mmmmerthur
Fandoms
- MIU404 (TV) (11)
- Merlin (TV) (1)
Recent works
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Summary
So Arthur will lay here. In all of his pain, all of his hurt, all of his throbbing aches. He will not ask for help. He will not burden another with the problem that is himself.
Or Arthur is in an abusive relationship with Guinevere. One day she goes too far, and Merlin is there to save him.
(Warning: This is not the Gwen we know and love, heed the tags.)
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Summary
(Re-uploaded and heavily updated.)
His gaze unfocuses as he traces his fingers over the tape. He thinks about how he cried in front of Ibuki that day, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him in, clutching onto him in desperate comfort. He can still feel Ibuki’s lips, soft and reassuring on his forehead.
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Sequel to "Wrapped Wrists"
Series
- Part 2 of Loving You Is Easy
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Summary
“Shimaaaaaa!!” He cries dramatically when he sees his partner running forward to throw his arms around him in a… disgustingly uncomfortably wet hug? Shima will have none of it.
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Ibuki falls into a pool of water, Shima dries him up.
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“It’s always only ever been a suit and a tie. Right, Shima?” He turns an accusatory stare in Shima’s direction and he only huffs in petulant annoyance as a response.
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Shima doesn't know how to tie a tie, Ibuki does, and Shima realizes how he actually feels about Ibuki during the process.
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Summary
“Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to, say stop somewhere secluded and, you know… have a taste.”
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Just a peak into Ibushima's everyday life as a couple.
Very short and indulgent
(Ficlit)
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Buck probably thinks Eddie’s freezing up because he’s remembering the time before Buck, except he isn’t, because he can’t. Buck came along and redefined what it means to touch, to be touched.
And Eddie doesn’t know to explain that. He doesn’t know how to split the whole thing into parts.
How to say: I want you more than I have ever wanted anything. I want you close, and here, and always.
I don’t know how to let you take what I want you to have.
in which eddie can almost, almost let himself have everything with buck. it takes one google invite, one therapist, and a never-ending series of stops and starts to figure out why the almosts keep happening.
(a coda to tell me about despair.)
Series
- Part 2 of tell me about despair
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,712
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 227
- Kudos:
- 2,676
- Bookmarks:
- 386
- Hits:
- 26,869
Bookmarked by mmmmerthur
13 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
coda to tell me about despair eddie has intimacy issues
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Summary
eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place.
except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too: it happens when you gnaw a hole in your lip trying to keep quiet only to have the words escape; when you realize that the ghost you've been seeing out of the corner of your eye is yourself; when your best friend smiles, and you allow it to take your breath away.
it happens through the smallest of things: bird feeders, and cacti, and pasta shapes.
meanwhile, the world goes on.
(or: the entity often affectionately referred to as the unrepression fic.)
Series
- Part 1 of tell me about despair
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 148,982
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 1,373
- Kudos:
- 5,311
- Bookmarks:
- 2,409
- Hits:
- 139,433
Bookmarked by mmmmerthur
11 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
god this was everything such a whump with panic attacks and doubts and toxic relationships. but there is so much warmth and effort and care and love. so many adorable moments with hugs that can be mistaken for standing cuddles and a slow burn up until the last chapter with dialogue so satisfying and character developments that leave your heart aching. this was amazing and i’m so happy to have read it.
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Summary
Eddie looks across the sofa to see Buck’s chin cradled in his hands as he watches them instead of the screen, and Eddie hides his face in Chris’ hair because Buck can see the heat on his skin.
As easy as it is becoming to let Buck in, it astonishes Eddie when Buck is so open and vulnerable with them too. He’s just spent the day taking care of Chris and now he’s smiling so softly and sincerely just watching Eddie and Chris relaxing together. Eddie’s heart beats quickly in his chest and Christopher squirms a bit when he hears it.
“Are you okay, Dad?” Chris whispers. Eddie nods against the mop of curly hair that he should probably schedule a haircut for soon.
“I’m really good, Chris.”
or Eddie rejoins the 118 following the events of season five, slowly finds himself, and realizes along the way that he's in love with his best friend
Bookmarked by mmmmerthur
05 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
so very amazing and adorable ahhh eddie panics and buck holds him
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Summary
“God, Dad. No.” He huffed in displeasure. “I'm not— It's Buck, Dad.”
Eddie barely ever heard that name anymore, except for an echo in his own head, and he went still, looking down at his phone and then replacing it by his ear.
“What— what about him?” Eddie asked, hoping he sounded less thrown off guard than he felt. Hoping he sounded less breathless through the phone than he did to his own ears.
“I got, um, an invite. To his wedding.”
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A story told across five years. Eddie finds out Buck is marrying someone else and reflects on what brought them to this - and what, if anything, he can do about it.
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Summary
She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already.
God, what’s wrong with him? What is this?
or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.