1 - 20 of 42 Works by Patrocool (all_the_homo)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    That night in the cannery kept Silco up, the memories replaying over and over in his mind’s eye. Analyzing each moment. Wondering how he could’ve turned it around, how he could’ve made it better.

    How he might’ve yet changed Vander’s mind.

    How Vander chose Felicia’s children and those two street rats he picked up over Felecia’s memory, over Connol, over their dream, over the revolution, over Zaun—

    (Over Silco.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,134
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    228
  2. Tags
    Summary

    She couldn’t remember if she’d ever told Kaz that it went both ways—that she would always come for him, and if they broke her legs, she’d drag herself inch by inch to his side. She wished she had— but Kaz hated empty promises and pretty lies.

    Because she couldn’t come for him if she didn’t even know where he went or who took him.

    *

    After being held captive for six months, Kaz is barely more than a shadow of the man he used to be. He and Inej must relearn how to navigate both their lives and their relationship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,260
    Chapters:
    10/18
    Comments:
    247
    Kudos:
    494
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    10,255
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Breathe in, breathe out. Listen. Rinse and repeat until—

    There. Footsteps and then a surprisingly familiar voice.

    “Kaz, where in the saints’ names are you? Damn place is like a maze—”

    “Nina?” He rasped, jolting where he stood. “Zenik? Did I die and go to hell?”

    The footsteps paused and then hurried in his direction. The doorknob jiggled as Nina cursed on the other side in Ravkan. Then—“Shut up, Brekker, how do I get this thing open?”

    “Have you considered unlocking it?” Kaz asked.

    *

    Kaz gets kidnapped by slavers in an attempt to lure out the Pirate Queen of the True Sea. Unfortunately for said slavers, they don't expect a full murder of Crows to come after him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,892
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    479
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    3,633
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Out of all of Kaz’s so-called monstrous features, it was his eyes Inej noticed first. Two slitted pupils sitting in irises the color of soil after a rain– but when she had snuck up on him and he turned to look at her, they flashed like golden coins in the sun. She had seen his razor sharp teeth as he had spoken to Heleen, the unnatural sharpness of his bones and the way his fingers seemed just a bit too long. She knew what he was– damned by the Saints.

    But she was not afraid of him; an escape damned by the Saints was better than no escape at all.

     

    OR what if the whole demjin nickname was literal and Kaz and Inej reaped the rewards.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,552
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    351
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    6,142
  5. Tags
    Summary

    It started like this:

    Sitting in the Slat attic, a bottle of whiskey between them. Jesper made a stupid joke that really wasn’t that funny but Kaz found the breath stolen from his chest regardless when Jesper tilted his head back and laughed. The column of his throat was bared, and Kaz’s gaze caught on it for a reason he couldn’t quite wrap his head around, and for a moment, the world was still.

    Kaz took a swig of whiskey and pretended to be tidying up his desk, abruptly ending their little meeting with his heart in his throat.

    He didn’t know what this was, but he knew he didn’t have time for it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    775
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    244
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2,254
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Van Eck was talking as he idly held what Inej first thought was a bat or pipe- up until she saw the flash of a silver crow’s head. Fury made her skin crawl with the urge to strike, but she forced herself to be patient. To watch. That’s what Kaz would do- get as much information as possible and then get out to form a plan.

    She couldn’t see Kaz’s face from this angle, but Kaz always knew she was there so surely he’d know now as well. Surely he’d feel her and know that she was trying to get him out. That she came for him, was fighting for him. If he did, he gave her no indication.

    OR what if Kaz had been taken by Van Eck instead of Inej?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,285
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    634
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    9,198
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Don’t do this,” Inej said, interrupting his thoughts with her firm words. A challenge, almost, maybe even the offering of one.

    “You don’t even know what I was going to do,” he scoffed, his gaze flickering back to her face. To his surprise, a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. He didn’t realize she could still surprise him.

    “I know what you’re doing now though,” she said with an arched brow and the slight jutting of her chin. He felt the corners of his own mouth fighting not to quirk up.

