Chapter Text
Gangle had been concerned by the notebook Jax had left her, though the messy list could be exuded as bad handwriting there was a few pages of just…. Lines, repeated over and over some of them tearing the paper, a few circles, scribbles of big words written then crossed out. It certainly felt concerning.
She hadn’t said any of that to him (she had told zooble though, and they at least made her feel slightly less crazy by saying it was ‘*BLONK*ing weird.’)
She started on the next page and made a neat long list of ideas. It seems as though Jax had already thought of a lot, most of the simple solutions were crossed off, the crosses, mixed with the handwriting made some of the words hard to read (not to mention there where some ideas on the list like ‘poster wall’ or ‘big window’ that she couldn’t really understand.)
She hadn’t planned to try actually making anything, but one idea stuck in her head a lot (an idea that maybe could actually work!)
That’s how she ended up making something. The ‘undeath note’ (hey if it works in anime maybe it will here right?!!).
“Really?” He asks.
She nods.
He rolls his eyes, “got any other ideas? Less loser-y ones?”
“C’mon it will only work if you believe in it right?” She halfway shrugs, and Jax deflates, before nodding.
“Fine we’ll try your-“ he gestures at the book. “But what else you got?”
She hands him back his notebook “I uh, used the page after your pages”
He just nods.
There was a strange pause, before she reached out and opened the ‘undeath’ note. “we should try it right?”
He then yanked it from her hands, grabbing a pencil “may as well!”
She watched his eyes gloss over the instructions, before quickly turning it, and starting to write (something in her brain told her that he read that way too quickly to have read it, and knew what to do far too quickly to have not seen the anime-).
He places the notebook down, as well as the pencil.
A moment passes.
She leans over to see what he wrote. (He wrote both a name and a situation, he had to have seen the anime-).
The name stuck out to her, she didn’t recognize it, she had originally assumed koufmo would be first, but instead he wrote down ‘ribbit’. (She had no clue who that was.)
He stands back, waiting for something to happen.
She waits by his side, she hears him mumble to himself, she has to strain her ears to realize that’s he’s counting. He then hits 60 (a minute) before looking around. A too wide smile gets planted on his face.
“Yep! Doesn’t work!” Jax looked smug.
“What?! Why not?”
“Abstraction isn’t death”
She thought it was close enough. “Can’t we just… imagine abstraction is death?”
He shrugs “even then it’s a dumb idea”
She frowns. “Could you at least try? Maybe that’s why it didn’t work”
“And what about the abstractions we don’t know the name of?”
She opens her mouth before shutting it. “…fine” he couldn’t been nicer (‘should’ve been’ a voice in her head that sounds like zooble says.) but she supposes he does have a point.
“Well! I’ll get to these” he lifts up the notebook with a smile, before (cartoonishly) turning and leaving.
.
.
.
“You okay gangle?” Zooble looked at her. A twinge of concern in there voice.
She had been lost in thought (and honestly the adventure was pretty lacking) “yeah” she said, she was alright, but still she couldn’t help but wonder…
“Is this about…” their eyes dart to Jax (who’s gotten a zombie npc on a stick and is trying to stick it on ragatha).
Gangle pauses (it kinda is??) before doing a so-so like motion with one of her ribbons. She glances at Jax, making sure he’s standing far enough to not hear them “Have you heard about anyone named Ribbit?” She then asked (she knows there’s no way zooble would’ve met them, she came to the circus before zooble, but still maybe someone said something) “jax wrote down the name when we were trying to bring back abstractions”
Zooble shakes their head “no… I bet ragatha would know” they turn their head to look for her (their eyes look annoyed once they see that Jax is tormenting her with a zombie).
“Maybe… I’ll uh… ask her…. Later” gangle somewhat sinks in on herself. It’s not that she doesn’t like ragatha (the opposite even! Ragatha nice… enough) but she doesn’t really want to talk to her about it.
She doesn’t really like talking to most people, and a part of her worries that something will go wrong if she does ask (what if ragatha was close to this ribbit person. Or what if ragatha tries to comfort Jax about it and he finds out she’s been telling people. Or what if it’s too personal-).
“You don’t have to” zooble shrugs “and if you want I’ll come with you”
Gangle smiles lightly, without even thinking about it.
It will be alright. She doesn’t really want zooble there, she doesn’t want it to seem like a confrontation or anything, but she can’t deny it’s nice to have the option.
“No I think I’ll ask her after this”
.
.
.
“Hey… ragatha?”
The adventure had ended a short while ago, Jax had very quickly ran off to his room (and she somewhat had wanted to follow him), kinger then went back to his fort, and zooblestayed with her until pomni had left ragathas side. Then they wished gangle luck, leaving them to now.
