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English
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Published:
2025-06-20
Updated:
2025-10-23
Words:
12,674
Chapters:
9/14
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145
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Odysseus and the Magic Sandals

Summary:

Odysseus is a good parent. He is a great parent. But he sometimes gets so tired of his men asking dumb questions or even just questioning his choices. So, he uses the magic of his sandals.

Or...
A collection of short stories of the times when Odysseus gets fed up with his crew and decides to whack them all with his sandal. And sometimes it isn't only his crew who gets this treatment...

Notes:

My first EPIC fic! Yayy!! Honestly, I've been obsessed with this musical for the past month and I always knew I wanted to write for the fandom, but didn't know what. So here's this silly little idea that has been floating around my head for a while now.

Chapter 1: Full Speed Ahead

Summary:

Based on the song: Full Speed Ahead, the crew set out to their journey back to Ithaca. Immediately problems arise, but Odysseus knows how to handle them.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It all started during the war. Back, when Odysseus was busy planning their victory, the huge wooden horse and their attack. It was no secret that through it all, Odysseus’s crew, then men from Ithaca, all came to him for advice. Not just strategic, but other advice as well. How should they approach another king? How should they deal with feelings? How should they deal with anxiety?

It was all thanks to Odysseus, that his crew was still alive and considering the war they were still in pretty good shape. With a few more scrapes and bandages than they came with, but in a good shape nonetheless.

And Odysseus thought, now that they had the easy job of just sailing home, all of that would stop. He could basically relax, his only job being to direct the twelve ships in his small fleet all the way home.

Or so he thought.

Because then came Eurylochus.

“Captain,” his second in command started. “It seems that the food we got isn’t gonna be enough for our journey home.”

“It has only been five days…” Odysseus sighed.

“It’s the war!” a crewmate close to the two shouted.

“Yeah, curse the war!”

“It depleted our supplies!”

The crew around him kept shouting their distaste.

“Okay, okay,” Odysseus sighed and put his hands up, the crew quieting. “Let’s watch and follow the birds. They always head for the nearest islands for rest and food,” he pointed at some seagulls that passed by above them.

“Men! You heard our captain! Everyone get ready, we’re off to the closest island!” Eurylochus shouted so the order could be heard by everyone. “There, we’ll get food!”

“Good,” Odysseus sighed, watching the distance.

The truth is, Odysseus wasn’t only happy about traveling home to see his son and wife. No, that was one thing, one huge thing. But the other reason for his happiness was the peace he was finally going to get. No more of his crew’s idiocies, their absurd questions and him having to deal with their questionable love lives… they’d all be gone. Done with. He wouldn’t have to… basically parent these grown men. Andー

“Captain!” a sweet, melodious voice called out to him.

“Polites!” Odysseus looked towards the man, who he often referred to as ‘his ray of sunshine’.

“Look!” an arm was slung around his shoulders, pulling him close, while the other pointed to a specific point on the horizon. “There’s the island!”

And sure it was. Small as it was, but growing bigger as they rowed for it.

“I can see some light as well,” Polites hummed. “Maybe there are some nice people there, they could lend us food!”

“I’m… not so sure about that…” Odysseus started, just to be interrupted by his second in command.

“We could strike first, take what we can,” Eurylochus stood by his other side, watching the island as well.

“We really shouldn’t! Why can’t we just ask?”

“We can’t risk it! Our men are hungry!”

“And? They might be hungry too!” Polites argued, pointing to the island which grew closer and closer.

“We just survived a war! We need to–”

“No,” Odysseus stopped him finally, sensing Polites’ worry and frustration rolling off of him. “We had enough bloodshed.”

“But sir–” Eurylochus started.

Odysseus pulled his sandal off in one quick movement, and hit Eurylochus on the back of his head.

“Ow!” he hissed.

“No,” Odysseus said, annoyed now. He could feel the crew watching the three of them. “Polites,” he turned toward the man with a much gentler look. “Grab anything that might be essential. We’ll take a look at the island.”

“Okay,” Polites smiled brightly, making Odysseus’ heart jump a tiny bit as he skipped away.

“What?!” Eurylochus, still rubbing at the back of his head, looked at them incredulously. “We don’t know what awaits there!”

“And we won’t if we don’t check it out,” Odysseus sighed.

“You could both die there!”

“Just give me some time!” Odysseus hit his arm this time. “We have an army to feed. I’ll make sure they’re fed, but I can’t do that, if you keep doubting me and my power!”

“But–” Odysseus lifted his sandal once more, which shut Eurylochus up. For a man his size, Odysseus’ strength was quite something. “Sorry,” he muttered instead.

“Thank you,” the Ithacan king sighed and pulled his sandal back on. “Now, full speed ahead, men!”

The crew, not daring to piss off the captain even more, said nothing and just propelled them forward until they were close to the island. Polites joined him soon and as they docked, the two got off the ship to explore, hoping to find something to gather or hunt.

Odysseus could only hope and pray to whichever god would listen that his crew wouldn’t do anything dumb while he was away. And with Polites by his side, his worries couldn’t cloud his head for long.

Notes:

A short chapter, but a really fun start to this adventure. Hope you guys enjoyed it! The next chapter will be out on Sunday!