1 - 20 of 76 Bookmarks by noxelementalist
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A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:
The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.
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(01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-
Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.
Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-
Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.
Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.
Series
- Part 1 of IRIS Logs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,825
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 568
- Kudos:
- 5,487
- Bookmarks:
- 2,221
- Hits:
- 34,355
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
04 Jul 2025
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Superman decided to try out a new costume. He did not consult the artist. In fairness, he was a little miffed that he'd been drawing weird porn of him, so. Fair's fair.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,723
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 327
- Kudos:
- 7,331
- Bookmarks:
- 1,476
- Hits:
- 53,622
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
22 Feb 2025
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Iron Man is one of the more persistent villains that the Ultimates face, with a special fondness for one Captain America. As Steve starts to findout more and more about him, the lines between hero and villain begin to blur. Sometimes, you don't have to be on the right side of the law to be in the right.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,823
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 182
- Kudos:
- 6,084
- Bookmarks:
- 1,819
- Hits:
- 134,014
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
31 Dec 2024
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Summary
Draco found the nest down in the Manor’s cellars, while he was clearing them out.
Series
- Part 7 of Harry Potter works
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,355
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 1,167
- Kudos:
- 41,552
- Bookmarks:
- 10,436
- Hits:
- 535,226
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
16 Nov 2024
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Summary
Loki lets go. This is what happens after. (post-film; basically a fixit fic.)
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
15 Nov 2024
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Of course, the transfer kid gets mentioned because transfers are rare, but the news isn’t that exciting. In fact, according to Laura, no one even seems to know his first name. The only thing anyone has really figured out about him is that he’s American. And that’s not exactly hard because he obviously has an accent.
The only thing Derek really knows is that, despite other reports, he seems quiet enough, prefers to work alone, and has the most amazing shade of amber eyes that Derek has ever seen.
Not that he’s looking. Obviously.
OR: A Harry Potter AU where Stiles is a Slytherin transfer student and Derek is the grumpy Gryffindor who falls in love with him.
There are also potions, elves, and falcons involved. Oh, and illegal use of magic. Obviously.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,282
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 805
- Kudos:
- 24,270
- Bookmarks:
- 7,504
- Hits:
- 257,302
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
25 Sep 2024
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My Big Fat Wolf Wedding by AggressiveWhenStartled, galwednesday, quietnight, silentwalrus, skellerbvvt
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
08 May 2021
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Summary
“MARRIED?”
“Basically married. Permanently engaged anyway. Weres have their own deal.” Natasha sounds much, much too gleeful about Steve’s rapidly expanding personal hell. “So you better wake your blushing bride and tell him the happy news: that it was an accident and you had no idea what you were doing.”
“I,” Steve says, strangled. “I can’t do that!”
“You can’t?”
“He thought I was proposing! And he accepted!”
“Wow, maybe he’s just as dumb as you are,” Natasha says thoughtfully.
“I can’t just promise him a ring, take him home, drink from him three times in a row and then wake him up the next morning to say oops, just kidding!” Steve casts around, looking at his wreck of an apartment. “I don’t even have any good champagne!”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,509
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 416
- Kudos:
- 5,253
- Bookmarks:
- 1,586
- Hits:
- 36,058
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
12 Aug 2024
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Sam accidentally gets cursed and mayhem ensues!
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
17 Jun 2024
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Summary
Even though he’s making fun of it, Stiles thinks the whole thing sounds awesome and, like most stuff these days, the experience is going to be totally wasted on Scott.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,657
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 226
- Kudos:
- 13,095
- Bookmarks:
- 2,446
- Hits:
- 149,438
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
08 Jun 2024
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Jensen has always pursued the “myths” of the world, UFOs, Big Foot, and now, the mysterious jungle man on a far off island. It seemed simple enough, spending a few weeks camping in the jungle just to do a little research. Nothing could ever prepare him for the man he meets there.
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
19 Apr 2024
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Summary
The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect
Series
- Part 1 of Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,326
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Collections:
- 76
- Comments:
- 8,123
- Kudos:
- 31,226
- Bookmarks:
- 9,811
- Hits:
- 859,056
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
20 Mar 2024
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The Legend Of Liob by Killbothtwins
Fandoms: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
28 Apr 2022
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Summary
The Republic sends a combat photographer to be attached to the 212th until further notice, citing the need for a morale boost. The clones make up a fake clone, citing the absolute fact that it is very funny.
Somehow, these two things save the galaxy.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,080
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 955
- Kudos:
- 14,974
- Bookmarks:
- 6,346
- Hits:
- 107,246
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
14 Dec 2023
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Summary
Sky wonders who cares enough to look for the lost.
Series
- Part 1 of Team Building
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
15 Sep 2023
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Summary
Sam Winchester's been in love with his big brother Dean for as long as he can remember, and he's never told anyone but Dr. Cas Novak. From their first session together, Cas finds himself fully entrenched in Sam's sad story with a fervor that's not entirely professional. Under his overly intimate and fairly unorthodox methods, even Dean notices the change in his usually gloomy brother and decides maybe therapy's not so bad.
Sam definitely shouldn't refer his brother to Cas. Cas definitely shouldn't take him on but his curiosity wins out, and he soon finds himself trying to wave the white flag in the middle of a very fucked up battleground.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,805
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 496
- Kudos:
- 1,493
- Bookmarks:
- 365
- Hits:
- 35,425
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
07 Feb 2023
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A Passion For Mushrooms by Chrononautical
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
21 Sep 2017
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Summary
There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.
Series
- Part 1 of The Mushroom Mine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,912
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 36
- Comments:
- 4,410
- Kudos:
- 13,218
- Bookmarks:
- 3,760
- Hits:
- 304,894
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
04 Feb 2023
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Summary
Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,738
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 1,681
- Kudos:
- 24,388
- Bookmarks:
- 9,896
- Hits:
- 541,320
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
28 Jan 2023
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Summary
Sam and Dean go to Hogwarts. (spoilers for All Hell Breaks Loose, Deathly Hallows)
Series
- Part 9 of Astolat Sampler
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,638
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 209
- Kudos:
- 3,847
- Bookmarks:
- 1,361
- Hits:
- 83,104
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
26 Jan 2023
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Summary
Arthur just needed to know that he could take a good dick pic. He wasn't going to do anything with it, obviously. It was just an experiment, just a test he had to prove to himself that he could pass.
Drunk Arthur had other ideas, though. Who knew there were people online willing to review other people's dick pics?
And frankly, Arthur was never going to settle for anything less than an A+.
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
04 Dec 2022
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The Only John Wayne Left in This Town by gyzym for angelgazing
Fandoms: The Avengers (2012)
18 Mar 2012
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Summary
Clint's got a secret love, and it's spelled b-a-n-j-o.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,156
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 293
- Kudos:
- 4,349
- Bookmarks:
- 1,546
- Hits:
- 67,143
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
11 Nov 2022
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Plot Twist by orphan_account
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
06 Jul 2016
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Summary
The supposed love triangle between Mr. Skywalker, Ms. Amidala, and Mr. Kenobi is all their students (and even their fellow teachers) can talk about. The only thing is, no one at Coruscant High School can figure out exactly which of them are together.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,100
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 328
- Kudos:
- 5,625
- Bookmarks:
- 1,268
- Hits:
- 44,955
Bookmarked by noxelementalist
09 Jul 2022