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She didn't want to be here. Not that the idea was a particularly bad one. On the contrary, Bloomington needed highlights to draw attention to their charity fair, but… her being here, doing this didn't seem right.
Kathryn took a deep breath, telling herself repeatedly in her mind that she could do this. She'd promised her mother, who was very enthusiastic about preserving local history, that she'd help in any way she could. Since childhood, she had taken pride in helping at the annual town fair. For over half a decade, she had yearned for the smell of popcorn and cotton candy filling the air as the music from the carousel made her heart dance. However, this year felt different, hollow.
Sure, Starfleet's golden girl and a local hero greatly attracted Earth's residents. However, to auction her off like this was an… eccentric way to gather funds for building upkeep, to put it mildly. While she had expected some media stunts in the town's favor, she hadn't anticipated something quite as ridiculous as her having to run the kissing booth.
Nervously she licked her lips. For seven years, she went without hardly any physical contact, and now she was supposed to kiss 370 strangers. Not just any random strangers, strangers who had paid to kiss her. Not exactly something she'd ever expected anyone to do regarding herself, but apparently, Earth was full of people willing to spend money on odd things.
This wasn't how Kathryn had pictured her homecoming to be – piled high with media appointments right after the debriefings had ended, one more ridiculous than the next. Besides that, she attended promotion and redeployment meetings for more than half of her crew, including herself. She had expected to take a lengthy shore leave; to be snuggled up in a warm blanket in a cabin by a lake with a certain first officer by her s-
Kathryn shook her head. Better not think about him. He had chosen Seven, and Kathryn had been left alone when she had needed him the most. He had tried to make amends, apologize for withholding their liaison from her, and distancing himself. Still, Kathryn had point blank refused to see him. Several times.
It wasn't fair to blame him entirely; after all, she had given him no indication of her intentions to uphold their unspoken promises. In fact, she had probably given him the idea that their relationship could never blossom into what they both had hoped for in the first place.
Their last year in the Delta Quadrant had been a straining one, and their friendship had fallen apart more than she had liked, but watching him with Seven… It was a blow to the stomach. The air had left her lungs, and she wasn't sure when or if she would ever recover. His choice showed that he no longer held any regard for her feelings. Those unspoken promises, stories of angry warriors, and longing looks of endless love, they were apparently long gone. It almost felt as if they'd never even happened.
Seven years of suppressing Kathryn to make room for the Captain had taken its toll, not just on herself but on her relationships. It had started even before she had taken command of Voyager, with her engagement to Mark. Now, it had ended her relationship with Chakotay before it had even begun.
Releasing this part of herself, unleashing emotions she had deemed too dangerous or insurmountable to face while in the Delta Quadrant, was freeing but also terrifying and painful. Her struggle of being 'only Kathryn', and her difficulty in coping with her long-suppressed feelings, were only amplified by Chakotay's recent actions. She'd finally realized, no - accepted , that he was the love of her life when he had found happiness elsewhere.
She had always held out hope that once they reached home, she and Chakotay would be able to re-evaluate their relationship parameters; to turn the spark that had always been there into a blazing flame. Still, all she got, in the end, was disappointment and pain.
So, she would keep her distance, remain cordial and force a smile if she had to see him and guard her freshly broken heart until it healed with time.
An announcement over the speakers echoed through the fairground, calling all ticket holders to make their way over to the kissing booth to claim their purchased kiss. One last time she brushed a hand over her forehead, reminding herself that her mother's charity organization needed the money. The kisses were merely pecks on the lips or cheeks, nothing too unorthodox, so why was she worried? She was a grown-up, single woman who could kiss whomever she liked. Well, maybe not 'whomever she liked' in this instance, but she'd get over that one occasion.
Her face almost fell as she stepped out from behind the curtain onto the platform, expecting a large queue and an excessive gathering of spectators, cheers, and cameras. To her surprise, there were only two handfuls of people, and the space in front of the small stage was nearly empty. She could attribute it to the somewhat hidden location of the booth at the fair, but still… this couldn't be right. She was sure her mother, who'd set her up for this without any shame, had said all 370 tickets had sold.
She wasn't a vain woman, but even Kathryn had to admit that somehow she expected more… buzz around her celebrated persona dishing out kisses to the public. She was, after all, ruling the media stream every time she stepped out of the house. Pushing her slight disappointment aside, she plastered a friendly smile onto her lips as the first kissee, a nerdy-looking young man, stepped closer to her. He fidgeted with his shirt before nervously pushing his thick glasses further up his nose.
