fullmoonhermit



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    When Shane Hollander looks into the future he sees— not a flat sheet of ice, not that, not anymore, but something equally as empty.

    His backup plan was always to go to university. He hadn't thought he'd ever need it, not really. Especially not near the end, when everything felt so certain. But his grades were good, his mom made sure of that, so when he woke up in the hospital he already knew what he was going to do next. But after?

    There's a standard path people take, he knows, that comes after school. But when he tries to picture it, slot himself into the picket fence and the corporate overhead fluorescents, it disappears. Like it was never going to be real at all.

    (Or: after ending up at a jazz bar to celebrate the end of finals season, Shane Hollander finds himself where he never thought he'd be— in the orbit of NHL superstar Ilya Rozanov.)

    Series
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    5/9
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    22 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya was good at noticing things about people, and he was good at understanding them. Shane was not. That was okay. Shane had developed his own way of getting to know Ilya. It involved a lot of inane questions and, more importantly, no longer involved condoms.

    Language:
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    22 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “It is the worst day of my life,” Ilya declares, throwing himself dramatically onto one of the kitchen stools. “I went to go get lunch at Russian place I like, the one with lamb pelmeni? They had sign on the door. They are closing. Forever.”

    -

    Or: Ilya’s favorite Russian restaurant in Ottawa is going out of business. There is only one thing Shane “Mr. Real Estate” Hollander can do.

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    English
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    3,728
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    1/1
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    22 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "Sveta," he says, before she can greet him. "I think I'm about to do something very stupid."

    "You're always doing something stupid," she laughs, her voice tinny over the speakerphone. "What is it this time?"

    "I am in a staring contest with a bottle of pills," Ilya says. "And I think the pills might win."

    -

    Or: An alternate take on Ilya's mental health after moving to Ottawa, featuring the reality of long distance relationships, Ilya learning to captain a new team, and a series of game tapes made by Ilya's dead father.

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    English
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    14,171
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    1/1
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    21 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 29

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    Ilya has a particular way of holding himself when he’s listening to Shane like this, when the air is thin and fragile between them. He goes very still, eyes wide open, the perfect absurd bow of his lips the only trembling thing. It isn’t enough, Shane thinks. This little soft-shuffle step towards better, God, it feels like a fucking mockery. It isn’t enough when Ilya is this, this warm-breathing world that Shane loves so completely, this thing that roars through his body like waves on rocks, sending him tumbling.

    --

    Shane and Ilya are three years out from retirement, on their second billet kid, and they're trying to figure out the future.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,476
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    236
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    21 Feb 2026