1 - 20 of 76 Bookmarks by bamonbitch
Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Shane’s heart drops into his stomach. “Ilya,” he breathes. His vision goes blurry, throat tight. He tries to swallow it down and focus, shove his swirling thoughts into a neat little box, but it’s impossible. He feels—he might throw up, actually. “Are you seriously telling me you tried to fucking kill yourself?”
“Yes,” Ilya agrees blandly, “It did not work.”
Ilya calls Shane from the hospital. Shane handles it very normally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,092
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 278
- Kudos:
- 8,523
- Bookmarks:
- 1,629
- Hits:
- 41,629
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
21 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
this was a fucking gut punch because what the fuck. it was beautifully written and i actually cried while reading this. shane saying “did you really try to kill yourself?” and ilya replying “yes but it did not work.” is so him that it’s actually so sad. one thing that i kind of relate to w ilya is self deprecating jokes to hide pain and trauma and fuckkkkkk this was one of those moments (not suicidal btw and nvr have been) but the way this was written was just so visual for me. i could actually see hudson and connor as ilya and shane acting out this scene. and another thing that broke my heart was that ilya thought shane still just wanted to fuck after his suicide attempt and shane was like wtf is wrong w you?! i’m trying to check on you and ilya was surprised at the thought of shane caring about him outside of sex 💔💔💔💔 my poor baby
-
The Second First Time by Allive
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
26 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
Shane Hollander wakes up in a hospital room convinced it’s 2016 — and that Ilya Rozanov is still his biggest rival, someone he’s supposed to hate.
But the world has changed. It’s 2025. They play for the same team, live in the same house, and Ilya Rozanov is wearing a wedding ring.
Now Shane has to relive nine lost years, learn to trust his ‘enemy,’ and find out whether he can fall in love with his own husband all over again.Series
- Part 1 of Again, and Always
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,706
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 1,762
- Kudos:
- 15,339
- Bookmarks:
- 3,738
- Hits:
- 416,124
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
20 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
such a good fic. my only qualm is that i read this when it wasn’t fully completed. but so heartbreaking tbh. when i read the first chapter and shane was so confused and angry at the world and ilya i was so sad for my boy :( but such a good read. i love how shane fell in love w ilya all over again
-
i love you, ya tebya lyublyu, je t'aime by moonlightdances
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
09 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
“Because I can’t fucking do this, Ilya. I’m going to my parents’, I- I need a break, alright? Shit.” Shane’s gaze locked onto his keys and he picked them up, stalking towards the door. He needed a break from the arguing and he needed to go somewhere he could breathe and collect his thoughts, so he could process this correctly and talk about it with Ilya civilly. Everything was still suffocating and overwhelming and Shane needed out, needed to go sit in his car and drive in silence to his parents’ place.
-
Ilya had seen enough breakups to know what one looked like. Shane ignored him, and looked irritated, and said he couldn’t do this (this, like everything between them could be reduced to a single word other than love), and said he needed a break (his confidence in Ilya’s English was comforting up until Ilya realised it meant Shane didn’t feel the need to say the dramatic I’m breaking up with you that characterised the ends of relationships).or, hollanov fight and misunderstandings resulting in an injury ensue
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
12 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
i am an utter whore for angst but this was heartbreaking…..reading ilya p much say that he was okay w dying because he thought he didn’t have shane anymore broke me. ilya being codependent kinda checks out for his character but FUCK it hurts
-
Confidence, Poor Judgment, and a Death Wish by TheHeartWantsWhatTheHeartWants
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
27 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
Troy Barrett comes to Ottawa wanting stability. He tells himself he wants the team, the routine, the structure, the safety of fitting in without needing too much from anyone. This is his clean start, and he needs to do whatever it takes to keep it.
What he finds instead is Shane Hollander, amazing perfect Shane Hollander, and the uncomfortable realisation that the thing he’s been trying hardest not to want might be the only thing that actually feels like what he needs.
As lines blur and tempers rise, Troy learns the hard way that wanting to belong can turn into wanting to keep, and that some things aren’t up for negotiation, especially when there’s a Russian captain who’s already decided what’s not on offer.
or
“Hey, Ilya?” Troy asks, already regretting it. “I was actually going to ask you about someone.”