Since she lacked kissing booth experience and was uncertain where he'd like to be kissed, she asked him. The cheek was enough, so Kathryn pressed a kiss onto his face, posing for his parents in the small crowd below to take a holo-image of their son and the heroic Captain. On his way off the stage, she gave the lad's family a friendly nod in acknowledgment when her eye suddenly caught a familiar figure hovering in the background.
Kathryn swallowed the rapidly forming knot in her throat. As the next recipient, an elderly gentleman with a cane, approached her, she quickly fought the adrenalin rush Chakotay's sight had bestowed, telling herself to focus on the task at hand. She'd know him anywhere, no matter how far away he stood to observe her.
She dared one last glance, hastily scanning the area to see if Seven was with him. With no sign of Seven in sight, her mind began to race with thoughts of why the hell he was there in the first place. Bloomington wasn't exactly a place he had any connections with. He hadn't purchased a ticket, had he? She was sure the air around her was becoming stuffy for a split second, but then she remembered that he had no reason to buy one.
He couldn't have known this event had been planned, nor that she'd been voluntold by her mother to help at the kissing booth. Even if he had known, she was sure he was only there to watch his former Captain embarrass herself. Perhaps he was here to support her as a friend, though she wasn't sure if she was prepared to have him as a friend again.
Before she had time to store away the shattering disappointment she felt at that thought, the older gentleman drew away her attention by complimenting her on her astounding achievement. He was an enthusiastic talker, and by the time she had a nanosecond to look back over, Chakotay had disappeared. She faintly smiled as she gave the old man one last pat on the shoulder, thanking him for purchasing a ticket only to tell her about his own exciting adventures in space.
Assuming she hadn't imagined her former XO standing next to the children's carousel, Kathryn was confident that it had been pure coincidence that he'd passed and watched only for a moment. She was unnervingly torn between wishing him back and hoping he'd stay away for good. She missed her best friend badly but didn't want to expose herself to the pain that came with seeing him. She was torn once again, just like so many times before when she had briefly glimpsed him on the Academy grounds… and every time, it ended with her hiding to avoid confrontation. Whether that fear stemmed from confronting him or simply herself, she wasn't so sure. However, she knew he would have been on an intercept course the moment he would have seen her – only to question why she was avoiding him; why she wasn't responding to his messages and comm calls.
As the odd one or two people joined her kissing queue, Kathryn was hopeful that the rest of the ticket holders would show up before too long. Still, before she knew what was happening, Kathryn stood alone on the podium. She needed distraction from her own mind and her feelings.
She could feel a headache coming, so she began to massage her temple, spinning in a circle while letting her view drift over the small stalls nearby. This surely couldn't be right. Where was everyone? What was she missing?
It caught her totally off guard when Chakotay suddenly stood at the bottom of the small steps, looking at her like a forlorn puppy. Shoulders slumped, and hands buried deep into his pocket. He'd seemingly reappeared out of nowhere, and before her brain could remember that they weren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment, a "What are you doing here?" had slipped off her lips.
Nervously he tugged his ear before he painstakingly slowly pulled a yellow slip of paper out of his trouser pocket.
Kathryn's eyes went wide. Oh no, he hadn't.
As if walking on eggshells, he carefully crept up the stairs, moving closer and closer. Kathryn felt like the world was spinning out of control, her mind unable to decipher why this was happening. How did he even know about this? And why had her mother sold him a ticket when she had told her she wasn't even speaking to him? Hadn't she recognized him?
"I thought… I thought since you refuse to see me… I'd come at a time when you couldn't run away, or….hide behind a tree," he explained, the yellow paper still in-between his fingers and on eye level. Hastily she averted her eyes, assessing her options. She didn’t want to have this tête-à-tête. Not here. Not now. Not with the odd private holo-imager prepped and ready to capture a picture that would surely somehow make its way into the news stream by tomorrow morning.
"Don't even think about it, Kathryn," he continued as he came to a halt a mere breath away, drawing her gaze back at him. "…there is no way out."
