iridia098



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    Price, Ghost, Soap, and Gaz all enlisted when they were practically kids and the military basically raised them as a result. They know how to dismantle a rifle blindfolded, patch a sucking chest wound, and conduct recon in hostile territory; but put them in a normal house, in a normal neighborhood, in a normal environment and suddenly it’s game over.

    Because they’re bad at it. Really bad. By Day Three you have already decided that the four men across the street are either undercover agents, aliens trying out human cosplay, or the weirdest polycule of gay men on the eastern seaboard.

    Because how the fuck do four fully grown men collectively fail to figure out how to operate a lawn mower or light a grill without a column of flame visible to the ISS?

    Or: A comprehensive log of why your home insurance premium is about to skyrocket.

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    8/?
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    18 Oct 2025

  2. Public Bookmark 10

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    John feels Robby’s face tighten under his palm, lips pursing. The metal fork dings slightly as it’s set in the container. Robby’s hand shakes slightly as it covers John’s over his face. Their hands link, fingers interlaced.

    “John,” Robby says.

    Language:
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    14 Oct 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    [unknown number]
    not fuvkin comig in tmr.

    I blinked, then tapped the notification.

    [Me]: ???
    [unknown number]: fk it. what ar yo goin do? disvcarge me.?

    I stared at the nearly incomprehensible message. Clearly, whoever was on the other end was in no state of mind to be typing. My finger hovered over the three dots in the top corner, ready to block them, but I hesitated. In that moment, another message came through.

    [unknown number]: wish u wld. sick if it all. kick me our alrdy.
    [unknown number]: less then I can off mself witou geying u in troble

    Before I even realized what I was doing, I pressed call on the mystery number, holding the phone to my ear. Whoever this stranger was, they were obviously further along in a similar boat to me. A kindred spirit.
    He picked up on the fifth ring.
    “...Fuk ye wan?” The man muttered, voice slurring heavily, his thick accent not making it any easier to understand him.
    I swallowed. I hadn't actually thought about what happened when I got this far.
    “H-hey,” I stuttered, voice embarrassingly weak. “I think you texted the wrong number but…I wanted to check on you?”

    Language:
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    14 Oct 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Bilbo's motives for going on Gandalf's ridiculous quest across Middle Earth to fight a dragon were really not that complicated: Nori was there, and Bilbo would be damned if he let Nori go without him.

    Or, in which Bilbo is more familiar with a certain member of the company than the others are entirely comfortable with.

    Edit 13/08/2014: Hi guys - I've been asked several times so I'm just putting a general note out (sorry I didn't do so sooner, I guess I didn't realize I needed to): This story is NOT abandoned and WILL BE continued. I am currently completing a very rigorous Master's program right now and need to focus all my attention on that. AToTT will be updated later this fall when I've finished my dissertation. Thank you all for your patience and understanding! Much love.

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    12 Oct 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 72

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    The first time Nori had met Bilbo Baggins-Took, it went without saying that it could definitely have gone better. It could also have gone worse, to be fair. The first time they had met one another without the pretence of being thieves in the streets of Ered Luin, the cheeky Hobbit had the audacity to dangle Nori’s stolen pipe from his fingers, offering the dwarf a jaunty wink before pocketing it from across his aunt’s dinner table.

    Things only improve since then.

    -

    A canon-divergent fix-it fic. In a roundabout sort of way.

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    11 Oct 2025