Chapter Text
Castiel’s summer ends with a patch of pumpkins and an unusual meeting.
He trudges across the field and down the hill towards the bus stop, his backpack heavy with the last two months of his life spent at summer camp. He has thought about calling Gabriel or Anna, who would probably be happy to pick him up, but they’re college students and their classes must have already started — plus, the weather is nice enough to walk the mile or so to the bus stop. This way, he can pretend the summer’s not over yet; he can avoid all the questions and responsibilities that will surely fall on his head as soon as he gets home.
He almost stumbles over the big orange pumpkins that grow in the field. He looks at them and feels a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite the sour feeling in his stomach. A few more weeks and they will be ready to be picked and carved and used for pies. Summer is slowly coming to an end and Castiel doesn’t necessarily like it — he’d had the time of his life at camp, after all — but at least autumn will be here soon. Autumn is like a penultimate chapter of a book, which he likes the best: there’s still time until everything ends, the action is usually at its peak, and Castiel can spend whole days savouring these second-to-last words, just as he spends hours staring at the red leaves and the autumn sky.
After a while, he finally crosses the street and heads towards the bus stop. It looks like a small wooden hut with a slanted roof and a bench. He stands for a moment, reading the schedule, and when it turns out he still has twenty minutes until the bus arrives he sighs, puts his backpack on the ground, and slides down to sit on the bench and wallow in his misery.
Two minutes later he’s pulled out of his thoughts by loud voices. Castiel fidgets on the bench and drags his luggage closer to him.
“Ugh, come on, dad,” someone says.
Castiel leans out, curious. He smiles nervously when he sees the entire Shurley family drawing near. Of course — Castiel is back home for half an hour and the first person he meets is the town drunk, Chuck, along with his three children. Nothing ever changes, does it?
Chuck Shurley is quite a nice man and not that bad of a father but, unfortunately, he’s drunk more often than not. He’s supposed to be a writer, but Castiel doesn’t think he’s very successful, judging from all the financial problems the Shurleys struggle with. Right now, Chuck’s arm is slung over his oldest son’s shoulders and he’s muttering something under his breath. Apart from keeping his father up, Inias is also holding his younger brother, Alfie, who seems close to passing out. Castiel’s stomach clenches unpleasantly when he notices the blood and the bruises on his young face. He stands up.
The youngest child of the family, Hael, is the first to notice him. She grins at him and waves. She can’t be older than six.
“Hello, Mr. Shurley,” Castiel greets. Inias looks at him and nods, but doesn’t smile. “Let me help.”
“If you could just...” Inias glances at Alfie, who clings to his arm, and sends Castiel a helpless look.
“Yes. Of course.” Castiel grabs Alfie by his shoulders and helps to guide him to the bus stop, carefully sitting him down on the bench. The kid’s head lolls down to Castiel’s shoulder.
Hael climbs onto the bench on Castiel’s other side and looks up at him with a smile. He looks away.
“Thank you,” Inias says grimly as he helps his father sit on the bench and tries to keep him moderately straight.
Castiel smiles awkwardly, Alfie’s head heavy on his shoulder.
“What happened?” he asks, but Inias doesn’t respond, just turns away to study the bus schedule.
“We found daddy behind the pub,” Hael informs happily, “and Alfie defended him when those other guys—”
“Hael,” Inias hisses. “Stop bothering him.”
“But he asked—”
“It’s okay,” Castiel says.
“Just stop, Hael.” Inias glares at his sister and continues reading the schedule.
The girl huffs and starts dangling her legs. Castiel feels completely out of place and tries to gently push Alfie off him, but the boy seems unconscious. Castiel puts an arm around his waist to keep him up and touches his neck to find a pulse. He breathes out, relieved, when he finds it.
Fifteen more minutes. He can do it.
After three minutes, Hael gets bored and hops off the bench to examine Castiel’s luggage.
“Where are you going?” she asks curiously.
“Home,” he answers. “I’ve been away for the summer.”
Hael’s eyes grow wide. “Wow. Have you ever been to Arizona?”
Castiel thinks for a moment. “I think I have. I’m not sure; I could have been really small.”
“Can you take me there? I want to see this big canyon, but Inias doesn’t wanna go.”
“The Grand Canyon?” Castiel asks and the girl nods enthusiastically. “Well. I’ve never seen it, either, so you’re not alone. I’m sure you’ll be able to go there someday.”
Hael doesn’t seem convinced but she busies herself with poking at Castiel’s backpack again. He lets her do it and stares blindly at the pumpkins still visible in the field. There’s an unpleasant churning in his stomach.
