Chapter Text
— a v a —
Finals Week :
Finals are finally here. Ava was expecting to be a little more nervous about her preparedness, if she’s being honest. But with Beatrice’s rather stern studying regimen and her generous rewards for following said regimen, Ava seems to somehow know the testing material like the back of her hand.
Her World History final goes by without a hitch on Monday, and Tuesday is spent prepping for her next finals while Beatrice is at campus for most of the day.
While Ava’s finals are spaced out - one on Monday, one on Wednesday and the last on Friday - Two of Beatrice’s finals happened to stack up on Tuesday, Calculus 2 and one of her Literature classes.
Ava is sitting on the couch in Beatrice’s apartment putting the finishing touches on her photography final piece when she hears keys jiggling in the lock. Macaroni gives one loud meow as he hops out of his place nestled next to Ava’s leg and trots towards the door.
Ava turns her head and feels a smile pull at her face naturally.
She never thought that she would be someone who enjoyed being so domestic. Someone who waits for their partner to come back home and who is excited to hear about their day. Someone who craves that short greeting kiss.
All of that is something she’s never had until now. And she loves every second of it more than she can even comprehend, much less express.
But when Beatrice walks through the door, her shoulders are slumped slightly and her head is hung a little low. Someone less in tune with everything Beatrice might not notice, but Ava does.
Beatrice meets her gaze and gives her a small smile. It’s half hearted and a little weak, but she does look at least glad to see her girlfriend.
“Hi Bea,” Ava greets softly, closing her laptop and setting it down on the coffee table to rise up to meet her, “How’d it go?”
As she approaches, Ava reaches her arms out in front of her, blatantly offering - or maybe even demanding - a hug.
Beatrice groans as she lets herself fall into Ava’s arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around Ava’s waist. She pushes her forehead into Ava’s shoulder and inhales deeply, and Ava feels her heart squeeze.
She tries to remember the Beatrice that existed before dating Ava. Would she have so willingly given in to this close physical contact? Would she melt into a hug or show her vulnerability in having a bad day? Ava highly doubts it, and that gives her that tightening feeling in her chest that she’s gotten intimately comfortable with for the past couple of months.
Ava runs her hands up and down Beatrice’s back a few times, attempting to be a grounding force. Beatrice’s exhale comes out heavily and with the next breath she admits, “That was exhausting.”
Ava only hums and keeps her hand moving against Beatrice’s spine. She’s learned it's better to let Beatrice come to her first. If she needs a little push, Ava will give her that. But for now, all she has to do is be here. And she’ll always do that happily.
They stand there for a few moments. And with each passing second, Ava feels the tenseness in Beatrice’s shoulders dissipate and hears the way her breathing steadies.
Beatrice breaks away, pulling back slightly, but only far enough to be able to look in her eyes.
“Hi Darling,” she whispers into the limited space in between them. Ava could pass out from the amount of affection that drips off of that sweet pet name. She feels like she’ll never get used to the way one little word makes her feel.
“Hi Baby,” Ava whispers back before she leans forward to give Beatrice a chaste kiss.
Beatrice hums against Ava’s lips and smiles softly when they part again. It's more genuine this time.
“I hate calculus,” Beatrice says in the next breath with a shake of her head.
“At least you’re good at it,” Ava shrugs before walking backwards, pulling Beatrice towards the couch.
“That might be true,” Beatrice admits as they flop onto the cushions, sitting side by side with their shoulders brushing, “but that doesn't make it suck any less.”
Before dating Ava, Beatrice would’ve never said that anything ‘sucked’, much less a college course. It’s one of those silly things that has rubbed off on Beatrice just from being around Ava all the time. And Ava almost hates how much she loves it.
“Don’t you have to take like two more calculus classes for your major?” Ava points out with a bit of humor coloring her tone.
“Ugh,” Beatrice groans as she leans back into her seat, covering her face with her hands, “Don’t remind me.”
“I’m sure you did great, Bea,” Ava comforts as she pulls up her legs to sit cross-legged on the couch. Her knee finds its place resting on Beatrice’s thigh, and Beatrice’s hand falls from her face and lands there naturally.
“What about your other final?” Ava asks with a tilt of her head, “Your literature one.”
Beatrice nods as her thumb makes a circle against the fabric of Ava’s sweatpants, “That one was fine. I might’ve missed one question but the rest were rather simple.”
“Of course they were to you ,” Ava teases before she places a kiss against Beatrice’s cheek, “My little genius.” Her voice is low and filled with praise.
And she feels a rush of pride when Beatrice’s cheeks color red at the tone. Three months and Ava can still make her blush. It’s pretty endearing.
Beatrice clears her throat before she points at Ava’s laptop on the coffee table, “What were you working on?”
“Just my photography final. It’s due tomorrow,” Ava shrugs as if it's no big deal. As if she hasn’t been working her ass off on this piece.
Beatrice hums in acknowledgement before she asks, “Can I see?”
Nerves suddenly shock through Ava.
She’s been dreading those words from Beatrice. Not because she feels like the piece isn’t good. It actually might be her best one to date. Maybe the thing she is the most proud of out of every college project she’s done so far.
But a series of insecurities flow through Ava’s head all at once.
Will Beatrice like it? Will she think it’s too much? Will she be overwhelmed by the sheer emotion that’s hidden behind each of the details? Will she understand just how much Ava is trying to convey?
Ava takes in a deep breath, attempting to push away her anxious thoughts as she nods.
She leans forward to pick up her laptop from the coffee table before setting it on her lap, still closed. She cracks open the screen a bit and then glances at Beatrice once, finding a soft and encouraging smile awaiting her.
Ava exhales through her nose before she opens the screen all the way.
Photoshop opens with her fully edited project front and center. Ava turns the laptop a little so that it faces Beatrice, and then she leans back. Beatrice's hand freezes against Ava’s leg as she takes in the piece.
It’s something of a collage of pictures, edited so that the edges each fade into each other softly. There are various shots of hallways and staircases and bookshelves around campus, all with a sepia-like tone that flows together seamlessly. There are stacks of books in dark study corners. Desks with pale overhead lights. A cup of coffee settled on a table.
