somehow?

Beatrice shakes her head and looks back down at the box in front of her, pulling out a slide before answering, “It’s fine, I was just getting started.”

Ava doesn’t say anything else. She lifts herself onto the edge of the lab table, letting her legs dangle off the sides as she watches Beatrice’s hands as they work.

Beatrice pauses and looks over at her again, her brow furrowing, “What are you doing? Get off of there.”

Ava rolls her eyes but stays in her spot, picking up a strawberry from the open container and inspecting it for a second before putting it back. Beatrice rolls her eyes in return but doesn’t repeat herself. 

 

What is wrong with her lately?

 

Beatrice works on replicating the lab, filling up various test tubes with various liquids. Ava does nothing except glance at Beatrice every so often. Beatrice feels herself grow more annoyed.

But she finds that every so often she can’t help but look at Ava’s legs as they kick out underneath her. She can’t help but watch as Ava’s arms flex when she moves to lean back and support herself on the table. She can’t help but look at Ava’s neck as she looks up to the ceiling and lets out a bored breath.

Beatrice snaps herself out of the trance Ava has put her in, and focuses again at the task at hand.

“Are you going to help me or just sit there all night?” Beatrice asks, surprising herself with her own tone. 

“You seem to be doing just fine,” Ava replies after a second. Beatrice feels Ava staring at her for a moment before she turns away again.

Several more minutes pass. Eventually, Beatrice starts cleaning up, annoyed that Ava has done nothing for the hour that they’ve spent in the lab. Beatrice starts putting away the last of the equipment as she finishes washing it off.

As if suddenly feeling the need to help, Ava starts drying off a few of the items before placing them back in their respective boxes. 

She reaches across the table to place the last test tube in its place, but it slips from her hand as she does so. It falls in slow motion before clattering into the sink, shattering immediately on impact. 

“Are you serious?” Beatrice snaps, frustration seeping into her voice as she turns her body to fully face Ava. She pauses for a moment, feeling her anger rise up out of her chest as she breathes.

Ava seems taken aback but she frowns and starts, “I was just trying to-”

Suddenly, Beatrice is speaking again, “You were late to class yesterday and then you barely even spoke to me. You ignored me all weekend after you practically begged to be around me last week. And now you aren’t even trying. You’ve sat here this whole time ignoring the work and now you’re acting like a child, Ava.”

She stops to take a breath, enough time for Ava to try to talk again, “It was an accident, I don’t-”

Beatrice interrupts again, “What’s going on with you? You’re acting like I did something to you when I haven’t done anything wrong. You’re being so fucking frustrating!” This has nothing to do with the test tube anymore.

Ava’s brow furrows. A normal occurrence for Beatrice but it feels foreign on Ava’s face. Beatrice falters and feels her own face fall. She immediately thinks about apologizing. Thinks about grabbing Ava’s hands and squeezing them lightly. Thinks about kissing the top of her head or pulling her into a hug. 

But instead she turns back to continue packing everything up, carefully moving around the broken glass. Ava is deathly quiet. She turns back away from Beatrice, staring at the far corner of the room. Suddenly, her voice cuts through the silence of the room.

“You wanna know what I think?” Ava speaks too loudly as she pushes off the edge of the lab table.

She takes a few steps away from Beatrice before spinning around to look at her, hands folded behind her back. “I think that you like that I've been frustrating you,” She pauses before continuing, “No…” She takes a step forward, “I think you crave it.” 

This is out of nowhere. Beatrice swallows as she watches Ava’s slow walk towards her. She feels herself back up on instinct.

“Excuse me?” Beatrice folds her arms in front of her, trying desperately to ignore the sudden heat she feels on her ears, creeping towards her cheeks. Beatrice has never seen Ava act like this before. 

“Everything around you has to be so perfect all the time. But when I’m around, it’s not,” Ava takes another step forward, leaning her torso forward as she walks. Her voice is lower than usual, smoother.

Ava’s head tilts slightly as she continues, “It’s imperfect and brash and reckless, and that bothers the shit out of you.” Ava takes one more step forward, now hovering in Beatrice’s space. 

Her voice lowers to almost a whisper, “But you love it. It’s like a thrill for you.” Her eyes glance to Beatrice’s lips briefly, almost imperceptibly. Almost .

What bothers Beatrice the most is that she knows Ava is right. Even though she feels annoyed and frustrated, she still ultimately feels drawn to Ava. A moth to a flame. 

She finds herself looking down at Ava’s lips as well. Very briefly but enough for both of them to notice. Beatrice swallows thickly. 

Ava speaks impossibly quieter, “You crave it.”

There is a hitch in Beatrice’s breathing, one she’s sure that Ava can hear, if the smile that pulls up on her lips is any indication. Beatrice blinks twice before setting her jaw and turning abruptly, shouldering Ava out of the way. She grabs her bag from the floor and storms towards the exit.

Her hand hesitates before turning the handle as she speaks over her shoulder, voice forced, “We have class tomorrow at noon. Do not be late.”

Beatrice barely hears Ava’s non-committal hum of agreement before she slams the door shut behind her, breathing heavy in her own ears.

 

— a v a —

Ava flinches as the door slams closed and immediately slumps into the stool Beatrice had been sitting in. She brings her hands up to her face and rubs her temples harshly.

 

Why did I just do that?

 

She crossed a line. She knows that. But Beatrice had hurt her. She snapped at her and Ava responded. She didn’t wait for a conversation. She didn’t even admit to her why she was acting the way she was. Ava doesn’t even really know what came over her. It was like her mouth just started moving without her permission.

She sighs deeply and starts cleaning up the glass that was left behind in the sink. Eventually, She finds her way out of the building and into her car. She’s not sure whether or not she’s thankful for the fact that she doesn’t catch sight of Beatrice as she leaves.

She sits there in the parking lot for a minute, long enough for the light drizzle on her windshield to turn to harder droplets of rain. She inhales a calming breath and starts her drive home.

-

Camila isn’t home when Ava gets there. The only reason Ava knows this is because her car is missing from its usual spot under their unit’s car port. She doesn’t know whether she is relieved or upset at this revelation.

On one hand, she would like to talk to someone about all of the things she’s feeling. On the other hand, she doesn’t know if it should be Camila.

Camila sees through her too easily. Camila would push her too hard. Camila knows her way too well.

Ava sheds off her jacket as she enters the apartment, placing it on its hook near the front door. She pulls out her phone as she walks towards her room. When she sees a text from Shannon asking about how her day was, she gets an idea.

She presses the call button at the top of her screen and pulls the phone up to her ear. After two rings, she hears a familiar voice call out through the speaker.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, Shan!”

 

“Ava! Hi!

How are you? I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too.

I’m good.”

 

“Uh oh.”

 

“What?”

 

“You saying you’re good, I don’t believe you.”

 

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

 

Ava flops back on her bed, one hand holding her phone up to her ear and the other covering her eyes.

 

“You’re calling me at 9:00 at night.

That’s not exactly normal for you.”

 

Ava hums, admitting her own defeat. They both sit on the line in silence for a few moments. As if they're both waiting for the other to fill the space.

 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

 

“I don’t know, Shannon.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now.”

 

“Well you’re going through a breakup

That’s tough for anybody.”

 

Ava groans and flips over to lay on her stomach. She keeps her upper body propped up with her elbows.

 

“But that’s not it.

I don’t feel upset because of J.C.

Honestly, I’m relieved.

I should’ve broken up with him a long time ago."

 

*Hum* “Then what’s the problem?”

 

Ava chews on her cheek for a second, battling a mental war with herself. Maybe she’s finally realizing what’s wrong. Camila tried to tell her before but she didn’t want to listen. She couldn’t wrap her head around it or accept it. She inhales deeply and decides it’s finally time to voice the thoughts in her head.

 

“I’m going to tell you something and you can't tell anyone else, okay?

Not even Mary. Especially not Mary.”

 

“Ooookaaay? What is it?”

 

“I think I might have… a crush?”

 

“OH MY GOD!”

 

Ava pulls the phone away from her ear as Shannon practically screeches into her microphone. 

 

“Shannon! Ouch!”

 

“Sorry! Sorry.

Well, what’s the problem?

It’’ll be good for you to get over that dirtbag.”

 

“I saw her out on a date with someone else.”

 

Shannon is quiet for a second.

 

“Oh, that’s it? I thought you had more to that.

So what she was on a date, Ava?

Have you asked her if she’s single?

Maybe she is just testing the waters.”

 

“Well, no-”

 

“Have you told her how you feel?”

 

*scoff* “ I’ve barely come to terms with it.”

 

“Well, why don’t you talk to her about it, Ava?

You never know if you don’t take your shot.”

 

“I’ve been kind of an asshole to her the past couple days.

And I blew up on her today.

I don’t even know if she’d want to talk to me at all anymore.”

 

“You don’t know if you don’t try.

Do you think she’s worth trying for?”

 

Ava feels a sudden knot form in her stomach. She knows the answer immediately. But how does she say that she’s come to the sudden realization that she’ll do anything for this girl. That J.C. didn’t make her feel half of what Beatrice does. How she blushes just hearing Beatrice say her name. How when Beatrice looks at her, Ava feels the need to be closer. To touch. To feel.

How does she say that even when Beatrice was snapping at her, she still felt pulled to her. She still wanted to grab her by her arms and tell her everything she felt. She still wanted desperately to pull her in and kiss her.

How does she say that all she’s been able to think about for the past few weeks is golden brown eyes and faint freckles and breathy laughs and soft smiles and-

 

“Ava?”

 

Ava blinks as if pulling herself out of some sort of trance. Is she worth it? The answer is painfully clear.

 

“She is.”

 

There is so much more to say but right now, this is enough. Enough of an admission. An acceptance of the truth that she had yet to fully comprehend.

Suddenly, Ava starts to feel her throat tense up. She feels her anxiety flaring up. With new emotions comes new worries. Everything feels like it’s happening at once.

 

“What if- What if she doesn’t want me?

Or- or what if she does and it turns out that I’m not good enough?

She’s so good, Shannon. What if I’m not enough?

And then she leaves me for it?

Or she finds someone else who’s better?

Her date the other night was so pretty, she looked like a model.

What if I’m not good enough?”

 

“Hey, no, hey don’t do that.

You’re more than enough. She’d be stupid to think otherwise.

You are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, Aves.

And you’re so fucking hot.

She’d be lucky to have you.”

 

Ava takes a steadying breath, letting Shannon’s words push back against the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She pulls at a loose thread on her sheet just to be able to do something with her hands.

 

“I don’t want her to leave, Shannon.

I really like her.”

 

“Then do something about it, Ava.

Go get her.”

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice’s trek back to her apartment is brisk.

Rain pelts the roof of her car as she drives and her mind runs a million miles a minute. 

 

What just happened?

 

She finds herself thinking this more and more often lately. She still feels the heat on her face even as she pulls into the parking garage. Even as she parks her car and finds her way to the elevators. 

She debates for a minute before turning to take the stairs instead, hoping maybe she’ll be able to shake off the mood she’s in as she climbs the steps. It doesn’t work. 

Ava is too reckless. She said it herself. And Lilith was right. Beatrice needs to get over her. She can’t keep thinking about her all the time. She can’t keep hurting herself by wondering what she’s done wrong. She can’t keep putting her studies to the side in favor of this girl.

Beatrice told herself that she wouldn’t get involved with anyone for this exact reason. It’s starting to seep into her education and mess up everything she’s been working towards.

She has to stop. Beatrice has to stop giving in to Ava and her charming smile and her terrible jokes. She has to harden up again and stop worrying about what every text and stray look means.

Back to calm, cool, and collected Beatrice Young.

When she finally reaches the inside of her and Lilith’s apartment, she shuts the door behind her harshly and drops her bag to the floor. Despite her own pep talk, she leans against the wood weakly and her head knocks against it. Her eyes close as she lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Notes:

Thoughts?? Theories?? I wanna hear them all!

(Also how do we feel about the call format? I'm currently not too sure about it)

Chapter 11: The Apology

Summary:

A small smile cracks across Ava’s face, causing Beatrice’s mouth to curve down in a slight frown. “You know,” Ava says, taking another step towards Beatrice, “For someone so smart, you really are an idiot sometimes.”

Notes:

You guys ever seen Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World? :)

— a v a —

There is a sense of rejuvenation that Ava feels as she walks towards class on Thursday. Not enough to be too early, but enough to make it to class on time with purpose.

Determination floods through her. She’ll apologize for whatever happened the day before and everything will be back to normal. The whole “Ava-has-a-huge-crush-on-Beatrice” part can be on the back burners for now.

As she opens the door to the lecture room, her eyes land on Beatrice immediately, not even needing to search through the dozens of heads. Beatrice doesn’t look at her as she enters. Ava doesn’t know whether she is disappointed or relieved by this.

Her talk with Shannon definitely put a few things into perspective for Ava. She shouldn’t have shut Beatrice out, she knows that now. She should’ve talked to her. Explained how she was feeling. Maybe not confess her seemingly sudden crush on her, but at least explain that she was upset when she saw Beatrice out in the town.

Instead, she had pushed her away and hurt both of them in the process. But Ava will fix this. She’ll make everything better again just as soon as she can talk it out with her.

“Morning, Beatrice,” Ava says gently as she sits in the seat right next to her.

The other girl stiffens in response but she is still painfully polite despite any discomfort, “Good morning.” She opens her notebook without another word and starts writing neatly at the top of her page.

Ava isn’t sure how to break the awkward silence settled over them. She brainstorms a few openers. “Hey” no. “Soooo” no. “Ummm” absolutely not. She finally settles on one.

Ava turns towards Beatrice slightly, and she notices the other girl’s eyes look at her briefly before locking back onto the paper in front of her. Ava swallows a sudden nervous lump in her throat.

“I’m sor-” Ava starts before she’s cut off by the professor barging through the door and immediately starting his lecture, not even bothering to take his book out of its bag.

Ava almost groans as Beatrice straightens up even further and stares at the front of the room. She turns back in her chair and sets her chin on her hands, letting out a small sigh.

She’ll just have to wait.

-

Class is excruciatingly long. All Ava can think about is how Beatrice doesn’t spare her the usual sideways glances. How she stays locked forward, only breaking her focus on the blackboard to delicately write something in her notebook, or to pick up one of her highlighters to emphasize a specific word or passage.

Ava finds herself missing the feeling of Beatrice's eyes on her. She misses being able to catch Beatrice looking at her.

She can’t believe that she never realized this before.

She can’t believe that she never realized her own desperate attraction to Beatrice. She never realized how often she watches Beatrice. How much she craves her attention. It’s a little bit disarming.

So as they walk to their lab, Ava trails behind Beatrice, desperately awaiting her moment for them to talk.

It doesn’t come.

Lab passes with the professor droning on most of the time, taking way too long explaining the experiment for the day. He took it upon himself to stretch the lecture into the lab time slot, leaving only 30 minutes for the actual work.

Ava figures that she’s on thin ice right now so when Beatrice is focused on completing the assignment on time, Ava keeps her mouth shut, only really interacting when Beatrice asks for something or makes sure that she understands the work.

Beatrice is not acting herself, that is painfully clear. She is lasered in on what she’s doing. Every look at Ava is cold but holds a twinge of something, maybe sadness. This new gaze feels foreign against Ava’s skin.

So now isn’t the time. Not when they’re surrounded by other students that could overhear. Not when Professor Vincent is looking over their shoulders periodically as he rounds the room. Ava feels, overall, defeated, her plan failing before she even got a chance to enact it.

And that feeling doesn't waver as Beatrice practically moves to run out of the room once they're dismissed.

“Beatrice!” Ava calls abruptly, standing up and causing the other girl to pause a few feet away from her. 

Beatrice turns over her shoulder. There’s no mistaking it now. The sadness in her eyes, still trying to mask as a tough, hard exterior. Nerves settle into Ava again as they stay frozen looking at each other for too long. 

“I’ll see you later,” Ava says tentatively, fidgeting with the strap of her backpack as she picks it up.

Beatrice nods and continues her brisk exit. Ava shakes her head as she shoulders her bag and follows behind.

 

That was so stupid.

 

-

Later that night, around 10:00, Ava is lying face up on her bed, staring blankly at the texture on her ceiling. She’s been alternating between that and her phone screen.

She’s made a few text drafts to Beatrice. None of them are good enough.

 

Me : hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry

Me : about the other day…

Me : are you mad at me?

 

Ava takes a deep breath as she types out one last message and sends it before she can second guess it.

 

Me : can we talk?

 

The response is immediate. (She isn’t aware that Beatrice had been holding onto her phone with the same hesitation, overthinking her own text to Ava.)

 

Beatrice : Yes.

 

Ava scrunches her face in thought, once again typing and deleting a text. Instead of trying again, she taps the call button at the top of the screen. Ava holds her breath as the call rings once. Twice. A third time.

Finally, the sound of someone picking up the line.

 

“Hello? Ava?”

 

“Hi! Hi, yeah, it’s me.”

 

Ava winces at her own awkwardness, bringing her hand up to her face. There is a moment of silence that spreads between them until Beatrice breaks it.

 

“Do you… Need something?”

 

She sounds nervous. Ava isn’t sure if that makes her feel better or worse about the situation. She swallows thickly before opening her mouth again.

 

“No! Not really.

Well… yes, but i just-”

 

She runs her hand down her face, settling it onto the pillow next to her head.

 

“I just want to apologize, Beatrice.”

 

There is another moment of silence. Ava can hear Beatrice breathing shallowly on the other end of the line.

 

“You don’t have to, Ava.”

 

“No, I do. 

I lashed out at you and I was rude.

It was totally uncalled for and it was just because-

Well, it doesn’t matter but-

I’m just- I’m sorry.”

 

Beatrice sighs and Ava half expects her to hang up when she takes a few seconds before responding.

 

“No, I’m sorry.

I blew up on you and that wasn’t fair.

You didn’t do anything wrong and I took everything out on you.”

 

“But I did do something wrong.

You were right.

I wasn’t taking the project or the class seriously.

I was slacking off.”

 

“That doesn’t give me permission to yell at you.”

 

Beatrice’s voice is achingly soft, more breathy than usual. Maybe it’s the phone between them that’s changing the tone of her voice. Or maybe, Ava hopes, It’s something like affection.

 

“Well, I forgive you.

I think I might have needed it honestly.

It put some things into perspective for me.”

 

“And I forgive you .”

 

It’s gentle. Sweet. Ava hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear it.

The strife that had been created between them the last couple days has been weighing her down more than she’d like to admit. She just wants to be good with Beatrice again.

Maybe, eventually, even as more than-

 

“Friends?”

 

Ava’s stomach drops with a mix of emotions. The first, the dreadful feeling of being friend-zoned. The second, the slightly more dreadful feeling that this whole time Beatrice had felt as if Ava didn’t like her. Like she wasn’t constantly craving to be around her.

 

“We never stopped being friends, Beatrice.

I was just… being dumb.

But I never stopped wanting to be your friend.”

 

Ava can hear Beatrice take a deep inhale through her nose and out through her mouth. It sounds relieved. 

 

“You stopped responding to my texts so i thought-”

 

“I told you.

I was being dumb.”

 

There is another pause before Beatrice breaks the quiet again.

 

“I never wanted to stop being your friend either.

Quite the opposite really.”

 

Beatrice hesitates then, leaving a suspended feeling over the call.

 

“I want to know you better.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Ava fumbles.

 

“I mean, i want to know you better too-

Not-

I know myself, I meant-”

 

She’s cut off by Beatrice's chuckle through the phone. It immediately brings a smile to Ava’s lips. She can picture how Beatrice looks right now. Head tipped down as she laughs, just like she always does, as if she’s too shy to be too vocal with her amusement.

 

“I knew what you meant, Ava.”

 

“Good.”

 

They sit in silence for another few moments. Ava could almost be lured to sleep by the steady sounds of Beatrice’s breathing against her ear. She feels her eyelids grow heavy.

 

“Well, I’m going to go to sleep.

Maybe we could work on the project this weekend?

Let me make up for my horrible performance yesterday.”

 

Another chuckle from Beatrice.

 

“Yeah, we can do that.”

 

“Good!

Good.”

 

“Goodnight, Ava.”

 

“Night, Bea.”

 

Ava hangs up and puts her phone down onto her bedside table. She smiles fondly before closing her eyes and letting herself drift off.

 

— b e a t r i c e — 

Bea. Bea. Bea. Bea.

The nickname swirls around her head as she turns her face deeper into her pillow.

It shouldn’t be affecting her this much. Her friends call her Bea. Well, Lilith does anyway.

She’s never felt any particular way about it.

But hearing it out of Ava’s mouth is something like what she imagines heaven to be like. She’s being dramatic and she knows it, but all the same, Ava’s voice is stuck in a loop in her mind.

Bea.

Ava called her Bea. She gave her a nickname. Something filled with fondness and something so light in Ava’s cadence.

Beatrice wonders if the other girl even realized she did it. She’s not sure which is worse.

If it slipped out of her mouth as an accident with no second thought, as if it was natural. Or if it was a calculated maneuver. Something she waited for and contemplated over.

Ugh.

A single phone call and Beatrice is back to being the mess she was before. What is Ava doing to her?

She flips over to her other side and brings her blanket up closer to her chin. She’ll have to talk to Lilith about this tomorrow. It’s getting progressively harder to get over this rapidly growing crush.

-

The next morning is a normal routine for Beatrice. She gets up, goes for her morning run, gets back home for a quick shower, and starts making a couple slices of toast to go along with her eggs. She hasn’t seen Lilith yet and figures that she must’ve left for the gym right before Beatrice got back.

She sends a quick text.

 

Me : I need to talk to you about something.

Me : Can we meet up for lunch later?

 

Beatrice takes her toast out of the toaster delicately and sets it on her plate before finding her way to the dining table. As she takes her first bite, a notification pops up on her phone screen.

 

Lilith V. : Okay. Lapel’s?

Me : I was thinking Firestarter.

Lilith V. : Wings sound good. Okay, I’ll meet you there at 12:30.

Lilith V. : And do something productive today.

Me : When don’t I?

Lilith V. : I mean something other than just reading a book, Beatrice.

 

Beatrice rolls her eyes then sets her phone back on the table to finish her breakfast. She decides she’ll take the rest of the morning to clean. Mostly because she likes keeping a tidy space, and partially to spite Lilith. 

She takes her time picking up random things around the apartment, few and far between with both roommates being pretty organized people. She washes the dishes, sweeps and mops. She vacuums the living room rug.

Lastly, Beatrice runs a finger across one of the shelves that houses her books to check if it needs dusting. She nods contently when it comes up clean.

She crosses her arms in front of her chest and smiles as she looks around the now pristine living room.

 

How’s that for productive, Lilith?

 

She glances at the clock to check the time. 10:00.

Beatrice immediately deflates. Now what to do with the next 2 and a half hours? She grabs a book from the bookshelf and sinks into the couch, irked with herself for doing exactly as Lilith had predicted.

As she sits down, eyes barely skimming the words on the page, her mind goes to Ava pretty quickly. It’s frustrating how she constantly circulates through her head. How Beatrice feels like she can’t focus on anything except Ava.

Ava. Ava. Ava.

Ava had called her Bea.

The sound of it still buzzes against her ear, despite the hours that had passed.

She slams her book closed a little too aggressively, enough to surprise herself, before gently placing it on the coffee table. She can’t remember the last time she was this enamored with someone, maybe she never has been.

She groans at the thought and stands up, heading to her room with the intent of finding something to do for the next few hours.

-

Finally, 12:30 rolls around. Beatrice sits at a table in their chosen restaurant, Firestarter. It’s become one of the pair's favorite spots to eat in the few years they’ve lived in the area, right under Lapel’s.

Their wings are good, but the real star of the show is the fried macaroni and cheese bites. They would never be able to find anything like it in London, or anywhere else in England for that matter.

So as Beatrice waits, she orders two servings of mac and cheese bites (actually titled Mac Bombs) and a water each. The waiter winks at her with a quick “got it” before leaving to put in the order. It would bother Beatrice if it wasn't Ryan, their usual waiter for the past 3 years.

Soon enough, Lilith joins Beatrice at the table. 

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks in place of a greeting as she pulls her menu to herself.

“Hello to you, too,” Beatrice replies with one of her eyebrows raised. Lilith rolls her eyes.

“You called me here to talk about something, so spill,” she responds, looking down at the food options.

Beatrice sighs and fidgets with the bottom hem of her shirt under the table. This makes Lilith look up with a slightly concerned look on her face.

“It’s about Ava,” Beatrice admits, looking tentative.

Lilith lets out an exasperated noise, “I told you being friends with her would hurt you.”

“Well it didn’t at first!” Beatrice says defensively, “It was going really well, to be honest.” She shrugs, “Then it took a weird turn and I think she was mad at me. Then I kind of blew up on her during a project meetup and I blamed it on her slacking off but really, I think I was just upset that she wasn’t talking to me.”

Lilith looks up to the ceiling for a second, as if praying for some strength for this endeavor, “Well, what started it?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know, “ Beatrice says, leaning back in her chair slightly, “She invited me to the cinema on the day of the date with Melanie. That’s the only thing I can think of.”

“She invited you on a date to the movies?” Lilith questions with a raised eyebrow.

“No,” Beatrice answers with a slightly annoyed tone, “With her friends. She has a boyfriend, Lilith, remember?”

Lilith hums and Beatrice continues, “But now she’s back to normal again, I guess. She kept trying to talk to me during class and I wasn’t very responsive to it. And then last night.” Beatrice trails off and Lilith leans forward a little bit in her chair. “She called me. We talked and she apologized. I apologized. It felt good.”

Lilith studies her face for a moment, brow furrowed as she searches for something, “You can’t be with her if she’s already taken, Bea.”

There’s that name again. It doesn’t feel the same coming out of Lilith’s mouth. It doesn’t hold the same weight.

“I know,” Beatrice says, even though she wishes otherwise, “I don’t know what to do. The dates didnt work.”

“Let me set up a couple more over the next couple weeks-” Lilith is cut off quickly.

“No. I don’t want to go on any more dates,” Beatrice admits, “It wouldn’t be fair to them. I can’t give it my all.”

Lilith nods, hopefully finally understanding Beatrice’s sentiments on the matter, “Fine, I won't push it anymore. But I do think you need to get out a little more. Have some fun. Take your mind off of her for a little bit.”

Lilith pauses in thought for a moment before an idea seems to suddenly pop into her brain, “Come with me to this concert tomorrow night. We can get a couple drinks and the music will be too loud for you to think at all, much less about her.

Beatrice sighs lightly. What’s the worst that could happen? She hasn’t been able to read or study anyway so why not try something new. Maybe she’ll end up really liking the band. Or maybe she’ll meet someone else that she finds more alluring than Ava. The chances of that are slim but it’s a possibility.

Finally, Beatrice submits, “Fine, fine. I’ll go, it’s worth a try.”

Lilith perks up with a smile just as Ryan comes back around to take their order.

-

The next day, they both walk together towards the bar. A neon sign with the name “The Cat’s Cradle” is mounted at the front of the building, lighting up the surrounding area in a purple glow. Beatrice can hear music playing through the walls as the bass of it vibrates around them.

Posters leading to the door hold the titles of a couple of different bands. Lilith points to one as they get closer in line to the ticket booth, “That’s the band we’re seeing.”

Beatrice’s eyes find the poster and squint a little to read it. Hope at Last Oath. She remembers Lilith talking about them before. She seems really into them, although she pretends that they’re “only okay”.

“What kind of music do they play?” Beatrice asks as they walk forward in the queue a bit.

Lilith shrugs, “Hmmm, they’re mostly alternative rock, I guess. Garage band type shit. They play a lot of different things.”

Beatrice nods. She’s not sure how into that she’ll be but she can’t say she’s ever tried it out. Maybe she’ll find a new genre she likes.

Finally, they buy their tickets and enter the venue. It's pretty busy but there is enough room to walk through comfortably. Many small tables are set up around the large hall with tall stools to sit in. Most of them are already taken.

Beatrice sees a dimly lit stage near the back with a few workers setting up a drum kit and a few different amps. Speakers extend from several points on the raised platform. There are already people crowded in front of it, all excitedly talking amongst themselves. 

“I’ll get us some drinks, you hang around here,” Lilith says, having to lean in towards Beatrice’s ear to be heard over the background music and the steady buzz of people talking around them.

Beatrice nods and stuffs her hands into her pockets.

Lilith had dressed her again tonight. This getup was vastly different from the one for her date with Melanie.

Lilith gave Beatrice one of her band shirts to wear. It sits a little too big on her but Lilith cuffed the sleeves and told her to tuck it into her gray-washed jeans so it would look a little more presentable.

Beatrice's hair is down. Something she rarely ever does, but Lilith strictly forbid her from wearing a bun so she didn’t see another option at the time.

Once they had finished getting ready, Lilith stood back and regarded her, looking her up and down a few times before nodding and saying, “You look good.”

It was a surprising complement from Lilith, not something that Beatrice hears very often. It was enough to make her blush a little. But before she could say anything else, Lilith grabbed her and pulled her out of their apartment immediately.

Now, standing on the edges of the steadily growing crowd surrounding the stage, she’s glad she let Lilith dress her. Her normal attire would stick out like a sore thumb.

Suddenly there is a surge of sound from the people surrounding the stage as a few people walk on and take their respective spots. People cheer as the dark silhouettes of the band members settle in. Beatrice watches with anticipation.

 

~ Now Playing: Black Sheep by Metric (Brie Larson Vocal Version) ~

 

The music starts up slowly, mostly just distortion from the guitar and light cymbal crashes from the drums. Abruptly, Lilith hands Beatrice her drink from the bar and pulls them closer to the stage. The guitar slides in and the bassline pushes through. The lights finally turn on as the singer’s voice rings out.

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Beatrice’s breath hitches as she pulls her gaze from her drink to the stage and she sees the last thing she wanted to see tonight. The whole reason she agreed to go out at all. The thing - the person - that’s been constantly circulating around her mind for the past month.

 

Ava .

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

Ava’s eyes meet Beatrice’s in the crowd somehow, despite the amount of people in the bar. It’s as though she was looking for her. For half a second, the singer seems surprised. Then, a sly smile pulls at her lips as she brings the mic closer to her mouth. 

 

“Oh yeah!”

 

Oh no…

 

“Hello again, friend of a friend

I knew you when”

 

Ava breaks their gaze very briefly to head bang along with the guitar between lyrics. When the lyrics start up again, her eyes are immediately back to Beatrice’s.

 

“Our common goal was waiting for the world to end”

 

Ava’s gaze burns through Beatrice but she can’t seem to look away. Both of them seem to be transfixed on each other as if the bar isn’t insanely crowded. Another head bang between lyrics.

 

“Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend”

 

Lilith turns to Beatrice, raising a curious eyebrow as she sees her friend seemingly frozen. But Beatrice can’t turn to her. She’s stuck. She feels like she can’t breathe. Ava is so…

 

“You crack the whip, shapeshift and trick the past again”

 

Hot.

As the chorus starts up Ava breaks eye contact to dance around the stage. She sways easily to the music. The chemistry between the bandmates is palpable as she interacts with each of them in turn.

Beatrice watches, her breathing shallow. Lilith nudges her arm roughly to make Beatrice finally look at her. She mouths, “What’s wrong?”

Or maybe she does say it out loud. Beatrice can’t hear anything other than Ava’s voice coming through the speakers. Even the sound of the crowd cheering and singing along has faded into the background.

She’s is completely entranced by:

“Ava,” She is finally able to say as she looks back up towards the stage.

Beatrice can hear it this time when Lilith says, “Oh fuck.”

 

— a v a —

Ava is absolutely buzzing.

Beatrice is here. She came to watch her perform.

Did Beatrice know that Ava would be here? The completely dumbfounded look on her face would say otherwise. She looks completely taken off guard.

That must be Lilith next to her, bending towards her to say something into her ear. She recognizes her from their other gigs. A regular.

Why did Beatrice choose now to come?

Why has she never come with Lilith before?

Ava is lucky that she knows these songs inside and out because her brain is moving too fast to be able to keep up.

All she can think about is Beatrice in the audience. Standing there watching her. Their eyes are pulling towards each other constantly, seeking each other out. Ava has missed the feeling of Beatrice looking at her. It’s invigorating. 

After her dance around the stage, Ava glances at Camila next to her, attempting to subtly gesture towards the crowd. Camila takes the bait and follows her gaze. Her eyes widen as they lock on Beatrice and a smile creeps onto her face. Ava mimics it as she continues singing.

This was a perfect song choice for this moment. The instrumental breaks give her time to dance around. She can show off for Beatrice.

Every time Ava glances at her, Beatrice is just staring, mouth slightly agape, eyes tracing her body shamelessly. Ava doubts she’s even aware that she’s doing it. It makes her smile widen.

The song ends and Ava breathes heavily as she calls out a greeting to the crowd. “We are Hope at Last Oath. We’re so glad everyone could make it tonight!” The cheering grows again and that seems to snap Beatrice out of her trance.

Ava adds, “and I hope you’re ready for us to rock your world.” She adds a wink sent directly towards Beatrice. She watches as several emotions seem to tear through Beatrice. Suddenly, the other girl straightens and turns abruptly, walking away from the stage. Lilith looks after her roommate then glares at Ava with eyes piercing like bullets.

If looks could kill, Ava would be dead on the spot.

Sudden anxiety fills her body. Beatrice is leaving? Why? Did she not like the set so far? Was this- was she being too much?

Ava frantically looks between Lilith, Beatrice, Camila and back to where Beatrice is exiting the venue from a side door.

Suddenly she hears Camila’s voice over the speaker, “We’re gonna have our newcomer, Michael, introduce himself formally by singing a song for you guys.”

The crowd cheers and Ava turns to see Michael look a little shocked. He covers it up quickly when both Ava and Camila give him a pleading look. He suddenly waves excitedly to the crowd and takes a few steps forward.

Ava gives up her spot in the front and, with an encouraging nod from Camila, exits the stage quickly. Once she is in the wings, she breaks into a jog to follow after Beatrice.

-

“Beatrice!” Ava calls when she spots her walking away from the side door of the venue.

“Bea!” She calls again as she starts to catch up. This causes Beatrice to stop and spin around, startling Ava into freezing as well a few feet away. Her chest is heaving with the effort it took to chase Beatrice out.

“What do you want from me, Ava?” her voice is shaking a little bit as she looks back and forth between the other girl’s eyes. It looks as though Ava isn’t the only one having difficulty breathing.

“What do you mean?” Ava asks between inhales.

“I feel like I’m getting whiplash! One second you wanted to spend all this time with me and then something happened and you wanted nothing to do with me. And then when I was going to just accept that you didn’t want to be friends anymore, you changed your mind all of the sudden. And then you called me and everything was supposed to be back to normal. But you’re here and you were up there singing and you winked at me and I - ”

Beatrice takes in a steadying breath before admitting tightly, “It doesn't feel normal, Ava.”

Ava swallows, nerves rising yet again, as they often do around Beatrice. They stand there in silence for a second before Ava takes a step closer, “What does it feel like?”

Beatrice searches Ava’s face again, apprehension written all over her features, “Confusing. I don’t know what you want.”

“I do,” Ava says, taking another step forward. She glances down at Beatrice’s lips before they lock eyes again, “I know what I want.”

Beatrice takes a step back, making Ava’s stomach drop. Had she read all the signs wrong? Of course she had. Beatrice just wants to be friends. It’s painfully clear. What a stupid thought that Beatrice would want-

“You have a boyfriend, Ava,” Beatrice says dejectedly.

 

What?

 

“What?” Ava says out loud, blinking rapidly a few times.

“You… have a boyfriend?” Beatrice answers, seemingly even more confused.

A boyfriend? J.C.?

Ava suddenly remembers bumping into Beatrice a couple days before they broke up. How J.C. curled himself around her and kissed her and Beatrice watched. Beatrice’s face had fallen then. Had she wanted to be with her that whole time?

She thought they were still together?

A small smile cracks across Ava’s face, causing Beatrice’s mouth to curve down in a slight frown. “You know,” Ava says, taking another step towards Beatrice, “For someone so smart, you really are an idiot sometimes.”

Beatrice backs up again and her back hits the brick wall of the building, “What are you-”

Ava surges forward, connecting their lips softly. Beatrice's eyes stay wide open in shock for a second, and her lips don’t move at all. Ava starts to pull away, again feeling as though she had misread the situation. An apology sits ready on her tongue.

But suddenly, Ava feels a hand slide onto her neck, pulling her back in. She gasps lightly as Beatrice kisses her back.

It feels right.

Nothing J.C. had ever done felt anything like this.

Their lips slot together perfectly, moving in harmonious rhythm against each other. Ava reaches up a hand to the side of Beatrice's face in an attempt to pull her even closer.

The kiss breaks only enough for both of them to take a shaky breath before they lean back in again with even more fervor. Beatrice’s other hand now presses against Ava’s waist, balling up the fabric of her shirt. Ava’s hands find their way to the collar of Beatrice’s shirt, pulling desperately.

Ava slides her tongue against Beatrice's bottom lip and just as Beatrice parts her lips further, the side door swings open loudly. They part quickly, both turning to the sound. Camila sticks her head out and calls, “Ava?”

Ava clears her throat and calls back, “I’ll be there in a second!”

Camila’s eyes finally find them, Beatrice’s back still pressed against the wall and Ava standing barely a foot away from her. A knowing smile plants itself on Camila’s face.

“I’ll be there in a second , Camila,” Ava hisses, making a shooing motion with her hands. Camila raises her own hands in surrender and turns back into the bar.

Ava faces back towards Beatrice, once again looking down to her lips. “I should go,” She murmurs, although she’s already leaning forward again.

“You should,” Beatrice whispers back, although she mirrors Ava’s movements. She pauses right before their lips meet again, making Ava reach forward in an attempt to find purchase.

“So, you don’t have a boyfriend?” Beatrice asks with a small smile at the edge of her lips.

“Oh, you finally picked up on that?” Ava replies playfully before closing the distance between them again, letting out a small sigh at the sensation of their lips meeting once more.

 

Perfect.

 

Notes:

;)
Here's the singing scene inspo

Chapter 12: The Aftermath

Summary:

“So what happened outside?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she leans into Ava’s space. Ava laughs and pushes Camila’s face away from her.

“Nothing,” She replies, her laugh laced in with her words.

“Bullshit, we had to do two songs without you,” Mary says as she settles her snare into its bag, “So spill.”

Notes:

OKAY hi :)

Sorry for the lack of update last week. I put out a one-shot which is ;) Practice ;)
Here's that if you want it
(It's smut btw. Just a warning)

Anyway, thank you guys for 500 kudos. THAT'S pretty sweet!
OKAY OKAY chapter time!!

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice watches as Ava leaves, walking backwards towards the door and stumbling a little as she attempts to keep her eyes on Beatrice for as long as possible.

“I’ll see you soon,” Ava calls out with a smile as her hand finds the door handle. She hovers there for a moment, both of them just watching each other. Beatrice almost thinks that Ava is going to walk back towards her. Her grip on the handle slips but suddenly there is a loud “AVA!” from inside the venue. Ava jumps.

“Okay Camila! Geez!” Ava calls back in. She looks at Beatrice one more time and sends a small wave, a giddy smile still planted on her lips. Beatrice lifts her hand in return, with a more subdued smile on her own face. 

It feels like the promise of something. Something neither of them are sure of yet. 

Ava slips through the door finally and Beatrice slumps back against the bricks, letting her head thump against them lightly. 

Beatrice stays there against the outside wall of The Cat’s Cradle for a few extra minutes. She takes in a few stabilizing breaths and attempts to figure out what just happened.

Ava Silva had just kissed her. And Beatrice kissed her back. This whole time Ava hadn’t had a boyfriend. Had she been wanting this just as much as Beatrice had?

Moments from the past few weeks flash through her head.

The quiet moments in the library. Teasing moments in the lab. The arcade.

She laughs quietly when she remembers Camila and Ava’s knowing look after Beatrice complimented Ava on her Guitar Hero skills.

She still can’t figure out why Ava got so cold with her after the movies. Did Ava think that she wasn’t interested since she didn’t make a move? She’ll have to muster up some courage to ask later.

For now, everything is right. Beatrice has no clue what will happen next, but that kiss felt like something. And all she can think about is doing it again. And again.

She takes one more deep breath before pushing off the wall and making her way back into the bar. Ava’s voice fills her ears immediately, along with the clash of drums, the vibrations of the bass, and the slide of the electric guitar.

 

~ Now Playing : Stupid for You by Waterparks ~

 

“Hey!

Tell me what you want me to say.

You know I’m stupid for you.”

 

Beatrice stares at the stage for a few seconds. Ava’s eyes meet hers in a knowing look almost automatically. A smile curls up on the edges of her lips for the next few words of the song.

 

“Hey!

Can you come-a come out and play?

You know I'm stupid for you.”

 

Finally, Beatrice breaks their eye contact and starts moving through the venue to find Lilith. When she spots her, she navigates through the crowd clumsily to reach her, muttering apologies that definitely can’t be heard over the music.

When she’s close enough, Lilith practically drags her further away from the stage. Beatrice attempts to voice her complaints as she is manhandled to the bar.

“What the fuck was that ?” Lilith questions roughly, forcing her roommate to sit at one of the stools. Beatrice huffs as she plops onto the stool and looks up at her stern looking roommate.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Beatrice replies innocently, placing her hands in her lap casually. She can feel how red her face still is, a constant buzz of warmth hovering over her.

“Bullshit, Beatrice, you know exactly what I mean” Lilith retorts, moving her hands to her hips in a scolding stance, “What did she say to you out there?”

Beatrice is thankful when they’re interrupted by the bartender. Lilith attempts to wave him off but Beatrice is quicker. “Vodka Sprite for me and a Jack and coke for my angry friend please,” She orders with a smile. Lilith’s frown deepens before the Bartender starts on their drinks.

“Tell me what happened,” Lilith demands again. Beatrice can almost picture smoke billowing out of her ears. 

Beatrice sighs, “I’ll tell you later. Can we just enjoy the show?” She gestures towards the stage, catching Ava’s eyes again. It’s as if she’s been watching them. A shiver goes down her back when she realizes that is a very real possibility.

Lilith snaps her out of her trance by shoving her drink into her chest, “Fine. We’ll finish the show. but you will tell me, Young. Every detail.”

Beatrice holds out her pinky, playfully offering to pinky swear on it. Lilith rolls her eyes and turns abruptly, heading back into the crowd.

Beatrice lets out a laugh as she follows behind her.

 

— a v a —

Ava is well aware of her gaze for the rest of the night. She watches Beatrice for pretty much the entire set, only briefly looking away to interact with her bandmates or dance around the stage.

Songs pass by in a blur. 

All she can think about is the kiss. The moment dances around her mind on repeat.

Beatrice’s lips are so soft. Beatrice is a really good kisser. 

 

I really want to kiss Beatrice again.

 

She almost gets mixed up during one of the songs and has to rein herself in a little more to focus.

-

Soon enough, the band starts to pack up their equipment. Ava had watched Lilith drag Beatrice out of the main doors as soon as the last song ended, which ultimately voided the plan of talking with her after the show. 

Ava can admit she’s a little disappointed, but at least it gives her time to settle with her thoughts for a little bit. Because currently, they're out of control. Her brain has not stopped moving since their lips first met.

Ava shakes her head and forces herself to focus on the task at hand. Thinking about Beatrice can come later.

Packing up is usually a pretty easy time for Ava, just wrapping up her mic chord and collapsing her stand. Mary’s process of breaking down her drum set is obviously the most time consuming. So as usual, the band groups around her as she works.

This is usually the time where they’ll talk about the show, what they thought of the set list, what they can do better this time. But Mary speaks up with something that Ava definitely did not expect.

“So Ava,” Mary drags out, “I saw you were pretty distracted during the show.” She raises an eyebrow as she fiddles with one of the cymbals.

“What?” Ava responds, a blush creeping up to her cheeks. Camila is practically vibrating next to her, bouncing on the balls of her feet like she’s about to explode. Michael looks between all of them, confused.

“Don’t play coy,” Mary says, glancing briefly at Camila before narrowing her eyes at Ava, “You were staring at Beatrice the whole time. It took me all night to figure out who it was.”

Ava blinks in surprise, “You know Beatrice?”

“My question is, how do you know Beatrice?” Mary retorts.

“Beatrice is Sexy Nun!” Camila lets out with an excited sound close to a squeal. It’s very obvious that she was attempting to keep her cool this whole time. Michael grows even more confused, if his expression is anything to go by.

Mary’s eyes widen almost comically, “No way… No fucking way! Sexy Nun is Beatrice Young ? You have a crush on Beatrice Young ?”

“Who said anything about a crush?” Ava attempts but Mary rolls her eyes.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Silva. You’re about as subtle as a brick through a window,” Mary responds. Ava ducks her head shyly instead of trying to deny it any further.

Okay so, Ava does have a crush.

A pretty big one.

A crush that she now knows isn’t unreciprocated.

“Who’s Beatrice?” Michael finally asks, looking out into the now sparse crowd of the bar in an attempt to find this mystery girl.

“Ava’s hot lab partner, Michael,” Camila answers, elbowing him in his side, “Come on, keep up.”

Camila then turns to Ava quickly, not giving Michael any time to react, “So what happened outside?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she leans into Ava’s space. Ava laughs and pushes Camila’s face away from her.

“Nothing,” She replies, her laugh laced in with her words.

“Bullshit, we had to do two songs without you,” Mary says as she settles her snare into its bag, “So spill.”

Ava sighs and hides her face behind her hands before admitting, “We kissed.”

Camila squeals again, loud enough to prompt a few of the straggling bar occupants to look over towards them curiously. Michael gives them an awkward smile and a wave.

“And how was it?” Mary asks, although she’s already smiling as if she knows the answer.

Ava parts her fingers so that one of her eyes can peek out from behind them. Her voice is still muffled by her own hands when she answers, “Really good.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Michael says loudly, a look of disgust on his face, “I do not want to hear about my sister’s sexcapades.”

“It wasn’t a sexcapade!” Ava defends, dropping her hands down abruptly.

“Either way,” Michael continues, picking up his guitar case off the floor, “This seems like girl talk. I’ll see you guys on Monday.” He backs away from the other band members and sends them a sort of mock salute before exiting the stage.

The group waves back at him, watching as he leaves before turning back to themselves.

“Well,” Camila drags out, poking Ava’s side playfully, “Come on, don’t hold out. Tell us more.”

“About the kiss?” Ava asks, feeling her face get impossibly hotter. 

“About everything,” Camila answers giddily, hopping on the balls of her feet again. Camila almost seems more excited about this than Ava does.

“I’m gonna need a drink before we get through any of that,” Mary intervenes with a huff, standing up to shoulder two of her bags, “Help me take this shit to the van and I’ll buy a round.”

“Drinks on Mary!” Ava whoops before picking up one of the bags as well and skipping away. Camila follows in suit with her own loud whoop.

“ Drink ! One drink, Ava!” Mary calls loudly as she follows.

-

Mary sets down her half drunk glass on the table. They had chosen a spot away from the bar where it was a little quieter. The Cat’s Cradle was mostly empty now other than a few regulars and some stragglers from the concert.

“Okay,” Mary says, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, “Tell us about your girl.”

“My girl,” Ava mocks with a roll of her eyes. 

“What would you rather me say? Your friend ?” Mary asks with a raise of her eyebrow. Ava frowns slightly at the implication that she and Beatrice are just friends.

But… Aren’t they? Has that changed now?

“How about your lover ?” Camila bumps Ava’s shoulder with her own. Ava ducks her head with a laugh.

Lover.

That sounds at least a little better than Friend.

“I don’t know what to call her,” Ava says with a shrug, “Just Beatrice, I guess. For now.”

Mary smiles with some sort of knowing look that Ava can’t identify, “Alright, tell us about Just Beatrice.”

Ava fidgets on her stool for a second, staring at her own fingers as they brush against the knuckles of her other hand. She takes a second to form the right words in her head.

“She isn’t like anyone I've ever met before,” Ava starts, “She’s so smart. It’s actually insane. Like she has color coordinated notes and she just magically knows super scientific words. But besides that, she’s also really sweet. Funny. Understanding. She reads poetry, beautiful poetry. If you could only hear those words come out of her mouth. God . And she sends me pictures of this cat that keeps stopping by her place. She asked me for name ideas. And when she’s nervous she freezes and her ears get red before her face does, it’s honestly adorable.”

She chuckles and then pauses for a second, taking in a deep breath. On the exhale, she adds, “And she’s really really pretty.”

When Ava quits her rant she sees her best friends staring at her with happy smiles. Well, Camila’s smile is happy. Mary’s is more akin to content.

“I think I might like her,” Ava says with a soft smile. Camila and Mary give each other a look before looking back towards Ava. “Okay,” Ava amends with another chuckle, holding up her hands in defeat, “I like her.”

She lowers her hands and plays with the bottom hem of her shirt, trying and failing to hide her smile, “I like her a lot.”

“Well, personally, I’m happy for you,” Camila says with a soft smile, placing her hand on Ava’s arm and giving it a squeeze.

“Me too,” Mary agrees, “Anything is better than J.C.” The group all grimaces at his name. 

“Plus,” Mary continues, taking another sip from her drink, “Beatrice is good people. We sat next to each other in psychology last year. I got to know her pretty well. She’ll be good for you.”

Camila nods in agreement, “I like her. I like the way you talk about her.” Ava ducks her head for what feels like the 20th time of the night.

“But if she hurts you-” Mary starts.

Ava shakes her head with a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You’ll beat her up.”

“I’ll murder her,” Mary corrects, picking up her glass again and raising it in front of her. Ava and Camila follow with their own glasses, clinking them against each other lightly.

“To Avatrice!” Camila pipes up happily before taking a sip.

Mary pauses before her glass reaches her lips, “What the fuck is an Avatrice?”

 

— b e a t r i c e —

The cabin of Lilith’s truck is silent all throughout the drive back to their apartment. They haven’t even turned the radio on. Beatrice stares out the window to avoid Lilith’s hardened glances.

Beatrice is not sure what Lilith thinks happened, but she is clearly angry about it. She wonders almost fearfully when Lilith is going to explode. After what feels like an hour, but is realistically closer to 15 minutes, they finally pull into the parking garage.

Beatrice is eager to exit the truck as quickly as she can. But just as her hand touches the handle, she hears the click of the car locks. She pulls the handle once just to make sure and sighs when the door doesn’t budge.

They both know how easily Beatrice could unlock the door herself, but instead she turns in her seat to face Lilith.

“Okay, let’s talk about it,” Beatrice acquiesces.

Lilith nods, “yes, let’s.” She turns towards Beatrice as well, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Tell me what happened outside,” she demands, “and don’t even think about lying to me Beatrice because-“

“We kissed,” Beatrice interrupts unceremoniously.

Lilith closes her mouth and opens it again as if to say something, before shutting it once more. It’s a strange thing, to see Lilith somewhat lost for words.

“You what?” Lilith finally says.

“Well, actually she kissed me ,” Beatrice clarifies.

There are another few moments of silence. Lilith’s eyes look between Beatrice’s, seemingly searching for something.

“And you’re okay with that? You’re happy about it?” Lilith asks angrily, “Beatrice, this is going to fuck you over!”

“No, Lilith, listen-“

“No, you listen!” Lilith interrupts, “I told you this would hurt you. Did I not? And it might feel good now because you kissed and I guess it was nice or something judging by the weird energy you have going on.”

She gestures up and down Beatrice’s body before continuing, “but this will come back to bite you. You both seem to have forgotten about her boyfriend .”

“There isn’t one,” Beatrice says quietly, a sort of embarrassed look on her face.

“What?” Lilith sputters in return, “What are you talking about?”

“She doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Beatrice responds.

Another long moment of silence settles over the pair. Beatrice taps her foot nervously in its place on the floorboard of the truck. She stares at it intently, prepared for some sort of scolding.

Suddenly, a breathy sound fills the air from the driver’s side. Beatrice looks up towards Lilith and sees her also looking away, her shoulders shaking while her hand covers her mouth. Short bursts of air are exiting from her nose, as if she’s- she’s-

“Are you laughing ?” Beatrice asks, her tone somewhere between confused and offended.

This prompts Lilith to drop her hand and let out an actual laugh, though still subdued. “For weeks,” she starts between her chuckles, “You’ve been attempting to snuff out your feelings for someone because she has a boyfriend. And now you’re telling me, she hasn’t had a boyfriend at all? You went on blind dates and everything, but the whole time she’d been pining after you as well?”

Beatrice feels her shoulders lose their tension as Lilith laughs through her words. She lets out her own short breath of a laugh. A calming sigh leaves her lips and a small smile finds its way onto her face.

“Well, I never did ask her if she was single,” Beatrice reasons, attempting to justify the weeks of back and forth between them.

“That’s what makes it funny,” Lilith stops laughing, but a smile still sits on her lips. She clasps Beatrice’s shoulder with her hand firmly, “Your communication is shit, my friend.”

Beatrice rolls her eyes before meeting Lilith’s gaze again. It’s softer all of a sudden, losing its humor but keeping the same light. Lilith’s hand grips tighter once more on Beatrice's shoulder

She doesn’t need to say anything. Neither of them do.

This is their unspoken understanding and communication at work again.

 

I'm happy for you. I’m proud of you.

 

Beatrice’s smile grows and she nods once. An acceptance.

Lilith releases Beatrice’s shoulder and clears her throat slightly awkwardly.

“Yes, well,” she reaches her hand back towards the door and unlocks the truck, “We should get inside.”

Beatrice nods again and pushes her door open.

-

The pair round the building together, finding their way through the winding pathways to the side entrance closest to their apartment.

Lilith fumbles through her pockets to find her keycard for the side door. She curses under her breath as she searches for her wallet.

Just as Beatrice is about to offer her own keycard, she hears a short greeting meow at her feet. She looks down to see the little orange and white tabby stretching as it exits the bush.

“Ahh, hello again,” Beatrice coos as she crouches down as she’s done every time before. The cat butts into her hand automatically as she reaches out. Beatrice chuckles lightly.

“What is that?” Lilith asks, her tone still seeping with annoyance as she takes a pause from her search through her many pockets.

“A cat, Lilith. Ever seen one before?” Beatrice responds, looking up at her roommate with a playful smile.

Lilith rolls her eyes and chooses to ignore Beatrice’s jab, “I think I left my wallet in the truck. I’m gonna go grab it, you can head up whenever.”

Beatrice nods and turns her attention back to the (still nameless cat). Speaking of…

She pulls out her phone as Lilith walks away. She debates for a few seconds before turning to the front facing camera and leaning towards the cat. In response, he pushes his own head against her face. Beatrice laughs as she takes the picture.

 

— a v a —

Camila and Ava wave as Mary’s van pulls out of the parking lot of the bar, before turning to Camila’s car and swinging themselves in.

“McDonald’s?” Camila asks, wiggling in the driver’s seat a little bit as she starts up the car.

“Obviously,” Ava answers with a smile as she leans back her seat a tiny bit. McDonald’s after a gig has been their own personal ritual.

As Camila switches the car into reverse, Ava’s phone buzzes in her pocket. She takes it out probably way too enthusiastically, judging by the way Camila laughs at her openly.

“Shut up!” Ava says with a laugh as she fumbles to unlock her phone.

 

Bea :) : He still needs a name, you know.

 

Ava stares at the attached photo, her smile fading into something else. Something a little more serious but still with the same tinges of happiness. A feeling rises in her stomach and gets lodged in her throat.

It’s a feeling she’s become more comfortable with in the last few weeks, but still feels foreign.

The picture itself is nothing too special. Just Beatrice leaned down next to the same orange and white cat from before. What causes her breath to catch and her heartrate to pick up is the smile plastered on the other girl’s face while it’s scrunched against the cat’s.

Beatrice has never sent her a selfie before. Ava wonders if it would be weird to make this one her phone background. Probably.

Camila leans over her phone in an attempt to look at whatever Ava’s staring at as she drives

“Hey!” Ava hides her screen away, tucking herself towards the door of the car with a small smile, “Eyes on the road!”

Camila laughs and straightens herself back up. Ava rolls her eyes and starts typing.

 

Me : how about 

Me : nacho?

Me : wait no

Me : egg

 

Bea :) : Egg? Really?

 

Me : WHAT? he’s egg colored!!!

Me : WAIT

Me : IVE GOT IT

Me : Macaroni. Mac for short

 

Bea :) : Macaroni.

Bea :) : I like it.

 

Me : I like you

Me : me too :)

 

Three dots pop up and disappear a few times on Ava’s screen.

Ava sighs as she leans her head back against the headrest, placing her phone on her chest. After a few minutes, Camila pulls into the McDonald’s drive through.

As Camila rattles off their order with practiced ease, another notification finally comes in. Ava lifts her phone up to read it.

 

Bea :) : Are we still meeting tomorrow for the project?

Bea :) : In the lab?

 

Me : I wouldnt miss it :)

 

Bea :) : Good.

 

The dots pop up and leave again. Only once this time before the text comes in.

 

Bea :) : I’m looking forward to it.

Bea :) : See you then, Ava.

 

Me : see you tomorrow bea

 

She hesitates for a moment before sending one last message.

 

Me : <3

 

Notes:

Thoughts???

See you guys next monday!

Chapter 13: The Meetups

Summary:

Even now, all she wants to do is pull Ava closer to her. All she wants to do is kiss her. Again. And again.

Beatrice exhales audibly before admitting, “Ava, that kiss is all I can think about.”

Ava perks up a little bit, finding Beatrice’s gaze quickly. She glances down at Beatrice’s lips briefly before looking back up to her eyes, “Yeah?”

Notes:

SO this is now the longest chapter of the fic.