He blinks himself out of his thoughts when he hears another set of loud footsteps. Hael lifts her head, too.
There is a boy approaching them, dressed in ratty jeans and a nice-fitting t-shirt. He stops in front of them and grins, green eyes interested and wide.
“Hey, guys,” Dean Winchester says.
Mr. Shurley jerks awake at the noise and looks around with bleary eyes. Dean waves at him and laughs.
“I’m almost late,” Dean says and frowns down at his phone for a second. “But I don’t think Baby’s gonna leave without me, right, guys? What’s up?” Then his eyes land on Castiel and his eyebrows shot up. “Hey, you’re not a Shurley.”
Castiel gapes at him for a few seconds but when he opens his mouth to respond, Dean laughs.
“You’re a Novak, aren’t you?” Dean winks at him and Castiel can feel the points of his ears go red. Dean Winchester is a senior at his high school, just a year older than Castiel. He’s also popular, funny, and handsome. Obviously. Castiel didn’t realise Dean Winchester would be aware of his existence, let alone know his name. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“He’s been away,” Hael pipes in with a smile.
“I figured,” Dean says. He bends to ruffle the girl’s hair and then eyes Alfie, who’s still half-lying on Castiel. “What’s up with him?” he asks quietly and looks at Castiel as if he was responsible for the kid.
“He’s a hero,” Hael states proudly.
Dean grins at her. “‘Course he is. You’ll take good care of your big brother, won’t you, sweetie?”
Mr. Shurley, who’s looking at them with confusion written all over his face, points a finger at Castiel and asks, “Who are you?”
Castiel clears his throat. “I’m Castiel, sir.”
“Don’t know any Cassiel,” Mr. Shurley slurs and lets his head hang low.
Castiel wants to correct him but he can feel Dean looking at him with interest. He meets his eyes for a short moment, and when Dean sends him a smile, Castiel looks back down again.
“Awesome,” Dean says, apropos of nothing, sounding distracted. “Okay, guys, thanks for the chat! Gotta rush before the close the shop.”
Hael beams at him. “Bye, Dean!”
Dean waves and winks, then looks at Alfie with a small frown. “Make sure you take care of him, okay?” he asks no one in particular, and then he’s gone.
Soon, Hael starts climbing into Castiel’s lap.
Only ten more minutes.
He spends the time trying to ignore Hael’s chattering and Mr. Shurley’s mumblings. Alfie is still barely awake and Inias seems to be ignoring everything around him. Fifteen minutes later, the bus finally arrives. Castiel puts Alfie’s arm over his own shoulders and drags him slowly into the vehicle. The boy wakes but is still too weak to stand on his own, so Castiel hugs him tightly to his side while Inias pays for their tickets. Hael is already pulling her father onto one of the vacant seats at the end of the bus.
Then the driver says something and Inias answers, “But I… I don’t have any more money. And I thought—”
“Here.” Castiel reaches to his pocket before he can even think. “I think I have some.”
Inias takes the money, his face bright red and eyes cast down. Castiel tries to send him a reassuring smile, but the boy scurries away as soon as he gets the tickets. Castiel pays for himself and goes over to where the Shurleys are seated, Hael in her oldest brother’s lap, Mr. Shurley behind them and Alfie with an empty seat beside him. Castiel sits down and lets the kid’s head fall back onto his shoulder.
After a while, Alfie’s head starts to feel heavy on Castiel’s shoulder, his breath warm against Castiel’s neck. He can hear Hael chattering in the seat behind them. He concentrates on looking out the window instead, admiring the shades of brown and yellow visible on every passing tree.
“Did you have a good summer?” Alfie mumbles after a while.
Castiel can’t help but smile. “Yes. Very. What about you?”
“Yeah… I think.”
Castiel hums. “Are you excited about going back to school?” he asks, even though it seems like the most boring question he could have thought of.
Alfie doesn’t seem to mind, though. “A bit,” he mutters and then seems to fall asleep again.
Castiel turns back to watching the trees and soon the bus arrives at Castiel’s stop. He gathers his things, touches Alfie’s head, and nods to Inias. Both Hael and Mr. Shurley are asleep now.
After a while, he’s finally home. No one greets him when he opens the door and comes in. The house appears empty and lifeless; Anna and Gabriel are probably out and won’t be back until later this evening. Castiel kicks off his shoes and heads towards the stairs.
“Castiel?” he hears from the living room.
For a moment, he considers ignoring her, but eventually he sighs, puts his backpack on the ground, and goes to see his stepmother for the first time in two months.
She’s sitting on the couch, with a cup in one hand and a magazine in the other.