But the main focus is the shot nestled in the middle of the frame, surrounded by smudges of gold that separate it from the rest of the piece. A book is covering the bottom half of a face, showing only a pair of bright eyes. Beatrice's eyes. Honey colored eyes accentuated by the hues of the surrounding pictures and piercing through the screen.
It's a picture that was taken months ago, before they were entertaining any of the feelings both of them were having. When they were just lab partners studying at the library together. When they hadn’t even kissed yet.
And somehow, the emotion is still there, captured in that simple impromptu shot. The soft affection. The attraction. The tug .
Ava doesn’t know how neither of them saw it before.
After a moment of heart-attack inducing silence, Ava speaks, “What do you think?” Her voice is quiet, barely audible.
The only reason she knows that Beatrice heard her, is the whisper she receives in return. A soft, reverent whisper, “ Ava .”
Ava swallows at the tone, and can’t help but to ask, “Do you like it?”
Beatrice tears her gaze away from the screen to scan Ava’s face. Ava watches as her eyes travel over every detail with such intensity - such emotion - before they land on her lips.
Then, without warning, Beatrice careens forward, crashing her lips into Ava’s with some sort of fevered vigor. A surprised sound gets caught in Ava’s throat before she reciprocates the kiss, letting her lips move against Beatrice’s naturally.
Ava feels Beatrice press down on the screen of the laptop, shutting it against Ava’s lap as she starts leaning her down into the cushion of the couch, all while continuing to slide her lips across Ava’s desperately.
Ava has barely enough forethought to slide her laptop onto the rug before she lets herself adjust as Beatrice crawls on top of her, pinning her to the couch. Her legs are trapped between Beatrice’s and her hands rise up to settle on either side of Beatrice’s neck.
They stay like that for a few moments, mouths eagerly meeting each other, desperately searching for more.
Beatrice breaks from Ava’s mouth only to start planting hot kisses down her throat. “That piece - ” a kiss. “Is perfect - ” another kiss. “You did so well,” another.
The praise goes directly to Ava’s core, hot and wanting. Beatrice bites at the skin at the base of Ava’s neck lightly before soothing the spot with her tongue.
“Y-yeah?” Ava questions breathlessly as one of her hands travels into Beatrice’s hair
“Mmhm,” Beatrice hums against Ava’s throat before ghosting her lips up the side of her neck until she reaches Ava’s ear. Quietly - and incredibly sensually - she whispers, “And I think you deserve a reward.”
Ava swallows thickly as her fingernails scratch at Beatrice’s scalp. " Yes ,” She feels her hips cant upward, attempting to find any sort of contact.
When one of Beatrice’s hands lands on her hip to keep her down, Ava realizes the situation that they’re in. Sprawled on top of each other, shamelessly making out on the couch where Lilith could easily walk in on them. Getting closer and closer to doing a lot more than just making out.
“What about the - the rules?” Ava questions half-heartedly as Beatrice’s hand starts to slide towards the top hem of Ava’s sweatpants, “Keep it in your pants on the holy ground?”
Beatrice rises slightly so that she’s face to face with Ava once more. Beatrice leans forward and kisses her firmly, letting her tongue slide against Ava’s teeth, before she whispers, practically into Ava’s mouth, “ Fuck Lilith’s rules.”
“Oh” Ava breathes as she feels herself grow wetter as the curse escapes Beatrice’s lips, “That was like… insanely hot.”
Beatrice smirks - fucking smirks - before she leans down to kiss Ava again. This time, she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t pull away.
Ava’s lips meet Beatrice’s in a filthy dance against one another. Teeth enter the mix, nipping and biting against skin. Tongues press and slide against each other, taking as much as they’re giving in return.
It’s so hot so fast, and Ava desperately wishes she were wearing less clothes.
As if on cue, she feels Beatrice’s hand slide up the front of her shirt, fingertips pressing insistently against her skin, sure and determined.
Cool air hits Ava’s stomach as her shirt rides up, bunching up against Beatrice’s arm as her hand finds Ava’s breast. Ava parts from Beatrice’s mouth to gasp as Beatrice traps her nipple between two of her fingers, squeezing with just enough pressure to have Ava pushing her chest forward with want.
Ava’s eyes squeeze shut as she lifts herself off the cushions, attempting to press her entire body against Beatrice. The most she gets is her thigh pushing against Beatrice’s. It’s not anywhere near enough.
She needs more .
“ Fuck ,” Ava whispers as Beatrice’s hand clenches against her breast, practically clawing into the soft skin there, “Please Bea, Please .”
“Please what?” Beatrice murmurs in return, her voice low and quiet and perfect , “What do you want, Ava?”
Ava opens her eyes to meet dark, blown pupils staring down at her. Beatrice’s mouth is slightly agape as she looks down at the mess Ava has likely become.
It makes her feel powerful, how Beatrice looks at her in times like this. It makes her feel wanted, desired, craved . The hungry look in her eyes right now makes Ava want to do nothing but let Beatrice take whatever she wants. Over and over and over again.
Ava bites her lip to muffle the groan she lets out as Beatrice’s hand squeezes once more.
“Fuck me,” Ava gets out desperately, feeling her hips buck up again and find no purchase, “Please, please fuck me.”
Beatrice exhales shakily just before she slides her hand out of Ava’s shirt, planting it beside Ava’s head to keep her balance as she adjusts one of her legs, picking it up and sliding it between Ava’s.
Ava stares between their bodies, watching as Beatrice’s knee nudges Ava’s legs open, guiding her knee to bend as well.
Ava follows the wordless direction with ease, letting Beatrice move her body however she pleases. Beatrice hooks her knee underneath Ava’s as she settles into the couch, effectively pinning Ava’s leg off to the side and giving herself full access.
Ava swallows the moan that threatens to escape at the small show of dominance. At the fact that Beatrice has her pinned underneath her, ready and wanting.
“Please,” Ava whispers again, voice shaky with anticipation and sheer need .
But Beatrice takes her time, slowing down from the rushed neediness that was contained in the last few minutes. Beatrice runs one of her hands down Ava’s body, watching as her fingertips brush against cloth covered nipples and then down to the area of skin still exposed from Ava’s shirt riding up.
Ava bites her lip again, barely stopping the whine that gets caught in her throat.
A look of contemplation crosses Beatrice's face before she tugs at the bottom hem of the shirt, lifting it up Ava’s body. Ava starts to lift her arms to help, but Beatrice shakes her head, “Stay just like that, darling.”