I hope you guys are enjoying it so far <3
These kids still have a journey ahead of them
(also probable rating change soon...)

ONTO THE CHAPTER

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice groans as she stretches her arms up above her. Lilith is sitting in front of her at the café table. She raises her eyebrow as she watches Beatrice’s display over her laptop screen.

“You alright?” Lilith questions, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move this much while studying.”

Beatrice nods as she cracks her knuckles, “We’ve been sitting here for so long, just needed a stretch.”

The truth is, she is restless. Of course, she won't tell Lilith this for fear of being picked on relentlessly about it.

Beatrice hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Ava. Seeing Ava perform up on stage. Hearing Ava’s voice carry through that bar. Being pressed up against the wall by Ava. Kissing Ava. Feeling Ava’s lips move against her own.

The memory is unbearably present in the forefront of her mind.

However, what she’s restless about now is seeing Ava later today. She doesn’t know the expectations.

Are they going to just forget that last night happened? Pretend like they hadn’t kissed at all? That doesn’t seem likely. Ava seemed just as affected as Beatrice felt. Not to mention Ava’s eyes rarely left hers for the remainder of the concert.

Are they going to have some sort of confession to each other, pouring their hearts out in the lab room? Also unlikely. They’ve been bad enough with communication thus far, as Lilith had so graciously pointed out last night. Beatrice, for one, isn’t ready for any sort of proclamations of affection.

Are they going to kiss again? Beatrice is the most hopeful for this option but she won’t push her own luck. She wouldn’t do anything that Ava wouldn’t want. 

Would Ava want to?

All of that aside, their meeting time is still hours away. Beatrice knows that she should really be keeping more focus on her work in front of her. She has barely gotten anything done.

They’ve been at the café since 11:00am. It’s been 2 hours since then.

Only 6 hours till she sees Ava again.

She almost groans again at the thought of having to wait that long. She doesn’t want to seem too earnest by asking to meet sooner. Not to mention, she’s sure that Ava is very busy. Beatrice hasn’t asked, she just assumes.

Lilith would tell her that she should’ve learned by now that assuming anything is dangerous territory. It definitely left her in a rough situation before.

Lilith’s sigh pulls her out of her thoughts, “Do you want to get something to eat? You seem… distracted.” One corner of her mouth quirks up and Beatrice suddenly wonders if Lilith can read her mind.

“I’m perfectly focused,” Beatrice retorts, straightening up her back. She does close her laptop though, adding, “But I wouldn't mind getting some food.”

Lilith nods and shuts her laptop as well, stuffing it back into her bag. 

As they walk away from the café, the pair of them decide unanimously on getting sandwiches from Lapel’s. It’s a shared favorite for lunch.

The line is rather long, being the lunch rush on a Sunday, but Lilith and Beatrice are fine with waiting. For Beatrice, she gets to waste time before her meetup with Ava. For Lilith, she gets to avoid her school work without any reprimanding from her best friend.

They’re mostly silent as they advance in line. Lilith mostly stares at her phone, Beatrice looks around the restaurant casually. 

“I’m thinking of trying something different today,” Beatrice abruptly says as she scans the large menus above the serving counter.

“Really?” Lilith questions surprisedly, turning her attention away from her phone to look over at Beatrice in line. Her brow furrows slightly. 

Their orders have rarely changed since they both landed on their favorite sandwich a couple months after they first moved in. Lilith’s being blackforest ham and swiss on rye (She alternates between getting it toasted and not. You know, to switch it up a little bit) and Beatrice’s being a chicken avocado club on sourdough (Always toasted because consistency is key with Beatrice Young).

And now, Beatrice wants to ‘try something new’?

Beatrice nods, pulling her gaze from the menus over to Lilith. She shrugs her shoulders slightly which baffles Lilith even more.

Lilith looks as though she wants to say something, but instead shakes her head and looks up at the menu as well.

“Well, what are you thinking about getting?” Lilith asks, dropping her phone into her pocket and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Maybe a BLT,” Beatrice says thoughtfully before she takes in a sudden shaky breath, “Or perhaps I should go with a turkey club, not stray too far from my usual.” Another shaky breath. Her next few words come out as more of a question, “Or perhaps I shouldn’t stray at all?”

“No, no,” Lilith pipes up as Beatrice starts fiddling with the sleeves of her shirt, “I think you should do the BLT. Go all out. I’m sure it’ll be good.”

Lilith smiles and pats Beatrice’s arm reassuringly. 

Beatrice nods and swallows as they get closer to the counter. Lilith goes first, ordering her usual before looking back at Beatrice and gesturing with her head towards the woman at the cash register.

Beatrice is not sure whether or not she is relieved that she knows this specific girl from their previous trips here. She tries to remember her name. 

Stacy? Sarah?

“Hi! What can I get you, today?” the worker asks with a polite smile. Beatrice steps forward and is able to finally read her name tag.

Stella, that’s it.

“Yes, um, could I please have a BLT on sourdough?” Beatrice says, clasping her hands behind her back. Stella looks almost a little taken aback by the request, but she schools her expression quickly.

Beatrice, of course, picks up on it but attempts to not think about the reaction. Obviously she would be confused. Stella started working here around 6 months ago. In that entire time, Beatrice had never ordered anything different unless she was ordering for Lilith.

“Of course!” Stella says brightly, tapping the tablet in front of her a few times, “Toasted?”

“Yes, please,” Beatrice says with a nod. Stella nods and taps the tablet once more before looking back up at Beatrice with a smile.

“Anything else?” She asks kindly.

Beatrice looks at the menu again for a second before deciding, “Could I also get an order of macaroni and cheese?”

-

“How is it?” Lilith asks after pretending that she wasn’t watching Beatrice take the first bite of her sandwich.

“Good, actually,” Beatrice admits, taking another bite.

“Maybe you’ve found a new usual,” Lilith suggests, pulling her own sandwich off of her plate and towards her mouth.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Beatrice says with a chuckle before gathering a scoop of mac and cheese on her spoon.

-

Finally, 7:25 rolls around. Five minutes until their scheduled meeting time.

Beatrice waits at their usual lab table with her hands settled neatly on her lap. Her feet are crossed at the ankles and set on the footrest near the bottom of her stool. To a non-assuming bystander, she would seem perfectly calm. Reserved.

Internally, however, her brain continues to move constantly. Anxiety presses on her thoughts as she stares at the package of strawberries in front of her. She worries the inside of her cheek with her teeth, the only current physical embodiment of her stress.

Just as she looks down to check her watch, Ava bursts through the door, breathing heavily. Her eyes meet Beatrice’s easily and quickly. A smile finds its way on her face.

“Hi!” Ava says excitedly, still attempting to catch her breath. Despite her internal conflict, Beatrice finds herself smiling back in return. It’s almost as though all of her worries faded away with just one look from Ava.

As Ava makes her way towards the lab table, Beatrice responds softly, “Hello.” Her voice is impossibly gentle, “You were right on time today.”

“It wasn't easy,” Ava admits, wiping the back of her hand against her forehead dramatically, “I had to practically sprint away from a very intense lecture from Camila about The Last of Us lore. So, you’re welcome.”

Beatrice lets out a chuckle along with a humored roll of her eyes, “Yes, that must’ve been very tough. Thank you for honoring me with your presence.”

“Of course,” Ava says with a mock bow which is probably the most adorable thing Beatrice has ever witnessed. Another breathy chuckle leaves her throat.

Ava then sits on her stool, scooching it forward so that she can lean her elbows on the table. She turns her head so that she’s able to look at Beatrice better.

They’re quiet for what would probably be considered too long, both taking each other in for the first time since their ‘rendezvous’. Beatrice lets her eyes run down Ava’s body briefly.

She’s beautiful obviously. But there wasn’t really a time that Beatrice ever denied that. Ava isn’t wearing anything particularly scandalous, just black jeans and a white band tee, but either way, unclean thoughts burrow their way into Beatrice's brain.

Her ears grow hot when she feels Ava’s eyes scan her body as well.

It all feels so new, this mutual attraction.

Suddenly (or not so suddenly really because it's always lingering in the back of her mind), Beatrice thinks of their kiss again.

Ava’s lips were so soft. Even now in the dim fluorescent lighting of the lab she can see just how soft they are. Beatrice feels an urge to run her finger across the other girl’s bottom lip. Or even better yet, to pull her in and kiss her.

But she pushes it down.

They’re here to work on the project. They had agreed on that. There’s not some weird obligation in place for them to kiss tonight. How is she to know if Ava even wants to kiss her again?

Again, she won’t assume.

“We should probably get to it, huh?” Ava says with a tilt of her head.

“Right, yes,” Beatrice says almost frantically, pushing off of her stool to grab a few more pieces of equipment off the back shelves. Ava follows with a soft smile, considerably less frantically, swinging her clasped hands behind her back as she walks.

They go through the whole experiment again. Ava pays more attention, watching Beatrice’s every move and attempting to help when needed.

Halfway through, they’re watching the row of test tubes as the mashed up strawberries swirl into the different chemicals. Ava is leaned over with her chin settled on her hands which lay flat on the table.

“Is something supposed to happen?” Ava asks, tilting her head so that her cheek is laying against her hands instead.

Beatrice’s eyes trace the outline of Ava’s face. She has been mostly ignoring her natural pull towards Ava for most of the past hour.

It was easy to engross herself in the work and focus mostly on the task at hand. It's easy then to pull her hand further away from Ava’s. Or to break eye contact to give attention to the equipment in front of them.

But now there is nothing to do but wait.

She clears her throat before staring at the test tubes once more, “We have to wait for the strawberry mash to fully settle. In certain liquids, the DNA will rise to the top and then we can extract it. It’ll probably take 15 minutes.”

Ava nods with a slightly furrowed brow. She watches the test tubes for a few minutes silently before suddenly straightening up. She turns on her stool so that her whole body is facing Beatrice.

“Did you like the set?” Ava asks. Beatrice turns her face to look at her. She isn’t expecting the look she is greeted with.

Ava is… nervous? She looks between Beatrice’s eyes, searching for something again.

“What?” Beatrice asks, her brow furrowing slightly with the sudden mood that Ava is in. She turns in her stool as well, holding back a shudder when their knees bump against each other. 

“The concert last night, did you like it?” Ava reiterates. Her eyes move down to stare at her own fingers as they scratch at the fabric of her jeans.

“Of course I did. Did you think I didn’t?” Beatrice ducks her head to try and catch Ava’s eyes. They look at each other again. Brown eyes meeting brown eyes.

“What about… The other thing?” Ava trails off. Beatrice watches as the other girl swallows nervously.

 

Oh.

Oh God, I’m such an idiot. 

 

“You think-” Beatrice pauses, her mind reeling, “You think I didn’t like our… our kiss?”

Ava takes in a shaky breath before breaking their eye contact and shrugging, “I dunno.”

How did Beatrice fuck up this bad? Had she not made it clear that she enjoyed everything about that night? Down to their texts at the end of the evening.

Even now, all she wants to do is pull Ava closer to her. All she wants to do is kiss her. Again. And again.

Beatrice exhales audibly before admitting, “Ava, that kiss is all I can think about.”

Ava perks up a little bit, finding Beatrice’s gaze quickly. She glances down at Beatrice’s lips briefly before looking back up to her eyes, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Beatrice says breathlessly as she leans closer to Ava. Her knees now bracket the other girl’s legs as she brings herself closer. She licks her lips, feeling a shiver go down her spine as Ava watches the action.

“And I’d like to do it again, if that’s alright with you,” Beatrice whispers, tilting her head and leaning even closer.

Ava’s breathing hitches on its inhale. She leans in as well to almost meet Beatrice, hovering in front of her. When she lets out her breath, a word falls out with it, “Please.”

Their noses brush lightly before Beatrice presses their lips together. Finally.

The kiss starts out light. Experimental in all the ways that their first kiss wasn’t. It’s softer, slower. Even so, it doesn't lack the same amount of passion. 

Beatrice feels Ava’s hands settle onto her legs, just barely over her knees. She pulls her own hands up to either side of Ava’s face.

 

Ava’s lips are so soft.

 

Ava’s teeth graze Beatrice’s bottom lip, barely applying pressure. Beatrice separates their lips only to press them into a harder kiss, moving one of her hands to settle against Ava’s neck. Ava gasps quietly and Beatrice revels in the sound.

 

Ava is such a good kisser.

 

Ava’s hands start to rise high on Beatrice's legs, making their way up her thighs and causing Beatrice to break the kiss with a shaky inhale. 

Ava’s hands stop in their tracks automatically, moving back to settle over Beatrice’s knees again. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” Ava whispers lightly, nervousness seeping into her tone again.

Beatrice shakes her head before pressing her forehead against Ava’s reassuringly. They sit there for a moment, just breathing in each other’s presence.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Beatrice says quietly.

Ava lets out a relieved sigh. Beatrice pulls away, her hands still against Ava’s face. She brushes her thumbs against her cheeks a few times. Ava melts into the touch.

“Now, let’s extract some strawberry DNA, shall we?” Beatrice asks quietly with a gentle smile.

Ava lets out a laugh and nods, a matching smile finding its way onto her face.

 

— a v a —

Ava skips towards the library the next evening. She pulls out her phone as she reaches the huge double doors.

 

Me : im here :) 

 

Bea :) : Me too.

Bea :) : Come up.

 

A smile finds its way onto Ava’s face easily. They had been texting back and forth for most of the day, aside from the past few hours where Beatrice was in classes. Even then, Beatrice would text her when she had a free moment.

They had decided to meet at the library again tonight. They no longer need to be there for the project, so Ava suggested they use the time to study. Beatrice was, of course, very open to the idea.

Ava had expertly evaded her friend’s questions as she left band practice with little explanation.

-

“Bye! Gotta study!” Ava said as she exited the garage swiftly, swinging her bag over her shoulder and rushing out 30 minutes earlier than usual.

“Is this about Beat-” Mary’s voice was cut off as the door slammed loudly behind Ava.

Nailed it.

-

Ava finds her way towards their usual spot easily, taking the stairs two at a time. She bumps into someone as she navigates through the bookshelves. The person grumbles and Ava whispers a quick “Sorry” as she continues her trek.

Finally, she rounds the last corner and finds Beatrice. She’s leaned back in her chair with a book held up in front of her with one hand. Her foot is propped up on her opposite knee and one knuckle of her other hand is pressed against her lips, as if in thought. 

Ava lets her eyes linger on her for a few more seconds.

Beatrice is wearing a white button down under a slightly oversized dark brown sweater. A tie is poking out underneath, still cinched tightly around her neck.

And she’s probably the hottest woman Ava has ever seen in her life. Straight out of some professor-esque fantasy.

“This seat taken?” Ava asks lightly as she slides her hand across the top of the chair across from Beatrice.

The other girl looks up from her book, a smile settling over her features quickly when she sees Ava. “By all means,” She responds with a chuckle, gesturing with her free hand for Ava to sit.

Ava giggles as she settles into her spot. “What are you reading today?” She asks as she places her bag in the chair next to her and starts pulling out her laptop.

Beatrice hums as she closes the book slightly, making sure to keep her thumb on her current page to hold her spot. She shows Ava the cover.

“Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. More poetry,” Beatrice says with a soft smile.

“Why don’t you study Literature?” Ava asks as she opens up her laptop. She leans her head on one of her hands as she adds, “You seem to enjoy it.”

“I do study Literature, actually,” Beatrice admits with a shrug of her shoulders. Ava picks her head up off her hand at this information.

“Wait, aren’t you a Finance major? Or is my entire life a lie?” Ava asks with a confused look on her face.

Beatrice laughs under her breath causing Ava’s lips to pull up at their corners again, “I am. But I’ve taken a minor in Literature. Currently I’m studying Post-1865 American Literature. Thus,” She holds up the book once more, “Whitman.”

She pauses for a second as she reopens the book before adding, “Although this particular collection was released in 1855. Which is notably not post-1865. Though apparently it gets the point across well enough.”

Ava lets out a dazed sigh. She’s not quite sure why, but everything Beatrice does is endearing to her.

Half of whatever she just said, Ava knows nothing about. But that doesn’t matter. She looks beautiful when she’s talking about what she’s passionate about. Her eyes light up. She rushes her words a little bit, not having the ability to think so hard when it comes to something she enjoys. It’s breathtaking, to say the least.

“What?” Beatrice says with a confused smile when she realizes Ava is staring at her. 

“Nothing,” Ava answers with a small shake of her head. Her smile is still present, just softer. She focuses her eyes down to her laptop screen, which illuminates her face in the dim library lighting.

She pulls up her photo album, intent on editing a couple of her recent shots for a portfolio due next Monday. So it’s not exactly studying and she would definitely be able to do it on her own. But why do that, when instead she can sit across from Beatrice and look at her every so often?

It seems like an easy choice.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, both engrossed in their separate tasks.

Eventually, Beatrice puts a bookmark into her book and leans forward onto her elbows, looking at Ava over her laptop screen.

“What are you working on?” She asks, tilting her head slightly. Ava looks up to meet her gaze.

“Editing a couple of my pictures for my photography portfolio. Wanna see this one?” Ava asks with a smile.

Beatrice nods and pushes herself back in her chair so she can round the table.

Beatrice’s hand clasps the top rail of the chair, dangerously close to the back of Ava’s neck. Ava wonders if she did that on purpose or if she just naturally does super hot things like that.

Beatrice leans forward to get a closer look at the laptop screen. Ava attempts to keep her gaze locked on the picture that she’s been working on, but it's increasingly difficult when Beatrice’s face is so close to her own. They’re practically cheek-to-cheek at this point.

Ava is proud of the photo. It’s one of her favorites in her memory card currently, alongside the ones of the photoshoot with Beatrice. 

It’s a picture taken inside the campus, that much is obvious. It was taken later in the day, when the sky had just begun turning shades of purple and pink with only a few traces of sunlight peeking through in soft rays. The student services building is in the center quite a ways in the distance, but the main focus is a lone bench off to the right of the scene, settled beneath a tree which is mostly branches. They’re so dark that they almost look like silhouettes.

“That’s beautiful, Ava,” Beatrice whispers breathlessly. Ava swallows audibly as the sound reverberates so close. Both of them slowly turn their heads towards each other at the same time.

They study each other for a moment, taking in how the lights of the room and the laptop screen bounce across their features.

“Beautiful,” Beatrice repeats softly, looking between Ava’s eyes.

Ava lets out a breath before grabbing the front of Beatrice’s sweater and pulling her forward. Their lips meet once again. Beatrice lets out a surprised sound before she melts into the kiss, humming slightly.

Kissing Beatrice has quickly become one of Ava’s favorite things. The way their lips move against each other perfectly. The way their fingers brush against each other's skin. The way they breathe each other in.

It’s bliss. It’s perfection. It’s everything .

Ava attempts to pull her impossibly closer. Her hands move from Beatrice’s sweater to the back of her neck, tilting her head in an attempt to deepen the kiss. She feels Beatrice’s tongue brush against her bottom lip.

She lets out a small quiet sound close to a whimper before granting access. Just as Beatrice’s tongue finds its way into Ava’s mouth, someone clears their throat at the end of their row. 

They break quickly, both turning towards the sound. A student is standing there with one of his eyebrows raised. He rolls his eyes before walking past their aisle.

Ava attempts to stifle her laugh while Beatrice makes her way back to her own seat, head ducked in embarrassment.

“Shhhh, Ava,” Beatrice hisses as she slides into her chair. Her face is beet red as she nestles her face into her arms on top of the table. “We’re in a library,” Beatrice mumbles against her hand.

It only makes Ava laugh a little bit louder.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice isn’t sure how it’s Tuesday already. The past few days have passed by ridiculously quick. It’s only been 4 days since she and Ava first kissed. Not that she's actively counting (She is).

Now, she sits waiting in her Biology lecture once again, attempting to not stare at the door as she waits for Ava to walk through. She’s not doing a great job at that, glancing towards the entrance every 10 seconds.

5 minutes before class is set to begin, Ava walks in. She is feigning indifference, glancing around the room as she takes slow steps towards her chair. Beatrice spots the small smile on her face as she meanders her way closer to her.

Beatrice rolls her eyes and lets out a short amused breath through her nose.

“Oh!” Ava says as though she is surprised to see Beatrice there, “Hi. Have I met you before?”

Beatrice wonders how she could’ve ever thought of Ava as anything other than adorable, beautiful, kind, sweet, funny. This moment now is drastically different from how they were first introduced.

Beatrice shakes her head, with a suddenly serious look on her face, “I don’t believe so.” She holds out her hand in front of her, “Beatrice Young.”

Ava takes it slowly, allowing their fingers to brush before completing the handshake, “Ava Silva. Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine,” Beatrice says, smiling once more.

Ava sits down in her chair with a laugh, “See, that’s how our first meeting should’ve gone.”

“Well, in this scenario you weren’t late,” Beatrice points out, lifting a finger, “and hopefully you won’t need to steal a pencil from me.”

Ava sucks in a breath through her teeth as she rummages through her bag, “Well… actually.”

“Seriously?” The smile drops from Beatrice's face. Ava laughs before pulling a pencil out of her bag. Beatrice’s pencil.

“Kidding!” Ava says, wiggling it in the air and biting her lip. Beatrice finds her eyes linger on Ava’s lips for a moment.

Ava places the pencil on the table and then raises an eyebrow at Beatrice, “I’m hurt that you thought so little of me.”

Beatrice rolls her eyes just as the professor walks through the door. Ava winks at Beatrice before looking towards the front of the room.

Suddenly, Beatrice feels like she can't breathe.

-

Class goes by as usual, as does the lab portion. Only this time, the air around Beatrice and Ava is charged with something a little different. Something a little more sure.

Small looks are exchanged between the two of them. Skin brushes against skin more often when they move something across the lab table. Ava flirts more openly. Beatrice is blushing more often than not, although that one is generally usual around Ava.

As the lab nears its end, Ava leans towards Beatrice and whispers, “I have something in my car that I need to give you. Will you come with me after class?”

Beatrice tips her head to the side in confusion, “Something you need to give me?”

Ava simply nods with a sly smile on her face.

“What is it?” Beatrice asks, brow furrowing.

Ava leans back away from Beatrice with a shrug, “You’ll see.”

-

Ava swings her arms at her sides as they walk away from the science building. Beatrice follows dutifully, her hands clutching the strap of her bag.

“Will you please tell me what it is you have to give me?” Beatrice calls out as Ava widens the distance between them with a few skips. She turns around and walks backward for a few steps before responding, “I told you, you’ll see!”

Beatrice rolls her eyes before attempting to catch up without actively running after Ava.

They finally reach her car after a few minutes, Ava just a few steps ahead of Beatrice.

“I won,” Ava says boastfully as she leans back against the trunk of the car.

“I wasn’t aware it was a competition,” Beatrice replies as she stops in front of Ava, “I would’ve tried harder.”

Ava simply hums in response before grabbing both sides of Beatrice’s coat lapels and pulling her into a kiss. Beatrice sighs against her lips and puts her hands flat against the trunk, bracketing Ava between her arms.

It's a short kiss, over way too soon for Beatrice’s liking. 

Ava breaks it first, making Beatrice lean forward to chase her. Ava laughs and places another, even more chaste kiss against Beatrice's lips.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the second I walked into class today,” Ava murmurs, running her hands down Beatrice's shoulder and landing at her forearms.

“Have you?” Beatrice asks, her eyes stuck on Ava’s lips.

“Mhm,” Ava responds before kissing Beatrice once more.

Again , too short.

Beatrice practically groans before she decides to take initiative. She grabs Ava’s chin with one hand and pulls her forward, crashing their lips together with more fervor. She drags her tongue across Ava’s bottom lip and moves her hand to Ava’s neck.

Instead of allowing Beatrice to take control of the situation, Ava pulls back again.

“ Ava ,” Beatrice does groan this time.

This girl will be the death of her.

“I have something to give you, remember?” Ava asks, pushing Beatrice away slightly.

She takes Beatrice’s hand and leads her towards the back doors of the car.

Ava opens the door and leans against it, “You ready?” Beatrice nods with a confused look on her face. Ava nods in return before ducking through the door.

She crawls into the back seat, leaving the door open and shuffling towards the opposite side of the car. Beatrice stands there confused for a moment before leaning her torso into the car, bracing her hand against the top frame.

“Ava? What are you-” Beatrice is cut off suddenly by Ava’s lips against hers. She can’t stop the quiet moan that escapes her lips as Ava pulls her further into the car, far enough so that they’re both on their knees in the middle of the seat.

“Close the door,” Ava says lowly as she separates her lips from Beatrice’s.

“W-What?” Beatrice asks in some sort of daze.

“I said,” Ava murmurs, bringing her mouth close to Beatrice’s ear, “Close. The door.”

Beatrice swallows thickly as Ava presses a soft kiss against her ear. Not needing to be told a third time, Beatrice shuffles on the seat and shuts the door before scrambling back and pulling Ava’s face towards hers again.

It’s frantic and needy. Their breathing is heavy as they move their lips against one another.

Ava pulls Beatrice impossibly closer until her back pressing against the car door. She breaks their kiss only to adjust so that her legs are laying across the seat on either side of Beatrice.

Beatrice exhales reverently before throwing off her coat quickly and leaning forward again, catching Ava’s lips with her own. Ava is the one to let out a small moan this time. She reaches her arms up and crosses her wrists behind Beatrice’s neck.

Beatrice plants her hands into the seat on either side of Ava’s waist to keep herself upright as she’s leaned over Ava.

Their breaths grow heavy again.

Beatrice lets Ava’s tongue explore the inside of her mouth. She lets out a gasp when Ava bends one of her knees and it rubs against Beatrice’s waist. Ava breathes out heavily.

“You can put your hands on me, Bea,” Ava says, moving her own hands to either side of Beatrice’s face. It’s only then when Beatrice realizes that she is avoiding touching Ava at all actually.

Her body is hovering over Ava’s, supported by her arms and knees. Her hands are positioned just on either side of Ava’s waist. Their only point of contact has been their lips and Ava’s hands against her cheeks. And now Ava’s knee against her side.

“I want you to put your hands on me,” Ava emphasizes when Beatrice takes too long to respond. Her voice is a low whisper, making goosebumps travel across Beatrice skin. 

Gently, Beatrice moves one of her hands to settle on Ava’s waist. Her pinky brushes the tiny bit of skin not covered by the bottom hem of Ava’s shirt. Ava sighs again as Beatrice bunches up the cloth.

Ava pulls her in for another kiss. 

It feels so good. Beatrice has never felt like this before. Every touch is like fire against her skin, burning hot.

 

But.

This is all so fast.

Ava’s hands travel down her arms again.

Ava lets a moan into Beatrice’s mouth when her hand rises and settles at Ava’s ribcage.

Ava lets one of her legs tangle around one of Beatrice’s.

Ava pulls and pulls and pulls at Beatrice.

And Beatrice wants to give her everything she wants. Needs to.

But it's too much. Too fast.

Is this all it is to Ava? Making out in cars and labs and against brick walls.

Does she want to have sex right here? In the backseat of this car?

They haven’t even talked about what they are to each other. Are they dating? Are they just… messing around? Having fun? Is this just fun to Ava?

She doesn’t even know about her parents or her past. She doesn’t know about-

“Hey,” Ava says, out of breath as she pulls Beatrice’s face away from her own, “Where did you go?”

Beatrice’s breathing is heavy for a wholly different reason now. Her brain is reeling once again. She looks everywhere but Ava’s face, as if searching for an exit, “I- umm.”

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Ava puts her hands on either side of Beatrice's face, forcing her to look into Ava’s eyes, “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You know that right?”

Beatrice doesn’t answer. She doesn’t even nod her head. She just looks between both of Ava’s eyes.

“We can stop. Okay? We’ll stop,” Ava lets go of Beatrice's face and adjusts so that she’s sitting regularly on the seat. She looks at Beatrice with a worried expression.

“I’m sorry,” Beatrice breathes. She’s still on her knees in the middle of the bench. Her hands are now laying flat against her thighs.

“No, I’m sorry,” Ava whispers, ducking her head slightly to try to get Beatrice to look at her, “That was a lot. It was too much. I’m sorry.”

Beatrice finally looks up at Ava. Ava’s brow is furrowed, drawn tightly together as she attempts to search Beatrice's eyes, presumably for guilt or shame or regret.

Now she thinks that Beatrice doesn’t want this at all? That is not the case at all.

Quite the opposite really.

She just wants it to really mean something. She doesn’t know if Ava feels the same sentiments. How is Beatrice supposed to find that out? It feels like they have something that could be good.

But does Ava feel the same way?

Beatrice shakes her head slightly and leans forward to kiss Ava gently instead of ruminating in her own thoughts.

Ava sighs in relief when Beatrice pulls away, hopefully picking up on the emotion laced into the kiss.

“I have another class to go to, but I’ll text you,” Beatrice says, reaching her hand up and tucking a stray piece of hair behind Ava’s ear, “Or better yet, I’ll call you. Tonight.”

Ava nods, although her expression is still a bit nervous, “So, we’re okay?”

“We’re okay, Ava,” Beatrice responds with a small smile. She leans in again to press a kiss against Ava’s temple, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

She shuffles out of the car and watches as Ava climbs into the driver's seat. She sends a small wave from behind the wheel, which Beatrice returns.

When Ava leaves the parking lot, Beatrice starts her trek to class.

 

I really need to talk to Lilith.

 

Notes:

Thoughts??? wanted to give you guys some fluff before a little more angst <3

ALSO
One of my best friends in the entire world, Janso, has a fanfic going on if you're into Clexa!
Lexa and Clarke are in an exchange program in Dubai! What will happen between them? Only time will tell!
It's got some angst. It's got some smut. What more could you want? :D

Let her know I sent you if you do check it out <3
LINK

Chapter 14: The Distraction

Summary:

“Tell her about that too,” Lilith says with a shrug, “Tell her your reservations and if she accepts them then great. If not, she wasn’t worth it in the first place. But you won’t know until you try.”

Beatrice nods slowly before taking in a deep breath, “Okay fine, You’re right. I’ll talk to her soon.”

“As soon as possible, Beatrice,” Lilith says, pointing her finger in Beatrice’s face, “I’m not going to coach you on this forever.”

Notes:

I am not going to lie to you guys, I struggled with this one.
BUT I hope you guys like it!

(Also, peep the rating change and the added tags)

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice grunts as she sends another hard punch into a black punching bag dangling from the roof of the gym. Lilith’s face appears from behind the bag, where she’s holding onto it to keep it in place. Her face has mostly been locked into a frown since Beatrice first asked if she would want to go to the gym with her.

“Do you want to spar?” Lilith asks as Beatrice rubs her wrists while pacing away from the punching bag.

Beatrice shakes her head and makes her way back. She hops a few times in her place, shaking out her arms before falling back into position. Lilith preps herself for another onslaught of attacks from Beatrice. She starts with a few punches.

“You don’t come to train with me unless something’s bothering you,” Lilith points out when Beatrice ends her first set. Beatrice shakes her head again and resumes her jabs.

However, Lilith isn’t one to give up easily, “Does it have anything to do with Ava?”

Beatrice sends her hardest punch at the mention of Ava before backing up again. She links her fingers on top of her head, her breathing coming out shallow from the exertion.

“I don’t know how to do this, Lilith,” Beatrice admits between breaths.

Lilith picks up their water bottles from the bench that holds their gym bags. She hands Beatrice’s bottle to her as she asks, “How to do what?”

Beatrice takes a large swig and then sighs, half because of the relief the water gives her and half because of the fuzz in her brain.

“Relationships? Feelings? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing,” Beatrice says, tossing her bottle back onto her bag.

“I thought you had it all figured out,” Lilith says, before taking a drink of her own water. She wipes her mouth before continuing, “I mean, you kissed. You obviously like each other, right?”

“But what if that’s all she wants? Just to be some sort of… fling or something?” Beatrice asks as she stretches her arms to the side.

Lilith is quiet for a second, looking at Beatrice scrutinizingly. Lilith knows Beatrice more than anyone in the entire world, if anyone can read her, it would be Lilith.

After an awkward silence staring at Beatrice, Lilith asks bluntly, “Did you fuck?”

Beatrice's eyes widen and she looks around them quickly. “Lilith,” she scolds in a whisper, “Keep your voice down.”

“Did you?” 

Beatrice sighs and before she can say anything Lilith exclaims almost excitedly, “You did!”

“Shhhh,” Beatrice hisses, pulling Lilith by her elbow so that they’re further out of earshot from the surrounding gym patrons, “I didn’t- We didn’t- Well maybe, almost but-”

“Almost!” Lilith whisper-yells, not wanting to be scolded once more, “What do you mean almost?”

“Earlier today, in her car, we almost… did. I think,” Beatrice says, swallowing thickly and looking around again, as if someone could be listening in, “But I stopped it.”

“You almost fucked ?” Lilith asks with a cocked eyebrow. Beatrice nearly winces at the word. Lilith’s face twists into a confused expression, “Why didn’t you?”

“It’s complicated, Lilith,” Beatrice says exasperatedly as she plops down onto an empty spot on the bench.

“Try me,” Lilith returns, crossing her arms in front of her.

Beatrice sighs and runs her hands over her face before saying, “She doesn't know anything about my family. About what happened with them. What continues to happen with them. She doesn’t know about Crimson.”

Lilith rolls her eyes at the mention of her name, setting her jaw as she continues to listen.

“And I’m still worried about my academics. Most of the time I can’t focus around her. And I’m always thinking about her, even when she isn’t around. I shouldn’t get involved.”

“It sounds like you already are,” Lilith points out.

Beatrice is quiet for a minute before she nods once, “But if I am with her, I don't want to just…” Her voice trails off.

“Fuck?” Lilith fills in for her with another raise of her eyebrow.

“Yes,” Beatrice breathes out, “I want to be with her. You know? But she doesn’t know about all of the problems that come with me. And I don't even know if she wants to be with me.”

Lilith scoffs, making Beatrice pull a frown before snapping, “What?”

Lilith rolls her eyes before opening her water bottle again to take a drink, “I don’t think you have to worry about her not wanting to be with you, Beatrice. I’ve been to those shows hundreds of times. She has never once looked at anyone like that and I’m pretty sure she was dating the… Oh.”

“What?” Beatrice says louder, with annoyance seeping into her tone.

“The guitarist. She was dating the guitarist and then all of a sudden he stopped showing up to the gigs and was traded in for that Michael guy,” Lilith looks off into the distance, almost as if she's talking to herself for the end of her sentence. She looks as though she is bringing the story together piece by piece.

“Anyway,” Lilith continues, “She never even looked at him like that. So I think you’re alright on that front. But either way just… Talk to her. Be honest. Tell her how you’re feeling.” Lilith then cringes, as if it pains her to be reassuring.

“And what about my parents? And Crimson?” Beatrice asks, looking down at her hands as they fidget in her lap.

“Tell her about that too,” Lilith says with a shrug, “Tell her your reservations and if she accepts them then great. If not, she wasn’t worth it in the first place. But you won’t know until you try.”

Beatrice nods slowly before taking in a deep breath, “Okay fine, You’re right. I’ll talk to her soon.”

“As soon as possible, Beatrice,” Lilith says, pointing her finger in Beatrice’s face, “I’m not going to coach you on this forever.”

Beatrice slaps Lilith’s finger away before standing up again and wiping her hands down her pants a few times, “Okay, let’s keep going.”

“You’re holding the bag this time, Young,” Lilith comments behind her shoulder as she walks back towards the training area.

-

Eventually, Beatrice and Lilith find their way back to their apartment. They’re silent as they separate to their own rooms, both slumped over with exhaustion.

Beatrice immediately beelines for the bathroom as soon as she walks through her door, making sure to stop and grab clean clothes to wear. She turns on the water in the shower and lets it heat up as she strips off her workout gear.

A sigh escapes her mouth when she finally steps under the water.

Beatrice lets the warmth cascade over her as she thinks about what has happened over the past couple weeks.

She thinks of meeting Ava for the first time, being pulled to her even as her own thoughts yelled at her to stay away. 

She thinks of the cheeky smile Ava had given her when they were assigned lab partners. She remembers the feeling of dread clearly and finds it humorous now, how quickly things can change.

She thinks of their friendship blossoming through cheesy jokes and playful looks.

She thinks of the Arcade with Camila. It had been so long since she had genuine fun like that, not caring about her appearance or being great at the games.

She thinks of sharing poetry with Ava. Watching Ava’s cheeks flush and her breath falter.

She thinks of The Cat’s Cradle.

She thinks of the lab.

She thinks of the library.

She thinks of Ava’s car.

She thinks of Ava.

 

Ava.

 

With her mind repeating her name over and over, Beatrice feels her hand begin to trace a line down her stomach as if it has a mind of its own. 

 

Ava.

 

She leans against the tile of the shower wall, taking in a startled breath through her teeth at the sudden cold feeling against her back.

 

Ava.

 

It’s been a long time since she’s done anything like this. And it’s because of her. Because of Ava. Beatrice wants .

 

Ava.

 

Beatrice lets her hand wander lower until she finds damp curls. Heat radiates off her body, amplified by the warm water and her growing desire. She’s been wound up since the make-out session in the car. She had hoped desperately that working out would ease the tension.

She was wrong.

Beatrice lets out a sharp breath when her fingers brush past her clit and she finally feels how wet she is. How wet just thinking of Ava makes her. It’s almost alarming.

She lets two of her fingers gather some of the wetness at her core and pull up, again brushing against her clit.

Again. And again. And again.

Her breath quickens as pleasure rises throughout her entire body.

 

Ava. 

 

-

Beatrice finally drags herself out of the bathroom several minutes later, steam billowing out as she pushes open the door. She finishes tying her hair up as she walks towards her bed. She glances at the clock on her bedside table.

10:07 pm

Suddenly, as if pulled out of some sort of arousal induced haze, Beatrice remembers something.

 

I forgot about calling Ava.

 

The thought of hearing Ava’s voice right now brings on a new slew of feelings.

First, the feeling of something close to shame. How can she talk to Ava right now? Ava, who is blind to the fact that Beatrice just touched herself in the shower thinking of her. Ava, who makes her want to touch herself. Ava, who makes her want .

Second, the feeling of need. She needs to hear Ava’s voice. She needs to talk to her. She needs Ava.

It’s the overwhelming feeling of need that ultimately makes Beatrice sit on the edge of her bed and pull up Ava’s contact info. She presses the call button and then brings her phone up to her ear, holding her breath in preparation.

 

“I thought I was being stood up.”

 

Ava chuckles through the phone and the sound reverberates through Beatrice’s body. Beatrice returns with a humored breath.

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Lilith and I went to the gym.”

“Oh! How was that?”

“Good. I needed it, I think.”

“Oh… good.”

 

The line goes silent for a minute. Beatrice pictures Ava laying on her bed, worrying her lip now in thought, as she often does. Beatrice wonders suddenly what she’s wearing.

 

“Beatrice… about earlier-”

 

Panic rises in Beatrice’s throat. She’s not ready yet. She knows it needs to happen just- not tonight. Not like this.

 

“How was the rest of your day?”

 

Ava sighs at the interruption. She’s quiet for another few seconds before she responds.

 

“It was good. Me and Camila played Mario Kart for a bit.

She won, obviously.”

“That is no surprise.”

 

Ava gasps as if she is offended. Beatrice pictures her hand rising up to her chest dramatically.

 

“Bea! Come on!

You’re supposed to be on my side!”

 

There she is. Back to normal. Relief floods Beatrice. She hasn’t fucked everything up. Ava still likes her, presumably.

Beatrice lays down on the bed, pulling her blanket over her.

 

“I only mean that Camila seems to be rather good at video games,

If the arcade was any indication.”

“Yeah, she is.”

 

Another few moments of quiet settle over them again. Beatrice can hear Ava’s soft breathing over the speaker. It could almost lull her to sleep.

 

“What are you wearing?”

 

The words escape her mouth without permission. She takes in a shaky breath before attempting to retract her question.

 

“I’m sorry, I-”

“A sports bra and shorts.

What about you?”

 

Ava’s voice is gentle, understanding. It calms Beatrice almost immediately.

 

“A tee shirt and pajama bottoms.”

 

Ava hums in acknowledgement before taking in a deep breath. Beatrice mimics the action.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

 

The answer is so immediate and so sure that it takes Beatrice by surprise.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

 

Beatrice takes a breath to build her own confidence. She thinks about what Lilith said to her at the gym.

Be honest.

Tell her what you’re feeling.

She knows now is not the time to have a full blown conversation about everything that Beatrice wants to talk about. She wants to do that in person, properly. But that doesn’t mean that she has to pretend that she feels nothing for Ava.

 

“I think about you a lot.”

“Me too.”

 

It’s another mutual agreement of attraction. They think of each other. Often.

Beatrice finds the courage to take another step. To see where this conversation will take them. Her voice is breathy with her next statement.

 

“Tell me what you think about when you think of me.”

 

She can hear Ava’s breath hitch on the other end of the line. Before she can say something like “You don’t have to” or “Nevermind”, Ava’s voice carries through to Beatrice. Slow and airy, barely above a whisper. 

 

“I think about kissing you, mostly.

I really like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you too.”

“You do?”

 

There is a break in her voice, as if she wasn’t expecting Beatrice to agree. It breaks Beatrice’s heart a little bit. If only Ava knew how much she affects her. 

 

“Yes, I think you highly underestimate what you do to me.”

“Oh… What do I do to you?

Tell me, Bea.”

 

She feels a heat course through her at the low, sultry sound of Ava’s voice. Beatrice sighs, attempting to ignore the feeling of want quickly rising in her body again.

 

“I’ll tell you later, I promise.

Just know that you…

You make me feel a lot of things, Ava.”

 

That seems to be a sufficient enough answer, as Ava takes in a deep breath and hums on the exhale.

The rest of the call is filled with tired conversation, whispered voices speaking about everything and nothing at the same time. Beatrice is in the middle of a rant about a boy in her literature class when Ava breaks out the first yawn.

Beatrice glances at her alarm clock on her bedside table. 11:02pm.

 

“Are you tired?”

“Hmm?”

 

The sound barely reaches through the phone. Beatrice chuckles quietly at its breathy nature. It’s painfully adorable and makes some sort of tug pull at her heart.

 

“I’ll let you go to bed, Ava.

Goodnight.”

“Wait - No, I’m awake!”

 

It’s not convincing, heavy with sleep, but it makes Beatrice put a pause on hanging up the phone call.

 

“Don’t… Don’t hang up.”

 

Ava is halfway begging, even while being practically asleep.

 

“But you should get some rest.”

“Just stay? Please? I wanna hear your voice.”

 

Ava’s own voice is gentle and clearly a little nervous. Beatrice hums and settles deeper into her blankets.

Beatrice thinks again of her conversation with Lilith, when Beatrice questioned whether or not Ava wants the same things as her. Whether or not she wants to be with her. It seems silly to think of now. Beatrice finally realizes why Lilith scoffed at her then.

 

“Okay…Okay, I’ll stay.”

 

Ava sighs in relief and Beatrice continues her story.

Soon enough, the conversation decreases from full stories to sentences to words to quiet hums and whispers. Their breathing evens out over the line eventually.

 

Beatrice doesn’t realize that she had fallen asleep until light filters through her window the next morning.

 

— a v a —

“We need to have a little talk,” Mary demands as Ava walks into the garage for practice on Wednesday night. Ava looks up from her phone and her smile drops as she sees the rest of the band sitting next to each other on one of the couches.

Ava slips her phone into her pocket before swinging her arms a little awkwardly, “if I didn’t know any better, I would think this was an intervention.”

“It is,” Mary says sternly.

Camila pats her hand on Mary’s shoulder, “No, it’s not. Mary is just being dramatic.”

Mary swats Camila’s hand away with a huff, “We need to talk about your distraction.”

“My… Distraction?” Ava tilts her head in confusion.

“Beatrice,” Camila clarifies gently, a soft look on her face close to sympathy.

“Yes, Beatrice,” Mary agrees curtly, “You’ve been spending an awful lot of time with her and I’m getting nervous about your commitment to the band.”

Ava scoffs, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “Are you kidding me? Of course I’m committed to the band.”

“I, for one,” Camila says, standing with her hands up to try to break the tension, “am not questioning your commitment. But you did leave practice early the other day. And you don’t really respond to the group chat as often.”

Ava rolls her eyes and turns her attention to Michael, who’s been quiet in his spot on the couch, “You agree with them too?”

Michael raises his hands as well, turning in his seat as if he doesn't want to be part of the conversation.

Mary waves a dismissive hand towards Michael before she starts talking again, “Listen, Ava, this is the same type of shit you’d get pissed off about when you were dating JC. And now that you’re dating Beatrice-”

“We aren’t dating,” Ava interrupts suddenly, her voice louder than she had initially intended.

The room becomes deathly quiet. Mary opens her mouth as if she’s going to say something, before closing it once more.

Of course Ava wants to date Beatrice. But it’s not as though they’ve clarified the situation. And not from a lack of trying. Every time Ava attempts to bring it up or talk about whatever they have going on, Beatrice seems to change the subject or shut down completely.

It’s Camila who finally speaks up, voice noticeably confused, “You aren’t?”

Ava stuffs her hands into her pockets and shrugs, “No.”

Sure, their ‘study sessions’ could be taken as dates. Or they could just be that, study sessions. Sessions that sometimes end with Beatrice’s lips on hers. That doesn’t mean they’re dates .

So, no. Not dating.

“Why the fuck not?” Mary asks with a frown, “Is she fucking with your feelings or some shit?”

“No! No,” Ava reassures all of them quickly, not wanting her best friends to have second guesses about Beatrice, “We just… She’s really good. We’re just taking it slow, I think.”

“You think?” Michael finally says something for the first time since Ava has walked through the door. Concern is laced into his features as he looks at his sister.

“I know,” Ava amends, even though she isn’t truly sure. All she knows is that Beatrice wanted to stop when they almost went farther, and Ava isn’t going to push.

It’s obvious that her bandmates don’t believe her, all sharing looks between each other.

“Okay, well,” Mary breaks the silence before it really begins. She stands and grabs onto Ava’s shoulder, “Dating or not, we need you here. For the entirety of practice. We can’t do this without you.”

She pushes with her grip on Ava’s shoulder to emphasize her point, making the shorter girl sway a little bit with the pressure. Ava nods, attempting to show her apology through her eyes as she agrees. 

Mary nods in return, “Good. Let’s get started.” She releases Ava and heads towards the drum kit. Camila follows and grabs her bass from its stand, sending Ava a small smile as she passes by.

As Michael gets up as well, Ava pulls out her phone again, sending a quick text message to Beatrice.

 

Me : hey bea

Me : I cant make it to the library today

 

Bea :) : Oh. Okay.

 

Me : sorry! band stuff

Me : but Ill see you tomorrow!!

 

Bea :) : I understand. See you tomorrow.

 

Me : call later?? please??

 

Bea :) : Of course, Ava.

Bea :) : <3

 

Ava’s heart skips a beat at just a simple emoji. Any worry that she’s had as of late seems to fade away entirely as she smiles at her screen.

Michael clears his throat from behind Ava to catch her attention. “Right. Coming!” she says quickly, throwing her phone onto the couch before finding her way to her microphone.

 

~ Now Playing : Animal by Neon Trees ~

“Here we go again

I kinda wanna be more than friends

So take it easy on me…”

 

-

As practice comes to an end and everyone moves to pack up their things, Mary clears her throat loudly from her stool. The band turns to her, all expecting her to speak.

“I almost forgot, I have something to tell you guys,” She says with an uncharacteristically wide smile on her face.

Ava almost frowns at the sight. When Mary doesn’t elaborate, Ava snaps, “Well, spit it out already!”

“You guys know Shannon, right?” Mary asks, her smile turning into a playful smirk.

The rest of the band members all roll their eyes. Of course they know Shannon. She was an essential part of the band for 2 years during high school. Not to mention the fact that she is still one of their very best friends, despite her distance.

“Don’t act dumb,” Ava demands, although she’s already a little more excited at the mention of Shannon.

“Well,” Mary drags out the word as she stands up and hands her phone over to Camila with the screen unlocked. Ava and Michael lean over either of Camila’s shoulders to be able to see as well.

Camila squeals before Ava can even understand what she's looking at.

A plane ticket.

Shannon’s name.

Wait - A PLANE TICKET!

Ava looks up at Mary excitedly, “Really?! Shannon’s coming to town?” She snatches the phone from Camila’s hands and zooms in to look at the dates. She gasps and bounces a few times as she exclaims, “This weekend?!”

Mary nods with a grin still planted on her face, “She’ll be here Friday afternoon.”

Michael is attempting to hide his excitement, with very little success, “We should have a party when she’s here!”

“Yes!” Camila agrees, grabbing onto Michael's shoulder abruptly, making him stumble a little bit, “Let’s do it Friday night! It’s been so long since Shannon has been to a party with us.”

“It’s been so long since we’ve been to a party,” Ava adds excitedly, “This is so exciting!”

Mary grabs her phone from Ava and sends a quick text before shoving it back into her pocket, “Alright, party on Friday night. Invite whoever you want.” She points her gaze at Ava as she speaks. 

Ava is too revved up to even react to the way Mary looks at her.

-

Ava calls Beatrice after she gets home from practice, as promised.

The conversation is easy and slow, as usual. Ava talks about a new song the band has been working on. Beatrice talks about a book that she’s heard a few good reviews about. Eventually, Ava decides to be a little more direct with her words.

 

“I wish I could’ve hung out with you today.”

“Me too.”

 

Beatrice’s voice is quiet and soft when she talks to Ava like this, unlike her usual stoic intensity. Ava takes a preparatory breath.

 

“I missed you.”

 

Beatrice is quiet for a few seconds. Ava swallows nervously at the silence.

 

“I missed you too, Ava.”

 

Ava smiles and attempts to bury her head into her pillow, feeling a blush rise up to her cheeks.

It’s crazy how easily Beatrice can fluster Ava. She assumes it's a combination of her accent, and the honest sincerity she can hear behind her words. 

It might also have to do with the huge fucking crush Ava has on her.

Her voice is muffled by the fabric of her pillowcase when she speaks again.

 

“Okay, talk about something else or I’ll explode.”

 

Beatrice laughs quietly and it sends a shiver down Ava’s spine.

 

“What are you doing this weekend?

Perhaps we could set up a day to meet.”

“Well on Friday- OH!

That reminds me! We’re having a party on Friday night.

Our friend Shannon is coming into town.”

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“Yeah! Do you want to come?”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“It’s a party and I’m inviting you, silly.

I want you to be there.

You can even bring Lilith if you want.”

“I-I’ll think about it.”

 

Ava frowns at Beatrice’s sudden nervousness, apparent by her small stutter. She shakes any negative thoughts out of her head before she continues.

 

“Okay, just let me know.

No pressure, you know?”

“Of course.”

 

Luckily, they go back to normal after that, back to comfortable, smooth conversation. Ava falls into it easily. This, whatever she has going on with Beatrice, it feels right. If she needs to wait a bit longer and be a little patient with her, she’ll do that.

It’s worth it. Beatrice is worth it.

She’ll try again soon to talk with her about it. For now, this is enough.

 

They both fall asleep on the phone again, lulled to sleep by each other’s steady breathing.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

When Beatrice walks into class on Thursday, she’s surprised to find that Ava is already there. She’s even more surprised to find that Ava is lounging in Beatrice’s spot rather than her own.

“That seat is taken, actually,” Beatrice says with a small smile as she finds her way over to Ava.

“Oh does it-” Ava turns to look at the back of the chair, craning her neck like she's searching for something, “Does it have your name on it?” She looks back to Beatrice with a furrowed brow but a smile threatens to escape.

“Very funny,” Beatrice responds with a roll of her eyes.

Ava laughs before she switches her seat. Her backside brushes against Beatrice’s front as she squeezes past in the tight row. Beatrice holds her breath as Ava moves past her, trying to ignore the sudden feeling of desire running through her again and the feeling of Ava against her.

Ava plops into her true seat and looks up to give a playful smirk at Beatrice, who is still standing blankly between the chairs, “Are you gonna sit, Beatrice?”

“Y-you’re early,” Beatrice points out when she finally shakes off the fog in her brain and settles into her spot.

“Yeah, someone woke me up super early this morning and I couldn’t go back to sleep,” Ava says as she picks up her pencil and doodles something in the margin of her notebook.

“That was not my fault,” Beatrice retorts, “You were the one that asked me not to hang up again last night.”

“And yet you were the one that stayed,” Ava turns her chair and leans closer into Beatrice’s space, letting her eyes drop down to her lips. Beatrice finds herself mimicking the action minutely before straightening up and clearing her throat.

They’re in class .

Ava giggles knowingly and returns to her doodles.

-

Class has ended and somehow Beatrice finds herself pushed against the wall of a random supply closet in the science wing.

She’s not sure how this happened so fast.

First, they were leaving class. Ava didn't say a word, only pulled Beatrice by the sleeve until she followed like a lost puppy.

They wandered past hallway after hallway until they reached one that was unsettlingly dim. Ava seemed to immediately know her destination. She led them through, passing empty dark classrooms until twisting a handle of one of the doors and pulling Beatrice in.

Which leads to now.

Beatrice with her back pressed against one of the walls, and Ava with her hands pressed into Beatrice’s waist and with her lips against Beatrice's neck.

Beatrice can’t even find the words to attempt to argue. She tries, but comes out as a strangled, “ Ava ” which only spurs Ava on more.

Ava moves one of her hands away from her waist and trails it up to the side of her face, pulling her in for a kiss. It’s needy and desperate, the way they kiss each other.

Beatrice lets out a soft moan against Ava’s lips as her grip tightens.

Ava separates their kiss only to press her lips against Beatrice’s cheek, then her jaw, then just under her ear, then down her neck. She finds her pulse point and Beatrice gasps when she bites at it lightly before placing another kiss there.

“Come to the party, Bea,” Ava murmurs against Beatrice’s neck before her lips press against Beatrice’s skin again.

“Hmm?” The response is somewhere between a question and a moan.

“I want you to be there,” Ava says, letting her lips trail back up, barely brushing Beatrice’s neck as she moves.

Beatrice feels goosebumps form across her skin. She bites her lip to stifle an ungodly sound that threatens to leave her mouth.

Ava finds her way to Beatrice’s ear and whispers, something close to a beg, “Please, Bea.”

Beatrice groans at the sound and pulls Ava into a rougher kiss, one that has both of them panting into each other’s mouths.

Beatrice bites at Ava’s bottom lip. Ava responds by opening her mouth to let Beatrice’s tongue trace against her teeth and brush again her own tongue.

Beatrice breaks away from the kiss this time, only to repeat what Ava had done only a few minutes before. She lets her lips trace down Ava’s cheek and neck. She goes even farther to plant a light kiss against the skin above Ava’s collarbone.

Ava shudders and Beatrice smiles before moving back to her neck.

“Okay,” Beatrice whispers between kisses.

“Okay what?” Ava questions, seemingly having forgotten her own mission in the haze of passion.

“I’ll come,” Beatrice responds, pulling away slightly to look Ava in the eyes.

Despite everything, despite the passionate moment between them and Beatrice’s acceptance of the invitation, Ava snorts. Confusion riddles Beatrice’s features briefly as she searches Ava’s eyes, before Ava quietly squeaks out, “That’s what she said.”

Beatrice stares at Ava for a second, mouth slightly agape. If possible, she would blush harder. After a few seconds she scoffs, lets her forehead drop to Ava’s shoulder, and lets her arms dangle loosely at her sides, “I cannot believe you.”

Ava laughs and wraps her arms tightly around Beatrice’s waist.

 

Notes:

I KNOW, OKAY?
I KNOW!
they'll talk soon I PROMISE.

Anyway, thoughts?? <3

Chapter 15: The Party 2.0

Summary:

“You need to talk to her, Ava,” she says lightly, “Tell her what you’re thinking. Let her know that you want her.”

Ava inhales deeply through her nose and then nods once, with determination.

“I will.”

Notes:

Have fun :)

— a v a —

Ava is practically vibrating as she and Camila sit on their couch awaiting Shannon’s arrival. It’s been months since she has visited, which is way too long in their book.

The pair of them have been sitting in the living room for close to an hour, excitedly talking about what they should do during the weekend while Shannon is in town.

Ava suggested they hire some male strippers to crash the party.

Camila quickly shut down that idea. (“They’re lesbians, Ava.” “Yeah well not everyone is.”)

When Ava is up to her 7th or 8th suggestion, something about skinny-dipping in the public pool down the street (“No, Ava.”), the doorbell rings. Both of them bolt off of the couch, scrambling to be the first to the door.

Camila unlocks and swings open the door before jumping into Shannon’s arms, followed quickly by Ava. They all giggle excitedly as they part. Or, moreso, Camila and Ava giggle while Shannon lets out an amused chuckle. Mary is silent as she stands behind Shannon with her arms crossed but a smile pressed against her lips.

“We’ve missed you so much!” Camila exclaims, grabbing onto one of Shannon’s hands and dragging her deeper into the apartment.

“Yeah! How have you been? How’s school?” Ava asks excitedly as they all find their respective spots on the sectional.

“Good! OCSU is really fun. I miss you guys all the time though,” Shannon responds, punching Ava’s bicep lightly. 

Ava acts as though she’s been wounded, pulling up her hand to the spot she had hit and hissing through her teeth. Shannon rolls her eyes playfully.

“We miss you too, the band isn’t the same without you,” Camila adds.

“You say that every time I visit but I think you guys are doing great,” Shannon says, waving her hand dismissively, “Speaking of the band, where’s Michael?”

“He’s on his way. He’s getting some stuff for the party tonight,” Mary speaks up from her spot next to Shannon. Ava smiles as she looks at them, wrapped up together with Mary’s arm draped over Shannon’s shoulders, and Shannon’s hand settled firmly on Mary’s thigh while she’s tucked into her side.

