Work Text:
“GET DOWN! You have to get down!” Eddie’s voice rang through the quiet firehouse.
It was the first break they’d had after a long 12 hrs of constant calls and the members of the 118 were soaking up every moment of q**** they could. Chim played solitaire at the kitchen table while he waited for a FaceTime from Maddie to say goodnight to Jee. Hen was dozing off as she read a book on the couch and Bobby caught up on his paper work. Buck and Eddie, having done a difficult rope rescue on their last call were sleeping it off in the bunk room.
It had only been about 45 minutes since they had gone to sleep when Buck woke up to Eddie’s mumbling.
“Ed’s?” He whispered his eyes still closed unsure if he dreamt it. Then he heard a whimper and he knew he definitely didn’t dream it. He was out of bed and besides Eddie in a moment. Eddie rolled over restlessly and Buck could see the layer of sweat cover his body despite the trembling. His brows were furrowed and he continued to mumble but Buck couldn’t make out anything coherent. Something about going round back he wasn’t sure.
After another whimper he couldn’t see Eddie struggle any longer though, he had to wake him up. He was mindful not to touch him but he leaned closer and called “Eddie” a bit louder.
Eddie’s eyes opened wide and Buck let out a sigh of relief “you’re okay Ed’s it was a nightmare” and that’s where he messed up because he placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. He knew better than that.
Eddie reacted instantly twisting Bucks wrist away from him and swinging a punch straight to his jaw. Buck dropped to the floor gracelessly with an “oomph”. His vision blurred and he laid on his back for a moment watching Eddie continue speaking to someone behind them. He then shouted “GET DOWN! You have to get down!”
“Eds it’s okay, whatever you’re seeing it’s not real okay. Just- ”.
Before Buck could continue Eddie had straddled him and his hands wrapped around Buck neck in a tight grip. Buck gasped loudly “Ed’s” he whispered his hands instinctively trying to pry Eddie’s hands off him. He had enough strength in his lower body to fight back and try overpowering Eddie right now but he didn’t want to risk hurting him.
His visions began to slowly blur and darken around the edges, but he heard the break room door open loudly “EDDIE!” Chim shouted taking a step forward. Eddie finally let go and sat back half on Buck and half.
Buck coughed harshly and gasped as his body dealt with the oxygen finally making its way through him. He raised his hand up to Chim and Hen stopping them from coming any closer. Overwhelming Eddie right now wouldn’t help anyone and especially not Eddie.
“Eds“ Buck tried as he started sitting up slowly.
He didn’t have a chance before Eddie pushed him down gently “Greggs! I’ve got you, okay. It’s okay I’ve got you” he said through gritted teeth.
Buck had seen Eddie trapped in nightmares and flashbacks before. But never to this level. Eddie’s eyes were wide open, his pupils large. His face creased in fear and heartbreak. It was hard to see Eddie so haunted by what he went through.
“Ed’s it’s me Buck”
“Buck maybe-“ Hen started but was cut off by Eddie shaking his head “it’s okay I can save him”
Eddie started doing compressions on Buck with full force. Buck grunted as Eddie aggressively pushed down on his chest “Ed’s you have to wake up okay. It’s a flashback-“ he gasped harshly feeling Eddie’s weight on him but he continued “you’re in LA. You’re a firefighter. You’re at the 118. It’s me. It’s Buck not Greggs okay” Eddie’s compressions became weaker and Buck wasn’t sure if it was exhaustion or if he was finally getting through to him but he continued talking despite the pain “We’re going to see Chris after this shift remember. We’ll go to the aquarium because there’s the new exhibit on clownfish-” Buck coughed his throat burning
“Buck?” Eddie asked still confused
“Yeah Eds it’s me. You back with me?”
Eddie was silent. And Buck realised Eddie wasn’t entirely sure, so he kept going “maybe after the aquarium you can take me and Chris” he coughs harshly but continues “to that ice cream place he loves. The one where the lady at the counter gives him extra chocolate chips just because he’s the cutest kid”.
He can see Eddie physically relax and sag in relief. He brought his free hand up and held onto Eddie’s hand. It was risky this close after the flashback and Eddie’s startled eyes showed as much. But Buck wasn’t sure his throat could bear talking much longer “you’re okay Eds. You’re here with me okay. I’ve got you”
And that seemed to finally break Eddie. He let out a heart-breaking sob “Buck I couldn’t save him”.
Buck tried to sit up to comfort him but his chest and ribs protested and he fell back to the ground with a grunt of pain “oh god” Eddie cried as he finally got off Buck completely and took in the scene in front of him.
