Chapter Text
“Hey! Steve?”
I know you're probably straight and this is never going to work out, but you were sort of my gay awakening and I also happen to be your soulmate. I'm sorry. Please don't kill me. It's not worth the trouble, we're all about to die anyway.
Yeah, no. He can't say that.
He should give Steve something. Some clue that he bears his mark, but he can't. His tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth and refuses to build the words. Eddie is not sure if it's self preservation or selfishness.
Maybe he wants to go into this big showdown fight without knowing what Steve's disappointment looks like. He'd much rather cling to the surprise in Steve's expression when he accidentally flirted with him in the Winnebago, how wide those pretty eyes had grown. Eddie thinks of Steve's sheepish smile when he'd put on the battle vest. He's not ready to stain these precious memories with a frown and distaste - and that's the best case scenario.
If Vecna really feeds on bad memories, Eddie has enough of them already. He doesn't need to add more to the mix.
Only now, Steve is looking at him expectantly, turned around towards Eddie while the rest of the group is ready to go.
Eddie is holding them up. They have a plan and it's time sensitive. Now is not the best moment to discuss soulmate business.
Steve tilts his head slightly. A silent queue for Eddie to go on. To spit out what's on his mind.
Eddie bites the inside of his cheek to force himself out of his stupor. He forces himself to croak out something.
Anything.
I'm destined to love you.
It's what he wants to say.
"Make him pay."
It’s the only thing he can rasp out and it tastes like bile and ashes on his tongue.
The only upside to this whole mess is that he gets to see his sweetheart in the eerie blue glow of this alternate dimension, making her look even more metal. Reverently he dances his fingers across the guitar strings, making her sing. The frozen-in-time version looks new, (not that his actual sweetheart looks run down, he takes very good care of her, thank you very much), and Eddie remembers buying the guitar only a few months before Will went missing back in the day. Every other week he’d go up to Indy on the bus, just to stand outside the music store and look at that particular beauty before he managed to save up enough money to get her. He still suspects that Rick and Wayne both slipped him a few extra bills without him noticing. Probably tired of hearing Eddie wax poetically about a musical instrument.
After reveling in memories and marveling at his guitar, they prepare for the ultimate distraction. Dustin lends him a hand and they heave up the amp and everything on top of the reinforced and barricaded trailer.
“Are you ready for the most metal concert in the history of the world?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?”
They anxiously wait for the signal as the others roam through the twisted version of Hawkins to the Creel house. Eddie once more hopes they’ll make it there okay. Especially when howls echo in the distance every now and then.
Perched on the trailer roof with nothing to do, in tense silence, Eddie’s mind starts to wander back to the beginning. The reason he ended up on the trailer roof of the distorted version of the world in the first place - Chrissy.
Without Venca’s curse, could they have become friends? Well, if Jason was still in the picture, of course not. But just him and Chrissy, it could have worked.
He remembers her amused smile and her sweet chuckle as he entertained her with his theatrics. The way her whole face lit up and her eyes wrinkled in the corners. How effortlessly they had laughed in the woods when Eddie was unaware of Chrissy’s troubles. Unaware of this whole parallel dimension shit.
His heart aches for missed opportunities and lost possibilities, so when their phase hits, he dedicates his solo to her.
He shreds at his guitar for Chrissy with all his heart because she'll never hear him play.
Will never be able to befriend him for real and come to his concert.
Will never get to conquer her demons.
Will never smile and laugh again.
Will never get to graduate and get out of the shit hole that is Hawkins.
Just like Eddie won't.
Even if we defeat Vecna now, logically, what difference does it make?
The small-minded people of their town have hated him before, and they'll hate him after.
There'll always be another Jason, someone that will hate him simply for existing.
So in the end, it's not just a tribute to the future Chrissy is missing out on, but also for Eddie's hopes and dreams. The ideas of what-could-have-been if his world wasn't turned Upside Down. Quite literally.
