1 - 20 of 621 Works by Not_You
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When Robert gets the call about Phenomenaman, he is overcome with the urge to just bang his head on the desk until he passes out. Because this comes in under Mating Cycle, Extraterrestrial, and of course Katon-Ur and Mandy are still on each other's paperwork. And this is happening on the clock, so it's an SDN facility and will have to be monitored. How the fuck is this Robert's life? He has always tried to be a good person, to do right and leave the world better than he found it, and this is what he gets? He really does need a bottle of liquor for the bottom drawer.
Series
- Part 6 of How It All Goes Off
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For all of Flambae's issues with the whole situation, he at least physically feels a hell of a lot better, this time. His body likes sex pollen much better than whatever mess of badly-cut rohypnol and/or GHB that dirty bastard had given him all those years ago. He wakes up on the floor of the isolation room, alone except for Prism, all cuddled up to his back for warmth. She's cute as shit when she's asleep, like a kitty-cat.
Series
- Part 3 of How It All Goes Off
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This time is actually a direct sequel to the whole Malevola-and-Sonar thing, so at least that much makes sense? And Robert isn't watching members of Z-Team have sex, per se, the situation is just Definitely Freaky. At least it's not his fault, this time. And he's so relieved he can barely even care. As someone whose very properties as a physical object are under constant magical effect, Punch Up makes a good focus for various rituals. Since almost everyone has been arrested and what remains of the group is getting more than a little desperate, he is tied up naked in a warehouse, but thanks to Coupé's quick response time, he is otherwise unharmed.
Series
- Part 5 of How It All Goes Off
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Like A Bat Out Of Hell (But Some Of Them Love It There) by Not_You
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
08 Feb 2026
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Robert did not have 'watching members of Z-Team fuck, for safety reasons' on his bingo card for the year in the first place, but he really wasn't expecting it to come up twice. [...] and now here he is, wanting to kick himself up and down the block because he fucked up, he fucked up and sent Malevola and Sonar into what has turned out to be some kind of cult situation. It's essentially handled, even, the problem is that Malevola is the exact wrong person to be around all the weird, esoteric shit they've gathered in an attempt to call up a Lord Of Hell.
Series
- Part 4 of How It All Goes Off
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Bring A Bucket And Mop (Give Me Everything You Got) by Not_You
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
22 Jan 2026
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Prism really has to wonder if their precious li'l Bob-Bob will actually have the guts and/or lack of responsibility to meet up with her in a janitor's closet, but she knows damn well that she's going to be there. Fuck, she aches, stupid sexy Flambae and his stupid sexy problems, and Waterboy--well, Hermy now, there's no going back
Series
- Part 2 of How It All Goes Off
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You'd think that Flambae and Punch-Up would be a fine team take on Deadly Nightshade, a woman who can control plants, and her various mooks. Punch-Up for the hand-to-hand, and Flambae because plants don't like being set on fire. Simple, right? Punch-Up has even dealt with Nightshade before. It's actually going great, right until the mop-up, when one overlooked seedpod or something, hidden under an incapacitated... well, plant-ninja, seems to be the style. But whatever he is, he was lying on top of this thing, and now it has broken open and sprayed Flambae directly in the face with some kind of pollen.
"Ohh hell and damnation, not this shite again!" Punch-Up yells, and Flambae shrieks, "the fuck is this!?" in the same breath, so loudly it makes Robert cringe and pull the headset away from his ears.
Series
- Part 1 of How It All Goes Off
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Summary
Prism sucks her teeth. "Ooh. Okay. So. I shouldn't be telling you this--"
"So maybe don't?"
"No, no," she waves a dismissive hand, leaning in across the tabletop, "Bae needs all the help he can get, bitch is ridiculous. Anyway, from what he's told me, he can get kinda vulnerable on top. He's probably scared you'll make fun of him."
Robert rolls his eyes. "I think we're past that. And what d'you mean, 'vulnerable'? I mean, sex is pretty vulnerable for everyone, isn't it?"
Prism shrugs. "Hey, I'm just tellin' you like he told me. That's the word he used, and he looked embarrassed as hell." She sits back into her side of the both. "You're the one wants the man to fuck you, you should probably use your big-boy words and ask him. And soon, we're supposed to hate-watch Drag Race, but it doesn't work if he's already in a bad mood."
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Everyone is trying to be normal, by a definition that no longer exists, and if they can't manage that, by a new definition that's just as incomplete and mutilating as the old one.
In a world where a lot of people work better in Alpha/Beta/Omega triads, Maggie is willing to be proactive to save her marriage, Marty will give anything a shot at this point, and Rust is through with everyone's illusions.
Series
- Part 1 of Threefold Rotational Symmetry
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Heraldic Beast by Not_You
Fandoms: Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008), Trigun Stampede (Anime 2023)
04 Oct 2025
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With Wolf, everything starts with a hunt. Of course it's one of the ones Vash opts to attend. It isn't as if Nai takes a great deal of pleasure from these outings, either, but important connections are made and maintained this way, and have been for generations, In the Saverem court, nobles hunt. At least their own mother is so tenderhearted that the foxes are allowed to run another day, and only as many stags, boar, and birds are taken as the court will eat. Even the wolves must be proven to have done wrong, since all the most experienced foresters say that feral dogs are more likely to take livestock.
