Chapter Text
Jennie woke up to the smell of fresh coffee.
It alarmed her at first, in her half-asleep state. The night before, she recalled falling asleep in an empty house since Lisa had refused to sleep over after dinner.
So, the fact that there was coffee being made and Jennie wasn’t the one making it was rather concerning.
After getting her fluffy slippers and robe on (she certainly wasn’t going to confront an intruder in her shorts and tank top), Jennie cautiously approached her closed door. Pressing her ear on it, she momentarily hoped that the smell and sounds coming from the kitchen were purely from her imagination. But once she confirmed that they were very real, she was left with no choice but to grab her stainless-steel water bottle and hold it like a baseball bat.
Opening the door as slowly and quietly as possible, Jennie finally got a view of the empty living room. While it was mostly still dark, a sliver of light could be seen coming from the kitchen.
As Jennie decided to step out of the safety of her bedroom, she silently chastised herself. From all the horror movies she had watched, she should have known that investigating alone was a move made by dumbasses who had no common sense.
Jennie did not want to be a dumbass.
The closer she moved to the kitchen, the firmer was her hold on her weapon of choice.
Just as she made it to the kitchen entrance, two curious pairs of eyes met hers, and the arm holding up the bottle fell dramatically to her side.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she complained, placing her free hand on her waist in a disappointed stance. “I thought I was gonna get murdered. And robbed.”
Chaeyoung only smiled back. Leaving her uncooked eggs on the stove, she joyfully ran towards Jennie, wrapping her arms around her in a tight hug.
“I missed you!”
Jennie weakly returned the embrace, still recovering from her unnecessary fright. “Yeah, yeah. Welcome back. How was your flight?”
“It was great!” Chaeyoung responded cheerfully.
Definitely not the tone Jennie would have had if she had to catch a flight past midnight. She wanted to question the sudden good mood, but something was telling her it had everything to do with the guest Chaeyoung brought home.
“Are we gonna address the elephant in the room or?”
“Who are you calling an elephant?”
Jennie expected a snappy response, but Jisoo also appeared to be completely at peace. Unlike the previous morning when they had an awkward breakfast together, Jisoo was definitely glowing in that moment.
“Bold of you to make demands when you ditched me at the airport,” Chaeyoung added with a slight pout.
“I didn’t ditch you,” Jennie clarified. “I got you a chauffeur.”
Jisoo was about to protest once again, but Jennie was quicker to remove herself from the conversation. It was way too early for her brain to keep up, and she didn’t want to start her morning by bickering with Kim Jisoo. Again.
“Anyways. I’m gonna go ahead and use the bathroom first. Please make extra eggs for me.” She started backtracking her steps, shooting Chaeyoung a pointed look to remind her that their discussion was far from over. “And then I’ll leave for work. And then I’ll come back. And we can talk.”
When she got out of the shower, Jennie couldn’t suppress the smile on her lips as she saw the ‘Good morning’ text from Lisa.
It was embarrassing, really.
Jennie’s day at work went on as usual. The same meetings, the same project plans, the same deadlines. But during her breaks, Jennie was constantly on her phone. She had the urge to open her messages every few minutes, which was highly unprofessional. It almost felt like being back in high school, trying to hide her texting under the desk with the constant fear of being caught.
It wasn’t as though they had never texted before. If Lisa’s messages had remained the way they normally were, Jennie wouldn’t have batted an eye. But somehow, it was the first time Jennie truly felt like her conversations with Lisa were blurring into flirting territory.
For instance, Jennie had complained that her clothes made her feel weirdly itchy today. It was something she would have texted any friend in mindless discussion. But when Lisa asked her ‘what are you wearing?’, Jennie had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning like a fool.
Knowing Lisa, the message was likely not meant to be suggestive in any way, but who could blame Jennie for having a little fun with it? She had been on her way to the bathroom then, and seeing the opportunity, she fixed her hair and retouched her makeup a little. Then, once she was satisfied with her pose, she snapped a quick mirror selfie and sent it to Lisa.
Unlike their earlier messages, Jennie would definitely not send that kind of photo to a friend so casually.
Lisa continued to type for a few moments, while Jennie walked back to her office as if nothing happened.
When she sat back down at her desk, she saw Lisa’s reply.
Lisa
you look really pretty
13:45
Lisa
you always do
13:45
Jennie really did not want to turn a very simple compliment into a big deal, but the way she felt herself blush and squeal while looking down at her phone was proving her otherwise.
It was getting harder to navigate her growing feelings without knowing where the line was between friendship and more. Jennie had no way to read Lisa’s mind, so she couldn't confidently tell whether her advances were seen as such.
In a moment of bravery, she typed a quick message to tell Lisa it wasn’t fair that she was the only one exposing her outfit of the day. The tone of her request wasn’t exactly flirtatious, but Jennie supposed it didn’t harm anyone to take one step at a time.
Lisa’s own photo followed soon after, not in a mirror but rather a regular selfie. Unlike Jennie’s sultry pose, Lisa simply held up a peace sign and smiled in her work cap, polo shirt, and apron.
As she pressed save photo, Jennie tried to convince herself that Lisa would have done the same with her picture.
----
Upon returning to Chaeyoung’s apartment, Jennie immediately noticed the soft music playing from the TV, although the sounds did not manage to completely hide Chaeyoung’s soft giggles. Jennie casually stepped into the living room with an inquisitive look, spotting her friend lying lazily on the sofa. One hand was pressing her phone to her ear, while the other mindlessly played with the drawstrings of her hoodie.
Jennie almost rolled her eyes at the overly sentimental tone of her voice, though not maliciously. Remembering the days she’d come home to Chaeyoung’s red-rimmed eyes, seeing her best friend’s genuine smile was extremely precious, regardless of who was causing it.
Chaeyoung caught her gaze and gave her a small nod, lifting herself into a sitting position.
“I’ve gotta go. Jennie just came back.”
Jennie removed her coat and scarf as Chaeyoung continued to give hushed replies.
I’ll see you soon. Text me when you leave. Get home safely. I love you too.
It was almost sickeningly sweet, yet Jennie would not act any different if she were in a caring and loving relationship with someone she was crazy about.
As Chaeyoung hung up her call, she stood up and finally greeted Jennie with a hug.
