bamonbitch
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Shane’s heart drops into his stomach. “Ilya,” he breathes. His vision goes blurry, throat tight. He tries to swallow it down and focus, shove his swirling thoughts into a neat little box, but it’s impossible. He feels—he might throw up, actually. “Are you seriously telling me you tried to fucking kill yourself?”
“Yes,” Ilya agrees blandly, “It did not work.”
Ilya calls Shane from the hospital. Shane handles it very normally.
- Language:
- English
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Bookmarked by bamonbitch
20 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
this was a fucking gut punch because what the fuck. it was beautifully written and i actually cried while reading this. shane saying “did you really try to kill yourself?” and ilya replying “yes but it did not work.” is so him that it’s actually so sad. one thing that i kind of relate to w ilya is self deprecating jokes to hide pain and trauma and fuckkkkkk this was one of those moments (not suicidal btw and nvr have been) but the way this was written was just so visual for me. i could actually see hudson and connor as ilya and shane acting out this scene. and another thing that broke my heart was that ilya thought shane still just wanted to fuck after his suicide attempt and shane was like wtf is wrong w you?! i’m trying to check on you and ilya was surprised at the thought of shane caring about him outside of sex 💔💔💔💔 my poor baby
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The Second First Time by Allive
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
26 Jan 2026
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Shane Hollander wakes up in a hospital room convinced it’s 2016 — and that Ilya Rozanov is still his biggest rival, someone he’s supposed to hate.
But the world has changed. It’s 2025. They play for the same team, live in the same house, and Ilya Rozanov is wearing a wedding ring.
Now Shane has to relive nine lost years, learn to trust his ‘enemy,’ and find out whether he can fall in love with his own husband all over again.Series
- Part 1 of Again, and Always
- Language:
- English
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- 59,706
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- 24/24
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- 1,678
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Bookmarked by bamonbitch
19 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
such a good fic. my only qualm is that i read this when it wasn’t fully completed. but so heartbreaking tbh. when i read the first chapter and shane was so confused and angry at the world and ilya i was so sad for my boy :( but such a good read. i love how shane fell in love w ilya all over again
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i love you, ya tebya lyublyu, je t'aime by moonlightdances
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
“Because I can’t fucking do this, Ilya. I’m going to my parents’, I- I need a break, alright? Shit.” Shane’s gaze locked onto his keys and he picked them up, stalking towards the door. He needed a break from the arguing and he needed to go somewhere he could breathe and collect his thoughts, so he could process this correctly and talk about it with Ilya civilly. Everything was still suffocating and overwhelming and Shane needed out, needed to go sit in his car and drive in silence to his parents’ place.
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Ilya had seen enough breakups to know what one looked like. Shane ignored him, and looked irritated, and said he couldn’t do this (this, like everything between them could be reduced to a single word other than love), and said he needed a break (his confidence in Ilya’s English was comforting up until Ilya realised it meant Shane didn’t feel the need to say the dramatic I’m breaking up with you that characterised the ends of relationships).or, hollanov fight and misunderstandings resulting in an injury ensue
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
12 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
i am an utter whore for angst but this was heartbreaking…..reading ilya p much say that he was okay w dying because he thought he didn’t have shane anymore broke me. ilya being codependent kinda checks out for his character but FUCK it hurts
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Confidence, Poor Judgment, and a Death Wish by TheHeartWantsWhatTheHeartWants
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
27 Dec 2025
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Summary
Troy Barrett comes to Ottawa wanting stability. He tells himself he wants the team, the routine, the structure, the safety of fitting in without needing too much from anyone. This is his clean start, and he needs to do whatever it takes to keep it.
What he finds instead is Shane Hollander, amazing perfect Shane Hollander, and the uncomfortable realisation that the thing he’s been trying hardest not to want might be the only thing that actually feels like what he needs.
As lines blur and tempers rise, Troy learns the hard way that wanting to belong can turn into wanting to keep, and that some things aren’t up for negotiation, especially when there’s a Russian captain who’s already decided what’s not on offer.
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“Hey, Ilya?” Troy asks, already regretting it. “I was actually going to ask you about someone.”
The moment he says Shane Hollander’s name, the locker room goes quiet, and Troy knows he’s crossed a line he didn’t fully understand.
Or
Troy’s POV of the events best called ‘Ilya’s worst nightmare’
Series
- Part 1 of Freckles and Other Versions Of The Truth
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,222
- Chapters:
- 7/7
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- 791
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- 4,909
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Bookmarked by bamonbitch
11 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
i’m ngl i am a sucker for jealous!ilya because it just ignites something in me and him being possessive/jealous suits his character but HOLY SHIT i didn’t expect him to beat troy’s ass!!! like what the fuck LMAO i literally could not believe that he acc put his hands on him!! i felt bad for troy because he got beat up but damn he was damn near asking for it. like you have an inkling that these two guys are dating and you’re constantly flirting w shane and actively egging ilya on….i mean the man has balls i’ll give him that. but i loved this fic so much. it was interesting to see hollanov frm another pov — particularly someone who doesn’t know either one of them too well. OMG but another thing that kinda pissed me off is that troy was trying to infantilize shane and make it seem as if ilya was forcing shane to not be out and he was w him against his own will. ik im ranting but that pissed me off lol. like shane loves it there ntm
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still the best (still an asshole) by pucksandpower
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
21 Dec 2025
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Four times Ilya Rozanov reminded everyone exactly who the fuck they were dealing with (spoiler: still an asshole, still elite, still not going anywhere), and one time he didn’t have to be anything except soft.
Or being out didn’t make him nicer. Being married didn’t make him softer. Being older didn’t make him weaker. And being a father? Well. That’t when things get complicated.
(He’s really good at that last part. Don’t tell anyone.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,287
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- 5/5
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- 930
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Bookmarked by bamonbitch
01 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
omg 🥹 there were a lot of great lines in this fic — “you think because i suck dick i am soft?” was my favorite and ughhhh i’m so happy i came across this story. i acc love seeing things from ilya’s pov and i love his internal monologue. this was chef’s kiss