JaredKleinman



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  1. Public Bookmark 50

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    Albus’s laugh exists to spite the poets. It's the simply best thing in the entire world, and Scorpius pities anyone who hasn't seen or heard it. Albus. Where is Albus? Why isn't Scorpius watching and/or listening to Albus laugh right at this very moment? Why would he not spend every minute of every day doing that? Scorpius spins, gets on tiptoe, jumps to see over the crowd.

    Albus Albus Albus Albus Albus Albus —

    Someone is tugging on his sleeve. Albus! 

    "I misplaced you!" Scorpius flings an arm around Albus. "You're far too small. Easy to lose. Should work on that."

    "I'll put it on the agenda," Albus grumbles, ducking his head. Scorpius can hear the smile in his voice.

    Or,
    In his seventh year at Hogwarts, Scorpius Malfoy realizes he's in love with his best friend. He responds to this discovery by making friends with a group of imperiled Bowtruckles. And obsessing over his appearance. And yearning. But mostly the Bowtruckle thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,599
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    352
    Bookmarks:
    50
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    05 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 27

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    “I know, it takes a second,” Vox is saying. “Val said it felt like kissing a mirror, the first time—and yeah, I did ask him if he kissed a lot of mirrors.”

    He just keeps talking, as if Alastor hasn’t just gotten the shock of his afterlife. As if it weren’t out of absolutely nowhere.

    “It’s some kind of good luck ritual with a lipstick mark he used to do before his shows,” Vox carries on, as if he hasn’t noticed or simply doesn’t care that Alastor is—that Alastor doesn’t know what he is, in fact. “Maybe it worked. Hell, look where he is now.”

    Alastor grapples for a grip on anything. Anything at all. What his overtaxed mind gives him, as Vox reaches out to cup a hand around his face, is this:

    Vox is nervous.

    He’s rambling like Charlie losing her spot in a set of talking points and he’s gripping one of the armrests like an anchor. And he’s glowing; there’s a bit of cyan beneath his eyes.

    Well, fuck. What the Hell is Alastor expected to do about that?

    (In which Vox makes an attempt at romance, Alastor weathers a series of foul moods, and Charlie has a terrible day.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,779
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    323
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    2,449

    08 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    A talk show, a parade, a diner, subjecting him to the least compelling show he had ever been forced to watch. Honestly, it was the most insipid ‘victory celebration’ Alastor could imagine. He had thought Vox would be more… bold. It was what he had come to expect from the picture box, right from the start. But instead, all he was doing was showing him off and showing off himself. Both things Alastor would have expected, but to stop there? Which brought him back to, what was holding him back?

    Alastor looked back down at the fabric in his hands, and his smile inched a touch higher. Oh, he knew just how to find out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,301
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    665
    Bookmarks:
    121
    Hits:
    6,687

    03 Jan 2026

  4. Rec 70

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    Perhaps, just a bit, he’d like to kiss Alastor too. Call it curiosity, or insanity. A death wish. Another tempting apple, this one between his teeth. And if giving humans free will had gotten him sentenced to an eternity in Hell he could only imagine the punishment Alastor would unleash upon him for a stolen kiss.

    Alastor was not nearly so benevolent as angels. Not that that had ever stopped Lucifer before. The thread holding him back was fraying.

    Who said friends couldn’t kiss? If friends could fuck they could kiss.

    And they were friends. Right?

    Lucifer should really ask him about that.

    It’s Halloween at the Hazbin Hotel, and a series of late-night radio broadcasts leave Lucifer desperate and Alastor spiraling.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,338
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    587
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    70
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    12,095

    17 Dec 2025

  5. Rec *

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    Alastor makes it a grand total of thirteen days before collapsing in the lobby. It’s an abjectly humiliating experience for the split-second he’s cognizant of what’s happening before everything goes utterly black.

    In which Alastor returns to the hotel and an olive branch is offered over coffee. It’s all very unexceptional.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,744
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    1,246
    Bookmarks:
    280
    Hits:
    8,946

    05 Dec 2025