Eddie gives the performance everything he has. Lays every emotion into the riff, dances his fingers across the strings of his sweetheart and lets his heart sing along the lines of his favorite song.
He recalls Gareth’s smile when he first managed to play the whole instrumental bridge without mistake. Remembers the sparkle of joy in Jeff's eyes and the impressed nod of Frank. Eddie basks in the feeling of this connection, when he could play with his friends. He channels the screams of excitement at the ends of his numerous campaigns, letting them fuel him until he feels like he could burst.
This is the performance of my life!
Emotions whirl inside Eddie, flipping from pure joy to anxious anticipation to melancholy with every note. His voice is trembling and raw with feeling. Overwhelmed with it all, tears gather in the corners of Eddie's eyes. Full body goosebumps trail down his skin turning into a cold shiver when the screeching bats emerge on the horizon.
His blood runs cold.
Dustin gives him a countdown, and maybe they should run away, but Eddie just made it to the guitar solo and nothing is going to take this part away from him. Not even the clawing fear of death.
He strums the strings like his life depends on it, which it actually does.
Both he and Dustin holler in excitement after making it back inside the trailer alive, jumping up and down, pumped with adrenaline. Their distraction is a big success, going by the dozen of bats screeching around them outside.
Only the bats don’t stay outside. Soon they find their way through the vent. Eddie manages to seal one of them just in time, slamming the shield up against the roof, piercing the nails right into the little beast and holding it in place there.
But they are not fast enough for the second vent. The creatures fill Eddie’s room, crashing against the door they closed just in time. Half rotten wood is splintering at the force of the swarm of monsters crashing into it relentlessly.
Panicked Eddie ushers Dustin through the gate, keeping an eye out for the door. After the kid makes it through safely, Eddie throws down his weapons and starts climbing.
A loud thud draws his attention; the door is about to give way. There's a moment where Eddie looks between the door and the open gate, where Dustin is waiting, screaming for him to hurry.
Who says the bats will just give up?
Shit, Nancy even said Vecna wants to send his army through the gates and fuck up Hawkins.
Why should they wait? If the gate is still open, they can simply get through…
If they can get in, the creatures can get out. Knows they did it before when he thinks about Steve and how he got snatched at Lover's Lake.
Plus, if all of the little monsters are still alive and kicking, so is Vecna.
Dustin is waving at Eddie, spurring him on, but Eddie is frozen halfway up the rope. It's a split second decision to go back down, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he has to buy them more time. Looking up at Dustin through the gate, there's only one option, really. He has to keep playing decoy and keep the hell bats in the Upside Down. Away from the kid. Away from the gate. Away from Hawkins and the trailer park. Away from his neighbors there. Not that Wayne or he are very close with anyone living there, but they're all people Eddie knows. Good people.
All he has to do is to fulfill his task - be a distraction. Keep the bats busy and focused on him so they can't even consider going through the gate.
Against all protests from Dustin and the rational part of his brain, Eddie hops down and grabs the spear. The most important thing now is to keep the kid safe, so he cuts the rope. He tunes out Dustin’s wails and screams and pushes the mattress away so his little friend doesn’t do something stupid, like jumping back through the gate.
He picks the spear and the second shield back up and bursts through the front door. Dozens of eyes turn towards him and the screeches get more intense. Claws scrape against the wooden walls and wings flutter.
Eddie’s eyes dash to the bikes they dropped in front of the trailer the night before. He sprints over and grabs the first one he can reach, pedaling away as the swarm of bats takes off behind him.
Ow! Fuck!!
So this is what it feels like…
Harrington, you badass.
Every bite burns. No matter how hard he thrashes around, there is no way out. His limbs are pinned, the tail around his neck suffocating him increasingly.
He is in the eye of the storm of flapping wings, piercing claws, and squawking jaws. Red lightning zaps through the sky, but he can’t hear the thunder over the roaring bats.