While she genuinely is happy to see Mary and Shannon together, there is some sort of pit in her stomach that rises suddenly. A pit she’s felt enough to label pretty easily. Jealousy.

But that’s ridiculous. Why would she ever be jealous of Mary and Shannon? They’ve been together for years now. Ava has been there since the beginning of their relationship. They’re her best friends. So why does she feel like this?

As her brow furrows in thought, she finds Shannon’s curious gaze staring back at her. Ava blinks and plants her usual bubbly smile back onto her face. Shannon doesn’t seem very convinced by this maneuver.

Before she can speak up and say anything, there is a knock on the door. 

 

Phew. Saved by the bell.

 

Ava pops out of her seat quickly, “I’ll get it!” She feels Shannon’s eyes following her as she heads towards the door. When she swings it open, Michael is there with his hands clutching the handles of several plastic bags.

“Wanna help me out here, Aves?” His voice is strained as he hobbles through the doorway. Ava laughs and takes half of the bags from him.

“You know, you could’ve just taken multiple trips,” Ava points out as they settle the haul onto the kitchen counter.

“Up and down those stairs?” Michael says with a huff, “You couldn’t pay me to do that.”

Ava rolls her eyes and starts taking various food items out of the bags. Michael attempts to stay with her to help, rummaging through one of the bags himself, but he’s shooed away quickly.

“Go say hi to Shannon, Mikey. I can handle this stuff,” Ava says as she places a bag of chips on the counter. Michael’s face lights up, his blase facade dropping almost immediately.

Michael has known Shannon longer than anyone else in the group. They had homeroom together and grew close during sophomore year. He’s the one who introduced her to the others their junior year, claiming they would love her. No one realized at the time how right he would be. 

So safe to say, he’s pretty pumped about her visit.

“Are you sure?” Michael asks, although he’s already walking past her towards the living room. Ava laughs at his obvious excitement and pushes him lightly, further into the entryway. Michael nods and turns briskly.

Ava’s smile grows when she hears the two of them reunite in the other room. She busies herself for the next couple minutes, stacking the bags of various chips up against each other and lining up the rows of sodas. She settles the stacks of red solo cups next to them.

Usually JC would provide the alcohol, but due to obvious reasons, he is strictly banned from this party and any future parties that may be held by the band. So instead, they had unanimously agreed to all go to the liquor store together later on.

Just as Ava finishes setting up and is about to head back into the living room, Shannon walks into the kitchen. She has her mom friend face on, which Ava knows can only mean trouble.

“Hey Shan,” Ava says with a smile, although she is suddenly expecting a lecture.

“Hi, Ava,” Shannon moves past her, pulling open the door to the fridge and leaning down to look inside. Ava lets out a relieved breath and is about to start walking back towards the living room, when Shannon’s voice sounds out again, “So what happened with your crush?”

Ava practically winces. She had almost forgotten about her conversation on the phone with Shannon a few weeks ago. The one where Shannon had told her to go after her. To talk to her. She had at least done one of those things, right?

“Um oh yeah, Beatrice,” Ava says awkwardly, as if she had no clue what Shannon was talking about. Shannon straightens up with one of her eyebrows raised, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge as she does.

“Beatrice,” Shannon repeats, as if testing out how to name leaves her mouth. She shuts the fridge door and leans against it, “Okay so what happened with Beatrice?”

“We uhhh- Well we-” Ava isn’t sure why she’s stuttering so much. It's only Shannon. Maybe Ava deep down feels as though she’s doing something wrong with Beatrice. Like she’s going about it the wrong way. “We’ve kissed,” Ava finally gets out.

Shannon’s face changes immediately. While before it was somewhat stern and intense, now a sudden joy fills her features. “Oh!” She says excitedly, “Good! I thought the weird face was because you hadn’t talked to her like I specifically instructed.”

“W-what weird face?” Ava retorts, choosing to ignore the fact that she hadn’t really talked to Beatrice. But how was she going to explain that to Shannon without being either chewed out or punched?

“The woe-is-me face. You know, the-” Shannon cuts herself off to contort her face into something exaggeratedly sad, lips pulled into a deep frown.

“I don’t look like that!” Ava replies through a giggle. Shannon laughs as well. Then suddenly they are both standing there in silence.

Shannon twists the lid of her water bottle and takes a sip, but continues to stand there in the kitchen, as if waiting for something. Ava on the other hand, is hovering near the entryway awkwardly, torn between escaping to the living room or voicing her troubles to Shannon. Troubles that Shannon is obviously expecting, if her knowing look is any indication.

Ava finally breaks the silence as she leans back against the chip counter, “I didn’t actually talk to her.”

Shannon doesn’t respond immediately, just stares at Ava blankly for a moment. Ava takes it as her sign to continue, “We did kiss. Um… a couple different times actually.”

Shannon’s eyebrows raise. Ava isn’t sure if she’s shocked or impressed. Ava keeps talking either way, “But we haven’t really talked about what it means. And the other day I thought that I fucked up because. Uh.” Her voice trails off a little bit before she clears her throat to continue, “I thought I took it too far, or that maybe she doesn’t wanna, like, i dunno… have sex with me?”

It’s an admission that Ava hasn’t made out loud, this worry that Beatrice doesn’t want anything more with Ava than to just make out sometimes. That she would never want to go farther and things would have to stay exactly as they are.

Ava has been the one asking for Beatrice to stay on the calls at night. Would Beatrice do it if she wasn’t pressured into it? Ava is the one who flirts, the one who initiates most of their kisses. Does Beatrice even want anything with her at all? Or is she just too nice to say otherwise.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” Shannon asks with a tilt on her head. It’s only then that Ava realizes she’s been silent for too long.

“I just don’t know if she wants me,” Ava admits quietly with a shrug of her shoulders, “I feel like I’m pressuring her and that’s the last thing I want to do. She’s so good, Shannon.”

“Do you only want to fuck her?” Shannon asks, her voice too gentle for her word choice.

“No!” Ava replies immediately, appalled at the idea of only wanting sex from Beatrice and nothing more, “I mean I want to, don’t get me wrong. But that’s not all I want.”

“Does she know that?”

Of course she knows that.

Right?

Why would she think anything different?

Ava thinks about their first kiss. How she didn’t say anything and just surged forward to kiss her.

Ava thinks about their second kiss where she pathetically questioned whether or not Beatrice had enjoyed the first one. Beatrice had obviously been nervous too, but again, there was no conversation about it.

She thinks about how she yanked Beatrice into her car. How she basically begged Beatrice to touch her. Beatrice fled then, obviously overwhelmed. There was no explanation from Ava that this meant more to her, only that they didn’t have to do anything Beatrice didn’t want to.

Ava had even pulled her into some broom closet and kissed down her neck, felt her skin against her lips. In the dark, she begged Beatrice to come to the party. There was no clarification, even then.

Ava had been so worried about her own concerns that she hadn’t even thought about Beatrice’s. This whole time she’s been concerned that Beatrice didn’t want the same things, but maybe Beatrice just doesn’t know what Ava wants.

Everything seems to suddenly click in Ava’s head.

“Oh,” Ava mutters simply after a few moments of silence.

Shannon pushes off of the fridge and sets her hand on Ava’s shoulder. “You need to talk to her, Ava,” she says lightly, “Tell her what you’re thinking. Let her know that you want her.”

Ava inhales deeply through her nose and then nods once, with determination.

“I will.”

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice fumbles with the buttons of her black long-sleeve shirt, something that rarely happens to her. Usually she is as precise with getting ready as she is with every other aspect of her life.

But the current situation is frantic, to say the least. Clothes are strewn across her bed. Various pairs of shoes trail from her closet. There is even a mismatched bundle of socks settled near the bedroom door.

Now, she is standing in front of her bathroom mirror which is still slightly fogged up at the corners from her shower.

T-minus 15 minutes before she and Lilith need to leave.

Beatrice opens the bathroom door while still tucking her shirt into her dark brown pants. “Are you almost ready, Lilith?” She calls out towards the living room.

“I’ve been ready for the past 15 minutes, Beatrice,” Lilith snaps back. She’s been acting very casual about going to this party, but Beatrice knows that Lilith is nearly as nervous as her. She asked Beatrice at least 5 times when the party is supposed to start. She’s asked about 10 times if they’re supposed to bring anything.

Beatrice nods as if Lilith can see her before leaning back into the restroom, leaving the door open as she finishes her routine.

She pulls her hair up into its signature low bun, brushes her teeth, sprays a bit of her favorite cologne on her neck and wrists. As she finishes, she leans her palms against the sink and stares at herself in the mirror for a few seconds.

She needs to talk to Ava tonight. She knows that.

This has to be it.

She lets out a deep breath and nods at her own reflection with false confidence.

When she finally exits her room with 5 minutes to spare, Lilith looks her up and down scrutinizingly. Lilith always does this when they’re going out somewhere. It seems tonight is no exception. Beatrice was expecting it, if she's being honest. 

What she wasn’t expecting was for Lilith to close their distance and start undoing the buttons she had worked so hard to clasp.

“What are you doing?” Beatrice questions as she attempts to smack Lilith’s hands away.

“You look like you’re about to attend church,” Lilith responds with a glare, holding her ground to undo more of the buttons, “You need to loosen up a bit.” In the end, only the bottom few are left standing, exposing the white shirt underneath.

“Roll up those sleeves,” Lilith says before turning back towards her room, “I’m going to grab you something real quick.”

Beatrice rolls her eyes as she complies to Lilith’s command, starting the cuff on her sleeves.

It’s about now when Beatrice realizes that her nerves are rather high. It feels a little harder to breathe. Her mouth feels abnormally dry.

She’s not too sure why.

Maybe it's the fact that she’s meeting even more of Ava’s friends. Or the fact that she’s going to an actual college party for the first time in… well, forever.

If she digs a little deeper, maybe it's the fact that she’s nervous to see Ava in general.

Beatrice knows that she wants to have a talk with Ava. She wants to figure out what is really going on between them. She wants to tell Ava everything she’s been thinking. How much she wants to be with her.

But will a party be the right time? With Ava’s friends all around them? And loud music? And alcohol? And-

Her thoughts are interrupted by Lilith planting herself in front of her. “Turn around,” she demands. Beatrice squints her eyes in slight distrust.

Lilith rolls her eyes and brings up her hands, each one holds the end of a silver necklace. A small dagger-like pendant dangles from the middle of the chain. 

After a huff, Beatrice turns and lowers her head so that Lilith has an easier time clasping the necklace around her neck. Lilith spins Beatrice back by her shoulders, causing her to stumble a little bit with the speed.

“There, much better,” Lilith says curtly before turning abruptly towards the front door. Beatrice follows.

-

Beatrice takes a deep breath as they arrive at the front door. She comes to the sudden realization that this is the first time she’s ever been to Ava’s apartment. Another wave of anxiety passes over her.

Music can be heard through the door. It’s not too loud now, but Beatrice is sure it will be significantly more overwhelming once they’re inside.

“Soooo, are you gonna knock or do you want me to?” Lilith asks from behind her. She sounds confused by Beatrice’s hesitation. Beatrice turns her head slightly to meet Lilith’s gaze.

The nerves must show on her face because Lilith puts her hand on her back. Against her better judgment, Beatrice thinks that she might attempt to comfort her. Instead, Lilith pushes her forward slightly.

“Knock, Beatrice,” Lilith encourages, lifting up her chin to gesture towards the door.

Beatrice nods and lifts her hand. She gives the door 3 sturdy knocks.

A few moments pass.

Beatrice turns to Lilith, who shrugs simply. Beatrice lifts her hand to knock again when the door swings open. A rainbow of bright colored lights bursts out of the entrance. The sound of the music is suddenly louder, but manageable. 

A blonde man is standing almost menacingly with his hand on the doorknob. Beatrice recognizes him from the concert. Beatrice remembers Ava talking about him, this must be Michael.

His blue eyes snake up and down Beatrice form, as if attempting to collect information by her appearance alone. She feels herself straighten up under his gaze.

“You must be Beatrice,” Michael says coldly. Beatrice knows immediately what this is. Ava is his sister, through and through. This is the first of what she assumes is many tests to assert if Beatrice can be trusted with Ava.

“You must be Michael,” Beatrice responds with a polite smile, holding out her hand in front of her. Michael takes it firmly and shakes once. “This is my roommate, Lilith,” Beatrice introduces, stepping to the side to let them meet.

Lilith takes a step and reaches her hand forward as well. Michael takes her hand but still does not remove himself from the doorway.

“Nice to meet you,” Michael says before turning his attention back towards Beatrice, “Now, Beatrice, what are your intentions with my sister?”

Beatrice’s smile falls and before she can even open her mouth to speak, a familiar voice rings through from inside the apartment. Beatrice is filled with both relief and nervousness.

“Mikey, what are you doing with the door open you- Oh!,” Ava finally makes it to the doorway.

Beatrice’s breath gets stuck in her throat. Ava is absolutely stunning.

Her eyes run down Ava’s body blatantly, having no subtlety in their hunger. Ava is wearing a black cocktail dress that ends just above her knees. The neckline dips rather low, accentuating her chest beautifully.

When her eyes finally meet Ava’s, there is a small smirk settled on her lips.

“Ava,” Beatrice says breathlessly before clearing her throat, “You look amazing.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Ava compliments in return before turning towards their other guest, “Lilith, right?”

Lilith only nods. She’s either uncomfortable, annoyed, or nervous. All of those facial expressions look pretty much the same for Lilith.

“Right,” Ava drags out, obviously having expected more of a response, “Well, why are we all standing out here? Come in!”

Ava grabs Beatrice by the wrist, dragging her past a still slightly-intimidating-looking Michael.

“Ignore him,” Ava says with a wave of her hand, “He’s just being a dumb older brother. He’s only 2 months older than me, you know?”

Beatrice follows Ava blindly, letting herself be tugged towards the living room. She glances back to see Lilith also following them with her hands tucked into the pockets of her jeans.

There aren’t very many people in the house so far, just a small group huddled around the couch. Beatrice wonders if this is the extent of the party or if more people will be joining them. As if reading her mind, Ava speaks up, “You guys are the first ones here, other than us obviously.” 

She pulls on Beatrice’s hand to lead them closer to the group. Ava clears her throat loudly once she is close enough, “Everyone, I’d like to formally introduce Beatrice.” She gestures towards Beatrice with both of her hands, finally dropping Beatrice’s wrist from her grasp.

“Hey, Young,” Mary greets with a nod. “Hello, Mary,” Beatrice responds with a smile. 

“Right, I forgot you two know each other already, and you remember-” Ava is cut off by Beatrice.

“Camila, of course I remember. It’s good to see you,” Beatrice greets.

Camila practically beams as she replies, “Good to see you too, Beatrice!”

“And this is Shannon,” Ava introduces with a soft smile. Beatrice doesn’t know too much about Shannon, just that she lives out of state for now and Ava misses her constantly. It’s obvious how close their bond is by the way Ava looks at her.

“Nice to meet you, Beatrice,” Shannon says, holding her hand out to shake, “I’ve heard a lot about you.” She winks at Beatrice while still holding onto her hand.

Beatrice feels heat on her ears at the insinuation but she attempts to save herself quickly, “All good things, I hope.”

Shannon only hums with a small knowing smile, which only concerns Beatrice slightly. She shakes off the awkwardness to gesture towards her roommate, “This is my friend, Lilith. She’s actually a pretty big fan of the band.”

“Beatrice,” Lilith hisses under her breath as if scolding her. Camila tilts her head slightly and smirks at Lilith, “A fan, huh?”

If Beatrice didn’t know any better, she would think that she sees Lilith blush.

Wait, she is blushing.

Lilith doesn’t blush . But there it is, plain as day.

If they weren’t surrounded by people, Beatrice would poke fun at her for it. But she knows saying anything else right now would be a death sentence.

“Well let me buy our fan a drink,” Camila says, grabbing Lilith by her wrist and pulling her towards the kitchen. “The drinks are free,” Ava calls after them, “Don’t let her deceive you!”

Lilith glances back at Beatrice with a somewhat nervous expression. Beatrice smiles at her and sends a small wave.

“We’re gonna get some drinks too,” Mary says, “You two want anything?” 

“We’ll get our own in a few,” Ava responds.

“Thank you for the offer,” Beatrice adds on. Mary shrugs and follows Camila and Lilith, with Shannon trailing right behind her.

She turns her head back towards Ava, who is looking at her through slightly squinted eyes. It makes Beatrice chuckle, “What?”

“You’re acting weird,” Ava points out, still squinting. She pushes Beatrice's arm lightly, “You’re being too polite.”

“I’m… sorry? Would you like me to be rude to your friends?” She quirks up one of her eyebrows jokingly.

“No,” Ava says with a roll of her eyes even though she breaks into a small smile, “I just… want you to be yourself, that’s all. You don’t have to impress them.”

“But I do,” Beatrice retorts lightly, “They’re your closest friends, right? They mean a lot to you, and you to them?” Ava nods and Beatrice continues a little quieter, almost to where she wouldn’t be able to be heard over the music, “Then I do have to impress them.”

Ava dips her head a little bit before looking back up at Beatrice. The way that they look at each other now is unbelievably soft. Some unknown emotion fills both of their features. Maybe affection or adoration, or a culmination of the two.

Beatrice subconsciously looks down to Ava’s lips before meeting her eyes again. She watches Ava do the same. Ava starts leaning forward as if she can’t resist, Beatrice follows. Then there is a knock at the door that makes Beatrice bolt upright with a few blinks.

Ava visibly deflates for a moment before putting that soft smile back on her face. Beatrice tries to say something, anything to retract the reaction she just had, but Ava speaks up first, “Come on, let’s get some drinks.”

Ava turns towards the kitchen and Beatrice sighs before following.

 

Good one, Beatrice. Great start. 

 

— a v a —

Ava is trying really hard to not be hurt by Beatrice flinching away from kissing her before. She knows that this is a lot for the other girl. She’s in a new place with new people and new experiences. She can’t hold it against her.

So instead, Ava attempts to make her first real college party experience a good one.

 

It isn’t going too well.

More people fill into the space. A few of the party regulars minus Randall’s crew. The music is turned up slightly to compensate for the noise of conversation.

As the crowd grows, Beatrice becomes less and less comfortable. Ava watches as she shrinks into herself, attempting to pull away as far as she can from everyone else. 

They socialize for a little bit. Or Ava socializes while Beatrice hovers behind her, not really sure what to do.

They have a few drinks, but Beatrice only sips on hers. Ava barely drinks at all.

Eventually, the music switches to something fun to dance to. Everyone starts migrating together to move along to the music.

Ava sees her chance to make this night a little better.

She grabs Beatrice’s hand and leans forward so that her mouth is right next to Beatrice's ear when she says, “Dance with me, Bea.”

“Oh- I don’t know, Ava,” Beatrice says nervously, glancing around at the large group of people.

“No one cares, It’s okay,” Ava responds as she tugs Beatrice towards her. She drapes her arms around the other girl’s neck and moves her hips, swaying to the music.

Beatrice stays almost as still as a statue. She looks like she doesn’t know where to put her hands as she looks down at Ava's body.

Ava lets her hips bump against Beatrice’s, pulling herself closer to her, practically begging her to touch. To let loose. To feel.

Ava watches a blush crawl onto Beatrice’s face rather quickly. It would be pretty cute if Beatrice wasn’t pulling herself away from Ava a second after, “I need some air.”

She turns abruptly. For a second she just walks aimlessly until she sees the door to the balcony and beelines towards it.

Ava watches her leave helplessly, her hands dropping to her sides. Did she do something wrong? This wasn’t the right way to do this, was it?

She should’ve talked to Beatrice before. They should’ve set boundaries and-

“Follow her,” Ava jumps as Shannon's voice is right next to her ear.

“Jesus, Shan, you scared the fuck out of me,” She says, putting her hand on her chest to take in a stabilizing breath.

“You need to go talk to her now, It’s the perfect time,” Shannon responds, completely ignoring Ava’s reaction.

“I don’t know,” Ava says, looking towards the balcony door again, “She said she needed some air. I think she’s a little overwhelmed.”

“Yeah well, I think she needs you ,” Shannon says softly, nudging Ava with her elbow, “Go talk to her.”

Ava takes a deep breath and then nods.

She starts her trek to the back door pushing past people in various stages of drunk. Someone drunkenly yells her name but she doesn’t turn to acknowledge it. 

Finally, she reaches the door. She inhales shakily.

This is it.

This is going to be the moment that makes or breaks everything.

She is either going to be rejected or… something else will happen.

She hasn’t thought that far ahead yet.

Well she has , but those thoughts aren’t appropriate for the current conversation plan.

Okay just.

Open the door and talk to her.

Easy enough just-

She finally places her hand on the handle and opens the door, just enough to be able to slide through the small opening.

Beatrice visibly tightens up before she turns her head slightly and sees Ava. Her shoulders immediately loosen before she looks back out towards the dimly lit city. Her arms are crossed and leaned onto the metal railing.

“Hey,” Ava says gently, as if trying not to startle her. “Hi,” Beatrice responds as Ava leans back against the railing next to her.

Ava doesn't talk immediately. First, she watches Beatrice’s face as she stares out towards the horizon. She takes in how the moonlight hits her face perfectly.

She holds back the urge to tuck away a piece of hair that has fallen out of Beatrice’s bun. It frames her face so nicely, like somehow it was actually meant to be there.

She looks so pretty. Sometimes Ava is overwhelmed by how pretty Beatrice is. She really wants to kiss her.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Beatrice says softly.

“Yeah,” Ava says reverently, though she is not looking at the same view as Beatrice.

Beatrice lets out a breath and drops her head. It’s a little bit of a concerning motion for Ava.

“Bea?” her name comes out in the form of a question, although she says nothing else.

Beatrice inhales deeply as if preparing for something and then lifts her head back up, still not looking at Ava when she speaks, “My parents have always been… concerned… about appearances.”

Ava furrows her brow. This is not how she was expecting this conversation to go. She opens her mouth but Beatrice keeps talking, “I-I’m sorry, I know that doesn't make sense. I don’t know how to do this.”

“That’s okay,” Ava says, not knowing how else to continue.

Beatrice is quiet for another second before she continues, “My parents were very strict. I had to be perfect and I had to fall in line and I could not slip. I still cannot slip. I became skilled at so many things just so I would still have value, despite my flaws. Or what I had been taught was a flaw. I did everything I could to gain their approval. But when you’re punished just for being different, you begin to hate what you are. And what you love,” Beatrice finally looks up to meet Ava’s gaze, “What should make you happy, only brings you pain.”

Ava begins to put things together in her head as Beatrice continues, “I’m sorry, I’m going about this the wrong way I-”

Ava stops Beatrice’s ramble with a gentle hand on her upper arm. Beatrice sighs at the contact.

“What I’m trying to say is, all of this is hard for me,” Beatrice says quietly, “I’ve been told all my life that I’m wrong. By my family, by people who I thought were my friends. And the last time I was involved with someone she quite literally ruined me. I know you are not anything like her. But I’m scared , Ava.”

Ava’s heart suddenly feels like it's being squeezed. The pit in her stomach grows deeper.

It was never about Beatrice not wanting to be with her. She's scared. She has her own shit going on and Ava was too far in her own head about it to notice.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. And sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong-” Beatrice is cut off by Ava suddenly wrapping her arms around her tightly.

The position is awkward. Beatrice’s arms are pinned to her sides and Ava’s face buries into the outside of her shoulder.

“Ava?” Her voice sounds nervous. She’s scared . That thought haunts Ava’s mind, turns over and over through her brain as she tries to find her words. 

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Ava says, her voice muffled by Beatrice’s shirt, “You’re amazing. You’re perfect. What you are is beautiful,” She nuzzles deeper into her shoulder before pulling away slightly.

She finds Beatrice’s eyes, “I don’t care about your family or your past, Bea. I care about you . The real you. Right here. Right now.”

Ava swallows nervously before turning Beatrice in her arms so that they’re facing each other finally. She feels Beatrice settle her hands against her waist nervously while her own hands find their place on either side of Beatrice’s face.

“I just-” Ava looks between Beatrice’s eyes, attempting to find her courage “I have stuff too. Baggage. Trauma. Whatever you want to call it. And we can figure it out. The stuff with your family, we can figure it out. Together, okay?”

Ava uses her thumb to stop a tear from falling down Beatrice’s cheek. She feels her own eyes welling up.

Ava is quiet for another second, her breath getting caught between them. She moves her hands to link her wrists behind Beatrice’s neck. 

Finally she breathes out, tentative and nervous, “I want to be with you.”

That was a little more direct than Ava had initially planned. She had planned to give more of an explanation or maybe an excuse to why she had been acting the way that she has. 

Beatrice just blinks, as if she was just as surprised to hear that statement.

“Like be with you,” Ava says as if it’s much of a reiteration.

Beatrice still doesn’t respond, mouth slightly agape and she looks at Ava. Her grip tightens a little on Ava’s waist.

“As in…” Beatrice finally speaks, her voice barely above a whisper, “Girlfriends?”

“If that’s what you want,” Ava says lightly, attempting to push down the anxiety yelling at her.

“Is that what you want?” Beatrice asks. If the situation wasn’t so serious, Ava would laugh.

Of course that’s what she wants. That’s what she’s wanted the whole time. She’s never wanted anything more. She can’t imagine wanting anything less.

“Yes,” she whispers instead of saying all of that, “That’s what I want.”

Beatrice lets out a shaky breath and suddenly surges forward, finally connecting their lips into a deep kiss.

Ava sighs against her lips. Of course, they’ve kissed before. But something about this one feels so different.

The affection isn’t muffled behind apprehension or anxiety. It’s free and loud in the brush of Beatrice’s lips against hers. In the way Ava’s tongue glides across Beatrice’s mouth. In the small sound Beatrice makes at the back of her throat.

They part briefly only to meet again with the same burst of passion.

As they part, both a little out of breath, Ava asks with a smirk, “So is that a yes?”

Beatrice laughs, tipping her head back slightly before she presses her forehead against her girlfriend’s . 

 

“That’s a yes, Ava.”

 

Notes:

THEY TALKED THEY TALKED THEY TALKED

Thoughts????

Chapter 16: The Tour

Summary:

“Is this okay?” Ava whispers, suddenly self conscious about her choice. Her eyes flicker between Beatrice’s, searching for rejection.

But Beatrice only nods her head before wrapping her arms around Ava’s back and kissing her again.

Notes:

OKAY I'm so sorry this came out so late guys. This one was a struggle for me.
BUT to make up for it, it's one of the longest chapters so far.

I'm also going to take off Monday just so I can catch up on writing a little bit since I've been focused on this chapter this week.

slight TW : mentions of abusive relationship
this section will be denoted by *** on either side of it if you'd like to skip.
basically, JC was a piece of shit.

— b e a t r i c e —

“We should probably go back inside,” Beatrice hears Ava coo against her neck before placing another small kiss against her pulse point. Beatrice only hums in response.

They’ve been standing out on the balcony for close to 45 minutes. Their current positioning is Ava with her back leaned against the metal railing and Beatrice’s arms bracketing either side of her. Ava’s hands roam across Beatrice’s abdomen mindlessly, grabbing and pulling her closer at times.

They haven’t been able to stay off of each other. Ava has repeated the same statement multiple times for the past 30 minutes. She hasn’t seemed very committed to the idea of returning to the party, punctuating the sentence with a kiss each time.

It’s surprisingly easy for Beatrice, falling into this feeling.

It feels so good to know that Ava feels the same way about her. That Ava doesn’t care about her past. That she only cares about her present, who she is now and who she will continue to be.

Sure, it doesn't completely alleviate her problems and she still feels anxious in general about the future, but it makes her feel better to know that Ava is willing to walk with her through it.

She’ll have to tell her more about her family.

She’ll have to tell her more about her past at some point.

But for now, everything just feels good .

Eventually, Beatrice feels Ava shiver beneath her.

“Are you cold?” Beatrice asks with a worried expression, pulling away and rubbing her hands up and down Ava’s arms in an attempt to warm her up.

“It got a little chilly out here,” Ava admits nervously, looking up at Beatrice with a small smile.

Beatrice sighs and leans her forehead against Ava’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around her waist lazily. “We should go inside,” she mumbles. There is a slight apprehension in her tone that she’s sure Ava can pick up on.

“We should,” Ava agrees and it almost makes Beatrice groan, “But we don’t have to stay for the rest of the party if you don’t want to.”

Beatrice pulls her head up to look at Ava with a confused expression, “What do you mean?”

Ava is blushing, which is strange considering the fact that they’ve been making out on the balcony for roughly 45 minutes now.

“We could go to your place,” Ava suggests, “If that’s okay with you?”

Ah.

That’s why.

Panic builds quickly in Beatrice’s body. She attempts to push it down but Ava is too quick to pick up on it.

“It’s just that I can tell you don’t want to go back to the party but I really want to keep hanging out with you. I don’t have to go with you if you just want to leave, that’s completely okay i just-”

Beatrice cuts off her ramble by pressing her lips firmly against Ava’s. The effect is almost immediate, she feels Ava practically melt against her.

“I understand, Ava,” She murmurs as she breaks their kiss. She tucks a piece of hair behind Ava’s ear, making her sigh and lean into the touch.

“I want you to come with me. I don’t want to be apart from you yet,” Beatrice says with a soft smile, one that is mimicked by Ava.

“What do we tell our friends?” Ava asks.

Oh.

That isn’t something Beatrice had really considered before this moment.

“Do they know that we’ve been…” Beatrice’s voice trails off. She’s scared to know the answer. Has Ava mentioned their rendezvous to her friends? Do they even know about what they’ve been doing?

“Are you kidding, Bea?” Ava says with her jaw dropped slightly, as if she can’t believe what she’s hearing.

“Well I- No?” Beatrice responds with a shrug.

Ava lets out a small breath and shakes her head with a smile, “It’s honestly adorable how oblivious you can be sometimes.”

“Hey,” Beatrice furrows her brow with a small pout, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Ava starts before planting a chaste kiss against Beatrice’s lips, “It’s very cute that you think I haven’t gushed about you to my best friends.” She kisses Beatrice again, another small peck, “Of course they know that we’ve been…” She trails off just as Beatrice did, but with an exaggerated hand motion and a sly smile.

“They were actually upset that we weren’t dating when they brought it up the other day,” Ava admits, “But we don’t have to tell them anything yet if you don’t want to. Whatever you want to do.” She fiddles with the chain around Beatrice’s neck a little bit before locking eyes with her again.

Beatrice takes a deep breath as she contemplates her next move.

On one hand, she would love to tell the entire world that Ava Silva is her girlfriend. She wants to be able to show her off and be able to kiss her in front of anyone who might be watching.

But on the other hand, she is still new to this whole thing. It’s been years since she’s dated anyone. And Crimson was definitely not what you would call a loving girlfriend. She was the one who outed Beatrice to her parents, who forced her to come out because she didn’t want to be “hidden.”

Crimson was the one who told Beatrice’s parents that they were “ fucking ” straight to their faces. She was the one who broke up with her the next day and told all of Beatrice’s “friends” about the interaction. Told them how Beatrice had sobbed the entire car ride home after her parents said they wanted nothing to do with her unless she fixed her “problem”.

Then her friends refused to speak with her, taking Crimson’s side in whatever stupid story she had spread about Beatrice. The only one to stay was Lilith. That’s how it always is.

No one ever sticks around. And that’s why it’s easier to just be alone. Or at least, just her and Lilith.

But that is changing.

Ever since Ava first showed up, that’s been changing.

And that’s why this is all so terrifying. Letting someone in has only ever hurt her. She knows that Ava would never purposefully do anything like that to her, but the fear is so strong that it’s almost debilitating.

And she doesn’t want Ava to think that she’s being hidden. That’s the last thing she wants to do. Beatrice wants to be able to tell everyone how lucky she is to have Ava in her life.

But she cares about what others think too much.

She likes Ava’s friends. What if they don’t like her for Ava and push her away. Or what if they somehow tell her parents. That would ruin everything she’s worked so hard to put into balance.

It’s a stupid thought. They all seem great it’s just-

Fuck.

Beatrice doesn’t realize she’s crying until Ava reaches up to wipe a tear from her face. “ Hey , hey what’s wrong?” Ava coos, letting her thumb linger on Beatrice’s cheek, “It’s okay. We don’t have to tell them.”

“I-I don’t want you to feel like I'm trying to hide you,” Beatrice practically whimpers. It sounds pitiful to her own ears.

“That’s okay, I don’t feel like that,” Ava comforts, brushing her thumb against her cheekbone.

Beatrice takes a moment to compose herself. Taking a few deep breaths and wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“I want to tell them,” Beatrice emphasizes firmly, reaching back down to take Ava’s hand into her own, “We will tell them. But for now I want it to just be us. Is that… okay?”

“Of course,” Ava says with that signature soft smile that seems to be reserved only for Beatrice, “Whatever you want.”

“But what about what you want?” Beatrice says exasperatedly, squeezing Ava's hand lightly.

“I want you, Bea. I told you, I just want you,” Ava responds with a shrug, “The rest of it doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out later.”

She swings their hands a little bit as she continues, “I mean, I do wanna tell them but we don’t have to do it right now. They’ve waited this long, they can wait a little longer.” Ava winks and it makes Beatrice let out a breath of a laugh. 

“But,” Ava drags out as she pulls Beatrice towards the balcony door, “We do have to figure out what excuse we’re going to use to be able to leave together.”

“And Lilith is still here,” Beatrice seems to remember this suddenly, “She might want to come home with us.”

“Hmmm I don’t know,” Ava says with an almost mischievous smile, “Camila is very convincing. Remember when I told you that she’s had her eyes on some girl that always shows up to the concerts?”

Beatrice nods, vaguely remembering that conversation from after she had met Camila the first time.

“Lilith is that girl,” Ava says excitedly, “She told me when we went to the restroom earlier. Small world, huh?”

“Lilith did mention that the bassist is a ‘smokeshow’ when she was trying to convince me to watch you guys play,” Beatrice uses finger quotes around the word ‘smokeshow’.

Ava raises her eyebrows with a huge smile, “Oh yeah? What’d she say about me?” Ava pulls Beatrice closer to her, snaking her arms around her waist.

“I’m not sure you’ll like the answer to that,” Beatrice says with a chuckle, following Ava’s lead and wrapping her arms around Ava as well, “I believe she might’ve called you excessive.”

Ava pretends to be offended, letting her jaw hang open slightly, “Excessive? Me?!” It makes Beatrice laugh. Ava joins in softly.

“Anyway,” Ava says after their laughter dies down, “I have a feeling they’ll be preoccupied in there. Maybe I can say that I wanna make sure you get you home safe. We’ll take my car so that Lilith still has hers here. You can convince Lilith to stay longer, can’t you?”

“I can try,” Beatrice says with a shrug before separating from Ava and reaching towards the handle of the balcony door, “Let’s see if your genius plan works.”

Beatrice leans forwards to give Ava one more sound kiss before pulling open the door.

Music spills out immediately. The party is still going strong, with people getting more and more drunk as the night continues.

Beatrice has tunnel vision as her eyes search around the apartment for any of Ava’s friends or Lilith. Ava follows behind her, walking on her tiptoes to try to look over the heads of the people around them.

Finally, Ava points over Beatrice's shoulder towards the kitchen, where Shannon and Mary are both leaned against one of the counters. “Over there,” Ava’s voice is just loud enough to be heard over the music.

Beatrice nods and makes her way through the crowd, apologizing when a few of the partygoers bump into her along the way.

They reach the couple after a moment. Shannon has an eyebrow raised, looking between both of them. Mary looks as stoic as always, but Beatrice thinks she might see a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.

“Where have you guys been?” Mary asks knowingly. It's much quieter away from the crowd and the speakers, so they’re able to speak at a more comfortable volume.

“On the balcony,” Ava answers easily, “Where’s everyone else?”

“Last I saw Michael was dancing somewhere, I haven’t seen Camila in a second but last time I saw her she was with that Lilith friend of yours,” Shannon responds with a wink towards Beatrice.

Beatrice turns back towards the living room and cranes her neck to attempt once again to look for her roommate. Still nowhere to be found. She hums in confusion.

“I think I might know where they are,” Ava says, laying a hand on Beatrice’s arm to get her attention before looking back at Mary and Shannon, “I’m gonna take Beatrice home, and maybe Lilith too if she wants to leave”

Mary narrows her eyes at Ava, “You’re good to drive?”

Beatrice respects Mary’s protective behavior more than she can articulate. It makes her happy to know that Ava always has someone watching her back. 

“I’ve barely drank anything, mother ,” Ava responds with a roll of her eyes. When Mary doesn't back down and crosses her arms in front of her, Ava sighs, “I’m perfectly okay to drive, I had a total of 1 and a half drinks, and that was at least an hour ago.”

“Fine. But be safe,” Mary acquiesces before looking towards Beatrice, “Don’t let her do anything stupid, Young.”

“Of course,” Beatrice nods solemnly, a serious expression on her face.

Shannon laughs a little bit and nudges Ava’s shoulder, “Looks like we got ourselves a couple of party animals, huh Ava?” Ava giggles in response before Shannon continues, “We’ll probably head out pretty soon too. Would you guys tell the others when you find them?”

“Will do, Captain,” Ava says and she backs away with an over exaggerated salute, pulling Beatrice by the forearm as she goes. 

“Pleasure meeting you, Shannon,” Beatrice rushes through her pleasantries as she is tugged away from the couple.

They find their way into the crowd of people again. Someone hoots loudly next to Beatrice’s ear, making her jump from its abruptness.

“See, that went well, they didn’t even question it,” Ava half-yells over the music as they push past a few people and finally get eyes on Michael.

It makes sense why they couldn’t find him at first. He is one of the few people actually sitting on the sofa rather than standing to dance or chat. He’s holding a bottle of beer in his hand with his other arm draped across the tops of the cushions.

A girl is next to him, sitting a little awkwardly with her hands in her lap and an obvious blush on her cheeks. Michael leans towards her ear to say something right as Ava taps his other shoulder roughly. He turns his head with an annoyed look on his face, but it instantly softens when he sees his sister.

Beatrice is once again grateful for the people Ava has in her life. They all adore her openly, even if they have their own way of showing it.

While Mary is fiercely protective, radiating an almost angry energy that someone would be a fool to test, Michael’s affection is different. He would likely protect Ava with his life if need be, but his soft spot is more noticeable.

He is not afraid to show how much he cares for his sister.

It sends a small pang through Beatrice’s heart. She blinks the sudden thoughts of her own family away.

“Hey Aves, what’s up?” Michael asks with a smile.

“We’re leaving,” Ava says, gesturing towards Beatrice with her head.

Michael furrows his brow as he looks from Ava to Beatrice and back to Ava, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to take Bea home. I’ll probably stay there for a bit. Mary and Shannon are leaving soon too,” Ava says.

Michael narrows his eyes at Beatrice for a second. It’s obvious that he still doesn't fully trust her. She’ll have to fix that, and fast.

“Okay,” Michael says shortly, “Call me if you need me.”

Ava nods with a smile and ruffles his hair playfully before pulling on Beatrice's arm again.

“Was that his girlfriend next to him?” Beatrice asks as she’s led towards a section of the apartment she hasn’t been to yet. She recalls the nervous demeanor of the girl sitting next to him. The telltale blush across her cheeks.

“I don’t think so,” Ava says with a sudden look of confusion like the thought hadn’t crossed her mind, “I’ll have to ask him.”

They find themselves in a hallway with two doors right across from each other. Beatrice assumes one is Ava’s room and the other is Camila’s.

Ava confirms Beatrice’s thoughts as they reach the doors. “That’s my room,” she points towards one of the doors. A small wooden guitar hangs from a nail in the middle of the paneling, so Beatrice would have guessed as much.

“And this is Camila’s,” Ava suddenly knocks loudly without any hesitation. Beatrice can hear some shuffling behind the door. She looks at Ava with one of her eyebrows raised, Ava’s response is a sly smile.

“Okay, I’m coming in there in 5 seconds, you better be decent,” Ava calls through the crack in the door, “One… Two… Three…FourFive!”

She twists the doorknob quickly and swings open the door. 

Beatrice and Ava walk into the room a few steps, taking in the sight before them. Lilith is perched on the edge of the bed. She is attempting to look casual, with her hands crossed in her lap and her feet planted on the floor, but Beatrice can see the tension in her shoulders.

Camila, on the other hand, is laid back with her feet up on top of her crumpled covers and her hands clasped behind her head on the headboard. There is a small smile settled on her lips, “Hey guys, what’s going on?”

Ava is practically beaming as she swings her arms a little, “What are you guys doin in here?”

Beatrice can tell that Ava is teasing. And while that doesn’t seem to affect Camila at all, Lilith visibly panics. Her eyes flash to Camila and back to Ava.

“Nothing,” Camila answers casually, shrugging her shoulders, “Question is, what are you guys doing in here?”

“Ava is going to drive me home,” Beatrice answers quickly, not trusting whatever might come out of Ava’s mouth next, “I was looking for Lilith to see if she wants to come with us or stay here.”

Beatrice turns to look at Lilith with her eyebrows raised in question.

It’s then when she gets a closer look at her friend. Her whole face is a deeper shade than usual, redder than she’s ever seen her before. Beatrice’s eyes move down slightly and land on a rising bruise on Lilith’s neck, only halfway covered by the collar of her shirt.

Oh my god.

Lilith clears her throat, pulling Beatrice’s eyes back up, “I think I’ll stay here a bit longer. I’ll meet you at home later.”

Beatrice nods curtly and then turns on her heels, grabbing Ava’s arm as she does and pulling her out the door.

“Have fun,” Ava calls out with a chuckle before Beatrice shuts the door behind them.

“You didn’t tell them about Mary and Shannon leaving,” Ava points out as they find their way down the hallway. Ava has to take larger steps to keep up with Beatrice’s pace towards the exit.

“I honestly don’t think they’ll care right now,” Beatrice says with huff.

Ava laughs as she grabs her keys off their designated hook and Beatrice pushes open the front door.

 

— a v a —

Ava puts her car into park as they reach the garage of Bea’s apartment building, “Finally here!” 

She looks over at Beatrice as she unbuckles her seatbelt, finding her already looking back at her with a small nervous smile. Both of them stare at each other for a moment, in no rush to leave the car as they look over one another.

God, Beatrice is so pretty and she doesn’t even know it.

All she’s doing is smiling and it fills Ava with some overwhelming feeling that she can’t quite describe yet.

She’ll settle on affection, for now. Adoration maybe.

“You’re so pretty,” Ava says breathlessly, deciding that she needs to voice exactly what she thinks about her girlfriend.

Her girlfriend !

Ava can’t control herself. She leans over and presses a kiss against Beatrice’s lips.

It’s meant to be something quick but Beatrice’s lips are so soft, so perfect, that she melts against them with a long exhale out of her nose.

Beatrice moves, settling her hand against the back of Ava’s neck and pulling her closer, effectively deeping their kiss. Ava lets out a small gasp and braces herself against the center console.

Beatrice pulls away slightly, making Ava attempt to chase her lips.

“You’re beautiful, Ava,” she whispers, breaking eye contact only briefly to watch as her own hand tucks a piece of Ava’s hair behind her ear, “So beautiful.”

Ava crashes her lips into Beatrice’s again, needing to be closer to her. Needing to feel her. Needing her .

She adjusts in herself so that her knees are digging into the faux leather seat and she is slightly above Beatrice. She places both hands on either side of Beatrice's face and pulls her impossibly closer.

Ava feels Beatrice’s hand curl around her elbow, pulling and pulling.

Ava breaks their kiss with a huff and makes a quick decision. Before Beatrice can even ask what she’s doing, Ava is climbing on top of Beatrice, swinging her leg over her and effectively straddling the other girl in the passenger seat.

“Is this okay?” Ava whispers, suddenly self conscious about her choice. Her eyes flicker between Beatrice’s, searching for rejection.

But Beatrice only nods her head before wrapping her arms around Ava’s back and kissing her again.

It’s hot too quickly.

Beatrice’s kisses trail away from Ava’s mouth and to her collarbone, down her neck. Ava feels teeth graze against her skin and the feeling shoots directly to her core.

She has to pull Beatrice’s head back up before she loses control and fucks her in this car.

That’s not the plan.

She wants to do this proper and right.

Beatrice deserves that.

Ava kisses her again, holding either side of her face in her hands. When she feels Beatrice hum against her lips and tighten her arms around her, Ava breaks their kiss only slightly. 

“Let’s go inside,” Ava whispers against Beatrice's lips as she reaches beside her to open the passenger side door. Beatrice sighs at the interruption and drops her head back onto the headrest.

Ava separates herself from Beatrice to hop out of her lap and onto the cement floor. She holds the door open, bows, then makes a flourish with her hand as if she’s a valet, “Ma’am.”

Beatrice lets out a breath of a laugh and rolls her eyes before following her out of the car. Ava immediately takes one of Beatrice’s hands and laces their fingers together. She smiles and swings their hands, “Lead the way, Bea.”

Beatrice smiles in return and tugs Ava forward.

Soon enough, they reach the side entrance to the building. As Beatrice takes her wallet out of her pocket to grab her keycard, the nearby bushes rustle.

Ava jumps and backs up from the bush a little bit before hearing a meow.

Beatrice watches as Ava’s face changes from started to elated as the orange and white cat strolls out onto the concrete.

“Is this-” Ava starts a question, her voice excited.

“Macaroni,” Beatrice confirms with a smile and a nod. 

“Oh my god,” Ava coos as she squats down, holding her hand out for the cat to smell, “Hi there, Mac. My name’s Ava.”

Macaroni steps forward, takes one sniff of Ava’s hand, and then headbutts it with a happy purr. Ava feels a swell of happiness as she pets down his back, “He’s even cuter in person. Aren’t you, buddy?”

Ava clicks her tongue a few times as she scratches under his chin.

“Yeah,” Beatrice agrees lightly from behind her. Her voice is breathy and it makes Ava turn to look up at her. The look she’s receiving is almost overwhelming in its tenderness.

Ava isn’t sure how she ever thought that Beatrice might not have wanted to be with her. It’s somehow blatantly obvious now how Beatrice looks at her like she put the stars in the sky.

Ava wonders if she looks the same, looking up at Beatrice with so much fondness it almost makes her want to cry.

She breaks their eye contact to pet Macaroni one more time before standing up and pressing a kiss against Beatrice’s cheek, “Okay, let’s go, Bea.”

Beatrice, who had still been standing there frozen as she watched Ava, blinks a few times, blushes, and then taps her keycard against the lock, “Right.”

They make their way through a hallway that leads to an elevator. “This is fancy,” Ava comments as Beatrice presses a button on the panel.

“One of the very few perks my parents provide,” Beatrice says, leaning back against the handrail.

“Oh so you’re like rich rich?” Ava says with a raise of her eyebrows.

“My parents are quite well off, yes,” Beatrice answers, “They run a rather successful business back in London. I try not to take very much from them.” Beatrice grows quiet and looks down at her feet.

Okay, file that away for later.

For now, the operation is to get Beatrice out of her head where it seems like she’s suddenly sunk.

Ava steps forward back into Beatrice’s space, a bit awkward to do with the rising of the elevator. The other girl looks up and meets Ava’s gaze immediately, a small smile spreading across her face like she can’t help it.

“Remember that I don’t care about your parents, even if they are rich” Ava says softly, swinging her foot out to kick Beatrice’s shoe lightly.

“I know,” Beatrice responds, her smile not dropping. She reaches out to grab Ava’s hands. Ava brushes her thumbs over Beatrice’s knuckles.

They stand there like that until the elevator dings and the doors slide open.

“Almost there,” Beatrice says, pulling Ava along down a long hallway.

Ava looks at the apartment numbers on each door as they pass, trying to guess which one will be Beatrice’s.

708

Beatrice taps her keycard against the lock which clicks softly before she turns the handle and swings open the door.

“Welcome,” Beatrice says with a smile, gesturing for Ava to go into the apartment first.

“What a gentleman,” Ava laughs, brushing her hand across Beatrice’s arm as she enters.

As expected, the space is ridiculously clean. Ava is glad that she didn’t show Beatrice her own room because she would’ve been pretty embarrassed about it now. 

Her attention is immediately caught by the large bookshelves on one of the walls, filled top to bottom with books. She walks towards it and skims her hand across a few of the spines. She recognizes a couple of them from their study dates.

That reminds her.

“Those times we met up at the library and at the cafe, would you have called those study dates?” Ava asks suddenly, turning on her heels to look at Beatrice, who is still hovering in the entryway.

“Hmm, I believe I called them ‘meetings to work on the project’,” Beatrice answers with air quotes.

“But what would you call them now?” Ava says with a small tilt of her head and a playful smile on her lips.

Beatrice chuckles and shakes her head, “I would call them study dates, Ava.”

The admission makes Ava smile even wider. “Good,” she says before walking back towards Beatrice, “Now go on, give me the tour.”

“Right, the tour, umm,” Beatrice is suddenly nervous again. It’s usually pretty entertaining when Ava can make Beatrice stutter, but now all she wants to do is calm her down.

“I assume this is the living room,” Ava says with a chuckle as she waves her hand out towards the space.

Beatrice nods, “and this is the dining room.” She gestures towards where the dining room table is settled near the bar of the kitchen. It's smaller than Ava would have assumed, just a black square table with a chair tucked in on each side.

White placemats are settled in front of each chair. A small white vase sits in the center of the table but it is empty, and probably always has been. Ava makes a mental note of that as she follows Beatrice towards a different part of the apartment. 

“And the kitchen.”

The kitchen puts Ava and Camila’s to shame. It’s pristine and bright and probably the size of Ava’s bedroom. Brand new stainless steel appliances shine like they’ve never been used a day in their life, and maybe they haven’t. Or more likely, that’s just how clean Beatrice and Lilith keep their space.

White and gray granite countertops hold only a few smaller appliances on them. A toaster and a coffee maker, which is really the only sign that the kitchen is ever used, still filled halfway with coffee from this morning.

Beatrice starts moving again, Ava following behind her.

“That’s the main bathroom,” Beatrice points out a door in the far corner. “And the outside patio,” she points to a sliding glass door that shows off an impressive balcony area.

Two lounge chairs are set up with a small table next to either. Small fairy lights are mounted on the roof of the area, giving a cozy feel. She wonders if Beatrice ever sits out there to read.

“And these are our rooms,” Beatrice points to two doors right next to each other.

“Which one is yours?” Ava asks, looking between them and trying to decide which one feels more like Beatrice. An impossible task really, since they look exactly the same in every way.

“This one,” Beatrice points to the door closest to her.

“Can I see?” Ava asks, clasping her hands behind her back and rocking on her heels.

“Uh,” Beatrice cracks open the door and looks inside of the room briefly, “Give me one moment.”

Suddenly, Beatrice slides into the room and shuts the door behind her.

Ava hears some shuffling inside the room and chuckles before turning back towards the living room. Although there isn’t very much in terms of decor, the space feels familiarly like Beatrice. Clean cut, Classic. Maybe a bit more modern than she would expect but maybe that’s Lilith’s intervention.

Just as she reaches out to touch the back cushion of one of the couches, Beatrice’s bedroom door opens again.

“Sorry about that, please, come in,” Beatrice says far too formally. She’s tense, Ava can feel it. She’s felt it since before they even left the elevator.

But Ava won’t dwell on it. This night is just supposed to be about them. If Beatrice doesn't want to do anything but hang out, she’d be happy to do that.

Not that she wouldn’t want to do more. But, it's not a requirement. 

“Why, thank you,” Ava responds, making a bad attempt at impersonating Beatrice’s accent.

It does its job of pulling a small laugh out of Beatrice as Ava passes her and enters the bedroom.

The space is achingly simple. No posters or pictures on the walls. No fun bedding or flashy lighting. Just a desk, a bed, and a dresser.

The only personalization comes from a small stack of books on the nightstand. Ava wonders if Beatrice is actively reading all of them or if this is just where she holds her “to-be read” books.

Ava walks though the room, letting her hands brush the comforter on the bed as she moves.

“What do you think?” Beatrice asks, leaning against the doorframe.

“I think your bed looks more comfortable than mine,” Ava says before falling back into it unceremoniously, letting her arms spread out on either side of her.

Beatrice walks towards the bed and sits down beside Ava. She laces her fingers in front of her and stares down at her shoes. 

Still nervous. Obviously.

Alright, enough messing around.

Serious time.

Ava sits up and ducks her head to try and meet Beatrice’s eyes, “Bea, hey, look at me.”

Beatrice lifts her head and turns to look at her nervously, scanning Ava’s face as she swallows.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Ava says for the second time tonight, “I don’t have any expectations. We can just be together, okay?”

Ava reaches out and takes one of Beatrice's hands, pulling it into her own lap, “I’m happy just like this.”

Beatrice sighs and her shoulders loosen. She bites her lip as if holding back from saying something before opening her mouth to speak, “I want to get this all right. I just haven't done any of this in a very long time. And I don’t want you to feel like… like I don’t want you.”

Her hand squeezes Ava’s before she continues, “Because I do.”

Ava takes in a small breath as she looks down at their hands.

“I want you so much it drives me crazy, Ava,” Beatrice says, “But I’m-I’m nervous, I suppose.”

Ava nods before looking back up to Beatrice, “That’s okay. I understand. It’s okay to be nervous. And it’s also okay if you really don’t want to do anything. You can tell me. I won’t be mad at you.”

“I- no I didn’t think you’d be mad at me,” Beatrice says, scrunching her eyebrows a little, “I want to, Ava. Do you think that I don’t?”

Ava is quiet for a minute, looking back down at their intertwined fingers as she traces a small circle on the back of Beatrice’s hand.

 

***

 

Ava clears her throat before she starts talking again, “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to have sex with me. With JC- With my ex, I always felt like it was just sex for him. And if I didn't really feel like it… That didn’t really matter very much.”

Ava shrugs before continuing, “So I did it because I didn’t want him to get, I dunno, upset? Or mad? Or sometimes I did it just because I wanted to stop arguing.”

Beatrice turns to face Ava on the bed, not letting go of her hand as she does.

Ava still stares at their hands as she keeps talking, “The night that we broke up actually, was because I told him that I didn’t want to sleep with him. Well, more like, I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him that night and he found someone else who would.”

She shakes her head to clear the memory, “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is I never ever want you to feel that way. I don’t want you to think that I only want to have sex with you and I don’t want you to think that I’ll be upset if you say no. You can say no and I’ll still want to be with you just as much.”

She finally looks up to Beatrice, finding a swirl of emotions on her face.

Something like protectiveness and anger, but also care and understanding.

“He didn’t deserve you,” Beatrice says seriously, pulling Ava’s hand up to her face and kissing the back of it lightly, “You make me feel safe, Ava. You’re not anything like him. I want to… to have sex with you.”

It looks like the words sit uncomfortable in her mouth. Like she’s never really had to say them before.

Ava takes a calming breath, not realizing how tight her chest had gotten talking about him. “Okay,” she murmurs simply, her voice a little breathy, “Good.”

 

***

 

“I’d really like to kiss you now, If that’s alright,” Beatrice says gently, glancing down at Ava’s lips briefly before locking eyes with her again.

Ava smiles softly before nodding and leaning forward to meet Beatrice halfway.

 

Notes:

I KNOW I KNOW
yell at me in the comments.
I TOLD YOU ALL ITS A SLOWBURN

(Also sorry for any mistakes. This is BARELY edited)

Chapter 17: The Bed

Summary:

Normally in this type of situation, Beatrice would feel self conscious. Awkward. Embarrassed even. But right now, she feels the most safe and cared for she’s ever felt in her entire life. Ava looks at her as if she means something. As if this means something.

Notes:

AND WE'RE BACK... almost a month later.
I'm so sorry it took so long. I was visiting a friend in a different state for a few weeks and also this chapter has been really tough for me to write.

ANYWAY, we're finally using that Explicit rating ;)
...starting up right where we left off...

— a v a —

As soon as their lips touch, Ava forgets about any fear she had held.

The kiss is passionate, holding the weight of the entire night on its shoulders. Everything has come down to this moment.

Ava bites down on Beatrice’s bottom lip softly, soliciting a gasp out of the other girl. Ava feels Beatrice’s hands snake up her arms and land on either side of her neck. 

Beatrice pulls Ava forward as she moves herself farther onto the bed until her head falls back against her pillow. Ava follows easily, letting her arms settle on either side of Beatrice’s chest and her legs bracket Beatrice’s thighs. She breaks their kiss to look down at the girl under her. 

She looks down at Beatrice under her.

Ava can feel her own heart hammering against her chest. It’s hard for her to believe this is really happening right now. That she is really straddling Beatrice Young in her bedroom. That they are really making out in Beatrice Young’s apartment.

She leans down to press another kiss against Beatrice’s lips before sitting back up. She watches Beatrice chase after her as they part, a small frown pulling down at her lips when they don’t find purchase on Ava’s.

Witnessing Beatrice’s desperation almost makes Ava laugh. It wasn’t too long ago where she was questioning if Beatrice even wanted to be around her. Now, it's painfully obvious how much she does.

Ava takes her time to undo the few buttons still fastened on Beatrice’s overshirt, opening it up as she finishes and then sitting back on her heels a little bit.

Their breathing is heavy as they look at each other.  Ava reaches out one of her hands and traces it gently down Beatrice’s arm. 

Brown eyes study brown eyes as Ava watches Beatrice, attempting to read the gaze beneath her. Beatrice’s skin is so soft against her fingertips, practically begging her to continue touching.

“Is this okay?” Ava asks softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

 Beatrice takes in a shaky breath and then nods. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay? Whatever you want, just tell me,” Ava says, leaning down to kiss Beatrice chastely before sitting back on her heels again.