"I wasn't-" she began but stopped herself. This man definitely knew her far too well. Obviously, she hadn't been quite as stealthy in her fleeing attempts as she had hoped. She took a deep breath before she plastered a smile on her face. If he wanted to do this here, they might as well. The quicker it was over, the better.
He stared at her for a moment before he broke the straining silence. "Well?"
Her confusion was apparent. "Well, what?"
"Aren't you going to kiss me?"
Stunned, she blinked, her body slightly swaying backward. Their friendship was in ruins; they had barely exchanged words in weeks, and he had the nerve to show up here and tease her as if nothing had happened. Before she could draw breath to give him a piece of her mind, the damn ticket invaded her vision. It swayed back and forth, demanding attention.
"It is what I've paid for, Kathryn," he reminded her, the seriousness in his tone unmissable. Taken aback, she opened and closed her mouth like a gaping fish. There were a million things she wanted to say, but words that formed in her brain somehow got lost on the way to her lips.
The uncertainty he displayed upon the first appearance was now gone and replaced with confidence. As if he could see the cogs turning in Kathryn's mind, his hand carefully circled around her hip, taking hold of her and slowly drawing her closer. Automatically, her gaze drifted upwards, her fingers treading up his broad chest as the whisper of his breath tickled her cheek.
"Stop thinking, Kathryn."
Before she could retaliate, he closed the gap, carefully wrapping her up in his warmth. She didn't intend to co-operate, not after everything that had happened, but her eyes drifted shut, and her lips moved on their own accord. As the full gravity of the situation finally sunk in, they'd been kissing already for a few seconds. Her hands on his chest pushed him back, but his lips and body instantly chased her.
Somehow she had managed to pull away for a moment, long enough to mutter the question buzzing in her mind.
"What about Seven?"
She was sure he would separate from her with the mere mention of her name, but he showed no intention of letting her go. His lips went back to capturing hers in another soft and oh-so-glorious feeling kiss.
"We broke up two days after disembarking," he mumbled as they parted slightly to draw breath, his nose brushing hers before he returned for another kiss. This time, however, Kathryn really pulled back with force. The man must be joking. Two days after leaving Voyager?
Confused as to why she suddenly stopped their intimate moment, in which she had seemed to ease into, Chakotay asked, "What's the matter?"
Her eyes opened wide, and she was about to sarcastically repeat the question before she shook her head, fighting the urge to slap him. He was clearly deluded, or he would know what the hell was the matter. They'd broken up weeks ago.
For a moment, she had to remind herself to breathe. She needed to keep this strictly 'business' because otherwise, she'd cause the biggest scene Bloomington had seen since her sister had tied herself to the town's oldest oak tree during a protest.
"One kiss, Chakotay," she huffed, internally reeling at not having been told that their relationship had ended, unable to consider that the fault of that may have been her own by avoiding him. "You paid for one kiss, and you've claimed it. You should go. I'm sure the other ticket holders will be here any moment."
His dimples then made an appearance, and Kathryn could feel her hurt over the last weeks dissolving into thin air. Why had this adorable facial expression of his such power over her? He looked like a schoolboy who'd done something naughty but didn't regret it one bit.
"Actually…" He began as he reached in his back pocket with a cheeky smile on his lips, producing a second slip of yellow paper. "I have another."
Her mouth fell slightly open. Didn't he understand that she was mad at him?
Confidently, he stepped back into her personal space, grinning from one ear to the other like he'd just won a prize. With haste, he drew her back against his body, pressing against her as closely as possible before he reclaimed her lips, this time a lot less timid than the first. The kiss grew in intensity, his lips beginning to nibble and pull hers, demanding cooperation.
Being kissed like this, Kathryn had trouble remembering why she'd been upset with him. Her resolve to throw everything he'd done wrong into his face faded with every passing second. Another time or in another place, when she would've been more coherent, she would've been shocked to find out how easy and how willing she fell into his arms. It was embarrassing, really. Just as his tongue began tracing the rim of her lips, Kathryn's eyes shot wide open, and she pushed him back again. Her breath came out slightly labored.
"Why?"
His hand started to snake back around her hip. "Why what?"
"This," she pushed him again, entirely unraveling herself from his grip and taking a step backward. "Chakotay, why did you buy tickets for my kissing booth?"
He drew his brows together before he let out an exasperated huff and looked briefly to the floor.
"For God's sake, Kathryn, please don't tell me you haven't once in the last seven years noticed how much I've wanted to kiss you; to be with you."
