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always carry a switchblade and ibuprofen by sarosficial
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
07 Jan 2026
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“And get this.” Tighnari leans forward conspiratorially. “Durin apparently wanted Hat Guy to show him around the Akademiya. He initially said no, but then Durin pouted and he agreed.”
Kaveh’s jaw drops, gasping with all the dramatics that this situation requires. Alhaitham’s eyebrows even raise slightly, almost like he’s impressed. “What?” Kaveh whispers. “This is the same guy who once told a toddler sobbing in the street to get a hold of himself, yes?”
“Precisely.” Really, Tighnari doesn’t consider himself one prone to gossip. He’s more so… intrigued. Have they known each other for a long time? If so, why haven’t they ever heard of or seen him until now? And how would they know each other?
There's a new dragon in town, and he somehow has the ability to befriend Hat Guy of all people. Tighnari, Cyno, Alhaitham, and Kaveh (who have all known Hat Guy for much longer, thank you) are determined to solve the mystery.
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
10 Jan 2026
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He had considered travel in his retirement plans by NilokSilver
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
25 Jan 2026
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Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed one of his more volatile students quite so far while playing as Sukea. One moment, he was enjoying a final game of teasing his face before passing the Hokage hat to Naruto; the next, he was in the past, draped in oversized clothes that now felt more like a tent than an outfit.
It wasn’t ideal, but he’d survived worse. His plan was simple: step into his old life, lay low, and figure out a way back to his proper timeline, even if it was the long way. Except... it seemed he hadn’t displaced his younger self. Instead, there were two Kakashis now, and they had to adapt.
The younger Kakashi, sharp-eyed and prickly as ever, clearly wasn’t thrilled by the intrusion. But older Kakashi wasn’t too worried. After all, he’d survived his students—adorable little brats who’d outgrown their charm and turned into forces of nature. Compared to them, his younger self was manageable.
Prickly or not, this kid might even be fun to mess with while Kakashi figured out how to navigate this unexpected hiccup in his retirement plan.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 137,983
- Chapters:
- 33/?
- Comments:
- 1,265
- Kudos:
- 2,332
- Bookmarks:
- 623
- Hits:
- 58,533
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
10 Jan 2026
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the divine reflection by Sapphire363, via_the_cryptid
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
Cecil the Bard is not a god.
Series
- Part 9 of the wind sprite and his bard
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,786
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 32
- Kudos:
- 253
- Bookmarks:
- 70
- Hits:
- 1,685
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
07 Jan 2026
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The Mondstadtan Election Debacle by Sapphire363, via_the_cryptid
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
05 Jan 2026
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Summary
Every three years, Mondstadt holds an election to determine who will be the next representative of the people’s interests on the ruling council alongside the Knights and the Church. Unfortunately for him, this year’s winner is Venti.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,790
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
- Kudos:
- 557
- Bookmarks:
- 146
- Hits:
- 2,464
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
07 Jan 2026
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Caught On Cam by WriterPug
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends
09 Aug 2025
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Summary
The war ended and the cities healed.
And eventually a Jinx came home.
But not alone.
Reunited, everyone tries to break the cycle and find some happiness.
Of course....Jinx will be 'Jinx' about it.
Just another evening at the Pit-Fights.....
(Inspired by fanart)
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
04 Jan 2026
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The Wine-Cursing Incident by oh_fudgecakes for kawree
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
25 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Master Diluc, are you quite alright?” Venti asks.
Diluc turns back around. “You,” he begins, and then, “I—”
He stares at the sink again, then back at Venti, who just blinks, seeming quite bemused.
“How is wine-cursing a thing you can do now?!” Diluc demands.
“Hey,” Venti says, mock-crossly. “I cultivated the God of Wine title very diligently, I'll have you know that. Unfortunately, it never gave me any useful abilities— like the power to turn water to wine! Wouldn't that have been amazing? But no, that never manifested.”
