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“Oh, hello, you,” Hermione said softly. It was a little frog, no bigger than the hollow of the palm of her hand. Gently, she scooped it up in her hand and smiled. It really was very cute.
Then it opened its mouth and said: “What the fuck, Granger?”
That was when she screamed and threw the frog straight back into the plants.
—
In which Draco Malfoy is accidentally—and possibly irreversibly—turned into a frog, and he relentlessly
antagonizescharms Hermione Granger as she attempts to help him.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,353
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 890
- Kudos:
- 1,034
- Bookmarks:
- 361
- Hits:
- 22,821
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
26 May 2026
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Hermione Granger’s job is very simple. Everyone wants a piece of her, and she gives everyone what they want: a win for the party, a pet project nudged through committee, a favour traded in light tones. An autograph. A quote. A smile for the camera. A name to curse at the dinner table. Her energy, her time, her heart.
The only one who doesn’t want something from her is Draco. He just wants her.
~~~
His face hovers above her, his cheeks dimpling. Then his familiar weight is pressing down on her.
A blurry question threads through the far reaches of her mind. Is it really you?
She makes a fuzzy noise.
He hushes her, pulling off the bedsheets, pushing up her slip. His brows crease at the position of her hand, covering her entrance. Wordlessly, he presses his nose to her fingers and draws a breath, groaning at what he smells there.
“Oh, darling,” he exhales. “Did you fuck yourself to sleep?”
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
25 May 2026
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“Draco—” She scoffs, certainly trying to chastise him. “We’re supposed to be out in the ballroom— anyone could walk back here!”
“Can’t a man ravish his wife for just a moment? Just a little fun, and then I’ll return you to the masses.” It wasn’t technically a lie, although he doubted she would want to return after this.
From the way she wiggled against him currently, her bum pressing back into his growing erection, he would guess she wouldn’t last five minutes.
“You’re cruel.” She accuses, her hands reaching back around to grip into the fabric of his robes for support.
“You know I don’t like to play fair, darling,” He says, teeth nipping along the column of her throat. “I didn’t want you coming here at all tonight, and I especially warned you against those shoes. You can’t blame me for doing what I can to get you out of them.”
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While at the Christmas Eve Gala his parents throw every year, the only thing Draco has on his mind is getting his pregnant wife home for the night. And he's not afraid to play a little dirty to get his way.
Series
- Part 8 of Birdie's Christmas Celebration
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
20 May 2026
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Draco has long given up the fanciful notion that he might get what he wants.
The reason is not that he doesn't think he deserves it. It is because his elves are utter fucking wankers.
Still, when Pansy sets him up on a date with a witch he's been pining after for months, Draco prepares. He even has the elves lay out his favourite jacket.
Wait – where is his jacket?
***
Follow Draco on a fine spring day, during which he attempts to woo Hermione Granger, is humiliated by his own dressing room, accidentally becomes an environmentalist, and finds out he has been wrong about more than one thing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,968
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 96
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 1,244
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
20 May 2026
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Misery, Company, and All-Encompassing by MorePlease
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
17 May 2026
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Draco Malfoy, miserable bastard, has been mandated to marry none other than Hermione Granger. But first he has to find the elusive witch.
or
A marriage law story in which Draco chases Hermione around the globe.
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
19 May 2026
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The Lessening by littlewolfsyndrome for CalliopeCrowe
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger just wants an orgasm.
A perfectly reasonable aspiration after a brutal shift in St. Mungo’s trauma ward, most would agree. Her trusty vibrator, Hamish, hasn’t let her down yet, and she really—really—needs to come.
But when a half-dead Auror shows up on her doorstep, requiring her life-saving services, Hermione’s dream of getting in a cathartic, satisfactory wank before dawn begins to feel like it might not be in the cards for her—which is seriously unacceptable, because (have I mentioned?) she really, sort of desperately, needs to fucking come.
I suppose it’s a good thing, then, that the aforementioned half-dead Auror knows just what to do.
An ode to mental health and female pleasure.
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
17 May 2026
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“Are you offering?” Her voice wavers, slight enough he might not notice.
A slow smile spreads on his face. “Where do you live, Granger?”