“Hey, girl. How was work?”
“Are we really going to pretend that my day at work is the topic of interest right now?”
Chaeyoung playfully bit her tongue. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Is that so?”
“Hmm.”
“Does the girl that you brought home this morning ring any bells?”
“Oh, don’t say it like that!” With flushed cheeks, Chaeyoung crossed her arms and shrugged. “It’s pretty obvious what happened.”
“Are you going to tell me willingly or do I have to bribe you?”
“Depends. What are you offering?”
“I’ll order whatever you want for dinner.”
“Deal,” Chaeyoung nodded instantly.
Jennie didn’t comment on the fact that Chaeyoung had not stopped smiling once.
After a quick shower and a change into comfier clothes, Jennie spent the remainder of her evening listening to Chaeyoung’s recount of her reconciliation with Jisoo.
Unlike her initial secretive attitude, Chaeyoung was more than ready to share every single detail of her restored love life. The excitement was so evident that even if Jennie hadn’t generously offered to pay for their food, the joy in her eyes would have remained regardless.
“Did you get angry when you saw her at the airport?” Jennie questioned initially, aware that Jisoo’s sudden appearance was due to her own involvement.
As her interrogation session began, Jennie opened the two boxes of Korean fried chicken she had just collected from their door, handing Chaeyoung a plate and tissues while her friend poured a mix of beer and soju into her own glass.
“If my grudge stayed the same, I would’ve been pissed. But since we started talking again, I just felt nervous around her,” Chaeyoung admitted, leaving her soju bottle securely on her side of the table after Jennie refused a glass for herself.
“Nervous is good. Nervous means you care.”
“Hmm, correct. Except, in that moment, being nervous made me panic.”
Chaeyoung took a generous sip of her drink, which Jennie presumed gave her enough encouragement to elaborate.
“I saw her before she saw me, you know? She was looking at the wrong door when I came out of the arrival gates. And she had this adorable look on her face that made me want to pinch her cheeks and kiss her all over.” As she said the words, Chaeyoung’s lips curved into a silly grin, as if she was envisioning that memory. “So, logically, I turned around and walked away as fast as I could.”
Still chewing on her boneless chicken, Jennie raised an eyebrow dubiously. “Logically, you say.”
“My fight or flight instinct kicked in.”
“You just… walked away?”
Chaeyoung winced. “Well, I tried. My stupid ankle did that thing where it suddenly gives up on me and twists weirdly. I tripped like an idiot.”
“Rosie!” Jennie cooed sympathetically, though she couldn’t stop her amused giggle. Falling in front of the girl she was in love with was extremely in character for her best friend.
“I know!” Chaeyoung groaned, lifting a pillow to her face to hide her grimace. “So embarrassing! And of course, Jisoo was the first one to hear my screech.”
“That’s what you get for trying to escape my plans.”
Chaeyoung slapped her shoulder so hard that Jennie almost fell off her seat. Breaking into laughter, Jennie placed her free arm along the back of the sofa to steady herself, relieved that she had not been holding anything with her chopsticks.
“Okay, fine. What happened next? Did she romantically lift you up in her arms and carry you to her car?”
“No. She’s a doctor, remember? Her immediate response was to kneel in front of me and inspect my foot like a true professional.” Hugging the pillow to her chest, Chaeyoung sighed wistfully. “Just like the first time we met, she melted my heart with her doctor voice and her caring eyes. Do you have any idea of how attractive she looks when she’s in work mode?”
“Uhm, not really—”
“She’s so hot. And so gentle. And suddenly I started remembering all the ways she made me fall for her. Because it wasn’t fair that she could take care of me so well but not be with me. So, when she asked, ‘where does it hurt the most?’, I got emotional and just…”
Chaeyoung paused and licked her bottom lip, making Jennie nudge her and prompt her to continue.
“I pressed my hand to my heart and said here.”
Jennie’s jaw dropped. “You did not.”
“Oh, I did. And you know what she said, while I was all vulnerable with an aching ankle?”
“What?”
“I’ll take care of that too.”
While Jisoo had never really impressed her, Jennie had to admit that as soon as the words left Chaeyoung’s mouth, she let out the most dramatic squeal of excitement. Who knew that Kim Jisoo had it in her to be so direct? If their conversation the previous morning was of any indication, Jennie assumed her attempts at winning back her best friend would have been more hesitant.
From Chaeyoung’s bashful grin, Jennie knew she hadn’t been the only one that was surprised.
The next moments were filled with her best friend gushing about Jisoo’s grand romantic gesture. Jennie listened closely, appreciating Chaeyoung’s sparkling wide eyes as she described the extensive explanation and subsequent apology she received for… everything, really.
Putting all her cards on the table seemed to have worked wonderfully for Jisoo. Honesty resolved a lot of issues, Jennie concluded.
But Jennie’s focus wasn’t only on Chaeyoung’s words. As she stared down at her friend’s spotless plate on their coffee table and the almost full box of crispy chicken that Chaeyoung seemed to have completely forgotten, Jennie could only smile endearingly.
Because that said everything Jennie needed to know.
Love was quite wonderful when it didn't cause pain.
“It’s what you wanted, right?”
“It’s more. In my ideal scenario, I just needed Jisoo to apologise and tell me she loves me. But she actually opened up to me. It means she’s serious about us, right?”
“Of course,” Jennie said with a nod. “That's why she was always coming back to you.”
Her eyes dropped to her lap for a second, thinking about her own situation. Was that why she always felt like being with Lisa? Was it serious for her as well?
Being attracted to someone was nothing out of the ordinary. There were plenty of good-looking people around that Jennie might have occasionally eyed. But genuinely liking someone and feeling a constant pull towards them was far deeper than simple attraction.
Lisa wasn’t just a pretty girl that Jennie walked past on the way to work, nor a ten-minute crush she found during a single train ride.
No—Lisa was the person that was slowly taking over every moment of Jennie’s day and night, in a way that was completely effortless. Jennie had no plans to stop her from doing so either.
Liking Lisa wasn’t enough. Jennie didn't think she had ever wanted someone quite this badly, and the possibility of it not being reciprocated was utterly painful.
Chaeyoung noticed the shift in atmosphere immediately.
“Is something wrong?” she asked tentatively.