“Castiel,” she greets him officially.
Castiel feels like a total stranger.
“Naomi,” he says and nods curtly.
“Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes,” she informs and smiles politely.
No ‘welcome home’, then. No ‘how was your holiday, honey’. Nothing. Not that he’s expected it. Not that he even wants to hear it. And if Naomi ever called him ‘honey’, he would probably run away, scarred for life.
“Of course,” he answers, nods one more time and, seeing that Naomi isn’t paying him any attention anymore, he runs upstairs and locks himself in his room. His luggage ends up on the floor when he throws himself onto the bed and buries his face in the pillows. They’re fresh and fluffy, just as he likes them, and here, in his room, he finally feels a bit better about the end of the summer.
***
Everyone at Lawrence High School knows Dean Winchester. Most importantly, at least half of the students are or have been in love with him.
It’s not that Dean sleeps around, not any more than an average teenager. He doesn’t date all that much — Castiel has noticed he doesn’t seem like the relationship type and his affairs usually don’t last longer than a month or two, tops.
The thing is that Dean Winchester is charming. Apart from being unusually attractive — the whole six feet of slender muscles, sharp jawline, and bright green eyes — he’s talkative and kind and flirty. It doesn’t seem particularly difficult for him to chat up virtually anybody, which is a skill which Castiel has always admired. There aren’t many people that hate Dean, maybe with the exception of those whose hearts have been inadvertently broken by Dean’s flighty attitude towards relationships.
Castiel has been telling himself he doesn’t care for Dean Winchester for the two years he’s attended high school — he doesn’t actually know him, after all — but he recognises the lie every time Dean smiles at him in the hallway. It’s pathetic really, since he probably doesn’t even know Castiel’s name…
At least that’s what he always assumed. After what happened at the bus stop, he’s a bit more puzzled.
It’s Friday afternoon and Castiel is washing his hands in the school bathroom on the first floor. It’s the second week of the school year and Castiel already feels he has way too much homework. Classes have already ended about half an hour ago, but Castiel needed to stay in the library for a bit longer and read up on American history for a class next week.
He’s trying not to think about how the entire school has been talking about the biggest news yet — Dean’s new girlfriend. All Castiel knows about her is that her name is Abaddon, she’s a senior, just like Dean, and she’s unusually attractive. He saw them together yesterday during lunch; the girl was leaning over Dean as he sat in his chair, her long red hair falling over her shoulder and his hands on her hips.
Obviously, Castiel’s attempts at not thinking about it fail.
He’s about to walk out of the bathroom when suddenly the door is kicked open and almost hits him in the face.
“Oh shit!” Dean yells in surprise.
Castiel feels his eyes widen. Dean is panting heavily, his face flushed and hair in disarray.
“Dude,” Dean says after a few seconds of staring. “I’m not here, okay? Don’t tell her I’m here!”
And then, without another word, he disappears inside one of the empty bathroom stalls.
Castiel blinks, confused, but before he has a chance to say something or react, he hears loud footsteps from outside and then Abaddon is entering the bathroom.
“Where is he?” she asks, voice low and slow.
Castiel’s mind feels blank. “What?” he stutters.
Abaddon’s lips stretch in an angry smile. “He’s here, isn’t he?”
Castiel takes a few steps back, towards the stalls. “I’m sorry but you can’t be here. The girls’ restroom is down the hall.”
Abaddon shakes her head, red hair a bit wild. “Listen, kid. I know he’s here. I saw him coming in here. So, just, do me a favour and get lost,” she says and winks at him.
Castiel frowns. “No. I’m not finished yet,” he mutters, turns around, and slides inside the stall Dean has entered just a moment ago. The door doesn’t have a lock so he decides to hold onto the handle just to be safe.
He doesn’t want to look back at Dean just yet.
“Deaaaan,” Abaddon crows from the outside. “Dean, darling. Come out from there and talk to me.”
“Get out of here!” Dean responds. “Seriously, Abbie, I told you I don’t wanna talk!”
“I don’t care,” the girls says. “We’re not finished. I told you we’re not finished!”
“Oh yeah, we’re finished,” Dean says with a snort. Castiel risks a glance over his shoulder at him. Dean catches his eyes and makes a face. “You freaking slapped that girl, and for what, for talking to me? You’re insane, Abbie. It’s over.”
“Are you seriously breaking up with me through the bathroom door?” Abaddon laughs loudly. “You’re a swine, Dean.”
Dean groans. “Just leave me alone.”
Castiel hears the girl stomp angrily.
“Alright. Your choice. On Monday, everyone will know about this,” she seethes.