—
Six years later, Malfoy returns to England, and Hermione is confronted with the past they never resolved.Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
08 May 2026
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Every morning Draco wakes up it's always the same Saturday. He knows it's going to be cold, it's going to be grey, and it's going to last him for the rest of eternity... until he murders Dumbledore. Usually midnight washes away any mistakes he makes. But one day Hermione - experienced in meddling with time - notices his strange behaviour and gets tangled up in his dilemma in a way he never expected.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 218,570
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,514
- Kudos:
- 751
- Bookmarks:
- 287
- Hits:
- 28,728
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
06 May 2026
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Summary
He could offer her love only in the shadows. He had to learn to be brave enough to love her in the daylight.
Loosely based on “I Told You Things” by Gracie Abrams
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,428
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 86
- Kudos:
- 441
- Bookmarks:
- 90
- Hits:
- 8,437
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
04 May 2026
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Summary
“I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home.”
***
A decade after the war, Draco Malfoy is still learning how to live inside the life he inherited.
Hermione Granger returns to England after seven years away from the wreckage she left behind. She is older, wiser, and no longer willing to make herself smaller for others’ comfort.
She does not return alone, but with a little girl with curly blonde hair and grey eyes.
NOW COMPLETE 🤍
Series
- Part 1 of Heirloom
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 230,805
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Comments:
- 1,526
- Kudos:
- 1,391
- Bookmarks:
- 523
- Hits:
- 65,407
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
04 May 2026
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Summary
The Second Wizarding War is at a standstill.
Both sides haven't made any substantial progress and the frontlines remain unchanging. Voldemort's legion is destroying the infrastructure. Dumbledore's Army is suffering from psychological trauma and displacement.
After the very public execution of his parents, Draco Malfoy disappeared during a battle he was supposed to command with all the dragons. Dragons would be the perfect solution for either side to finally gain the upper hand.
The Dark Lord and the Order both receive a letter to send one representative to convince Draco who he should side with. For someone who can't be tortured, can't be threatened, the only way to gain his loyalty is to convince him. Hermione Granger and Theo Nott are the representatives sent to convince him.
Now Draco is being forced to choose.
The Muggle-born witch he's always watched as they grew up OR his friends that are the last bit of family he has left.
> Major Character Death Tag Spoiler: Crookshanks needs his parents, they don't die in this story. If that's what was making you hesitate - Don't!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 133,486
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Comments:
- 622
- Kudos:
- 742
- Bookmarks:
- 446
- Hits:
- 40,388
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
03 May 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger thought life would be different after leaving Hogwarts. She tried her best to move on from the war, but it isn’t the memories of battle that haunt her. It's memories of eighth year—a pair of grey eyes and a hidden church—that linger in her mind.
Draco Malfoy believed he had built a life beyond Hogwarts, one untouched by the past. But when she unexpectedly returns, memories of eighth year—a hidden church and a pair of brown eyes—resurface, proving some things are too sacred to be forgotten.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,321
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 90
- Kudos:
- 140
- Bookmarks:
- 33
- Hits:
- 2,619
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger, returning to Hogwarts after the War without Harry and Ron by her side, wants nothing more than a quiet, peaceful final year at school. Instead, she winds up with two new friends. One of them is an anonymous, charming penpal that only goes by the name of Romeo. The other is Draco Malfoy, who is far more companionable (and far more handsome) than she ever gave him credit for.
To her dismay, she develops crushes on both of them at the same time.
(Spoiler: It's less of a problem than she thinks it is.)
Series
- Part 1 of Two Households
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 161,985
- Chapters:
- 27/27
- Comments:
- 1,081
- Kudos:
- 2,035
- Bookmarks:
- 814
- Hits:
- 65,465
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
He saw her again, for the first time since the war, in the bowels of the Ministry, a horrid place to be in general, and even worse when the breath was knocked out of you.
When Hermione Granger (dash Krum — he acknowledged this for one time only, and then refused to think it again) stepped into the conference room, Draco’s first thought was: tight.
Horrid, misogynistic, leering. He was no better than a wizard on the street. But it didn’t apply just to her body — wrapped in a combination of robes and a navy sheath dress, slightly pleated at the collar — but to her hair, which was coiled into a bun that drew out the planes of her face. Her eyes, tight. Her lips, tight. Her hands, which clutched a sheaf of parchment, tight. Her demeanour, which was utterly controlled.
Tight.
He wanted to break it. It lit him up, from the base of his spine to his brainstem, this desire.
