verdancing
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“If you could cease your incessant squirming—” Minimus starts, grabbing Rodimus by the hips in an attempt to keep him still.
Not that it does anything, obviously. Rodimus keeps grinding down and grinning up at Minimus, taunts spilling past his derma. “Aw, c’mon, I’m not allowed to tease back after all you—”
Abruptly, Rodimus goes very silent and still as something… catches. Minimus’s spike finds purchase and he finally pushes forward.
Not into Rodimus’s valve, but into the tiny waste port set just above it.
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OR: Minimus fucks Rodimus in the wrong hole.
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When the mech crawls closer, everything snaps into place. A long curving spine that doesn’t end in legs, but one long, slithering tail, tall metal fins that flatten back against a smooth frame that wasn’t made for driving or flying, but for swimming. Derma pull back into something that could be a smile or a snarl, and underneath are rows of pointed dentae. Not just the sharp fangs that Deadlock sports, but teeth like sawblades.
“What the frag,” Deadlock breathes out. He sounds rough even to his own audials, and thinks about the effects prolonged water exposure might have on a bot’s vocalizer. Then he thinks about why he’d even ponder such a thing and gets a little sad before shoving the thought aside entirely.
The creature—the mermech—makes a low sonorous noise, dragging itself a little ways closer, optics peering up at Deadlock with unabashed curiosity.
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OR: Deadlock gets thrown overboard, is saved by a mermech, has some truly remarkable sex, and finds love in the big blue. Broadly speaking, anyways.
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“I want you to fuck Drift for me.”
If Rodimus had, say, been sitting up by the bar at Swerve’s, having a nice sip of engex while hearing that sentence, he absolutely would have spat everywhere upon its completion. Maybe fallen off his chair, too.
As it is, despite having no drink to spit nor chair to disembark, he still chokes on nothing, sputtering helplessly at Ratchet’s stone cold serious face.
“I—you—I’m sorry, did—I—” Rodimus finally gives up and simply asks, “What?”
“I want you to fuck Drift for me,” Ratchet repeats, like it’s any more comprehensible a second time around.
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OR: In which Rodimus fucks a married mech that he definitely doesn’t have any romantic feelings for, no siree.
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Hot Rod wonders if he's cursed by something he did in a previous life. Normal mechs don’t have to deal with the slag he gets put through—namely getting stranded on a Quintesson-occupied planet with no means of contacting home, encountering strange, mutilated Cybertronians seemingly built just to kill Quints, and being ordered to babysit said strange, mutilated Cybertronians.
All of this is to say that everything currently wrong with Hot Rod’s life can be attributed to the stray that followed him home: one maybe-empurata victim calling himself “Thunderclash”.
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Before the Kaiju came to Earth, Thunderclash used to dream of being an astronaut, and after the longest two decades of his life, his boyhood dream has somehow come to fruition.
Sure, it’s been a bit more fraught than he’d imagined as a kid—what with him piloting a mecha instead of a rocket, helping giant robotic aliens fight off Kaiju, and dealing with a language barrier that has resulted in said aliens mistaking him for being one of them—but Thunderclash wouldn't give it up for the world.
Besides, with Hot Rod guiding him through these unfamiliar stars, Thunderclash thinks that everything'll turn out fine.
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Let’s Put on a Show for the Folks at Home by verdancing
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types
14 Feb 2026
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When Arcee, Hot Rod, and Springer wind up in a Decepticon prison block following a mission gone awry, Deadlock is one of the very last mechs they expect to come calling. Well. He's one of the last mechs Arcee and Springer expected to come calling. Hot Rod was all too excited about the possibility that Deadlock might come find him again, even if they've never done this with an audience before. Hopefully, they'd put on a good enough show for the two Autobots.
OR: Deadlock pretends to rape Hot Rod in a prison cell while Arcee and Springer look on in horror.
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“Stop. Stop it,” Arcee hissed, pressed up against the bars separating her from Hot Rod, her half-horrified pleading underscored by the angry growl of Springer’s engine. “Don’t you dare fragging touch him—”
But it wasn’t as if she could do anything to stop him as Deadlock lifted Hot Rod’s head and stuck a thumb into his lax mouth.
“Look at you, pretty thing,” Deadlock murmured, ignoring Arcee entirely. He pulled his digit free a moment later as his panel retracted and his spike pressurized right over Hot Rod’s head. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with you.”
Frag, but Hot Rod hoped he was lying when he said that.
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Q. A. B. (cont.) by jihnari
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
19 Jul 2024
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Summary
Things Izuku's cult does while he still thinks it's just a joke:
• starts an internet war
• coordinates an IRL convention
• gets a teenager arrested
• royally pisses off a major hero agency
• helps start a Twitter account for the League of VillainsAnd then there's the murder.
Series
- Part 2 of how to (accidentally) start a cult
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Summary
One month after @hawks_unofficial's initial viral post, the blog titled "Quirk Analysis Blog for the Future", otherwise known as "Q. A. B.", has gone from an average of 10 views per post to an average of 20,000 views per post.
Midoriya Izuku does not know how to view the impressions analysis for his suddenly popular blog, and only notices that sometimes, people actually comment on his posts now. He does not google himself or his moniker and thus does not see the rise in online articles and speculation.
He is unaware that the "kyuu-ei-bee" he begins to hear about in passing refers to his own blog. He does not have a Twitter account.
At the time, Midoriya Izuku is 15 years old.
Izuku (accidentally) starts a cult.
Series
- Part 1 of how to (accidentally) start a cult
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Quantum Starwalker by faeriecore for FallingAstronauts, lamehq
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026), The Fall Guy (2024), The Gray Man (2022)
24 May 2026
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The Hail Mary has been shot out into the depths of the infinite void of space to search for an answer that may not even be there. Aboard, the three crew members lay in stasis as the ship hurtles like an arrow towards a distant star, with no hope of return, but a desperate hope to make things right.
At home, two brothers are left in sudden and violent grief. A woman grapples with whether or not she made the right decision. The world strains and suffers under the weight of the coming Fimbulwinter.
And then one of the beetles returns.
Thirteen years early.
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Project Ship by RegTheRag
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
25 May 2026
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Summary
A Rocky POV of Project Hail Mary, but add in a sprinkle of originally named astrophages, petrova lines, language barriers, trauma recovery, and extra, extra worldbuilding. Includes pre- and post-canon!
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One day, his strumming was not answered.
The silence that answered his one verse of song was horrible and grating. Incomplete. Empty. A sick, horrible fear built up inside him.
(He was going to die out here. Alone.)
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"Iz huhg," Grace sniffled out, sucking back in moisture from his noze, too. There was moisture and water and everything all over the place. "Huhg meens grayt, grayt, grayt affekshun."
"Oh," he said tentatively. Another hewmin thing! He shuffled closest to the wall Grace was huhging and leaned in. "Oh. Am I doing correctly, hmm?"
"Yis," Grace sighed out, calming down. He still leaked, though.
Oh, well. Leaky hewmins were his favorite, after all.
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Counting Down the Days (In Human Years) by Anonymous
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types
23 May 2026
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Summary
"It is one matter for you to battle the Quintessons, who threaten your homeworld, their technorganic forces whom your mech was built to fight. For you to battle Decepticons…" Prowl trailed off. "This is not your war. Would you really sacrifice your life for the members of a species you don't even belong to?"
Jazz distantly hoped that even though Prowl couldn't see his face, he could hear his smile in his voice.
"Yeah," he asserted. "Cause you one of 'em."