“Oh, yeah, I can’t wait,” Dean mutters.
They hear more footsteps, some indignant huffing, and then the door slams loudly. Castiel turns around slowly to face Dean.
“Thanks, man,” Dean says. He doesn’t look like the breakup is bothering him too much. “I owe you one.”
“That’s alright,” Castiel says. “She sounded really angry. I would be afraid, too, if I were you.”
Dean laughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. “That’s… that’s not it. I’m not afraid of her, dude, she’s just creepy. Can you believe she thought I was cheating on her with a junior? A freaking junior. All I did was chat with the girl for a few minutes and she… she just hit her! She’s insane.”
Castiel nods because he doesn’t know what else to say. He’s never had such problems before, and even if he did, Dean wouldn’t want to hear about them.
“I believe she’s gone now,” Castiel says and opens the door.
“Yeah.” Dean follows him outside, then stops just in front of the door of the restroom. “Hey, could you… I think she might still be there. Mind checking the hall for me?” Dean flashes him a wide grin. Castiel tries his best not to blush.
“Of course,” he mutters.
Dean steps back and Castiel pokes his head through the door. The hall seems empty and quiet so he beckons Dean forward with his hand.
Dean slides through right beside him, patting Castiel’s shoulder, and muttering, ‘Thanks, Novak,’ just before winking and walking out of the bathroom.
Castiel has mere seconds to hyperventilate over the fact that Dean Winchester has just touched him and winked at him before suddenly he hears a girlish scream from somewhere down the hall. He goes out of the restroom and notices Abaddon storming over to them. Then he sees Dean’s panicked face.
“Come on!” Castiel says and, without thinking, pulls at the sleeve of Dean’s jacket. They run down the hall, Abaddon’s footsteps slowly fading behind them. Castiel turns into smaller hallway and pushes open the door leading to the quiet little courtyard he discovered some months ago.
Dean plops down onto the bench while Castiel makes sure the girl hasn’t followed them.
“I think we’re safe here for a while,” he says.
“Whew! Oh man, you saved my ass.” Dean laughs and looks around. “How’d you find this place, anyway?”
Castiel shrugs. He doesn’t really want to tell Dean Winchester about how sometimes he needs a place to be alone when being among the crowds tires him out. Dean wouldn’t understand.
“It’s awesome. A good place to bring a girl to, eh?” Castiel winces, but Dean misreads the grimace. “Not that girl, obviously. Someone less creepy. Someone nicer.”
Castiel shuffles his feet, unsure of what to do next. Dean ignores him, though, still looking around and smiling. Then he glances back at Castiel. “You think she’s gone? I don’t want to stay here forever.”
Castiel resists the urge to scowl at him. Dean may be handsome and friendly and popular, but Castiel has just introduced him to his secret hiding place and this is how Dean reacts to it? “There is a different exit, leading to the back of the school. Even if she’s still inside, she will not notice you.”
“Really?” Dean gets up eagerly. “Well then, I think that’s my cue to leave. Where is it?”
Wordlessly, Castiel points at the gate behind Dean’s back.
“Alrighty! Thanks again, Novak, I owe you. And go home soon, it’s Friday, man!” Dean says and grins.
Castiel blinks at him stupidly and then Dean waves and goes away without another word.
***
Over the weekend, Castiel finally finds some time to read through the goodbye letters from people at the camp. He’s in the middle of reading the one from his friend Rachel and smiling at the memories when someone knocks at his door. Castiel nearly upends his tea, then looks up to see Anna’s bright red head poking through the door.
“Hi, Castiel.” She smiles. “What’s up?”
“Uhm.” Castiel puts the letter down to his lap. “Nothing, really.”
“Homework?”
“Not really,” he says and tries to hide the letter but his half-sister is quicker.
She snatches it and reads aloud, “’Dear Castiel…’ Oh my God!” she shouts, excited. “Are those love letters?”
“No,” he hisses and reaches out. “Give it back.”
“‘Meeting you was one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me,’” she continues as if she didn’t hear him. “‘I’ve had a wonderful time and I hope we will see each other again someday. These two months we’ve spent together were—’”
“Give it to me, Anna!”
“‘I feel blessed...’ Gee, was it some kind of a religious camp or something?” Anna snickers but gives the letter back to him.
“No,” he mutters. “Quite the reverse. The people there were just… very special.”
“Oh God. ‘Very special’ doesn’t really sound good, you know? And what do you mean by ‘quite the reverse’? It wasn’t a cult or anything, was it, Castiel?” Now she starts to sound worried.