The moment he says Shane Hollander’s name, the locker room goes quiet, and Troy knows he’s crossed a line he didn’t fully understand.
Or
Troy’s POV of the events best called ‘Ilya’s worst nightmare’
Series
- Part 1 of Freckles and Other Versions Of The Truth
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,222
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 823
- Kudos:
- 5,072
- Bookmarks:
- 1,135
- Hits:
- 140,101
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
11 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
i’m ngl i am a sucker for jealous!ilya because it just ignites something in me and him being possessive/jealous suits his character but HOLY SHIT i didn’t expect him to beat troy’s ass!!! like what the fuck LMAO i literally could not believe that he acc put his hands on him!! i felt bad for troy because he got beat up but damn he was damn near asking for it. like you have an inkling that these two guys are dating and you’re constantly flirting w shane and actively egging ilya on….i mean the man has balls i’ll give him that. but i loved this fic so much. it was interesting to see hollanov frm another pov — particularly someone who doesn’t know either one of them too well. OMG but another thing that kinda pissed me off is that troy was trying to infantilize shane and make it seem as if ilya was forcing shane to not be out and he was w him against his own will. ik im ranting but that pissed me off lol. like shane loves it there ntm
-
still the best (still an asshole) by pucksandpower
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
20 Dec 2025
Tags
Summary
Four times Ilya Rozanov reminded everyone exactly who the fuck they were dealing with (spoiler: still an asshole, still elite, still not going anywhere), and one time he didn’t have to be anything except soft.
Or being out didn’t make him nicer. Being married didn’t make him softer. Being older didn’t make him weaker. And being a father? Well. That’t when things get complicated.
(He’s really good at that last part. Don’t tell anyone.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,287
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 991
- Kudos:
- 22,646
- Bookmarks:
- 5,075
- Hits:
- 217,894
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
01 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
omg 🥹 there were a lot of great lines in this fic — “you think because i suck dick i am soft?” was my favorite and ughhhh i’m so happy i came across this story. i acc love seeing things from ilya’s pov and i love his internal monologue. this was chef’s kiss
-
The Game Plan by FestiveFerret, pouringinsheets
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
24 Dec 2022
Tags
Summary
Shane Hollander is the number two overall NHL draft pick and a newly minted Montreal Voyageur. He’s also laser focused on his goals: being the best by beating the best. For him, this means a continued rivalry with number one draft pick—and new Ottawa Centaur—Ilya Rozanov. But when a problem with Rozanov’s immigration paperwork threatens his future in the NHL, what does that mean for Shane’s own career? He can’t risk finding out…so they get married. Just for immigration. A fast, practical, mutually beneficial solution.
No one will ever suspect, let alone find out, that the NHL’s greatest rivals are secretly married. And there’s certainly no risk of feelings getting involved. They have a game plan.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,024
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 1,325
- Kudos:
- 19,122
- Bookmarks:
- 5,986
- Hits:
- 370,223
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
29 Dec 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
so this is like my second fic i’ve read after leaving the cottage (😭😓) and i must say this was such an enjoyable read. i haven’t read the books so i can’t gauge book!ilya and shane’s personalities but the tv show definitely does them justice. i love a good slow burn and this was chef’s kiss! 💋 it was actually v funny to see shane scrambling about whether ilya likes him fr or not but everyone w eyes can see that he’s in love w him. i just love them and this fic <3 as corny as it might sound…true love prevails <3 <3
-
Tags
Summary
Following on immediately from the S3 finale, this fic tracks Sydney and Carmy on a journey over the course of five years.
Follow along as they find each other, lose each other, find themselves, and land right back at the place they were always meant to be - with each other.