Ava lets her hand touch the skin that has become exposed on Beatrice's waist before trailing up above her shirt and settling on her ribcage. Beatrice lets out a small sound, almost a moan but not quite, as Ava’s thumb brushes against the fabric under her breasts.

“Can I take this off?” Ava asks, pulling at the undershirt lightly.

Beatrice swallows nervously but sits up, letting the overshirt slide off her shoulders. As Beatrice shrugs out of the fabric, Ava unzips the back of her own dress and lets her arms fall out of the straps. The top of the dress falls, bunching up around her navel.

Beatrice looks at her with wide dark eyes, lust unmistakable as they trail up and down her mostly naked torso, only covered now by her bra. Ava smiles and grabs at the bottom hem of Beatrice’s t-shirt.

Beatrice lifts her arms and lets Ava take off the undershirt. Ava throws it to the floor, not caring where it lands.

They take another moment to just look at each other, eyes scanning up and down each other’s bodies shamelessly. 

“You’re beautiful, Ava” Beatrice murmurs gently, almost breathlessly.

Despite everything, it is only now when Ava blushes. She feels her cheeks and chest grow hot under Beatrice’s adoring gaze. She ducks her head a little bit in an attempt to hide it.

After a pause, Ava responds, “Yeah well, you aren’t too bad yourself, you know.”

She smiles then sets her hand against Beatrice’s abdomen, pushing her flat against the bed as she leans down to kiss her again.

The feeling of Beatrice’s bare skin against her own sends jolts of electricity though Ava’s body. Her lips move against Beatrice’s hungrily.

She kisses Beatrice’s cheek, then her jaw, then down her neck a bit. Ava stops herself from going lower down her chest. Stops herself from biting the newly exposed skin above her breasts.

She reluctantly drags her lips back up to Beatrice’s and lets out a small sigh into her mouth.

Ava breaks their kiss to say, “Are you sure you’re okay with-”

“ Ava ,” Beatrice cuts her off with a tone close to a whine, her breathing heavy, “I don’t want to stop. Please , don’t stop.” She wraps an arm around Ava’s back and pulls her back in with a rejuvenated sense of passion.

It takes Ava by surprise, how Beatrice seems to have suddenly found her confidence. Perhaps their talk did more for Beatrice than Ava thought it did. Maybe she’s ready for this.

Maybe she’s been ready for this the whole time but just needed the right moment.

Maybe this is the moment.

Excitement and arousal floods Ava’s body.

Any reserve she was feeling before seems to snap, crumbling easily with the help of Beatrice’s small sounds and her own growing desire.

Hands wander unabashedly against whatever skin they can find.

Teeth bite and tongues dance against each other.

Ava never wants this feeling to stop. She wants more.

Her hips move suddenly against Beatrice’s without permission. Beatrice breaks from the kiss to let out a sharp breath.

Ava freezes, worried that she ruined the moment. That Beatrice would want to stop and they’d be back at square one. She’d do it in an instant.

She feels Beatrice’s hands move from her back down to her hips, grabbing at the bunched up fabric of her dress. She thinks that Beatrice will probably gently push her away. That she’ll say something like “Sorry Ava, but actually I’ve decided that I'm not ready for this at all.”

Instead, Beatrice pulls Ava’s hips down slowly, sighing at the friction created between them.

It’s a surprising action, but not one that Ava would ever complain about. Their clothes are still separating them but it already feels so good.

Beatrice pulls down again and a small moan escapes Ava’s mouth. Once more. And again. Until Ava is practically grinding on Beatrice’s lap on her own accord, with Beatrice’s hands just barely guiding her.

“ God , Beatrice,” Ava breathes as her head drops and her hands grip at the blankets where she is attempting to keep herself upright.

“Fuck,” Ava feels the fabric of Beatrice’s pants against the fabric of her own underwear. Oh, how she wishes there was less in between them.

She wishes she could feel Beatrice against her. Feel Beatrice inside her.

She moans once more at the thought before leaning down and capturing Beatrice's lips with her own. She lets her tongue slide across Beatrice’s bottom lip before licking the inside of her mouth.

It’s then when she feels Beatrice’s hips buck up instead of her own.

The feeling that courses through Ava as she feels Beatrice push her hips into her is practically sinful, crashing through her body like a tidal wave.

It causes Ava to pull away only slightly and search Beatrice's eyes. Beatrice looks almost embarrassed by her actions, which Ava decides she needs to fix immediately. She places a light kiss on Beatrice’s cheek, lingering there for only a second before pulling back again. 

Ava takes a few moments to just look at her girlfriend, letting their breaths mingle in the small space between them.

Beatrice is breathtaking. That is an undeniable fact.

Even more so as she is half-dressed and looking up at Ava with a mixture of emotions on her face. Lust. Nervousness. Affection. Apprehension. Care.

Lust stands out among the rest.

Ava wants to hear her speak.

She wants to hear Beatrice put to words every thought that is swirling around in her head.

And she really really wants to fuck her.

But first:

“What do you want, Bea?” Ava whispers, bringing her hand up to trace her finger down the side of Beatrice’s face gently.

Beatrice swallows before tightening her grip on the fabric of the dress.

“I want…” Beatrice breathes, her chest rising and falling dramatically as she speaks, “I want you . I just want you .”

Ava lets out a staggered breath and pulls Beatrice's forward with both hands, pausing right before their lips touch.

“How do you want me?” Ava whispers into the space around them.

Beatrice’s swallow is audible and Ava is sure she sees Beatrice’s blush darken, as if that would be possible. Beatrice opens and closes her mouth a few times before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“If you can’t tell me,” Ava whispers once more, kissing Beatrice lightly as a sort of soothing gesture. She continues, “Then show me.”

Ava hears another sigh escape Beatrice’s lips. She looks back and forth between Beatrice’s eyes, in an attempt to be encouraging.

Ava has another moment, in this quiet, where she can’t really believe this is happening.

A few weeks ago she though Beatrice hated her and now-

She feels Beatrice’s hands slide up her back tentatively and hesitate at the clasp of her bra, fingers hovering slightly above Ava’s skin as if they aren’t sure what they’re allowed to do.

“It’s okay,” Ava murmurs against Beatrice’s lips, “Take it off.”

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice takes a deep breath before her fingers undo the clasp gently. Ava lets the straps fall off her shoulders and the bra drops, exposing her chest.

Beatrice’s jaw hangs open slightly at the sight before her, blatantly staring at Ava’s naked breasts. It pulls a small chuckle out of Ava but Beatrice can’t bring herself to think of anything other than how much she wants Ava in this moment.

Or, if she’s being honest, how much she's wanted Ava in practically every moment since they became lab partners.

The tension from the past few weeks has been building inside her and this feels something like a boiling point.

Beatrice needs to touch Ava. She needs to be touched by Ava.

Beatrice sits up to lead a trail of kisses down Ava's neck. Ava gasps when Beatrice bites down on her pulse point then quickly soothes it with her tongue before moving on. Going lower. and lower.

Finally, lips brush against Ava’s nipple.

She presses her tongue flat against the sensitive bud and she licks, gauging Ava’s reaction. 

Ava tilts her head back and grabs onto the back of Beatrice’s head, threading her fingers through her hair. “ Bea ,” Ava moans, pulling the other girl closer to her.

And Beatrice wants to hear Ava say her name like that over and over and over.

She gently sucks, feeling her own pant of arousal warm her as she once again rolls her tongue over Ava’s nipple. 

She hums against it, causing goosebumps to rise on Ava’s skin, as Beatrice’s hand finds its way up to Ava’s other breast.

“ Bea ,” Ava moans louder this time, grinding against Beatrice’s lap again, searching for friction, “God, please .”

Beatrice releases Ava’s nipple from her mouth and pulls at the bunched up dress at Ava’s waist, “Can I-”

“Yes,” Ava agrees eagerly without letting Beatrice finish her question, already lifting her arms up to allow Beatrice to slip the dress off of her.

It’s thrown to the side easily and Beatrice’s mouth and hands are back on Ava in an instant.

Her lips attach to the breast she had yet to explore with her mouth, massaging the other with her hand instead. Ava’s almost desperate moan graces her ears before she pulls back slightly.

“You too,” Ava gasps, already working on unbuckling Beatrice’s belt with near expert skill. She pushes Beatrice back onto the bed. Beatrice huffs in brief complaint, before looking down to watch as Ava unzips her pants and begins sliding them off her legs.

Ava moves down to the foot of the bed, tugging the piece of clothing with her as she does. 

It’s overwhelming, looking at Ava while she’s like this, only in her underwear staring at Beatrice like she’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. Beatrice continues to watch breathlessly as Ava undresses her with her eyes before her hands follow suit.

Beatrice hands clutch at the blanket beneath her as Ava works, needing to hold onto something to be able to keep herself grounded. If not, she fears she might start floating.

As Ava finally pulls Beatrice’s pants off at the ankles, Beatrice feels a surge of confidence, spurred on by pure want and unadulterated need . She suddenly sits up and pulls off her sport’s bra before laying back down.

Ava’s eyes widen in some sort of mix of surprise and awe. 

Beatrice feels Ava’s fingers delicately travel up her legs and hook into the bottom hem of her boxer briefs, hovering there and tracing back and forth against her thigh.

“So pretty,” Ava whispers almost to herself, looking down to her own hands before slowly dragging up Beatrice’s body, visibly pausing at her chest before finally landing at her eyes.

Normally in this type of situation, Beatrice would feel self conscious. Awkward. Embarrassed even. But right now, she feels the most safe and cared for she’s ever felt in her entire life. Ava looks at her as if she means something. As if this means something.

She had never felt this way with Crimson, not once.

“Come kiss me,” Beatrice says without even realizing the words were leaving her mouth. She lifts one of her hands to reach towards Ava.

Ava complies quickly, crawling up the bed to meet Beatrice’s hand and letting herself be pulled into another kiss, this time with a significantly smaller amount of clothing between them.

Beatrice lets a small sound into Ava’s mouth when Ava’s nipples brush against her own. Ava smiles against her lips and Beatrice feels her hand slide in between them to squeeze at her breast.

Beatrice lets out a moan, breaking from Ava’s lips momentarily to gasp for air before kissing her again. Their hands travel up and down each other’s bodies, pulling and grabbing.

Eventually, Ava’s hand finds its way to the waistband of Beatrice’s underwear, dipping under the elastic slightly. Ava pulls away from their kiss to search Beatrice’s eyes for permission. 

Beatrice doesn’t think before she nods, canting her hips up in an attempt to find purchase against Ava’s hand.

Ava keeps her hand still and leans down to whisper in Beatrice’s ear, “Tell me. Tell me what you want.” She bites gently at Beatrice’s earlobe before moving down to kiss her neck.

“Touch me, Ava,” Beatrice practically begs, pushing her head back deeper into the pillow, “ Please .”

Beatrice feels Ava’s breath stutter against her neck before her hand moves further down into her underwear.

Beatrice inhales sharply as Ava’s fingers finally drag through her cunt.

“Fuck,” Ava breathes out, tone heavy with praise, “You’re so wet, Bea.” 

Beatrice moans as Ava’s fingers dip into her entrance, gathering some of the wetness there before pulling up to her clit. Ava draws small circles with her fingers and starts placing light kisses on Beatrice’s neck.

The sensations that Beatrice is feeling are overwhelming. Sex for Beatrice before has always been something quick. A means to an end.

But not with Ava. It starts slow, caring, with soft sounds muffled against each other's skin and an steadily increasing feeling of pleasure. With Ava, Beatrice feels… loved .

Oh god.

Before she can spend too much time mulling over that terrifying thought, Ava speeds up her movements, increasing the pressure against Beatrice’s clit. Beatrice lets out a whimper and grabs onto Ava’s wrist with one hand, needing to feel some sort of stability.

It feels like Ava is setting fire to her entire body, her movements causing the need to continue to build at a rapid pace.

Any concerns fade rather quickly, replaced by the pure satisfaction that courses through her as Ava touches her. Beatrice’s grip tightens on Ava’s wrist as her hips twitch against her hand.

“Fuck, Beatrice,” Ava murmurs into Beatrice’s neck softly between hot kisses against her skin, “Fuck, you’re so good.”

As Beatrice’s breathing grows heavier, Ava pulls back and studies her face with so much reverence that Beatrice has to close her eyes tightly to not get lost in it.

Instead, she loses herself in her pleasure as it builds and builds. Until it eventually boils over. She lets out a clipped moan and her thighs clench tightly around Ava’s hand as she comes.

Beatrice feels Ava’s heavy breath against her face but she keeps her eyes closed and her head dug deep into the pillow. The tension suddenly leaves her body and she relaxes into the mattress, still attempting to catch her breath.

She expects Ava to pull her hand away, to expect the favor to be returned immediately. Instead, Ava’s fingers trail down from Beatrice’s clit to her entrance.

Beatrice takes in another sharp breath as she feels one of Ava’s fingers dip into wetness.

“Is this-” Ava starts, pausing her movement.

Beatrice cuts her off immediately, “ yes .” The desperate whine that accompanies her voice surprises her.

“ Fuck , okay” Ava says under her breath as she slowly pushes one finger into Beatrice. She’s so wet from her first orgasm that Ava is able to slide in smoothly with practically no resistance.

They both moan in unison when Ava’s finger is fully submerged in Beatrice’s pussy. Ava curls her finger as she pulls out and pushes back in, taking it slow for a few moments, letting Beatrice get used to the feeling.

Rather quickly, Beatrice feels the need to have more. More of Ava touching her. More of her touching Ava. More of Ava inside of her.

“More,” Beatrice breathes out before taking a gasp of air, “ More , Ava.”

Ava’s eyes darken as they look between Beatrice’s. Without breaking eye contact, Ava adds another finger. Beatrice moans and presses her palm flat against Ava’s back, needing to have more contact against Ava’s skin. Ava’s lips quirk up into a small, almost cocky smile before she practically lunges forward to kiss Beatrice again.

Ava moves her mouth down to Beatrice’s neck, leaving a trail of bites and kisses as she thrusts in and out of Beatrice. 

Beatrice isn’t sure that she’s ever felt this good in her life. Pleasure racks through her body in waves as she stretches around Ava’s fingers.

She feels fully consumed by this feeling. By Ava.

The single word that circles around her mind is “Ava”

Ava.

Ava.

“ Ava ,” Beatrice moans before biting her lip, causing the other girl to immediately pick up her pace.

Beatrice feels Ava’s thumb find its way to her still sensitive clit, brushing against it carefully and causing a whine to escape Beatrice.

She’s getting closer and closer to another orgasm. They can both tell by the way her walls tighten in bursts against Ava’s fingers.

“Come for me, Bea,” Ava whispers in Beatrice's ear, before biting down lightly on the lobe.

Beatrice lets out a loud moan as she follows the instruction easily. Her whole body shakes as she comes, even more intensely than the first time.

“Fuck Beatrice, you’re so pretty,” Ava praises as Beatrice comes down from her high, placing gentle kisses on her neck and down to her collarbone. Beatrice raises up her arm and settles it over her eyes, as if attempting to hide herself from Ava.

Ava giggles at the movement, “That’s cute.” Beatrice can hear her smile almost as well as she could see it.

No one has ever called her cute or pretty after sex. No one has ever been so gentle with her after. It wasn’t as if she expected anything less from Ava. Just that, she didn’t expect for it to feel this good. This right .

“I’m going to pull out now, okay?” Ava says gently. Beatrice nods, still hiding behind her arm.

Even with the warning, Beatrice still shudders when Ava pulls her hand out of her underwear. If she wasn't in some sort of post-orgasmic haze, she’d be worried about where Ava might wipe her hand. 

“You did so good, Bea,” she hears Ava mumble as she leans in to kiss Beatrice’s cheek, then her jaw, then just under her ear, then once more on her neck.

Beatrice finally finds the strength to lift her arm and open her eyes. She’s met with a soft smile from Ava. Something too pure and sweet for the moment they just shared.

Some overwhelmed emotion must flash across Beatrice’s face, because Ava’s brow creases in concern.

“Oh, god. Was that… too much?” Ava lifts herself off of Beatrice slightly and Beatrice immediately misses the contact, “I’m sorry I-”

Beatrice cuts Ava off by wrapping her arms around Ava’s waist and pulling her forward again, connecting their lips soundly. Beatrice feels Ava’s relieved sigh more than she hears it. It’s as though Beatrice is breathing life back into her.

“That was perfect, Ava,” Beatrice coos as they part for air, “ You were perfect.” She runs one hand up and down Ava’s back a few times. She feels goosebumps rise under her touch.

When Beatrice tilts her head to kiss her again and then lets her tongue drag across Ava’s mouth, Ava lets out a quiet moan against her lips.

Everything has fallen into place. It’s like there is a sudden clarity in Beatrice’s mind. She wants this. She wants Ava. In every way she can have her.

Beatrice hums as an idea finds its way into her mind.

She wraps her arms tighter around Ava and abruptly flips them over with ease, switching positions with Ava.

 

— a v a —

Ava yelps in surprise as her head hits the pillow, “Beatrice!” She laughs as Beatrice starts peppering small kisses all over her face.

Her laughter dies down as the small pecks trail lower and slow down to hot languid kisses against her skin. Ava watches in awe as Beatrice slowly makes her way down her body, tracing between her breasts and down her stomach. Licking against the skin above her belly button.

Ava shivers, both from the touch and from the pure anticipation.

She needs Beatrice more than she needs to breathe. She has a feeling that after tonight, she’ll be obsessed with this. With having Beatrice like this. In quiet rooms with wanton moans and careful whispers.

Beatrice finally reaches the band of Ava’s underwear. In a moment that both surprises and pleases Ava, Beatrice tugs on the elastic with her teeth before letting it snap back softly to Ava’s skin. 

Ava lets out a shaky breath and reaches down to tuck a strand of hair behind Beatrice’s ear, letting her hand settle on her cheek. It's a gesture far too affectionate for current events, but Beatrice leans into the touch anyway. They both sigh, as if on cue.

Ava feels a sudden aching pain in her chest as she watches Beatrice. Something she’s never felt before. Not with JC. Not with anyone for that matter. It overwhelms her and she has to take a studying breath.

No time to think about that right now. She has much more important things going on. Like Beatrice looking at her and gently pulling at her underwear, silently asking for permission.

Ava nods abruptly as her brain finally catches up to her body. Beatrice gently tugs the fabric down and Ava lifts her legs up to help the process.

Beatrice takes her time slowly taking off Ava’s underwear. When she finally pulls them off of her ankles and tosses them on the pile they’ve created on the floor, Beatrice leans back and sighs reverently.

Ava swallows nervously under Beatrice’s heavy gaze, watching her eyes linger over her now naked body. Beatrice places one of her hands on Ava’s thigh and pushes slightly, spreading her legs even wider.

Ava whimpers. She’s not sure exactly why. It could be the desire she can see in Beatrice's eyes. Or the fact that Ava can feel how wet she is. Or the fact that Beatrice can see how wet she is.

Ava is startled when Beatrice runs a single finger through her cunt. There is a moan that resonates in the room, though Ava is not sure who it was from. Perhaps both of them.

But just as soon as Beatrice’s finger is there, it's gone, pulling away from her. Ava wants it back immediately. She wants Beatrice’s fingers to be buried deep inside of her, just like she’s wanted them for weeks now.

“Bea, please, what are you-” Ava starts, her voice desperate and needy.

Beatrice suddenly locks eyes with Ava and brings her now wet finger to her mouth. Ava gasps as she watches Beatrice stick out her tongue and drag her finger down the center of it. Beatrice then crawls up Ava’s body, slow, achingly slow, and plants her hands on either side of Ava’s head.

She leans down and kisses Ava, immediately pushing her tongue into her mouth. Ava tastes herself clearly on Beatrice's tongue as they brush against each other. She moans.

Ava breaks their kiss to beg, “Please, Bea, please.” She’s close to letting her own hand find her clit. She needs Beatrice now .

“How do you want me?” Beatrice whispers, a small smirk pulling up at the edge of her lips. If Beatrice wasn’t being so incredibly hot in this moment, Ava would roll her eyes.

But instead.

“Fuck me,” She whines, her fingers digging in to Beatrice sides, “However you want. I don’t care just, please Beatrice, god .” Ava tilts her head further into the pillow. Her hips rise up in an attempt to find any sort of friction.

Beatrice smirk grows into a full smile before she leans down to capture Ava’s lips once more. Briefly, only lingering for a second to be able to tug on Ava’s bottom lip with her teeth. Then, she makes her way back to her previous position settled between Ava’s legs.

Ava shudders as two of Beatrice's fingers run across her entrance once more. But instead of pulling away this time, Beatrice brushes them up against Ava’s clit. Ava hisses through her teeth at the satisfaction she feels when Beatrice draws a small circle there.

Beatrice continues her miniscule movements with her hand as she leans down and presses small kisses along Ava’s abdomen then down and down, until her lips hit damp curls and she's laying down between Ava’s legs.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting Beatrice to do. Something about her composed nature made it seem like she would maybe shy away from a lot in the bedroom. Not so much a prude but just… apprehensive maybe. However this Beatrice, the confident one she’s seeing now, is definitely no nun.

And she’s so fucking attractive.

Beatrice leans her head on Ava’s thigh, staring up at Ava with big brown eyes. Ava is absolutely entranced, her mouth hung open and hands gripping uselessly at the blanket under her. Beatrice pulls her hand away from Ava once more, takes the fingers, now coated in wetness, and puts them into her mouth.

Ava watches as Beatrice tongue swirls around them, tasting her. Ava feels another wave of arousal course through her.

Before she even realizes she’s speaking, Ava mutters, “Put your mouth on me, Bea. I want to feel you.” And for extra measure she adds, “ Please baby, I want to come on your tongue.”

As soon as the words leave Ava’s mouth, Beatrice’s lips wrap around her clit. Ava’s hips twitch at the sudden contact and she closes her eyes tightly as she moans.

It's immediately clear that Beatrice knows exactly what she’s doing. Her tongue hits the perfect spots. She knows exactly when to suck and when to lick.

Beatrice spends a fair amount of time on her clit. Until Ava is practically squirming against her mouth. Beatrice has to push down on her waist just to keep her in place. And Ava would be lying if she said that didn’t spur her on even more.

Beatrice holding her down. Beatrice making her come while pressing her deeper into the bed. Ava groans and moves her hand to lace her fingers through Beatrice’s hair. Her grip tightens and she moans when Beatrice lays her tongue flat against her and licks once.

Then, Beatrice moves, just slightly, letting her tongue dip farther and farther down until she’s at Ava’s entrance.

“Fuck,” Ava whispers in anticipation, attempting to keep herself still even though she’s shaking. But when Beatrice’s tongue dips inside her, she can’t control herself. Her legs wrap themselves around Beatrice, attempting to keep her as close as possible as she fucks her.

Beatrice moans against her, which Ava takes as a good sign, but all she can really focus on now is how good Beatrice feels. How perfect she moves. How much Ava wants to come for her.

Ava’s orgasm builds quickly, starting as a tightening feeling in her abdomen.

“ Bea , oh fuck, I’m gonna-” before she can say anything else, she feels Beatrice’s fingers slide down her abdomen and brush against her clit. Ava moans again, louder. Probably the loudest she’s ever moaned before.

Her legs clamp around Beatrice’s head. Her hand pulls Beatrice forward impossibly closer. Her breathing is erratic. Ava feels like she can’t truly catch her breath.

And through it all, Beatrice doesn’t stop. In fact, she speeds up her movements, easily pulling Ava to her peak.

“Bea, Bea, Bea , fuck ” Ava moans.

After she comes and her legs loosen, she swears she can feel Beatrice smile against her cunt.

Ava weakly pulls at the back of Beatrice’s head, prompting her to come back up from her position. Beatrice follows easily and Ava’s thoughts are confirmed. A satisfied smile graces Beatrice’s face, maybe one of the largest Ava has seen from her.

Her chin is dripping from her time pleasing Ava.

And she’s so fucking beautiful.

Ava pulls Beatrice forward and licks up her chin, cleaning a fair amount of her own wetness off of Beatrice’s face before kissing her. Hard. Passionately. A “thank you”. A promise that this will happen again.

Beatrice sighs into the kiss and falls to the side, wrapping her arms around Ava’s waist as she goes. Ava follows suit, threading her own arms around Beatrice’s neck

Their kiss continues for a few moments and they lay cuddled together on the bed. It softens eventually. With less of a hot, needy fervor and more of a sweet, relaxed feeling.

Ava is the first to break the kiss, settling her forehead against Beatrice’s lightly with closed eyes as she attempts to catch her breath.

“That was-” Ava whispers, but then shakes her head, unable to find the correct words to describe everything she just felt.

“Yeah,” Beatrice agrees without need for context.

Just as Ava places one more soft kiss against Beatrice’s lips, they hear the front door open and close. Keys jingle quietly as they’re placed on the hook.

Lilith is home.

Beatrice’s eyes widen comically, probably realizing that they could’ve been heard by her roommate had they finished just a few minutes later. Ava has to bury her face into Beatrice’s shoulder to stifle her laugh.

“Ava,” Beatrice whispers as if she’s scolding her, but Ava feels the breath of a laugh against her hair as well.

Perfect .

 

Notes:

;)

thoughts?

Chapter 18: The Morning After

Summary:

Ava’s smile grows as Beatrice blushes. “Whatever you want, Beatrice. I wanna do that.”

“I don’t want to be too much,” Beatrice admits quietly.

Ava doesn’t respond to that statement immediately. Beatrice watches her think for a moment before she says, “I’ll always tell you, Bea. You don’t have to worry about that right now.”

Notes:

This chapter is barely edited but I wanted to get it out today so if there are any mistakes, no there are not :)
I'm hoping I can get back to my Monday posting schedule but I'm STRUGGLING.
anyway, fluffy honeymoon phase : activated

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice is awoken by a streak of bright morning sunlight that streams through her window and directly into her eye. She inhales deeply and attempts to turn over, to hide herself from the light and get a few more minutes of sleep.

However, a couple things prevent this from happening.

One : Her arm is pinned in place under something. Pins and needles travel up to her shoulder when she attempts to pull away.

Two : Something is in the way, blocking her from taking up any more space in the bed. Wait - not something - some one .

Ava .

Ava is laying on her stomach, her head facing away from Beatrice but settled fully on her arm. The blanket is pulled up just below her shoulder blades, exposing her bare back.

Memories of the night before suddenly flood into Beatrice’s brain. Being under Ava Sliva. Ava Silva under her. If she thinks hard enough, she can still taste her on her tongue.

Beatrice lets out a deep sigh as a heat floods through her body. She gently drapes her other arm around Ava’s waist, adjusting slightly so that she’s able to lay on her side.

She stops herself from kissing Ava’s shoulder, as much as she craves the feeling of Ava’s skin against her lips once more. Ava deserves to get as much rest as she wants. She certainly earned it.

Beatrice wishes that Ava was facing her so that she could trace the features on her face. She’s sure that Ava is just as beautiful in her sleep as she is awake.

On the other hand, Beatrice is a little bit grateful that she can’t see Ava’s face. She isn’t sure that she’d be able to stop herself from kissing her cheek, or her neck…

As if she was reading Beatrice’s mind, Ava stirs, picking up her head and turning it abruptly. She settles back into Beatrice’s arm, nuzzling herself into it and settling her own hand next to her face before her breathing evens back out and she’s in deep sleep once more.

Beatrice swallows thickly as she’s now been given a full view of Ava’s sleeping face.

God, she’s gorgeous. Everything about Ava seems to draw Beatrice in. Her nose crinkles slightly and her bottom lip is pouted out a bit.

How did Beatrice ever deny herself this before? Having someone to fall asleep and wake up with. Having someone cuddled up to her in the morning. Having someone so beautiful wrapped in her arms.

Having Ava .

Ava’s soft breaths hit the skin on Beatrice’s arm. Her eyebrows crinkle, then relax.

Beatrice can no longer control herself. She picks up her hand from Ava’s waist and drags her middle finger lightly along Ava’s hairline, tucking any stray pieces behind her ear. She then lets her finger continue its path, tracing around Ava’s jawline and down the side of her neck.

Beatrice hesitates there for a moment, finding a mark right where Ava’s neck meets her shoulder. A mark that she left. She presses down on it gently. Ava stirs slightly and Beatrice watches as her brow creases.

Beatrice lets her finger continue its path, slowly trailing down Ava’s back. She gets right below her shoulder blade when Ava lets out a small sound, something like a whine but thick with sleep. Her eyes flutter open and immediately squint at the brightness of the room.

Beatrice smiles and then finally, finally , places a soft kiss against Ava’s shoulder.

Ava smiles in return and hums lightly, “Morning.”

Everything about early morning Ava is incredibly endearing. Her voice is slightly gravely and her features are achingly soft. She blinks slowly and smiles affectionately. Beatrice could look at her like this all day.

“Good morning,” Beatrice whispers, laying her hand flat against Ava’s back and rubbing a single circle there. It causes Ava to hum once more.

“How did you sleep?” Beatrice asks gently. 

“Good,” Ava responds quickly, a smirk arises on her face as she continues, “really, really good.”

Beatrice feels herself blush and buries her face into Ava’s shoulder, pulling a small chuckle out of the other girl. “Oh, look who’s all shy again,” Ava teases before turning to face Beatrice.

Beatrice had almost forgotten about the barely-dressed state in which they had fallen asleep the night before. With Beatrice in only her boxer briefs and Ava in… well… nothing.

Ava’s bare skin brushes against her chest. Ava’s legs tangle themselves with her own. Their arms wrap around each other, finding their places naturally. And although they are both mostly naked, somehow the contact doesn't feel sexual. It feels grounding and safe and… right.

Beatrice takes a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes and tipping her head forward to lean her forehead against Ava’s.

Ava mimics Beatrice's actions before murmuring quietly, “I really did have a good time last night. A really, really good time.” Beatrice can practically feel her smirk again. 

Her body grows warmer. She thinks once more of the night before. Of Ava squirming beneath her. Of Ava’s fingers inside of her. Of the sound of Ava’s moans bouncing off the walls. Suddenly their current position feels less innocent. 

A strong feeling of desire pools in Beatrice’s stomach again. Her arms wrap tighter around Ava, pulling her closer so that their breasts push against each other. Ava gasps lightly and Beatrice captures the sound with her lips.

The kiss is soft, slow, tired. And it is breathtaking.

Beatrice wants so much more of this. She wants to wake up with Ava in her arms every day. She wants lazy weekend mornings like this, kissing sweetly and touching softly.

Fuck Crimson and those who she used to call friends.

Who knows how her parents will react? What they’ll say. What they’ll do when they inevitably find out about them. But she’ll deal with that when it comes. Right here, in this moment, none of that is important.

All that matters is what she’s started with Ava. How she feels with Ava.

“ Bea ,” Ava whines. Beatrice is pulled back into the moment. She hadn’t realized that her leg had hiked up slightly, and is now pressing against a warm heat between Ava’s legs.

Beatrice pulls her leg back down quickly, “Sorry, I’m sorry.” Her apology is accompanied by a shake of her head. She hadn’t meant to get carried away. It was supposed to be a pure moment and Beatrice had completely switched the narrative.

“What, why?” Ava says in a daze, pulling her head away from Beatrice to look in her eyes.

“I- well I- umm,” Beatrice can’t seem to really find a reason for her apology. Maybe that she didn’t want to assume what Ava would want. Or maybe that she didn’t want to ruin the quiet space they were sharing. 

“Hey,” Ava, once again, pulls her out of her thoughts. Beatrice has found that she’s very good at that. Ava continues with a comforting smile, “You don’t have to be sorry. I already told you that I enjoyed last night. And, to be honest with you, I wouldn’t mind if last night happened again.”

Ava’s smile grows as Beatrice blushes. “Whatever you want, Beatrice. I wanna do that.”

“I don’t want to be too much,” Beatrice admits quietly.

Ava doesn’t respond to that statement immediately. Beatrice watches her think for a moment before she says, “I’ll always tell you, Bea. You don’t have to worry about that right now.”

Ava pauses for a moment, letting her hand trace up and down Beatrice’s arm a few times. She bites her lip before continuing, “Personally, I’m pretty sure I would’ve loved whatever might’ve happened just now.”

Another wave of heat passes over Beatrice. And she wants and wants. But doubt still floods her mind, “But you said with JC-”

“Sex was the only thing that mattered to him,” Ava cuts her off, “Is that how you feel?”

Beatrice is taken aback. She almost scoffs at the implication, “Of course not.”

“Exactly,” Ava says firmly, as if daring Beatrice to try to argue again, “You’re nothing like him. And unless I tell you otherwise, I definitely want whatever you want. Okay?” Her hands drift down during the statement and pull at the skin near Beatrice’s hip.

Beatrice inhales sharply at the contact. She exhales her response, “Okay.”

Ava leans in to place a kiss against Beatrice’s lips. Her tongue slides against her bottom lip as she tugs at the band of Beatrice’s underwear. Her voice is silky and low when she speaks, “I think I need to take a shower.”

Those are certainly not the words Beatrice is expecting to hear murmured against her lips, but they still send a zap of hunger through her anyway.

“Okay,” Beatrice responds too simply, still breathless with want .

“Come with me?”

“O-okay.”

 

— a v a —

Ava enters the bathroom first and takes a second to look around. Behind the bathroom counter a large mirror covers the entire wall. Unsurprisingly, the only things on the counter are a toothbrush in a tiny cup and a hand soap container settled next to the sink.

It's pristine.

Ava watches through the mirror as Beatrice enters the room behind her, eyes scanning up and down Ava’s body. Ava smiles as Beatrice's eyes meet her reflection.

“What are you thinkin about?” Ava asks lowly, letting her own eyes travel down Beatrice’s body in return.

“You,” Beatrice answers as easily as breathing. It makes goosebumps rise on Ava’s skin.

She isn’t sure she’s ever been looked at the way that Beatrice does. In such admiration. In awe.

“Will you come kiss me please?” Ava asks quietly, her eyes not leaving Beatrice’s.

Beatrice complies easily. She crosses the tile floor and draws her hand across the side of Ava’s neck, turning her to pull her into a kiss. Ava hums against her lips and grabs onto her waist.

She starts backing up, leading them towards the shower clumsily. She breaks from Beatrice for just long enough to be able to step through the glass door. Beatrice practically rips off her underwear before she follows greedily.

Ava doesn’t even have time to admire the first time she’s seen Beatrice fully undressed. She gasps as she’s pushed up against the cold tile of the wall. Beatrice’s lips are back on her own before she can complain.

It should almost be illegal how turned on Ava is right now. Beatrice taking control isn’t exactly what she was expecting, but God, is it hot. It seems that all she needed was validation that Ava was on board to let out some sort of sex fiend.

Ava doesn't mind at all. She’d give Beatrice everything she wants and more. She can take all of her.

She feels another wave of arousal between her legs as Beatrice moves down to her neck, placing hot, wet kisses against her skin. Her hand reaches up to palm one of Ava’s breasts, brushing over her hardened nipple.

“W-water,” Ava sputters out, not being able to form any sort of sentence with Beatrice’s mouth and hands on her like that. Beatrice smiles against her skin before turning the shower knob without looking, sending a spray of cold water their way.

Beatrice breaks from Ava’s neck and yelps as her shoulder and side take the brunt of the freezing water. She recoils towards the other side of the shower, so that they’re facing each other with the stream flowing between them. 

Ava laughs, despite how badly she wishes Beatrice was still her in her previous position. “That’s what you get for being cocky,” Ava teases, crossing her arms over her chest proudly.

She’s bullshitting, obviously. Badly hiding her desperate need for the girl in front of her. The newly naked girl in front of her. The devastatingly hot naked girl in front of her.

Beatrice only narrows her eyes at her comment, but Ava can see the small smile that sits at the edge of her lips.

The heat between Ava’s legs grows uncomfortable.

Fuck, she’s hot.

Beatrice holds her hand out under the water, waiting for it to warm before advancing on Ava again.

Almost immediately after their lips touch, Ava feels one of Beatrice’s hands start sliding down her stomach. It’s quick and needy, everything that the night before wasn’t. Ava’s hands grip onto Beatrice’s shoulders in preparation.

“Fuck, Beatrice,” Ava gasps as deft fingers run through damp curls to find her clit easily. Her head tilts back against the shower wall.

“God, Ava, you’re- you’re-” Beatrice breathes, looking down between them.

“I’m what?” Ava whines, desperate to hear Beatrice’s voice, “Tell me, please.”

Beatrice kisses Ava’s neck before she speaks, her voice sounding almost like reverent prayer, “You’re so wet for me.”

Ava moans at the words and brings her hand up to thread into Beatrice's hair. She nods frantically as she speaks, “Shit - Yes - For you, Bea, all for you.”

Beatrice groans in return, spreading up her movements on Ava’s clit and grabbing onto her waist with her opposite hand. Ava gasps and Beatrice finds her way back to her neck, biting and sucking and kissing. And it's all so much.

Ava’s orgasm builds as quickly as the steam filling the room.

Her hand tightens its grip at the base of Beatrice’s neck. Her nails dig into her shoulder. Her breathing shallows. 

Suddenly, and without warning, Beatrice moves her fingers down and enters her with two fingers effortlessly.

Ava cries out and drops her head onto Beatrice’s shoulder, unable to control her heavy breaths against the other girl's skin as she pushes her fingers in and out of her.

“Fuck - Bea - Fuck, that’s so good,” Ava moans, attempting to pull her impossibly closer, “Oh god - I’m gonna- I-” She feels her body going rigid. She can barely breathe as Beatrice pumps her fingers in and out of her at just the right angle. 

Just as she’s reaching the peak of her climax, Beatrice tugs Ava’s face towards her, pulling her into a scalding kiss.

Fucking shit.

Ava bites down on Beatrice’s bottom lip as she comes, shaking as the waves of pleasure pass over her. Beatrice continues to kiss her, letting Ava ride out her orgasm before slowly pulling her fingers out of her.

Beatrice runs her hand under the water briefly before wrapping her arms around Ava and pulling her flush against her. Ava buries her face into her neck, placing a light kiss there, “God, Bea.”

“Now, what was that about being cocky?” Beatrice questions. Ava can picture the smirk accompanying it.

“Oh, shut up,” She groans in response, but she’s sure Beatrice can feel the giddy smile that finds its way to her lips.

-

As they exit the bathroom, having cleaned themselves off adequately, Beatrice heads over to her dresser. She rummages through it for a second before she’s satisfied. She places a stack of clothes on the foot of the bed, before starting to pull on her own set.

Ava stands watching almost blankly as Beatrice dresses, having dropped the towel covering her completely. She doesn't seem to pay much mind to Ava being there, which is a welcome surprise.

She’s turned away from Ava as she pulls up her underwear. Ava watches Beatrice’s muscles flex as she reaches up to pull her sports bra over her head. Her mouth dries at the sight.

Her fingers have literally been inside this woman and she’s still flustered by just how gorgeous she is.

She’s snapped out of her trance by a clanging outside of the room. Ava jumps and turns towards the sound, pulling her towel tighter around herself instinctually.

“Ah, Lilith is awake,” Beatrice says simply. When Ava turns back to look at her, she’s disappointed to see that Beatrice is now fully clothed in a loose dark gray t-shirt and black sweatpants, with her hair pulled up into a bun.

Somehow, Ava still finds her devastatingly attractive. Her eyes trace up and down Beatrice’s body for what seems like the 100th time this morning.

Her awe must show on her face because Beatrice chuckles. She walks towards Ava, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her closer. “Get dressed and come join us whenever you’re ready,” she says before she places a soft kiss against Ava’s cheek, “Take your time.”

Ava nods with a soft smile as Beatrice breaks from her, dragging her hand across Ava’s arm as she leaves the room.

Once the door closes behind her, Ava tilts her head up towards the ceiling and sighs.

It’s still hard to her believe that Beatrice is the one that she’s had these amazing moments with in the past 16 or so hours. That she’s had sex with Beatrice Young .

Ava blinks her eyes shut and breathes through her nose a few times before she drops her own towel onto the floor and starts dressing. A pair of boxer briefs, light gray sweatpants, and a black t-shirt.

She hadn’t been given a bra, and while she could theoretically just wear the same one she had on the night before, she figured going without would be alright with Beatrice.

As she pulls the t-shirt over her head, she is overwhelmed by the smell of Beatrice. She pulls the collar up to her nose and inhales deeply.

She’d probably be embarrassed if anyone, especially Beatrice, saw her doing it. But there is something so comforting about being in Beatrice’s clothes, about having her lingering scent surround her fully. 

Even her smell is attractive, it's almost unfair.

As she drops the collar of the shirt, Ava takes time to look around the room once more. It really does scream Beatrice. Clean cut and perfect, other than the strewn around clothes still on the floor from last night.

Ava smiles at the sight before she hears another sound from the kitchen and a sudden anxiety fills her body.

She’s about to have to go outside of this room and see Lilith. Beatrice’s roommate. Who will definitely know that they had been fucking, if the hickies on both of their necks are any indication.

Not to mention she could’ve even heard them not even 10 minutes ago.

Fuck , she should’ve been quieter. 

Okay, okay. This is fine. Just a little bit longer in here and then she’ll go out and they’ll talk or something and everything will be fine.

But what if she doesn’t like her?

They’ve already met before but what if she gave off a bad first impression and Lilith despises her and tells Beatrice to break up with her and-

No.

No, that’s stupid.

Everything will be fine.

Ava walks through the room again, letting her fingers trace along the edge of the bed as she makes her way to the nightstand. She picks up the books there one by one, reading the names on the covers carefully.

She remembers the first as the book that Beatrice read from in the library : “ The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson”

But the next couple she’s never seen before:

“Open Me Carefully: Emily Dickinson’s Intimate Letters to Susan Huntington Dickinson”

“The House of Seven Gables”

“The Song of Achilles”

She replaces the stack, attempting to line them up in the same manner they started in. The movements are intricate, as if a single wrong movement could damage the books irrevocably. Ava stops herself after the 5th adjustment.

“Okay,” Ava says under her breath, hyping herself up to join her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s roommate, “Okay, no more stalling.”

She takes a deep breath and turns the door handle.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice leaves the room and pauses at her doorway for a moment to take a deep breath before making her way towards the kitchen. Lilith is facing away from her, watching over a pan with a few slices of bacon sizzling in it.

Beatrice passes behind her and opens the fridge, grabbing the carton of eggs. Lilith glances towards her briefly before focusing again on her task. Beatrice grabs a pan of her own from one of the cabinets and starts on some eggs, cracking two of them to start.

She clears her throat before saying the first words to Lilith since the night before, “Would you mind cooking a few more slices?”

“Hmm, why? Got a hot date in your room?” Lilith responds quickly before looking at Beatrice knowingly.

Beatrice blushes and breaks eye contact to stare at the eggs. “Be kind, Lilith,” Beatrice practically begs in a whisper, “please.”

“So, are you actually dating now? Or have you two just complicated everything even more?” Lilith asks with a slight bit of venom in her tone.

That gets under Beatrice’s skin a little bit. Lilith’s words don’t anger her, per say. They frustrate her. But she still isn't quite sure what she wants to tell their friends yet.

She wants to counter that they actually are dating. She wants to tell her best friend everything that happened last night. Well, minus some details she'd never want Lilith to hear.

But she isn’t quite sure she’s ready for that yet.

Instead, she has an idea of her own. A way to tease Lilith in return for her bluntness.

“How was Camila?” Beatrice asks, a small smile curing at the edge of her lips. Lilith would usually brag about any of her sexual adventures to Beatrice, despite any complaint.

Many girls have landed into the bed of Lilith Villaumbrosia. Generally they mean nothing. Just a “notch in her bedpost” by her own words. The fact that she hasn’t mentioned the girl she was with last night is very telling.

Lilith’s eyes widen and Beatrice can see her jaw tighten. Then, she rolls her eyes and shoulders Beatrice, “Fine, just… Shut up.” Beatrice chuckles at the slight blush that rises on her roommate's cheeks as Lilith places two more slices of bacon in the pan.

“At least tell me if it was good,” Lilith says as she grabs the bread from the pantry.

It’s Beatrice’s turn to blush. “Lilith!” She whispers through her teeth, looking over towards her bedroom door, “Quiet down, she’ll hear you.”

“What?” Lilith returns, almost louder than before. Beatrice slaps her arm and Lilith smiles slyly before lowering her voice to repeat, “so… was it good?”

“You guys talking about me?” Ava’s voice carries through the space. Beatrice is both relieved and terrified by the interruption. She turns to find Ava’s smile beaming towards her.

“Of course not,” Beatrice replies with a smile. Lilith says nothing. She doesn’t even turn towards her voice, just stares down at the pan in front of her.

Ava raises her eyebrows knowingly and her smile dims just barely, almost unnoticeable to anyone else. But Beatrice catches it like a hawk.

If she had to guess, Beatrice would bet that Lilith’s usual coldness doesn’t settle well with Ava. Perhaps she feels the need for validation, acceptance even. Beatrice makes a mental note to scold Lilith later, and to reassure Ava as soon as the opportunity arises.

Ava skips over to the bar, apparently unphased, and leans on it with both elbows, “It smells good in here.”

Lilith hums in acknowledgement. That, at least, seems to relax Ava a tiny bit.

The kitchen is quiet for a few moments. Beatrice has never felt as awkward in her own apartment as she does now.

Thankfully, the first two eggs finish cooking rather quickly.

“I’m going to go eat in my room,” Lilith calls out abruptly, snatching the eggs and some bacon and immediately b-lining towards her bedroom.

Ava watches as Lilith’s door closes and makes her way through the kitchen as Beatrice cracks more eggs into the waiting pan. “Well, I think that went swimmingly. What about you?” Ava says with a giggle before she wraps her arms around Beatrice’s waist, pressing her front to Beatrice’s back tightly.

Beatrice relaxes into the touch easily, sighing and closing her eyes. Hands slide across her abdomen a few times before they link together at her stomach.

“You just looked way too cute over here,” Ava says, kissing Beatrice’s shoulder once before pressing her face into Beatrice’s back, “You should feel lucky I waited until Lilith left, I don’t think she’d appreciate this very much.”

Ah, there it is. The real insecurity hidden behind a playful tone.

They stand there together for a few moments, silence only being broken by the sounds of the eggs cooking.

“She’ll warm up to you,” Beatrice says suddenly.

Ava sighs and wraps herself tighter around Beatrice’s waist. “I just want her to like me,” Ava’s voice is muffled by Beatrice’s shirt.

“Lilith takes time. I’ve known her since we were kids and sometimes it seems like she doesn’t even like me ," Beatrice responds.

Ava breathes out a laugh, “I don’t know if that’s as comforting as you think it is.”

Beatrice abruptly turns off the burner and spins in Ava’s arms. She places her hands on either side of Ava’s face and pulls her in for a soft lingering kiss. She can practically feel Ava melt against her.

“Is that better?” Beatrice says quietly as they part.

“Mmmmm no, I think I need some more comforting, actually,” Ava says with a smile before she presses her lips to Beatrice’s once more. She breaks the kiss with a satisfied hum, “Okay, now it’s better… Actually, wait, one more.”

Beatrice laughs as she pries Ava’s arms off of her and pushes her towards the table lightly, “No more till after you eat, now go sit.”

She watches as Ava pouts playfully but turns on her heels and finds her way to one of the chairs.

Beatrice shakes her head with a small smile on her face. She scrapes two eggs onto either plate, places two slices of bacon on each, and moves to join Ava.

Beatrice places one plate in front of her girlfriend before placing the other on her usual spot, conveniently on one of the sides closest to ava. She pulls out her chair, sits, then scoots close to the table.

Ava is smiling down at the food, yet to even pick up her fork. “What?” Beatrice asks with a matching smile.

Ava meets her eyes quickly, “Nothing, I just-” She closes her mouth and shakes her head, “This is really nice.”

“Having breakfast?” Beatrice asks, raising one of her eyebrows.

“No. Well - yes, but-” Ava takes a deep breath, “This - being with you, spending the night, waking up with you, eating breakfast, all of it - it’s just really nice.”

Beatrice couldn’t agree more. She’s infinitely relieved that Ava feels the same way. That the feelings she’s been having are reciprocated.

“It is,” Beatrice agrees when she realizes that she’s taking too long to respond. She decides to be a little more forthright, “I’ve been having a really good time. I’m glad you’re here.”

Ava’s smile widens and she leans over to kiss Beatrice’s cheek. It’s a little awkward and she has to stand up a little bit to be able to reach her, but that just makes it even more endearing.

“Thank you,” Ava says softly before she picks up her fork and starts eating. Beatrice follows in suit.

Yeah, she could definitely get used to this.

 

Notes:

Thoughts???

I also have a quick question.
I have SO MANY plans for these specific versions of Ava and Beatrice. But its gonna be a long road ahead of them.
Would you guys want to read more if I added more fics after this one wraps up?
Like a continuation of this story into a collection?? Kinda like snapshots if you guys have read that?
Idk that was my original plan but I'm feeling iffy about it now.

Chapter 19: The Honeymoon Week

Summary:

“Ava, the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get to other things,” Beatrice says with a huff as she swirls one of the test tubes around a few times.

Ava has taken her usual spot sitting on the lab table with her legs dangling off the side. She’s spent most of their time today asking to take a break. For what, Beatrice can only imagine.

“What kind of other things?” Ava asks suggestively, leaning forward so that her elbows rest on her knees.

Notes:

HI!
Okay so sorry this took longer than intended. I really wanted to get it out on Monday but this chapter really ran way from me. I was too ambitious in my planning lol.
This chapter is the lonest one yet at 6.7k words :D (The usual is like 4.5k)

Anyway, enjoy!

— a v a —

Sunday

As Ava lays on the couch, once again bored out of her mind on a Sunday afternoon, she kind of wishes that she had taken Beatrice’s offer to just stay the whole weekend.

She’s on her side, tucked into the back cushions of the couch, with her phone less than 6 inches away from her face, scrolling mindlessly through all of her apps. She starts with Twitter, switches to TikTok, back to Twitter, then to Instagram briefly. Nothing takes up enough of her attention.

She groans as she rolls onto her back. Just as she settles deeper into the cushions, her phone pings with a notification.

 

Cammy <3 : wyd?

 

Me : arent you in your room?

Me : why are you texting me?

Me : come out here

 

Cammy <3 : I’m not home :P 

 

What?

Ava abruptly stands up from the couch and walks down the hall, pushing open Camila’s door. A frown finds itself onto her face as she pulls up her phone again.

 

Me : wtf??? where are you?????

 

Cammy <3 : thats for me to know

Cammy <3 : and for you to NOT know

Cammy <3 : anyway, wanna go to that pizza place across from cats cradle?

 

Me : …

Me : hmmmmm

Me :  youre being weird >:(

Me : but yes

 

Cammy <3 : cool

Cammy <3 : invite beatrice ;)

 

Me : okay? why??

 

That’s right, Ava. Play it cool. Act like you wouldn’t love to spend more time with Beatrice right now. Camila doesn’t need to know anything.

 

Cammy <3 : just figured youd want her there ;)

 

Fuck.

She knows.

Well maybe she doesn’t know about the dating part but she at least knows about the sex part. It’s plain as day in her stupid little winky face. Now that Ava thinks about it, it must’ve been pretty obvious when she didn’t come home after the party that night.

 

Me : fine >:(

 

It’s not that she necessarily wants to hide their new relationship from Camila. In fact, she wants nothing more than to tell her best friend about everything. She wants to brag about how beautiful her girlfriend is. How happy she is to be able to call Beatrice hers. How good Beatrice is in bed.

But, more than that, she wants to respect Beatrice’s wishes.

And if they have to wait a little while to be able to tell their friends, Ava will do that. For Beatrice’s peace of mind. She’ll just have to be a little more creative with her white lies.

As she sits back down onto the couch, Ava pulls up her text thread with Beatrice.

 

Me : hi

Me : bea

Me : pssssssst bea!

Me : BEAAAAAA

Me : Beatrice Young you better answer me right now OR ELSE

 

Bea <3 : Or else what, Darling?

 

Me : oh…

Me : or else ill

Me : I DONT KNOW

Me : that wasnt fair :(

 

Bea <3 : Haha, I’m sorry.

Bea <3 : Did you need something?

 

Me : I cant just text my girlfriend cause i want to??

 

Bea <3 : Oh…

Bea <3 : Of course you can. I love talking to you.

 

Me : <3 <3 <3

Me : me too!!!

Me : but i actually did have something to ask

Me : wyd rn

 

Bea <3 : Reading for class. I’m almost done with this one though.

 

Me : good!! so when youre done do you want to come with me and cam to get pizza?

Me : but fair warning, shes being weird today

 

Bea <3 : It might have to do with the fact that she just left our apartment while they thought I wasn’t paying attention.

 

Me : WHAT???

Me : THATS WHERE SHE WAS??

Me : and lilith looked at ME crazy when I stayed the night >:(

 

Bea <3 : Admittedly, I’m going to enjoy poking at Lilith about this.

Bea <3 : She’s been insufferable about you and I.

Bea <3 : Anyway, yes, I would love to join you for lunch.

Bea <3 : I’ll finish this up and then head that way.

 

Me : Wanna come pick me up? ;)

 

Bea <3 : Of course, Darling. Be there soon <3

 

Butterflies instantly fill Ava’s stomach. All she did was say darling and add a little heart but Ava feels a pang in her chest from the gesture.

This girl will be the death of her.

-

Soon enough, the three of them are seated together at the pizza shop, Cruciform Crust. Ava sits next to Beatrice and directly across from Camila in their booth, making it a little difficult to avoid Camila’s almost quizzical gaze.

They’ve all ordered their pizzas already from the front counter. Now it’s just a waiting game for them to finish cooking. Ava attempts to subliminally tell Camila to keep any suggestive comments out of her mouth, for all of their sakes honestly.

It doesn't seem to work, because not even a minute later, Camila speaks up, “So, did you guys have fun at the party? What’d you guys get up to after?”

Ava is expecting Beatrice to stiffen up or avoid conversation completely. Instead, she only blushes a bit before responding, “I had a good time. What about you, Ava?”

Beatrice turns to her then, a soft smile on her lips and a red tint to her cheeks. It's incredibly adorable and if Camila wasn’t right in front of them, she would kiss her.

“Uh,” Ava struggles to speak with the sudden need to make out with her girlfriend, “Yeah, fun times.”

Camila raises one of her eyebrows and looks between them briefly. Just as she opens her mouth to speak again, Ava’s name is called out from the counter.

“Looks like my pizza’s ready!” Ava says, scooching out of the booth, “Wanna come with me, Bea?”

Beatrice furrows her brow with a questioning look but then follows after her.

“Be right back, Cam. We’ll get yours too if it comes up,” Ava smiles sweetly at her roommate, who looks like she might object. Ava quickly turns though, pulling Beatrice forward by her elbow.

When they’re far enough from the table to be out of Camila’s range, Ava murmurs, “Sorry, I just knew that she would attack you with questions while I wasn't there.”

“Ahh, I see,” Beatrice responds, nodding her head as they walk, “and here I thought that you just wanted to stay near me.”

“Well, that’s true too, obviously,” Ava says with a roll of her eyes but a playful smile on her face, “I really wanted to kiss you a second ago, you know. You looked way too cute.”

Beatrice blushes again and ducks her head before she quietly admits, “I wanted to kiss you too.”

Ava’s smile widens and they finally reach the counter. Ava picks up her pizza and decides to wait around for the others as well. Partly to avoid having to get up again, and partly to have one-on-one time with Beatrice.

They stand there in silence. Ava’s empty hand aches to reach out to be able to touch Beatrice in any way. To hold hands, or grab onto her arm. To just be closer to her in general. Ava wasn’t expecting it to be this difficult to keep her hands to herself.

She doesn’t even realize Beatrice’s hand reaching for her own until she feels her fingers slot in between hers. Ava’s head turns quickly, first to Beatrice, then towards the table where Camila is sitting. She’s faced away from them, but it still doesn't make Ava feel any better.

Ava doesn’t let go of Beatrice’s hand but whispers, “Bea, Camila is right there.”

“I think I want you to tell her,” Beatrice says softly, squeezing on Ava’s hand lightly. Ava’s mouth gapes a little bit in shock. 

This was much faster than she was expecting. It’s only been two days since they had officially become girlfriends. Two days since they had agreed to keep it a secret for a little while.

“Really?” Ava asks. Beatrice nods simply. “Are you sure? What changed? I don’t-”

“I was thinking about it last night,” Beatrice says before taking a deep breath, “I don’t want to have to hide from our roommates. They’re going to know either way. And I would rather them know that we’re dating rather than assume worse. Lilith already thinks that we’re just… hooking up.”

Beatrice cringes at the phrase and it’s incredibly endearing. Ava’s brain can’t even catch up to what the other girl is saying. As she’s attempting to process, Beatrice’s name is called and she grabs her pizza, not letting go of Ava’s hand as she does.

“Okay so, you do want to tell our friends?” Ava clarifies.

“Just Camila and Lilith for now,” Beatrice responds. Her thumb brushes soothing circles on Ava’s palm, though Ava is not sure who the gesture is truly for.

“And you’re sure about it? You know that we can wait as long as you want to,” Ava says gently.

“I’m sure. I want them to know. I trust Lilith with my life. And you trust Camila?” Beatrice asks with a raise of her eyebrows.

“With everything I have,” Ava answers with certainty. She has never been so sure about anything in her life.

“Then we start with them, and wait for the others,” Beatrice says with a nod, “I think that’s a good place to start for me, If that’s okay with you.”

“More than,” Ava says with a smile before leaning in to place a light kiss on Beatrice’s cheek, “I can’t wait to brag to my best friend about you.”

Camila’s name is finally called. Beatrice stacks her pizza on top of her own and then the pair makes their way back towards their table, not releasing each other’s hands.