There is a sense of demand in the soft tone she carries, and it makes Ava freeze in place. She nods weakly in compliance.
“ Good girl,” Beatrice praises softly. Another moan attempts to rise up out of Ava. This one escapes in the form of a strained groan. Holy shit . Fuck .
Beatrice continues to pull the shirt up until it reaches Ava’s collarbone, exposing her bare breasts. Beatrice’s next breath is shaky as she leaves the fabric bunched up under Ava’s chin, eyes glued on Ava’s chest.
“Touch me,” Ava practically begs, feeling her body squirm underneath Beatrice, “ Please , baby.”
She can’t handle the way Beatrice is looking at her anymore. She feels like she might combust if she doesn’t have Beatrice’s hands on her right now. She feels like she might -
A sigh of relief spills out of Ava’s lips as Beatrice's hand cups Ava’s breast again, pressing firmly against sensitive skin. Then suddenly, Beatrice’s mouth is against her nipple, sucking slightly.
Ava whimpers as Beatrice tongue makes circles around the sensitive bud, finding the perfect rhythm against her. And when Beatrice bites down, Ava’s hand slaps over her mouth to smother the yelp she lets out.
Beatrice parts from her chest, looking up at Ava through lidded eyes. “You can be as loud as you want, Ava,” Beatrice murmurs before she kisses just next to her nipple, “I want to hear you.” She bites at the flesh there, and this time, Ava doesn’t stifle the moan that escapes.
Ava feels Beatrice smile against her skin before her hand trails down once more, only stopping when it reaches the elastic band of Ava’s sweatpants. Then, she pushes past it, letting her fingers pass through damp curls and land in wet heat.
Ava hums encouragingly as her head tilts back, burying into the throw pillow on the edge of the couch. “ God , yes,” she babbles as Beatrice fingers run through her cunt, gathering an obscene amount of wetness, “ Yes , Bea. Please.”
It's honestly mind-boggling that Beatrice can get her as worked up as she does. Just a few touches and Ava is desperate for her fingers inside of her. She is ready and waiting and wanting .
“ Ava ,” Beatrice breathes just before she pushes two fingers inside of her, achingly slow.
Ava gasps as she bottoms out, Beatrice’s long slender fingers already grazing the perfect spots inside of her. And when Beatrice pulls out again, her pace still slow and steady, Ava’s breath studders.
“You feel - so good - ah ,” Ava is cut off by Beatrice pressing inside of her again, a little faster this time.
“So good,” Beatrice repeats breathlessly, before she leans up to kiss against Ava’s neck, “ You feel so good, Ava.”
And Ava feels like she could come just from hearing Beatrice say those words. Beatrice is usually quiet during sex, mostly following instructions or moaning Ava’s name or whispering quiet pleas. But rarely ever these whispers of praise .
She’s never been too shy about dirty talk outside of the actual act of sex, but when they’re actually touching each other - while Beatrice’s fingers are inside her - Beatrice has always gotten a little more reserved.
So hearing Beatrice say that Ava feels good ? It seems like a big step. That’s not even to mention the fact that it's also incredibly sexy.
“Tell me more,” Ava begs as Beatrice’s fingers slide out of her again, “Tell me what you’re - ah fuck - thinking.”
Beatrice lets out a low sound, maybe a sigh or even a moan, as she finds a rhythm with her fingers, “I want - I want to - “ She cuts herself off with a frustrated sound. Ava can see her jaw clenching and unclenching as she thrusts her fingers in and out of Ava, her hand buried deep into her sweatpants.
Ava would be lying if she said the focused expression on Beatrice’s face and the set of her jaw isn’t making Beatrice look ten times hotter, if that’s even possible. She feels herself clench around Beatrice’s fingers on the next thrust.
“Want to what?” Ava asks with a staggered breath, surprising herself that she’s able to speak in this condition, “What do you want to do to me, baby?”
“I - I want to make you -” Beatrice cuts herself off again, her breathing unsteady as she looks down Ava’s body.
“You want me to come?” Ava finishes with a moan, feeling her back arch underneath Beatrice, “You want to make me - ah - come for you?”
Beatrice nods frantically as her movements speed up, fingers curling inside Ava with each push, “ Yes .”
Ava moans again - louder this time - as her hands move to grip at the back of Beatrice’s neck, nails digging into skin.
“Tell me to - and I - fuck - I will,” Ava manages to mumble between heavy breaths as she feels her body tense up.
Beatrice thrusts impossibly deeper, letting out low moans and quiet groans as she fucks Ava with a passion that could only exist in these moments. Ava feels her tits bounce with each push of fingers inside her and she can feel Beatrice’s gaze burning against her chest.
She wants to tell Beatrice to touch them, or lick them, or bite them, or just anything to give her more.
But just before she opens her mouth, Beatrice’s thumb reaches up to brush against Ava’s clit. And it's exhilarating.
It takes everything Ava has to not let her orgasm overtake her immediately on contact. She holds back, tilting her head back onto the cushions letting out another moan. She bites her lip so hard she worries that she might’ve broken skin.
It’s so good. It’s everything .
Her breaths come out as short sighs of pleasure now, going in time with Beatrice’s fingers sliding in and out of her. The sounds that echo in the wide open space are absolutely filthy, even through layers of clothing.
Then finally - finally - Beatrice breathes, “Come for me, Ava.”
And Ava practically explodes with the wave of pleasure that washes over her. She moans as she feels herself tighten on Beatrice’s fingers once, then again, then again.
She isn’t sure if she’s ever come so hard in her life. She’s pretty sure she saw stars. Her underwear - hell, probably even her actual sweatpants - are soaked.
After a moment, Ava’s orgasm slows to a weak pulse around Bea’s fingers.
Beatrice pulls her hand out of Ava’s underwear delicately, looking down at her with that reverence that makes Ava feel like she’s the only girl that exists in the world, or at least the most important.
“That was - “ Beatrice shakes her head with wide, still dilated eyes
“Good?” Ava suggests, out of breath and chest heaving.
Beatrice shakes her head again, “Perfect.”
Ava smiles weakly as she lets out a chuckle, “Yeah, you’re tellin me.”