Jennie sighed, sensing the inevitable new direction of their girl talk. “Not wrong… just different.”
If there was one person Jennie could never keep secrets from, it was Chaeyoung. She didn’t even need to be persuaded to blurt out her newfound feelings for Lisa, especially when Chaeyoung was the one that called it from the start. And if being right about their compatibility was all there was to the reveal, Chaeyoung wouldn’t have had anything to be surprised about.
But when Jennie casually dropped the news of Lisa’s past confession, her friend’s knowing smile vanished, a shocked gasp replacing it instead.
“That has to be destiny!”
“Or a very big coincidence,” Jennie said. “That was years ago either way. It doesn’t mean she’d feel the same way now.”
“Don’t be silly,” Chaeyoung slapped her thigh lightly. “If she had a crush on you in high school, she doesn’t stand a chance against adult-you.”
“But that’s the problem, isn't it? Just because she liked me then doesn’t mean she’d be attracted to me now.” Jennie scrunched up her nose. “I would throw up at the sight of any of my high school boyfriends.”
Chaeyoung was not having it. She turned to face Jennie fully, putting her hands on her friend’s shoulders and looking straight into her eyes.
“Jennie,” she started with a deep breath. “You’re hot as fuck.”
Jennie rolled her eyes.
“I mean it! There’s a reason I hit on you when we first met.”
“Okay, but Lisa isn’t you. She might have a different type.”
“You also have a great job!” she exclaimed next. “Financial stability is SO attractive.”
“I’m hoping that’s not the only reason people would want to be with me.”
“Of course not,” Chaeyoung was quick to add. “You know how to cook. You have better fashion sense than anyone I know. You give great advice. You take care of people you love. There are so many reasons why anyone would be lucky to have you, including Lisa.”
“Right. Taeyang didn’t think any of that.”
“Girl,” Chaeyoung almost whined. “He’s gone. Like, forever. Not relevant anymore.”
“I really can’t help it, Rosie. I keep having these doubts about what I did wrong whenever I think about him.”
“I thought it didn’t bother you anymore since you started dating again.”
“Yeah, but I need to know what mistake I made. So that I don’t repeat it.”
Not with Lisa, Jennie wanted to say.
The closure Jennie needed from her relationship with Taeyang was vastly different from the type Chaeyoung got from Jisoo. Her intention had never been to get back with him. Finding out what was broken in her relationship wasn't aimed at repairing her previous one, but rather ensuring her next one would never suffer from it.
If she really wanted to pursue Lisa, she had to make sure she wasn’t going to give her a reason to dump her out of nowhere.
“What if it was him? You said you saw him with someone. Maybe that’s why he needed to break up with you.”
“But if you really love someone you don’t go looking at anyone else!” Jennie said exasperated. “Did you ever get interested in someone else while with Jisoo? Or while you were separated?”
“No… I—”
“And did Jisoo meet other people?”
“Not that I know of—”
“—she didn’t! I don’t even have to ask because anyone could tell she’s head over heels in love with you.”
Taeyang used to be head over heels in love with her. Taeyang told her he could see them getting married. Jennie thought the same. At what point did those feelings turn into lies?
“Jennie, love, you need to breathe,” Chaeyoung stated calmly.
Jennie closed her eyes and exhaled. Then inhaled. Then exhaled again.
“Sorry. I got carried away. It just bothers me whenever I think about it.”
“I can tell. But you really need to stop carrying all the blame for the end of that relationship. It sucks that you never got answers, but you either forget about Taeyang, or go speak to him about it.”
“I can’t do that. I don’t want to see him.”
“Then you know what to do.”
It had been months since the breakup. Jennie would lose all her remaining dignity if she showed up at Taeyang’s door now. She couldn’t do that. She’d rather make sure their paths never crossed again.
“I’ll just forget about him.”
“And?”
Jennie stared at her friend blankly. “And what?”
“And make a move on Lisa!”
Feeling her cheeks heat up immediately, Jennie dropped her head back against the sofa’s backrest and covered her eyes with her elbow out of embarrassment. Chaeyoung’s almost maniacal laugh made her groan out loud.
As she pressed her palm to her forehead and brushed back loose strands of hair, Jennie shot her friend a playful glare. “I feel like I’m going insane.”
“You’ve got it so bad, Kim.”
“Tell me about it,” Jennie sighed. “I was so close to kissing her yesterday. I was really tempted.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I don’t know,” Jennie said with a shrug. “It didn’t feel like the right time. I should probably tell her I’m into her before kissing her, no?”
“Not necessarily,” Chaeyoung pointed out. “Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Didn’t you kiss Sooyoung when you went on a date?”
“Yeah, but that was different. Lisa and I have history. And we’ve only ever worked towards friendship. I don’t know how to make it… non-platonic.”
“I’d say writing you a love letter is pretty non-platonic, don’t you think?”
“Again, that was in the past.”
“I’m just saying, you need to stop expecting the worst. If you genuinely like her, just give it your best shot,” Chaeyoung said with kind eyes.
Jennie nodded slowly, feeling reassured. The worst-case scenario would be Lisa rejecting her and ending their friendship. Considering Lisa had already mentioned not wanting to lose her over a failed confession, Jennie hoped the feeling remained true even if she was the one risking it all.
“I’m just gonna tell her. I have to do it.”
“Over a date?” Chaeyoung suggested.
“Probably,” Jennie started. Then, she shook her head. “I’m moving to the new place in a few days. I’ll be busy settling in. I can’t go on a date with a wardrobe that’s half empty.”
“You could always invite her over for dinner?”
“That would be too forward, wouldn’t it?” Jennie mentally facepalmed. “My cupboards would be empty. Why did I even consider it? She’d have no reason to come over.”
“She could help you unpack.”
“But you’re coming to help me unpack,” Jennie stated. “You said you would.”
“I could,” Chaeyoung nodded. “Just like you could have come to the airport yesterday. But you didn’t.”
“So, you’re saying I should…?”
“Oh, I’m saying you must.”
----
As usual, the world was against Jennie progressing with her love life. She did not get to see Lisa the following days, nor the following weeks. She had been too busy to even think about meeting her.
