1 - 20 of 69 Bookmarks by Lilbitlost
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It's been awhile, but sometimes Cas still feels overwhelmed by the whole being human thing. Having to listen to his body's needs, being so full of feelings–it can be so, so much. So even though he desperately wants everything Dean can give him, when Dean walks into his cabin he says the unthinkable:
Go away, Dean.
Series
- Part 18 of NaPoWriMo 2022
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
15 Aug 2022
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“I don’t like being God.” Jack confesses, “Even with Amara and all the angels, it’s lonely. I want to give my powers over to her, perfect harmony, and come back home. Before I can do that, I think I need to make good on what I said to him.”
“Are you saying-?” He can’t bring himself to say it, afraid to be wrong. If he’s wrong he knows he’ll continue to do what he does best, figure it the fuck out, but he’s just so tired of things being difficult.
He hopes for it to be this simple, if only just this once.
“My last act as God is going to be saving Cas from the Empty.”
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In which Castiel is saved from the Empty and becomes a bartender at a western themed bar, Dean fights his alcohol addiction and his own feelings, and everyone else is confused as to why they’re not together already.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,465
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 1,351
- Bookmarks:
- 469
- Hits:
- 26,699
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
16 Apr 2022
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Some time after Cas gets taken by the Empty, Dean finds a cache of love letters hidden in Cas's room (which he has. by the way).
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
04 Apr 2022
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the one with all the references by towriteandtohold for alicedoesntsharefood
Fandoms: Supernatural
01 Jan 2022
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It’s no big deal. Cas is dating someone else and Dean is completely fine with it.
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
21 Jan 2022
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He Doesn't Know What It Means (But I'd Run My Fingers Through Your Hair) by 60r3d0m
Fandoms: Supernatural
11 Feb 2017
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“I wish I knew what you looked like,” D-Dean says and he’s interrupting the voice on phone. The man’s in the middle of explaining something—something about him becoming human (isn’t he human already?), something about an asshat named Dean who threw him out onto the streets, something about why Castiel’s always afraid, always wary not to stay too long even though he wishes that he could.
But Dean doesn’t know what it means.
The man’s voice is quiet, quiet a lot, but he says, “There’s a family picture in Sam’s phone.”
It takes him a while, a lot of Cas explaining to him who Sam is (he forgot again), a lot of explaining that yes, his name’s Dean and that he’s not Sam. A lot of explaining, a lot of whispered things that are gentle and make Dean feel good.
But then he finally sees the picture.
Series
- Part 3 of Season 12 Coda Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,406
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 197
- Kudos:
- 3,170
- Bookmarks:
- 469
- Hits:
- 21,476
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
17 Jan 2022
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You gotta promise me. You'll take care of yourself. And Jack. And, and Mom and Sammy, shit, shit. Shit. Cas. I'm sorry to put this on you. I'm so sorry.
It's beautiful here, Cas. The sun's going down and everything is still so bright, that way the sky gets when what's left of the light is reflecting off all the white, so peaceful except for, ha, there's a flock of cardinals off a ways, bursting up into the sky. All this snow -- it's a wonderland.
Series
- Part 35 of spn snippetfics
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
08 Jan 2022
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Erin had seen him a couple times now. Always the same billowing trench coat, collar askew and hair slightly wild. His most recognizable feature, however, was the way he tilted his head ever so slightly, eyes squinting while he read the menu.
Castiel is in love with Dean but can’t talk to anyone about it. Castiel is also the bunker’s designated coffee retriever. An opportunity presents itself.
inspired by this tumblr post
Series
- Part 1 of i love him, i love him, i love him
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,055
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 1,734
- Bookmarks:
- 216
- Hits:
- 18,870
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
26 Nov 2021
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The kicker is, Dean had been trying to live.
Really live. And not bite out in anger at the fraying of his heart: Cas, gone, Jack, gone—all that was left was him and his brother, and Dean had been trying to live, in spite, in light of that.
In a world like the unsteady first steps of a child, apprehensive arms and hands cradling the air around them, ready for a slip, excited for a step, Dean had been trying to walk forward, too. Though every step had meant every pain.
Upon his death, and arrival in heaven, Dean sets out to find the angel. He has to tell him. Cas has to know.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,844
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 87
- Kudos:
- 1,772
- Bookmarks:
- 329
- Hits:
- 11,846
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
06 Sep 2021
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Alternate season six. Dean and Anna’s night together has more far reaching consequences than anyone could have expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,425
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 265
- Bookmarks:
- 74
- Hits:
- 4,805
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
09 Aug 2021
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May 4th. One date. Two friends. One story.