The pain that comes with every bite is blinding. The tails around his limbs constrict the bloodflow and his fingers slowly get cold. His chest, on the other hand, is burning with an onslaught of claws and teeth ripping into his skin. The agony becomes overwhelming.
Eddie is not sure if he passes out, but with every new wound, the adrenaline brings him back. Still trapped in an endless cycle of torture.
I just want it to be over…
The fight is seeping out of him with every bit that gets ripped out of him. He can’t feel his hands anymore. He isn’t even sure if he still has legs, everything numb with pain.
Dark wings flap above him as another bat breaks out of the vortex of creatures to attack him.
Eddie lets his eyes fall shut, lulling his head back as he prepares for another blow. Only it doesn’t hit. With a pained shriek, the bat crashes near his head, the sharp wings gashes open the soft skin on his cheek.
The beats of the wings get more erratic, the constant clatter of squawks turns into sharp piercing squeals. For a moment, Eddie is met with absolute silence, and then there’s a stream of thuds as the bats tumble out of the sky and hit the ground.
With a whimper, the small monsters around him kneel over, easing up the tails around his limbs, until they curl up and slowly pass away.
Holy fucking shit! They made it! They really made it.
Eddie looks up at the distorted night sky with a proud smile, but his relief is short-lived when a familiar voice hollers over the vacant trailer park.
God, Dustin. You little shit.
The boy hobbles over the grayish meadow and drops to his knees right by Eddie’s side. The way he fusses over Eddie brings out a tired smile.
“Bad, huh?”
“No, no, no.” Dustin’s voice comes out hurriedly and high. “You're gonna be fine. We just gotta get you to a hospital, okay?”
Dustin tries his best to get Eddie up, but his limbs feel too heavy. The tips of his fingers tingle when he tries to cup Dustin’s squishy little face, but they don’t move. When Eddie coughs, the taste of blood blooms in his mouth.
Fuck! That’s bad.
The rustling and rousing is setting off the pain once more, and Eddie has to grit his teeth to suppress a cry at the throbbing torment.
“I think I just… I think I just need a second, okay?”
Dustin cradles him close and soothingly runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair. That’s the sensation Eddie focuses on. Everything else seems burdensome. He makes Dustin promise to look after Hellfire and all the lost little sheep. Tears stream down the kids face and Eddie so desperately wants to wipe them away but his muscles don’t comply.
There is something on the tip of his tongue, something he’ll now never get to say to his soulmate. But he can say it to Dustin and it’ll be no less the truth.
“I love you, man.”
With all his remaining power he forces his lips into a smile. A single tear slips out at the corner of his eye as Dustin returns the sentiment.
Eddie’s mind wanders to all the people he loves. All the people he won’t see again. Hellfire, Corroded Coffin, damn, even Nancy, Robin and the whole party of kids. Rick, the father he never had. Wayne, the only family he had.
A deep sob rips through Eddie but he doesn’t even feel the pain from jousting the wounds.
Eddie loves them all and he hopes they’ll get to live a happy life, even without him there.
His last thoughts belong to Steve. Filled with love for the tiny idea of hope for what could have happened between them as soulmates. But there’s also a gut wrenching sense of guilt and regret.
If I die now, Steve will never know… His arms will stay bare and he'll forever wonder if his soulmate is still somewhere out there, unaware of the fact that I was his, already long gone.
I should have said something. Anything.
The moment the spark burned through him, he should have told Steve, dealing with the consequences. But like with everything, Eddie ran. He hid away the fact, effectively leaving the person who was supposed to become the most important one in his life, in the dark. Forever unsparked. All because Eddie couldn't find the courage to say a few little words to his soulmate. Not able to utter a sound.
Why was it so hard? Why couldn’t I just say it?
And now it's too late.
He can feel his fingers grow colder as they refuse to follow his will. Blood is pooling down, creating a revolting sensation of wet warmth at his lower back. The corners of his vision grow hazy and he looks up to the night sky, wishing he could see the stars one last time.
Then everything goes dark.