Barbatos is the God of Wind and Freedom, but also of Wine and Song. He thus has a sliding scale of wine-curses from "I lay a plague upon your house" and "may all the wine you drink be ever-so-slightly over-oxidized." He absolutely uses his wine-cursing abilities on drunk assholes at the bar.
Series
- Part 8 of genshin fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,433
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 471
- Bookmarks:
- 95
- Hits:
- 1,736
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
25 Dec 2025
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I've seen him (and I need him to be mine) by valer13
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
24 Dec 2025
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Summary
'Zhongli had completely forgotten about these unsent letters, until Hu Tao comes up with her ridiculous plan. Now he has to cope with the reactions of everyone in Liyue Harbor and beyond, and not least of all, those of the intended recipient. What is Venti to him, in this new era?'
—What if instead of Venti coming to Liyue to confront Zhongli regarding the letters, it was Barbatos who was there for the annual (centennial) public archon meeting?
`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹
AU of the “memories are brittle at their best” by LibbyLune
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
14 Dec 2025
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When the Wind falters by GamblingGamesSeemToAlwaysGetMe
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
22 Jan 2026
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Summary
Venti, the Anemo Archon, Mondstadt's beloved Bard, a absolute menace when it comes to taking care of himself in medical ways!
Venti never gets completely burnt out like the other Archons had, he took breaks, defended Mondstadt when it was out of everyone's control, kept his workload to a minimum. Sure, you could call him lazy, a drunkard, etc. Maybe some of it could be true at times! But Venti still helped around a lot!
So when Mondstadt's beloved Bard and secret Archon had his Gnosis (Presumably) stolen and got sick a couple weeks after... What does he do? He throws an Archon reunion, of course!
Aka
Venti gets some kind of Fatui virus stuck where La Signora stole (or tried to steal) his Gnosis... Making Venti get Ill... But instead of doing something about it, our lovely procrastinating Bard decides to throw a party instead!!
Plus, did I mention the Fatui are everywhere? No? Well now they are.
Series
- Part 1 of Mondstadt's beloved Bard
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,859
- Chapters:
- 5/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 166
- Kudos:
- 267
- Bookmarks:
- 56
- Hits:
- 4,985
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
29 Oct 2025
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fight a god and take his wine by littlescholastic for asphodelon
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
16 Jul 2023
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Summary
Jean looked at her glass a little longer, “Do you think you could take him in a fight?”
“That’s just blasphemy at this point, and this is coming from me.”
Series
- Part 1 of Children of The Moon City
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
29 Oct 2025
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[SEEKING ADVICE:] Boy We Met At Pub Lives In Abandoned Castle, What Should We Do? by Jazz_intown, oh_fudgecakes
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
If Jean and Diluc had been told that they'd be spending the summer unravelling a secret deep within their small university town, they would have shaken their heads crisply and said no, thank you. Unfortunately, a chance encounter at the pub with a boy who lives in an abandoned castle soon leads them on a wild adventure to uncover the secrets behind the castle and the possible cryptid named Venti.
Or: A castle, a conundrum, and a crew of undergraduates trying to figure out the walking mystery that is their newest drinking buddy.
Series
- Part 6 of genshin fics
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
20 Oct 2025
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Summary
Her cheeks warm in embarassment; though she guesses he's way more embarassed than she is.
She finds almost a sick kind of pleasure at seeing him squirm, at seeing him so helpless, so desperate—
Archons, what is she thinking?
But more importantly, how are they going to fix this? They need to do something.
Lumine forces herself to grind the words out. “I— do you… uh, do you think… relieving the ache will help?”
Oh, Archons.
— Or, Scaramouche steps on a mushroom that releases aphrodisiac spores, and Lumine has way too much fun.