When they return, Camila’s eyes immediately drop down to their intertwined fingers. A huge smile graces her face as they place down the pizzas and slide back into the booth.

“Soooo, Camila,” Ava starts, badly attempting to hide her own grin.

“Mhmmmm,” Camila feigns nonchalant, looking between the couple expectantly.

“This is my girlfriend, Beatrice,” Ava says. Beatrice smiles at her in return.

Camila squeals happily, bouncing in her seat a few times, “Thank god . You know she could not stop talking about you. It was really-”

“Okay! Alright! Cam, let’s not scare her off,” Ava interrupts, feeling her ears turn red.

But Beatrice only laughs lightly at Camila’s antics. She scoots closer to Ava and places her hand right above her knee, “No, I would like to hear about this, actually.”

“Oh God,” Ava grumbles, pulling her hands up to cover her face.

 

Monday

Band practice is going rather smoothly today. Contrary to usual rehearsals, there have been no mistakes in the songs and everyone is working super well together. It probably helps that Ava is in an outstanding mood, which she naturally spreads over the group.

After hours of playing, they finally get to their last song of the night.

 

~ Now Playing : Telephone by Waterparks

“I'd like to know your middle name

Let's talk about your parents and your future dreams

I'm interested but distant to a fault

And I never wanna complicate your heart”

 

Ava chances a look over at Camila, who raises her eyebrows suggestively before nodding for Ava to continue. They are both fully aware of the next lyrics. 

 

“I've gotta let you know

That I think that I love you so

You could be my only one

'Cause I think that I love you so”

 

Ava can’t help but think of Beatrice when she sings. It’s not her fault that everything seems to link back to her. And, to be fair, Ava thinks about Beatrice most of the time, so it’s not very different from the norm.

But sometimes the lyrics are a little too real.

 

“I know we only just met

So why do I feel invested?

And do you feel it too?

Do you feel it too?

I could be your best yet

Future favorite regret

Do you feel it too?

Do you feel it too?”

 

Ava knows that she’s putting more into the words than she usually does during practices, letting her emotions seep into her voice as she sings. But she can’t help it.

Ava looks back at her other bandmates briefly. Michael and Mary are only half focused on their instruments, both halfway tuned into Ava’s mannerisms. Usually, it wouldn’t bother her.

But with her and Beatrice’s half-kept secret, she has something to lose now by their judgmental gaze.

 

“So I’ll just tell my telephone

All of the above when I’m alone.”

 

-

As the song finishes, Ava wipes beads of sweat off her forehead, punctuating the movement with a dramatic, “Phew!” She plops down onto the couch, stretching her arms above her head and kicking her feet out.

“Great practice guys!” Ava commends loudly as the others place down their own instruments to join her.

“You’re awfully chipper today, Ava,” Mary comments with a raise of one of her eyebrows, “Does it have anything to do with-”

“What? I can’t just be in a good mood?” Ava interrupts with a shrug that she hopes is casual enough to be convincing.

“You can,” Michael supplies, tilting his head with a small smile lingering on his lips, “but as the people nearest and dearest to you, I believe we should have the privilege to know why.”

Camila speaks up, “We should just be happy that she’s happy, right? It doesn’t matter why.”

“Hey, who’s side are you on?” Mary questions Camila with a furrow of her brow. 

Camila’s hands come up in surrender, “I’m just saying, we played really well today so whatever put her in this good mood, we should be thankful for. She doesn’t have to tell us everything .”

Thank God for Camila.

The interrogation seems to cease with Camila’s reasoning, settling a thoughtful silence over the group.

Michael hums before reaching over and ruffling Ava’s hair, much to her annoyance. She swats at his hand with a huff.

“Well, whatever it is,” Michael starts, in a tone that makes it seem obvious that he already knows, “I’m very happy for you, little sister.”

“Me too,” Mary agrees, “even though I have no clue at all what this could be about.” Her voice is dripping with sarcasm and it pulls a laugh out of Ava.

For some reason she feels like she’s on the verge of tears, her heart swelling with emotion. These people love her. They’re happy for her even though she can’t really tell them the entire truth. And she doesn’t think she could love them more.

Camila pats her knee comfortingly with that radiant smile of hers.

And everything feels so perfect.

 

Tuesday

“I missed you yesterday,” Ava whispers as the professor drones on at the front of the class. She honestly wasn’t expecting a response from the ever so studious Beatrice. But perhaps she underestimates how much control Ava has over her.

“We were together on Sunday, Ava,” Beatrice whispers in return, not even looking in Ava’s direction as she squints at the chalkboard.

“That was so long ago,” Ava halfway whines, her bottom lip poking out even though Beatrice still stares forward.

“We video chatted last night,” Beatrice points out again before scribbling something in her notebook. With midterms around the corner, Ava should definitely be paying attention to the lecture. However, bothering Beatrice is a much more satisfying task.

“What? I can’t miss my girlfriend after not seeing her in person for a whole day?” Ava responds. She watches a smile pull up at the corner of Beatrice’s mouth.

“Well, I didn't say that, did I?” Beatrice says, finally turning to look at Ava, whose pout has also turned into a soft smile. 

They’re definitely too close for anyone to think they’re just lab partners. It, once again, takes everything in her power not to kiss Beatrice. Ava’s eyes flash down to Beatrice’s lips as her tongue darts out to wet her own.

Beatrice swallows, apparently just as affected by this pull that exists between them. But, she blinks and shakes her head softly. “Pay attention, Silva,” Beatrice says with a wink, tapping the eraser of her pencil against Ava’s notebook before facing the front of the room again.

Ava can’t seem to focus for the rest of the class.

-

“So where are you off to now?” Ava asks as they exit the lab, her hands folded behind her back innocently.

“I have a class that starts at 4:00 and ends at 5,” Beatrice responds, glancing at her watch. 3:15.

“That’s perfect!” Ava says excitedly, bouncing on her feet a little bit.

Beatrice narrows her eyes at Ava skeptically but a smile is still settled on her lips, “What are you scheming over there?”

“Scheming?” Ava exclaims with an exaggerated gasp, placing one of her hands on her chest dramatically, “Beatrice Young, you wound me!”

Beatrice laughs, full on laughs, and it is climbing on the list of the most amazing things Ava has ever heard. Ava laughs as well and leans to the side to bump shoulders with Beatrice once.

“What I'm planning ,” Ava emphasizes with a roll of her eyes, “is that I’ll walk you to class now, go do some super secret stuff that you can’t know about, and then pick you up right after class.”

“Hmm, sounds intriguing,” Beatrice responds with a nod and a serious look on her face.

God, she’s so fucking cute.

Beatrice continues, “Do I get to know what happens after you pick me up?”

Ava shakes her head, “Nope, nuh-uh, that's the other super secret part.”

“It feels a little bit like I might be getting kidnapped,” Beatrice says.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Ava responds, pulling Beatrice by her arm to get her to walk faster, “It’s a surprise.”

-

Ava leans on the door of her car outside of the literature building, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her ankles linked loosely.

Everything is prepared as well as it can be.

She doesn’t think she’s ever been more excited for an impromptu date. It’s even better that she gets to surprise Beatrice.

Hopefully she likes it.

Ah, speaking of.

Beatrice walks out of the building along with a few other students. This crowd definitely looks more her style than the business majors Ava usually sees around campus.

Most of them share the same dark academia aesthetic that Beatrice has perfected. She seems to be in a serious conversation with two of her peers, nodding her head at something that one of them says.

Her face is stoic as she talks to them. Ava is suddenly reminded of the first few times she talked to Beatrice. She wonders when the change happened. When Beatrice started looking at her with so much fondness rather than the seriousness she gives to everyone else.

Beatrice’s eyes finally meet hers. Immediately a smile falls onto her lips. And Ava can actually feel her heart melt.

She watches as Beatrice says her polite goodbyes and makes her way towards her.

“Hi,” Ava says with a bright smile.

“Hello,” Beatrice responds as she reaches her, “You look very cute.”

Ava laughs as she pushes off of the car door to stand straight, “I didn’t even change.”

Beatrice tilts her head, “No, but you were just as cute earlier as well, I just didn’t get the chance to tell you then.”

“Hey Casanova, I’m supposed to be the one swooning you,” Ava pretends to scold as she opens the passenger side door. She bows exaggeratingly as she gestures for Beatrice to enter, “Your carriage, my lady.”

Beatrice laughs once more as she rounds the door, “Thank you, kind sir.”

-

“Why can’t you at least tell me where we’re going?” Beatrice asks as she looks out the car window, presumably trying to recognise anything about the area they’re driving through.

It’s gotten darker now, the sun having retreated behind the trees that now hug the road.

“Cause then it wouldn’t be a surprise, Bea,” Ava answers as they round a tight corner.

“We’ve been driving for 45 minutes,” Beatrice says as she settles back into her seat and looks forward, “I’m beginning to think you might be lost.”

“Have you ever heard of having a little faith ?” Ava teases.

Of course Ava knows where she is. She knows these roads like the back of her hand at this point. Even in the dark, with the roads barely lit.

As Ava makes another turn, the road beneath them turns from pavement to something closer to gravel. The tree line gets thicker.

“Ava…” Beatrice trails off worriedly, gripping onto her arm rest.

“Trust me, Beatrice,” Ava coos, moving her hand to squeeze Beatrice's thigh once before landing back on the wheel.

Beatrice barely loses any tension until they finally reach their destination.

An archway in the treeline opens up to reveal a clearing, and in it, a pond almost large enough to be considered a lake.

Ava hears Beatrice breath hitch as she slows to a full stop and parks the car. The headlights reflect off the water along with the rising moon.

Ava watches Beatrice take a few breaths, her chest rising and falling almost dramatically.

“What do you think?” Ava says quietly, not wanting to break whatever feeling is running through Beatrice.

The other girl turns her head and Ava watches her eyes dart across her face. Her own eyes do the same.

“It’s beautiful, Ava,” Beatrice whispers, leaning forward to give Ava a sweet kiss, “Beautiful.” Another kiss.

“Well, there’s more where that came from,” Ava whispers in return. She places one more small kiss on Beatrice’s lips, “Don’t move yet, okay?”

Ava opens her door and pops the trunk before rounding the car. She shuffles things around in the trunk for a moment, making sure everything is in place. She grabs the bundle of lilacs from their spot tucked in between a thick blanket and a cooler.

She leaves the trunk open and hides the bouquet behind her back before rushing to Beatrice's door and opening it. Beatrice steps out, covering her eyes while asking, “Am i supposed to keep my eyes closed?”

“No, open em,” Ava answers, holding the flowers out in front of her to show them off.

Beatrice cracks her fingers and blinks a few times to adjust to the darkness. Ava watches as her eyes land on the flowers and soften significantly. Her hands drop to her sides, as if she doesn't know what to do with them.

“You got me flowers?” Beatrice asks softly, her voice almost shaky.

“Well, yeah!” Ava says with a smile, “Do you like them? I never got a chance to ask you what your favorites were but I saw these and they reminded me of you and I thought they fit you the best so I just had to get them and I-”

Ava is cut off by Beatrice's lips pressing against her own. She hums into the kiss, lowering the flowers so that she can be closer to Beatrice.

“I love them, Ava” Beatrice whispers as she breaks the kiss and takes the bouquet gently, as if she’s scared to harm them, “No one has ever gotten me flowers before.”

Ava’s jaw drops open slightly, “What? Really?”

Beatrice nods, still staring at the lilacs in her hands.

“Well, get used to it,” Ava says firmly, “Cause you’ll be getting a lot more of them from now on. And you have to tell me your favorites so I can get you the right ones.”

Beatrice smiles sweetly and brings the flowers up to her nose, “I honestly believe these might be my favorite.”

Ava’s heart swells at the sight. Her smile matches Beatrice’s. They stand in silence for a little too long, until Ava suddenly remembers her plans, “Oh! Right! The fun doesn’t end there.”

Beatrice furrows her brow adorably and it takes everything in Ava’s power to pull herself away from her. She makes her way back to the trunk, picks up the blanket to tuck it under one arm and grabs the cooler with her other.

Beatrice’s eyes widen when Ava returns. She looks between the blanket and the cooler and the flowers.

“A picnic?” Beatrice asks, mostly to herself, “You arranged all of this… for me?”

Ava beams and nods happily, “For you.”

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Wednesday

“How are you feeling about midterms?” Lilith asks as she pushes open the door to their usual coffee shop.

Beatrice sighs, “I think I’ll be alright. I need to do a pretty good amount of studying for the rest of this week but there’s nothing I’m particularly struggling with.”

“Yeah, well,” Lilith starts as they take their places in line, “ someone has been taking up a lot of your time.” Beatrice watches as the corner of Lilith’s mouth pulls up to a small smirk.

Beatrice rolls her eyes and feels her cheeks heat up, “yes, I suppose I’ve been a little more occupied lately.”

“Oh, occupied. Is that what we’re calling it?” Lilith teases with a raise of her eyebrows.

“God, shut up,” Beatrice grumbles, pushing Lilith forward in the line. Lilith laughs in return before she takes her turn to order.

Beatrice follows after. And of course it would be her luck that Lucia is the one taking orders.

“Beatrice!” She greets excitedly with a smile plastered on her face, “It’s been a while since you stopped by. I was worried you’d forgotten about me.” She pouts out her bottom lip a little bit before smiling again.

Has she always been so blatantly flirty? Maybe something about being with Ava has made Beatrice more perceptive to it. Before, she might’ve blushed and ducked her head. But now, she almost wants to cringe.

“Oh, uh, yeah, It’s been a busy few days,” Beatrice responds awkwardly, stumbling over her words. Lilith watches the interaction curiously nearby, one of her eyebrows raises as she looks at them.

“Hey Beatrice, I was wondering,” Lucia starts, and Beatrice immediately has a sinking feeling in her stomach, “When midterms calm down, would you want to grab some dinner with me? My treat.”

Right. That was exactly what Beatrice was worried about.

“Umm well,” Beatrice glances over at Lilith, practically pleading for help. When it’s clear that Lilith won’t be doing anything, she continues, “That sounds nice but I- well-”

Lucia tilts her head as she waits for an answer and Beatrice is instantly reminded of Ava. When Ava does it, Beatrice feels butterflies. But now, she only feels an increasing anxiety.

Lucia must take her stuttering as nervousness rather than apprehension. Because she smiles again and says, “I’m asking you out on a date, if I wasn’t obvious enough.”

“Right, well, actually I-” Beatrice pauses to take a deep breath. You can do this Beatrice, just tell her, “I’m actually dating someone.”

Lucia’s smile drops into a disappointed frown, “Ah, that’s what I was scared of.” She sighs, “Is it that girl you came in with before?”

Beatrice swallows nervously and then nods once. Lucia nods in return, “I could see the chemistry. I was just hoping I would be the first to make a move.”

The smile returns to Lucia’s face, “She’s pretty cute. You two make a good couple.” Beatrice’s shoulders lose their sudden tension. She’s more than relieved that there seems to be no bad blood.

She would hate to have to find a new coffee shop, especially since she’s gotten so attached to this one.

“With that out of the way,” Lucia continues, running her hands down her apron a few times, “What can I get for you today?”

-

“You handled that well,” Lilith muses as they finally find their way to their usual seats.

“No thanks to you,” Beatrice snaps back with a glare before pulling out her laptop from her bag.

Lilith chuckles while she mimics the action, “You have to do things like that on your own. I won’t always be there to ward off the women that come flocking to you.”

“They- No - I mean- They don’t flock ” Beatrice stutters, her anger quickly turning into embarrassment. She blushes as she pulls out one of her textbooks to set it beside her laptop.

“You’re a hot commodity, Bea,” Lilith responds with a shrug, “Ava has her work cut out for her.”

Beatrice groans as she opens her book to the correct page and starts her study session.

 

Thursday  

“Ava, the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get to other things,” Beatrice says with a huff as she swirls one of the test tubes around a few times.

Ava has taken her usual spot sitting on the lab table with her legs dangling off the side. She’s spent most of their time today asking to take a break. For what, Beatrice can only imagine.

“What kind of other things?” Ava asks suggestively, leaning forward so that her elbows rest on her knees. 

“Ava,” Beatrice scolds, her face as serious as she can make it around Ava, “This is the last time we’re in the lab before our presentation. We need to focus.”

Ava pouts out her bottom lip, “Oh, come on, Bea! Can I just have one kiss, please ? I won’t ask again!”

“That seems untrue,” Beatrice says, raising one eyebrow.

“Well…” Ava trails off, kicking her feet a few times, “Fine, i won’t ask for at least 15 minutes.”

Beatrice sighs as she sets the test tube into its tray. “Only because we have to wait for this to react anyway,” she says, holding up a finger to emphasize her point. 

Ava perks up immediately, her signature smile on full force. A smile that fades once Beatrice moves closer to her, situating herself in between Ava’s legs easily.

Ava lets out a small gasp as Beatrice’s hands wrap around her waist, pulling her farther towards the edge of the table so that their bodies are almost touching. Ava’s arms find their spot around Beatrice’s neck.

Beatrice leans forward and places a soft kiss to Ava’s cheek, then her jawline, then right under her ear.

“Bea,” Ava whines as her fingertips graze the hairs at the back of Beatrice’s neck, “Kiss me.”

And who is Beatrice to deny her?

She presses her lips against Ava’s, slotting together perfectly, as they always seem to. Ava is the first to deepen the kiss, running her tongue along Beatrice’s bottom lip. Beatrice’s hands tighten around the back of Ava’s shirt.

Ava lets her tongue dip into Beatrice’s mouth and Beatrice feels her knees weaken.

As much of a front as she puts up, Beatrice is just as affected by Ava. Ava makes her feel things she never has before. She craves Ava more than she’s ever wanted anything in her entire life. And here, right now, as she kisses Ava in their biology lab, she wonders why she took so long to allow herself this.

The hopeless romantic inside of her thinks that she was just waiting around for Ava Silva to show up and wreck every wall she had created. The universe waited until now to allow her to feel like this, because she had to feel it with Ava.

Beatrice breaks apart from Ava’s lips to kiss down the column of her neck. Ava lets out a pleased sigh, threading her fingers through Beatrice’s hair.

When Beatrice’s kisses turn from gentle presses of lips against skin, to scrapes of teeth and tongue, Ava lets out a moan. Beatrice immediately halts her movements, pulling away just as Ava’s hand moves up to slap across her own mouth.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Ava whispers, looking towards the door of the lab nervously.

Beatrice holds an internal battle in her head, her eyes darting from the door to the newly formed hickey on Ava’s neck, to Ava’s lips, back to the door. Ava looks back at her, concern sweeping across her face, “Beatrice?”

Beatrice makes a sound somewhere between a groan and a whimper before she practically lunges forward to kiss Ava again. A significantly softer moan is let out of Ava’s mouth.

Ava breaks the kiss to take in a deep breath. Beatrice takes the opportunity to kiss along Ava’s throat once more, resuming her biting and sucking.

“ Fuck , okay,” Ava says, attempting to lean away from the attention she’s receiving, “Bea, Bea - fuck - Okay, Beatrice.”

Ava tugs on Beatrice’s hair, pulling her away from her neck to look her in the eyes. Both of them are breathing hard, staring at each other.

“What’s wrong?” Beatrice asks in between heavy breaths.

“Nothing! No, no, nothing! That was - really good,” Ava says, instantly easing the panic that was steadily rising in Beatrice’s throat, “It was too good actually.”

The confusion that Beatrice was feeling must show on her features because Ava giggles and places her hands on either side of Beatrice's face. “ Too good meaning, if we keep going I’m gonna want you to fuck me on this lab table, Bea.”

Beatrice’s eyes widen and she feels the tips of her ears get hot, “Don’t - say it like that.”

Ava laughs again as Beatrice’s head drops onto her chest, “Well, at least the samples should be ready now, right?”

“Mhmm,” Beatrice grumbles into Ava’s cleavage.

“Then come on, Genius,” Ava says, pushing Beatrice off of her lightly, “The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get to other things.”

She punctuates her sentence with a wink.

And Beatrice thinks she might combust.

 

Friday

 

Ava : hiiiii bea

 

Beatrice smiles as she picks up her phone from its usual spot on her desk, nestled next to her keyboard.

 

Me : Hello Ava.

 

Ava : wyd :) 

 

Me : Studying at home. What about you?

 

Ava : same!!

Ava : can I go over??

Ava : we can work together <3

 

Me : hmmm I don’t know, Ava.

Me : I really do have to study.

 

Ava : me too! no funny business!!

Ava : i promise!!

Ava : PLEEEEASE Bea

 

Me : Okay Okay. Come over.

 

Ava : YES

Ava : okay!! see you soon <3

 

Me : See you <3

 

Beatrice shakes her head with a small smile before she turns back to her notebook and uncaps one of her highlighters.

-

As Beatrice opens the front door, she is immediately brought into a tight hug. Ava’s arms wrap around her waist. Beatrice's own hands attempt to land on Ava’s back, but are blocked by Ava’s backpack. Beatrice holds tightly anyway.

Ava pulls back and gives Beatrice her bright smile, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Beatrice responds before placing a chaste kiss against Ava’s lips, “Are you ready to study?”

“Mhm!” Ava nods and pulls away from Beatrice completely. She grabs onto the straps of her backpack, “Got everything I need.”

“Okay, good,” Beatrice says with a nod, “I figure we can sit on the couch out here if that’s alright with you.”

Ava nods right before Beatrice continues, “And remember, no funny business.”

“Aye aye captain,” Ava responds with a wink.

“I’m being serious, Ava,” Beatrice responds sternly, “Behave.”

Ava suddenly looks serious as well. She swallows and her eyes drop down to Beatrice’s lips before flicking back up to her eyes. “Um,” She blinks a few times, “Yeah, okay.”

Beatrice is a little taken aback by the sudden emotion in Ava’s eyes. Is that… desire? But wasn’t the whole point of this to suppress those feelings? How was the script flipped so easily? What did she - oh.

An idea suddenly pops into Beatrice’s head. And a smirk falls onto her face.

She leans forward close enough so that their noses are almost touching, “Darling, be good while we study and you’ll be rewarded later, okay?”

Ava opens her mouth as if she wants to say something but the words can’t escape. She closes her mouth and swallows again, before Beatrice leans away with a proud look on her face.

Ava frowns dramatically then and pushes Beatrice away lightly, “That was so mean. Don’t do that to me.”

Beatrice chuckles as she moves towards the couch, “Come on, just a few hours.”

Ava huffs and follows. “Stupid hot Beatrice, god damnit” she murmurs under her breath, as if Beatrice can’t hear.

Beatrice laughs again.

-

Through the next couple of hours, Beatrice puts finishing touches on their lab report and edits her midterm book report. Ava is surprisingly very focused during the entire thing, only making small talk every so often or stretching out to have the tiniest bit of physical contact with Beatrice.

Beatrice figures she’ll let that part slide, mostly because she craves her touch as well.

It’s nice. Calm. Relaxed.

It’s everything she could ever ask for.

Just as Beatrice finishes reviewing her calculus work, Lilith appears from her bedroom. Ava and Beatrice both turn their heads to look at her.

Lilith narrows her eyes, looking at the lack of space between them on the couch. She rubs her temples as she groans, “Listen, just keep it in your pants while you’re on the couch, okay? That’s holy ground.”

“We’re just studying, Lilith,” Beatrice retorts, raising up her notebook to prove her point.

Lilith rolls her eyes, “Yeah, sure.” She passes behind them and places her hand on the back cushion between them. “Holy ground,” Lilith repeats, glaring at Ava as she does.

Ava only smiles back sweetly and Lilith sighs in return.

Beatrice knows that Ava is growing on Lilith. She doesn’t have much to be upset about since Beatrice told her about them dating. She’s mostly only acting cold to her based on principle.

“I’m going out,” Lilith says simply as she makes her way towards the front door.

“Tell Camila I say hi,” Ava responds casually, looking back at her laptop on her lap. Beatrice can see the cheeky smile on her lips.

“You-” Lilith starts before letting out a tense breath, “Shut up.”

As soon as the door slams shut behind her, Ava laughs, “I got her good, huh?”

Beatrice chuckles as she closes her notebook, “That you did. I’m surprised she didn’t argue back.”

“Knowing Camila, she probably told her to be nice to me,” Ava replies with a shrug, “And Cammy has Lilith wrapped around her finger.”

“Hmm, yes well, I can relate to that,” Beatrice admits softly before leaning forward to press a kiss against Ava’s cheek.

Ava giggles and turns towards Beatrice, “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” Beatrice answers, pressing a kiss to her lips this time.

“Care to elaborate?” Ava questions, her head tilting to the side. Briefly, Beatrice thinks of Lucia the other day. How she tilted her head and Beatrice felt nothing. She thinks of how different she feels now, with the surge of unfiltered affection that swells in her chest.

“I think you know what I mean, Ava,” Beatrice answers lowly, eyes locked onto Ava’s lips. 

“Maybe,” Ava responds with a casual shrug before closing her laptop and setting it on the coffee table, “but I wanna hear you say it.”

Beatrice lets out a slow breath before she leans her head to the side to rest on the top of the couch cushion. She sits there for a moment, looking up at Ava’s expectant face.

Finally, she speaks, her voice sounding lower than she had expected or intended, “I would do anything you asked of me, Ava Silva. Anything in the world.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, Ava’s lips are on hers. It isn’t nearly as chaste as any of the other kisses they’ve shared today. It’s full of some sort of aching feeling, close to yearning.

Beatrice half whimpers into the kiss as she grabs onto Ava’s waist, pulling her closer to her on the couch. Ava’s hands land on either side of Beatrice’s face.

Beatrice bites down lightly on Ava’s lip, causing a soft sound to escape from her mouth.

Ava breaks the kiss to murmur, “You said no funny business.”

“I’m finished with my work,” Beatrice responds quickly, a little bit out of breath, “And you’ve been very good.” Her grip tightens on Ava’s side as she speaks. Ava gasps and her hands trail down to grab the collar of Beatrice’ shirt.

“ Bea ,” Ava whines as Beatrice tilts forward to lay hot kisses against her neck. 

“Let’s get out of the holy ground,” Beatrice whispers into her skin, “Then I can reward you for behaving so well.”

“ Fuck ,” Ava breathes, her pupils blown as Beatrice pulls away, “Take me to bed, Bea. Please.”

And once again, who is Beatrice to deny her?

 

Notes:

Thoughts? :D

Chapter 20: The Midterms

Notes:

OKAY HI IM SORRY
ITS BEEN LIKE A MONTH I KNOW

This chapter is like twice as long as usual though so hopefully that makes up for it <3
I think I'm going to commit to every 2 weeks for the next couple chapters (there are only 4 or 5 more!!)

— a v a —

Ava wakes up Saturday morning in Beatrice’s bed. Beatrice is awake already, sitting up reading a book while one of her hands runs softly through Ava’s hair. Ava doesn’t immediately show that she’s awake.

Instead, she watches Beatrice for a moment, taking in every detail of her stunning girlfriend. Watching how her brow creases when she gets to an interesting section. Watching as she bites at the inside of her lip a little bit as she focuses.

Fuck.

Ava has really been falling hard for this girl.

Even watching Beatrice do something as simple as reading a book is making her chest feel tight.

Ava takes in a deep breath and tucks herself deeper into Beatrice’s side, burying her nose into her shirt.

Beatrice’s fingers pause briefly in their movement against Ava’s scalp as she leans forward a bit to look down at her.

“Ava?” Beatrice murmurs quietly, resuming her light scratching, “Are you awake?”

Ava shakes her head slowly, a difficult task to do as her face is pressed against Beatrice. Her arms tighten around Beatrice’s waist.

Beatrice chuckles and sets her book off to the side. She runs her newly free hand down Ava’s back a few times, causing the other girl to let out a satisfied hum. 

“Michael called you,” Beatrice says gently, “I was going to answer but I didn’t want to bring up any questions.”

Ava groans as pulls an arm away from Beatrice and reaches over blindly to grab for her phone on the bedside table. She finds purchase and brings the phone too close to her face to squint at the screen.

Thankfully, Michael had sent a text message. A phone call is not going to happen right now.

“Everything alright?” Beatrice asks as Ava quickly types out a response.

“Yeah,” Ava answers, voice rough with sleep, before throwing her phone to the side and nestling up against Beatrice again, “He wants the band to meet for lunch later. Sounded super cryptic.”

Beatrice hums and runs her hand through Ava’s hair again. Ava practically moans as the feeling of her nails dragging against her skin again.

Beatrice is just so good.

“When do you need to leave?” Beatrice asks as she moves her hand down to draw mindless shapes on Ava’s shoulder.

Ava takes a deep breath and then mumbles, “Probably around noon. I need to go home to shower and put on some different clothes.”

“We should probably get up soon then,” Beatrice attempts to sit up more but Ava tightens her grip, keeping her in place.

“No,” Ava complains, almost whines, “Stay here.” Beatrice breathes out a quiet laugh.

“If you wake up now, we’ll have time to get breakfast,” Beatrice tempts. Ava pulls her head away from Beatrice slightly, one eye cracking open to look up at her.

“Where?” Ava grumbles, not so easily swayed unless for good reason.

Beatrice chuckles again, “You’re very cute in the morning. Clingy and a tad bit grumpy, but cute. Did you know that?”

Beatrice shakes her head with a soft smile ( god. fuck. ) before continuing, “We can go where ever you want, although I know a place that claims the best pancakes in the world. Honestly, I believe they may be telling the truth.”

How is Beatrice so endearing? Who would’ve known she would feel so strongly about some random diner pancakes. Who would’ve known how soft she would be. How gentle she would treat Ava in every regard.

Ava’s hugs back into Beatrice's side tightly. When she speaks, her voice is muffled by cloth, “Fine, pancakes.”

-

Michael is nervous. That much is painfully obvious.

For the past 10 minutes, as the band has been looking over their menus, his leg has been bouncing under the table. His hands can’t sit still, constantly changing positions or tapping idly.

Ava knows her brother well. Whatever it is he needs to talk about must be important.

It feels like an hour goes by before the waiter takes their order.

Finally, Mary is the first one to bring up the elephant in the room, “As much as I enjoy spending time with you guys” (the sarcastic tone is not missed, although everyone knows she actually means it.) “Is there a reason you asked us to meet, Michael?”

Michael exhales deeply, clasping his hands together in front of him and staring down at them. “Yes,” he responds after a moment, a small nod accompanying the word.

Another few moments of silence spread across the table. Ava feels a wave of anxiety creep up her throat. She runs her fingers over her knuckles under the table.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to talk about it,” Michael admits. When he closes his mouth again, Ava watches his jaw clench and unclench. A nervous habit he’s kept since childhood.

“Whatever it is, you can tell us Mikey,” Ava says gently, her brow creasing in concern.

Michael nods again and takes another deep breath before he begins, “This is just hard because I don’t want you all to be upset with me, and I really don’t want to screw you all over. But I figure if I tell you now, there will be enough time…”

When Michael takes too long to continue, Camila asks, “Time for what?”

“To find a new guitarist,” Michael says quietly, back to staring at his hands.

The rest of the band members exchange confused glances.

“Okaaay,” Ava starts awkwardly, “But why? What’s up Michael?”

“I got accepted into the film program I wanted. Two weeks after the semester ends we’re traveling to Spain,” Michael responds, “I’ll be there for the entire summer, getting hands-on filmmaking experience with an independent company.”

Ava smiles brightly, and sees the excitement on her face mirrored in her friends’ (although Mary is more subdued as always). They all know how much Michael has wanted this, how hard he’s been working for this opportunity.

It was practically all he talked about before he became an official piece of the band.

“We can take a break then, or Ava can take over guitar for a bit while you’re gone,” Mary brings up with a shrug, “It’s no big deal Mike, we’ll figure it out.”

“Well that’s another thing,” Michael says, finally looking up from his hands, “I don’t think I really… want to come back to the band.”

The end of his sentence curls up into something like a question. There is a second round of confused, almost hurt looks from the girls at the table.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love you guys,” He says quickly, as if to sooth them, “I just - this band is your dream. I can see you guys taking it so far. And I want that for you more than anything, but I don’t think I’m cut out for it. I want to be a filmmaker, and you guys are fit to be stars. I don’t wanna drag you down.”

“And you can’t drag yourself down either,” Camila says with a soft, understanding smile.

Ava and Mary both nod in agreement. Ava reaches over the table to place one of her hands on top of Michael’s, “Do whatever you need to. We’ll figure it out. We could never be mad at you for doing what you want.”

“Plus, we did kind of force you into it when we booted he-who-shall-not-be-named,” Mary adds with a brief scowl, “We should’ve asked you about it first.”

Michael’s shoulders visibly lose their tension with each of the band members’ additions. He lets out a relieved sigh, “Thank God. I was scared you would all hate me.”

The group laughs before Camila says, “We could never.”

As if on cue, their food is brought out to the table. A comfortable silence falls over them as they all begin to eat.

Eventually Michael speaks up again, “I figured there are still a few months before I leave. We can start promoting auditions now and hold them after finals.”

“Let’s get through midterms first and then we’ll start planning everything,” Ava offers before bringing her fork back up to her mouth.

Mary chuckles and leans back in her chair, “How very responsible of you, Ava. Sounds like someone is rubbing off on you.”

Ava’s ears grow hot but she smiles sweetly in an attempt to hide it, “Well, what can I say? Camila is a great influence.”

Another bout of laughter falls over the group.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

“It’s gonna be fine, Bea,” Ava whispers comfortingly as Beatrice's leg bounces under the lab table, “Everything is perfect.”

It’s finally Thursday and their presentation is next. The project they’ve been working on for almost 2 months. The project that will be a hefty chunk of their final grade. The project that replaces their midterm.

Safe to say, Beatrice is spiraling a little bit.

The pair presenting now has some sort of experiment about growing a pea plant in various conditions. In front of them are clear plastic cups carrying plants in two distantly different age groups. There are clearly a few doing better than the others. The lab report is well presented, but the process itself was difficult to retest with the time given. That will probably dock a few points off of their grades.

Suddenly Beatrice wonders what her own shortcomings were in the curation of their lab report and presentation. What could they have done better? What did they mess up on? 

She swallows nervously and chances a look at Ava. She is greeted with a soft smile and a small nod. Beatrice’s nerves lessen almost immediately.

Ava reaches over and places her hand lightly on Beatrice’s leg, giving a small squeeze before pulling her hand back and facing the front again.

Beatrice feels incredibly lucky all of a sudden. To have this with someone. To be able to look at Ava and feel like nothing could go wrong. Or not so much that, but more like something could go wrong and that wouldn’t matter to either of them.

They would still be together. And they could do anything together.

It’s an incredibly sappy sentiment to have at the moment but she feels it all the same. She takes a deep breath through her nose and out her mouth.

They can do this. Together.

Eventually, the pea plant presentation ends and Professor Vincent makes his way to the front of the room. “Good work you two, next up we have,” the professor glances down at his clipboard, scanning the list of names, “Ava Silva and Beatrice Young.”

Beatrice takes another deep breath before pushing up out of her chair, followed closely by Ava. “We’ve got this,” Ava whispers as a fleeting encouragement. Beatrice appreciates it more than she can comprehend.

A small cart had been set up beforehand for each group, holding the needed materials to show off the experiment. Beatrice brings their assigned one forward and straightens up as Ava finds her way to the podium at the front of the room.

As agreed upon before, Ava will present the information while Beatrice will act out the actual experiment.

-

“Are you sure you don’t want to read this when we get up there?” Ava held up the lab report in front of her as they reviewed it side-by-side on Ava’s couch.

“I’m sure. You’re very good at talking,” Beatrice said with a smirk on her lips.

Ava gasped in offense, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just mean you’re… better with words than I am,” Beatrice resolved with a satisfied nod. Ava rolled her eyes before leaning closer to the other girl, close enough so that she could whisper in her ear.

“You could just say I’m good with my mouth, you know,” Ava murmured and Beatrice could hear the smile accompanying it. She turned her head and immediately pushed her lips against Ava’s.

Then Ava let out one of those sounds she makes and moved her hand down to Beatrice’s waist and let her finger brush against the skin there and-

-

And now is not the time to be thinking about that.

She has a job to do.

Ava looks back at her with that same small smile and nods. Beatrice mirrors the action and prepares herself to go through the motions she’s been practicing for weeks.

The presentation goes flawlessly. Ava doesn’t stutter once, Beatrice’s hands somehow stay steady as she pours different liquids into test tubes and shows off the extracted DNA from the strawberries. Everything goes exactly according to plan.

As they finally get around to the concluding remarks, Beatrice feels a weight lift off her shoulders. Ava beams at her as the classroom claps for them.

“Amazing job,” Professor Vincent comments with a smile before looking down at his clipboard once more to call the next group.

As they find their way back to their seats, Ava grabs into Beatrice’s arm to pull her closer. “See, baby,” Ava coos, “I told you it would be fine.”

A lump forms in Beatrice's throat at the pet name. Butterflies form in her stomach. She feels her cheeks heat up.

Beatrice isn’t sure what has elicited this reaction out of her. Ava has called her “baby” before. But it was only ever in the throes of passion. When Ava was begging her for more, or telling her how pretty she looked, or asking if she liked how-

“Bea?” Ava’s quiet voice pulls Beatrice out of her own thoughts. Only then does she realize that she’s been sitting rigid, hands folded together tightly on the table in front of her.

“Hmm?” Beatrice responds, turning her head and loosening her posture. The next group had just started their presentation. Their report drowning out any other conversation.

“Are you okay?” Ava’s brow furrows in concern, “We did great, you don’t have to worry.”

It takes everything in Beatrice to not lean forward and capture Ava’s lips in a kiss. Ava cares so deeply. She doesn’t want Beatrice to feel anxious. She whispers sweet motivational words in her ear. She smiles at her and comforts her.

Even now, she’s mistaken Beatrice fluster as anxiety.

“You called me baby,” Beatrice whispers back.

Ava’s eyes widen slightly. She probably hadn’t even realized that she said it. It had just slipped out unwarranted. Beatrice somehow finds that even more endearing.

 “Oh…” Ava responds before swallowing nervously, “Was that not- do you not- I’m sorry?”

Beatrice shakes her head and then smiles. Her gaze flickers down to Ava’s mouth before landing at her eyes again.

“Don’t be,” Beatrice says with another shake of her head. After a moment of silence between them, while the next lab partner pair drones on about cell division, Beatrice leans into Ava’s space a little bit more, “If we weren’t in a room full of people I would’ve kissed you just now, darling .”

Beatrice exaggerates the word a little bit, knowing that the endearment riles Ava up. This time, Ava’s eyes are the first to glance down, tracing across Beatrice’s lips with no subtlety.

“What are you doing after class?” Ava whispers, her eyes not leaving Beatrice’s mouth.

A breath of a laugh escapes Beatrice’s nose as she witnesses the sudden shift in Ava’s mood. “I have my Calculus midterm after this, you know that already,” Beatrice answers.

Disappointment floods Ava’s features as she slouches on her stool. “Stupid dumb midterms,” she grumbles as she faces the front again.

-

“Do you honestly have such a one track mind?” Beatrice says with a laugh as Ava pulls her through the parking lot by her arm after class, heading straight towards Ava’s parked car.

Her steps are determined but she glances back at Beatrice and winks.

As soon as they make it into the backseat of the car, Ava’s lips are on hers, moving frantically as if she’d been holding back for hours. And perhaps she has. 

Ava trails down to her neck and her hands fidget with the top buttons of Beatrice’s shirt.

Beatrice tips her head back and lets out a few shaky breaths before she's finally able to speak, “Ava, I have a midterm.”

Ava hums against her neck and it sends a chill down her spine, “In an hour, Bea.” She continues her path of kisses until she’s pressing her lips to Beatrice’s collarbone. “We have an hour, baby,” Ava whispers into her skin, “Please.”

Ava knows. Ava knows that her request will be fulfilled, especially when she adds that “baby”. Ava knows that she has Beatrice eating out of the palm of her hand.

Beatrice groans and threads her fingers through Ava’s hair, a silent surrender. One so easily awarded.

Beatrice can’t find it in her power to be embarrassed when she feels Ava smile against her chest before her hands drift down Beatrice’s body to skillfully undo the button of her pants.

 

— a v a —

Saturday night rolls around way too fast for Ava’s taste. Midterms and studying for said midterms for the past week had practically turned her body into putty. Her mind is in even worse shape.

Still, the show must go on.

Which is why Ava stands backstage at the Cat’s Cradle, leaning out from behind the curtains to scan the growing crowd. She definitely isn’t searching for anyone in particular. Her eyes narrow as she tries to get her vision to focus past the bright stage lights.

But again, not looking for anything in particular, she’s just casually taking everything in and-

“She’s at the bar,” Camila’s voice directly next to her ear startles Ava out of her hunt. She throws her hand onto her heart as she spins to face her best friend.

“Jesus, Cam,” Ava exclaims with an exaggerated breath, “You scared me.”

Camila practically beams as she nods towards the bar, “Just thought I’d help you out. You look like a lost puppy.”

Ava scoffs unconvincingly and crosses her arms in front of her chest, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was being very casual and-”

“Mhm, save it for the others, Ava,” Camila interrupts with a smirk before patting Ava’s shoulder lightly. “We go on in 30 minutes,” She gives Ava’s arm a squeeze before turning to her own devices.

Ava rolls her eyes fondly before she turns back towards the crowd, leaning against one of the supporting beams. She easily finds Beatrice now that she has an idea where to look. Her chest tightens at the sight.

Beatrice is obviously beautiful, even from this far away, with her outfit still slightly too formal for the venue and her hair tied up in its loose bun.

But it isn’t her attire that turns Ava’s stomach into knots. It’s the genuine smile that plays on her lips as Lilith says something to her and the way she tilts her head down slightly when she’s laughing and the way she holds her drink with two hands as if she might drop it if she only uses one.

It’s the way she nods as the pretty bartender leans over the bar and says something to her.

It’s the way she laughs at something the bartender says.

It’s the way she timidly takes a shot glass the bartender slides towards her. And only her.

And the bartender’s hand lingers on the glass so their fingers have to touch for Beatrice to take it.

Oh fuck that.

Ava feels a heat fill her entire body. And not the good kind that she would usually associate with being around Beatrice. This heat is angry and wild.

She feels her jaw clench and her fist ball themselves up at her sides. Her whole body feels tense. She feels like she’s shaking, and maybe she is.

She knows what jealousy feels like. She had felt it a few times at the start of her relationship with JC. She had even felt it when she saw Beatrice on a date with another girl before they were even dating. She’s just never felt it this intensely. She’s never felt it take up her entire nervous system.

And it’s too much.

The final straw is when the bartender winks at Beatrice, blatant with her flirting at this point.

That is what makes Ava push off the pillar she has been leaning on and march directly off stage. Not listening to Camila’s questioning tone that follows her. She pushes through the still forming crowd, weaving around tables and stools, not really caring who or what she bumps into.

She gets close enough to get a better look at the situation. The bartender is still tipped forward as she speaks, giving Beatrice her entire attention. Beatrice, as polite as ever, has her hands folded around her drink as she listens. Lilith is leaning with her back against the bar, acting as if she’s not spying on the conversation.

Lilith is also the first one to see Ava storming towards them. She practically winces, probably due to the sheer intensity of Ava’s gaze, and whispers something in Beatrice’s ear right before the singer reaches them.

Beatrice turns and Ava almost forgets why she is mad in the first place. Beatrice’s smile widens immediately as soon as their gaze meets. Her shoulders lose their tension. Her eyes soften.

“Ava,” she says enthusiastically in place of a greeting, letting one hand loose from her glass to reach out towards her. 

“Hi, Bea,” Ava smiles sweetly at her girlfriend before wrapping her in a hug. She takes this time to stare daggers at the bartender, who only seems a little put off by it.

Alright, she’ll have to up the ante then.

“I missed you, baby” Ava coos before she slides her hand up slightly to grip the hair at the base of Beatrice’s neck as they hug, still staring down the bartender. It’s possessive. A claim.

The bartender rolls her eyes.

Beatrice gasps lightly as her arms tighten around Ava, “I-I missed you too.”

Lilith snorts into her drink and Ava’s attention snaps to her immediately, “Lilith.”

“Ava,” Lilith greets, much less warm than Beatrice had. She lifts her drink in acknowledgement before taking another sip from it. 

Ava unwraps herself only slightly from Beatrice, sliding one arm around her neck so she can practically hang off of her. Beatrice keeps her free hand on Ava’s waist, the other still holding her drink.

The bartender wipes at a spot on the table, feigning indifference about the interruption of her flirting but obviously sticking around them. Ava narrows her eyes at her before planting the sweet smile back onto her face as she locks eyes with a confused Beatrice.

One of Beatrice’s eyebrows cocks up and Ava is, once again, reminded of how hot her girlfriend is. If they were being a little more open about the status of their relationship, Ava would kiss her right now. It would definitely give that bartender something to look at.

But alas, she must submit to sneakier measures.

“Could you put all of her drinks for the night on my tab, please,” Ava leans across Beatrice to speak directly to the bartender as she places a finger on Beatrice’s collarbone. With her boobs on full display, she hopes and prays that Beatrice takes the bait.

She feels more than she sees Beatrice’s eyes wander down to her chest (success!) as she continues, “That’s Ava Silva. Should be under the headliners. Thanks.”

She winks for good measure before turning her attention to Beatrice again. She faintly hears a huff as the bartender gets the hint and walks away finally .

You would think she would have some other patrons to serve somewhere else at the bar.

Lilith speaks up from her spot, “You aren’t going to pay for my drinks too, High Roller?”

“You’re rich, Lilith,” Ava responds with a dismissive wave of her hand, still looking at Beatrice.

Lilith scoffs before countering, “Beatrice has more money than me!”

“Yeah, but we also make-out,” Ava says with a smirk, finally looking over at her girlfriend’s roommate with a shrug, “Sucks to suck.”

A look of disgust passes across Lilith's face and Ava wonders when she’s going to drop the “hating Ava and everything she does” act. She knows Lilith secretly likes her deep deep down.

“I’m going to the bathroom before the show starts,” Lilith comments with a huff as she pushes off the bar and makes her way towards the front of the venue.

“Now that she’s gone,” Ava jokes as she turns back towards Beatrice so that they're facing each other once more. Ava slides her arm down from Beatrice’s neck in favor of linking their pinkies together, “Hi there, Bea -utiful.” She smiles brightly, because of both her proximity to Beatrice and her brilliant pun (which she can’t believe she has never thought of before).

Beatrice shakes her head with a slightly smaller smile, “Hi.” She pauses to adjust their hands and let their fingers slot together, “You’re being awfully touchy tonight.” She raises one of her eyebrows again. Knowingly this time, as if she’s reading Ava like a book.

“What? I just have a really hot girlfriend, what can I say?” She swings their hands a few times before leaning closer, practically pinning Beatrice against the bar, “ Really fucking hot.”

Beatrice glances down at Ava’s lips, then up at the stage briefly, before leaning forward and kissing her sweetly. It’s short, and over much too soon for Ava’s liking, but it’s yet another welcome surprise. She might not be ready to flat out tell the band about them yet, but she isn’t actively trying to hide it.

That openness tugs on Ava’s heartstrings. She was honestly a little bit worried that Beatrice would push her away around her other friends. That she would act as if she meant nothing to her. She was even worried that Beatrice wouldn’t have agreed to come to this show at all, just to not be seen with her.

It was an absurd train of thought. She feels ridiculous for even thinking it in the first place. Especially now as she sees the fond look in Beatrice’s eyes, absolutely dripping in affection.

“So it has nothing to do with that bartender then?” Beatrice asks suddenly, amusement sneaking into her gaze.

Ava’s mouth drops open in surprise before she frowns, practically scowls actually, “You knew she was flirting with you?”

“Well, no,” Beatrice answers with that small smile still gracing her face, “Not until you came in to stake your claim.”

“Yeah well, like I said, you’re hot,” Ava responds, giving Beatrice’s hands a squeeze. Her voice lowers to a whisper as she leans impossibly closer to reach Beatrice's ear. She feels Beatrice’s grip tighten on her fingers as Ava’s breath hits her neck, “I have to show everyone that you’re mine.”

She places another gentle kiss against Beatrice’s neck before murmuring, “You are mine, aren’t you?”

Beatrice nods.

“Hmm?” Ava hums before kissing Beatrice’s skin again moving a little lower down her neck, “What was that?”

“Y-yes,” Beatrice stutters. She swallows before speaking again, “I’m yours.”

“Mmm, I thought so,” Ava places one more kiss before pulling back to look at Beatrice again. Beatrice’s pupils are blown as she looks up and down Ava’s body. She looks like she’d be ready to drag Ava home and into bed right now if she could.

“Ava-”

“Remember that when I’m up there,” Ava releases one of Beatrice’s hands to fiddle with the bottom hem of her shirt. She lets her hand slide under the fabric slightly and brush against Beatrice’s waist, “And remember that if that bartender comes up to you again. Or if anyone does, actually.”

Beatrice nods again.

Ava smiles and leans forward to press her mouth against Beatrice’s, chuckling when Beatrice’s lips chase after her own. Beatrice almost pouts as she pulls back.

“I’ll see you after the show,” Ava says as she pries herself away and winks before disappearing into the crowd. She faintly hears Beatrice’s small, “bye.”

This is gonna be a fun show.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

This is going to be a long show.

That becomes abundantly clear as Ava leads the rest of the band out onto the stage, taking her place at the mic and immediately locking eyes with Beatrice. A small smirk rests at the edge of her lips.

And she’s the most attractive woman Beatrice has ever seen in her entire life.

Ava’s black jeans are ripped with an assortment of holes, exposing the fishnet fabric underneath them. The band tee she’s wearing has the sleeves cut off of it, the opening dipping down low enough past her sports bra to show a bit of skin. Her hair is in her signature half up style, leaving strands out to frame her face.

Three chains dangle from her neck. One being long and a bit thicker than the rest, ending where the swell of her breasts begin. Another being thinner in between the first and last with a tiny hoop linked in the middle. And finally, One more chain closest to Ava’s throat, almost considered a choker. All bright, shining silver.

Those have been a new addition since Ava went backstage, and Beatrice's eyes can’t seem to leave them. That is, until they drag up to Ava’s face.

Ava, who is already staring back at her with a knowing look. Ava, who bites her lip a little before breaking their eye contact to address the crowd loudly. Ava, who meets her eyes again as she leans into the mic to announce their first song.

-

The entire set goes as smoothly as it had the first time Beatrice had watched them perform. The stage is electrified with their collective energy.

Ava looks at her throughout most of the songs, seemingly unwilling to break their eye contact from much longer than a few minutes. 

Finally, the night nears its end.

Out of breath, hair having fallen out of its usual style, Ava grabs onto the mic with both hands and gets out between heavy inhales, “This song… is about sex.”

Beatrice immediately feels heat on her neck as Ava starts singing again, this time with a low, almost erotic voice, eyes locked onto Beatrice.

She can almost hear her say “ This one's for you. ”

 

~ Now Playing : Worship by Ari Abdul ~

 

Worship me

Make you believe

 

Beatrice swallows thickly as Ava’s hand trails down the mic stand. Her eye contact continues to stay steady.

 

I’m what you need

So beg, darlin’, please…

 

Ava tips her head back, lips parted as she takes in a deep breath. Beatrice is entranced. She’s sure her own jaw is dropped open a bit as well, if the pointed side glace from Lilith is any indication.

When Ava brings her head back down to sing again, the movement is abrupt enough that some of her hair falls in front of her face. She doesn’t bother to fix it, continuing to sing in the most sensual voice Beatrice has ever heard. 

 

Baby,

Don’t lie, It’s okay that you crave me

Your eyes on my body, you’re shaking

Get high on me for you’re forsaken

 

Ava keeps one hand on the mic while the other runs through her hair, pushing it back into place before she leans back a little, bringing the mic with her.

Fuck, she’s so hot.

 

Pretty when you say my name like that

Feel your lips trace down my neck

Darlin’, don’t say nothing, just breathe

 

Beatrice follows the instruction, taking in a deep breath as her eyes scan up and down Ava’s body. Ava starts walking with the microphone stand. Slow, calculated movements across the stage.

 

Pretty when you’re looking up like that

Pray but Heaven won’t let you back

Good on your knees

 

God damn.

Beatrice forgets that any one else is even in the same room as them. Everything else fades away and all she can see is Ava in front of her, eyes lidded and heavy, hands gripping tightly to the mic stand, skin sweaty from the hot stage lights and the pure effort she puts on her performance.

Ava smirks at Beatrice as she pulls the microphone off its stand.

 

Worship me

 

Ava drops to her knees at the front of the stage, keeping her head tilted up. The cheering from the crowd swells. Beatrice feels like the wind has been completely knocked out of her.

The bass line is thick, low, almost dirty underneath her voice as she continues.

 

Make you believe

I’m what you need

 

Ava crawls forward on the stage, head tilted slightly as she looks over the crowd and directly at Beatrice. There is a tightening in her stomach. A tug in her chest. A burning desire growing between her legs.

She knows. Beatrice knows that Ava feels the same way she does right now.

That none of these other people matter.

Ava is singing directly to Beatrice.

“You are mine, Aren't you?”

“I’m yours.”

 

So beg, darlin’, please…

 

Fuck…

-

Beatrice waits by the front doors of the bar after the show ends, attempting to look casual as she leans against the wall with her eyes scanning the crowd. She knows that Ava will need to stay around for a bit longer to help pack up all the equipment, but she’s honestly hoping she can figure out some way to whisk Ava away when no one is looking.

At this point, she isn’t below dragging her to a nearby bathroom for them to relieve the insane amount of tension Beatrice is feeling. Her leg bounces anxiously and she’s suddenly reminded of Lilith’s presence next to her.

“You’re actually pathetic,” Lilith teases with a roll of her eyes.

Beatrice glares at her, “says the one who was staring at a certain bass player all night.”

“I’m surprised you noticed anything with that tunnel vision of yours,” Lilith has never been one to back down from a challenge.

“Yes, well,” Beatrice clears her throat and turns her attention back to the crowd, “She’s very attractive.”

Lilith laughs loudly, enough to startle a bar patron walking past. Beatrice sends him an apologetic look as Lilith continues, “I don’t know how anyone might think you two aren't together.”

Beatrice shrugs. She’s found that over the last week she hasn’t really cared if people know or not. After telling Camila and Lilith, it just hasn’t seemed like a big deal.

She figures that ultimately she was just scared in the beginning, of how people would react. Crimson definitely did a number on her with that one.

But it’s so different with Ava. Ava truly cares. Ava would never push her to tell anyone anything. Ava follows Beatrice’s lead. Ava would never hurt her the way Crimson did. That has become more and more obvious.

At the end of the day, Crimson hadn't cared. She had pretended to. But everything she did was for her own benefit. She didn’t truly value Beatrice’s feelings and emotions like Ava did.

That’s why, she thinks, this all feels so good. It is someone actually caring about her.

Which brings up the question : Why can’t they just tell Mary and Michael?

At this point, Beatrice doesn’t exactly see the need. As Lilith said, it’s rather obvious. They aren’t exactly hiding anything. And Ava has already mentioned to them that they’ve been “messing around” or whatever you want to call it.

They’ve probably made their own assumptions.

If Ava asks, Beatrice will oblige immediately about telling them they’re “official”. There is nothing she feels like she wants to hide anymore.

She feels safe. Protected. Lov-

“Hey,” Ava’s voice pulls her out of a suddenly terrifying thought. There she is, standing there innocently with her arms swaying back and forth at her sides and a playful smile on her lips

“Hi,” Beatrice responds, voice suddenly way too breathy. Her eyes trace down Ava’s body blatantly, “You were… amazing.”

Ava’s smile grows before she bites her lip, “You think so?”

Beatrice nods dumbly, and reaches for Ava’s hand, “Do you want to-”

She’s cut off as Camila joins them, linking one of her arms around Ava’s and shooting a not-so-subtle wink to Lilith. “You can’t have her yet,” She directs toward Beatrice with playfully narrowed eyes, “We have a tradition.”

Ava opens her mouth to object but Camila stops her by holding up a hand, “Uh uh, After we get McDonald’s I don’t care what you do. But bros before hoes, you know this.”

Beatrice brow furrows before she looks at Ava with eyes practically pleading. She’s been wound up all night, ever since Ava had claimed her at the bar. She literally cannot wait any longer. But, Ava sighs dejectedly and mouths an “I’m sorry” as Camila pulls her away.

Lilith’s gaze follows them as well, a frown pulling at the corners of her lips.

“I assume you were hoping Camila would go home with you, too,” Beatrice questions as her eyes continue to trail them.

Lilith sighs. And the next words she says are as close to an admission that she has given thus far, “I call dibs on our place.”

-

Beatrice’s leg bounces as she leans against the brick wall outside of Ava and Camila’s apartment. Usually she is pretty patient, but she wants Ava too much to think about anything else. She’s become insatiable.

After watching how Ava moved across the stage. After watching her fall onto her knees and sing directly to her. After watching her get a little bit possessive at the bar. All she wants is to get into bed with Ava as soon as possible.

This McDonald’s tradition might be the end of Beatrice.

She glances at her phone to reread the short thread of texts sent within the last 30 minutes.

 

Me : Ava. Please.

 

Ava : just wait at my place bea

Ava : when im home we can do whatever you want <3

 

Me : But I want you now.

Me : I need you.

 

Ava : i know baby

Ava : i know

 

Me : I want to kiss you.

Me : I want to touch you.

Me : I want you.

Me : So bad.

 

Ava : fuck bea

Ava : i want you too

 

Me : You looked so good up there, Ava.

Me : So beautiful.

Me : So incredibly attractive.

Me : I wanted to pull you off the stage and drag you to the bathroom.