“Oh! Gangle!! Do you need something”
Gangle has to bite her tongue not to go ‘no’ like she always does “actually… uh kinda” she somewhat shrugs nervously.
Ragathas face almost lights up (while gangle sinks further in on herself. This is not the sort of thing you ever really WANT to talk about with someone, but she had just… wanted to know?).
“It’s kinda… uhm, a weird question, maybe we should sit or something…?” She knows she’s stalling, still she felt far too casual just standing up taking about someone who’s most likely abstracted, and she’s starting to get second thoughts about even asking.
“Alright! Fine by me” ragathas smile is almost too wide, her eyes big trying to be open. A part of her can’t help but smile, because she is trying, she’s doing everything to try to seem open and make gangle comfortable enough to talk, but another part of her can’t help but compare it to Jax’s too wide smile. Both in completely different contents, but both seem extremely fake.
They sit by on a nearby red and green block in the middle of the main area. And ragatha looks at gangle, expecting her to talk.
“Uh… tell me if this is… too much I guess” gangle looks from side to side “but uh… do you know… or-“ she takes a breath in. Ragtha still looks at her with big open eyes. there’s nothing else to do but spill it “did you ever know a ribbit?” Her voice comes out a bit shakey.
“O-oh!” Ragatha leans backwards, her eyes now look more wide then anything, her pupils smaller, instead of an open face she only looks shocked “I- yes” she then says. Almost uncertain “did-…. Jax tell you about him?” She glances around nervously, a half smile staying on her face.
Gangle lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in, it wasn’t the best response, but at least it seems like she’s maybe on the right track. She nods before saying “well no, but I saw him uh… write the name down”
Ragatha frowns for a moment, before returning to an unsteady smile “Oh” she says “is that so?” She sounds uncertain, or maybe uncomfortable (maybe gangle shouldn’t have done this).
Gangle nods “I was just hoping… well I don’t know, I guess I was just curious… he uh… abstracted?” Her voice gets quieter as she goes on.
Ragatha nods “yeah… it was a while ago”
Gangle knew that (it had to be if it was before she appeared in the circus) still all she does is nod.
“Gosh” ragatha laughs, but it comes out as more of a nervous sigh. “I mean I just didn’t really know he still thought about him… no no wait, I didn’t mean” she trails off “I just-“ she laughs again nervously
Gangle waited for her to explain herself, but all ragatha did was nervously glance to the side.
“Uhm… what did you want to know about him? We weren’t the closest but… you know” she chuckles, uncertain.
Gangle didn’t really know what she wanted, she wanted an answer mostly? To what’s going on with Jax. She didn’t know if ragatha would be able to tell her that, or even if any information about this ribbit person was close to the answer she wanted “could you tell me about him and Jax… maybe?”
“Well gee” she smiled “I can try, but I wasn’t really… your probably have too ask him-… er nevermind, I’ll try my best!!” She then says “we’re to start” she rocks in her seat nervously.
Gangle leans in, and ragatha looks even more nervous, making gangle lean back, in hopes of comforting her in some way. It seems to have little effect.
“They were inseparable” ragatha kinda shrugs “ribbit was always nice to us, uh me and kinger and… kaufmo that is. I mean he and kaufmo were a little closer I think? But he normally avoided us, he had a lot of bad days…. But he was mostly funny? And soft spoken mostly?” Ragatha shrugs.
“And him and Jax were friends?” She couldn’t imagine Jax being friends with anyone described as ‘soft spoken’.
Ragatha nods, and nervously grabbed her arms “ribbit was there before Jax, so Jax and him kinda always” ragatha did some hand motion, an unsure look on her face (gangle wanted to scream ‘ALWAYS WHAT?!!’ But she didn’t, she knew this was a hard topic, she just couldn’t help but think that ragatha was leaving out something.) “they were best friends, I mean in and out of adventures, always together” She laughs “whenever we had to look for him we’d check Jax’s room first”
“Did… Jax do something?” She tilts her head.
“N-No!!!” She stumbles over her words to get out “no no, nothing like that, I mean… I know Jax is… well Jax. But back then he acted…” she looks off to the side “almost like a Different person… maybe…. A little. He was nicer is all, it wasn’t until I…” she sighs.
Gangle looks at her with wide eyes (is this going to be the answer she was looking for? She didn’t know, but she was curious nonetheless.)
“Ribbit got… intense sometimes” she half smiled “never to me or-… I mean he’d give us the silent treatment sometimes or seemed annoyed, but in a few hours he always acted like he was fine… but he got in fights with Jax like everyday!” She says, half unsure, but with far too much emotion in her voice to be uncertain of this “and I know how Jax is but back then?… it just… there was sometimes I know it wasn’t his fault, like- he’d been with me all day and ribbit would just be so… weird for no reason-“ she stops talking “I- I know it probably wasn’t for no reason and- and Jax would kill me if he heard this heh, it’s just… that’s how it felt… sometimes” she kinda collapses on herself.