She watches as Beatrice’s eyes trail down her body again, still hungry - unsatiated. And it’s kind of cute, the way Beatrice lets out a sigh as she trails one finger down Ava’s stomach. Clearly wanting, but not taking.
It’s sweet how considerate she is, but Ava definitely wants to return the favor as soon as possible.
“Take me to bed, Bea?” Ava requests with that same soft smile as she brushes her fingers down Beatrice’s face.
The lust in Beatrice’s face dims briefly to let affection shine through, “Of course.”
Then she adjusts Ava’s shirt, pushes herself off the couch, and holds out her hand for Ava to take, “Let’s go, darling.”
Ava smiles a little wider as she takes her hand and lets Beatrice pull her up.
Yeah.
She loves this girl.
— b e a t r i c e —
Friday after finals :
“You’ll be able to come to the auditions, right?” Ava asks across the room as she closes the refrigerator door, walking away with a cold slice of pizza that she immediately brings to her mouth. She hops up onto the kitchen counter, which Beatrice has scolded her for an unreasonable amount of times to no avail.
Instead of reprimanding her, Beatrice only nods as she leans back into the couch, holding her place in her book with her thumb, “Just barely. I have to leave right after but as long as they - “
“You don’t have to come,” Ava interrupts as she chews, “If it’s too close.” She shrugs as if she doesn’t mind, but Beatrice can see the way her shoulders deflate slightly at just the idea of her not being there. Ava kicks her feet idly as she looks down at her pizza.
Her excitement has been obvious in the giddy way she’s talked about these auditions for the past few weeks, all smiley and practically vibrating with nervous energy. Beatrice wouldn’t miss this moment for the world, especially seeing as it’ll be the last time she'll be able to see Ava before her two weeks back home.
Beatrice smiles softly - fondly - before she slides her bookmark in between the pages of her book and sets it on the coffee table. She stands up and takes the few steps to cross into the kitchen.
Ava does this thing (which Beatrice is definitely guilty of as well) where she feels like some sort of burden when anyone goes out of their way for her. She doesn’t want to impede on Beatrice’s time or mess up her schedule in any way. No matter that Beatrice has been planning out the details surrounding this trip for the last two weeks. And no matter that Beatrice would do anything to make Ava happy.
Ava feels like she has to give Beatrice an out. Some reason to say “Oh, you’re right, it’ll cut too close” or “I actually don’t really care to see the auditions at all”. As if Beatrice hasn’t considered dropping this whole trip home completely just so she wouldn’t have to be separated from Ava for two whole weeks.
It’s a ridiculous thought really, that Beatrice would ever miss something this important to Ava. A thought that she has to rectify immediately.
As Beatrice reaches Ava, she brackets her in with her arms, letting her wrists brush against the outside of her legs as she leans forward into Ava’s space. Ava, to her credit, doesn't seem too affected by the motion, simply swallowing her current bite and lowering her pizza slice to her lap.
“I’ll be there, Ava,” Beatrice confirms with a short nod before she leans forward to kiss her cheek, “What kind of roadie would I be if I wasn’t?”
Ava smiles right before she snorts, short and cute, “You’re a terrible roadie.”
Beatrice gasps in mock offense, her jaw dropping, “You don’t mean that.”
“You’ve never once helped us with equipment,” Ava points out with a raise of her eyebrow, “I’m pretty sure that's like the main job of a roadie.”
“Well, I just don’t want to break anything,” Beatrice counters with a weak shrug of her shoulders, “I could be a roadie if I wanted to.”
“ Ohhh , mhm,” Ava nods seriously, brow furrowed, before she breaks out into a smile and leans forward to place a kiss against Beatrice’s lips. Beatrice smiles into the kiss as well, their teeth bumping against each other.
Beatrice pulls back and repeats softly, “I’ll be there.”
Ava nods, a small smile still playing across her mouth, “Okay.” Then suddenly, she pushes against Beatrice’s chest with one hand, “Now let me eat my pizza in peace, roadie .”
Beatrice rolls her eyes as she backs away, heading back towards her book with her hands held up slightly, as if in surrender.
-
That night is filled with clipped moans and broken sighs.
It’s the last night they’ll have together for two whole weeks. And while her head is settled between Ava’s thighs, both of them desperate and needy, Beatrice realizes how much she’s going to miss this girl.
This girl who has completely flipped her world upside down and inside out in the matter of months.
This girl that makes her consider crazy things like taking breaks from studying during finals week. Like taking in a cat off the street. Like sitting on the kitchen counter and eating cold pizza. Like telling her parents “no”.
But instead of lingering on the impending feeling of doom that is visiting her parents, Beatrice focuses on the feeling of Ava’s thighs pressed against her ears and the way Ava’s back arches just slightly at a simple touch and the filthy sounds that escape Ava’s mouth with each flick of Beatrice’s tongue.
That is much easier to think about than anything else.
-
Saturday :
Band Auditions are underway.
Six of them sit side by side on the two couches in the corner of Mary’s Garage. In order, Michael, Mary, Ava and Camila all manage to somehow fit on one couch with a clipboard in each of their hands. Mary has complained multiple times about the lack of space, but each time Ava has mentioned some sort of “band solidarity”.
Lilith and Beatrice share the other couch, a truly outrageous amount of space left between them, which Lilith fills by pulling one of her legs up onto the cushion. Beatrice tries to ignore the almost menacing glares Mary sends their way.
There have been 7 different people who have come through in the past hour and a half, each prepared with a different song and each hopeful in their chances of getting to play with Hope at Last Oath. Throughout each audition, Beatrice’s gaze has drifted between the auditioner and her girlfriend, like some sort of magnet that always seems to pull her eyes back to Ava.
Beatrice has been keeping tabs on the subtle changes in her facial expressions. She can tell just by a twitch of Ava’s mouth or a raise of Ava’s eyebrow what she likes and what she doesn’t. So far, Beatrice knows that no one has particularly stood out.
“Only 2 left,” Michael points out as he looks down at his clipboard, flipping through a couple of pages.
“What do we think?” Camila asks the group, leaning forward to be able to look at each of her bandmates.
Mary shrugs noncommittally and Ava sighs, “No one stands out so far.” If the mood wasn’t so glum, Beatrice would smile at how easily she can read her girlfriend. Instead, she shifts to place her elbow on the arm of the couch, settling her head into her hand.