The first obstacle came when the moving company that was supposed to deliver her belongings to her new address sent her a notice of an unforeseen delay. Thankfully, Jennie had been smart enough to keep her clothes and essentials in suitcases that she would have brought herself, but that didn’t change the sad reality of having an almost empty apartment. So, while she finally had the keys to her new place, she couldn’t do much in it.
As if that was not enough to stress her out, she also had to attend a few meetings in London over the weekend. Jennie didn’t mind travelling, but having to go on a business trip while she was in the process of moving houses was not the most convenient situation to be in.
Jennie knew that her workload was about to get more intense with the new season’s collection. She couldn’t just drop her career for a sentimental life that had not even started. That was the rationality that kept her going when she landed at Heathrow with three hours of sleep and an abundance of caffeine in her system.
“How long is the trip to the hotel?”
“About forty minutes without traffic,” Mina responded while looking at their itinerary on her tablet.
Jennie only hoped her dark sunglasses were good enough to hide the tiredness in her eyes. “And is there traffic now?”
“It’s 8 a.m., I’d say it’s likely,” Lia said with a frown as she hung up a call. Jennie knew it had been Ryujin on the other end of the line, checking that her girlfriend landed safely. “Luckily the meeting is at midday, so we have plenty of time.”
When she was informed about the trip, Jennie had personally requested for Lia to be included. She thought it would have been a great opportunity for her to be involved in a big project, and that she’d definitely appreciate the experience abroad. Or at least, enjoy it more than Jennie did in that moment.
Hearing that they were nowhere near finished with travelling, Jennie didn’t even have the energy to complain, silently following her team to the parking lot without any further comments.
The drive to the hotel wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.
Lia was almost glued to the car window, enjoying the views of central London. Jennie was highly irritable, the constant moving and stopping of the car in the traffic definitely not ideal for resting.
Mina had her diary out, filled with neat handwriting on colourful post-its. As she talked them through the topics of the meeting, Jennie nodded along absent-mindedly, while Lia enthusiastically asked for extra details or clarification.
The new collection. The Big Four fashion weeks. The magazine photoshoots. The latest ambassadors. The runway models.
They arrived at the hotel a little before 10 a.m., allowing Jennie to head to her suite and drop herself face down on the king-sized bed.
Egyptian cotton sheets and premium feather pillows were never part of her complaints. Jennie couldn’t even imagine the price tag attached to such comfort, simply glad that she’d never have to see it. The perks of business trips, she figured. Her mind kept telling her she should take some time to freshen up before they inevitably had to leave again, but the soft duvet was holding her hostage.
Just a few seconds. She wanted to keep her eyes closed just for a little while.
But then her phone rang.
Instinctively, Jennie refused to move a muscle in the hopes that whoever felt the need to disrupt her ten seconds of peace would choose to hang up before she decided her ringtone went on for long enough to pick up.
The ringing didn’t stop.
Jennie groaned as she reluctantly pulled herself away from the bed. She walked to her bag and grabbed her phone from inside. Once she read the name on the screen, she paused in surprise, and then hurried to accept the call before it was too late.
“Hello?”
“Jennie—hi! I mean... is this not a good moment? I can totally call back another time—”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she rushed to assure. “I just didn’t expect it.”
“Right. I just thought… Ryujin mentioned you were going to London with her girlfriend today, and I didn’t get to speak to you before you left.”
It was hard to tell whether Lisa had expected Jennie to tell her she was going abroad. She didn’t particularly sound disappointed to have heard it from someone else, but Jennie didn’t want her to feel like she was not important enough to tell her personally.
“I’ve been busy lately,” Jennie said. “Work has been heavier than usual. My mind is all over the place. I’m glad you called.”
“Yeah… it’s been a while. Was your flight okay?”
Jennie sighed tiredly as she dropped herself back on the bed, this time with a faint smile on her lips.
“It was long. Very long. I’m exhausted,” Jennie said honestly.
“When will you be back?”
“Miss me already?”
“No, I mean, yes, kind of, but not like—”
“Relax. I was just teasing. I’ll be back on Monday hopefully. It’s just a weekend trip.”
“That’s not too long,” Lisa mused quietly to herself, with a hint of what Jennie wanted to believe was relief.
“Not too long at all,” Jennie confirmed, her tone steady enough to conceal her delight at the perceived meaning of Lisa’s response.
Frankly, Jennie was also bothered by the extensive time she spent away from Lisa.
“Well, I hope you have a good time. And take some rest.”
Jennie couldn’t help but wonder if Lia received this kind of attention when Ryujin called. The kind that made her feel like someone was looking out for her wherever she was in the world. The kind that made her want to drop everything and run back home.
“I’ll try.”
They spoke for a few more minutes. Or maybe more. Jennie wasn’t really counting when her attention was entirely on Lisa’s soothing voice. Having just left work, Lisa wasn’t on a time limit, so the one to cut their call short had to be Jennie. She didn’t want to. She wouldn’t have minded being on the phone with Lisa for the rest of the weekend.
But when a knock came at her door, followed by Mina’s voice alerting her they had five minutes to get down to the lobby, Jennie had to go back to reality. She tried to prolong the end of their call as much as she could, but she sensed that Lisa understood it was time to hang up.
Jennie hoped that Lisa also felt the urge to see her again. She’d feel pathetic if the longing was completely one-sided.
When they said goodbye, she left the unspoken 'I miss you too' hanging in the air.
----
Jennie had worked her ass off in the studio the past year. The new collection was her baby, she had been taking part in its creation from the start. And yet, as she sat surrounded by men and women in suits, staring blankly at a presentation of events and plans she had already taken note of in Seoul, she couldn’t help but think this meeting could have been written up in a document and emailed to her.
Mina, her angel of an assistant, was silently writing down the crucial points in her notebook. Jennie had taken the liberty of zoning out, knowing that reading Mina’s bullet points would give her everything she needed to take from that meeting. And if by any reason they weren’t, then she was sure that Lia would be able to recite the entire presentation to her, given the focused look on her face throughout. Either way, Jennie’s own pen and paper seemed pointless. She twirled the elegant ballpoint pen around her fingers to keep herself occupied.