Inspired by Whitney Houston's sophomore album, “Whitney”, each chapter is loosely inspired by a different track on the album.Bookmarked by bamonbitch
16 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
so sad that i finished this but my god it was perfect. the angst, pettiness, yearning was a fucking punch in the gut. i loved the friendships/relationships in this fic too — luca/marcus, nat/syd, syd/richie, carmy and emmanuel??? emmanuel calling carmy son and being the father figure in his life never had?! i mean come onnnnnnn! this fic had everything and it was such a great read. i honestly think it’s my favorite sydcarmy story of all time. i can’t swallow how good this was. i can’t
-
is it casual now? by glittercake
Fandoms: Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies), Captain America (Chris Evans Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
29 Mar 2025
Tags
Summary
“Friends, huh? That what we are?” There’s suddenly a deeper tone to Bucky's voice. He's probably sitting in his office, with his secretary right outside. Behind the same desk they banged on a few weeks ago. God. Sam inhales and shifts around in his chair.
“That’s what you said. Right, buddy?” Sam revels in the ever-suffering groan Bucky lets out. Knows he’s tossing his head back, opening up the smooth length of his neck that Sam loves to dig his teeth into.
“I explained about that.”
“Was that before or after you choked me out? Can’t recall right now. Maybe you can jog my memory—”
-
Tags
Summary
Carmy finds a scribbled first draft of a resignation from Sydney, in an effort to make her stay he asks how long she has before Shapiro needs an answer from her.
One month.
One month to show Sydney why she should stay and not lose her forever.
-
Tags
Summary
Claire needs help looking for the perfect birthday gift for her boyfriend, Carmen, and she finds just the right person to help her do so.
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
09 May 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
i rmber this being published in 2024 and i was so pissed that there wasn’t any other chapters but now…2025 and more chapters were posted and i really liked it lol? i’m surprised because i do not like claire and in this fic she’s acc charming lol and into sydney which is kinda hot? 😵💫
-
Glory Days by glittercake
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies)
22 Jul 2023
Tags
Summary
Maybe there’ll be photos in the papers tomorrow of this exact moment—Jimmy blowing a kiss and Sam smiling the way he is, but no one’s ever gonna know the truth.
And that is: Jimmy Piper’s whole world is up there. He’s never been an honest man, but he means that without exaggeration. Everything he’s got—this car, his house, the stupid thousand dollar shoes, the gold around his neck—he’d give it all up for that man. He’d drop it and never look back. Long as he’s got Sam.
That’s God’s honest truth.
Series
- Part 1 of Kings
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,047
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 39
- Kudos:
- 243
- Bookmarks:
- 45
- Hits:
- 2,803
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
10 Mar 2025
-
Tags
Summary
For her eighteenth birthday Cleo Emmanuelle Adamu received: one hundred and fifty dollars in cash from her various cousins in Louisiana, a hardback copy of Annie Allen by Gwendolyn Brooks from her best friend Tea Cake, silk scarves from her uncle Marcus, a portable telescope to take to college in the fall from her grandfather, the keys to a beat-up Vespa and a helmet, do not get on that scooter without your helmet from her mother, and the identity of her biological father from the Chicago Sperm Bank.
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
23 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
not me actually crying 🥹 especially in the end w cleo’s speech. soooo sweet omg. the yearning for 20 years between syd and carmy was insane but holy shit i could feel the chemistry and angst….the way that this was written was so beautiful and perfect. like i can’t even explain the way this made me feel. carmy and syd in their forties/fifties yearning for each other is something that i can never get over. this has to be one of my favorite family fics/kids fics involving them
-
Tags
Summary
Sydney closes her eyes, chewing, contemplating, and a little hmm escapes from her lips before she swallows. “Okay. Jesus. That’s good. Like really good.”
“Yeah? You think?”
“Oh, yeah. I like how light the broth is. I also—I really like the color scheme you’ve got going on here. Reminds me of one of my bandanas. It’s all yellow and green.”
His throat clamps up. “Oh?”
“You’ve probably seen it. I wear it a lot.”
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
13 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
carmy is so cute in this! the way he’s actually obsessed w syd is adorable. such a cute fic. love it to pieces
-
Tags
Summary
Sydney crashes at Carmy’s hotel room after neither of their restaurants make the ‘World’s 50 Best Restaurants’ list.
Why’d you agree to come?
