roachpatrol
Fandoms
- Homestuck (51)
- Doctor Who & Related Fandoms (26)
- Doctor Who (2005) (20)
- Motorcity (Cartoon) (14)
- Doctor Who (1963) (10)
Recent works
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Summary
What if there was another Dochas Sidhe around who could break October out of the koi pond much, much earlier? In this timeline, Toby found herself freed from the pond in a year and a day by a strange, secretive young man with an unmistakable family resemblance.
Everything unfolded from there.
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Summary
Dutch opens Mike’s comm line on the way back, says, “Look, no one thinks you’re useless, okay? I don’t know where you got that from, but it’s totally not true. I mean, we’re all worried about you right now, but we just— we want you to get better— look, nobody would be in top form having nightmares all the time, okay? That’s nothin’ about you.” God, why can’t he find the right words? He means everything he’s saying, but even to him it doesn’t sound persuasive.
“Sure,” Mike says, low and defeated. “Nothing about me that I can’t keep it together for the simplest things anymore,” and he closes the line.
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“Hey, dude, language,” Mike says.
“Fuck you!” Chuck snaps. “Alex, you wanna go catch the next showing of this thing I was gonna take my asshole best friend to because for some crazy reason I used to like hanging out with him?”
“Yes,” Alex says.
“Oh,” Chuck says. “Okay, cool. The next performance is in two hours, though.”
“I’ll take you to dinner?” Alex says. “My night’s free.”
Mike is making a really weird face right now: not the usual defensive annoyance with Chuck trying to take him away from work, but a startled, unsettled look, like he just missed something important and can’t figure out how. -
Contents Under Pressure by LaughingStones, roachpatrol
Fandoms: Motorcity (Cartoon), After the Storm - Hannah Birchwood & Key Dyson & Raymond Roach
29 Feb 2020
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Summary
Rich has been living in this body for three months now, and he hates it. The people around him like it plenty, which isn't so great when they're gross old men. When Julie Kane and her two newest directors show up, though, Rich encounters allies in unexpected quarters and the possibility of escape from the nightmare he's been living. Of course, that’s before the aphrodisiac spell backfires...
Series
- Part 6 of Rich Merrill, Deluxe edition
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Summary
“Oh my god,” Julie says again, and paces in a little circle. Then she paces in a bigger circle, trips over a wrench, falls over, and lies on the floor in total defeat. It’s been an hour since she and Chuck got their brains or minds or souls or whatever put in each other’s bodies by a crazy old machine in some buried ruins and things haven’t improved from the initial, disastrous explosion.
“Maybe we should have lunch,” Mike suggests. “And like, think about this.”
“I am really tired of thinking about this already,” Chuck says grimly.
Recent series
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Summary
Let's admit Alternia gets the celebrities we deserve.
—Troll Nicole Blackman- Words:
- 61,080
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 151
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Love, love, love (is all you need) by roachpatrol
Fandom Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
01 Sep 2010
- Words:
- 7,056
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
Alternia: where warm blood defines a troll's nobility, cold blood their commonalty, and Her Imperial Luminescence Aradia Megido struggles to keep her people together. Whether or not she can do it before Ascension Day is another thing entirely.
- Words:
- 128,677
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 665
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˃Connect by biichama (biichan), biichan, inverts, renachan, roachpatrol
Fandom Homestuck
13 Apr 2016
Summary
Twelve kids. Four trolls. Twelve guardians, four ancestors, one doloros, four lusii, seventeen lands, one megaplanet, one session,
onetwothreeone teams.One more chance to win.
- Words:
- 86,192
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 220
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Summary
Motorcity SciFi AU based on Birchbow's Raza AU (though obviously some time after those events). Thanks to Birch for letting us play with her AU! Her fic is so real in the dark.
- Words:
- 27,723
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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The Degree to Which You're Fucked by turingtestflunker
Fandoms: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek
04 Jan 2019
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Summary
So you remember that episode where the Enterprise-D picks up some humans from the 1980's and it serves as a contrast between the 20th century and the 24th? Because I do, and I have THOUGHTS. I think that the premise of cryonics was fundamentally counterproductive to the episode's purpose because cryonics inherently biases the pool towards relatively wealthy people who have their lives together. So I wrote a story about the crew dealing with an untrusting, uncooperative, mentally ill, belligerent trans autistic person. Because I found it amusing. Data heavy and tagged self-indulgent for a reason. Enjoy.
Series
- Part 1 of The Past is Another Planet
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,142
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 134
- Kudos:
- 370
- Bookmarks:
- 73
- Hits:
- 4,419
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
15 May 2026
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Summary
The citizens of a research-focused planetoid have no conventional means of defending themselves from attacks due to their strictly nonviolent culture, but when a team of bio-engineers are tasked with finding some way to handle the threat, their solution is a nonlethal bioweapon more powerful than any of them realize.
Series
- Part 1 of The Bioweapon from KV-6
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
08 May 2026
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Putting Theory Into Practice by HK_Pelinal
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
19 Jul 2023
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Summary
A poor adventurer finds himself trapped in an Illithid lair. Normally this is a death sentence, but this specific Mind Flayer has discovered after a long and arduous series of testing that maybe ceremorphosis isn't the only way to create more of their kind. They just need a "willing" test subject.
And besides, humanoids like this "sex" stuff, right?
Series
- Part 1 of A Mind, Filled
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
08 May 2026
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phenomenal nominal nothing by grimark
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
“Proof of concept,” ♫♬♯♩♩♫ says. “We’ve tested it thoroughly to ensure it fits the specified nutritional profile, and several members of our team have ingested small amounts of it to ensure there were no adverse effects.”
“You ate some of it?” I ask, rudely. I’m too irate to mind my language. Who do they think they are? That meat is for Grace. In a way, that meat is Grace.
“Yes,” ♫♬♯♩♩♫ says. They and the rest of the human life support thrum know better than to be offended by my occasionally strange behaviour. “Obviously we weren’t going to risk the life of Honoured Grace on a completely untested technology.”
That doesn’t mean much. There’s a lot of things that are safe for ingestion by Eridians that would outright kill a human.
Trust Grace, I remind myself. He’ll have thought of all this.
(OR: Grace's meburgers from the book epilogue. Let's talk about those!)
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
27 Apr 2026
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Cunk on Erid by Macremae
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026), Cunk on Earth (TV), Cunk on Britain (TV)
22 Apr 2026
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Summary
In this BBC documentary special, Philomena Cunk travels to the planet Erid to pose the questions no one else would even think to ask.
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
23 Apr 2026