Ava lifts her head up from her clipboard and finds Beatrice’s eyes automatically, surprising Beatrice when her scrunched up look of concentration instantly fades into a soft smile. Beatrice lets herself smile in return then, attempting any form of comfort she might be able to give.
She knows how much this band means to Ava. Finding the perfect replacement for Michael is imperative. And if just one shared look can ease the tension building in Ava’s shoulders, Beatrice will oblige any day of the week.
“Maybe the next one will be good,” Lilith pipes up with a shrug, her own attempt at comfort. With the way Camila turns to look at her fondly, it might’ve somehow worked just a bit.
“Lilith’s right,” Camila says with a nod before turning back to her band, “Let’s get the next one in here. Maybe they’ll be the one.”
Mary nods, cups her hands around her mouth, then yells, “NEXT!”
A man opens the door to the garage, clutching a pitch black guitar in one hand as he enters the room. He has a wavy mop of hair on the top of his head and a neat mustache. “Hallo, I’m Hans,” He carries a thick German accent when he speaks and some sort of boyish charm when he smiles.
Ava brightens suddenly, “Hallo! Bereit zu spielen? ( hi! ready to play? )” Some uneasy feeling fills Beatrice’s stomach when Hans’ grin widens. Some seering, angry feeling. Something that feels a lot like jealousy.
Which is ridiculous. Ava is just excited about sharing a language with someone else. She just sees potential in this auditioner. Right? It has nothing to do with him being conventionally attractive with charisma and general sex appeal. Absolutely nothing.
Right?
Her thoughts are interrupted by the start of Hans’ audition song.
~ Now Playing : Sugar, We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy ~
The song opens with strong, powerful chords, filling the room with sound. His fingers move expertly on the strings, hitting each beat with precision.
Beatrice doesn't know much about this kind of music, it's definitely more of Ava’s wheelhouse, but she can at least tell one thing : this guy is very good.
It’s especially obvious when her eyes flick away from Hans to settle on the band or - more accurately - Ava.
Her lips are still pulled into a smile, eyes twinkling with excitement. She’s leaned forward on the couch, her foot tapping along with the beat and her head moving in tandem. Camila has a similar look on her face. Mary is still stoic as ever, but her lips are turned up ever so slightly as she scribbles a few things on her clipboard. Michael’s brow is furrowed as he nods along, leaned back with one of his hands tapping against his leg.
They all like him. It’s the best reaction they’ve had over the 8 people that have come in.
Beatrice should be happy about it. She should want this guy to be part of the band. He obviously has the skills for it. And the stage presence. He’s headbanging and dancing around to the music, as if he has a full band playing behind him.
So why does she feel some sort of tightness in the pit of her stomach as her eyes find Ava’s smile again? The smile that is usually directed towards her. It’s not because she’s jealous.
Right ?
Goddammit.
Beatrice’s jaw clenches as she forces herself to watch the performance again. She feels tense, unreasonably so, but attempts to wipe the frown off her face. She tries to nod along to the music, tap her foot, or anything , but she is only really able to lean back in her seat, pulling up her arms to cross over her chest.
Ava glances over at her briefly, still bright and excited. However, when her gaze meets Beatrice, she dims a bit. Anyone else wouldn’t notice the slight change in her demeanor. Anyone other than Beatrice.
Ava tilts her head in a silent question, eyebrows furrowing slightly. Beatrice shakes her head in return, forcing a small smile. Ava’s confusion deepens before she hesitatingly turns back to Hans.
A few minutes later, the song is over. Hans chuckles as he bows slightly when the room claps for him - mostly enthusiastically.
“Danke,” Hans pushes the hair out of his face as he leans back up, a little out of breath from the intensity of his playing.
“Thank you ,” Ava responds, her grin back on in full swing, “That was great! We’ll let you know if you’re in in a few days.”
Hans nods and throws his hand up in a wave before he makes his way out the garage again.
When the door shuts behind him, Camila practically screeches, “That was great , right?”
Mary nods firmly, circling something on her clipboard before looking up, “He’s definitely the best so far.”
“And he’s so hot,” Camila adds as she bounces in her seat, “He’ll do great on stage. The girls will love him, right Aves?”
“Right,” Ava nods with a tentative smile before her eyes meet Beatrice’s again. She turns when Michael speaks up, “I definitely think he’d be a solid choice. He obviously knows what he’s doing.”
“There’s one more to go, just to make sure,” Mary points out as she looks down at her clipboard again, “Should we call them in?”
Camila and Michael nod, but Ava clears her throat, “Actually, could we take 5 real quick?” Beatrice’s eyes widen as Ava looks straight at her, brow furrowed once more.
Camila glances between them curiously as Mary looks down at her watch before shrugging, “Yeah, sure. Five minutes, Silva. No more.”
Ava nods once before she marches over to Beatrice and grabs onto her arm, tugging her out of her seat and towards the door. Beatrice is dragged after her, not really sure how to react to being pulled out of the room like she’s in some sort of trouble.
Ava pulls her into the closest room as they find their way into Mary’s house. Ava flicks on the light to reveal a fully stocked laundry room - and a rather intense look on Ava’s face. Maybe she is in some sort of trouble.
“What’s going on with you?” Ava asks as she crosses her arms in front of her chest.
“I don’t know what you’re talking abou-” Beatrice starts.
“I’m talking about you being all broody ,” Ava cuts her off, almost accusatory, “You’re acting like someone stole your candy bar and I have no idea why.”
Beatrice scoffs, “I am not.” The childishness in her tone makes her cringe and her ears turn red as she fights the urge to roll her eyes.
Seemingly uncaring about how childish it sounds, Ava snaps back, ”Are too. You were totally fine until Hans-”
She cuts herself off and Beatrice can practically hear the gears turning in Ava’s head. Oh god.
“Wait a minute. Are you…” A playful smirk finds its way onto Ava’s face, “You’re jealous.” Any irritation is gone from Ava’s demeanor instantly, replaced with some sort of cocky confidence. Beatrice would be lying if she said she didn’t find it annoyingly attractive.
“What? That’s - That’s absurd!” Beatrice defends, letting the eye roll come out as she leans back against the dryer.
“You are! Oh my god,” Ava sounds entirely too excited about this. Which is - again - annoying. Beatrice groans and covers her hands with her face.
