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“If you’re a freak, it’s because you’re a Matthews, not because you’re gay,” Shawn tried to assure Morgan, and she grinned brutally again.
“The perfect all-American apple pie Matthews? Please. I’m a fuck-up.”
“Being gay doesn’t make you a fuck-up.”
“It sure doesn’t help!” Morgan snapped, then closed her eyes for a moment. “My mom’s gonna be so fucking disappointed.”
**
Or, queer angst: graduation party edition.Bookmarked by circular_infinity
08 May 2026
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Eddie tries to get them home.
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
19 Mar 2026
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The thing is, Buck’s been getting along just fine not thinking about it. When it first happened, he’d chalked it up to a weird grief thing. A temporary bout of insanity. Eddie hadn’t seemed keen to discuss it either, and so Buck happily shoved it into a mental box labeled Never Think About This Again.
Except, not talking about it had backfired. His friendship with Eddie had turned awkward, then unbearable. Obviously, it was Buck’s fault. Buck, who never knew when to leave well enough alone. Buck, who’s too intense, too needy, and too much. Part of him is shocked it took this long for everything to implode. He and Eddie have been on a collision course since the day last year when Eddie told Buck he was leaving. Maybe since before that.
The kiss was just the moment of impact.
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
28 Dec 2025
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The plant Stolas picks up this time is—well it’s—he pauses to look at the thing. He tilts his head. He reminds himself he cannot be an asshole (aka himself) right now; Stolas is delicate and he needs encouragement and unconditional support. There’s gotta be a nice way to say this.
“That thing’s fucking hideous.”
OR
Stolas nurses a sick plant back to health. Blitzø does too.
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
14 Dec 2025
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" It's hard to say when he gets worried about it. Blitzø has been constantly stressed since - well, that's not a good hole to dig - at least the trial. All of today, he's been pretty fucking terrified of what Stolas might say or do when he gets up. But when it's dark again, he's plagued by the scarier thought that Stolas might just. Not get up. "
Or:
Stolas is having a hard time after Sinsmas. So is Blitzø.
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
13 Dec 2025
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lay right down in my favorite place by kermytheefrog (tardigradeschool)
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
25 Jan 2025
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Eddie has to stop Chris from sneaking food to the dog during dinner. “I know the meatballs aren’t your favorite,” he says tiredly. “But they have garlic in them, which isn’t good for the dog.”
Chris stops immediately, to his credit. “Sorry,” he says, and leans down to performatively whisper to the dog, “You’re not missing much anyway.”
“Hey,” Eddie says, with no heat. “I know they aren’t as good as --” He catches himself.
Chris wilts in his chair. “Sorry,” he mumbles again, and Eddie hates himself so much that for a second, he can’t breathe.
“Hen brought treats we can give the dog after dinner,” he tries instead, and Ladder Truck Dog’s ears prick up at the sound of words he recognizes, which at least makes Chris smile, just a little.
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Buck goes missing. The 118 gets a dog. These two facts are unrelated, right?
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
17 Aug 2025
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“Buck, I told you, there’s no rush. You being here for however long you need is not a problem.”
Buck rubs at his brow to do something with his hands, Eddie’s eyes tracking his every move like a hawk. “I know that, Eddie. I heard you.”
“Did you?” Eddie asks. “Hear me?”
Eddie comes back home. Buck runs away.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,072
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 149
- Kudos:
- 2,313
- Bookmarks:
- 562
- Hits:
- 21,487
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
16 Aug 2025
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So maybe Buck actually is in love with his straight best friend. It's cool, though. He knows Eddie gets it, even if Maddie doesn't.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,775
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 220
- Kudos:
- 1,536
- Bookmarks:
- 384
- Hits:
- 13,138
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
01 Aug 2025
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“Eddie, I’m in love with you,” he says, heart thrumming in his chest, in his throat, in his mouth. He feels hot and cold and dizzy by turns.
“What?” asks Eddie faintly, barely even a question.
“I’m in love with you,” Buck says again. “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, but I am. I am.”
“You– Right, okay,” says Eddie, so visibly buffering that it makes Buck’s heart clench a little in his chest. Of course he’s in love with Eddie. How could he possibly have let himself pretend otherwise. “Wasn’t expecting this, bud,” says Eddie, and he sounds so shocked that Buck can’t help a wry smile. Of course Eddie’s surprised. They must be the only two people in existence who didn’t already know. “I– Buck, man, you know that I care about you, but…”
“I know,” he says gently to Eddie, because he did know, but that doesn't make this moment hurt any less.
---
Post season 8, Buck confesses his feelings, Eddie lets him down as gently as he can, and they both try to figure out how to be just friends.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,476
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 407
- Kudos:
- 4,103
- Bookmarks:
- 905
- Hits:
- 36,166
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
11 Jul 2025
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As best I can figure out, anyway. Sources cited.
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
13 Apr 2025
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Everyone knows that when you touch someone who's going to be important to you for the first time, you'll leave a mark on them. It's not just romantic love; parents and children, siblings, close friends all share marks too. At least, they do in theory. Maddie's the only person who's ever touched Buck and left anything behind.
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It’s funny, growing up knowing your parents don’t care about you. The kind of funny that would get Evan uninvited from sleepovers, which is why he always changes into his pajamas in the bathroom. The kind of funny that he’s not allowed to ask his parents about. The kind of funny that makes Maddie look at him so sadly sometimes, when she doesn’t realize he can see her out of the corners of his eyes.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,384
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 300
- Kudos:
- 5,099
- Bookmarks:
- 1,248
- Hits:
- 37,585
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
07 Apr 2025
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best friends, kidneys, and other things you can survive losing by kermytheefrog (tardigradeschool)
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
28 Feb 2025
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"We were also concerned about possible organ damage, particularly since you only have one kidney, but your ribs took the brunt of the impact," the doctor tells him. "We'll know more when the swelling from the penetrating wound goes down."