For a few moments, her mind drifted to other places. Jennie could use some food after the meeting. She should probably take Mina and Lia out for dinner, even though she was yet to find a restaurant in London that was worth returning to. They could order some pizza at the hotel if they couldn’t find anywhere nice. Jennie wasn’t on a strict diet like she had been when Taeyang came with her to work trips. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that ordering takeout was the best idea. The weather wasn’t exactly splendid, she didn’t want her colleagues to get sick after the trip.
Her daydreaming was abruptly interrupted by Mina’s elbow nudging her side. Jennie shot her a perplexed glance, only to see Mina’s pupils motioning towards the presentation screen.
With an initial squint of confusion, Jennie’s eyes scanned the projected slide displaying various models and celebrities. Each picture was captioned with the name of a renowned fashion magazine, confirming who were the final choices for photoshoots.
And then she spotted him.
Yoo Taeyang. In all of his shirtless glory.
Jennie barely had the time to whisper a stunned “what”, only audible to Mina, before the presenter continued to speak.
Fashion magazines were a vital part of promoting an upcoming collection. Concepts and cover looks were planned months in advance, and selecting the models or brand ambassadors was always a strenuous process considering all the parties that had to give the green light.
The fact that her label chose Taeyang for Vogue Korea was astonishing.
At first, Jennie felt herself freeze at the sight of her ex-boyfriend’s image. Her hand stopped playing with her pen and her eyes were fixed forward, but she begged them to stare at anything else. Anything that wasn’t Taeyang’s face, nor his name in big bold letters.
Then, she began to reason. Taeyang was easily one of the top male models in Korea at the moment. It wasn’t just her label that wanted him; there were plenty of luxury brands that would pay a lot of money to have him. His career grew just like hers in the past three years. Jennie couldn’t blame them, Taeyang had that million-dollar face.
Perhaps it was Vogue that put him forward. The Calvin Klein photos they were showing to introduce him were taken for a photoshoot with that same magazine, after all. It had probably been the most life-changing moment of Taeyang’s career, but still not as grand as being featured on the cover. From his perspective, giving that up just because his ex was involved would be incredibly stupid. Even Jennie could understand that.
And yet, she couldn’t believe how awful the timing was for her label to agree and pick him up. Why couldn’t they have hired him last spring, when they still lived happily under the same roof? Why did they decide to make her work with him when she just began to explore her feelings for someone else?
Chaeyoung wasn’t going to believe it. So much for the forget about him plan.
Jennie didn’t pay attention to the rest. She didn’t care about some Hollywood actress opening the runway show in Paris, nor the ambassadors invited to whichever of the big fashion weeks. All she could focus on was the inevitable run-in that she would have with Taeyang.
Her mind had not moved on even as they left the conference room. Mina had looked at her with worried eyes throughout the meeting. Jennie knew she wouldn’t mention it yet. It wasn’t exactly a topic to be discussed in a work setting.
They didn’t talk about it on the way to the parking lot. They didn’t talk about it during the car ride back. They didn’t talk about it when they entered the hotel lobby, parting ways with Lia who had to make yet another phone call. (It was Ryujin. It was always Ryujin.)
Once she and Mina stepped in the lift leading to their floor, Jennie felt like she could finally breathe again.
“I think I’m going to pass out.”
“You haven’t passed out during the meeting. I doubt it can get worse, Jennie.”
“Oh, it can. Or are you gonna tell me that I can completely avoid my ex-boyfriend for these events? That there is not a single schedule where I have to see or speak to him?”
“I really wish I could tell you that,” said Mina sympathetically.
The doors of the lift opened on the seventh floor, allowing both girls to step out while a few other hotel guests stepped in. Jennie waited until they had no audience to continue her rant.
“It’s like they waited around for us to break up before contacting him. As if I had not tried to get him on a minor photoshoot two years ago. It makes no sense.” Sighing deeply, Jennie rubbed her temples in frustration.. “And the worst part is that I can’t even do anything about it.”
Mina placed a hand on her back, a gesture of silent support. “I know it’s hard for you. But I promise to try my best at minimising your contact with him. I’ll take all the phone calls, write the emails. You only have to worry about Vogue.”
When they reached her suite’s door, Jennie had to refrain herself from banging her head against it.
“You’re literally the best. I think I’d fall apart without you.”
“I should also inform you that he’s coming to the studio to get the fittings done.”
Banging her head against the door sounded even more appealing.
“Do I have to be there?” Jennie knew it was a pointless question. Mina wouldn’t have mentioned it if she wasn’t involved.
“Sadly, yes. Stylist Lee will be doing most of the work, but they need you to decide on the final outfits for the photoshoot concept. We’ll have the collection pieces available on the day to see how they look on him.”
“Is there no one else that can do it?”
“Jennie,” Mina called softly. “This is the project you spent days and nights working on. Do you really want someone else to make the decisions? Are you really going to let Taeyang take that from you?”
With her back pressed against the wall, Jennie let out a defeated breath. Mina was right. Her professional life collided with her personal one, but it was ultimately up to her to decide which one she would let win her over.
Thankfully, she still had several weeks before she had to face him. She had Christmas and New Year's to recover. She could be ready by then.
Jennie had let Mina know that dinner was on her that evening, and to charge whatever she and Lia wanted on her card. She had also kindly asked her to put an order for a pizza with mushrooms for herself. Jennie wasn’t going to let Taeyang get in the way of her and her pizza ever again.
----
Somehow, her flight back to Seoul felt even worse than her flight to London.
Jennie had no one to blame except herself, really.
After returning from the first meeting, she had slept all evening, leaving her awake at 2 a.m. with no one but her thoughts. At some point, she had texted Chaeyoung about the Taeyang situation, promising they will talk when she’d get back. Jennie had also mentioned not having the greatest time to Lisa following yet another ‘good morning’ text from the girl. Well, it had definitely been morning in Korea when she sent it.
Afterwards, Jennie had pretty much stayed awake until it was time for their final meeting early in the morning (London’s, that is). She had been more involved in that one since they discussed the collection itself, not the marketing, so at least the trip hadn’t been a complete waste of her time. They headed to the airport right after it ended.
Under the false impression that she would be able to sleep on the plane like a baby, Jennie convinced herself that she’d surely make up for the lost sleep before they landed.
Out of the twelve hours spent in the air, Jennie only managed to somewhat sleep for about two.