Castiel gathers all the letters and ties them together with a ribbon.
“No, Anna,” he says with a small smile. “It was just a regular camp. Nothing religious — or unreligious — about it. That letter… my friend Rachel wrote it. And, well. She was quite religious, but it has nothing to do with it. She was just… she was just kind of gentle, you know?” Castiel stands up and sits on the edge of his bed. Anna joins him. “She was very friendly and kind. That’s why it may sound weird. But I can assure you — some of the other letters are nothing like that one.” He laughs quietly when Anna’s eyes go wide for a second.
“Castiel, you bastard! Now I want to read them!” She grins at him and pretends to reach for the letters.
“Get off!” he laughs and hides them under his pillows. “Get your own.”
“Well, Castiel, I’m afraid I don’t have so many friends,” she says with a smile.
Castiel feels himself blush. “Yeah. I know. I mean… You know I don’t, either. It’s just… Everyone was so friendly there. We all really grew attached to one another. And I know it’s weird because normally I am nothing like that—”
Anna touches his shoulder gently. “It’s not weird, Castiel. It’s normal. I’m glad you’ve made so many new friends.”
He looks down at his knees. His cheeks feel hot. “It’s not even that, you know. I was… I was kind of popular there. I mean, at the camp.” He glances at his half-sister who’s still smiling. “Me, Anna. Popular.”
“That’s really great, Castiel.”
He shakes his head. “No, you don’t understand. It wasn’t only that I had many friends. Everyone, and I mean everyone, knew who I was… And I liked it.”
“Of course you liked it. Everyone likes to be liked,” Anna says and she sounds serious. “Do you miss it?”
Castiel sighs. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’d like it if everyone at school knew me. People at the camp were… different. It was different.”
Anna smiles, her eyes kind. “I’m sure people at school like you too, Castiel. I know it may be difficult but, well, it’s high school. High school is always difficult.”
Castiel looks at her and smiles back. They stay quiet for a moment. Castiel hesitates, then — he and Anna like and trust each other but he doesn’t always tell her everything. Now, though, he really feels like confessing something. The camp was a great experience and he has no one to talk to about it.
He decides to open his mouth and just say it. “I was with someone.”
Anna blinks at him and then a grin spread over her face. “Oh my God, Castiel! Really? Awesome!”
Castiel bites his lower lip. “Yes. And, and… As you know, I’ve never been with anyone before—”
“Hey, it’s okay, everyone starts dating at their own time, you know.” She’s still smiling and Castiel feels the corner of his lips turning upwards, too. “So, tell me. Who was she?”
Oh. Right.
For a moment, Castiel considers lying. But then he notices the honest affection in Anna’s eyes and thinks of the two months he’s spent being a true version of himself, someone that didn’t have to be afraid or have to pretend. He doesn’t want to be anyone else anymore, so he tells the truth.
“Actually, I had a boyfriend.”
Anna’s smile falters for a split second and Castiel’s heart almost stops. But then his sister smiles even more kindly, though she still looks somewhat surprised. “What was the name of the lucky guy, then?”
Castiel’s cheeks turn red again but he doesn’t care. “Balthazar.”
Anna taps him on the shoulder. “So, are you gonna see each other again?”
“I don’t know… I’m not sure. He lives in Europe, actually, and arrived to the States only for some time. And we’re not really together anymore… I mean, we’re still friends but we decided that it wouldn’t make sense to— Anyway. No, I don’t think we will. But it’s okay.”
“Wow, this sounds so cool. Did he have an accent?” she asks, hugging her knees to her chest.
Castiel smiles, embarrassed. “He did. English. Although he’s actually from Paris.”
Anna makes a weird, high-pitched noise. “Awww, it all sounds so… international, you know? The international romance. And you know what they say about the French…”
Castiel blushes. Hard.
“Oh my God! Castiel, you sly dog! Did you French-kiss?”
“Oh my God, Anna,” Castiel moans and gets up from the bed, hiding his face behind his hands. “Get out. I don’t wanna talk to you about it.”
She squeals. “You totally did! Oh my God, my little brother’s all grown-up now!” She looks so excited that Castiel can’t stop smiling. “I am so happy for you.”
Castiel peers at her from behind his fingers. “I can see that. Although I don’t really understand why.”
“What do you mean, why? I’m just interested.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I’m not telling you anything else, forget it.”
“Okaaaay. Okay, so… I’ll leave you to it, I suppose. Have fun reading your love letters.” She heads towards the door.
“They’re not—”
“Yeah, sure!” And with that, she’s gone, and Castiel is left staring out his window with a dumb smile plastered onto his face.