roachpatrol
Fandoms
- Homestuck (51)
- Doctor Who & Related Fandoms (26)
- Doctor Who (2005) (20)
- Motorcity (Cartoon) (14)
- Doctor Who (1963) (10)
Recent works
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Summary
What if there was another Dochas Sidhe around who could break October out of the koi pond much, much earlier? In this timeline, Toby found herself freed from the pond in a year and a day by a strange, secretive young man with an unmistakable family resemblance.
Everything unfolded from there.
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Summary
Dutch opens Mike’s comm line on the way back, says, “Look, no one thinks you’re useless, okay? I don’t know where you got that from, but it’s totally not true. I mean, we’re all worried about you right now, but we just— we want you to get better— look, nobody would be in top form having nightmares all the time, okay? That’s nothin’ about you.” God, why can’t he find the right words? He means everything he’s saying, but even to him it doesn’t sound persuasive.
“Sure,” Mike says, low and defeated. “Nothing about me that I can’t keep it together for the simplest things anymore,” and he closes the line.
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Summary
“Hey, dude, language,” Mike says.
“Fuck you!” Chuck snaps. “Alex, you wanna go catch the next showing of this thing I was gonna take my asshole best friend to because for some crazy reason I used to like hanging out with him?”
“Yes,” Alex says.
“Oh,” Chuck says. “Okay, cool. The next performance is in two hours, though.”
“I’ll take you to dinner?” Alex says. “My night’s free.”
Mike is making a really weird face right now: not the usual defensive annoyance with Chuck trying to take him away from work, but a startled, unsettled look, like he just missed something important and can’t figure out how. -
Contents Under Pressure by LaughingStones, roachpatrol
Fandoms: Motorcity (Cartoon), After the Storm - Hannah Birchwood & Key Dyson & Raymond Roach
29 Feb 2020
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Summary
Rich has been living in this body for three months now, and he hates it. The people around him like it plenty, which isn't so great when they're gross old men. When Julie Kane and her two newest directors show up, though, Rich encounters allies in unexpected quarters and the possibility of escape from the nightmare he's been living. Of course, that’s before the aphrodisiac spell backfires...
Series
- Part 6 of Rich Merrill, Deluxe edition
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Summary
“Oh my god,” Julie says again, and paces in a little circle. Then she paces in a bigger circle, trips over a wrench, falls over, and lies on the floor in total defeat. It’s been an hour since she and Chuck got their brains or minds or souls or whatever put in each other’s bodies by a crazy old machine in some buried ruins and things haven’t improved from the initial, disastrous explosion.
“Maybe we should have lunch,” Mike suggests. “And like, think about this.”
“I am really tired of thinking about this already,” Chuck says grimly.
Recent series
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Summary
Let's admit Alternia gets the celebrities we deserve.
—Troll Nicole Blackman- Words:
- 61,080
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 151
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Love, love, love (is all you need) by roachpatrol
Fandom Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
01 Sep 2010
- Words:
- 7,056
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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Summary
Alternia: where warm blood defines a troll's nobility, cold blood their commonalty, and Her Imperial Luminescence Aradia Megido struggles to keep her people together. Whether or not she can do it before Ascension Day is another thing entirely.
- Words:
- 128,677
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 662
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˃Connect by biichama (biichan), biichan, inverts, renachan, roachpatrol
Fandom Homestuck
13 Apr 2016
Summary
Twelve kids. Four trolls. Twelve guardians, four ancestors, one doloros, four lusii, seventeen lands, one megaplanet, one session,
onetwothreeone teams.One more chance to win.
- Words:
- 86,192
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 219
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Summary
Motorcity SciFi AU based on Birchbow's Raza AU (though obviously some time after those events). Thanks to Birch for letting us play with her AU! Her fic is so real in the dark.
- Words:
- 27,723
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“What are you talking about?” Grace's fingers played quick chords as he spoke. He didn’t even look as he did it, but it did not make them any less purposeful.
“Discussing possible reasons why Tau Ceti is not infected while other stars are,” Eva replied deftly. “I would invite you to join, but we were just finishing—”
“Oh, that’s easy.” His hand twisted a knob, and the notes came out sharper. “It is infected—Petrova Line and everything.”
In Grace's opinion, dreaming about time traveling is no excuse for getting out of practice with his Eridian. To the rest of the Petrova Taskforce, it seems a bit odd that their resident Astrophage expert has suddenly taken to carrying a keyboard around and playing it whenever he speaks. Eva Stratt resolves to figure out what is going on.
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
22 Mar 2026
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Bone White and Brittle by pibroch (littleblackdog)
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
09 Mar 2013
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Summary
“Bolg is my son.” He prodded again, even though the scales of dwarven armour were rather unforgiving against bare hobbit fingers. “He has been my son nearly all his life, as good as born to me. You dwarves respect adoptions as good as blood kin, and you will respect my family in my home, just the same. Or you'll leave, now, through the door you came in.”
On one fated night, Bilbo Baggins finds a pitiful little creature huddled in his garden, bleeding and broken. Adopted!Bolg AU, written for a kink meme prompt.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,261
- Chapters:
- 5/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 385
- Kudos:
- 3,775
- Bookmarks:
- 1,125
- Hits:
- 51,086
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
17 Mar 2026
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King, Come At Red Morning by Tawabids
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
25 Sep 2014
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Summary
Bilbo has heard fairytales of the lost prince of the dwarves, Thorin son of Thrain, who disappeared the day Smaug attacked the Lonely Mountain. But he does not believe in fairytales until he comes across the dwarf sleeping in the depths of Erebor, and kisses him back to life.
Now Thorin - a hundred and fifty years out of his time - has to confront a world in which his city is empty, his people scattered, his baby brother Frerin is king, two nephews he's never met are missing in action, and a war is brewing right on his doorstep.
And as if that wasn't complicated enough he's trapped in the body of an old man and falling stupidly in love with a gossipy, grudging little hobbit.
Series
- Part 1 of The Abiding King
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 128,716
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 600
- Kudos:
- 2,719
- Bookmarks:
- 796
- Hits:
- 75,331
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
10 Mar 2026
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Summary
It didn't take long for it to become clear that no one had actually put any thought into how to rebuild a kingdom. The fact that it was haunted wasn't making things any easier.
In which Bilbo is going to fix things, come hell or high water.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,618
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 2,090
- Bookmarks:
- 617
- Hits:
- 17,921
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
It is the turning point in the year, Erebor is trapped by an unrelenting snow and within the mountain, the dwarves have to survive the bitter season any way they can. Bilbo is determined to help them, and not just because it is a good distraction from his own thoughts.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,100
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 54
- Kudos:
- 246
- Bookmarks:
- 71
- Hits:
- 1,885
Bookmarked by roachpatrol
08 Mar 2026