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Harry Potter and the fact his life can't get more fucked up by Awkwardaxalotl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
Harry sees that playing the hero in his first year gets him dumped back at the dursleys with a pat on the back for literally murdering a man and decides fuck it I live like I want now. He goes to gringotts gets an inheritance test finds out he has a reluctant soulmate and that dumbledore is a prick. Shenanigans ensue. This is purely self indulgent and my first attempt at fanfic .
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 144,778
- Chapters:
- 71/?
- Comments:
- 2,077
- Kudos:
- 8,465
- Bookmarks:
- 2,502
- Hits:
- 311,721
Bookmarked by Ms_Catherine
06 May 2026
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Summary
Harry's life post final battle isn't what he expected it would be, and then he dies, just like that.
He gets a second chance but forgets to read the fine-print, and ends up somewhere in the distant past while his body suddenly looks quite differently.
Now he's stuck as a teenager attending Hogwarts again, where he encounters an old enemy, and surprise, it's not Tom Riddle. All Harry has to do now is survive long enough to build a life for himself that's actually worth living.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 115,833
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Collections:
- 57
- Comments:
- 3,119
- Kudos:
- 17,618
- Bookmarks:
- 6,233
- Hits:
- 474,998
Bookmarked by Ms_Catherine
04 May 2026
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Summary
When a Voldemort in his thirties encounters a time-travelling, seventeen-year-old Harry Potter, he makes a dangerous—and hilarious—assumption. He assumes that Harry is his son. And his son, of course, deserves the very best.
A confused Harry plays along for the sake of self-preservation, but living with his “father” is proving to be intolerable in more ways than one.
“You are mine,” Voldemort said gently, and smiled when Harry flinched. So the boy did know Voldemort, after all. He knew Voldemort was to be feared. “I will look after you, my own.”
“I don’t belong to you,” Harry spat, despite his fear. Oh, what a delight he was! He was no cowering, simpering sycophant, like Voldemort’s other followers; no, this child had a spine of steel. Not many could stand before Voldemort without quailing.
“You are my son,” Voldemort declared. “Of course you belong to me. Your every cell, your every fibre, your every heartbeat. You are mine in flesh and blood and soul. You are mine in magic. And you will not deny me.”
Now with Chinese, Korean, Russian and Portugese translations, and featuring art by Mona and Hypnodisc!
Series
- Part 4 of Tomarrymort Stories
- Part 3 of Daddymort
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,580
- Chapters:
- 23/?
- Comments:
- 11,630
- Kudos:
- 42,197
- Bookmarks:
- 11,187
- Hits:
- 1,274,778
Bookmarked by Ms_Catherine
03 May 2026
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Summary
Icarian [ ih-kair-ee-uhn ] Of or to be like Icarus Too daring; Foolhardy; Brash
What would happen if Dobby's dying act of apparition and the accidental cracking of a time-turner sent a tortured lonely witch back in time? Can Hermione change the future and stop a war? Save the ones she loves and the new friends she makes? Maybe she can have a better life than the one she's been forced to live for the past seven years, and decide if the risk is worth the reward.
Series
- Part 1 of Icarian Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 233,334
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Comments:
- 1,292
- Kudos:
- 3,523
- Bookmarks:
- 1,437
- Hits:
- 247,752
Bookmarked by Ms_Catherine
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
Mr. Evans always prided himself on his family, a garden filled with flowers of beauty, reliance, and hope. When a woman comes knocking on his door the summer of his youngest daughter's 10th birthday, he realizes how truly magical his flowers have turned out to be.
Hermione is violently thrust backward, but not into the past she remembers. Reborn into the body of Hermione Evans, Lily Evans's sister, decades before the rise of Voldemort. Hermione must navigate childhood again while carrying the weight of war, abandonment, and loss. Growing up alongside figures she once knew as legends, she becomes a quiet architect of change, attempting to soften fate without shattering time itself.
Series
- Part 1 of The Peony Girl Universe
