bernard_trigger



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya glances at Shane, at the way the dying light is catching in his hair, refracting. At that spiderlily mouth, slightly open and curling coyly, two teeth peeked through the dark gap like an American Girl doll. At that shoulder, bare and pale and close enough to touch if Ilya just leaned forward, if he just reached out and took another liberty.

    To touch another person is to say: I know you will die, and I am doing this anyway.

    His mother used to say something like this. About painting.

    Every portrait is an act of faith, Ilyushenka. Faith and futility both.

    contrary to personal preference, ilya gets a roommate.

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    14 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    ilyarozanovofficial ✓ on Instagram
    [a slideshow post of Ilya and Shane’s time in the Bahamas, complete with scenic sunset pictures, coconuts by the beach, and a shot of Shane from the back showing only his forearm and his hand linked with Ilya’s, leading him forward]
    getaway
    1.4m likes, 3,683 comments

    COMMENTS:

    S_Hollander24
    You look very nice in that swimsuit
    4 likes

    ilyarozanovofficial
    @S_Hollander24 sorry, i have a boyfriend
    2,384 likes

    The only thing the media knows about famous model Ilya Rozanov's secret boyfriend is that he exists. Shane is happy to keep their relationship private, until he isn't.

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    01 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Maybe if the video ended there, Shane thought, it would be okay. Okayish. Still incriminating. Still a fucking disaster. Still embarrassing, to have his breakup with this beautiful actress filmed and disseminated on Reddit of all fucking places, but not a nail in his coffin, burying him alive. But the video didn’t end there.

    “Can I ask if you’ve ever been with another guy?” she had to ask.

    And he, tears visible in his eyes, had to nod.

    Just once. Just a single nod.

    Why did he have to nod?

    “Have you ever told anyone that before?” He shook his head. “Was it different? With a guy?”

    “Of course.”

    Of course.

    “Was it better?”

    “Yes.”

    +++

    Shane’s conversation with Rose is secretly recorded. Months later, after the All-Star game and Ilya’s confession in Russian, the video gets leaked online. Shane is outed to the world while Ilya is in Russia, and must now finish the 2016-2017 season with the entire world in on his secret.

    Series
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    29 Dec 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Lily

    Kissed someone. Told her to leave.

    Still thinking of you.

    Oh, you looked at me.

    Fuck, look at you, sweetheart.

    My pretty boy.

    Get your hands off of her waist.

    I know you can feel your phone vibrating.

    I know you feel me looking at you.

    Tell her you have to go. NOW.

    Hollander, I will not ask again.

    or
    heated rivalry, as told though text messages and tweets.


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    23 Dec 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He only realizes he’s doing it when it’s too late to stop.

    He’s standing in the drink aisle of the grocery store, checking the expiration dates on the cans of Coke, mentally cross-checking them with Boston’s away game schedule, and the reality hits him like someone shook one of those cans and popped it open. A snap. A fizz. A mess.

    Shane is making space for Ilya.

     

    (or, lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked)

    Language:
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    22 Dec 2025