 

Ava : oh fuck

 

Me : I wanted to prove to you that I belong to you.

Me : I wanted to show you.

 

Ava : god beatrice

Ava : i want you to show me

Ava : fuck cam is right next to me

Ava : ill be there SO soon

Ava : i promise

 

Beatrice groans as she shoves her phone back into her pocket, leaning her head back to rest on the wall. She closes her eyes tightly and tries to push away the memory of Ava’s lips against her neck at the bar. Tries to push away the thoughts of worship .

No one has ever made Beatrice want the way that Ava does. All Beatrice can think about is giving Ava everything she has. All he wants to do is worship her. Praise her. She wants to give Ava anything she wants.

Her eyes are only shut for a minute or two before she feels arms wrap around her waist and lips press against her throat. Beatrice sighs in something close to relief and melts into the embrace, closing her own arms around Ava as well.

Ava squeezes once before leaning back. Beatrice fights the movement, holding on to Ava tighter.

Ava giggles and whispers, “I need to unlock the door, Bea.”

Beatrice glances to the door, back to Ava, then back to the door again. She sighs once more and releases her grip on her girlfriend. Ava smiles at her brightly, but Beatrice can see the underlying lust in her eyes. She wonders if the same look is reflected in her own.

It has to be. She can feel it so clearly that it makes the rest of her thoughts cloudy.

As soon as the door is unlocked and pushed open, Beatrice presses her lips to Ava’s. She groans and she pushes them through the doorway, slamming the door shut behind them.

Their movements are rushed and their breathing is heavy as hands immediately trace up and down each other's bodies.

As they continue to make their way towards Ava’s bedroom, Beatrice tugs on the bottom hem of Ava’s shirt. Ava complies easily, lifting her arms and letting Beatrice pull the cloth over her head. Their lips crash together again before the fabric even reaches the ground.

Ava starts undoing the buttons of Beatrice’s shirt. Her skills in taking off Beatrice clothes have been honed, as she practically rips them each apart with practiced ease.

Beatrice lets her tongue run across Ava’s bottom lip as her shirt is shoved off her shoulders. Ava moans into Beatrice's mouth when her hands finally run down Beatrice’s body. Beatrice lets out a breathy moan in return as they reach Ava’s door.

Ava fumbles with the door knob for a second before finally pushing open the door and pulling Beatrice in by the belt loops of her pants.

Beatrice takes control of the situation easily, letting Ava drag her in before spinning them and pinning Ava against the door to shut it. Ava gasps at the contact and Beatrice presses her lips against Ava’s again.

It's frantic. And needy. Almost desperate.

Ava's arms wrap around Beatrice's neck, holding her in place as their kiss deepens. Beatrice slides her leg between Ava’s, met with an obscene gasp. Even through Ava’s jeans, Beatrice can feel the heat of her desire.

Beatrice needs to get her out of these clothes. Now .

Beatrice’s hands grip at Ava’s waist before sliding up to her chest and pulling at her sports bra. A silent request. Or plea. Ava breaks their kiss to nod and helps to pull the bra over her head. They quickly follow the same process with Beatrice’s bra as well.

There is nothing slow about this encounter. They both know exactly what they want. And they need it now.

Beatrice starts placing hot kisses against Ava’s neck, right above the silver chains that dangle there, reveling in the sounds she provokes out of the girl in front of her. She takes her time in traveling down Ava’s chest, lips hitting each chain as she reaches lower and lower.

Finally, she reaches one of Ava’s nipples. She places a kiss against it and sees goosebumps arise on Ava’s skin. She moves to Ava’s other breast, repeating the action gently on the other hardened bud.

She brings her hand up from Ava’s waist to pinch on the opposite nipple. Before trailing her finger down Ava’s stomach lightly.

“Please, Bea,” Ava breathes. The first words spoken since they entered the apartment.

Beatrice doesn’t have to ask to know exactly what her girlfriend wants. She surrounds Ava’s nipple with her mouth, sucking lightly before pressing her tongue against it and licking. Ava moans and tilt her head back against the door.

One of her hands moves from Beatrice’s neck to curl into her hair, pulling her closer to her chest. Beatrice hums in approval and Ava’s hips twitch forward in response. 

While her mouth continues its movements against warm skin, Beatrice makes quick work of the button and zipper of Ava’s jeans. She pulls her own leg away to tug the denim down roughly before letting Ava wiggle the rest of the way out of them, leaving Ava in only those silver chains, her underwear and fishnet tights.

Beatrice gasps at the sight as she breaks from Ava’s chest. Ava groans at the loss and attempts to tug Beatrice towards her again.

But instead of following her instruction, Beatrice falls down to her knees, looking up at Ava with a sort of burning hunger in her eyes. One of Ava’s hands is still tangled in her hair, the other now settled on her shoulder.

“Fuck,” Ava hisses through her teeth as she looks down at her.

Beatrice doesn’t break eye contact as she braces her hands on the back of Ava’s legs and leans forward to kiss Ava’s thigh. Ava shivers but holds steady otherwise.

Beatrice’s lips find their way to Ava’s other thigh, kissing once there.

“I want to worship you, Ava,” She mumbles against skin and nylon, ”Can I?” Her fingers push through the holes of the fishnets to splay across Ava’s legs. Ava takes an unsteady breath but offers no answer. Staring Beatrice down, almost as if in challenge.

“Please, Ava,” Beatrice murmurs. Another kiss. Ava says nothing.

 

“Please.” Another.

 

“Ava.” Another longer, more anguished kiss.

 

“Ava, Please.” Her nails scrape against the back of Ava’s legs.

 

Desperate. Literally pleading on her knees.

 

Begging.

 

“ Please , Darling.”

 

Ava swallows before she finally acquiesces in a breathy sigh, “Yes, Bea.”

Beatrice immediately sets herself into action, pulling down at the fishnet fabric until it pools at Ava’s feet. With her underwear, Beatrice is a little more gentle, tugging them down to Ava’s knees and letting them fall the rest of the way.

Ava kicks both the tights and her underwear off to the side before settling more comfortably against the door. One of her hands braces on the wood near her waist, the other brushes through Beatrice's hair a few times.

Beatrice runs her hands down the sides of Ava’s legs as she looks up and down her now completely naked body. She inhales shakily before she leans forward to kiss Ava’s thigh again, moving higher than she had been before.

“You’re divine, Ava,” She whispers sensually between reverent kisses, “Heavenly.”

Ava gasps as Beatrice’s breath hits wet heat. Her hand tightens its hold on Beatrice's hair.

Gently, carefully, Beatrice kisses once right above where she knows Ava needs her most. Ava twitches beneath her and lets out a frustrated breath.

“Beatrice,” Ava hisses between her teeth, “Stop teasing and just-”

Ava gasps as Beatrice interrupts her complaint to lick once along the length of Ava’s cunt. Some hungry sound rumbles at the back of Beatrice’s throat before she dives in again, pressing her tongue repeatedly against the wetness provided by Ava’s desire.

Ava’s hips push off of the wall in an attempt to push herself closer to Beatrice’s mouth. Beatrice lets her, following the silent order and pushing her tongue farther into Ava. But after a few moments, one of Beatrice's hands trails up and splays across Ava’s abdomen, pushing her just enough to keep her pinned to the door.

Ava’s hand, in response, leaves its spot pressed against the door and instead, latches itself onto Beatrice's hand, squeezing tightly. “Fuck, Beatrice,” Ava pants as Beatrice continues moving her mouth against her, “That’s so good, Bea. Fuck .”

She looks down at Beatrice with lidded, pleasure-filled eyes and Beatrice feels like she could orgasm just by looking at her. Ava’s pussy stifles her moan.

Ava’s hips attempt to buck, but Beatrice continues to hold fast. She moves her mouth up from Ava’s entrance, and instead focuses her attention on Ava’s clit, licking a few times before taking it into her mouth and sucking.

Ava moans louder than before. Her nails dig into the back of Beatrice’s head as her knees buckle. Beatrice squeezes once on Ava’s thigh before she slides her hand around Ava’s legs and runs her fingers along Ava’s cunt below her own chin.

Even though she hasn’t yet asked for permission, Ava cries out, “Yes, your fingers, please.”

Beatrice doesn’t hesitate to push two fingers inside Ava, groaning at the way she feels around her fingers. Ava, on the other hand, lets out a moan and attempts to push herself deeper onto Beatrice's fingers.

“More,” Ava gasps as her hips move erratically, chasing a fast approaching orgasm. Beatrice can feel it around her fingers. Slow heavy pulses. “I’m - fuck - almost there, baby,” Ava’s breathing is heavy and choppy, “More.”

Beatrice speeds up the licks of her tongue against Ava’s clit and pushes in and out of Ava as deep as she can, her pace relentless.

Ava’s breathing becomes more like repetitive gasps as Beatrice feels her abdomen tighten under her hand. She feels her pussy tighten around her fingers. Ava’s nails dig into her scalp. Her other hand tightens around Beatrice's fingers. Her head tilts back and almost slams into the door as she cries out Beatrice’s name in place of a moan.

It’s the most spiritual experience Beatrice has ever witnessed.

Ava’s moans subside to exaggerated breaths as her hands both loosen their grip. Beatrice slowly pulls her fingers out of Ava and wipes her chin with the back of her hand just as Ava looks down at her.

Beatrice, still on her knees beneath her girlfriend. Beatrice, looking up at her as if she is some sort of holy being, because right now it kind of feels like she is. Beatrice, who is wholly at the mercy of the woman in front of her.

Ava smiles down at her as she moves her hand from the back of Beatrice’ head, to hook her fingers underneath her chin. “So pretty,” Ava murmurs, running her thumb across Beatrice’s bottom lip, “Thank you, Bea.”

She tugs lightly at her chin and Beatrice follows easily, climbing up Ava’s body and letting herself be pulled into a kiss. It starts lazy and tired, a break from the intensity of the last few minutes. Slow brushes of lips against lips.

But soon enough, Ava’s tongue finds its way into Beatrice's mouth and they are both back to heavy breathing and touching. One of Ava’s hands travels down Beatrice's stomach until it hits the top hem of her jeans.

Ava breaks the kiss as she pushes Beatrice back, just strong enough to make Beatrice stumble a little. Beatrice furrows her brow in confusion and attempts to meet Ava again, but is nudged back once more. 

“You did so good for me, baby,” Ava starts as she follows Beatrice, taking a slow step forward before nudging her again, towards the bed, Beatrice realizes, “Now let me show you how much I appreciate it.”

Beatrice has to force herself not to groan at the sultry sound of Ava’s voice as she allows herself to be backed up. One last push from Ava has her plopping onto the bed rather ungracefully, barely catching herself with her hands. Ava’s fingers are immediately on the button of Beatrice pants, undoing it quickly before she tugs them down her legs along with her underwear.

Ava settles knees onto the floor before she kisses her thigh, just as Beatrice had done to her before, then whispers, “You’re mine.”

Beatrice feels goosebumps shimmer across her entire body. Fights the moan that threatens to leave her body.

“Say it,” Ava commands quietly as she kisses once more, a little higher than before.

“I’m yours,” Beatrice breathes in return, the words barely able to escape her mouth.

“And I’m yours,” Ava adds as her hand traces up Beatrice’s other leg, “Say it.”

“You’re mine.”

“Good.”

And as Ava’s mouth meets her body again, Beatrice realizes just how much divinity is in sin.

 

Notes:

PowerBottom!Ava + ServiceTop!Bea supremacy, okay?
(Realistically I really do think they're switches but its SO fun when I get to write Ava this way)

anyway, THOUGHTS??

Chapter 21: The Dinner Date

Notes:

Heyyyyyyy

how are you guys? I'm gooood, thanks for asking.

Here's another long chapter to apologize for making you wait again <3

— b e a t r i c e —

 

~ One Month Later ~

 

As soon as Beatrice pulls into her spot in the parking garage she tilts her head back to bump against the headrest of her seat. 

It’s been a particularly long Monday. Ava had insisted on going out the night before to celebrate their two month anniversary. When Beatrice had explained to her that the real date of their two month anniversary would actually be on Friday, when they officially started dating, Ava had frowned a little bit but ultimately agreed.

However, she pointed out that she had already asked Camila to go out with them, and Camila had already asked Lilith. They’d seem like “Party-poopers” if they dropped out. Beatrice rolled her eyes in the fond way that she does around Ava, and folded.

A tired sigh leaves her mouth before Beatrice turns off the car and reaches over to grab the bundle of bags from the passenger seat. Of course, she isn’t upset at Ava for the throbbing headache she’s had all day, having to trudge through her later classes. She’s more mad at herself for letting it get that far. 

She pushes through the dull pain at her temple and leaves her car to start her short trek towards the side door of her building. Like clockwork, a loud meow sounds from a nearby bush before a furry orange and white head pops out.

Beatrice immediately smiles and crouches down, sticking her hand out for the cat, who nudges against it without protest.

“Hi there, Macaroni,” Beatrice coos, scratching at his chin a few times before reaching into one of her bags, “Ready for dinner?” Her headache is all but forgotten.

Mac mews, as if in answer, and it makes Beatrice chuckle as she pulls out a can of cat food. She had started feeding him as soon as she realized the cat would be sticking around for a while, always hovering around the side door when Beatrice would come home.

With her tending, he has transformed from a skinny, dirty street cat, to a… well… well-fed, dirty street cat.

Beatrice reaches behind the bushes to pull out a small plastic bowl, left there for safekeeping between meals. Macaroni presses himself against Beatrice’s leg as she dumps the wet food into the dish.

She places the bowl down and stays close to the ground as Macaroni starts shoveling the food into his mouth, loud purring accompanying the sound of his eating. Beatrice chuckles and pulls out her phone to take a video as he continues to take comically huge bites of the pate.

It’s kind of jarring how much this cat reminds Beatrice of Ava. Full of loud affection, not at all subtle in any of his actions, lover of food. Even the way he seemingly seeks constant attention from Beatrice.

It’s cute. Sweet. It makes Beatrice smile a little bit wider.

Once he’s done, Mac takes the time to diligently lick the bowl clean, ensuring every morsel of the food is gone before he butts against Beatrice’s knee. Beatrice pets down his back a few times before grabbing the (now thoroughly empty) bowl and placing it back in its usual spot.

“See you tomorrow, Macaroni,” Beatrice coos, brushing her hand down his back one more time before she heads to the door of the apartment building.

Usually at this point the cat would swagger off to do God knows what after getting his meal. Maybe he would hang around for a minute and roll over on his back or play with some fallen leaf, but never would he follow.

This time, however, he trails after Beatrice, tail high. He lets out a loud meow as he catches up to her and threads himself through her legs once. Beatrice raises her eyebrows slightly as she looks down at the cat, “Wha- Macaroni? What are you doing?”

He looks up at Beatrice from between her legs and lets out a small sound, something between a meow and a chirp. Beatrice blinks in response, her hand frozen on the door handle.

“You - want to come inside?” Beatrice asks as if he can understand. And somehow, it feels like he can. She feels more than hears the purr against her leg before another small sound leaves his tiny mouth.

Beatrice blinks once more before she taps her keycard against the lock and pulls open the door. Macaroni strides in, as if he knows exactly what he is doing, confidence exuding off of him.

Beatrice follows with a blank expression on her face, mouth parted in some kind of awe. Mac leads the way down the corridor, seemingly not phased as he sends short looks back at Beatrice to ensure that she’s following.

Beatrice stops at the door to the stairs, pausing to watch as the cat stops abruptly and prances back to her with a small chirp of acknowledgement.

Is this really happening right now?

How far will they get before Macaroni runs off, set free into the hallways of the apartment complex? How will he even find his way out if that happens? He can’t open doors so how will he- actually, Beatrice doesn't doubt that this cat could open doors if he really put his mind to it.

Macaroni climbs the stairs easily right next to Beatrice, hopping from step to step as though he has done it a million times.

He follows diligently as Beatrice makes it to her floor, through her hallway, and to her apartment door. The orange and white cat sits and curls his tail over his paws, seeming to wait as Beatrice fumbles with her key card before pressing it against the lock. The door clicks and Beatrice pushes it open.

Macaroni strolls through the doorway, rubbing against Beatrice's leg as he passes. Beatrice starts to follow him in awe just as Lilith opens the door to her bedroom.

“Oh good, you’re home, I-” Lilith cuts herself off abruptly, her gaze finding the cat in the middle of their apartment. She looks from the cat, up to Beatrice, and back down at the cat. Macaroni meows softly in greeting.

Lilith blinks, then shakes her head a few times before crossing her arms over her chest and half glaring at Beatrice, “You haven’t mentioned anything about getting a pet.”

Lilith’s words snap Beatrice out of the cat-induced trance she had been placed in. “He followed me inside,” Beatrice defends, staring down at Macaroni, who is now seated again as he looks between the two roommates.

“Are you keeping it?” Lilith questions, one of her eyebrows raised.

Beatrice hesitates for a moment.

She thinks of how the stress of the day instantly lifted when she leaned down to pet Macaroni today. How her headache is now only a light throbbing at the back of her skull. How her smile grew as she watched him eat.

“Would you be upset at me if I did?” Beatrice asks quietly, looking up at her best friend with an expression that she’s sure is rather pathetic. Despite that, Lilith softens a little bit. Just barely. Beatrice can only tell because of the years and years she’s known her.

Lilith sighs and runs one of her hands through her hair, “No, I wouldn’t be upset.”

Beatrice smiles and Lilith adds, “ but - it’s your responsibility. Don’t expect me to take care of it.”

Beatrice's smile drops into an almost offended frown, “I’m not a child, Lilith.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest like an act of defiance, “I can take care of a cat.”

“Oh yeah?” Lilith contends, “You ever had one before? Do you have everything you need to take care of it?”

Lilith knows for a fact that Beatrice has never had a cat before, much less any pet. Her parents had a fish tank growing up, cared for by someone paid to do so, but that was the extent of her experience with owning an animal.

“Well - I - “ Beatrice stutters, her resolve crumbling just as quick as it was built.

“Thought so,” Lilith retorts with a smug smile, “Do some research, I know it's your favorite. Figure it out.”

Lilith passes by Macaroni with indifference as she strides towards the door, “And while you do that. I’m going to get some Indian food from that place down the road. Want anything?”

Beatrice shakes her head and looks down at the cat, sitting patiently with his tail flicking idly.

The door opens and clicks shut again. And now it's just Beatrice and Macaroni, staring at each other. Brown eyes meeting feline green.

He tilts his head and Beatrice is, once again, reminded of Ava.

She pulls out her phone and opens her text messages.

 

Me : Darling.

Me : When practice is over can you come to my apartment? Please?

 

It takes a few minutes to receive a response. In that time, Beatrice settles on the edge of the couch, debating her next steps. Macaroni follows and nuzzles against her legs before laying across both of her feet and dozing off.

How he is acting so calm about this situation is honestly unknown. Beatrice, for one, is on the verge of freaking out.

Where to start?

He probably needs a bath. He’s absolutely filthy from months on the streets. Don’t cats hate baths? I guess they’ll find out.

She’ll have to get him more food. Something a little more healthy than the cheap cans she was getting when he was just a street cat. 

A litter box, obviously. Litter to go in the litter box.

She should be writing all of this down.

She is opening up her notes app to do exactly that, when her phone buzzes with a notification from Ava.

 

Ava : sure baby! were almost done I think

Ava : whats up? something wrong?

 

Beatrice doesn’t send a text back, instead she taps on the camera icon and snaps a picture of Macaroni curled up on top of her feet, snoozing rather soundly at this point.

 

Ava : asdkfjhdfglwboeub

Ava : WHAT!!?!

Ava : IS THAT MACARONI AND CHEESE??

Ava : IN YOUR APARTMENT????

 

Beatrice chuckles at Ava’s reaction and it makes Macaroni stir a little before he settles his head back on his paws.

 

Me : Is Macaroni and Cheese his full name?

 

Ava : BEA THIS IS SERIOUS

 

Me : It is him. He followed me in.

 

Ava : are you keeping him????

 

Me : I’d like to.

Me : Is that a bad idea?

 

Ava : WHAT NO

Ava : THATS A GREAT IDEA

Ava : OMG

Ava : ill be over in 15!!!!!

Ava : WE NEED TO GO KITTY SHOPPING

 

Me : We’ll be waiting <3

 

-

 

True to her word, Ava shows up 15 minutes later, knocking on the door rather enthusiastically. Macaroni had moved from Beatrice’s feet to a little pile of blankets Beatrice had set up on the floor. At Ava’s knock, he stretches before following Beatrice to the door.

Ava is a little out of breath when Beatrice greets her, but has on her dazzling smile nonetheless, “Hey.”

Beatrice returns the smile and backs up so Ava can enter the apartment, “Hi.”

As soon as Mac realizes who arrived, he meows loudly, running forward to butt his head against Ava’s leg. Ava looks down at him and her smile widens before she looks back up at Beatrice, “I can’t believe he’s actually in here!”

Beatrice takes in a deep but shaky breath, her anxiety finally catching up with her in the presence of her girlfriend. Her safe place.

Of course, Ava catches it immediately, her smile dropping a little bit.

Ava. Beautiful, understanding, kind, sweet, loving Ava, steps forward to immediately place her hand on Beatrice's arm. “Hey,” she squeezes once, “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll go get everything we need tonight. I’ll stay over and we can make sure everything is good, okay?”

She runs her hand up and down Beatrice’s arm a few times and Beatrice melts into the feeling, the tension easing off with each brush of her fingers. “Okay,” Beatrice breathes out.

Macaroni meows again, a cry for the attention from Ava that he so desperately craves. Maybe Beatrice and Macaroni have more similarities than she thought.

“I hear you, I hear you,” Ava says almost teasingly as she releases Beatrice’s arm and leans down to pet him. His purr is loud as she scratches behind his ears. “Now, what do we need to get for you, little guy?” Ava coos in his direction.

“I made a list,” Beatrice responds easily.

“Of course you did,” Ava looks up at her with a playful grin.

 

-

 

Beatrice spent an absurd amount of money at the store buying everything she needed for Macaroni to live in the apartment. She hadn’t realized how much was actually needed for a pet. Especially once they strayed from the bare basics list to get things like toys and cat trees (one for the living room and another for her bedroom, just in case).

So now, she’s sat on the floor of her living room painstakingly twisting on another post of one of the cat towers, the scratching material stinging her fingers. Ava is moving around the apartment doing… everything else really.

Beatrice shoots small glances her way as she sets up the feeding area in the kitchen, finds spaces for cat beds and sets up the little box of toys near one of the book shelves. Ava is achingly adorable as she walks through the rooms with a determined look on her face. Macaroni is mostly content following her around with small meows every so often.

He is decidedly not as content when it’s finally time for a bath. Beatrice has to practically wrestle with him while Ava scrubs his body clean. He runs under the bed after being dried off, presumably needing time to be angry at the world.

Eventually, everything is finished, the to-do list completely ticked off.

Beatrice isn’t sure how much time has passed when she finally lays down on the couch, Ava almost immediately plopping down next to her and curling into her side.

A long sigh escapes Beatrice as she leans over to place a kiss on the crown of Ava’s head. “Thank you,” she whispers into her hair before kissing her head again.

“Of course, Bea,” Ava says quietly as she moves her hand to draw meaningless circles on Beatrice’s stomach. 

They lay there for a while, just breathing each other in after a long day. Quiet words are exchanged back and forth. Light, comforting touches.

After half an hour of brooding, Mac finally rejoins them, ears still flicking with annoyance as he jumps onto the couch. Despite his mood, he climbs across Ava to curl onto Beatrice’s stomach. Beatrice scratches under his chin as Ava’s hand moves to stoke down his back slowly. He purrs into the attention, bath-related anger seemingly forgotten (or at least forgiven).

And Beatrice has never felt more at peace.

 

— a v a —

Friday finally rolls around. Ava has been waiting all week to celebrate her and Beatrice’s actual two month anniversary. And the day has finally come.

It starts off perfectly. Ava wakes up in Beatrice's arms, something that has become a usual for the weekends. Ava is at Beatrice’s apartment more than her own most weeks. Beatrice wakes her up slowly, sweetly, pressing soft kisses against her skin. They are interrupted by a few loud meows from Mac, demanding food immediately.

They laugh together and get up to move around the kitchen in tandem. Ava dumps a scoop of food in Macaroni’s bowl while Beatrice takes out ingredients for breakfast. They make eggs, bacon and toast, a simple staple.

After breakfast they find their way back into bed, cuddling up together with no worries about the outside world. Homework and studying can be for another day. This one is about them.

Today is a big day. Not just because of their anniversary, but because of their plan .

Ava calls it Operation Girlfriend-Gate. Beatrice argues that the title doesn’t make sense but doesn't really make an effort to scold her for it, so Ava counts that as a win.

All that being said, the plan is rather simple. Or it should be, at least.

Step one : Get all of their friends into one place.

Step two : Announce that they’ve been dating for the past two months.

Easy.

Ava is sure that Michael and Mary already know. She wasn’t shy about how she felt about Beatrice before they even started dating. Now she waters it down just to “lower suspicion”. But Beatrice is around more often than not. Whether it’s a text message or walking to classes or going to gigs. They’re constantly around each other or mentioning each other in passing.

So she isn’t expecting surprise really. She’s actually a little nervous that they might get mad at her for not saying it sooner.

But Beatrice wasn’t ready. And Ava would wait however long she needed.

Ava was honestly content with just leaving it as is, not telling them and just letting them think whatever they want about their relationship. However, a few days ago Beatrice had blurted out that she wanted to tell them.

She said that she doesn’t want to feel like she’s hiding anymore. She wants to be able to hold Ava’s hand around them or kiss her after a show without feeling like she's carrying around a secret.

Ava wanted to tell Beatrice then that there isn’t really any secret to be kept. That these people know her like the back of their hands and they can probably tell that she’s smitten. That they aren’t as good at “hiding” as they think they are.

But then Beatrice had kissed her boldly, pressing their lips together with some fiery passion and whispered, “I want to tell everyone that you’re mine.” And then they kissed again. And again.

And that settled that.

So now they have their elaborate two step plan. Starting with getting the gang together at the Cat’s Cradle tonight. Where everything began. Well, at least where the more physical component of their relationship began.

However, the first order of business : Operation Romantic Anniversary Dinner Date. Ava couldn’t really think of a better name for that one.

Everything is going exactly according to plan so far.

Ava had set up the entire night on her own, despite Beatrice’s retorts. Around 4:00 they had gone out for a movie, giving them just enough time to get back to Ava’s apartment to get ready before dinner at 6:30.

“Will you please tell me where we’re going, Ava?” Beatrice practically begs as she adjusts her tie in the standing mirror in Ava’s bedroom. She's sporting a gray button down with the sleeves rolled up, tucked into neat black slacks. Her hair is down, sweeping across her shoulders. She’s wearing a few different rings on her fingers and a silver watch with a black leather band.

Needless to say, she is incredibly hot.

“And spoil the surprise?” Ava muses with a smile, “No way.”

She makes her way towards Beatrice, wrapping her arms around her stomach and settling her chin on her shoulder. Beatrice scans her face through the mirror as she runs her hand up and down Ava’s arm a few times.

“You look so good, Bea,” Ava praises, squeezing her abdomen a little tighter as her own eyes trace Beatrice’s body in the mirror. She can see the blush as it rises up Beatrice's neck.

Then, Beatrice slowly turns in her arms and looks her up and down, taking the outfit Ava has chosen for the night. She looks nothing like how she would on any regular day, trading her usual t-shirt and jeans for a short red dress with a neckline that dips rather low to show off a fair amount of cleavage. Her matching heels make her just as tall as Beatrice.

Beatrice swallows visibly and runs her hands down Ava’s arms once more, “Would it be inappropriate for me to say that I really just want to stay here with you?”

Ava’s smile turns into something a little more sly as she links her fingers together behind Beatrice’s back, “Beatrice Young! What are you insinuating?”

“I’m insinuating,” Beatrice says - no, purrs - before she leans forward to whisper in Ava’s ear, “That all I'm going to be thinking about all night is taking this off of you.”

It’s Ava’s turn to swallow. The words travel straight to her core. Goosebumps rise on her skin.

No, she can’t let that happen. These plans can’t be derailed now. She’s gotten this far without any hold ups.

But Beatrice starts placing gentle kisses against her neck as she pulls Ava’s body flush to hers. One of Beatrice’s hands travels up to her bare back, tracing up her spine. The other grips tighter around her arm.

Beatrice teeth join the mix and the soft moan that leaves Ava’s mouth is what brings her back to reality. She lets out an almost aggravated groan as she pulls away, earning an immediate frown from Beatrice.

“I really really wish we could stay here, Bea,” Ava grabs one of Beatrice’s hands with her own and interlaces their fingers, “but we gotta leave now if we’re gonna make it in time.”

“We could just not go,” Beatrice protests, pulling Ava towards her again, “We can stay here until we need to meet with the others. We have plenty of time.”

Ava hesitates for a second, eyes darting back and forth between Beatrice’s. She’s worked too hard for this to come crashing down now. And as much as she would love to fall into bed with Beatrice and stay there for hours, she actually has a plan .

She squeezes Beatrice’s hand once before she murmurs seriously, “Let me do this for you. Please? I promise we can finish this later. But for right now, let me take my really pretty girlfriend out on a date.”

Beatrice’s frown turns into something much much softer, fading into an indescribable expression. Maybe fondness or appreciation. Maybe affection or awe. Maybe… Love?

The thought makes Ava take in a sharp breath through her nose, unintentionally squeezing Beatrice fingers a little tighter.

It’s too early for that isn't it?

No.

Surely people say it much sooner than 2 months into a relationship.

And Beatrice didn’t even say it, so why is Ava internally freaking out a little bit? It’s just a look in her eyes. It’s not as though she’s actually said anything.

But what would Ava say if she did? Would she say it back? It only takes her half a millisecond to determine that she would.

Ava wonders if she’s ever had that same emotion dance around her own expression.

When they’re cuddled up together on the bed, the only sounds being their soft breaths. Or walking from class to class, fingers tangled together or arms linked. Or sitting next to each other in the lab, trading secret touches just to be able to be close to one another. Or studying in the library, sneaking looks at each other over laptops and book covers. Or laid out on Beatirce’s couch, limbs tangled together until Lilith inevitably finds them and scolds them for tainting the “holy ground”. Or cooking breakfast together, dancing around each other in perfect harmony. Or -

“Ava?” Beatrice looks concerned now as she pulls her out of her own thoughts. Eyebrows scrunched together and eyes darting around Ava’s face.

And Ava is pretty certain she knows this feeling. She knows now that she never really felt it with JC, as much as she wished she could’ve at the time. This is new, and overwhelming, and so so beautiful.

Love .

She loves Beatrice.

She wants to shout it from the rooftops. Tell everyone she can.

She wants to tell Beatrice.

But -

This whole relationship has been going at Beatrice's pace. She doesn’t want to fuck that up. And she knows Beatrice. Ava has a feeling that any intense declarations would scare her off. Probably make her freeze and then flee.

And now is definitely not the time for that. Not if she wants the night to be as perfect as she set it up to be.

So, Ava settles for smiling softly as the slight crease in Beatrice’s brow. She shakes her head and pulls Beatrice towards the door, “Come on, we can’t be late.”

The whole “love” situation will have to be put on hold for a little while longer. For the right moment.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

“Is the blindfold truly necessary?” Beatrice complains as she adjusts the fabric wrapped around her eyes as Ava drives them to their mystery dinner location.

Ava slaps her hand away lightly with a scolding sound, “No peeking! It’s a surprise.”

Beatrice sighs dramatically and leans her head against the car window. Ava chuckles in response and settles a hand onto Beatrice’s thigh. Beatrice doesn’t hesitate to link their fingers together, running her thumb across the back of Ava’s knuckles softly.

As much as Beatrice had wanted to stay wrapped up with each other at Ava’s apartment, there is something so meaningful about this moment. Sure, they’ve gone on dates before. Movies, the arcade, lunches, dinners. But nothing fancy enough to dress up for. Nothing that either of them had put so much thought into.

Already, Beatrice is making plans for their next anniversary. She’ll have to one-up wherever Ava is taking her. Or maybe she’ll figure out something extravagant to do for Ava’s birthday this month.

“We’re almost there. I promise,” Ava interrupts her planning, not that Beatrice could ever mind Ava’s voice playing over her own thoughts.

And true to her word, they slow to a stop a few minutes later. Ava’s hand releases her own to put the car into park. Beatrice hears her take in a deep breath before releasing it tensely. She’s nervous.

“Okay, we’re here,” Ava says quietly, delaying their departure from the car.

“Can I take this off yet?” Beatrice asks, raising her hand towards the blindfold on her face.

“No!” Ava says a little too loudly, grabbing Beatrice’s wrist to stop her. “Sorry,” Ava apologizes as she lets go of her grip and then continues, “No, Not yet. I’m going to lead you in. Okay? I’ll tell you when to take it off.”

Beatrice smiles before giving a small nod, an attempt to calm the nerves that are increasingly obvious in Ava’s words and mannerisms. Ava takes another breath before she opens her car door. A few seconds later, Beatrice’s door opens as well. Ava’s hand finds her own easily.

Beatrice’s first observation is that it’s quiet here. No hustle and bustle of patrons passing by. She can hear distant sounds of cars passing but that is the extent of the noise.

She lets herself be led out of the car and across the pavement, attempting not to stumble through every turn. Ava eventually pauses. Beatrice hears a click before she’s led into some sort of building. It’s even quieter now, the lack of sound could almost be concerning.

“Where are we?” Beatrice whispers, turning her head in the general direction of Ava. Ava chuckles quietly and squeezes her hand, “You’ll see.”

Beatrice is torn between a small huff of annoyance and a giddy laugh as she tries to think of where they might be. What restaurant has a closed off foyer? 

As they come to another stop, Beatrice hears a soft ding before she is pulled into a tiny room. She only knows that because of the tightness of the air around her.

Suddenly, they’re moving up.

An elevator?

What restaurant has an elevator?

Maybe one of the fancier restaurants downtown? But even then, she can’t think of any with multiple stories.

The elevator opens and Beatrice is being pulled again, down what she assumes is another hallway.

“Ava,” Beatrice halfway whines, anticipation and curiosity getting the better of her.

“Just a few more steps Bea,” Ava responds softly. Beatrice can hear the smile on her lips.

Finally, their final stop.

Ava lets go of Beatrice’s hand and turns her by her shoulders before moving away from her completely. There are a few quiet sounds before Ava’s voice breaks through the silence again.

“Okay,” another deep inhale, “you can take it off now.”

Slowly, Beatrice reaches for the blindfold and tugs it free, the loose knot holding it together falling apart easily.

The sight she’s greeted with leaves her halfway breathless.

Ava is holding open the door to Beatrice’s apartment, a nervous smile on her lips. The lights are off but the faint twinkling of small battery-powered tea lights illuminates the entryway. As Beatrice takes a step through the door, she realizes they make a lit path to the dining room table. 

White rose petals litter the kitchen counters. Soft piano notes are playing off of the TV, accompanied by a fake fireplace video, crackling every so often.

Ava trails behind her as she walks deeper into the apartment. She finally reaches the table, set up perfectly with their “nice plates” as Ava calls them, a wine glass each, napkins folded perfectly underneath their silverware. A laminated slip of paper is set on either plate. The plain white vase in the middle of the table holds new fresh flowers, a slightly larger bouquet than the one that donned it before. Beatrice has found that it hasn’t been empty since their first picnic all those weeks ago.

“Ava,” Beatrice breathes, not being able to find words as her eyes pass over the table once more before landing on her breathtaking girlfriend. Ava is shifting back and forth on her feet, her fingers running over the knuckles on the back of her hand. She is worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. 

Beatrice can’t let these nerves overtake her any more. She smiles softly, incredibly enamored as she takes a step forward to grab both of Ava’s hands in her own, prying them apart from each other. She laces their fingers together and squeezes.

“This…” Beatrice trails off as she looks around the apartment before meeting Ava’s eyes again, “Is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. This is amazing.” She pulls Ava’s hands up to her mouth and kisses them one at a time. “You are amazing,” Beatrice amends softly.

With the tea lights reflecting off her eyes, Ava looks even more beautiful, if that is even possible. The smile widens on her face and it feels like Beatrice’s heart is being squeezed. “You like it?” Ava asks quietly.

Beatrice pulls Ava forward, their hands still linked, and kisses her. Soft but still incredibly passionate. Beatrice attempts to put every feeling she’s having into this one kiss.

She feels Ava melt into the touch, most of her worry seeming to fade off as Beatrice’s lips press against her own. Beatrice can’t stop the smile that forms to break them apart.

Ava giggles in response, then frees one of her hands to gesture towards the table, “Let our fine dining experience begin.”

Beatrice laughs and steps forward to pull out her chair. Ava, however, is quicker and slides around Beatrice to pull it out instead, accompanied by a wink. Beatrice glares playfully in return before sitting and letting Ava tuck her chair into the table.

“How did you do all of this?” Beatrice asks as Ava sits across from her, “We’ve been together all day.”

“I had a little bit of help from a certain curly haired friend and her very intimidating guard dog,” Ava responds, her smile never leaving her mouth. Beatrice wishes she could find a way to keep that smile on her face permanently.

“Lilith?” Beatrice questions as Ava’s words catch up to her, “Lilith helped you do this?”

“I’ve told you before, Camila is very convincing,” Ava laughs as she picks up the piece of paper from her plate.

Beatrice takes that as a sign to pick up her own paper. The word “MENU” is printed at the top in bold fancy letters. Under that, two categories, the first being “drinks”.

Water. Coke. Red Wine.

The second category has only two options. Beatrice laughs as she reads.

Cheeseburger with fries. Chicken strips with fries.

Beatrice turns the paper towards Ava, still laughing, “What is this?”

“A menu, Bea,” Ava says with a roll of her eyes, even as she holds back her own laugh, “Duh.”

Beatrice shakes her head as she attempts to school her expression into something a little more contemplative, “Hmm, I think the red wine would pair rather well with the chicken strips. What do you think, darling?”

Ava nods with a serious look on her face before she taps her finger against her chin thoughtfully, “I think I might do the cheeseburger personally.”

“Should we call the waiter over then?” Beatrice asks as she raises an eyebrow at Ava over her menu.

“Uhhh,” Ava thinks for a moment, having obviously not planned for this part of the conversation, “I’ll go get him.”

She gets up from her seat abruptly, almost tripping on the leg of her chair as she turns towards the kitchen. She takes a few steps forward before she turns around and awkwardly shuffles back to the table.

“Can you close your eyes for like 2 minutes, Bea?” Ava leans forward slightly to ask.

With another soft chuckle, Beatrice puts her hands over her eyes, blinding herself for the second time tonight.

A few seconds later she hears the soft clatter of plates, the opening and closing of a refrigerator door, a crinkle of a paper bag. Beatrice can’t hold herself back from parting her fingers slightly to watch as Ava transfers food from paper packaging onto the plates she had taken from the table.

Ava brushes her hands down her dress a few times, nods contently at the arrangement of food, tucks a bottle of wine under her arm and grabs both of the plates to take back to the table. Beatrice closes the gap in her fingers, feigning innocence.

She hears the plates being settled back to the table, gentle glugs of wine being poured and the quiet squeak of Ava’s chair as she scooches back into her spot.

“Wow! That was fast!” Ava says overenthusiastically. Beatrice takes her hands off her face and looks down at the food placed before her. Aesthetically placed chicken strips and a pile of fries arranged next to them. A plastic container of sauce is settled off to the side.

Surprisingly, Beatrice can pinpoint the exact restaurant this came from. Hastings has been a favorite of theirs recently, a common date night dinner spot. 

“I need to give my compliments to the chef,” Beatrice says as she picks up a fry and eats it. She makes sure to swallow before adding, “The presentation is outstanding.”

Ava finally breaks the act and laughs. She kicks out her foot slightly to hit Beatrice’s leg under the table. “Alright, smart-ass. I couldn’t really cook a 5-star meal while I was hanging around with you all day,” Ava says with a roll of her eyes, “And Lilith wouldn’t help with that part so I had to get a little more creative.”

“It’s perfect, Ava,” Beatrice murmurs gently before she places her hand on the table, her palm facing up in offering.

Ava’s hand meets her own immediately, settling into each other naturally. Ava’s fingers trace the lines on Beatrice’s palm as she picks up a few fries and pops them in her mouth. Beatrice follows.

“As much as I love touching you -” Ava starts. Beatrice chokes on her half-way chewed food, which makes Ava laugh, naturally. “Beatrice! Keep your dirty thoughts out of this,” she gets out between laughs with a shake of her head, “As much as i love holding your hand - I kinda need two hands for this bad boy.” She points down at her awaiting cheeseburger.

Beatrice coughs as she pulls her hand away from Ava’s, still recovering from her fry getting stuck in her throat.

When she finally recovers, having to down a good portion of her wine just to soothe her throat, she feels Ava’s foot trace up her leg. She sends a warning glare in Ava’s direction, but is met with an already formed smirk hiding behind Ava’s burger. “I do really enjoy touching you though,” Ava says before she takes a bite. 

“ Ava. ”

 

— a v a —

Operation Romantic Anniversary Dinner Date had gone exceptionally well. After dinner, Beatrice had insisted on cleaning up the dishes, swatting Ava away when she tried to gather up the plates. Ava had sat on the kitchen counter instead, legs swinging as they traded smiles and giggles between each other.

Then they found their way to the couch, all stolen kisses and fleeting touches. They had put on a movie to kill some time as they sipped on their wine. But mostly they were focused on each other.

It’s kind of impressive that they didn’t make their way to the bedroom in between. Ava thinks there was some sort of unspoken agreement that if they fell into bed, they wouldn’t be leaving for the rest of the night. They could both feel the tension steadily brewing.

And now, they’ve finally made it to the Cat’s Cradle.

They find Camila and Lilith easily, sitting close at a table, leaning into each other on their stools and facing away from the entrance. They’ve both dressed for the occasion as well, Lilith in black slacks and an open black button down, Camila in a dark blue summer dress. Mary and Michael had texted that they would be arriving together in a few minutes.

Ava jumps onto Camila’s back as soon as they get close enough. Camila smiles over her shoulder immediately. Lilith, in contrast, leans away with a slightly annoyed look (but Ava knows her well enough now to be able to find the slight fondness that settles there as well).

“Hi guys!” Camila greets happily as Beatrice rounds the table to sit next to Lilith, “How did it go?” She wiggles her eyebrows knowingly.

“Perfectly,” Beatrice answers immediately, sending a small smile to Ava. The conviction in her words makes Ava’s heart feel like it's being tugged. She smiles back and then makes her way to her own seat next to Beatrice.

“Are you truly ready for this?” Lilith asks Beatrice with a serious expression on her face. The soft spot that Lilith holds for her best friend is probably the most endearing thing about her, if Ava is being honest.

Beatrice nods once, full of conviction, “I’m ready.” Then she turns to look at Ava, “We’re ready.” Ava’s smile widens and she nods as well. She’s never felt more ready, actually.

“As long as you’re sure,” Lilith responds just as an easily identifiable voice is heard from the entrance of the bar.

“Yo!” Mary calls out to them as she moves through a few people. The bar is not as packed as it usually is on concert days, but there are still a fair amount of people mulling about. Michael follows behind with quiet apologies as Mary pushes past groups of people to get to their table.

Even Mary has dressed up a little bit, in a similar get-up to Lilith. Michael is wearing a light blue button up and brown slacks.

Mary clasps Lilith’s shoulder as she passes. Unsurprising that they’ve gotten along amazingly over the past couple of weeks. Michael gives each of them his bright smile as he passes to take the seat next to Ava, leaning over to give her a side hug.

“I’m going to need an answer about why we all had to get all fancy today,” Mary says with glare towards Ava while she takes out the stool next to Camila.

Ava looks over at Beatrice in a silent question. Should it really be the first thing they bring up? Should they ease into it? Maybe Ava isn’t as prepared for this as she thought she was.

Beatrice, on the other hand, looks surprisingly settled as she looks over the entire group. “Today is a bit of a celebration,” she announces before her eyes lock with Ava’s. She smiles and gestures towards Mary and Michael.

Ava takes a deep breath and follows Beatrice’s lead, “Yeah, uh - It’s actually uh - umm.” 

Wow, she really was not expecting to struggle this much with this.

Beatrice’s hand finds her knee under the table and squeezes comfortingly. It prompts Ava to take another deep breath before she finds Mary’s eyes specifically.

For some reason, Mary is looking at her as if she knows something. Because of course she does. She already knows this. Both her and Michael. All this is is a confirmation.

With one final breath, Ava takes Beatrice’s hand in her own and settles their now intertwined hands on the table in front of them, “It’s our two month anniversary.”

Mary smiles.

Which was, honestly not exactly what Ava was expecting.

She looks over to Michael, who’s expression matches Mary’s.

Ava’s surprise must show on her face cause Mary says with a chuckle, “Did you think we didn’t know, baby girl?”

Ava shakes her head a little bit, “No I just - I don’t know, I thought you’d be angry.”

Michael laughs, “You’ve been exceptionally happy the past couple weeks. When you were just pining after her you were super moody but one day something switched.” He shrugs before he continues, “We made a group chat to talk about you two, actually.”

“ What ?” Ava questions with a confused look on her face as she looks between Mary and Michael, “Just you two?”

“What? Of course not. Me, Michael and… Camila?” Mary narrows her eyes as she looks towards Camila, who is attempting to shrink away from the table. Michael follows Mary’s gaze, his eyes also settling into a glare.

“You knew ?” Mary halfway growls.

Ah. There is the anger Ava was waiting for.

 

-

 

After Mary had a few choice words with Camila, the rest of the night went rather well. Mary and Michael expressed how happy they were for Ava, both in their own special way. Lilith pretended that she wasn’t hovering around Camila the entire night. Beatrice, with the “secret” now out in the open, had not left Ava’s side, keeping at least one hand touching her at all times.

With the wine settled in, Beatrice had even leaned over and kissed Ava a few times, laughing when the group would react with whoops or sounds of disgust (those were, obviously, from Lilith).

And Ava, honestly, could not wait to get home.

She could not think about anything but her promise to finish what they had started earlier in her own apartment.

Even as she laughed at something Camila said or listened to a story from Michael, all she could think about was Beatrice’s hands on any bare skin she could find. Her back, her leg, her arm.

If Beatrice knew what she was doing, she didn’t show it at all, even when Ava sent her pointed glances. Even when her breath would hitch when Beatrice’s hand would veer too far. Even when Ava would grasp her wrist tightly under the table.

Beatrice would not react, just sending her soft smiles or nodding along to the conversation around them.

It was infuriating.

So now, Ava keeps her eyes on the road as she drives back towards Beatrice’s apartment, her knuckles white as her hands grip the steering wheel.

“Ava? Are you okay?” Beatrice asks from the passenger seat, leaning over to run her hand down Ava’s thigh. It makes Ava swallow thickly. She feels so wound up, she doesn’t know if she can take it. But she definitely doesn't want Beatrice to think that she’s upset.

“Yeah Bea, I just - “ Ava lets out a staggered breath as they reach a red light. She turns to look at Beatrice. She knows her eyes probably show off just how turned on she’s been. She’s sure the lust is prominent, “I just really need to get us home.”

Beatrice’s eyes flick down to Ava’s mouth before looking into her eyes again. Ava watches her pupils dilate as she squeezes Ava’s thigh once and doesn’t let go. “Okay, darling,” Beatrice whispers as she lets her pinky brush against Ava’s skin softly.

The light turns green and Ava hesitates before pushing on the gas a little too hard and sending them lurching forward a bit.

The rest of the drive is silent, anticipation settling over both of them as they get closer and closer to the apartment. Beatrice’s hand doesn't leave Ava’s thigh.

Finally. Finally , they reach the parking garage.

Ava puts the car in park and unbuckles her seatbelt.

Beatrice takes her hand off of Ava to unbuckle her own as well.

A moment. 

They both look at each other.

A breath.

And then Ava pitches forward to practically slam her lips against Beatrice’s.

Beatrice responds immediately, wasting no time to return the kiss. They’ve both been waiting all night for this. One of Beatrice’s hands rises up to pull at Ava’s jaw, urging her forward even more. Ava lets herself be moved, bracing herself with a hand against the middle console.

Their breathing is staggered and hungry as Beatrice’s tongue glides over Ava’s bottom lip. Ava moans before she opens her mouth for Beatrice to explore.

Ava is reminded of the first night as official girlfriends. It was a very similar situation, kissing each other with passion in the front seats of her car. Except, that time, Ava had to stop herself from going any farther. She wanted their first time together to be something special.

This time, however, it’s free rein.

She has Beatrice in her car again, breathing into her mouth, hands grasping out for her. And this time she can do something about it. She will do something about it.

She moans at both the thought of fucking Beatrice right now in this car, and the feeling of Beatrice’s tongue against the roof of her mouth.

Beatrice lets out a small groan in return, and Ava’s mind is made up.

Ava breaks away from Beatrice to scan her face, seeing only lust and want in her eyes, before she climbs into the backseat, probably a little less gracefully than intended.

“What are you - “ Beatrice starts as she turns, before she’s cut off by Ava grabbing her tie, and pulling her forward into another searing kiss. It’s Beatrice's turn to brace herself against the middle console as she gasps into Ava’s mouth.

Ava pulls harder, tugging Beatrice so that she’s forced to start climbing into the back seat with her, their lips still moving against one another frantically.

And now, Ava is reminded of a day before they were even dating. When Ava pulled Beatrice into the backseat of her car between classes. Beatrice had run away then, the situation too overwhelming. She definitely isn’t running now.

She meets Ava in the middle of the seats, her knees pressing into the leather as her hands travel down Ava’s sides.

Ava presses quick needy kisses against Beatrice’s lips as she starts to fumble with the button of Beatrice’s slacks. Beatrice takes that time to loosen her tie, pulling it over her head just as Ava pulls down her zipper.

“Fuck,” Ava whispers as she breaks away to look at Beatrice’s disheveled appearance, “You look so good right now.” 

Beatrice doesn’t respond, she just breathes in deeply a few times, trying to catch her breath as she looks up and down Ava’s body as well. Ava places her hand against Beatrice’s chest, pushing lightly so that Beatrice is leaned back, her head finding purchase on the window.

They adjust to one another, Beatrice moving her legs so that they bracket Ava as she hovers above her. Ava smiles as she leans forward to place a kiss against Beatrice's cheek, probably too soft for the moment.

Her hands start undoing buttons on Beatrice’s shirt as she kisses her neck. And once more a little bit lower. “You’ve looked so good all night,” Ava mumbles against her skin, “I’ve been wanting to do this since we got home from the movies.” She gets to the final button of the shirt, pushing it open and immediately pressing her lips to Beatrice’s chest. 

Beatrice's throat bobs as she tilts her head up, mouth parted. Her hips cant up in an attempt to find any sort of friction. Ava continues between hot kisses against Beatrice’s collarbone, “I’ve been wanting to touch you, to feel you.” Her hands settle on Beatrice's abdomen, scratching lightly before her fingers splay across the skin there.

She leans in to Beatrice’s ear to whisper, “I’ve been wanting to fuck you.”

Ava feels Beatrice shudder as she kisses just under her ear.

“ Please ,” Beatrice breathes, so quietly that Ava can barely hear her.

Slowly, Ava moves one of her hands down, not bothering to take off Beatrice's slacks as her fingers find their way into her underwear. She feels the heat radiating off of Beatrice’s body.

Gently, her fingers find Beatrice’s clit, already wet and waiting.

Beatrice gasps and lifts up her hips slightly as Ava moans, “ fuck , Bea.”

Ava moves her hand lower into Beatrice underwear, finding the desire pooled at Beatrice entrance and pulling some of it back up to the sensitive bundle of nerves. Beatrice shudders again and her hand reaches out to grip onto Ava’s forearm. Whether she is keeping herself steady or making sure Ava’s hand stays in place, Ava doesn’t really know.

She starts making small circles on Beatrice’s clit, smiling when she finds the rhythm that makes her let out a louder moan.

“ Ava ,” Beatrice groans and Ava feels it straight in her core. There is no greater sound than her own name on those beautiful lips.

“Say it again,” Ava commands, speeding up her own movements as she leans forward to kiss Beatrice’s neck again. Her teeth brush against the soft skin there.

Beatrice moans again, her breathing quickening and her hips pushing up into Ava. She moves her mouth but no words come out. She is obviously chasing her fast approaching climax. It seems like Ava wasn’t the only one so tightly wound all night.

“Say it,” Ava repeats, biting down on Beatrice’s neck before soothing it with her tongue.

“ Ava ,” Beatrice cries out as her free hand not gripping onto Ava’s wrist rises to tangle into Ava’s hair, “Ava, Ava - oh god - Ava.”

“Fuck,” Ava whimpers. She feels embarrassingly close to an orgasm of her own without Beatrice even touching her. She has to stop herself from grinding down into Beatrice's lap.

Beatrice’s body goes rigid and Ava keeps up her pace, pulling back from her spot against her neck to watch Beatrice’s face as she reaches release.

Beatrice is so fucking beautiful. With her shirt thrown open and exposing her black sports bra. With her hair spread out over her shoulders and sticking to her skin in some places. With her mouth parted and with small but intense noises coming out of it. With her fingers digging into Ava’s wrist and her other hand now clutching at Ava’s shoulder.

“ Ava !” Beatrice cries out once more as she comes, her entire body tightening. Ava almost feels like she came with her.

Ava huffs as she starts to slow down to let Beatrice come down from her high. Then she slowly, gently, pulls her hand out of Beatrice’s underwear.

Beatrice watches her with lidded eyes, her chest rising and falling dramatically. Ava immediately brings her fingers to her mouth, letting them slide across her tongue before she wraps her lips around them. All the while, keeping steady eye contact with Beatrice.

As she pulls her fingers out, Beatrice groans and wraps her arms around Ava’s waist to pull her into another heated kiss. Passion is reignited immediately. Ava is increasingly aware of how drenched her underwear must be.

“I’m going to get decent,” Beatrice murmurs sensually against her lips between kisses, “And then we’re going to go upstairs,” she kisses Ava’s cheek, “And i’m going to take this dress off of you immediately,” Ava groans as Beatrice’s lips find her jaw, “And I’m going to show you what I’ve been wanting to do all night.” Her tongue drags along Ava’s neck to prove her point.

Holy fuck .

 

Notes:

Thoughts? Theories about next chapters?
We're getting closer to the end of this leg but there is still much to do!!

Chapter 22: The Birthday

Notes:

Hiiiii *smiles sweetly*
sooooo ~ sorry I've been gone for so long
To apologize, this chapter is 14k words and I'm kinda in love with it

Enjoy <3

 

— a v a —

The next few weeks go by in some kind of blur.

 

Week 1 : 

“Bea,” Ava scolds with a frown as she exits the steamy bathroom to find Beatrice staring at her computer screen. Ava rubs her towel against her freshly washed hair as she continues, “It’s really late, you can study some more tomorrow.”

A singular lamp on the desk and the dimmed computer screen are the only sources of light in the room, casting Beatrice’s shadow across several sections of the walls.

“Finals are less than a month away,” Beatrice points out tensely, scribbling a note onto the open notebook off to the side of her desk. Her eyes don’t meet Ava’s. In fact, she doesn't look in Ava’s direction at all. A slight frown finds its way to Ava’s face.

“Well, yeah. But that’s like, three whole weeks,” Ava huffs as she makes her way towards Beatrice, leaning down to wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders and press a kiss against the side of her head, “You’ve been studying non-stop.”

Beatrice only hums in response, looking up at the screen and then back at her notes. She types a few things in some document. She’s fully enraptured in her school work, as she has been since the moment they got back to her apartment. It feels kind of like Ava doesn’t exist to her right now.

Ava deflates a bit, sighs, and unwraps from Beatrice's side, letting her hand trail across Beatrice’s collarbone as she removes herself.

But her wrist is caught by Beatrice’s hand before she gets very far. Ava turns to meet a concerned Beatrice, who gently tugs her back.

“Where are you going?” Beatrice asks, her brow furrowed.

Ava blinks and hesitates for a second. How does she explain how she’s feeling right now without seeming too needy? It’s practically impossible. Beatrice is obviously allowed time to herself. She doesn’t have to dote on Ava 24/7.

It’s just that with finals coming up, Beatrice has become some sort of work obsessed robot. They haven’t properly spent time together since their anniversary date night. And that was already 4 days ago at this point. Which doesn’t sound like much, but they had spent practically every free moment together for the past two months.

Now, Beatrice has become fully engrossed in her studies. It feels kind of like Ava has been put on a temporary backburner. And while she understands finals are important, she can’t help but feel a little bit hurt about it.

And she hates the fact that she compares this situation to JC.

Beatrice is nothing like him. That has been blindingly clear from the beginning. Even this moment now is proving that fact. JC wouldn’t have even noticed if she pulled away. JC would’ve found a way to make this an argument. JC would’ve - 

“Ava?” Beatrice questions lightly, worry still prevalent in her face, “Is something wrong?”

Ava swallows and then whispers almost timidly, “You’re busy, Bea. I don’t wanna bother you.”

Beatrice softens immediately and turns her chair towards Ava. She pulls her closer and brackets her with her own legs before wrapping her arms around Ava’s waist. Ava’s hands settle on Beatrice’s shoulders.

They sit there like that for a few moments, Beatrice looking up at Ava with an incredibly fond look. But tinged with something else. Maybe, regret? Or guilt?

“I’m sorry,” Beatrice murmurs softly, letting her thumbs brush against the skin exposed by Ava’s shirt riding up slightly.

Ava shakes her head and moves one of her hands to scratch at the base of Beatrice’s neck, “You didn’t do anything.”