    “And what would that be, my darling Inej?” He said dryly.

    “Sulking,” she said simply as her smile split into a grin.

    OR Inej is leaving for the first time and Kaz is, in fact, sulking.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,319
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    173
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,936
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Kaz had said it’d be an easy job, in and out and then they could go get Jesper’s tattoo done. Said he probably wouldn’t even need to use his guns, just stand there and keep his mouth shut. He said nothing about there being a knife fight- Jesper was a sharpshooter, damn it! Knives were decidedly not his area of expertise.

    So really, it was Kaz’s fault that one of the Liddies they were parlaying stuck a pen knife right into Jesper’s side.

    OR Jesper gets stabbed for the first time and that's now Kaz's problem.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,526
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1,555
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Jesper, Eif, and Jingyi were all missing.

    Jingyi, one of his youngest Barrel rats- seven years old but a fantastic memory when she actually paid attention. He had been training her to be a spider eventually.

    Eif, his oldest trainee and often dubbed as his personal assistant- stubborn, loud, always trying to get away with things she shouldn’t. Sharp and quick witted. She’d make a good lieutenant once she was old enough.

    And then Jesper- the idiot had insisted on “helping out” when the older kids wanted him to play hide and seek with them– most of the Dregs were out doing their actual jobs, but the kids- trainees were supposed to be resting since Kaz was making them train early the next morning.

    (If Jesper had just listened when Kaz told him to wrap it up so they could sleep, if he had left earlier, he would’ve been home with Wylan and Marya, perfectly safe in their big mercher house-)

    OR an earthquake hits Ketterdam and Kaz deals with the aftermath.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,772
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    151
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,786
  10. Tags
    Summary

    He tried.

    Saints above, Kaz tried.

    Inej knew he did, and she didn’t blame him for what happened. He tried.

    But it was all for nothing because she was still here and now he was here with her.

    *

    A collection of <1k fics for whumpuary

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,573
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    178
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2,822
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Don’t leave me again,” she whispered and she sounded so very small. Kaz felt like he had been the one shot.

    “What?” He croaked, head spinning and barely able to even really follow what she was saying.

    “On the Ferolind,” she murmured. “With Ooman. You carried me but then left me below decks and didn’t see me even once.”

    He shook his head, throat feeling tight. “I- I’m not going anywhere,” he promised.

    OR Inej gets shot and its up to Kaz to help her.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,378
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    3,206
  12. Tags
    Summary

    It was supposed to be just a straight shot to Ravka to visit Inej’s parents for the Saints’ Festival. Kaz and Inej had purposefully planned their trip to avoid slave trade routes, but when a ship suddenly turned towards them, they weren’t going to back down from the fight.

    OR when the Wraith goes up against a slaver ship unexpectedly, Kaz takes an unexpected dip.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,300
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2,836
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Jesper nodded solemnly, jutting out his lower lip. Inej had to say that this was certainly not what she expected Kaz’s plan to be, but he always had his reason. “It's just been terrible,” Jesper sighed dramatically. “Can you imagine only having Dirtyhands for company? He’s awful! His idea of fun is stringing up intestines like streamers.”

    “He wouldn’t shut up,” Kaz said with a roll of his eyes, and Inej was fascinated by this approach- what in the world was he trying to achieve here? “He wouldn’t stop talking until I agreed to come to this meeting in the first place. He’s absolutely insufferable.”

    OR Inej gets captured so Kaz and Jesper go help her out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,011
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    203
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2,112
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Inej had always told Kaz that his habit of slipping off without telling anyone where he was going would kill him, but this time, he didn’t even do it on purpose- he had a tail and he decided to take a detour through the warehouse district to lose them.

    His real mistake was assuming his tail was smarter than he really was- when Kaz went up on the catwalks, a smarter man would’ve tried to cut off the exits from below, keeping him trapped up above. Of course, that was what Kaz wanted him to do, but he knew it wasn’t that the man had thought Kaz had planned for that.