He saw the split lip and the sting at his knuckles would be the only explanation for that. He saw the red marks around bucks neck and then felt the scratch marks on the back of his hands from where Buck struggled under his hands. His mind provided the feeling of Bucks neck under his palms and he shuddered. He saw Bucks ribs protest at sitting up and felt the ribs he pushed on when giving him compressions.
Buck saw Eddie stare at him in horror as the memories of what was actually happening came back to him “I’m fine Eds.”
The remaining lights switched on around them and Eddie could see in detail the damage he had done. He looked up to see Hen walk in with a med kit “let me be the judge of that Buckaroo”
Buck looked over having forgotten her and Chim had witnessed some of what happened. Chim wasn’t there anymore, and the door had been locked shut. Buck gave her a grateful smile. He turned back to Eddie who still looked devastated. He squeezed Eddie’s hand in his forcing Eddie to look at him “I’m okay”.
Hen came round to Buck and began examining him. She took off his shirt and Eddie assessed the damage he did. He saw the harsh outlines of his hands around his neck and the hand prints in bruises already forming on his chest “oh god Buck I’m so sorry” he cried “I’m so so sorry” how could he have done this. How could he ever fix this.
“Hey, hey, Eds it’s fine. You know I bruise easy, it looks a lot worse than it is okay”
Eddie wished he could believe that but he knows Buck more than anyone. He heard the change in his voice because it obviously hurt to talk and he saw the small creases on his forehead caused by the pain as Hen held the stethoscope on his chest.
“Is he okay” Eddie asked Hen softly after she completed her check up.
Hen looked up at him sympathetically and her eyes showed no judgement just worry and love. She nodded “he’s okay. Just some pretty bad bruising on his ribs/chest and around his throat.“ she turned to Buck here eyebrows raised “you’re gonna be sore for a few days, so you have to take it easy. Put some of the pain relief gel from the med kit in Bobby’s office. It’ll help with the bruising too. I’ll put it in your locker for you now. If the swelling on your throat becomes worse you have to go to the ER Buck.”
Buck nodded “promise”
“Bobby said when you’re ready, you both can go home. There’s not long on the shift anyways” she says packing her med bag up. She put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and it conveyed everything she wanted to say to him before she left them to it.
Once the door shut closed Buck started sitting up. Eddie was there to help him, his hand on his back and supporting him up. Buck gave him an amused smile “I’m okay Eds. Really”
But Eddie couldn’t hear him over the bruises that showed him what he did to his best friend.
Buck pulled himself up with a wince and sat up on the bed Eddie was sleeping on earlier. “What triggered it?” He asked carefully as Eddie helped him put his shirt back on.
“Huh?”
“Well, I’ve seen you have nightmares before. Flashbacks too when there’s too many fireworks. But never so vivid and intense. Was it something on call?”
Eddie nodded but didn’t respond and Buck let the silence linger knowing Eddie would elaborate when he’s ready. “Greggs died 9 years ago today.” He said after a moment “When Chim was doing compressions on the patient in our last call it kind of just brought it back.”
Buck nodded even though he knew he’d never understand what Eddie truly went through; he’d always listen “you wanna talk about it?”
“Why didn’t you fight back?” He asked instead
“What?”
“You’re bigger than me.”
“Rude”
“Buck I’m serious. You could have pushed me off. I know you know that” Eddie said slightly accusingly.
Buck looked down avoiding eye contact “I- erm- I… well, I didn’t want to hurt you. You just you already looked to hurt with whatever you were re-living and I figured I’d just talk you out of it somehow. Like I always do.”
Eddie’s gaze softened “Buck I don’t ever want to hurt you either.” He made it a point to turn Buck to face him and look into his eyes “I want you to promise me that if I ever do this shit again. If I ever try and hurt you. You will fight back and stop me. Buck please. I cannot bear the thought of hurting you. I’d much rather a knock out punch from you then ever being the reason that there are bruises on you”
Buck hesitates but sees the pleading look in Eddie’s eyes and nods “okay, promise” Eddie looked slightly relieved so Buck continued “I mean I promise to try. You pack quite a punch you know”
Eddie winced and the words “sorry to soon?” Buck smiled sheepishly.
Eddie smiled his eyes softening as he looked at Buck. His hand made its way up to Bucks lip and lightly touched the cut before caressing the remaining of his lip. Buck looked at him with nothing but unadulterated lust and Eddie realised that he was staring at his lips.
The knock on the door had them both flinch away from each other as Chim pushed his head through a small gap. “Hey guys, just checking on you. Caps made some hot chocolate upstairs if you want to join before you leave?”
“I could use some hot chocolate” Buck said.
Eddie hesitated and Buck grabbed his hand “It’s okay Eddie. I’ve got your back. We’ll get through this together”