“I believe you”
She nods “yeah… and I- I tried being there for him even more, it just always made him more mad” she sighs “I think I pushed too hard, I… I think he thought I was trying to separate them or something and I wasn’t I just… didn’t want him to” she rolls her hand looking up as if she can’t think of the word “I don’t know” she shakily chuckles “and after he abstracted I really tried to be there for Jax and I got so in his face about it, and I kept saying I knew how it felt and… no wonder he hates Me” her smile unsteadily turns into a frown “I’m sorry, this isn’t meant to be about me”
Gangle shakes her head “don’t be, you answered a lot of questions I had” gangle didn’t know if that was true, she honestly didn’t really know what to think about this. “And it definitely sounded like a lot”
“Don’t tell Jax about any of this” she halfway smiled.
“I-“ she tried to say she’d promise but she cut herself off “I won’t confront him about it” she shrugs “or say I heard it from you… I might… no I won’t bring it up but I might try to help”
She gave her a soft smile “I don’t know if you could”
Gangle nods.
She’s probably right. Just her couldn’t get through to him, couldn’t stop whatever strange spiral he seems like he’s going down (but she wasn’t alone.)
.
.
.
He had came out of his room. Again shutting it before she could get a glance inside (it looked dark).
She kinda wanted to go in.
“Why are you here?” He asked.
“I uh…” she leaned to one side nervously “thought that maybe we could brainstorm together” she smiled lightly. “Maybe go through my list of things to try out?”
“Sure I’ll get the notebook-“ he turns.
“Actually since I’m already here! Maybe I can just go in your room”
Jax pauses, looking at her as if he’s trying to read her. Before dramatically rolling his eyes.
“Sure whatever”
Jax had opened the door to his room.
He didn’t look back at her before walking inside, she followed him in.
It was dark, and messy, she had to squint at the floor to make sure she didn’t slip on a pencil (that was her pencil, she noticed. It had cute flower wrapping around it, it had gone missing a wild ago).
She looked up, finally seeing the whole room. The door slammed shut behind them and a sinking feeling feel in her chest.
The bed was messy, and random objects where thrown around, and there was markings on the wall. And she couldn’t help but think of koufmos room after he abstracted.
She had only seen koufmos room a few times, once or twice when it was still bright and neat, and one last time when she had returned to grab a drawing they had worked on together from it to bring to the funeral. Though Jax didn’t have big messy wall art of exit doors, he did have similar insane ramblings about ideas and abstractions and lines drawn on the walls.
There were papers thrown on the floor too, with more messy writing, but she couldn’t see what they said in the dark.
Jax didn’t seem at all fazed by the sate of his room, instead walking over to the cluttered desk, grabbing another pencil from a pile, and paper.
She looked at the ground to try to avoid stepping on anything as she made her way over to him.
“That’s uh…. One of my pencils” she didn’t know what else to say (what could she say really? Because everytime she hangs out with Jax it feels more and more like he’s going insane, but that’s not something you can just tell someone
Jax smirks as if nothings wrong, “and if it is?” He says in a teasing voice.
She just feels… bad mostly.
———
Jax opened the notebook “this page hadn’t been tried out yet”
Gangle nods with a smile on her face. (She was looking at him like he was weird, she had been since the beginning, and everything in his body screamed that he shouldn’t have let her in his room.
She made her way to the bed before sitting in it. And it irked him even more.
That’s where ribbit used to sit. He never had other people in his room. Only ribbit was allowed. (He’d swear his bed still smelled like him, but he knows that can’t be the case because no one has scents in this digital world.)
He threw the book in her direction. Then made his way to stand near the bed side.
“Hmm… remote? That seems easy enough?” She smiled.
She then looked in her hand and suddenly a big remote labeled for the celler door appeared, she excitedly hit the button but nothing happened.
“Huh?”
Jax shrugged, before taking the remote.
“Maybe Caine has areas of the circus with trap doors this could open?”
None of the buttons were labeled.
She sighs dejectedly.
“Let’s try the next one” a bit tired of standing he goes to sit on the ground.
She doesn’t respond, he looks up and notices her giving him another weird look.
“You can sit on the bed with me?” She sounds unsure when she says it (no not unsure, just confused.) and he feels a little dumb for a moment, before standing up and sitting on the bed.
There gangle was, on his bed, just sitting near him. He felt… weird.
Ribbit would’ve hated gangle, he hated everyone else. He would’ve hated this.
