Baxill
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Recent works
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What is grief if not love, persevering? by Baxill
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
01 Sep 2025
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“I just thought it was nothing, just a little discomfort. Could it be something serious?”
The doctor looked at him, baffled.
“Headaches and stomach pains for that long isn’t just a ‘little discomfort’, let alone passing out. Let’s hope it is just a form of the flu, but I have to make sure it’s nothing serious. And I can’t help but notice that you have missed your last few preventive medical checkups.”
Alhaitham's mouth fell open.
“What? Kaveh, I reminded you. You said you were going.”
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Kaveh gets sick. Really sick. After being married for five years and finally having Kaveh's debt under control, the couple had hoped to move on from the past grievance and start a family together. Instead, Alhaitham has to come to terms with watching Kaveh die and Kaveh in return has to deal with his concern about how the grief for his husband will change the scribe after he is gone. Hopefully, Alhaitham will learn in time to control his misdirected anger and fulfil his vow to be there for Kaveh. In sickness and in health.
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Everywhere I look I see traces of you by Baxill for depthsofshell (mountain_goats)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Sep 2024
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In a perfect world, Alhaitham had known that something was so very wrong when he opened that door and found nothing but the silence he wished for. Instead, he let out a relieved sigh, tossing his key into a bowl and his coat in the general direction of the coat rack. When he let himself sink into the divan, groaning from the surges of pain troubling him from the many bruises he gained during his overthrowing of the government and kicking his boots off his sore feet, he couldn’t help but think how lucky it was that Kaveh didn’t come home yet.
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When Kaveh doesn't come home from his work trip, Alhaitham tries to deny his concern about the architect. Surely, the blonde just got sidetracked on the way or stopped at one of his friend's house for a visit. There is no reason to panic or to search for him anywhere the scribe could think of, especially since Alhaitham's feelings for him were gone after their fight so many moons ago. But that is exactly what he is doing, chasing after a man he swears he doesn't even like. Maybe the scribe is not as good at hiding his true intentions as he thinks he is.
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If you were to ask someone: “Could the acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham, be depressed?” all you would get as an answer is a huff.
“That guy? Depressed? Since when can an ice cube be depressed? He doesn’t have any feelings. How would that even work?”
Alhaitham has maintained the image of a cold and rational being so carefully that it was almost impossible to look behind the mask and see the truth. Only he knew that he was barely holding on.___
"You can't survive on books alone", Kaveh always told him. Alhaitham finally understands the meaning of these words, but it is already too late. His loneliness has carved his insides out and left him hollow. The severity of his depression goes unnoticed by everyone, including the scribe until it is too late to recover. Kaveh will be proven right once more. Alhaitham won't survive this.
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He should have stayed in bed. He knew it. When he woke up today in the morning, he knew it. As he finally slipped off the shackles of the uneasy sleep he had been burdened with, the gaping hole in his heart, ripped in there by so many things from his past, was hurting like an infected wound. Even though Kaveh felt its presence since his life fell apart many years ago, he mostly managed to ignore it. Sometimes, even when he gets a soothing hug from Alhaitham or he has a particular fun night out with Cyno and Tighnari, he even forgets it. But not today.
Recent bookmarks
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fighting gets old when you're tragically close by Anonymous
Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
17 Dec 2025
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Major warnings for death & suicide
Bookmarked by Baxill
03 Feb 2026
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Yuuri is training in Russia under Yakov. The pressure builds until he finds an unhealthy outlet to cope.
The pressure of perfection was brutal and lethal.
Bookmarked by Baxill
20 Jan 2026
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Otabek comes home to Yuri, and finds him in a state he'd thought his lover left behind.
Bookmarked by Baxill
20 Jan 2026
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Yuuri Katsuki does not eat. Well, he used to. But now?
Now the scale's number becomes less and less, and Yuuri becomes smaller and smaller.
Until, of course, Victor Nikiforov shows up.Bookmarked by Baxill
19 Jan 2026
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In an alternative universe, Yuuri has just won the GPF at Sochi — and he’s miserable. He lost everything that mattered to him several years ago when a tsunami hit Hasetsu, and after throwing himself into his skating, he’s achieved gold, but the win is hollow without others there to share it. Things change when he’s transported to another universe, where GPF champion Victor Nikiforov is about to drown himself in the Black Sea. According to legend, only those with a deep connection can draw someone from across the universe. But Yuuri and Victor have never met before in their respective worlds; perhaps someone out there knew how much they needed each other.
Written for Yuuri Week 2017, with each chapter based on the day's theme.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,745
- Chapters:
- 8/8
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- 1
- Comments:
- 183
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- 1,067
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- 389
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- 15,178
Bookmarked by Baxill
11 Jan 2026