Beatrice closes her eyes and leans forward to kiss just below Ava’s sternum, letting her lips linger against the cloth of her shirt.

“I’m sorry,” Beatrice repeats as she looks back up at Ava, her apology flooding her gaze, “I get so wrapped up in the coursework and it floods my senses. You’re right, It’s late and I should stop for the night.”

Ava feels like her heart is being squeezed. JC would definitely never act like this. God , she loves this girl. She can’t stop the thought from entering her head as she looks down at Beatrice.

She gives a small, almost shy smile, “It’s okay Bea, I understand. I just don’t want to distract you.”

Beatrice shakes her head, “You could never distract me, Darling.” Ava has to stop herself from swooning at the pet name. It doesn’t matter how much she hears it, she loves it just the same every time.

God .

Beatrice continues, “You’re good for me, actually. Lilith always tells me that I get too in my head about school work. You help.”

If she needed any more comforting, that would’ve sealed the deal. But at this point, any insecurity is long gone. It started fading as soon as Beatrice wrapped herself around her, if she’s being honest.

“Ah, so that’s all I’m around for, huh?” Ava jokes, with a raise of her eyebrow, “To make sure you don’t work too hard?”

Beatrice smiles slyly, pulling Ava closer to her, “amongst other things.”

Ava shakes her head and leans down to press a slow, languid kiss against Beatrice’s lips. The first of many for the night.

 

Week 2 : 

“Are you sure you want me in there, Ava?” Beatrice asks almost bashfully as they shut the doors to Beatrice’s car in Mary’s driveway. The rest of the band is already inside, noted by the line of cars already settled on the pavement.

Ava rounds the car and slips her hand into Beatrice’s easily, tugging her forward gently when she doesn’t move, “Of course, Bea. It’ll be fun!”

To her chagrin, Beatrice’s last class of the day had been canceled. Ava immediately invited her to spend her newly acquired free time watching the band practice. Was it a scheme created by Ava to spend more time with Beatrice and woo her with her impressive performance skills up close and personal? Maybe. But no one else has to know that.

Surprisingly, it didn’t take too much convincing for Beatrice to agree. She hadn’t even had any complaints.

Well, that is, until now.

“I don’t want to be a burden,” Beatrice mumbles, dragging along behind Ava and cutting down their walking speed significantly. She’s obviously nervous. Although, Ava isn’t too sure why.

She’s met the entire band multiple times. Beatrice knew Mary before she even met Ava. Camila and Beatrice have interacted more times than Ava can even count, seeing as their paths cross constantly at either of their apartments (Ava is pretty sure they’re considered friends now). Really Michael is the only one of the group that Beatrice hasn’t spent extensive time with.

“Oh, stop,” Ava rolls her eyes fondly before sending a calming smile over her shoulder, “Before Michael was part of the band, he used to sit and watch us literally every time we practiced. You’ll be fine.”

“Your friends won’t mind me being there?” Beatrice continues to try and find excuses as they finally make it to the front porch.

Ava shakes her head, “They pestered me about inviting you before we even told them we’re dating.”

“Won’t I distract you?”

Ava stops abruptly and turns so that Beatrice almost runs into her. Ava takes Beatrice’s other hand and squeezes, letting their arms swing side to side a few times, “Do you wanna talk about what’s making you feel anxious?” Her eyes search Beatrice’s face.

Beatrice is quiet for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. She lets out a frustrated sound before she speaks, “It’s stupid.”

“Hey,“ Ava furrows her brow and frowns, “Don’t say that.” She uses their conjoined hands to pull her girlfriend closer to her, forcing Beatrice’s hands to wrap around Ava’s back. Beatrice sighs and sets her forehead against Ava’s.

“I don’t know,” Beatrice starts as she pulls her head away from Ava’s, “I guess that I’ve just never really spent time with all of your friends before. Not like this. And not without Lilith.”

Sure she has… Right?

Ava tries to remember a time when Beatrice has interacted with the band for an extended period of time. She can probably count the instances on one hand. And without Lilith? The answer is definitely zero. 

Ava makes a mental note to boost those numbers immediately.

“And this is your thing ,” Beatrice continues before Ava can say anything, “I don’t want you to feel like I’m invading every aspect of your life. You can have things that are just for you.”

“I asked you to come with me, Bea,” Ava disputes, confusion lacing her words.

“Yes, but was that just because you felt obligated because I was free?” Beatrice questions with a shrug.

“Of course not,” Ava responds with a shake of her head, a bit offended that the thought even crossed Beatrice’s mind in the first place, “I asked you to come because I want to spend more time with you. And I want to share this part of my life with you. I want you to be here. I want you with me all the time honestly.” Ava blushes a little bit, which lifts a small smile to the corner of Beatrice's lips, “Which sounds kinda cheesy and maybe a little bit clingy.” Beatrice raises an eyebrow at that comment.

Ava chuckles as she continues, “Okay, fine, it’s definitely clingy. But it’s true. I just wanna be with you.”

“I want to be with you all the time too,” Beatrice reassures quietly, her own blush rising up to her cheeks.

“Good,” Ava smiles and then adds, “and I don’t need to have this ‘thing’ just for me. I want you to be a part of everything, Bea. Okay? Anything and everything.”

Beatrice nods with a small smile, “Okay, anything and everything, Darling.” She leans forward to kiss the tip of Ava’s nose. Ava giggles in response, her heart absolutely swooning at the gentle expression of affection. Then,almost reluctantly, Ava pulls herself out of Beatrice’s arms.

“Alright. With that all settled,” Ava walks forward a few steps to place her hand on the knob of the front door, “You ready to witness the rehearsals of the best band in the history of the entire universe?” She wiggles her eyebrows at Beatrice who lets out a chuckle and shakes her head, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Ava pulls open the front door and leads them down a wide hallway to the door leading to the garage. Said door doesn’t do much to muffle the sounds from the band on the other side. Michael and Camila are taking the time to tune their instruments while Mary is tapping on her cymbals mindlessly. Even their voices travel through as they carry easy conversation.

Ava sends one final small smile back at Beatrice before pushing open the door. 

The sound amplifies as the door swings open, only dying down when Ava clears her throat loudly. The rest of the band turns from their tasks, faces pulled into confusion by Ava’s announcement of her arrival. It’s not like she usually says anything when she shows up, but today is different. 

There is a moment of quiet that makes Beatrice shuffle on her feet, a subtle nervous movement that Ava picks up. Suddenly, Camila makes a sound close to a squeal as she throws her bass onto its stand to rush towards Beatrice.

“Oh-” Beatrice huffs as Camila pulls her into a tight hug, the breath being startled out of her body, “Hello, Camila.” Ava chuckles at the strain in her voice. It shouldn’t be as endearing as she finds it. But Ava has been finding subtle ways to fall harder and harder for Beatrice, so it isn’t too much of a surprise.

“Ava didn’t tell us you’d be here!” Camila says excitedly as she pulls away, a wide smile planted on her face. She is practically bouncing in place. Camila has been asking Ava to invite Beatrice to practice for close to a month

“It was a surprise,” Ava butts in happily, wrapping an arm around Beatrice's shoulders.

“It was also incredibly last minute,” Beatrice points out as her own arm finds its way around Ava’s waist, “Class was canceled.”

The natural way they find each other now is one of the things Ava loves most about her relationship with Beatrice. How Beatrice now reacts to touch without anxiety. No worrying about what others think. No shrinking away from affection.

“Yeah, so I get her all to myself for the rest of the day,” Ava says before she smiles almost suggestively at Beatrice, who leans towards her to kiss the crown of her head. It’s almost out of place for the context, but Ava loves it.

“You sure do, Darling,” Beatrice responds softly. Camila giggles from a few feet away, a notable grin on her face. It seems Beatrice's charm doesn’t only work on Ava.

Mary spins one of her drumsticks in her hand, a sign of her waning patience, “Alright love birds, we actually have a practice to run.”

“Okay mom ,” Ava pulls at Beatrice’s arm, leading her to the wall of the garage where their couches sit empty.

“Should I cheer or something?” Beatrice asks under her breath once the rest of the band is out of direct earshot, and Ava knows that she's only half-joking, “What’s the etiquette?”

Ava pushes down on Beatrice’s shoulders lightly, forcing her onto one of the couches. Beatrice huffs as she drops down, sending an unamused glare up at her girlfriend. Anyone else might be intimidated, but Ava can see the small smile peeking out beneath the frown. “Just relax, baby,” Ava coos lowly before leaning down to place a lingering kiss on her cheek, almost at the corner of Beatrice’s mouth.

Then, she moves so that she can whisper directly into Beatrice’s ear, “ Relax . Just sit here and be good for me.” A wave of something akin to pride passes over her when she hears a stagger in Beatrice’s breath.

Then, with a wink, Ava makes her way towards her microphone. As she reaches the mic, she taps the front of it a few times, smiling when the sound travels through one of the amps on the floor.

“I see we have a beautiful crowd out there tonight,” Ava locks her eyes onto Beatrice as she leans into the microphone. She lets her gaze scan up and down Beatrice’s body as she bites her lip, “A really really beautiful crowd.” Beatrice, in response, shrinks into the couch cushions a little bit, that cute blush rising up to her cheeks.

“Alright,” Mary interrupts gruffly. Ava doesn't have to look over her shoulder to know that the drummer rolls her eyes. “Less flirting and more singing, Silva.”

Ava turns her head to look at Mary, leaning back slightly as she holds herself up with the mic stand. She shrugs with a playful smile on her face, as an idea pops into her head, “She’s kinda hot though.”

The time, Ava has the pleasure of watching Mary’s eyes roll to the back of her head, “Oh my-”

Camila smiles, picking up on the cue immediately and plucking out the starting chords of a song.

 

~ Now Playing : She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer ~

 

Ava bobs her head back and forth for the intro, watching as Camila’s fingers slide across her fretboard for a few bars. As Mary’s drumstick connects to one of her cymbals, Ava’s mouth finds its way back in front of the microphone. 

 

“My girlfriend's bitchin' 'cause I always sleep in

She's always screamin' when she's callin' her friend

She's kinda hot though”

 

Beatrice shakes her head from her spot on the couch, but her mouth is quirked up slightly at the corner. And Ava wants nothing more than to kiss that smile off of her face.

 

“Yeah, she's kinda hot though”

 

Camila leans over Ava's shoulder to reach the microphone, halfway yelling the next line into it.

 

“Just an itty bitty, little bit hot”

 

Ava pushes her roommate back to her spot with a giggle. Camila mouths “What?” as she falls back into place, her features holding a false innocence. Ava rolls her eyes with a smile before she continues.

 

“My shrink is telling me I got crazy dreams

She's also saying I got low self esteem

She's kinda hot though”

 

Beatrice’s jaw drops a little, as if offended, and Ava shrugs in response. 

 

“Yeah, she's kinda hot though”

 

Beatrice plays along, crossing her arms in front of her chest and raising an eyebrow. Ava holds up her hands in surrender.

 

“Just a little bit, a little bit hot”

 

Beatrice rolls her eyes and God, Ava loves her. 

 

“She put me on meds, she won't get out of my head

She's kinda hot though”

 

The sound of drumsticks tapping together enters the room just as Mary yells out : 

 

“One, two, three, go”

 

Ava dances around to the heavy strums of Michael’s guitar, letting her hair fly carelessly around her face. The responding chuckle from Beatrice is so quiet beneath the music that only Ava would be able to notice it. It feels like the sound vibrates through her entire body.

And the smile that accompanies it when Ava’s eyes meet hers… Breathtaking.

Yeah. Ava wants Beatrice around her all the time.

For anything and everything.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Week 3 : 

“Will you tell me where we’re going yet?” Ava pesters from the passenger seat, eyes scanning the roads around them as if trying to map out their destination.

“I told you, It’s a surprise,” Beatrice smiles as she reaches over to squeeze Ava’s thigh once, “You wouldn’t want to ruin your own birthday present, would you?”

All Beatrice had told her beforehand was to wear comfortable clothes that she wouldn’t mind getting dirty. That, of course, spurred on several innuendos from Ava about how “messy” or “filthy” they would be getting tonight. Well, maybe only half-jokes if Beatrice is being honest.

Ava groans as she throws her head back, causing it to thump against the headrest, “Fine, keep your secrets. But I'm expecting you to make it up to me.”

Beatrice chuckles, and attempts to remove her hand from Ava’s thigh, before Ava grabs it and intertwines their fingers, effectively trapping her in place. Beatrice chances a glance at her girlfriend, finding a content look planted on her face.

She’s hoping that look stays there for the rest of the day, maybe even grows happier every so often.

Beatrice has been planning for Ava's birthday for a couple weeks now, determined to one up Ava’s anniversary dinner. She's pretty confident she’s succeeded. At the very least, she’s hopeful.

As they finally pull up to their destination, Beatrice watches Ava take in the space. It’s a small studio with floor to ceiling windows covering the entire front wall, showing off the contents within. Several small circular tables are scattered around the room, each with a stool set up beside them. Various clay bowls, vases, and cups are displayed along the walls.

Ava lights up, turning in her seat with a wide smile and bouncing up and down a little bit, “Pottery?”

Ava had once said that clay was one of the mediums she had never really gotten to work with. As an art major, she had made it one of her life goals to try everything at least once. And she’s tried quite a few. Charcoal, watercolor, pastels, chalk, photogray. The list goes on. But never pottery.

Until today.

Beatrice nods once, her own smile echoing Ava’s, “We’d better get inside, we’ll miss our class.”

Suddenly, Ava tips forward and kisses Beatrice’s cheek once, letting it linger before she starts peppering small kisses across her nose and up to her forehead, leaning further and further into Beatrice’s space. Beatrice wraps her arms around Ava’s back and surprises herself by giggling as the onslaught of kisses continue down to her neck.

“Okay, okay,” She catches her breath and plants her hands on Ava’s waist to push her lightly, “We really do have to go, Ava. We have a reservation.”

Ava lets herself be pushed away and excitedly exits the car. Beatrice follows suit, trailing after her girlfriend dutifully.

It’s only a few minutes later that both of them sit next to each other at separate tables, small mounds of clay settled on the wheels in front of them. Beatrice can’t help but stare at Ava, in her tan pottery apron, eyes sparkling with excitement as she watches the instructor take her own seat.

Ava, as if she can feel Beatrice’s eyes on her, turns her head and smiles at her, soft and so affectionate it almost hurts. Ava scoots her stool slightly so that their arms are able to brush, craving the physical contact. Beatrice can’t say that she wasn’t yearning for it as well.

“Thank you, Bea,” Ava says quietly, reaching out her pinky to graze against Beatrice’s. She opens her mouth as if she wants to say more, but then closes it again.

Beatrice links her own finger through Ava’s and leans forward to kiss her cheek softly before whispering in return, “Happy birthday, Ava.”

Soon enough, class is in session. 

Ava is a natural of course, her hands molding the clay with ease, finding the correct pressure almost instantly. Beatrice, however, has a much harder time.

Her hands fumble and the structure she’s desperately trying to make wobbles helplessly as the wheel spins. She can’t tell if her clay is too wet or not wet enough. She’s pretty sure she got clay on her face somehow.

They’ve started with a cup, which should’ve been easy enough. But while Ava’s is symmetrical and even, a beautiful little cylinder which the instructor compliments as she walks around the room, Beatrice’s is too wide and somehow thick. The top of the cup is uneven and forms small waves around the rim.

She huffs as she attempts to straighten out the top section with her hands, but no matter how flat she lays her hands, it just won’t cooperate.

Suddenly, Beatrice feels a presence behind her. Hands move along her own against the clay, fingers sliding between her own to smooth out the edges.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” Ava murmurs into Beatrice’s ear as she leans into her back, “It’s like Ghost.”

“What?” Beatrice is hardly able to keep her composure as she feels Ava’s breath against her neck.

“You know, Ghost. The movie?” Ava continues. If she knows the effect she’s having on Beatrice at the moment, she doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, she sees Beatrice’s silence as a prompt to keep going, “Patrick Swayze? Demi Moore? Come on Bea, tell me you’ve seen Ghost.”

But Beatrice can’t focus on anything other than Ava guiding her fingers against the clay. Other than Ava’s chest pressed against her back. Other than Ava’s mouth so close to her ear. Other than Ava. Ava .

Ava drags her hands up to Beatrice’s wrists and plants a light kiss into Beatrice’s hair. The movement causes Beatrice’s hands to fumble again. Luckily, it doesn’t make the cup any worse, but it definitely doesn't help her situation. Beatrice groans as she pulls her hands away from the wheel, Ava’s hands being forced away as well.

“I give up,” Beatrice huffs as Ava pulls away slightly, with a small smile still dancing along her features.

“You did really good for your first time, Baby,” Ava encourages lightly. Beatrice narrows her eyes disbelievingly, causing Ava to giggle, “You did!”

“Nothing compared to yours,” Beatrice’s eyes find the perfect little cup Ava has made, sitting proudly on top of her wheel, “You’re a natural.”

“I have practice with other kinds of art. My hands know the general motions,” Ava says with a shrug, although her cheeks grow a little more read at the compliment.

“I guess I’m just not very good with my hands,” Beatrice frowns as she looks down at her palms.

Ava snorts, “I would highly oppose that statement, personally.”

“Wha-” Beatrice’s brow furrows slightly, then raises as the words click in her brain, “ Ava .” She looks around them quickly, scandalized. Luckily none of the other patrons pay them any mind, fully immersed in their own work or leaned towards their own partners.

Ava laughs before she shrugs, “I’m just telling the truth, Bea.”

Beatrice shakes her head, as if Ava’s antics have worn her out. But she feels the smile on her own face. “Go sit at your own wheel,” She chides, pushing lightly at Ava’s arm.

“Ooooo I like it when you get all bossy,” Ava muses as she instead leans forward again to attempt to kiss Beatrice, who turns her face away in defiance.

“ Baby ,” Ava whines with an overexaggerated pout, “Give me a kiss.” She leans in again and meets Beatrice’s cheek instead.

Ava gasps, her mouth dropping open in offense, “Hey! Kiss me now .”

“Who’s the bossy one now?” Beatrice raises one of her eyebrows, a smirk finding its way onto her face.

“Oh, shut up,” Ava says between a laugh before she leans forward one final time. Beatrice lets her kiss her this time, feeling Ava’s sigh as their lips brush against each other. Beatrice finds herself smiling into the kiss, smiling into the moment .

Ava pulls away, eyes sparkling, and Beatrice watches as her smile fades into something serious. Maybe serious isn't the word. Profound? Intense? Either way, she opens her mouth to speak, “Bea… I lo-”

She’s cut off by the instructor calling out a new set of instructions into the studio. Ava visibly winces, deflates and then smiles weakly before leaning forward to place one more kiss on Beatrice's forehead. It’s a set of emotions that immediately confuse Beatrice.

Ava moves to her own seat, letting her arm settle against Beatrice’s as she listens to their new task. But Beatrice’s brain won’t settle enough to pay attention to anything other than her own overthinking.

What was Ava about to say to her? What could’ve been so serious? What could’ve made that chain of reactions occur? Did she have a question? She couldn’t have been wanting to say something like… no.

No, that’s ridiculous.

She traces the profile of Ava’s face with her eyes. The slight furrow of her brow as she takes in new information. The way she chews on the inside of her lip a little bit, a telltale sign of her focus. The way the warm light reflects off of her eyes. Something tightens in Beatrice’s chest.

Oh god.

Ava turns her head and gives her another one of those incredibly affectionate smiles, her eyes soft and caring. loving .

Beatrice returns the smile, pushing down her sudden unexplained panic. That is for some other time. No need for any sudden declarations or conflicting feelings right now.

For now, it’s all about Ava’s birthday.

After the cup, the instructor shows them how to make a small bowl, then a vase. Beatrice doesn’t do much better with these than her first project, but Ava’s pieces are near perfect, and Beatrice cares more about the joy on Ava’s face than her own success.

With instructions to return in another 2 weeks to pick up their dried, glazed and fired pieces, Beatrice and Ava leave the studio, dirtied hands intertwined and swinging in between them.

“That was so fun,” Ava skips towards the car, pulling Beatrice along with her, “Thank you again, Bea.”

Beatrice smiles warmly, “The fun isn’t over yet.”

“It’s not?” Ava’s smile widens as they reach the passenger side of the car.

“We’ve only just begun, Darling,” Beatrice answers as she enters Ava’s space to place a kiss on her forehead. Then, she reaches to the side of Ava’s waist to pop open the car door. Ava moves to the side with a giggle as Beatrice swings open the door and bows politely.

“Oh, thank you my good sir,” Ava jokes before she steps into the car.

The ride to their next destination is quick, winding through familiar streets trading soft looks and humming along to songs that come through Ava’s aux.

Soon enough, the neon lights of the Cruciform Crust are visible through the windshield. Ava bounces in her seat slightly as they pull into the parking lot. “Yes!” She exclaims, with a fist pump, “I’ve been craving pizza.”

“I know, I heard you talking to Camila about it yesterday,” Beatrice puts the car into park and turns her head to say something else, before her words are snuffed out by Ava’s mouth on hers. It’s a bit of an awkward kiss, with Ava not being able to drop her smile. Their teeth bump against each other and Ava giggles.

As Ava pulls away from her, Beatrice returns the giggle, “What was that for?”

Ava shakes her head, eyes still bright and maybe even slightly teary, “You’re just really cute. And you listen. No one’s ever paid that much attention to me and that’s just really cute, I dunno.” She shrugs as though it isn’t a big deal.

Except that it is.

Ava deserves so much more than she’s been given. Beatrice knows that J.C. was a piece of shit to her, but every time she finds out new information of just how little Ava was cared for, it ignites a new hatred for the man.

Beatrice wants to give Ava anything she ever wants. She wants her to be happy and comfortable and she wants her to feel cared for. That’s all she ever wants for her. Fuck J.C. for making her think that she deserves anything less.

Ava’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts, “Are we eating inside or taking it to go?”

“To go,” Beatrice answers quickly.

“You’ve got more plans then?” Ava wiggles her eyebrows and this time it’s Beatrice who leans forward to kiss her lightly. 

“That’s right, Darling.”

10 minutes later, they’re on the road again. Beatrice is sure Ava can follow their path as they leave the parking lot with two personal pizzas settled onto Ava’s lap. They’ve driven this route to Beatrice’s apartment many times in the past three months.

Something lifts in Beatrice’s heart when Ava is the one to lead the way from the parking lot to her apartment. It shouldn’t affect her in the way it does. Ava is at Beatrice’s place more often than she is at her own, of course she would know where to go.

But there is something intimate about having someone so close to you that they know directions by heart. That they don’t have to think as they make their way to your home. That they know where all the silverware is and what shelf you keep your favorite snacks on. That they don’t hesitate with operating the water knobs in your shower.

Beatrice has never had something like this before. Sure, she dated Crimson for a while. But she was nothing like Ava. And she always wanted Beatrice to come to her. They never shared quiet nights snuggled up together on Beatrice’s bed. Or leaned into each other on the couch while Beatrice read. Or sat next to each other on the kitchen counter eating late night bowls of cereal.

And as she follows Ava through the hall to her apartment, she realizes that she’s never felt happier than she has while having Ava around her, integrating into her space and into her life - through anything and everything. And an overwhelming feeling washes over her as Ava stops at her apartment and turns on her heels, smiling wide as she waits for Beatrice to unlock the door.

It’s a feeling that, Beatrice thinks, is a lot like what people mention when they talk about love.

Beatrice takes a steadying breath as she fumbles the keys out of her pocket and unlocks the door. A loud meow greets them as the door swings open and Macaroni is standing perched on the kitchen counter, eagerly lifting his head to await pets.

Beatrice complies, running her hand from his head to his tail as she passes by towards the dining room table. He meows loudly at Ava as she passes with her hands full. “One second, Mac,” She says with a giggle, “My hands are a little f-”

Her words die off as she finally looks out towards the living room.

The couches have been pushed to the far walls, both covered by a thin layer of plastic. The coffee table and side tables have been moved to a different room, nowhere to be found. In the middle of the room, a large cavas drop cloth has been spread out. On top of it, a couple of painting canvases lay stacked on top of each other next to a wooden box filled with various jars of paint.

String lights have been strung across the walls, draping down in curves across the entire living room. The TV is playing the same crackling fireplace as their anniversary dinner less than a month ago. Soft music plays from the speakers, a mix of instrumentalized pop songs. Beatrice picks up the two wine glasses she had set out on the table and turns to hold them out towards Ava, “Wine?”

“Bea,” Ava murmurs softly, affection seeping into her tone as she walks towards Beatrice, setting the pizza boxes on the counter and ignoring the way that Macaroni immediately steps on top of them.

Ava wraps her arms around Beatrice's neck as she reaches her, pulling her down into a kiss. Beatrice hums as her own arms find their way around Ava’s back, with one glass gripped in each hand.

Ava tightens her grip, tugging Beatrice even closer as she deepens the kiss, running her tongue along Beatrice’s bottom lip. Beatrice answers without objection, letting Ava’s tongue trace against her teeth.

A moan exits one of their mouths, but it’s almost impossible to tell from who with the way their lips connect.

Despite her body telling her to keep going, to drag Ava to her bedroom and spend the rest of the night tangled in each other, Beatrice pulls away. Ava follows her, unphased as she slots their lips together again, stepping forwards until Beatrice’s back hits one of the dining chairs.

She grunts as the wood digs into her back and melts when Ava’s lips start to trail down to her neck. She lets out a shaky sigh as teeth brush against her pulse point.

“ Baby ,” Ava coos against her throat, sending goosebumps through Beatrice’s entire body.

“Ava, the paint-” another sigh, “The paintings.”

“We’ll get to them,” Ava responds unconvincingly, her voice low and sultry, before placing her lips against Beatrice’s skin again.

Beatrice pulls herself away once more, with a little more conviction this time. Ava pouts before Beatrice says, “Ava, we both know that if we keep going, those paintings aren’t going to be done and that pizza is going to get cold.”

Ava turns her head towards the counter, as if she’d forgotten the pizzas even existed. Macaroni mews in acknowledgement from his spot curled up on top of the warm boxes.

“I spent a lot of time setting this up for you,” Beatrice says softly to sweeten the deal. As Ava turns back to look at her again, eyes full of some unexplainable emotion, Beatrice continues, “I promise we’ll continue this later. I want to continue this later. But can you let me do this for you?”

Ava sighs dramatically and drops her head onto Beatrice's chest. “Fine, okay,” her words are muffled against fabric when she speaks, “Just cause you’re the most adorable girlfriend in the world.” 

Beatrice hums and kisses the top of Ava’s head, “I think you have me beat on that one, Darling.”

Ava buries her head deeper into Beatrice’s chest with a groan, “ Beaaaa , you can’t say stuff like that if you’re wanting me to not take you to bed right now.”

Beatrice lets out a chuckle before she holds up the wine glasses on either side of them, Ava’s arms still wrapped tightly around her neck, “As I was saying: Wine?”

So they eat, leaned on the counter with their open pizza boxes between them, keeping in each other’s space as much as possible. Every so often they meet in the middle for a small kiss, not being able to keep off of each other for very long.

They take small sips of red wine between, the color staining their lips. Macaroni tries desperately to steal bites of pizza, but is waved away by Beatrice. She pretends to not notice when Ava drops a couple of small pieces of sausage for him to nibble on.

Eventually, the boxes are discarded and they find their way to the covered floor. They sit across from each other, canvases balanced on their laps and paintbrushes poised in their hands.

“I’ll warn you,” Beatrice starts as Ava starts twisting open a few of the paint jars, “I’m going to be very bad at this.”

Ava breathes out a laugh but doesn’t look up from her task, struggling with one of the tighter lids, “I’m sure you’ll do great, Baby.”

“If my earlier attempts at art are any indication, I really won’t,” Beatrice contradicts with a chuckle as she reaches over to take the jar from Ava, opening it rather quickly before handing it back.

Ava huffs indignantly, “I loosened it for you.”

“Mhm,” Beatrice nods with a small smirk on her face. Ava narrows her eyes but can’t push back the smile that raises onto her lips.

“Anyway,” Ava rolls her eyes, “No matter what your painting looks like, I’ll love it. I’m gonna hang it on our wall. Right there.” Ava turns to point to a blank section of the wall in the living room.

Beatrice tries to ignore the fact that she referred to them as “their” walls. She tries to ignore the flutter of her heart. She tries to ignore the sudden desire to call this apartment, or any apartment for that matter, “theirs.”

It’s too soon for all of that. Right?

Once again, she pushes away the staggering thoughts. Those are for some other time. Lilith would probably chide her for bottling up her feelings. But this is familiar. The way they are now is safe. It’s comfortable.

The rest is unknown. The rest is terrifying .

So instead of voicing anything going on in her head, Beatrice smiles softly, “Whatever you say, Ava.”

-

Ava insists on making their paintings a surprise to each other. She keeps her canvas propped up on her legs, letting the paint fall onto her lap as she works diligently. Beatrice attempts to do the same with her own piece, but she struggles with the coordination of holding the frame while painting.

Despite her difficulties, Beatrice is actually pretty proud of how her canvas is turning out. She is definitely better at this than she was at pottery. It's pretty simple though, green rolling hills cut by a small river in front of towering mountains, all encompassed with a classic blue background. She even remembered to leave space for clouds.

Every so often Beatrice puts down her paintbrush to pick up her wine glass and just observe Ava. It should say enough that Beatrice doesn’t even care that paint gets on her glass and covers both of their clothes.

Ava’s forehead is smudged with a thick yellow streak from where she had used the back of her hand to push the hair out of her eyes. Her eyebrows are drawn in concentration, eyes scanning her work as her paintbrush moves smoothly across the canvas. The pale lighting sits warmly on her skin.

She’s beautiful. So alarmingly, catastrophically beautiful. It never fails to catch Beatrice off guard.

Beatrice takes in a deep breath before she pulls her wine glass back up to her lips and takes another sip. This prompts Ava to look up from her painting with only her eyes, her head still tilted towards her canvas. The focused look on her face turns incredibly fond, melting into a soft smile as she looks at her girlfriend.

“What are you looking at?” Ava teases, one of her eyebrows lifting.

Beatrice answers without pause, “You.” She takes another sip of her drink, not breaking eye contact with Ava.

Ava shakes her head lightly, almost disbelievingly, “Shouldn’t you be painting?”

“I’m done,” Beatrice responds with a shrug. It’s not exactly a lie. The only things she would add are mostly unnecessary and might harm her piece more than they would help. But Ava doesn’t need to know that part.

“Oh, are you now?” Ava raises both of her eyebrows, still with her lips quirked up into a smile, “Let’s see it then.”

“We have to show each other at the same time,” Beatrice responds, holding her canvas closer to her, “Wasn’t that one of your rules?”

Ava tsks, “Such a stickler for rules, Bea. Come on, live a little.”

“This rule breaking would only be beneficial to you,” Beatrice responds before pointedly taking a sip of her wine.

“Fine, show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” Ava says with a wink, not letting the innuendo pass her by.

Beatrice narrows her eyes at Ava for a second before she gives in, “Alright. On 3 then.”

Ava nods seriously and shuffles in her spot, pulling herself closer to Beatrice, who sets her glass down next to her.

Beatrice starts the count, adjusting her grip on the frame of her painting with a sudden flood of nerves, “1… 2… 3!”

She spins her canvas, expecting for Ava to do the same. Instead, Ava keeps hers turned towards her as she leans forward to get a closer look at Beatrice painting.

“Hey!” Beatrice objects, pulling her piece back to her and hiding it away from Ava’s gaze, “You cheated!” Ava giggles while she leans forward in an attempt to sneak another look.

Beatrice slides the painting behind her back with a scowl, “No, you don’t get to see it anymore. Not until you show me yours.”

“It’s cute, Baby!” Ava coos as she tilts her head to try to catch another glance, “Just let me see.”

Beatrice pulls away farther and Ava giggles again, chasing after her, “Come on, Bea, just-”

Ava reaches out with one hand to pull on Beatrice’s arm, not noticing the paint splattered along her palm that is immediately pressed onto Beatrice’s skin. They gasp in unison as they realize what just happened. Ava pulls her hand away slowly to reveal a red and brown handprint proudly showing on Beatrice’s upper arm.

Beatrice's jaw drops as she turns her head slowly to Ava, who wears a similar expression for a few seconds until she breathes out a short laugh.

“You did not ,” Beatrice whispers in astonishment.

“I-” Ava starts before she bursts into a louder laugh, “I didn’t - mean to.” She uses the back of her hand to cover her mouth in an attempt to snuff out her laughter.

Beatrice narrows her eyes before she slowly places her painting face up next to her - “Wait, Bea…” - and dips two of her fingers into a jar of blue paint - “Bea. No.” - The same blue she had used for the sky of her painting - “Let’s talk this out, Baby.” - Beatrice raises up her hand and slowly reaches towards Ava - “Bea!” - Ava blocks her face with her arm, closing her eyes tightly, and Beatrice smears the paint across the newly exposed skin, from her wrist to her elbow.

Ava gasps as she pulls back her arm to survey the damage. Beatrice leans back and crosses her arms in front of her chest proudly, with a smug look on her face. In her revelry, she doesn’t even realize that Ava has also placed down her painting.

“Oh, I’m gonna get you for that,” Ava says as she dips her own fingers into the green paint. Beatrice doesn’t have time to react before Ava’s fingers are running down her cheek, leaving two long green streaks in their wake.

Beatrice doesn't waste time in collecting some of the yellow paint and returning the favor, adding it to the paint already smudged on Ava’s face. Ava giggles, not even attempting to stop her as the color drips down her cheek, instead she dips her own hand in more red paint.

And the battle begins. Paint is traded back and forth a few times. Purple and orange and pink as they tussle with each other, laughter overpowering the sound of the music.

Eventually, Ava tips too far forward and sends herself tumbling into Beatrice, knocking her onto her back, both of them in a fit of out of breath giggles. Ava adjusts to bracket Beatrice’s waist with her legs, hands in front of her in surrender.

“Okay, truce,” She suggests with a bright smile. Beatrice nods in return, although her paint splattered hands land on either side of Ava’s mostly exposed thighs, surely leaving blue and yellow handprints. But Ava doesn’t chide her, instead she just looks down at her and her smile fades again, similar to how it did at the pottery studio.

That intense, pensive look is back on her face. She sits there in silence for a few seconds, her eyes tracing Beatrice’s face. Finally, Ava leans forward to plant one of her hands next to Beatrice’s head, and the other she places slowly against Beatrice’s neck, planting her own handprint there on her skin before pulling her hand away.

Beatrice exhales shakily at the feeling as Ava’s eyes travel from Beatrice’s neck to her gaze. Beatrice loves when Ava’s eyes get like that, dark with lust and want. She wonders if her own eyes look the same, pupils blown and needy.

“You’re so beautiful, Bea,” Ava whispers as she leans down to kiss the opposite side of Beatrice’s neck. Beatrice’s grip tightens on Ava’s thighs.

There is no stopping this now. The pizza is eaten. The paintings are (mostly) done. All that’s left is this. Is them .

Ava’s breath hits Beatrice’s ear, “Can I take this off?” She pulls at the bottom of her shirt with the hand that had previously been pressed against her neck.

Beatrice nods and, because she knows Ava likes it when she voices what she wants, she adds, “Please, Ava… I need you.”

Ava takes in deep breath as she sits up and tugs at the shirt, helping Beatrice get it over her arms before she tosses it off to the side.

She settles against Beatrice’s waist again, moving slowly and meticulously. She presses her hand against Beatrice's stomach, lips parting as she sees another of her own handprints against her skin. 

“ God , Bea,” Ava whispers under her breath. Goosebumps rise on Beatrice’s entire body as Ava says her name. She could hear her say her name for the rest of time and be content with that.

Ava leans down again, slowly and surely, and presses her lips against Beatrice’s. Beatrice hums against her just before Ava’s tongue runs along her bottom lip. She opens her mouth immediately and feels Ava’s tongue dip into her mouth.

Beatrice can taste the wine on her lips, and her kiss is almost as intoxicating.

Without breaking their kiss, Ava reaches down to unbutton Beatrice’s pants with practiced ease while Beatrice’s hands move from Ava’s thighs to start pulling at her shirt. Ava briefly breaks away to let Beatrice pull off her shirt before she is on her again.

As teeth scrape against Beatrice's bottom lip, her need reaches a boiling point. Her hips cant up into Ava’s, making a small gasp escape out of Ava’s mouth.

Clocking Beatrice's sudden desperateness, Ava starts her trek down Beatrice’s body. She kisses down Beatrice’s cheek, her neck, across her collarbone, the top hem of her sports bra, down her stomach. She takes a slightly longer moment around the handprint she had placed on Beatrice’s abdomen. She kisses the prints of her own fingertips and Beatrice swallows thickly as her hands find their way into Ava’s hair, paint already dried on her fingers.

Ava hums against Beatrice's skin in approval and Beatrice feels it shoot straight to her core. She bites down on her own lip to stop the moan that threatens to escape her mouth. It’s insane how quickly Ava makes her come undone.

Ava’s hands pull down at Beatrice’s belt loops, prompting Beatrice to lift her hips to let her slide them off, tossing them to join the rest of their clothes in a growing pile.

Hot breath hits the insides of Beatrice’s thighs as Ava settles her head between her legs. Kisses are placed against heated skin, starting soft and admiring before turning needy and drawn-out. Beatrice shivers as Ava lets her tongue drag across her inner-thigh, and groans when Ava pulls her head away.

“ Ava ,” Beatrice whines, breathless as her hand falls from where they had settled in Ava’s hair. 

“Relax, Baby,” Ava replies lowly, voice tinged in a lustful want, as she tugs off Beatrice’s underwear. She moves slow, taking her time in letting the fabric brush down Beatrice’s legs. Beatrice gasps when the cool air hits her already soaking cunt.

Ava’s mouth quirks up into a small smile briefly as she looks down at her girlfriend, ready and wet for her. She runs her hands down Beatrice’s thighs reverently, breathing deeply. As cherished as this obvious appreciation makes her feel, It’s all taking too long for Beatrice’s preference, and she isn’t above begging.

“Ava, please,” She whispers, tilting her hips up desperately, “ Please .”

Ava’s smile broadens as she leans down again. Her breath brushes against wet heat when she speaks, “Your wish is my command.” If Beatrice was in a better state, she would roll her eyes.

Instead, she moans as Ava’s tongue runs a stripe through her pussy. Ava’s responding whimper, either from the taste or from Beatrice’s reaction, makes her legs twitch.

Ava gives another long, but slow lick, barely touching her clit before dragging back to repeat her actions. Beatrice’s legs go to tighten around Ava’s head, to give her some sort of leverage to push herself against Ava’s tongue. Ava’s hands, however, move to push against either one of Beatrice’s thighs, spreading her out for her.

Beatrice groans and tilts her head back, running the fingers of one of her hands through Ava’s hair and attempting to pull her closer. “More,” Beatrice breathes out, a barely there sound. But Ava hears. She always hears.

Ava dips her tongue into Beatrice's entrance briefly, causing an obscene sound to leave Beatrice’s mouth, before she drags herself up to her clit. Beatrice gasps as Ava’s lips finally wrap around the bundle of nerves.

Ava drops any previous intent to carry this out longer, immediately resolved to make Beatrice come as fast as possible. At least, that’s what Beatrice assumes with the way Ava’s pace changes. She flicks her tongue in all the right ways, she hums against Beatrice and tightens her grip against her thighs.

One of Beatrice’s hands tenses in Ava’s hair as the other one moves to grip Ava’s hand. Ava immediately responds, spreading out her fingers to lace them in between Beatrice’s. The breaking point is when Beatrice's eyes finally meet Ava’s again, staring at her intensely from between her thighs, dark and sultry.

She’s so breathtaking. So unbelievably beautiful. And she is Beatrice’s.

All mine.

“ Ava ,” Beatrice moans as her hips buck up. Ava doesn’t stop. In fact, she doubles down, running her tongue along Beatrice’s clit in tight circles. Beatrice’s hips tilt up again and full body shivers make their way through her.

She forgets to breathe just as Ava’s mouth moves down to lick at Beatrice entrance instead. Her breaths are chopped, exaggerated sounds that barely reach her lungs before they’re pushed out again rapidly.

Finally, Ava pushes her tongue inside of her, and Beatrice comes with a moan. Her fingers grip harder into Ava’s hair and on her hand. Ava continues to let her tongue slip in and out of Beatrice’s entrance, collecting the new wetness as Beatrice shudders in bursts, her orgasm still rocking through her.

When she feels the aftershocks fade off she tugs at Ava’s hair, signaling for her to pull away. Ava follows easily, lifting herself up and licking her lips. She wipes her chin, which had been dripping with moisture, and climbs back up Beatrice’s body, wasting no time in leaning down to kiss her.

Beatrice sighs into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Ava’s back to pull her down on top of her. Ava hums in response, settling herself into Beatrice’s embrace as she deepens the kiss.

Beatrice tastes herself on Ava's tongue as they brush against each other. And all she can think about, as her head clears from some post-orgasmic bliss, is returning the favor.

Ava breaks the kiss and looks between Beatrice’s eyes with a soft smile. “Hi,” she whispers into the small amount of space between them.

Beatrice huffs out a laugh before she responds, “Hello.”

Ava glances down to their bodies pressed against each other, both still wearing a bra and Ava still wearing her shorts.

“Why are we wearing clothes right now?” Ava questions with a teasing raise of her eyebrow.

Beatrice shrugs, “We still have time to get out of them.”

“Wow! How forward!” Ava gasps in mock surprise, “Are you assuming that we’re going again.”

“Oh, Darling,” Beatrice coos with a shake of her head, “We’ve only just gotten started.”

Ava’s eyes darken again, immediately invigorated. She leans down to kiss Beatrice again but is stopped by two fingers pressing against her lips, “But first, we really should get cleaned up.” Ava blinks and her eyes dart to Beatrice's cheek, as if just noticing the paint covering both of their bodies.

“And get rid of the rest of these clothes,” Beatrice adds before removing her fingers from Ava’s lips and leaning up to kiss her. Ava leans into the kiss, attempting to deepen it before Beatrice pulls away again.

“Come on. Up,” Beatrice instructs, pushing up on Ava’s waist to get her to move. Ava sighs but lets herself roll off of her girlfriend.

-

In the bathroom, Ava sits on the counter with a washrag in her hand, delicately brushing it against Beatrice’s cheek. They’re mostly clean at this point. Somehow they had managed to scrub off the paint from their own skin, trading heated glances at each other but keeping their hands to themselves.

That is, until Ava insisted on helping Beatrice wipe the streak of paint on her face. It’s a ruse, Beatrice is well aware, but she has no reason to deny it.

So now, Beatrice is bracketed between Ava’s legs, hands planted on the cool marble countertop on either side of her while Ava runs the warm towel down her cheek. Beatrice’s eyes stay on Ava’s, watching as she pretends to focus on her task.

She has a sudden urge to tell Ava how much she cares for her. To tell her how much she enjoys moments like these. To tell her how much she wants this all the time.

Instead she whispers, “You make me happy.” And she hopes that it’s enough to convey all of her feelings in a single sentence. She isn’t sure that it is.

Ava’s eyes quickly leave her cheek to lock with Beatrice’s gaze. “Yeah?” She responds almost shyly, dragging the washcloth down to Beatrice’s neck and holding it there.

Beatrice nods slowly, letting her eyes drop down to Ava’s lips before pulling back up again.

“You make me happy too, Bea,” Ava says quietly, leaning forward to kiss Beatrice sweetly before adding, “So s o happy.” She smiles before she leans in again, letting this kiss linger.

It heats up quickly. Beatrice's hands move from the counter to press against Ava’s waist, and Ava drops her washcloth in favor of wrapping her arms around Beatrice’s neck. Beatrice lets her teeth brush against Ava’s lip and the responding moan urges her on.

She slides her hands down farther, letting her fingers trail across Ava’s abdomen before they find their way to Ava’s shorts. She breaks the kiss to undo the button and zipper deftly.

While she works, Ava peppers hot kisses against her neck, introducing her tongue and teeth every so often. And as Beatrice pulls Ava’s shorts down, Ava bites on the lobe of Beatrice’s ear. “Bed,” she murmurs lustfully before biting on Beatrice’s neck once more.

“Your wish is my command,” Beatrice answers, reveling in the giggle that echoes off the walls as she hoists Ava off of the counter and into the bedroom.

Beatrice sets her down at the foot of the bed and Ava immediately starts crawling backward, urging Beatrice to follow after her. Once they reach the headboard, Beatrice starts kissing any exposed skin she can find as she reaches behind Ava to unclasp her bra.

It falls and Ava tosses it to the side just as Beatrice's mouth finds her nipple. She moans, then wastes no time in tugging at Beatrice’s sports bra.

Beatrice lifts her arms and breaks away from Ava’s chest only long enough for Ava to take off the offending garment.

“ Fuck ,” Ava breathes as her head tilts back and her back arches in an attempt to have Beatrice closer to her. “Touch me, Bea,” Ava continues urgently, grinding her hips up to find friction against Beatrice’s leg, “I need you to fuck me. Now.”

So Beatrice obliges.

She doesn’t even bother with taking off Ava’s underwear. She slides her hand down the front of them and runs her fingers through rough hair before they meet ridiculously wet heat.

“You’re so-,” Beatrice mutters as she feels just how wet Ava has become, “Ava, you’re dripping.”

“For you, Baby. All for you,” Ava babbles, bucking her hips up into Beatrice’s hand, “You drive me - ah - crazy.”

Beatrice’s breath staggers just before she pushes two fingers into Ava, finding almost no resistance. Ava cries out, her nails digging into Beatrice's shoulders, “Yes. Yes, Bea .”

Shudders pass through Beatrice's body as Ava moans her name. She starts a pace for the thrusts of her fingers, rather fast with the way she’s able to slide into Ava so easily.

Ava lets out unrepressed moans as Beatrice fucks her, mixing in Beatrice’s name with a myriad of curses.

“You’re so - fuck - so good, Bea,” Ava whines breathlessly. Beatrice leans down to kiss against Ava’s neck just as she moves her thumb to brush against Ava’s clit.

Ava gasps between her moans and lifts her hips higher, urging Beatrice on. Beatrice continues her kisses against Ava’s skin as she brings Ava closer and closer to the edge.

She feels Ava tighten against her fingers, chasing her quickly approaching orgasm. Beatrice quickens her pace, rubbing her thumb more insistently against Ava’s clit.

“Come for me, Ava,” Beatrice whispers into Ava’s ear lowly, “ Please .”

Ava practically squeaks out her next breath before she turns her head to capture Beatrice’s lips with her own. Beatrice follows without complaint, swallowing the moans that arise as Ava comes around her fingers.

Ava bucks beneath her as she rides out her high, shudders passing through her. Her chest heaves with deep breaths that she takes in between hot kisses.

The pulsing of Ava’s pussy slows and Beatrice is about to pull her fingers out to let Ava recover, when Ava starts grinding up on them again, slow but determined.

“Again,” Ava demands into her mouth, breath ragged and needy.

-

Beatrice watches as Ava makes her way towards the bathroom, hips swaying almost invitingly - tauntingly . As she pulls open the door, Ava turns her head and raises one eyebrow. A silent invitation.

“I’m coming, Darling,” Beatrice chuckles, still a little out of breath as she lets her head fall back onto her pillow, “Just give me a second.”

Ava sighs dramatically, “Fine, fine.” She leaves the door open as she moves to turn on the shower. “But it’s rude to keep the birthday girl waiting, you know?” Ava’s voice calls out over the sound of the running water. Beatrice chuckles before she taps on her phone screen to check the time.

Her eyes are immediately pulled to a text notification in the middle of her screen, right next to the contact that she avoids like the plague. The last name she wants to see at a time like this. Or ever really.

Mother.

“Fuck” Beatrice whispers as she sits up quickly, pulling her phone off the nightstand, “Shit.” Her hands are suddenly shaking as she opens the message.

 

Mother : Beatrice. We are expecting you at the property as soon as finals have ended. We will allow one extra day for you to pack, so as to not interrupt your studying, which you should be entirely focused on. We will require a full evaluation of your grades this term, which we expect to have improved from last year’s. As you are aware, you will be with us for two weeks, as is customary. Your sister’s husband will be joining us as well this year. Be on your best behaviour. He is very important to the future of your father’s company, and in relation, your own future. Do not be late.

 

“Fuck,” Beatrice repeats as she rereads the text. How could she have forgotten? Her annual trip home. Not that she would ever truly call the house she grew up in “home”.

She’ll be gone for two whole weeks. Two weeks away from Ava and her actual home. From this space they’ve created together.

Beatrice pushes down the sudden rise of anxiety she feels in her chest, taking in a few deep breaths. It’s fine. She’ll figure it out. All it is is two weeks and then she doesn’t have to worry about it. But what about Ava?

“Baby? It’s pretty lonely in here,” Ava calls out from the bathroom, as if on cue. Beatrice can imagine her pout and it temporarily pulls her out of her own head.

“Coming,” She returns, her voice cracking slightly. She locks her phone and replaces it on the nightstand before swinging herself off of her bed.

A trip to the UK is another thing added on to the list of worries for later. Today is all about Ava. Parents, conflicting feelings, confessions - none of that matters. Only Ava. 

And right now, Ava is naked in Beatrice’s bathroom. Ava is waiting for her under a spray of warm water. 

Beatrice would be a fool to let her mind linger on anything other than that.

So she goes to her.

And she wraps her arms around Ava from behind, pushing her front against her back. And she presses kisses on the back of Ava’s neck. And she breathes her in - the soft scent of her coconut shampoo. And she makes her come again, moans echoing off the tiles of the shower. And she holds her tighter. And she kisses her.

And she almost forgets that her mother even texted her at all.

 

— a v a —

A couple of days after Ava’s Birthday, she stares at her phone in her hand. Ava knows that she shouldn’t be nervous for this call, but her stomach tightens as her finger hovers over her mom’s contact.

She has a goal for today, outside of their scheduled catch up call. Today is that day she will 1) Tell Jillian about Beatrice and 2) ask if Beatrice can join Ava for a visit home during the summer. It’s a lot to unpack so suddenly but the increasing need that she’s felt to tell anyone and everyone about her girlfriend is overwhelming.

Ava has already decided that she wants Beatrice around her in every capacity. While she doesn’t necessarily require her mom’s blessing, she does want them to get along.

Ava wants Beatrice to get along with all of the people most important to her, since Beatrice herself is climbing that favorites list rather quickly. And she’s been doing perfectly so far. What’s one more addition?

After one final preparatory exhale, Ava taps the call button on the contact page.

She presses the phone against her ear and leans her back against the arm on the couch. Despite the fact that she’s about to talk to one of her favorite people on the planet, she feels a sudden anxious tightness in her chest. With each ring of the phone, the lump in her throat rises higher.

“Happy belated birthday!” Jillian Salvius’ voice suddenly rings into Ava’s ear.

The nerves leave Ava’s body almost immediately. The sound of her adoptive mother’s voice has a calming effect of no other. Not even Beatrice can compare.

Ava smiles, “Hi mom.”

“How are you, dear?” Jillian responds brightly, “ How was your birthday ?”

“Good! Lots of fun. How are you? How has work been?” Ava doesn’t bring up her mother’s work to others very often. Not that she’s embarrassed, quite the opposite. Jillian’s work in the technological advancement of the medical field is astounding. Any child would be proud to call Jillian Salvius their mother. Ava is no exception.

She has just directly witnessed the way that fact changes the perception people have. Michael is constantly praised for his mother’s work. He is given handouts, asked questions he doesn’t know the answer to, people try to get to their mom through him. He constantly feels the need to prove himself.

Ava has the slight advantage of not sharing their last name. Unless they’ve done an intense amount of research, not many people know of Jillian Salvius’ adopted child. Even if they do, they certainly wouldn’t know her name.

“Busy as always,” Jillian responds, Ava can picture her waving her hand dismissively, ” You know that Kristian always keeps me on my toes.”

Ava chuckles. Kristian Schaefer has worked with Jillian for as long as Ava can remember, before the idea of Arq-Tech was even fully developed.

Ava has always had a sneaking suspicion that Kristian is in love with Jillian, although to Ava’s knowledge, he’s never admitted it. Either way, with his near constant presence, he’s probably the closest Ava has ever had to a father figure.

“I’m sure he does,” Ava smirks as she lets a slight tease slip into her voice. 

“ Oh, stop that ,” Jillian tsks at her through the phone, although her tone is more playful than scolding. Ava knows that she’s blushing.

Ava laughs, letting her head tip back against the couch. “I’m just saying, Mom!” She says between chuckles, “There are worse options in men.”

“ Speaking of men ,” Jillian’s tone turns a little more serious and Ava knows what’s coming, “ How are you on that front? The dating front, that is. ”

Ava had told Jillian about her break-up with JC the night that he cheated on her. She had called her in the dead of night and spoke through sobs while bundled up in her bed. Jillian threatened to storm up to campus the next morning. To get him taken off the Football team (As if he was ever let off the bench). To get him thrown out of ArqU.

As much as Ava was tempted to take her up on the offer, she really couldn’t be bothered. In the long run, JC hadn’t mattered that much to her. Especially not with Beatrice in the picture.

Ava smiles widely at the thought of her girlfriend. “Really good actually,” Ava responds, feeling a heat rush to her cheeks at the sheer happiness she feels when she thinks of Beatrice. It would be a little embarrassing if she wasn’t so used to the feeling now.

“ Oh ?” Jillian is obviously a bit surprised by this statement, if her voice is anything to go by, “ Tell me more .”

“I have a girlfriend,” Ava admits immediately. She wasn’t expecting it to come out so easy. Not that she was nervous for a bad reaction. Jillian had been nothing but supportive when Ava had come out to her as bisexual. But it had taken Ava almost a year to even bring JC up to her mom. He had only met her once, and that is an experience Ava never wants to relive.

But Beatrice. She’s different. She’s everything. And Ava wants her mom to know.

Jillian is silent for a moment, before her voice rings out loudly through the phone speaker, “ A girlfriend?! What is her name? Does she go to ArqU? What is her major? How old is she? How long have you been seeing each other? Is she pret- ”

“Okay! Okay!” Ava interrupts the onslaught of questions with a laugh, “One at a time!’

Her mother does not seem to find the humor in the situation, “ I have to know everything, Ava . This is no laughing matter .”

After a few moments, Ava’s laughter dies down and she catches her breath, “Okay, alright.” She sits up on the couch as she rambles off the answers to each of the questions, “Her name is Beatrice. She’s at ArqU for Finance with a minor in Literature. She’s 22. And we’ve been seeing each other for about 3 months now-”

“ Three months !” Jillian sounds exasperated, “And you’ve only just now told me?”

“To be fair,” Ava defends quickly, “We didn’t tell Mary and Michael until our two month anniversary. We were trying to take it slow.”

“ Trying ?” Jillian questions.

“Yeah, that didn’t work out very well,” Ava responds with a chuckle, “We’re kinda together all the time. I don’t think anybody was fooled.”

“ Tell me about her ,” her mother’s voice is more gentle now, with a sort of quiet understanding.

Ava flops back down onto the couch with an exaggerated sigh, “She’s so good, Mom. Just like, every day I’m blown away with how great she is. And she’s so sweet. And she makes me want to be sweet. She’s smart. She’s such a nerd and it’s the most adorable thing on the planet. She loves books and - Oh! - she’s from London! So she has this accent that’s like super ho-” Ava clears her throat, suddenly remembering she’s on the phone with her mom and probably shouldn’t mention how attractive she finds her girlfriend’s accent to be, “Super… cool…” Jillian scoffs, obviously not buying her correction, but Ava continues anyway. 

“Anyway she just - She’s really good to me. And I'm really happy. I lov - “ Ava’s mouth runs faster than her brain can stop it. She pauses for a second and then sighs, “I really care about her, Mom.”

There is a silence that falls over the call for a few moments before Jillian speaks, “ I can tell, love .” Her voice is achingly tender and fond. It almost makes Ava want to cry.

“I want you to meet her,” Ava says softly, remembering the second part of her agenda, “I was thinking I could bring her home sometime during summer break?”

“ Of course, Ava ,” Jillian agrees instantly, “ I was going to demand that you bring her here if you didn’t offer. I would love to meet her .”

Ava smiles and lets out a relieved sound, “Okay, good.”

And their conversation drifts to other topics as Ava starts her debrief that has been months in the making.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Week 4 :

Beatrice runs her hand up and down Ava’s arm idly, earning a satisfied hum of approval from a half-asleep Ava, who is tucked into Beatrice’s side. Her face is pressed into Beatrice’s bare shoulder, her lips placing small kisses against her skin.

Moments like these are the ones that Beatrice wishes she could stay in forever. Both blissed out from the evening’s ‘activities’, finding comfort in just being with one another. Breathing each other in and recharging.

She takes a deep breath in through her nose, pulling Ava impossibly closer to her side. Of course, Ava follows, wrapping her leg around Beatrice’s.

Beatrice wishes she could just lay here forever and never have to worry about anything ever again.

But her mind, as always, runs too fast.

Finals are next week. She’s been studying like crazy the past month, never feeling prepared enough.

Then, Summer break begins.

Then, the vacation back home. With her family.

A vacation she has yet to tell Ava about.

It’ll be two whole weeks away from Ava. Away from this safe space they’ve created together, and straight into the object of all of her anxieties.

Ava will be five thousand miles away. Over an ocean. In a completely different time zone.

Beatrice won’t be able to just curl up next to her when she inevitably starts to panic. She won’t have Ava there to squeeze her hand, or smile at her, or laugh.

She takes in another breath, this once a tiny bit shakier than the first.

And Ava notices, because of course she does. She always does.

Her head lifts up from Beatrice’s shoulder and her hand moves from Beatrice’s waist to settle on her chest.