The plane ride wasn’t even the issue. The seats were comfortable, and there were no annoying kids in business class, forming a dream environment for a normal passenger.
Unfortunately for Jennie, the nagging thought of having to deal with a situation out of her control was keeping her wide awake. She found it impossible to put her mind at ease, already feeling the tiredness seeping back into her body as she imagined the journey back home.
Well, if she could even call it home.
Having to wait for her new mattress to be delivered, Jennie had been sleeping at Chaeyoung’s for a few more nights. It conveniently arrived the day she had to leave, so she was yet to even put it on the bed frame. She already dreaded having to carry it to her bedroom before even getting to lie on it.
At some point, she had turned to Lia, noticing that the girl had just finished her second movie on the flight.
“Lia, are you going home by taxi? Mina’s going with her friend, but I can pay for your ride.”
“Oh, no need! Ryujin is coming to get me. But thank you for offering!”
Jennie nodded in reply, leaning back on her seat with slumped shoulders. It must be nice to have someone waiting, she thought to herself. It wasn’t like Chayeoung hadn’t offered, but Jennie knew she was busy with the café after her trip to Australia. She wondered if Lisa was on shift while Ryujin was heading to Incheon.
By the time they were back in Korea, Jennie felt like a ghost. Her eyes were the biggest giveaway of her exhaustion, so she had to put the sunglasses back on. It was early in the morning; the sun rose just in time to make her look a little less weird.
They went past border control smoothly, and they didn’t have any checked-in luggage to wait for. Jennie couldn’t wait to go back to her bed. Or sofa. Her bed was definitely not ready for comfort.
Mina left first since her friend was already at the arrival gates. Given that Jennie only needed to call a taxi, Lia insisted for her to get going as well, but Jennie had no intention of leaving the younger girl alone at the airport. Besides, she was certain that Ryujin would hunt her down if anything happened to her girlfriend.
Jennie went over Mina’s notes as they waited, unable to avoid Taeyang’s name as it came up over and over. But when Lia yelled “Over here!”, waving her arm above her head energetically, Jennie instinctively took off her sunglasses and turned her head to examine the crowd of people around.
She had been looking for Ryujin. Jennie’s eyes scanned for pink hair and a brooding stare. But all she could see were the kind, doe eyes that stared right back at her. Those brown eyes that she had not seen for too long. Jennie slowly put down the notebook on top of her carry-on, her enthralled gaze still locked on the incoming figure, wondering if her condition had worsened to the point of hallucinations.
It couldn’t be a mirage, no. Not when those eyes were accompanied by that smile Jennie adored. Not when the figure approached her in a couple of long strides, arms opened just slightly. Opened enough for Jennie to step forward and get caught into them.
“What are you doing here?” she exclaimed in disbelief. Her hands moved from Lisa’s shoulders to softly hold her cheeks, the girl’s bright smile matching her own.
“Hey, you. I was worried it would be a bad surprise.”
Jennie shook her head, “Not in the slightest. I’m so happy you’re here.”
She wanted to kiss her.
Lisa’s mouth was right in front of her.
Jennie pulled her face closer, pressing her lips against Lisa’s flushed cheek before tightly wrapping her arms around her neck. “Missed you a little.”
“Yeah? A little?” Lisa questioned in a teasing tone, most likely to hide the shock Jennie noticed when she got so close to her face. Lisa’s hand was soothingly rubbing her back, and Jennie could have easily fallen asleep right there and then.
“Very little. Almost negligible.”
She heard Lisa scoff. Right before she felt her lips on the side of her head.
The clearing of a throat made them separate sooner than Jennie would’ve liked, though she felt no awkwardness from either herself or Lisa at the interruption. They simply pulled away from the hug, with Lisa’s arm still around her waist as they both turned towards Ryujin’s expectant gaze.
“I know you said you just needed a ride to the airport, but I can drive you back as well.”
Lisa hesitated, but Jennie jumped in before she could come up with an improvised reply. “It’s fine, I was going to get a taxi either way. Get my newest team member home in one piece, thank you.”
Ryujin rolled her eyes unimpressed as Lia giggled beside her. The pink-haired girl picked up her girlfriend’s small suitcase with her free arm, the one that Lia wasn’t holding. “Well then. I’ll see you at work, Lisa.”
Jennie returned Lia’s bow as she left, watching both girls go through the exit to the parking lot.
“So,” she said as she linked her arm with Lisa’s. “Did you wake up and feel the need to spontaneously come to the airport?”
Lisa laughed as she reached for Jennie’s cabin luggage, swatting away Jennie’s hand when she tried to take it back.
“It’s fine,” she murmured as she slipped the notebook into the unzipped front pocket. “Where to?”
Jennie pointed to the escalator, indicating the way to the taxi station. She pulled at their linked arms to lead the way.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Hmm?” Lisa hummed distracted as they got on the escalator. “Ah. Well, you know. Just thought to myself, why not? And here I am.”
“Why not?” Jennie repeated incredulously. “Your job. Sleeping in. There were plenty of reasons not to come.”
Lisa looked down at the small suitcase to avoid her eyes. “Dunno, I just felt like it.”
They silently made their way to the station for taxis to Seoul. After Jennie arranged for a ride, they easily slipped into the back of the vehicle. Thankfully, the driver was not the chatty type. Jennie had secured a peaceful half an hour with Lisa. And who could blame her for spending it with her head on her shoulder?
Lisa did not seem to mind at all.
“Will you tell me?” Jennie quietly asked again, her eyes shut. “Why you came today?”
She heard Lisa exhale slowly. Felt the slow tap of her fingers on her knee. “You sounded really tired when I called you the other day. And yesterday you said you weren’t feeling great. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
The warm sensation that took over Jennie’s body was beginning to feel too familiar. “You didn’t have work today?”
“We usually close early on Sunday, but Ryujin picked up the extra shift saying Lia would be back this morning. I worked with her so we could open at a later time today instead. And then asked her if I could tag along.”
A smile tugged on the corner of her lips. “Did she ask why?”
“Just had to say your name.”
Jennie hummed contently.
They got to her apartment too quickly for Jennie’s liking. After her sleepless day, napping on Lisa’s shoulder had been a blessing.