Of course, she had noticed. For most of the journey, Chakotay had practically worn his heart on his sleeve, but that didn't explain Seven and now this sudden change in affection.
"I…" Unable to admit she'd purposely pushed him away all those years, fully knowing how much it had hurt him, she changed trajectory. "That doesn't explain what happened. I waited for you, but when we reached home, once I was finally free to be with you… you ran off with someone else."
He tugged his ear. "I made a mistake; possibly the biggest mistake I've ever made. I gave up hope of you ever letting me in, and she flattered me with her attention, so I went along with it. It was a foolish thing to do, and I admit it. I owe both of you an apology. I have no excuse.
I let Seven believe I cared for her while I damn well knew I didn't. In the process, I've hurt you. I hurt you over a relationship that crashed before it even took off. I promised to make your burdens lighter, to always care for you, and I let you down. I know I'm a bigger fool for asking for another chance, but I'm here. Please tell me I'm not too late."
Kathyrn's eyes welled with tears, unable to speak. It was as if her nerve endings were on fire, and her heart started beating after years of being near stagnant.
"What if it doesn't work? What if you end up hurting me or I you? What-"
"I will never hurt you again. If it takes every last day I have in this universe to prove that to you, I'll do whatever it takes. I love you, Kathryn Janeway. I have loved you for nearly seven years."
She was looking hesitant, wanting so badly to believe his words, but that's all they were - words. She'd been let down by them before. By him before. She wasn't sure how it was different this time.
"Why do you think I bought all these tickets?" He asked as he suddenly pulled an enormous stack of tied-together paper slips out of his pocket. God only knew how he'd managed to fit them all in there.
"Jesus, Chakotay," she gasped at the sight of yellow in his hand. "How many did you buy?"
He quickly eyed the stack. "352."
A slightly belittling expression settled on her face. Not that she wasn't charmed by the sweet gesture, oh she was, but 352 was slightly… excessive to prove himself. She couldn't help but smile at him, feeling a blush creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks. He really was ridiculous. And quite possibly broke. But God, so adorable.
"And you are planning on using them all now, Commander ?" She couldn't help but tease him, which made his gorgeous dimples appear again. Slowly he gravitated closer.
"No."
Intrigued, she raised an eyebrow. The old banter between them came back shockingly easy.
"No?" She asked.
"Nah…" He shook his head, unable to hide the playful glint in his eyes. "I was thinking about using maybe a handful now and keeping the rest for the future."
"So you can come claiming kisses whenever you want?"
He pouted his lips as if he was thinking. "I could… but I'd need far more tickets than this. I was more thinking of using them as bribery tokens for when you're mad at me."
That quipped her interest. "Really? How often do you plan on upsetting me then?"
"Not a lot." He grinned, pressing himself against her small frame. Mischief was writing all over him. "But till death do us part is still a long time away."
She chuckled before she gave him a pat on the chest. He really had his skill of wiggling his way back into her good graces perfected over the years. Damn him. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Chakotay. I'm not even sure if I forgive you yet. Let alone want you for eternity."
He leaned in, still smirking. "You do."
"I do?"
He nodded, self-assuredness oozing off him. "Yes, you do. I have it on good authority."
"Oh? Whose authority?"
"Your mother's."
At that, Kathryn's playfulness was replaced by surprise. No way did she… She turned her head to face the small crowd, and there, just below the stage, stood her mother beaming brightly at them as if she'd just swallowed a pack of lightbulbs. Gretchen even had the cheek to give her daughter a small wave.
Traitor.
She faced Chakotay again, taking in a large gulp of air, hoping she was able to diminish anything he might have heard coming from that direction. Gretchen Janeway knew far too much for Kathryn's liking of her daughter's thoughts and feelings.
"My mother is a poor judge of character."
He hummed, clearly not buying it. "I guess I'll just have to convince you that you do then."
He kissed her again, this time pouring all the passion and love he held for this small woman in. Surprised by the intensity of it all, she mewled.
Kathryn was Chakotay's world, his peace, his everything, and he'd make sure she'd never doubt herself or him again. He knew they'd still have plenty of talks ahead of them before they could mend the bridges they'd burned in the last year; before they could truly move forward, but this was a good start… and if it wasn't – well, Chakotay still had 349 tickets left.
- fin -