I didn’t really make the decision to come. Not consciously. It just happened. Just felt natural, I guess. For me to be here. For us to be mourning our losses together.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,042
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 76
- Bookmarks:
- 9
- Hits:
- 765
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
11 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
ugh so fucking good. and i love the way its formatted as a play. just 💋 chef’s kiss!
-
Tags
Summary
It’s a google search for someone named Sydney Adamu.
She’s absolutely beautiful. It’s the first thought that comes to Carmen’s mind as he flips through a couple of her gettys images and headshots. Pretty braids that travel down her back in one photo, big bouncy curls in another. The brownest eyes he’s ever seen and an insanely cute smile. Fancy dinners and galas, articles and a cookbook to be released. Like 700k on Instagram too.
“Got a James Beard nom when she was like 16, went to the Culinary Institute, graduated top of her class, got a Michelin star at 20. I’m surprised you don’t know who she is, weren’t you like a fancy ass chef?”
“Yeah I guess. I-I mean I’ve never seen her around.” Too caught up in my own bullshit. “Why are you showing me this?” Carmen asks, taking a last pull from his cig before stomping it out.
“Guy in charge wants her dead.”
**********
in which carmy's desperate and sydney can't die with a perpetual witness by her side.
right?
Series
- Part 8 of in another world it's still you
-
Tags
Summary
"Alright girls, ready to enter the Love Island Villa?"
Sydney just gives them a nervous nod while the five other girls shriek in excitement.
Fuck, she's still not sure if this is a good idea or not. She only applied to Love Island on a dare one night when she and her friend Janine were slightly drunk. She truly hadn't expected them to call her back and offer her a spot as one of the Casa girls for the new season. She thought about rejecting it at first, but then she realized it could be good exposure for her catering business.
However, she still can't wrap her head around the fact that the Carmen Berzatto - best CDC of the United States and creator of the best dish she's ever tasted - is here. Not in a Michelin-starred kitchen, not in a food competition show, but in the Love Island Villa. And in just a few minutes, she's going to meet him.
_____
Or Carmy and Sydney meet on Love Island
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
20 Nov 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
i think this has to be one of my favorite (if not my all time favorite) AUs! so cute!
-
Tags
Summary
WANTED: Female, aged 20-30, to be my date for Christmas eve dinner with my Italian-American family. Must be willing to eat my mom’s cooking. No physical intimacy required. No strings attached—I will drive you home after. 4pm-10pm, 12/24. Salary negotiable. Call Carmen: (773) 555-0901.
OR: The one in which Sydney just needs a job, and Carmy will die before he proves Richie right.
Series
-
Tags
Summary
Carmy after Sydney leaves.
Series
- Part 10 of The Million Little Things
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
04 Jul 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
the range of emotions that went through me as i read this. i was smiling like an idiot throughout and swooning like a lovesick child. ugh i love this. i love the angst and i love the happy ending. so beautifully written. 100000/10 <3
-
Tags
Summary
Sydney and Carmy had always been simultaneously everything and nothing to each other. Two souls snared in the liminal space between the known and unknown.
These were the hard facts. Facts she kept repeating over and over to keep herself grounded. Keep herself sane. Carmy used to stand unassailable on the pedestal she built for him in her emerald youth. Carmy used to be her boss at the Beef. Carmy was the Executive Chef at the Bear. Carmy was her partner.
Carmy was currently two fingers deep in Sydney, thong to the side, pushing her up against the door of his apartment as she sweated out her silk press.
-
Tags
Summary
Sydney gave a wan smile. “You look so handsome.” To which Carmy doesn’t answer, looking right through her as if she wasn’t there at all.
“Hey.” She said softly, straightening the tie before kissing his jaw. A sad attempt to pull him out of whatever hole he was currently stuck in.
He's off somewhere distant. Past their bedroom walls, out the apartment, down the 3 flights of stairs and out the lobby door to the busy sidewalk below. If she could guess, dodging a crowd of pedestrians, legs picking up speed trying to run into tomorrow, away from the assured misery today held.
-
A story of Sydney and Carmy's relationship and building love and life around grief.
Bookmarked by bamonbitch
05 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
so beautiful 🥲 i literally cried reading this lmao