Lisa refused to go home immediately. After hearing Jennie’s dilemma of being bed-less, she insisted on helping her get her mattress ready. Lisa was good at lifting things. She easily carried her end of the mattress, while Jennie had to drag hers. Jennie had gotten rid of the plastic wrapping all by herself to make up for her lack of arm muscles.
Once the mattress was nicely put on the bed frame, Jennie ran back to the bags she left by the entrance filled with essentials from Cheayoung’s house. She pulled out bedsheets and the flattest pillow ever, alongside a thin blanket. Fortunately, the apartment’s heating was enough to keep her warm. Lisa aided her with placing the bedsheets, laughing at her lonely pillow on the enormous bed.
After briefly leaving the bedroom to take a quick shower, Jennie returned to the sight of Lisa sitting on the edge of her bed, aimlessly staring at the opened suitcases on the side of the room.
“I know. It’s a mess.”
“The place is really nice,” Lisa commented. “A bit empty, but nice.”
“My stuff is stuck in some storage somewhere. I’ll get it this week thankfully. Although, I’m pretty sure I’ll procrastinate on unpacking as long as I can.”
“I’m free right before the weekend if you need help unpacking the things I packed,” Lisa offered humorously.
Jennie celebrated in her head. The fact that she didn’t have to outright ask Lisa to come over helped her maintain a bit of her pride. She really wanted to avoid looking too desperate.
“You know I won’t say no to that. I’ll call you when everything arrives,” Jennie said, stepping closer and draping her towel on the back of a chair. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?”
“Oh, no.” Lisa rubbed her hands on her thighs and stood up. “I should leave now.”
“You don’t have to,” Jennie said, sitting down next to the spot Lisa had just occupied. “You said you didn’t have to work until later today.”
“You need to rest, Jennie.”
“I know, I’m not asking you to party with me,” she replied amused.
Jennie shifted to the other side of the bed, lying down on her side with her head resting on her arm. She patted the space beside her. “You can rest too. I’m sure waking up at the crack of dawn tired you out as well.”
“You only have one pillow.”
Jennie shrugged. “It can fit both of us.”
Lisa still stared at her with dubious eyes.
With the opportunity to spend more time with Lisa slipping away, Jennie was down to her last resort.
“Does the idea of sharing a bed with your high school crush make you nervous?” Jennie teased at last, her smile growing wider at Lisa’s subtle eye roll, which didn’t quite manage to mask the surprise in her gaze. “Please, just until I fall asleep?”
Maybe it was Jennie’s pleading eyes, or the cheeky smile she always used to get what she wanted, but Lisa finally gave in. She climbed back on the bed, this time taking off her jacket and leaving it on a suitcase with a pile of Jennie’s clothes. Jennie never took her eyes off her, waiting until the other girl laid her head on her same pillow. Until she was close enough to hear her breathing.
“Hey.”
Jennie grinned. “Hey.”
“Sleep.”
“I can’t sleep on command.”
Lisa brought her hand to Jennie’s forehead, gently hovering on her eyelids until Jennie shut her eyes with a small laugh. “That’s a start.”
A few hours ago, Jennie would have passed out as soon as she lay on something soft. But in that moment, she tried to keep herself awake for as long as she could.
“You didn’t answer.”
Even without seeing her, Jennie heard Lisa’s deep exhale, prompting her to open her eyes again.
“Lisa from high school would have gone into cardiac arrest if she knew she’d share a bed with you one day.”
“That’s not what I asked,” Jennie said softly. “Are you nervous now?”
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Maybe a little.”
Jennie’s lips curved into a smile unwillingly.
Nervous is good, she had told Chaeyoung. Jennie wondered if Lisa being nervous was also a good sign.
“Do you miss her?”
“Who?”
“Jennie from high school.”
“You’re one and the same.”
“Not true. I’ve aged.”
“And you’ve done it beautifully.”
Under the faint light provided by the bedside lamp, Jennie truly hoped Lisa couldn’t see her blushing cheeks. Lisa’s eyes remained focused, seemingly unaware of the effect her flattering words had.
“Sometimes I just wonder if you see me differently,” Jennie admitted, her throat feeling dry.
“Why?”
“I’ve changed a lot,” Jennie said quietly. “The Jennie you liked so much back then must be very different from the one I am now.”
“How would you know?” Lisa teased, “I’m the only one that remembers.”
“Lisa,” Jennie whined.
An uneasy feeling settled in Jennie’s stomach as she skirted around the real concern troubling her mind.
Lisa had met two versions of her: one that she had a crush on years ago, and one that she was currently friends with. But the problem was that whichever part of Jennie made Lisa fall for her in the past might have disappeared.
It wouldn’t have mattered if they were just friends. Lisa clearly didn’t mind having her around. However, if Lisa only liked her romantically in high school, then Jennie would be left competing with a version of herself that she could never go back to.
“Do you remember the vending machines at the very bottom of the school's left wing staircase?”
“Huh?”
The change of topic came so suddenly that Jennie barely registered the question. The blatant confusion in her eyes stole a quiet laugh from Lisa.
“The school put them there for the sports teams before they moved to the new building. They rarely worked, so they weren’t exactly popular. But… they had this specific drink. It was a green bottle—”
“The green tea!” Jennie blurted out in excitement, the memories of the drink coming back to her.
The guy she used to date was on a few of the sports teams, but she had only gone to see him once in that building due to how far it was from her class. She hadn’t liked him enough to make all that effort.
And yet, finding that particular drink was the only reason she was willing to walk all the way to that area of the school over and over.
“I used to love that one.”
Lisa nodded with a smile. “Yes, I know. It’s the reason I met you for the first time.”
“Really? How?”
Jennie wasn’t sure what intrigued her more—the reveal of a first meeting that she never recalled, or the tenderness in Lisa’s gaze as she spoke about it.
“It was by mere chance. You were standing there with the most devastated look on your face. I was just passing by, but you grabbed my arm so firmly and asked if I had any spare change.”
“I didn’t carry coins around.”
“I’m aware. You handed me a banknote that was ten times what I gave you in exchange,” Lisa quipped.
“That’s it then?” Jennie questioned sarcastically with a subtle raise of eyebrow. “You fell for my immense wealth?”