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
06 Oct 2025
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Our Love has Teeth by Kairi_of_Knives for 2isted_chocol8
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
16 Mar 2021
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Summary
Lumine had known from the start that this was not some sort of twisted sex pollen. Venti's pheromones did not invoke arousal specifically, but rather a lack of inhibition. It was like a drug that made people free. Whatever wacky hijinks the people of Mondstadt were up to, they originated from some internal desire. Perhaps warped beyond their natural limits by a lack of restraint, but still...no one was doing anything they did not want to, deep down.
So if Lumine slept with Venti today, that would mean that she...
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
06 Oct 2025
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Summary
Cloud had gone from a SOLDIER wash-out to mako-fied in the half-second it took for him to blink. Everything began to spiral from there.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,673
- Chapters:
- 17/26
- Comments:
- 372
- Kudos:
- 1,725
- Bookmarks:
- 554
- Hits:
- 42,548
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
30 Sep 2025
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“Now that I have fully taken over the role of a ruling Archon, I would like to build rapport with my fellow colleagues, so to speak, and extend an offer of friendship.”
His face wrinkles in distaste. “You want to be acquainted with the rest of the Archons.”
...“Well?” The Wanderer glances down at her, a note of impatience creeping into his voice. “Where do I come into all this?”
She turns to him with a hesitant smile. “Well, I was hoping you could deliver the message and my intent on my behalf.”
---
The Wanderer is tasked by Nahida to deliver a message to each of the current Archons. Or, the Wanderer goes on a road trip.
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
16 Sep 2025
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Summary
Two years later, Cheryl, twenty, and Miles, twenty-two, have settled into their new home and new routine pretty well. That is, at least, until something happens to disrupt it, and their old world confronts their new one.
Series
- Part 2 of Stardust Days, Neon Nights
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
11 Sep 2025
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Summary
魔神 | In an instant, the winds of Mondstadt died, some people of Liyue vanished, the lightning of Inazuma froze in place. From Fontaine’s stages to Sumeru’s libraries, from Natlan’s wildlands to Snezhnaya’s thronerooms... many souls fell into velvet darkness. And when they opened their eyes, they were seated in a place that should not exist.
A vast, sealed theater—grand enough to hold all of Teyvat—where even the Archons could no longer sense the fake sky. At its heart: a single mixtape. "Archronicles."
BASICALLY: Watching Genshin Impact Reacts: Character Teasers & Trailers, Archon & Event Quests!
LATEST CHAPTER: INAZUMA 01 | Autumn Winds, Scarlet LeavesSeries
- Part 1 of Hoyologs Re:Act
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 149,715
- Chapters:
- 29/160
- Comments:
- 3,004
- Kudos:
- 3,292
- Bookmarks:
- 787
- Hits:
- 186,747
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
19 Aug 2025
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The Goddess of Time (and Freedom) by snowytuesdays
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
Istaroth is one of the Shades, a shadow of the Heavenly Principles, shackled between the dawn and end of time to do as her masters wish.
(At the same time, she is also Venti, the God of Freedom, and he is her secret that she can never tell.)
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
01 Aug 2025
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(If You Want Me) Come and Get Me by jardinsdeminuit for Memeh
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
18 May 2025
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Summary
When the Great Astrologist Scaramouche is kidnapped by the Harbinger Mona Megistus, he realises that he is in for far more than he expected—both figuratively and physically. Especially physically.
Or, a roleswap AU where Mona uses Scaramouche to satisfy her size kink curiosity.
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
10 Jul 2025
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Omnia vincit Amor; et nos cedamus Amori by CarinaCanopus for SkyWarriorKirby
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
10 Apr 2023
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Summary
Love conquers all; let us, too, yield to love.
or
In which the wind yields to love and the abyss yields to the wind.
Series
- Part 2 of requests
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
09 Jul 2025
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Summary
SCP-████ appears to be in a state of deep sleep and has shown no signs of consciousness since initial containment. However, the entity demonstrates several passive anomalous properties.
Or: Barbatos falls under SCP containment.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,255
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 341
- Bookmarks:
- 80
- Hits:
- 1,733
Bookmarked by probablyshouldnot
09 Jul 2025