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
08 Aug 2021
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Dean Winchester was a joyful, outgoing, affectionate child, whose itty-bitty button nose and smothered-in-freckles’s face conquered everyone’s hearts. He was only seven years old, but he made up for his youthfulness with the care he took in being Sam Winchester’s big brother.
The boy exuded energy and boyish charm from every fiber of his being. It was no surprise, then, his popularity amongst other kids at school, but despite this, if you asked anybody in town who was Dean Winchester’s best friend, everybody and their dog would reply with the same name –
“Castiel.”
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
03 Aug 2021
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“You’re okay. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. Come back. It’s okay. It’s over now. You’re okay. Wake up. Please wake up. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you so much. Come back.”
Series
- Part 7 of Hhopp's Destiel Angst-a-Thon
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
31 Jul 2021
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Dean loves going to the playpark to see his best friend Castiel. But building a playpark next to an old cemetery raises a whole load of new issues. Literally.
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
30 Jul 2021
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Dean takes a really, really long drive to kick fear in the ass. It might just be the best thing he ever decides to do.
~~~
The seat squeaks, and Dean follows the sound, his gaze trailing down. There—where Jack sat moments ago—is a much tinier version of him. He looks mostly the same, just...smaller and more dimply and cuter, if that's possible. His clothes have shrunk to fit him, so he's casually sitting in a t-shirt, jeans, and scuffed tennis shoes. He swings his feet from side-to-side over the edge of Baby's seat the same way Sam used to in the back, and he stares up at Dean with clear eyes.
"Oh," Dean blurts out, eyes bulging, "Cas is going to fucking kill me."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 121,930
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,406
- Kudos:
- 7,968
- Bookmarks:
- 2,467
- Hits:
- 163,584
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
29 Jul 2021
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chances are you’ll always be the one and only one for me by dovand
Fandoms: Supernatural
28 Mar 2021
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There were tiny footsteps up the hall to Dean and Cas’ room. Dean looked up just as Jack won a struggle with the door handle that he was only just tall enough to reach and skipped in.
“Dada! Papa! Look what I made!” he said happily, waving a piece of paper.
Dean grinned at his son and lifted him up to set him down in his lap. “What’d you make, kiddo?”
Jack enthusiastically thrust the paper into Dean’s chest until he took it. “I did a drawing for you!”
Dean took the paper with a smile. A crayon bee and flower garden — all of the flowers had smiles — and a sun in the corner. Dean’s smile widened.
[OR: Dean and Castiel adjust to their new, normal life, with Jack as their kid and a bright future.]
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
25 Jul 2021
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Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
17 Jul 2021
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Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.
~~~
For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.
God, he's so fucking stupid.
Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.
"Three years ago," Cas prompts.
Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,110
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 488
- Kudos:
- 2,456
- Bookmarks:
- 621
- Hits:
- 35,028
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
05 Jul 2021
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Dean took a deep breath, looking up at the sky for the last time, eyes bleary from traitorous tears. But hey, he was about to be dropped to the bottom of the ocean, he was allowed to fucking cry.
Here it was - the worst moment of his life.
Except.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,747
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 114
- Kudos:
- 2,326
- Bookmarks:
- 431
- Hits:
- 14,823
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
02 Jul 2021
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So, the first thing that happens is Castiel comes back.
~~~
"Right," Dean says eventually, gruffly. He looks down at his shoes. "I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life, man. It's—you know, yours. Do your thing, love who you love, whatever. I can't really stop you from loving me, if that's what you've decided to do, but I don't—I can't—"
"I know," Castiel murmurs, still just smiling a little, not looking heartbroken at all. "Don't worry about it, Dean, that's all I ask."
"So we're—" Dean risks a glance up, swallowing thickly. "We're good?"
Castiel hums. "We're good."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,918
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 1,356
- Kudos:
- 21,141
- Bookmarks:
- 5,812
- Hits:
- 204,151
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
02 Jul 2021
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Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back.
He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales.
"Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time.
By nightfall, Cas is gone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 95,090
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,076
- Kudos:
- 6,501
- Bookmarks:
- 2,076
- Hits:
- 122,167
Bookmarked by Lilbitlost
01 Jul 2021