“Bea, baby,” Ava coos with a chuckle as she steps directly in front of Beatrice, prying her hands away from her face, “I only want you, okay?”
Ava cups Beatrice’s face in her own hands, thumbs brushing against her cheeks softly. It makes Beatrice melt, but a small frown pulls onto her mouth.
“He’s very attractive,” she says softly, shrugging her shoulders weakly.
“Do I have something to worry about?” Ava asks with a raise of her eyebrows, her lips still pulled into a playful smile.
“ Ava ,” Beatrice groans as she rolls her eyes again. Ava laughs and wraps her arms around Beatrice’s neck just as Beatrice wraps her own around Ava’s waist.
“Like I said, I only want you,” Ava whispers before she pulls Beatrice in for a kiss. It’s slow, gentle, calming brushes of their lips against each other’s. And Beatrice feels it wash over her in a comforting wave.
Ava is the first to pull away, bumping their foreheads together with a soft sigh. It’s quiet for a few moments, just the sound of their breathing in the tiny laundry room.
Ava pulls back farther, her hands moving to settle against Beatrice's neck as she looks back and forth between Beatrice’s eyes. She seems determined, focused - on what, Beatrice isn’t sure. She opens her mouth as if to say something, then closes it again, brow scrunched lightly.
Beatrice smiles softly in return, moving forward to place a small kiss on the tip of Ava’s nose in an attempt to sooth whatever sudden emotion has bubbled up inside her. Ava visibly relaxes as she takes in a deep breath.
Beatrice kind of wishes she could stay here forever in their little bubble. She wouldn’t have to leave. She wouldn’t have to go to her parents. She wouldn’t have to figure out how to tell Ava -
“I love you,” Ava breathes. And Beatrice immediately tenses.
— a v a —
Okay, well.
She wasn’t exactly expecting to say it then, but Ava feels an immediate relief as she says those 3 simple words.
“I love you.”
No matter the circumstances, this is what she wanted, wasn’t it? She wanted it to come at the right time. She wanted it to feel natural, unforced. She didn’t want Beatrice to feel pressured.
However, by the way that Beatrice freezes immediately underneath her touch, Ava can tell that she isn’t ready. This reaction was something she had been expecting. It’s the whole reason she was trying to wait for Beatrice to say it first.
But as the weeks passed, it was becoming clearer and clearer that she needed a little… push.
“I love you.”
Ava smiles gently, giggling at the slightly overwhelmed look on Beatrice’s face, eyes wide and searching.
“It’s okay,” Ava reassures her softly, her hand scratching at the base of Beatrice’s neck, “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.”
She leans forward to place a kiss on Beatrice’s slightly ajar mouth. Ava giggles again, feeling a bit giddy if she’s being honest, “Now stop being all moody, okay?”
Beatrice blinks a few times, before she finally closes her mouth, her jaw clenching and unclenching rhythmically. Ava shakes her head with a fond smile, “Come on.” She drags her hands down Beatrice’s arms to pull her toward the door.
Ava figures she should be a little more upset that Beatrice didn’t say ‘I love you’ back. She should feel insecure or scared. She should be worried about whether Beatrice does love her or not.
But she’s had time to process how this would all go down. A lot of time. 3 months of time.
And she’s happy to give Beatrice as much more time as she needs.
They don’t need those three words. They show their care for each other in everything they do.
Beatrice shows Ava she loves her when she smiles at her over open books, or when they're lying side by side and she reaches up to brush her knuckles against Ava’s cheek, or when she recites Ava’s order perfectly at the drive-thru without having to ask, or when she makes gentle circles with her thumb against Ava’s thigh when she’s driving.
And now that she’s released herself of the pressure of being the first one to say it, Ava realizes that they haven’t needed to share those words to feel the meaning behind them.
So she drags Beatrice back into the garage with a blinding smile on her face. Beatrice, on the other hand, looks a bit more shell shocked than anything else, eyes wide, cheeks and ears a deep shade of red.
Mary narrows her eyes at them as Ava practically skips towards the couches, dropping Beatrice on her own before finding her own seat.
Mary’s voice is more exasperated than anything else when she speaks, “Ava Silva, if you fucked in my house I swear-”
“Mary!” Ava cuts her off with an exaggerated gasp, putting a hand up to her chest in mock offense, “You wound me!”
Beatrice only shrinks into the couch, her blush somehow intensifying with the assumption. Ava can’t help but find it achingly cute.
“Let’s get the next one in here,” Camila pipes up, with an almost conspiratory look at Ava.
Mary shakes her head but cups her hands around her mouth again and calls out, “NEXT!”
A few moments later, a girl walks in with a shy smile on her face. Her curly hair is tied back in a loose ponytail and falls out in a few face-framing waves at the front. Ava’s eyes narrow slightly as she realizes that she looks rather familiar.
When Michael visibly brightens, the memory clicks into place.
It’s been so long, but it’s a night Ava couldn’t forget the details of even if she tried. It’s permanently marked on her brain.
The night of the party where Ava asked Beatrice to be her girlfriend. Or - where they mutually agreed to be girlfriends (which is a point they’ve bickered over more than once).
Anyway, this girl is the same one that Michael had his arm draped over on the couch at that fateful party all those months ago. Ava glances at Michael then back to the girl.
Has Michael been hiding his own relationship this whole time too? Ava starts to get offended, but the girl sends a bashful, innocent wave in his direction, which he returns with a blush on his cheeks, and Ava decides that she can let it go.
As long as her brother is happy, with or without a girlfriend, so is she.
Although he will be getting a stern talking-to after this audition.
The girl clears her throat before she speaks, “Hi, I’m Yasmine Amunet. Thank you guys for having me.” She has a soft, sweet smile. A little shy, but they can work around that if need be.
“Welcome!” Camila greets happily, “Go ahead whenever you’re ready.”
The girl - Yasmine - nods and looks down at her turquoise guitar. Ava watches as her shoulders lift and fall in a deep breath before she starts playing.
~ Now Playing : All I Wanted by Paramore ~
The song starts with some impressive fingerwork, obviously comfortable with placement and picking. Which is exactly what Ava has been keeping a close eye on in each of these auditions.
They need someone who doesn’t just play the guitar, but who plays the music and knows how to flow through the sound, rather than just play a few notes.