Ha, Buck thinks. Penetrating.
"Wait," Eddie says. "That's not right. Buck has both his kidneys."
The doctor consults the chart again, her eyebrows drawing together. “I’m sorry, Mr Buckley, is there an error in your medical history? I have it right here that you only have your right kidney, is that correct?"
"Ye-es," Buck says. He can feel Eddie’s gaze on the side of his face and studiously avoids it.
"What?" Eddie says. "How did I not know this? When did you lose a kidney, was this when you were a kid?"
"Uh..." Buck says. "Aha. Last year."
Eddie's face shifts from perplexed to horrified to thunderous all within about two seconds. It would be funny to see his stoicism so rattled under different circumstances. "When I was in Texas?"
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Buck is determined not to fall back on old coping mechanisms after Eddie leaves for Texas. So he invents a new one: organ donation.Bookmarked by circular_infinity
07 Apr 2025
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No one wants to hear your misery (they got their own) by paleredheadinascifi
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
26 Jan 2025
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This is a story about misery. But, mostly, it’s a story about joy, and learning how to choose it.
Or, Eddie reckons with returning to a place that makes him miserable, for a kid that makes him whole. There he finds his sisters, a blast from the past, and permission to choose his future.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,904
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 222
- Kudos:
- 1,163
- Bookmarks:
- 313
- Hits:
- 12,367
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
25 Feb 2025
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He’s already here.
There’s no harm in staying. Just for a couple minutes. Something could happen. Something could go terribly wrong. There could be, like, a robbery or something. Something could catch on fire, and Buck is a firefighter! An asteroid could even descend cinematically from the heavens ready to wipe out all of humanity. Accidents happen, Buck is intimately acquainted with this fact of life.
Buck really wishes he had that coffee right about now. But he’s not gonna leave.
Or, Eddie tells Buck he’s moving to Texas. In response—as the world’s most supportive, caring and well-adjusted best friend—these are three things Buck absolutely does not do:
- Keep tabs on Eddie, his calendar activity and his iPhone location so that he can spend as much time with Eddie as humanly possible before he leaves.
- Almost violate California Penal Code 646.9.
- Lose his entire fucking mind.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,203
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 201
- Kudos:
- 1,986
- Bookmarks:
- 427
- Hits:
- 24,989
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
10 Feb 2025
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"Listen, I can read between the lines. You're the birthday girl, he's the fiancé, I'm the present, right? Full disclosure, I have like six and a half roommates, so I hope you don't want to come to my place."
"Jesus, I knew the economy was bad, but six? And a half?" Tommy asks.
"That's four official roommates, two roommates' girlfriends who don't pay rent, and one fuckbuddy who supposedly isn't anything serious but still sleeps over four nights a week." Buck counts them off on his fingers. It's not that he doesn't ever bring girls back to his place, but he knows instinctively that a woman like Abby deserves better than a mattress on the floor and music blasting from the other side of the wall.
"Can't argue with that math," Abby says, finishing her wine.
"Well, we don't have any roommates," Tommy says, "but we do have a California king."
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Buck gets picked up in a bar and has a threesome so good it breaks an engagement. The engagement isn't even his, which might make it worse.Bookmarked by circular_infinity
10 Feb 2025
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Buck keeps him everywhere. He’s smuggling him into every inch left vacant, because like this, he doesn’t lose him, won’t lose him. Like this, he gets to keep Eddie forever, even if it’s just the pieces and the memories attached. The reminder of him will haunt him and this apartment like a ghost. Because Buck can’t trap him in his apartment and force him to stay, he’d never ask that, couldn’t ask that, but he’s going to damn well do his best to salvage it in some form. He’s kidnapping Eddie’s shadow, no matter how much it hurts, and there’s no choice about it.
Eddie announces he’s leaving. Buck, naturally, begins a slow descent to madness.
[ALT. summary: Buck has resolved to be the greatest friend ever. He’s handling this move so well. And not at all being abnormal about Eddie’s house. Or Eddie’s belongings. Or, well. Eddie.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,274
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 374
- Kudos:
- 2,607
- Bookmarks:
- 730
- Hits:
- 33,382
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
02 Feb 2025
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Buck helps him pack. Of course he does. Buck’s helpful like that.
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Eddie leaves for Texas.
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
30 Dec 2024
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Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.
But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”
—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—
So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,163
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 858
- Kudos:
- 28,865
- Bookmarks:
- 7,438
- Hits:
- 326,489
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
14 Dec 2024
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It’s not like Buck needs anyone to tell him what his issues are. They might as well be written on his forehead in bright red marker. He’s not ignoring it or anything; Buck just doesn’t see the point in re-litigating them every time he feels like this, every time he feels like a dog that got sent back to the pound. It’s not like he doesn’t have his friends and family, and Tommy is sleeping right next to him, but there’s a hole in Buck’s chest he’s had since he was born and he still doesn’t know how to fill it.
When the 118 is closed for reconstruction after an earthquake, Buck is a floater for different stations around the city. He tries not to let it get to him. Much.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 2,201
- Bookmarks:
- 708
- Hits:
- 22,395
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
07 Dec 2024
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“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”
Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.
“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.
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or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,258
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 629
- Kudos:
- 20,352
- Bookmarks:
- 5,085
- Hits:
- 234,719
Bookmarked by circular_infinity
06 Dec 2024