    Because only a fool would attempt a one on one fight with Dirtyhands himself- especially with such a high drop right there on either side of them. It hardly took Kaz thirty seconds to flip the man over the railing.

    Unfortunately, Kaz had underestimated the man’s grip strength. All it took was a hand on his lapel and a flailing kick to his bad leg and Kaz toppled right over the edge with him.

     

    OR kaz takes a tumble and it doesnt end well

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,088
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2,237
  15. Tags
    Summary

    I’m trying, she cried. I’m trying so hard, Kaz, please-

    Inej, he choked out as water filled his lungs. He was getting weaker. He was afraid. Inej, Inej-

    Kaz, was all she could say in return, but his voice echoed around her.

    Inej, Inej, Inej, Inej-

     

    OR inej and kaz have a no good, very bad night (but it gets a little better)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,195
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3,656
  16. Tags
    Summary

    It didn’t take long for Kaz to realize something was off. In fact, he noticed it almost instantly; something was very wrong with his Wraith.

    She made noise as she came through his window.

    OR Inej has a concussion so Kaz takes care of her.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,215
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    3,671
  17. Tags
    Summary

    One prompt a day for what I'm calling "Darkcember". As the name implies, the stories will likely be angsty.

    *

    “Inej,” he said evenly, like how he used to greet her whenever she came to his window to report, but now she knew him well enough to see it for what he was; both a reminder of who she was and an acknowledgement that he saw her. He recognized her and said her name as if it was the simplest fact in the world.

    (She thought that might be how Kaz loves; in facts, logic, and numbers. He tells her that he is valuable to him not because he sees her as nothing more than something to be bought but because he sees her as irreplaceable. And when she told him that she didn’t like being spoken of like that, he stopped, and Inej had a hunch that he didn’t even really understand why she didn’t like it. He just never wanted to hurt her, and that was enough.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,867
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    386
    Kudos:
    270
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    8,078
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Kaz,” she murmured, reaching out like she would touch his cheek. “I- I died. You have to let me go.”

    “No,” he ground out, eyes hardening as his fists clenched. He shook his head. “No, I- I’ll get you out of here. I’ll take you with me.”

    Her smile was sad, tears welling in her eyes. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

    “I’ll take you home,” he said, voice breaking. “Please. Come home with me.”

    *

    Or, what if Kaz was both Orpheus and Hades? And Inej was his Persephone but also his Eurydice?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    835
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    489
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Kaz Brekker is a master of deals- he made a deal with Inej to get her out of the Menagerie, a deal with Heleen to pay for it, a deal with Per Haskell to even be able to put forth the funds, amongst others.

    However, King Van Eck and Count Rollins have a deal for him he couldn't quite figure out: become the people's beloved Crown Prince of Kerch within the year- or execution. The choice seems rather obvious until they add something that Kaz can't give up- they offer information on the ultimate demise of the Queen's Revenge, the very ship Inej had died on years prior.

    OR a (modified) Princess Bride AU! Having watched the movie is not a requirement, I changed A Lot in order to make this work.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,091
    Chapters:
    3/11
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    960
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It had been over a year since Inej Ghafa last set foot in Ketterdam.

    A long, bitter year, but that was fine. She was living her life, bringing down the vengeance of the Saints upon any bastard who thought selling people for a profit was a good idea.

    No, she was out there on the open sea, free and doing good for whatever little it did. (It did much more than a little.) And Kaz was doing just fine, thank you- in fact, better than fine would be more accurate. The Dregs was, by far, the most powerful gang in the Barrel, and he was still richer than he could ever dream.

    Dirtyhands had everything he had ever wanted and more.

    Kaz only wanted one thing- one holy, unattainable thing. Not thing. Person.

    *

    Its been almost two years since Kaz first gifted Inej her ship, and a little over one year since he royally fucked up their relationship. He hasn't seen her since- not that he was waiting for her. He had more important plans to work on.

    Unfortunately, what he didn't plan on was catching something that he couldn't talk himself out of.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,850
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    581
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    5,823

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