“No!” Lisa reassured, a hint of amusement in her tone at the incorrect insinuation. “I stood by as you inserted the coins one by one. And you clasped your hands together as you waited for the drink to drop, and then made little happy noises as you finally took it out of the machine.”
“It was a treat, okay? I wasn’t allowed any drinks with sugar at home,” Jennie justified, slightly embarrassed that Lisa had not only been a witness to her green tea addiction, but also remembered it so clearly. “And they always took months to refill the machine. I had to get it before it was gone.”
“I bought it once you left, you know?” Lisa mused. “Just to know what caused you such happiness.”
“Yeah?”
“It was the most disgusting thing I had ever tasted.”
Jennie pushed herself up from her position so fast, her hands finding Lisa’s waist as her fingers pinched both her sides.
“Take it back!” she demanded, her cheeks hurting from the wide grin Lisa had so effortlessly provoked.
Unexpecting the sudden attack, Lisa shrieked hysterically, her head dropping back against the pillow as laughter spilled from her lips. It easily became one of Jennie’s favourite sounds.
Lisa’s hands soon grabbed hers, pulling them away from her ticklish zone.
“That’s the one,” Lisa remarked through slow breaths, chest rising and falling steadily as her eyes locked onto Jennie’s.
“What?”
“The smile you gave me back then,” Lisa said fondly. “High school or not, it’s one and the same.”
Jennie felt it then. Even when she had no recollection of their first meeting, the sheer adoration in Lisa's tone was an exact reflection of the words written in that heartfelt letter.
I'd give anything to be the reason behind your smiles.
It was a sentence included amidst all the other paragraphs that Lisa had thoughtfully written back then. So brief that Jennie wouldn't have realised it meant so much.
But now she understood.
Changing the past was never something that Jennie thought of. She strongly believed that everything happened for a reason, and she was grateful that it led her to the life she got to live now.
But if she could, she'd go back in time and give Lisa all the smiles she wanted. The rare kind that Lisa captured so wonderfully in that silly school booklet.
Jennie would make sure Lisa knew they were all just for her now.
It was happening far too many times to count, but yet again, Jennie wanted to kiss her.
If only she hadn't returned from a twelve hour flight, if only she hadn't stayed up for most of it, if only Lisa didn't know her so well to sense her tiredness from miles away, then perhaps she would have.
Before Jennie had the chance to make a move, Lisa pushed her back down on her side of the pillow, making comments about the need to rest that Jennie wasn't really listening to.
She heard Lisa dip her arm into the mattress to lift herself and reach over to Jennie’s side, switching off the nightstand lamp. She felt Lisa’s arm brush her shoulder as she retreated to her spot, silently wishing it had stayed around her.
Egyptian cotton didn’t even come close to the luxury of having Lalisa Manoban next to her in bed, Jennie realised.
And with the lack of sleep making her thoughts blur, Jennie was left to voice her only wish out loud.
“Stay,” she whispered.
“Until you fall asleep,” Lisa said.
“Until I fall asleep,” Jennie repeated her own words.
Words that formed her second lie of that day.
Jennie didn’t want Lisa to leave. Asking her to stay until she fell asleep had been a cowardly way to obtain a mere fraction of what she truly wanted. But she couldn’t be greedy. Even when she selfishly wanted to wake up and have Lisa beside her, she couldn’t demand that of her.
For the time being, falling asleep next to her was enough. It had to be.
The other lie was, obviously, that Jennie only had one pillow.
----
Having a new address was never easy. Jennie had lost count of how many letters still kept being delivered to Chaeyoung’s address, as well as the ones she would never retrieve from Taeyang’s home.
At least, the truck transporting her belongings got to her building just fine. She had the help of some workers from the building’s lobby to carry every box into her apartment. They stayed there since, only a handful opened. Jennie had been waiting for Lisa to confirm a day she would be free to come over. She needed some boxes to stay unpacked, just in case Lisa figured out that Jennie didn’t invite her just for her strong arms.
The apartment seemed less empty now. It started to feel a little like home, eventually. Even the afternoon concierge and the security staff started to become more familiar with her, greeting her with a smile whenever she entered. Jennie had interacted with them more than her own neighbour, really.
In Jennie’s defence, it didn’t seem like her neighbour wanted to know her either. The only interaction they had wasn’t even in person. A package had been wrongly delivered to the apartment next to her, and her neighbour just left it outside Jennie’s door. It was safe, considering only residents could enter the building and there were cameras on every floor, but it would have been nice to meet the only other person living on her floor.
Work was still a bit of a headache. Hearing the words Vogue or Taeyang put her in a bad mood instantly, but Mina had meant it when she said she’d handle most of the admin work. Gradually, Jennie began to see his name as nothing more than a job responsibility.
However, when the highly anticipated day arrived, Jennie didn’t let anything ruin it for her—not her workday, not her commute, not even getting a bit lost on her way back to the new building. She wanted to be in her best form when she opened the door for Lisa.
The old man behind the desk in the entrance area smiled at her when she returned from work. Jennie mirrored his greeting as she walked in the building, a sense of excitement growing with each step she took.
The main lift was quite nice. Sometimes there was music playing, sometimes there wasn’t, but it was kept clean all the time. Jennie took advantage of the big mirror to check her appearance when she entered. There were times where she shared the ride with other residents, who left before or after her floor, but being alone made her feel more at ease.
When she stepped out of the lift, she paused to check her phone. She had a missed call from Chaeyoung, followed by a message wishing her good luck with her ‘date’. Jennie laughed quietly, using one hand to type a reply while the other rummaged in her coat pocket for her house key.
Once she took out her jingling keys, she looked at her door lock, freezing. Right, her new apartment used a keypad lock. She’d get used to it with time. Putting her keys back in her pocket, she began pressing the six numbers that would open her door. The quiet beeping of the key presses distracted her from the noise of the lift reaching her floor again. She always ignored it since it never stopped there.
This time, it did.
Just as she heard the sharp confirmation sound of her lock, the lift doors behind her opened, and a surprised voice sent a chill down her spine.
“Jennie Kim?”
It was a bit embarrassing that Jennie still recognised that incredibly sweet tone. When she turned around slowly, she realised that the big, bright eyes also remained the same. She was glad she wasn’t holding keys then, certain that she’d drop them just at the sight before her.
“S-Sana?”
----