__
Or, Draco Malfoy sees what he wants, and pulls the strings to get it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,643
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 52
- Kudos:
- 306
- Bookmarks:
- 59
- Hits:
- 3,862
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
22 Apr 2026
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Summary
NOW COMPLETE!
Hermione was just trying to have a normal Tuesday: feed her overly dramatic cat, open a definitely-dangerous ancient armoire, ignore Cormac McLaggen until he wanders off to do whatever it is useless men do.Instead, she got: A surprise heist, four suspiciously well-coordinated intruders in designer cloaks, one ancient book radiating “murder me” vibes and a front-row seat to what can only be described as a magical boyband breakup under extreme stress.
Inside the warehouse: Chaos, spells, and a near-bludgeoning featuring one decorative bust. Outside the warehouse: Harry Potter with 36 Aurors, a plan held together with sellotape and rage, and Ron Weasley seconds from committing murder on live Prophet coverage.
It’s like Ocean’s Eleven had a baby with Die Hard and gave it a wand, a trauma bond, and a lot of feelings no one is emotionally equipped to handle. The intruders say they want the cursed object. Hermione suspects what they really need is group therapy, juice boxes, and a very long nap.
The Vault is: 50% tension 30% sarcasm 20% bad decisions and 100% one Gryffindor witch with a coin-based panic button saving her own damn life while the wizards argue about tactical logistics.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 226,688
- Chapters:
- 52/52
- Comments:
- 1,377
- Kudos:
- 1,196
- Bookmarks:
- 790
- Hits:
- 76,194
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
18 Apr 2026
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Summary
Ever since she’d been small, Hermione’s reward for good marks had been a rampage through a bookshop, so the day she tore open her O.W.L.s results and triumphantly brandished the eleven Outstandings, her beaming mother said, “We’ll go to Foyles tomorrow,” without any discussion required.
Series
- Part 13 of Harry Potter works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,337
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 522
- Kudos:
- 4,048
- Bookmarks:
- 1,215
- Hits:
- 34,098
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
08 Apr 2026
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Summary
Hermione: Head girl.
Head girl duties: supervise detention.
Detention: mostly first years.
Enter: Draco Malfoy.
Carpe: diem.
Mischief: managed.OR
Hermione is not above breaking the rules—especially if it means she gets to get one over the little ferret.
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
06 Apr 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger joined the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures for three reasons. One - She wanted to distance herself from Ron and Harry. They were still her best friends, but the mention of the ‘Golden Trio’ made bile rise in her stomach. Two - She hated hospitals, magical or otherwise. The Theseus Scamander Auror Ward seemed too large and far too busy for comfort. Three - It was mainly paperwork, right? No one ever mentioned the two rooms in The 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious Bites, dedicated to the DRCMC.
Draco Malfoy's choice to further his studies as a Healer was his escape. An escape from the suffocating Manor and all the memories that haunted him there. An escape from a life of drinking, gambling, and general debauchery. An escape from his parents plotting and planning. Why did he become a Healer on The 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious Bites? It had nothing to do with a curly-haired witch who ended up in the ward more often than was recommended.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,035
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 119
- Kudos:
- 326
- Bookmarks:
- 135
- Hits:
- 8,934
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
04 Apr 2026
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Summary
Secret love child trope, a dark comedy where even Hermione doesn't know it is his. Multiple POV.
Twelve years after the war, Draco Malfoy has become something any self respecting aristocrat should never become: Head of the Ministry’s Magical Discretion and Exposure Prevention Office.
Hermione Granger is working as muggle doctor, with a little more indiscreet magical assistance that the Ministry would typically allow. Formal warnings and veiled threats are only adding to the stress of upbringing a metamorphagus as a single mother - a metamorphagus who accidentally found herself flooing into Malfoy Manor.
Now Draco’s icy composure is cracking, Narcissa is plotting, Lucius has murder on his mind, and Hermione just wants everyone to leave her alone. And Mundungus? He’s just stuck in the middle of it all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,668
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 344
- Kudos:
- 424
- Bookmarks:
- 107
- Hits:
- 16,689
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
27 Mar 2026
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Summary
A-ga-pei. Greek.
(.N) A selfless, unconditional love; one that persists no matter the circumstance.
‘I dont know you, but I know that I love you’
Bookmarked by SmilingWithKnives
23 Mar 2026