Even with all this in place, Vash is still likely as not to spend the whole time acting a complete clown; falling off of the patient, long-suffering horses he knows perfectly well how to ride, making jokes calculated to be just off-color enough to make the ladies blush without being actionable, cooing ridiculous baby-talk to all the falcons and hunting dogs, and nine times out of ten, making certain the quarry gets away, because he feels sorry for it.
Series
- Part 3 of Over The Hills And Far Away
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Series
- Part 3 of Wonderfully And Fearfully Made
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In a world hurtling toward the twentieth century, with the other fantastical citizens of the world becoming shadows of themselves as they try to fit in, Hannibal is definitely Intrigued to discover a wild satyr living in the woods around his rented summer cottage.
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Because Vash is a nice boy, and doesn't fly off the handle and mutilate his brother on the belief that imperfect things are less loved and he will therefore be allowed to keep them. Knives may not spend a lot of time sniveling, but he is never going to stop feeling bad about all the scars he has put on Vash. Hell, he would be locked up somewhere right now, if not for Vash's begging not to be parted from him and Rem's assurances that she could keep them both safe. And she has, and because of that and because this is what Vash wants, Knives is going to Summer Camp For The Criminally Insane And Their Stupid Siblings. Great.
And of course Vash blubbers when they say goodbye to Rem, and then he's way too excited to talk to everyone else on the bus, and it's hot out and there's no AC and Knives is already greasy with sunscreen and just kill him now, honestly.
With my usual impulse to take Big Serious Angsty properties and turn all the characters into the obnoxious teenagers they act like, we find ourselves here, with the cast of Trigun at a summer residential program for kids with severe trauma.
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During his time in captivity, Shiro finds himself training with Sendak for one of Haggar's inscrutable reasons, neither of them minding the other's company as much as he thought he would. And then Sendak's rut suppressants fail, and his asshole subordinates figure they'll throw him in with the alien until he's got his mind right. Neither of them are happy about this, but they make the best of it.
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Legato technically comes to them as plunder. Well, voluntary plunder, Vash supposes? As the younger prince, he doesn't do as much of the warring, and glad of it, even if slavers and oath-breakers are both awful types of people, making those who break an oath to stop being slavers particularly bad. So when Nai comes home looking particularly grim, with a broken sword and new rents in his armor, Vash doesn't ask any questions.
Series
- Part 2 of Over The Hills And Far Away
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Royal Prerogative by Not_You
Fandoms: Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008), Trigun Stampede (Anime 2023)
14 Jun 2025
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Vash doesn't realize that there's anything strange about it at all, at first. Great-Grandmother and Great-Grandfather on Father's side were brother and sister, after all, and of course he loves Nai. He loves Nai so much he can't even breathe, sometimes, and while girls and other boys might be pretty, or fun to chase or nice to kiss, there's no one he could ever possibly love so much.
Series
- Part 1 of Over The Hills And Far Away
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Above all things, Legato is an excellent personal assistant. He manages every little detail, and he does it well. Accommodations, security, scheduling, health and well-being, all of it. Taking care of the man behind Millions Knives is what Legato does, and by now is part of who he is. People have asked Legato for the secret of his success, and he has told those he respects enough to answer at all a series of not-lies about time management, presentation, and networking; but really, Legato is so good at what he does because the task is its own reward.
Series
- Part 2 of Man-Eating Plants
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Wolfwood probably counts as a biohazard right now, the way he's sweating, and he's screaming at traffic like a fucking maniac, leaning his bike into the curves at near-lethal speed. He knows he needs to get a grip, but the complete idiot of an Omega he has been in love with from the minute they met, even if they've just been pretending to be friends, is crashing off of years of suppression across town, and Meryl had called to say that he has been begging for Wolfwood for hours, that now his fever is so high and he's so incoherent it's scaring her. She hadn't even known who he was talking about at first, because only Vash knows the name 'Nico', because Vash is meant to be his, Vash feels so right that Wolfwood had just given that name to him one night, natural as breathing.
Series
- Part 1 of Man-Eating Plants
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This isn’t a relationship. You don’t do relationships, you stupid piece of shit, what passes for your love is poison. No, positive self-talk. But still. You’ve done horrible things, you don’t deserve to be loved—goddammit, positive self-talk, asshole! You are learning and growing, and interpersonal relationships are one of the things you know the least about how to do right, romantic ones least of all. And this shit is not romantic. It’s not a relationship. It’s just a, a thing, okay?
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Because people are ridiculous, the public and press had expected rivalry and trash-talk when when Curtis had been traded onto their team. Never mind that nobody on the Voltron roster is that much of a douchebag, and that the hottest rivalry they have going is the three-way one between Keith, Lance, and Griffin to be the biggest asshole on the team. It doubles as a race to see who can turn the rest of Shiro’s hair white the fastest. God help him, he loves those idiots. He loves all of the boys, but those three take the most looking after. They actually bought him a World’s Greatest Dad mug last year, the little shits.
Right now, Shiro is very, very grateful that he and Curtis are sharing a room this trip, even if he had been nervous about it, before. He may have a terrible crush on the guy, but on the other hand, he can tell Curtis that his shoulder is sore and not get a bunch of crap about being old and decrepit. Just because he’s pushing thirty doesn’t make him Satchel Paige, dammit.
29. Sports
Series
- Part 29 of Thirty-One Worlds II