As the verse starts, Yasmine surprises them by doing something that none of the other auditioners have even tried. She sings.
“I think I'll pace my apartment a few times”
Ava’s eyes widen and she immediately turns to her bandmates, a smile quickly rising onto her face. They wear similar expressions, excitement coming off of them in waves.
This is exactly what they’ve wanted.
Ava turns back to Yasmine, physically stopping herself from bouncing in her seat.
“And fall asleep on the couch”
Of course, they don't need to have someone that can sing. Camila does well on the background vocals when needed. But with a whole other voice on stage with them, their sound could be revolutionized.
“And wake up early to black-and-white reruns”
This opens so many gates for them. Ava wonders if she can harmonize. It doesn't matter, they can teach her if they need to.
Yasmine still moves her fingers perfectly with each strum of her guitar, hitting each note with flawless execution.
“That escaped from my mouth”
Ava takes in a steadying breath before the chorus starts. This is the deciding moment. The strong power chords on top of an even more challenging vocal line.
“All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you”
She’s in.
100%.
As the next verse picks up, Ava turns to the group again, a silent question hidden in the way she raises her eyebrows at them. Mary gives a curt nod, Camila nods more furiously, Michael’s smile only brightens.
Perfect.
Ava looks down to draw several exaggerated circles around Yasmine’s name on the front page of her clipboard. She even goes so far as to cross out every other name on the list.
When she looks back up, her eyes pull to Beatrice - as they often do - just as the chorus of the song starts again.
“All I wanted was you”
Beatrice is already looking at her, her eyebrows pulled together slightly.
Ava wishes she could tell what is going on inside her head.
“All I wanted was you”
Ava can’t help but smile gently at Beatrice. At her Beatrice.
Beatrice’s features soften before she hesitantly returns the smile.
“All I wanted was you”
Maybe Beatrice isn’t ready just yet.
But she will be.
One day.
“All I wanted was you”
And right now, this is enough.
— b e a t r i c e —
Beatrice takes in a deep breath as she reaches the line for TSA, Ava’s hand clutched tightly within her own. She freezes in place, jaw clenching a few times as she stares at the influx of people all entering deeper into the airport.
She knows that this is it.
She’s been dreading this moment (and the trip following) for the past two weeks. This is where she leaves Ava and goes back to her parents’ house where she’ll spend her time being utterly miserable and generally degraded.
She’ll have to be around her horribly homophobic family. And that’s not even to mention that her sister’s husband will be there - as if she won’t already be berated enough with comments about how she needs to “settle down”.
And she won’t have Ava there with her to make her feel better. She won’t be there to smile at her or make her laugh or hold her hand or kiss her cheek or -
Beatrice feels a tug on her hand as Ava pulls them off to the side, a slight frown pulling on her lips as she searches Beatrice’s face.
“You okay, Bea?” Ava asks gently, rubbing her thumb across the back of Beatrice's hand comfortingly.
Beatrice’s eyes well up immediately at the question. She adjusts the strap of her carry-on bag and looks up at the ceiling with another heavy breath in an attempt to stop any tears from flowing down her face.
“ Oh , baby,” Ava coos before she pulls Beatrice in for a tight hug. Beatrice melts into the embrace, letting her head fall onto Ava’s shoulder weakly, and letting a few of those tears fall against Ava’s shirt.
“You could just stay here,” Ava whispers against the top of Beatrice's head before she places a soft kiss there, “We could go back home and pretend this never even happened.”
And as much as that thought appeals to Beatrice, she knows she has to do this. Besides the fact that her parents would never let her hear the end of it, she needs to show them that she is happy as she is now, without any of their meddling.
She needs to show them that she doesn’t need to change herself just to appeal to their standards.
She shakes her head lightly, still pressing her face into Ava’s shoulder, “I can’t.” Her voice is weak. It sounds pitiful to her own ears, but she’s learned to not care so much about that around Ava.
Ava sighs, maybe a little dejectedly, before she suggests quietly - gently, as if just saying it outloud will scare Beatrice off - “I could go with you.”
Beatrice lifts her head up, looking between Ava’s eyes before she exhales and shakes her head again, “I can’t let you do that, Ava.”
Ava reaches up to wipe a stray tear away from under Beatrice’s eye, “Maybe they’ll love me. I can - “
“I don’t want you to have to deal with them,” Beatrice interrupts, “As much as I want to have you with me, I don’t want to expose you to them. They would treat you horribly, I know it. And I just can’t let them do that to you. I won’t.”
Her voice is firm. Final. And she hopes that it hits the right mark.
With the way that Ava’s shoulders slump slightly, Beatrice would guess that it does.
Ava’s voice is soft when she speaks again, “I just hate seeing you like this. And I hate knowing you’re going to be over there feeling like this the whole time and I won’t be able to help.” Beatrice sees tears forming in her eyes now too, threatening to fall.
“You always help, darling,” Beatrice says with a barely there smile, “Just knowing I get to come back to you helps.”
Ava groans and wipes at her eye as one of the tears falls down. “But I won't be there,” Ava whines, as if Beatrice needed the clarification.
“I’ll be okay,” Beatrice says, although she doesn’t really know if she believes that herself.
A sudden buzzing in Beatrice's pocket pulls her out of their little bubble. She reaches for her phone and is met with a bold text alarm labeled ‘SECURITY’. She sighs as she taps the snooze button and looks back up to see Ava’s watery eyes once more.
Ava lurches forward, burying her face into Beatrice's chest as she wraps her arms around her once more. “I don’t want you to go,” Ava’s voice is muffled by cloth when she speaks, but Beatrice hears her perfectly clear.
“I don’t want to go either,” Beatrice confirms as she tightens her arms around Ava’s shoulders. “It’s only two weeks,” She adds half-heartedly as she kisses the top of Ava’s head.
Ava half-scoffs half-laughs as she turns her head so that her ear is pressed directly over Beatrice's heart, “The longest two weeks of my life.”
Beatrice takes in a deep inhale, breathing in the scent of Ava’s coconut shampoo and attempting to commit it to memory. She regrets not having the forethought to bring something of Ava’s with her. A shirt or a sweater or anything to remind Beatrice of home .
