roachpatrol



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    Let's admit Alternia gets the celebrities we deserve.
    —Troll Nicole Blackman

    Words:
    61,080
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    151
  2. Words:
    7,056
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
  3. Summary

    Alternia: where warm blood defines a troll's nobility, cold blood their commonalty, and Her Imperial Luminescence Aradia Megido struggles to keep her people together. Whether or not she can do it before Ascension Day is another thing entirely.

    Words:
    128,677
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    664
  4. Summary

    Twelve kids. Four trolls. Twelve guardians, four ancestors, one doloros, four lusii, seventeen lands, one megaplanet, one session, one two three one teams.

    One more chance to win.

    Words:
    86,192
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    220
  5. Summary

    Motorcity SciFi AU based on Birchbow's Raza AU (though obviously some time after those events). Thanks to Birch for letting us play with her AU! Her fic is so real in the dark.

    Words:
    27,723
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    5

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 3

    Tags
    Summary

    The citizens of a research-focused planetoid have no conventional means of defending themselves from attacks due to their strictly nonviolent culture, but when a team of bio-engineers are tasked with finding some way to handle the threat, their solution is a nonlethal bioweapon more powerful than any of them realize.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,091

    08 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 87

    Tags
    Summary

    A poor adventurer finds himself trapped in an Illithid lair. Normally this is a death sentence, but this specific Mind Flayer has discovered after a long and arduous series of testing that maybe ceremorphosis isn't the only way to create more of their kind. They just need a "willing" test subject.

    And besides, humanoids like this "sex" stuff, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,857
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    606
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    27,380

    08 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Proof of concept,” ♫♬♯♩♩♫ says. “We’ve tested it thoroughly to ensure it fits the specified nutritional profile, and several members of our team have ingested small amounts of it to ensure there were no adverse effects.”

    “You ate some of it?” I ask, rudely. I’m too irate to mind my language. Who do they think they are? That meat is for Grace. In a way, that meat is Grace.

    “Yes,” ♫♬♯♩♩♫ says. They and the rest of the human life support thrum know better than to be offended by my occasionally strange behaviour. “Obviously we weren’t going to risk the life of Honoured Grace on a completely untested technology.”

    That doesn’t mean much. There’s a lot of things that are safe for ingestion by Eridians that would outright kill a human.

    Trust Grace, I remind myself. He’ll have thought of all this.

    (OR: Grace's meburgers from the book epilogue. Let's talk about those!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,877
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    1,011
    Bookmarks:
    230
    Hits:
    5,509

    27 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In this BBC documentary special, Philomena Cunk travels to the planet Erid to pose the questions no one else would even think to ask.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,631
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    638
    Bookmarks:
    165
    Hits:
    2,179

    23 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shen Qingqiu develops a mysterious case of amnesia, and it is causing him to treat Yue Qingyuan very strangely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,049
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    165
    Kudos:
    804
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    5,418

    19 Apr 2026

Navigation