“Baby?” Ava prompts softly, her thumb brushing against her collarbone, “You okay?”

Beatrice blinks at her. She debates lying. Debates saying she’s alright just so they can go back to their previous position. But she knows that won't help. It won’t fix anything and it won’t make it any easier.

So, she speaks.

“I have something to tell you,” Beatrice says just as quietly, her brow furrowing slightly, “Or, I mean, something to talk to you about.”

Ava frowns slightly, her own brow crinkling in worry, “Okay? What’s wrong?”

Beatrice turns her head slightly, allowing their noses to brush up against each other, “I'm going to be gone for a little while once summer break starts.”

Ava’s frown deepens, “What do you mean?”

“My parents texted me earlier this week,” Beatrice continues, bringing up her free hand to push a strand of hair behind Ava’s ear, a comforting gesture for the both of them, “They reminded me of a trip that we take every summer. A trip back home.”

“To London?” Ava asks, the confusion growing on her face. Beatrice nods in return.

“When do you leave?” Ava continues, “How long will you be gone?”

“I’ll have to leave the Saturday after finals,” Beatrice answers with a sigh, “I’ll be gone for two weeks.”

Ava lifts herself up abruptly, pressing her hand into the bed to keep herself steady as she looks down at Beatrice. Beatrice’s hand, which was previously draped around Ava’s shoulder, falls onto the mattress with a quiet thud. Ava’s face is still pulled into a frown as she says tensely, “That’s this Saturday, Beatrice. That’s not even a week from now.” Beatrice winces and Ava continues, “Two weeks? You’re gonna be gone for two weeks and you didn’t tell me till right now ? Right before finals?”

Beatrice opens her mouth as if she’s going to say something before closing it, not being able to find any words. She swallows.

“Bea, we’re hardly gonna be able to see each other this week and then you’re leaving ?” Ava shakes her head with an exasperated look on her face.

“I don’t want to,” Beatrice finally finds her voice, although it sounds a little more whiny than she’d like, “I have to.”

“You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions,” Ava retorts. Her tone isn’t exactly angry, maybe a mixture of hurt and confusion. But it definitely isn’t kind.

“I can’t make my own decisions when my parents' acceptance is the only thing allowing me to be here,” Beatrice responds sharply. She hates how much she sounds like her mother at that moment. How it is her mother’s words traveling through her mouth instead of her own.

“That’s bullshit, Beatrice, and you know it,” Ava rebukes, shaking her head slightly to prove her point.

“I don’t think it is,” Beatrice responds seriously, her face pulling into a frown as well. Ava scoffs as she scoots away from Beatrice slightly, unwrapping their legs from each other. Beatrice instantly misses the contact but doesn’t follow after her, as much as the pull in her chest tells her to.

“So you’re just gonna do whatever they tell you even if you don’t want to?” Ava’s tone is almost accusatory as she sits up fully, “Because, what? They’ll be mad at you?”

“That’s not-” Beatrice starts before she’s cut off.

“What is it then, Beatrice?” Ava is more frantic now, her hands flailing out to the sides in some sort of half shrug, “You’re excited to leave me here while you go vacationing in Britain?”

Something snaps in Beatrice's head at that moment. Ava doesn’t know anything. Ava doesn’t know about how horrible her parents have been to her. She hasn’t seen how they act first hand. Beatrice avoids bringing them up at all costs because of that. 

Ava doesn’t know about the countless nights she would spend crying herself to sleep. She doesn’t know about the fear that haunted her every waking moment for her entire childhood. She doesn’t know how often her parents' words slither their way into her head any time she feels herself slip.

Ava has no idea what she’s talking about.

“Do you think I want to spend two weeks with my parents?” Beatrice continues before she can stop herself. Her voice starts raising, “I would much rather stay here with you than be with them. All I’ll be thinking about the entire time is getting back to you. They’ll berate me and they’ll tell me all the things I’m doing wrong and - and they’ll ask me if I’m still going to church. And no matter how well I do in my classes, they’ll tell me I need to get my grades up because they aren’t paying for me to waste my potential here.”

Ava’s anger dies down significantly as Beatrice speaks. Beatrice watches her features soften and it makes her own rage amplify. Burning and hot. Not at Ava - never at Ava - at her parents. At their short leash. At their distaste for their own daughter. At their refusal to allow her to live her life the way she wants to live it.

“Even worse,” Beatrice continues her rant breathlessly, her speech getting faster and losing its usual poise, “They’ll pester me about my love life. They’ll ask why I don’t have a boyfriend yet and I won’t be able to tell them about you. I want to tell them about you but I can’t. They’d attack me for it. For - for being with you - for being me - they’d - I don’t even know what they’d do if I - they - I can’t - ”

It’s then when she realizes she’s shaking. And she doesn’t realize that she’s crying until she feels Ava’s thumb brush against her cheek.

“Oh, Bea,” Ava whispers quietly. Where before she had been upset, instead there is understanding and some aching sadness lingering in her gaze. Her thumb continues soft strokes against Beatrice's cheek.

Beatrice blinks once and then tilts forward to fall into Ava’s chest. Arms wrap around her immediately as Ava pulls her closer.

And Beatrice lets herself cry. She lets herself be held by the person she cares about the most in the world. And she lets her whisper comforting words into her ear. And she lets her pepper soft kisses into her hair. And she lets her run her fingers up and down her back.

“I’m sorry,” Beatrice whispers into Ava’s neck once the tears have mostly stopped, “I should’ve told you sooner, I’m sorry.”

Ava shushes her gently, “It’s okay, Bea. I understand.”

“I don’t wanna go,” Beatrice repeats with a sniffle. Her voice sounds impossibly small, even to her own ears. She sounds too young and too vulnerable.

“I know baby,” Ava murmurs comfortingly, her hand rubbing large circles on Beatrice’s back, ”I know.”

-

After about 10 minutes of quiet cuddling and comforting, Ava’s tentative voice breaks through the silence that had settled over them, “Speaking of Summer, I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about too. It might be a little bit of a sensitive subject right now though.”

Beatrice’s head lifts off of Ava’s shoulder, a silent invitation to continue.

Ava swallows and then says, “I want to visit my mom this summer at some point, maybe stay a little while. It’s not set in stone or anything and it would probably only be a few days. But anyway umm…” Her voice trails off as she looks back and forth between Beatrice’s eyes, “I wanted to ask if you wanted to go with me?”

“Go - go with you?” Beatrice asks as her eyebrows raise “To your mother’s house?”

Ava nods slowly, searching Beatrice's face nervously. Beatrice blinks.

“To meet your mother?” She clarifies as her brow furrows. Ava nods again.

“I talked about you the other day and she said she wanted to meet you,” Ava shrugs to seem more casual than she is. However, her cover is almost immediately blown as her speech picks up speed, “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know it’s a lot so I understand if you don’t want to. She just brought it up and I told her I would ask you. I can just go visit her while you’re gone and you don’t have to go and we can just meet back here afterwards and forget anything happened and-”

Beatrice cuts her off by leaning forward and placing a soft kiss against her lips. Ava sighs, her shoulder’s losing their tension. The kiss is short and Ava chases Beatrice’s lips as she pulls away, her eyes still closed. Beatrice chuckles wetly, her eyes still puffy and red from her tears.

Ava opens her eyes and smiles softly, “Is that a yes?”

Beatrice takes in a deep breath and contemplates, biting the inside of her cheek idly. It’s definitely a sensitive subject at the moment, one that stings just a little bit.

Parents have always been a difficult topic for Beatrice, especially knowing the state of her own family bonds. She escaped her own parents as soon as she could, and even then she is still stuck under their watchful eyes.

But she knows not all parents are like that. Ava has never said anything bad about her mom. In fact, it has only even been good things. Ava even told her mom about Beatrice. And her mom wants to meet Beatrice.

She’s putting in an effort. She cares about her daughter’s happiness. She, presumably, doesn’t care that Ava is dating a woman, just that she is being cared for.

Ava hasn’t told Beatrice much about her childhood, but she knows enough to know that Jillian took her under her wing and cared for her just as she deserved to be cared for. That she never treated her anything less than a daughter by blood, maybe even better.

And Ava wants them to meet.

Just because Beatrice’s own parents are shit, doesn’t mean she has to avoid them all. Maybe it will help heal something in her after her trip to London. Maybe.

So, after a worrying silence, Beatrice nods, “Alright.”

“Yeah?” Ava questions, a hopeful look gracing her face. It’s breathtakingly adorable and Beatrice feels the overwhelming need to kiss her. But honestly, what else is new?

She smiles, “Yes, Ava. I’ll go.”

Ava beams, and Beatrice knows then that she made the right choice.

 

Notes:

Thoughts?? Please tell me <3

Chapter 23: The Auditions

Notes:

heyyyyyy :D

My excuse this time is that I just finished moving and had to get everything settled last month.
I've ALSO been working on my big bang fic which should be coming out in may.
(WHICH I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE! YOU'LL LITERALLY PASS OUT WHE YOU SEE THE ARTIST IM WORKING WITH FOR IT)

OKAY anyway, enjoy <3

— a v a —

Finals Week :

Finals are finally here. Ava was expecting to be a little more nervous about her preparedness, if she’s being honest. But with Beatrice’s rather stern studying regimen and her generous rewards for following said regimen, Ava seems to somehow know the testing material like the back of her hand.

Her World History final goes by without a hitch on Monday, and Tuesday is spent prepping for her next finals while Beatrice is at campus for most of the day.

While Ava’s finals are spaced out - one on Monday, one on Wednesday and the last on Friday - Two of Beatrice’s finals happened to stack up on Tuesday, Calculus 2 and one of her Literature classes.

Ava is sitting on the couch in Beatrice’s apartment putting the finishing touches on her photography final piece when she hears keys jiggling in the lock. Macaroni gives one loud meow as he hops out of his place nestled next to Ava’s leg and trots towards the door.

Ava turns her head and feels a smile pull at her face naturally.

She never thought that she would be someone who enjoyed being so domestic. Someone who waits for their partner to come back home and who is excited to hear about their day. Someone who craves that short greeting kiss.

All of that is something she’s never had until now. And she loves every second of it more than she can even comprehend, much less express.

But when Beatrice walks through the door, her shoulders are slumped slightly and her head is hung a little low. Someone less in tune with everything Beatrice might not notice, but Ava does.

Beatrice meets her gaze and gives her a small smile. It’s half hearted and a little weak, but she does look at least glad to see her girlfriend.

“Hi Bea,” Ava greets softly, closing her laptop and setting it down on the coffee table to rise up to meet her, “How’d it go?”

As she approaches, Ava reaches her arms out in front of her, blatantly offering - or maybe even demanding - a hug.

Beatrice groans as she lets herself fall into Ava’s arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around Ava’s waist. She pushes her forehead into Ava’s shoulder and inhales deeply, and Ava feels her heart squeeze.

She tries to remember the Beatrice that existed before dating Ava. Would she have so willingly given in to this close physical contact? Would she melt into a hug or show her vulnerability in having a bad day? Ava highly doubts it, and that gives her that tightening feeling in her chest that she’s gotten intimately comfortable with for the past couple of months.

Ava runs her hands up and down Beatrice’s back a few times, attempting to be a grounding force. Beatrice’s exhale comes out heavily and with the next breath she admits, “That was exhausting.”

Ava only hums and keeps her hand moving against Beatrice’s spine. She’s learned it's better to let Beatrice come to her first. If she needs a little push, Ava will give her that. But for now, all she has to do is be here. And she’ll always do that happily.

They stand there for a few moments. And with each passing second, Ava feels the tenseness in Beatrice’s shoulders dissipate and hears the way her breathing steadies.

Beatrice breaks away, pulling back slightly, but only far enough to be able to look in her eyes.

“Hi Darling,” she whispers into the limited space in between them. Ava could pass out from the amount of affection that drips off of that sweet pet name. She feels like she’ll never get used to the way one little word makes her feel.

“Hi Baby,” Ava whispers back before she leans forward to give Beatrice a chaste kiss.

Beatrice hums against Ava’s lips and smiles softly when they part again. It's more genuine this time.

“I hate calculus,” Beatrice says in the next breath with a shake of her head.

“At least you’re good at it,” Ava shrugs before walking backwards, pulling Beatrice towards the couch.

“That might be true,” Beatrice admits as they flop onto the cushions, sitting side by side with their shoulders brushing, “but that doesn't make it suck any less.”

Before dating Ava, Beatrice would’ve never said that anything ‘sucked’, much less a college course. It’s one of those silly things that has rubbed off on Beatrice just from being around Ava all the time. And Ava almost hates how much she loves it.

“Don’t you have to take like two more calculus classes for your major?” Ava points out with a bit of humor coloring her tone.

“Ugh,” Beatrice groans as she leans back into her seat, covering her face with her hands, “Don’t remind me.”

“I’m sure you did great, Bea,” Ava comforts as she pulls up her legs to sit cross-legged on the couch. Her knee finds its place resting on Beatrice’s thigh, and Beatrice’s hand falls from her face and lands there naturally.

“What about your other final?” Ava asks with a tilt of her head, “Your literature one.”

Beatrice nods as her thumb makes a circle against the fabric of Ava’s sweatpants, “That one was fine. I might’ve missed one question but the rest were rather simple.”

“Of course they were to you ,” Ava teases before she places a kiss against Beatrice’s cheek, “My little genius.” Her voice is low and filled with praise.

And she feels a rush of pride when Beatrice’s cheeks color red at the tone. Three months and Ava can still make her blush. It’s pretty endearing.

Beatrice clears her throat before she points at Ava’s laptop on the coffee table, “What were you working on?”

“Just my photography final. It’s due tomorrow,” Ava shrugs as if it's no big deal. As if she hasn’t been working her ass off on this piece.

Beatrice hums in acknowledgement before she asks, “Can I see?”

Nerves suddenly shock through Ava.

She’s been dreading those words from Beatrice. Not because she feels like the piece isn’t good. It actually might be her best one to date. Maybe the thing she is the most proud of out of every college project she’s done so far.

But a series of insecurities flow through Ava’s head all at once.

Will Beatrice like it? Will she think it’s too much? Will she be overwhelmed by the sheer emotion that’s hidden behind each of the details? Will she understand just how much Ava is trying to convey?

Ava takes in a deep breath, attempting to push away her anxious thoughts as she nods.

She leans forward to pick up her laptop from the coffee table before setting it on her lap, still closed. She cracks open the screen a bit and then glances at Beatrice once, finding a soft and encouraging smile awaiting her.

Ava exhales through her nose before she opens the screen all the way.

Photoshop opens with her fully edited project front and center. Ava turns the laptop a little so that it faces Beatrice, and then she leans back. Beatrice's hand freezes against Ava’s leg as she takes in the piece.

It’s something of a collage of pictures, edited so that the edges each fade into each other softly. There are various shots of hallways and staircases and bookshelves around campus, all with a sepia-like tone that flows together seamlessly. There are stacks of books in dark study corners. Desks with pale overhead lights. A cup of coffee settled on a table.

But the main focus is the shot nestled in the middle of the frame, surrounded by smudges of gold that separate it from the rest of the piece. A book is covering the bottom half of a face, showing only a pair of bright eyes. Beatrice's eyes. Honey colored eyes accentuated by the hues of the surrounding pictures and piercing through the screen.

It's a picture that was taken months ago, before they were entertaining any of the feelings both of them were having. When they were just lab partners studying at the library together. When they hadn’t even kissed yet.

And somehow, the emotion is still there, captured in that simple impromptu shot. The soft affection. The attraction. The tug .

Ava doesn’t know how neither of them saw it before.

After a moment of heart-attack inducing silence, Ava speaks, “What do you think?” Her voice is quiet, barely audible.

The only reason she knows that Beatrice heard her, is the whisper she receives in return. A soft, reverent whisper, “ Ava .”

Ava swallows at the tone, and can’t help but to ask, “Do you like it?”

Beatrice tears her gaze away from the screen to scan Ava’s face. Ava watches as her eyes travel over every detail with such intensity - such emotion - before they land on her lips.

Then, without warning, Beatrice careens forward, crashing her lips into Ava’s with some sort of fevered vigor. A surprised sound gets caught in Ava’s throat before she reciprocates the kiss, letting her lips move against Beatrice’s naturally.

Ava feels Beatrice press down on the screen of the laptop, shutting it against Ava’s lap as she starts leaning her down into the cushion of the couch, all while continuing to slide her lips across Ava’s desperately.

Ava has barely enough forethought to slide her laptop onto the rug before she lets herself adjust as Beatrice crawls on top of her, pinning her to the couch. Her legs are trapped between Beatrice’s and her hands rise up to settle on either side of Beatrice’s neck.

They stay like that for a few moments, mouths eagerly meeting each other, desperately searching for more.

Beatrice breaks from Ava’s mouth only to start planting hot kisses down her throat. “That piece - ” a kiss. “Is perfect - ” another kiss. “You did so well,” another.

The praise goes directly to Ava’s core, hot and wanting. Beatrice bites at the skin at the base of Ava’s neck lightly before soothing the spot with her tongue.

“Y-yeah?” Ava questions breathlessly as one of her hands travels into Beatrice’s hair

“Mmhm,” Beatrice hums against Ava’s throat before ghosting her lips up the side of her neck until she reaches Ava’s ear. Quietly - and incredibly sensually - she whispers, “And I think you deserve a reward.”

Ava swallows thickly as her fingernails scratch at Beatrice’s scalp. " Yes ,” She feels her hips cant upward, attempting to find any sort of contact.

When one of Beatrice’s hands lands on her hip to keep her down, Ava realizes the situation that they’re in. Sprawled on top of each other, shamelessly making out on the couch where Lilith could easily walk in on them. Getting closer and closer to doing a lot more than just making out.

“What about the - the rules?” Ava questions half-heartedly as Beatrice’s hand starts to slide towards the top hem of Ava’s sweatpants, “Keep it in your pants on the holy ground?” 

Beatrice rises slightly so that she’s face to face with Ava once more. Beatrice leans forward and kisses her firmly, letting her tongue slide against Ava’s teeth, before she whispers, practically into Ava’s mouth, “ Fuck Lilith’s rules.”

“Oh” Ava breathes as she feels herself grow wetter as the curse escapes Beatrice’s lips, “That was like… insanely hot.”

Beatrice smirks - fucking smirks - before she leans down to kiss Ava again. This time, she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t pull away.

Ava’s lips meet Beatrice’s in a filthy dance against one another. Teeth enter the mix, nipping and biting against skin. Tongues press and slide against each other, taking as much as they’re giving in return.

It’s so hot so fast, and Ava desperately wishes she were wearing less clothes.

As if on cue, she feels Beatrice’s hand slide up the front of her shirt, fingertips pressing insistently against her skin, sure and determined.

Cool air hits Ava’s stomach as her shirt rides up, bunching up against Beatrice’s arm as her hand finds Ava’s breast. Ava parts from Beatrice’s mouth to gasp as Beatrice traps her nipple between two of her fingers, squeezing with just enough pressure to have Ava pushing her chest forward with want.

Ava’s eyes squeeze shut as she lifts herself off the cushions, attempting to press her entire body against Beatrice. The most she gets is her thigh pushing against Beatrice’s. It’s not anywhere near enough.

She needs more .

“ Fuck ,” Ava whispers as Beatrice’s hand clenches against her breast, practically clawing into the soft skin there, “Please Bea, Please .”

“Please what?” Beatrice murmurs in return, her voice low and quiet and perfect , “What do you want, Ava?”

Ava opens her eyes to meet dark, blown pupils staring down at her. Beatrice’s mouth is slightly agape as she looks down at the mess Ava has likely become.

It makes her feel powerful, how Beatrice looks at her in times like this. It makes her feel wanted, desired, craved . The hungry look in her eyes right now makes Ava want to do nothing but let Beatrice take whatever she wants. Over and over and over again.

Ava bites her lip to muffle the groan she lets out as Beatrice’s hand squeezes once more. 

“Fuck me,” Ava gets out desperately, feeling her hips buck up again and find no purchase, “Please, please fuck me.”

Beatrice exhales shakily just before she slides her hand out of Ava’s shirt, planting it beside Ava’s head to keep her balance as she adjusts one of her legs, picking it up and sliding it between Ava’s.

Ava stares between their bodies, watching as Beatrice’s knee nudges Ava’s legs open, guiding her knee to bend as well.

Ava follows the wordless direction with ease, letting Beatrice move her body however she pleases. Beatrice hooks her knee underneath Ava’s as she settles into the couch, effectively pinning Ava’s leg off to the side and giving herself full access.

Ava swallows the moan that threatens to escape at the small show of dominance. At the fact that Beatrice has her pinned underneath her, ready and wanting.

“Please,” Ava whispers again, voice shaky with anticipation and sheer need .

But Beatrice takes her time, slowing down from the rushed neediness that was contained in the last few minutes. Beatrice runs one of her hands down Ava’s body, watching as her fingertips brush against cloth covered nipples and then down to the area of skin still exposed from Ava’s shirt riding up.

Ava bites her lip again, barely stopping the whine that gets caught in her throat.

A look of contemplation crosses Beatrice's face before she tugs at the bottom hem of the shirt, lifting it up Ava’s body. Ava starts to lift her arms to help, but Beatrice shakes her head, “Stay just like that, darling.”

There is a sense of demand in the soft tone she carries, and it makes Ava freeze in place. She nods weakly in compliance.

“ Good girl,” Beatrice praises softly. Another moan attempts to rise up out of Ava. This one escapes in the form of a strained groan. Holy shit . Fuck .

Beatrice continues to pull the shirt up until it reaches Ava’s collarbone, exposing her bare breasts. Beatrice’s next breath is shaky as she leaves the fabric bunched up under Ava’s chin, eyes glued on Ava’s chest.

“Touch me,” Ava practically begs, feeling her body squirm underneath Beatrice, “ Please , baby.”

She can’t handle the way Beatrice is looking at her anymore. She feels like she might combust if she doesn’t have Beatrice’s hands on her right now. She feels like she might -

A sigh of relief spills out of Ava’s lips as Beatrice's hand cups Ava’s breast again, pressing firmly against sensitive skin. Then suddenly, Beatrice’s mouth is against her nipple, sucking slightly.

Ava whimpers as Beatrice tongue makes circles around the sensitive bud, finding the perfect rhythm against her. And when Beatrice bites down, Ava’s hand slaps over her mouth to smother the yelp she lets out.

Beatrice parts from her chest, looking up at Ava through lidded eyes. “You can be as loud as you want, Ava,” Beatrice murmurs before she kisses just next to her nipple, “I want to hear you.” She bites at the flesh there, and this time, Ava doesn’t stifle the moan that escapes.

Ava feels Beatrice smile against her skin before her hand trails down once more, only stopping when it reaches the elastic band of Ava’s sweatpants. Then, she pushes past it, letting her fingers pass through damp curls and land in wet heat.

Ava hums encouragingly as her head tilts back, burying into the throw pillow on the edge of the couch. “ God , yes,” she babbles as Beatrice fingers run through her cunt, gathering an obscene amount of wetness, “ Yes , Bea. Please.”

It's honestly mind-boggling that Beatrice can get her as worked up as she does. Just a few touches and Ava is desperate for her fingers inside of her. She is ready and waiting and wanting .

“ Ava ,” Beatrice breathes just before she pushes two fingers inside of her, achingly slow. 

Ava gasps as she bottoms out, Beatrice’s long slender fingers already grazing the perfect spots inside of her. And when Beatrice pulls out again, her pace still slow and steady, Ava’s breath studders.

“You feel - so good - ah ,” Ava is cut off by Beatrice pressing inside of her again, a little faster this time.

“So good,” Beatrice repeats breathlessly, before she leans up to kiss against Ava’s neck, “ You feel so good, Ava.”

And Ava feels like she could come just from hearing Beatrice say those words. Beatrice is usually quiet during sex, mostly following instructions or moaning Ava’s name or whispering quiet pleas. But rarely ever these whispers of praise .

She’s never been too shy about dirty talk outside of the actual act of sex, but when they’re actually touching each other - while Beatrice’s fingers are inside her - Beatrice has always gotten a little more reserved.

So hearing Beatrice say that Ava feels good ? It seems like a big step. That’s not even to mention the fact that it's also incredibly sexy.

“Tell me more,” Ava begs as Beatrice’s fingers slide out of her again, “Tell me what you’re - ah fuck - thinking.”

Beatrice lets out a low sound, maybe a sigh or even a moan, as she finds a rhythm with her fingers, “I want - I want to - “ She cuts herself off with a frustrated sound. Ava can see her jaw clenching and unclenching as she thrusts her fingers in and out of Ava, her hand buried deep into her sweatpants.

Ava would be lying if she said the focused expression on Beatrice’s face and the set of her jaw isn’t making Beatrice look ten times hotter, if that’s even possible. She feels herself clench around Beatrice’s fingers on the next thrust.

“Want to what?” Ava asks with a staggered breath, surprising herself that she’s able to speak in this condition, “What do you want to do to me, baby?”

“I - I want to make you -” Beatrice cuts herself off again, her breathing unsteady as she looks down Ava’s body. 

“You want me to come?” Ava finishes with a moan, feeling her back arch underneath Beatrice, “You want to make me - ah - come for you?”

Beatrice nods frantically as her movements speed up, fingers curling inside Ava with each push, “ Yes .”

Ava moans again - louder this time - as her hands move to grip at the back of Beatrice’s neck, nails digging into skin.

“Tell me to - and I - fuck - I will,” Ava manages to mumble between heavy breaths as she feels her body tense up.

Beatrice thrusts impossibly deeper, letting out low moans and quiet groans as she fucks Ava with a passion that could only exist in these moments. Ava feels her tits bounce with each push of fingers inside her and she can feel Beatrice’s gaze burning against her chest.

She wants to tell Beatrice to touch them, or lick them, or bite them, or just anything to give her more. 

But just before she opens her mouth, Beatrice’s thumb reaches up to brush against Ava’s clit. And it's exhilarating. 

It takes everything Ava has to not let her orgasm overtake her immediately on contact. She holds back, tilting her head back onto the cushions letting out another moan. She bites her lip so hard she worries that she might’ve broken skin.

It’s so good. It’s everything .

Her breaths come out as short sighs of pleasure now, going in time with Beatrice’s fingers sliding in and out of her. The sounds that echo in the wide open space are absolutely filthy, even through layers of clothing.

Then finally - finally - Beatrice breathes, “Come for me, Ava.”

And Ava practically explodes with the wave of pleasure that washes over her. She moans as she feels herself tighten on Beatrice’s fingers once, then again, then again.

She isn’t sure if she’s ever come so hard in her life. She’s pretty sure she saw stars. Her underwear - hell, probably even her actual sweatpants - are soaked. 

After a moment, Ava’s orgasm slows to a weak pulse around Bea’s fingers.

Beatrice pulls her hand out of Ava’s underwear delicately, looking down at her with that reverence that makes Ava feel like she’s the only girl that exists in the world, or at least the most important.

“That was - “ Beatrice shakes her head with wide, still dilated eyes

“Good?” Ava suggests, out of breath and chest heaving.

Beatrice shakes her head again, “Perfect.”

Ava smiles weakly as she lets out a chuckle, “Yeah, you’re tellin me.”

She watches as Beatrice’s eyes trail down her body again, still hungry - unsatiated. And it’s kind of cute, the way Beatrice lets out a sigh as she trails one finger down Ava’s stomach. Clearly wanting, but not taking.

It’s sweet how considerate she is, but Ava definitely wants to return the favor as soon as possible.

“Take me to bed, Bea?” Ava requests with that same soft smile as she brushes her fingers down Beatrice’s face.

The lust in Beatrice’s face dims briefly to let affection shine through, “Of course.”

Then she adjusts Ava’s shirt, pushes herself off the couch, and holds out her hand for Ava to take, “Let’s go, darling.”

Ava smiles a little wider as she takes her hand and lets Beatrice pull her up.

Yeah.

She loves this girl.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Friday after finals : 

“You’ll be able to come to the auditions, right?” Ava asks across the room as she closes the refrigerator door, walking away with a cold slice of pizza that she immediately brings to her mouth. She hops up onto the kitchen counter, which Beatrice has scolded her for an unreasonable amount of times to no avail.

Instead of reprimanding her, Beatrice only nods as she leans back into the couch, holding her place in her book with her thumb, “Just barely. I have to leave right after but as long as they - “

“You don’t have to come,” Ava interrupts as she chews, “If it’s too close.” She shrugs as if she doesn’t mind, but Beatrice can see the way her shoulders deflate slightly at just the idea of her not being there. Ava kicks her feet idly as she looks down at her pizza.

Her excitement has been obvious in the giddy way she’s talked about these auditions for the past few weeks, all smiley and practically vibrating with nervous energy. Beatrice wouldn’t miss this moment for the world, especially seeing as it’ll be the last time she'll be able to see Ava before her two weeks back home.

Beatrice smiles softly - fondly - before she slides her bookmark in between the pages of her book and sets it on the coffee table. She stands up and takes the few steps to cross into the kitchen.

Ava does this thing (which Beatrice is definitely guilty of as well) where she feels like some sort of burden when anyone goes out of their way for her. She doesn’t want to impede on Beatrice’s time or mess up her schedule in any way. No matter that Beatrice has been planning out the details surrounding this trip for the last two weeks. And no matter that Beatrice would do anything to make Ava happy.

Ava feels like she has to give Beatrice an out. Some reason to say “Oh, you’re right, it’ll cut too close” or “I actually don’t really care to see the auditions at all”. As if Beatrice hasn’t considered dropping this whole trip home completely just so she wouldn’t have to be separated from Ava for two whole weeks.

It’s a ridiculous thought really, that Beatrice would ever miss something this important to Ava. A thought that she has to rectify immediately.

As Beatrice reaches Ava, she brackets her in with her arms, letting her wrists brush against the outside of her legs as she leans forward into Ava’s space. Ava, to her credit, doesn't seem too affected by the motion, simply swallowing her current bite and lowering her pizza slice to her lap.

“I’ll be there, Ava,” Beatrice confirms with a short nod before she leans forward to kiss her cheek, “What kind of roadie would I be if I wasn’t?” 

Ava smiles right before she snorts, short and cute, “You’re a terrible roadie.”

Beatrice gasps in mock offense, her jaw dropping, “You don’t mean that.”

“You’ve never once helped us with equipment,” Ava points out with a raise of her eyebrow, “I’m pretty sure that's like the main job of a roadie.”

“Well, I just don’t want to break anything,” Beatrice counters with a weak shrug of her shoulders, “I could be a roadie if I wanted to.”

“ Ohhh , mhm,” Ava nods seriously, brow furrowed, before she breaks out into a smile and leans forward to place a kiss against Beatrice’s lips. Beatrice smiles into the kiss as well, their teeth bumping against each other.

Beatrice pulls back and repeats softly, “I’ll be there.”

Ava nods, a small smile still playing across her mouth, “Okay.” Then suddenly, she pushes against Beatrice’s chest with one hand, “Now let me eat my pizza in peace, roadie .”

Beatrice rolls her eyes as she backs away, heading back towards her book with her hands held up slightly, as if in surrender.

 

-

That night is filled with clipped moans and broken sighs.

It’s the last night they’ll have together for two whole weeks. And while her head is settled between Ava’s thighs, both of them desperate and needy, Beatrice realizes how much she’s going to miss this girl.

This girl who has completely flipped her world upside down and inside out in the matter of months.

This girl that makes her consider crazy things like taking breaks from studying during finals week. Like taking in a cat off the street. Like sitting on the kitchen counter and eating cold pizza. Like telling her parents “no”.

But instead of lingering on the impending feeling of doom that is visiting her parents, Beatrice focuses on the feeling of Ava’s thighs pressed against her ears and the way Ava’s back arches just slightly at a simple touch and the filthy sounds that escape Ava’s mouth with each flick of Beatrice’s tongue.

That is much easier to think about than anything else.

-

 

Saturday :

Band Auditions are underway.

Six of them sit side by side on the two couches in the corner of Mary’s Garage. In order, Michael, Mary, Ava and Camila all manage to somehow fit on one couch with a clipboard in each of their hands. Mary has complained multiple times about the lack of space, but each time Ava has mentioned some sort of “band solidarity”.

Lilith and Beatrice share the other couch, a truly outrageous amount of space left between them, which Lilith fills by pulling one of her legs up onto the cushion. Beatrice tries to ignore the almost menacing glares Mary sends their way.

There have been 7 different people who have come through in the past hour and a half, each prepared with a different song and each hopeful in their chances of getting to play with Hope at Last Oath. Throughout each audition, Beatrice’s gaze has drifted between the auditioner and her girlfriend, like some sort of magnet that always seems to pull her eyes back to Ava.

Beatrice has been keeping tabs on the subtle changes in her facial expressions. She can tell just by a twitch of Ava’s mouth or a raise of Ava’s eyebrow what she likes and what she doesn’t. So far, Beatrice knows that no one has particularly stood out.

“Only 2 left,” Michael points out as he looks down at his clipboard, flipping through a couple of pages.

“What do we think?” Camila asks the group, leaning forward to be able to look at each of her bandmates.

Mary shrugs noncommittally and Ava sighs, “No one stands out so far.” If the mood wasn’t so glum, Beatrice would smile at how easily she can read her girlfriend. Instead, she shifts to place her elbow on the arm of the couch, settling her head into her hand.

Ava lifts her head up from her clipboard and finds Beatrice’s eyes automatically, surprising Beatrice when her scrunched up look of concentration instantly fades into a soft smile. Beatrice lets herself smile in return then, attempting any form of comfort she might be able to give.

She knows how much this band means to Ava. Finding the perfect replacement for Michael is imperative. And if just one shared look can ease the tension building in Ava’s shoulders, Beatrice will oblige any day of the week.

“Maybe the next one will be good,” Lilith pipes up with a shrug, her own attempt at comfort. With the way Camila turns to look at her fondly, it might’ve somehow worked just a bit.

“Lilith’s right,” Camila says with a nod before turning back to her band, “Let’s get the next one in here. Maybe they’ll be the one.”

Mary nods, cups her hands around her mouth, then yells, “NEXT!”

A man opens the door to the garage, clutching a pitch black guitar in one hand as he enters the room. He has a wavy mop of hair on the top of his head and a neat mustache. “Hallo, I’m Hans,” He carries a thick German accent when he speaks and some sort of boyish charm when he smiles.

Ava brightens suddenly, “Hallo! Bereit zu spielen? ( hi! ready to play? )” Some uneasy feeling fills Beatrice’s stomach when Hans’ grin widens. Some seering, angry feeling. Something that feels a lot like jealousy.

Which is ridiculous. Ava is just excited about sharing a language with someone else. She just sees potential in this auditioner. Right? It has nothing to do with him being conventionally attractive with charisma and general sex appeal. Absolutely nothing.

Right?

Her thoughts are interrupted by the start of Hans’ audition song. 

 

~ Now Playing : Sugar, We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy ~

 

The song opens with strong, powerful chords, filling the room with sound. His fingers move expertly on the strings, hitting each beat with precision.

Beatrice doesn't know much about this kind of music, it's definitely more of Ava’s wheelhouse, but she can at least tell one thing : this guy is very good.

It’s especially obvious when her eyes flick away from Hans to settle on the band or - more accurately - Ava.

Her lips are still pulled into a smile, eyes twinkling with excitement. She’s leaned forward on the couch, her foot tapping along with the beat and her head moving in tandem. Camila has a similar look on her face. Mary is still stoic as ever, but her lips are turned up ever so slightly as she scribbles a few things on her clipboard. Michael’s brow is furrowed as he nods along, leaned back with one of his hands tapping against his leg.

They all like him. It’s the best reaction they’ve had over the 8 people that have come in.

Beatrice should be happy about it. She should want this guy to be part of the band. He obviously has the skills for it. And the stage presence. He’s headbanging and dancing around to the music, as if he has a full band playing behind him.

So why does she feel some sort of tightness in the pit of her stomach as her eyes find Ava’s smile again? The smile that is usually directed towards her. It’s not because she’s jealous.

Right ?

Goddammit.

Beatrice’s jaw clenches as she forces herself to watch the performance again. She feels tense, unreasonably so, but attempts to wipe the frown off her face. She tries to nod along to the music, tap her foot, or anything , but she is only really able to lean back in her seat, pulling up her arms to cross over her chest.

Ava glances over at her briefly, still bright and excited. However, when her gaze meets Beatrice, she dims a bit. Anyone else wouldn’t notice the slight change in her demeanor. Anyone other than Beatrice.

Ava tilts her head in a silent question, eyebrows furrowing slightly. Beatrice shakes her head in return, forcing a small smile. Ava’s confusion deepens before she hesitatingly turns back to Hans.

A few minutes later, the song is over. Hans chuckles as he bows slightly when the room claps for him - mostly enthusiastically.

“Danke,” Hans pushes the hair out of his face as he leans back up, a little out of breath from the intensity of his playing.

“Thank you ,” Ava responds, her grin back on in full swing, “That was great! We’ll let you know if you’re in in a few days.”

Hans nods and throws his hand up in a wave before he makes his way out the garage again.

When the door shuts behind him, Camila practically screeches, “That was great , right?”

Mary nods firmly, circling something on her clipboard before looking up, “He’s definitely the best so far.”

“And he’s so hot,” Camila adds as she bounces in her seat, “He’ll do great on stage. The girls will love him, right Aves?”

“Right,” Ava nods with a tentative smile before her eyes meet Beatrice’s again. She turns when Michael speaks up, “I definitely think he’d be a solid choice. He obviously knows what he’s doing.”

“There’s one more to go, just to make sure,” Mary points out as she looks down at her clipboard again, “Should we call them in?”

Camila and Michael nod, but Ava clears her throat, “Actually, could we take 5 real quick?” Beatrice’s eyes widen as Ava looks straight at her, brow furrowed once more.

Camila glances between them curiously as Mary looks down at her watch before shrugging, “Yeah, sure. Five minutes, Silva. No more.”

Ava nods once before she marches over to Beatrice and grabs onto her arm, tugging her out of her seat and towards the door. Beatrice is dragged after her, not really sure how to react to being pulled out of the room like she’s in some sort of trouble.

Ava pulls her into the closest room as they find their way into Mary’s house. Ava flicks on the light to reveal a fully stocked laundry room - and a rather intense look on Ava’s face. Maybe she is in some sort of trouble.

“What’s going on with you?” Ava asks as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking abou-” Beatrice starts.

“I’m talking about you being all broody ,” Ava cuts her off, almost accusatory, “You’re acting like someone stole your candy bar and I have no idea why.”

Beatrice scoffs, “I am not.” The childishness in her tone makes her cringe and her ears turn red as she fights the urge to roll her eyes.

Seemingly uncaring about how childish it sounds, Ava snaps back, ”Are too. You were totally fine until Hans-”

She cuts herself off and Beatrice can practically hear the gears turning in Ava’s head. Oh god.

“Wait a minute. Are you…” A playful smirk finds its way onto Ava’s face, “You’re jealous.” Any irritation is gone from Ava’s demeanor instantly, replaced with some sort of cocky confidence. Beatrice would be lying if she said she didn’t find it annoyingly attractive.

“What? That’s - That’s absurd!” Beatrice defends, letting the eye roll come out as she leans back against the dryer.

“You are! Oh my god,” Ava sounds entirely too excited about this. Which is - again - annoying. Beatrice groans and covers her hands with her face.

“Bea, baby,” Ava coos with a chuckle as she steps directly in front of Beatrice, prying her hands away from her face, “I only want you, okay?”

Ava cups Beatrice’s face in her own hands, thumbs brushing against her cheeks softly. It makes Beatrice melt, but a small frown pulls onto her mouth.

“He’s very attractive,” she says softly, shrugging her shoulders weakly.

“Do I have something to worry about?” Ava asks with a raise of her eyebrows, her lips still pulled into a playful smile. 

“ Ava ,” Beatrice groans as she rolls her eyes again. Ava laughs and wraps her arms around Beatrice’s neck just as Beatrice wraps her own around Ava’s waist.

“Like I said, I only want you,” Ava whispers before she pulls Beatrice in for a kiss. It’s slow, gentle, calming brushes of their lips against each other’s. And Beatrice feels it wash over her in a comforting wave.

Ava is the first to pull away, bumping their foreheads together with a soft sigh. It’s quiet for a few moments, just the sound of their breathing in the tiny laundry room.

Ava pulls back farther, her hands moving to settle against Beatrice's neck as she looks back and forth between Beatrice’s eyes. She seems determined, focused - on what, Beatrice isn’t sure. She opens her mouth as if to say something, then closes it again, brow scrunched lightly.

Beatrice smiles softly in return, moving forward to place a small kiss on the tip of Ava’s nose in an attempt to sooth whatever sudden emotion has bubbled up inside her. Ava visibly relaxes as she takes in a deep breath.

Beatrice kind of wishes she could stay here forever in their little bubble. She wouldn’t have to leave. She wouldn’t have to go to her parents. She wouldn’t have to figure out how to tell Ava -

“I love you,” Ava breathes. And Beatrice immediately tenses.

 

— a v a —

Okay, well.

She wasn’t exactly expecting to say it then, but Ava feels an immediate relief as she says those 3 simple words.

“I love you.”

No matter the circumstances, this is what she wanted, wasn’t it? She wanted it to come at the right time. She wanted it to feel natural, unforced. She didn’t want Beatrice to feel pressured.

However, by the way that Beatrice freezes immediately underneath her touch, Ava can tell that she isn’t ready. This reaction was something she had been expecting. It’s the whole reason she was trying to wait for Beatrice to say it first.

But as the weeks passed, it was becoming clearer and clearer that she needed a little… push.

“I love you.”

Ava smiles gently, giggling at the slightly overwhelmed look on Beatrice’s face, eyes wide and searching.

“It’s okay,” Ava reassures her softly, her hand scratching at the base of Beatrice’s neck, “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.”

She leans forward to place a kiss on Beatrice’s slightly ajar mouth. Ava giggles again, feeling a bit giddy if she’s being honest, “Now stop being all moody, okay?”

Beatrice blinks a few times, before she finally closes her mouth, her jaw clenching and unclenching rhythmically. Ava shakes her head with a fond smile, “Come on.” She drags her hands down Beatrice’s arms to pull her toward the door.

Ava figures she should be a little more upset that Beatrice didn’t say ‘I love you’ back. She should feel insecure or scared. She should be worried about whether Beatrice does love her or not.

But she’s had time to process how this would all go down. A lot of time. 3 months of time.

And she’s happy to give Beatrice as much more time as she needs.

They don’t need those three words. They show their care for each other in everything they do.

Beatrice shows Ava she loves her when she smiles at her over open books, or when they're lying side by side and she reaches up to brush her knuckles against Ava’s cheek, or when she recites Ava’s order perfectly at the drive-thru without having to ask, or when she makes gentle circles with her thumb against Ava’s thigh when she’s driving.

And now that she’s released herself of the pressure of being the first one to say it, Ava realizes that they haven’t needed to share those words to feel the meaning behind them.

So she drags Beatrice back into the garage with a blinding smile on her face. Beatrice, on the other hand, looks a bit more shell shocked than anything else, eyes wide, cheeks and ears a deep shade of red.

Mary narrows her eyes at them as Ava practically skips towards the couches, dropping Beatrice on her own before finding her own seat.

Mary’s voice is more exasperated than anything else when she speaks, “Ava Silva, if you fucked in my house I swear-”

“Mary!” Ava cuts her off with an exaggerated gasp, putting a hand up to her chest in mock offense, “You wound me!”

Beatrice only shrinks into the couch, her blush somehow intensifying with the assumption. Ava can’t help but find it achingly cute.

“Let’s get the next one in here,” Camila pipes up, with an almost conspiratory look at Ava.

Mary shakes her head but cups her hands around her mouth again and calls out, “NEXT!”

A few moments later, a girl walks in with a shy smile on her face. Her curly hair is tied back in a loose ponytail and falls out in a few face-framing waves at the front. Ava’s eyes narrow slightly as she realizes that she looks rather familiar.

When Michael visibly brightens, the memory clicks into place.

It’s been so long, but it’s a night Ava couldn’t forget the details of even if she tried. It’s permanently marked on her brain.

The night of the party where Ava asked Beatrice to be her girlfriend. Or - where they mutually agreed to be girlfriends (which is a point they’ve bickered over more than once).

Anyway, this girl is the same one that Michael had his arm draped over on the couch at that fateful party all those months ago. Ava glances at Michael then back to the girl.

Has Michael been hiding his own relationship this whole time too? Ava starts to get offended, but the girl sends a bashful, innocent wave in his direction, which he returns with a blush on his cheeks, and Ava decides that she can let it go.

As long as her brother is happy, with or without a girlfriend, so is she.

Although he will be getting a stern talking-to after this audition.

The girl clears her throat before she speaks, “Hi, I’m Yasmine Amunet. Thank you guys for having me.” She has a soft, sweet smile. A little shy, but they can work around that if need be.

“Welcome!” Camila greets happily, “Go ahead whenever you’re ready.”

The girl - Yasmine - nods and looks down at her turquoise guitar. Ava watches as her shoulders lift and fall in a deep breath before she starts playing.

 

~ Now Playing : All I Wanted by Paramore ~

 

The song starts with some impressive fingerwork, obviously comfortable with placement and picking. Which is exactly what Ava has been keeping a close eye on in each of these auditions.

They need someone who doesn’t just play the guitar, but who plays the music and knows how to flow through the sound, rather than just play a few notes.

As the verse starts, Yasmine surprises them by doing something that none of the other auditioners have even tried. She sings.

 

“I think I'll pace my apartment a few times”

 

Ava’s eyes widen and she immediately turns to her bandmates, a smile quickly rising onto her face. They wear similar expressions, excitement coming off of them in waves.

This is exactly what they’ve wanted.

Ava turns back to Yasmine, physically stopping herself from bouncing in her seat.

 

“And fall asleep on the couch”

 

Of course, they don't need to have someone that can sing. Camila does well on the background vocals when needed. But with a whole other voice on stage with them, their sound could be revolutionized.

 

“And wake up early to black-and-white reruns”

This opens so many gates for them. Ava wonders if she can harmonize. It doesn't matter, they can teach her if they need to.

Yasmine still moves her fingers perfectly with each strum of her guitar, hitting each note with flawless execution.

 

“That escaped from my mouth”

 

Ava takes in a steadying breath before the chorus starts. This is the deciding moment. The strong power chords on top of an even more challenging vocal line.

 

“All I wanted was you

All I wanted was you

All I wanted was you

All I wanted was you”

 

She’s in.

100%.

As the next verse picks up, Ava turns to the group again, a silent question hidden in the way she raises her eyebrows at them. Mary gives a curt nod, Camila nods more furiously, Michael’s smile only brightens.

Perfect.

Ava looks down to draw several exaggerated circles around Yasmine’s name on the front page of her clipboard. She even goes so far as to cross out every other name on the list.

When she looks back up, her eyes pull to Beatrice - as they often do - just as the chorus of the song starts again.

 

“All I wanted was you”

 

Beatrice is already looking at her, her eyebrows pulled together slightly.

Ava wishes she could tell what is going on inside her head.

 

“All I wanted was you”

 

Ava can’t help but smile gently at Beatrice. At her Beatrice. 

Beatrice’s features soften before she hesitantly returns the smile.

 

“All I wanted was you”

 

Maybe Beatrice isn’t ready just yet.

But she will be.

One day.

 

“All I wanted was you”

 

And right now, this is enough.

 

— b e a t r i c e —

Beatrice takes in a deep breath as she reaches the line for TSA, Ava’s hand clutched tightly within her own. She freezes in place, jaw clenching a few times as she stares at the influx of people all entering deeper into the airport.

She knows that this is it.

She’s been dreading this moment (and the trip following) for the past two weeks. This is where she leaves Ava and goes back to her parents’ house where she’ll spend her time being utterly miserable and generally degraded.

She’ll have to be around her horribly homophobic family. And that’s not even to mention that her sister’s husband will be there - as if she won’t already be berated enough with comments about how she needs to “settle down”.

And she won’t have Ava there with her to make her feel better. She won’t be there to smile at her or make her laugh or hold her hand or kiss her cheek or -

Beatrice feels a tug on her hand as Ava pulls them off to the side, a slight frown pulling on her lips as she searches Beatrice’s face.

“You okay, Bea?” Ava asks gently, rubbing her thumb across the back of Beatrice's hand comfortingly.

Beatrice’s eyes well up immediately at the question. She adjusts the strap of her carry-on bag and looks up at the ceiling with another heavy breath in an attempt to stop any tears from flowing down her face.

“ Oh , baby,” Ava coos before she pulls Beatrice in for a tight hug. Beatrice melts into the embrace, letting her head fall onto Ava’s shoulder weakly, and letting a few of those tears fall against Ava’s shirt.

“You could just stay here,” Ava whispers against the top of Beatrice's head before she places a soft kiss there, “We could go back home and pretend this never even happened.”

And as much as that thought appeals to Beatrice, she knows she has to do this. Besides the fact that her parents would never let her hear the end of it, she needs to show them that she is happy as she is now, without any of their meddling.

She needs to show them that she doesn’t need to change herself just to appeal to their standards.

She shakes her head lightly, still pressing her face into Ava’s shoulder, “I can’t.” Her voice is weak. It sounds pitiful to her own ears, but she’s learned to not care so much about that around Ava.

Ava sighs, maybe a little dejectedly, before she suggests quietly - gently, as if just saying it outloud will scare Beatrice off - “I could go with you.”

Beatrice lifts her head up, looking between Ava’s eyes before she exhales and shakes her head again, “I can’t let you do that, Ava.”

Ava reaches up to wipe a stray tear away from under Beatrice’s eye, “Maybe they’ll love me. I can - “

“I don’t want you to have to deal with them,” Beatrice interrupts, “As much as I want to have you with me, I don’t want to expose you to them. They would treat you horribly, I know it. And I just can’t let them do that to you. I won’t.”

Her voice is firm. Final. And she hopes that it hits the right mark.

With the way that Ava’s shoulders slump slightly, Beatrice would guess that it does.

Ava’s voice is soft when she speaks again, “I just hate seeing you like this. And I hate knowing you’re going to be over there feeling like this the whole time and I won’t be able to help.” Beatrice sees tears forming in her eyes now too, threatening to fall.

“You always help, darling,” Beatrice says with a barely there smile, “Just knowing I get to come back to you helps.”

Ava groans and wipes at her eye as one of the tears falls down. “But I won't be there,” Ava whines, as if Beatrice needed the clarification.

“I’ll be okay,” Beatrice says, although she doesn’t really know if she believes that herself.

A sudden buzzing in Beatrice's pocket pulls her out of their little bubble. She reaches for her phone and is met with a bold text alarm labeled ‘SECURITY’. She sighs as she taps the snooze button and looks back up to see Ava’s watery eyes once more.

Ava lurches forward, burying her face into Beatrice's chest as she wraps her arms around her once more. “I don’t want you to go,” Ava’s voice is muffled by cloth when she speaks, but Beatrice hears her perfectly clear.

“I don’t want to go either,” Beatrice confirms as she tightens her arms around Ava’s shoulders. “It’s only two weeks,” She adds half-heartedly as she kisses the top of Ava’s head.

Ava half-scoffs half-laughs as she turns her head so that her ear is pressed directly over Beatrice's heart, “The longest two weeks of my life.”

Beatrice takes in a deep inhale, breathing in the scent of Ava’s coconut shampoo and attempting to commit it to memory. She regrets not having the forethought to bring something of Ava’s with her. A shirt or a sweater or anything to remind Beatrice of home .

She honestly isn’t sure she’ll be able to sleep at night without having anything with her to remind her of Ava’s presence. At least in her apartment, Ava’s side of the bed still smells like her on the rare occurrence that they aren’t sleeping in the same place.

Now, she’ll have nothing.

Beatrice squeezes her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears she feels forming again. She feels Ava’s arms tighten around her waist once before Ava backs up slightly, immediately tipping her head up to press her lips against Beatrice’s.

The kiss is soft, and Beatrice desperately wishes she could deepen it. But with the bustle of people around them, she settles for the gentle brushes of Ava’s lips on her own.

One of the last kisses they’ll share for 2 weeks.

When they part, Ava reaches her hands up to settle on either side of Beatrice’s face, running her thumbs along her cheeks softly. She pulls Beatrice's head down slightly to place another kiss on her forehead, lingering there for a moment before she backs away again.

“I’m going to miss you,” Beatrice whispers softly as Ava watches her own thumbs in their movements against Beatrice’s skin. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt those words as strongly as she does now.

“I’ll miss you more,” Ava responds with a small smile. And she’s so beautiful. Even in moments like this, eyes red with tears that still brim her eyes. Beatrice feels another one of those overwhelming feelings in her chest.

Despite the surge of emotion that she’s grown used to over the past couple months, Beatrice smiles in return, “I doubt that, darling.”

There’s another moment of silence where they’re just looking at each other, silently accepting the fact that they’ll have to part soon. Then Ava opens her mouth, “I-”

She is cut off by the sudden buzzing of Beatrice’s phone once more, and her words break off into a sigh. Beatrice finds herself wishing, for some reason, that Ava would have been able to finish her sentence.

“You better get going,” Ava says gently, running her hands down from Beatrice's face to her shoulders, then down to her elbows. She squeezes once with her hands, “I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Just two weeks,” Beatrice repeats with a nod before leaning forward for one final kiss, forcing herself to not linger before she breaks off from Ava and backs up towards the queue, unwilling to look away from her girlfriend until she absolutely has to.

Ava smiles that sweet smile at her again and gives her a small wave, which Beatrice returns, before the line dips around a corner, and Ava is hidden from her view.

Beatrice swallows down the surge of emotion that pulls tears back up to her eyes and forces herself forward.

She feels buzzing in her pocket after a minute or two, and takes out her phone to see a series of texts from Ava.

 

Darling <3 : CALL ME WHEN YOU LAND OKAY

Darling <3 : idc what time ill answer <3

Darling <3 : i miss you already baby xx

 

Beatrice smiles as she sends back her reply, before she’s ushered into the security check.

 

Me : Of course, Darling.

Me : I’ll see you soon.

Me : <3

 

-

They’ve been in the air for roughly 10 minutes when Beatrice leans down to pull her carry-on from under the seat in front of her.

Although she promised Ava she would try to relax for a bit before starting her summer assignments, she figures that she really has nothing better to do on the roughly 10 hour long flight to London. She’s sure Ava will understand. Or, at least, forgive her.

However, when she opens up her bag, she’s met immediately with a small slip of paper on top of a bundle of cloth.

Beatrice’s brow furrows immediately. She definitely doesn't remember packing these. And she double, triple, maybe even quadruple checked her packing list last night.

She picks up the folded piece of paper first, opening it to Ava’s familiar handwriting. Beatrice’s confusion turns to relief as she reads the note left for her.

 

Hi Bea!

I thought you might want something to remember me by while you’re off on your grand adventure overseas. I miss you already and you haven’t even left yet! I guess I'll have to settle for cuddling Mac while you're gone. Won’t be the same though :( 

Anyway, I know it’s gonna be hard for you over there but remember I'm in your corner, always. For anything and everything.

See you when you get home!

Love, Ava <3

 

Beatrice rereads the last line about a dozen times, her heart beating out of her chest.

She has tried to avoid the topic in her mind. Has tried to push the memory away to keep her sanity while they made her way to the airport. She tried to act normal and not let all of her worries stack on top of each other.

But as she reads the line “Love, Ava” over and over again, she is thrust back in time. Back to being inside that little laundry room, with Ava in front of her, arms wrapped around each other, eyes somehow sparkling in the dim light.

And she remembers the conviction on Ava’s face. The determination.

And she remembers the light timbre of her voice as she whispered “I love you”.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Beatrice lets out a shaky breath before intaking another, just as unstable.

Ava loves her.

She said it with no confusion or doubt. She said it as if it was inevitable. As if all she was waiting for was the right time.

And the relief on her face hadn’t faded when Beatrice failed to say it back.

Why hadn’t she said it back?

 

Does she love Ava?

She doesn't really know how to tell.

She knows that she’s never quite felt anything like what she feels for Ava.

She knows that Ava is practically all she thinks about when she has a free moment of thought.

She knows that she never wants to wake up without her and hates just the idea of not having her in her life.

She knows that she wants Ava to have everything she could ever want, and she wants to be beside her for all of it.

She knows that she wants Ava to be happy. That she wants to make Ava happy.

She knows that when something good happens to her, the first person she wants to tell is Ava. When she’s upset, the only person she wants to see is Ava.

She knows that Ava knows her better than anyone, even Lilith. Ava listens when she rants about the plot of a book she’s reading. Ava lets her ramble on about her classes even though she admittedly knows nothing about them.

She knows that when she doesn’t really feel like talking, Ava picks up the slack, and Beatrice loves hearing her talk.

She knows that Ava is always there for her without being overbearing. She lets Beatrice come to her.

And she knows that when she thinks of her future, Beatrice sees Ava by her side.

 

God . She loves Ava.

 

And the still overwhelming feeling in her stomach - which she now knows to be love or adoration or fondness or affection - only grows when she reaches into the bag once more and pulls out a delicately folded t-shirt.

Ava’s T-shirt.

She feels the tears raise up in her eyes as she pulls the cloth up to her chest. And when she breathes in, she feels a flood of relief when she smells Ava .

And despite the rush of conflicting, confusing emotions, Beatrice smiles.

She loves Ava.

She knows that now with a somehow tentative assurance.

But before she can do anything about her new revelation, Beatrice has to get through this trip. She has to make it through two weeks with her parents, and then go back home .

Then, when she’s back to their safe, comfortable bubble of life. Then, Beatrice will figure out how to tell her.

Just two weeks.

 

Notes:

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