She honestly isn’t sure she’ll be able to sleep at night without having anything with her to remind her of Ava’s presence. At least in her apartment, Ava’s side of the bed still smells like her on the rare occurrence that they aren’t sleeping in the same place.
Now, she’ll have nothing.
Beatrice squeezes her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears she feels forming again. She feels Ava’s arms tighten around her waist once before Ava backs up slightly, immediately tipping her head up to press her lips against Beatrice’s.
The kiss is soft, and Beatrice desperately wishes she could deepen it. But with the bustle of people around them, she settles for the gentle brushes of Ava’s lips on her own.
One of the last kisses they’ll share for 2 weeks.
When they part, Ava reaches her hands up to settle on either side of Beatrice’s face, running her thumbs along her cheeks softly. She pulls Beatrice's head down slightly to place another kiss on her forehead, lingering there for a moment before she backs away again.
“I’m going to miss you,” Beatrice whispers softly as Ava watches her own thumbs in their movements against Beatrice’s skin. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt those words as strongly as she does now.
“I’ll miss you more,” Ava responds with a small smile. And she’s so beautiful. Even in moments like this, eyes red with tears that still brim her eyes. Beatrice feels another one of those overwhelming feelings in her chest.
Despite the surge of emotion that she’s grown used to over the past couple months, Beatrice smiles in return, “I doubt that, darling.”
There’s another moment of silence where they’re just looking at each other, silently accepting the fact that they’ll have to part soon. Then Ava opens her mouth, “I-”
She is cut off by the sudden buzzing of Beatrice’s phone once more, and her words break off into a sigh. Beatrice finds herself wishing, for some reason, that Ava would have been able to finish her sentence.
“You better get going,” Ava says gently, running her hands down from Beatrice's face to her shoulders, then down to her elbows. She squeezes once with her hands, “I’ll be here when you get back.”
“Just two weeks,” Beatrice repeats with a nod before leaning forward for one final kiss, forcing herself to not linger before she breaks off from Ava and backs up towards the queue, unwilling to look away from her girlfriend until she absolutely has to.
Ava smiles that sweet smile at her again and gives her a small wave, which Beatrice returns, before the line dips around a corner, and Ava is hidden from her view.
Beatrice swallows down the surge of emotion that pulls tears back up to her eyes and forces herself forward.
She feels buzzing in her pocket after a minute or two, and takes out her phone to see a series of texts from Ava.
Darling <3 : CALL ME WHEN YOU LAND OKAY
Darling <3 : idc what time ill answer <3
Darling <3 : i miss you already baby xx
Beatrice smiles as she sends back her reply, before she’s ushered into the security check.
Me : Of course, Darling.
Me : I’ll see you soon.
Me : <3
-
They’ve been in the air for roughly 10 minutes when Beatrice leans down to pull her carry-on from under the seat in front of her.
Although she promised Ava she would try to relax for a bit before starting her summer assignments, she figures that she really has nothing better to do on the roughly 10 hour long flight to London. She’s sure Ava will understand. Or, at least, forgive her.
However, when she opens up her bag, she’s met immediately with a small slip of paper on top of a bundle of cloth.
Beatrice’s brow furrows immediately. She definitely doesn't remember packing these. And she double, triple, maybe even quadruple checked her packing list last night.
She picks up the folded piece of paper first, opening it to Ava’s familiar handwriting. Beatrice’s confusion turns to relief as she reads the note left for her.
Hi Bea!
I thought you might want something to remember me by while you’re off on your grand adventure overseas. I miss you already and you haven’t even left yet! I guess I'll have to settle for cuddling Mac while you're gone. Won’t be the same though :(
Anyway, I know it’s gonna be hard for you over there but remember I'm in your corner, always. For anything and everything.
See you when you get home!
Love, Ava <3
Beatrice rereads the last line about a dozen times, her heart beating out of her chest.
She has tried to avoid the topic in her mind. Has tried to push the memory away to keep her sanity while they made her way to the airport. She tried to act normal and not let all of her worries stack on top of each other.
But as she reads the line “Love, Ava” over and over again, she is thrust back in time. Back to being inside that little laundry room, with Ava in front of her, arms wrapped around each other, eyes somehow sparkling in the dim light.
And she remembers the conviction on Ava’s face. The determination.
And she remembers the light timbre of her voice as she whispered “I love you”.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Beatrice lets out a shaky breath before intaking another, just as unstable.
Ava loves her.
She said it with no confusion or doubt. She said it as if it was inevitable. As if all she was waiting for was the right time.
And the relief on her face hadn’t faded when Beatrice failed to say it back.
Why hadn’t she said it back?
Does she love Ava?
She doesn't really know how to tell.
She knows that she’s never quite felt anything like what she feels for Ava.
She knows that Ava is practically all she thinks about when she has a free moment of thought.
She knows that she never wants to wake up without her and hates just the idea of not having her in her life.
She knows that she wants Ava to have everything she could ever want, and she wants to be beside her for all of it.
She knows that she wants Ava to be happy. That she wants to make Ava happy.
She knows that when something good happens to her, the first person she wants to tell is Ava. When she’s upset, the only person she wants to see is Ava.
She knows that Ava knows her better than anyone, even Lilith. Ava listens when she rants about the plot of a book she’s reading. Ava lets her ramble on about her classes even though she admittedly knows nothing about them.
She knows that when she doesn’t really feel like talking, Ava picks up the slack, and Beatrice loves hearing her talk.
She knows that Ava is always there for her without being overbearing. She lets Beatrice come to her.
And she knows that when she thinks of her future, Beatrice sees Ava by her side.
God . She loves Ava.
And the still overwhelming feeling in her stomach - which she now knows to be love or adoration or fondness or affection - only grows when she reaches into the bag once more and pulls out a delicately folded t-shirt.
Ava’s T-shirt.
She feels the tears raise up in her eyes as she pulls the cloth up to her chest. And when she breathes in, she feels a flood of relief when she smells Ava .
And despite the rush of conflicting, confusing emotions, Beatrice smiles.
She loves Ava.
She knows that now with a somehow tentative assurance.
But before she can do anything about her new revelation, Beatrice has to get through this trip. She has to make it through two weeks with her parents, and then go back home .
Then, when she’s back to their safe, comfortable bubble of life. Then, Beatrice will figure out how to tell her.
Just two weeks.