(—“Koufmos great, but he gets kinda intense” ribbit had told him, then chuckled “and you can’t handle me sometimes” there had been a light smile on his face “I wouldn’t want you to deal with that”
Jax had nodded. Koufmo had seemed a bit nice at the time (he tried to be funny.) but he couldn’t help but remember a moment he had slightly raised his voice because Jax had zoned out during one of his jokes.
That had meant ribbit was right, he had to be.
.
“I don’t like ragatha” ribbit had told him, Jax (at the time) didn’t understand that “it feels like she’s trying to use you, youknow?”
Jax hadn’t known, not in that moment, but nodded.
Then he stopped hanging out with ragatha (he could always remember ribbits words “you like her more then me?” “I wouldn’t get to close to her” “I don’t know, I just feel like she’s… hiding something”) he harder he pushes away from ragatha the more she pushed back, the Morse she stressed that she was always there. Then Jax had realized ribbit was right, he had to be. There was no reason ragatha would try to be there for someone who already told her to leave him alone unless she wanted to be on his good side for some reason (unless she wanted him to owe him something.)
It got even worse after ribbits abstraction. Ragatha would knock on his door everyday, and he couldn’t banish the thought of how much ribbit would hate him hanging out with her (how easy it could be for ragatha to take advantage of him—)
There was something on his shoulder?!
“Jax?” When did zooble get in the room?
His eyes snap over to them “what do you want?!” He looks around “why are you in here?!” They removed the plastic of the day that’s meant to be their hand from his shoulder once he looks at them.
“Gangle said you weren’t responding to her” zooble then said.
That’s dumb. “Then tell her to speak up, I don’t know”
“Dude we were shouting your name!!”
He rolled his eyes “clearly not enough”
Zooble takes a glance around the room, then back at him “you uh” they sigh “you alright”
What the hell does zooble think they’re doing? Trying to be like ragatha or something. It was weird, it was out of character, all of it was.
“Yeah” he had a bite to his voice. It was obvious, he was fine. He was always fine.
Zooble nods. “Sure whatever man”
Zooble silently sat on his bed next to gangle, he didn’t know if it was to comfort her or him. (If Ribbit was the one silently sitting there he’d be worried. Hed be stressed. But zooble is comforting him. Just a little bit, in a horrible horrible way.)
How is he not meant to miss someone who was always with him, when that side is now empty.
(And how is he meant to miss him when the side is no longer empty?)
Jax felt like crying.
But he didn’t.
.
.
.
They were trying to move the notebook to gangles room, but Caine had showed up in the hall.
“Now now, what are you two doing running off” Caine shook his head and crossed his arms.
“Nothing!”
Caine glared at them “OH!! I understand!!!” He smiles(?) “I guess love can blossom! Even in t digital circus!!!”
“What?!!” Jax had yelled, maybe a bit too loud because Caine came closer to them.
“Am I wrong.”
“Uhhh-“ he glances to gangle. Oh god was he going to tell Caine he loved gangle to get him off his back? What does he do?!
Caine then looks into his hand. “OH!!!! Why didn’t you tell me!!” Caine booming voice, always with way too much enthusiasm said. “That’s a remote to the cellar, you’re trying to get those guys back right?”
Jax blinked.
Uh oh.
“I’ve already tried all of that, but if you want a look at the code I’ll let you!” Caine shrugged.
“Wait really?!!”
Caine nodded enthusiastically “yeah!!! Wait-!! As long as you promise to get zooble on board with the next adventure, you know I planned something really special, and I think they’ll like it!!”
“Yeah we can do that” Jax says (almost too quickly).
“GREAT!!! I’ll get the code door”
“And the cellar?” Gangle asked.
“Sure I don’t see why not! Just be careful there!!!”
As easy as snapping his fingers Caine made two doors, one with a silly font labeled ‘character code’ and other one saying ‘SCARRREYYY CELLER OOOOOoooOooo’
Jax didn’t know how much he trusted them but he went inside anyways.
The code was a strange place. Numbers and letters flew everywhere, a giant search bar popped up and he had quickly found the files for ribbit (one for his model, which seemed fine. And another for him. The folder only held files labeled as gibberish, random letters, numbers, and things he’s never seen before. Nothing would open, just making a computer-y error sound.
Still he moved the file back to the model.
“Are you sure that’s okay to do” gangle asked (he forgot she was there.)
He didn’t respond, just walking out. And to the cellar.
He closed his eyes and heard the door click behind him, imagining ribbit was there. (It was dark here.
But in the distance….
It was ribbit, unsteady, but there, his model just like how he remembered him. Jax had taken one step closer and….
Ribbit didn’t move didn’t breath (they all couldn’t breath here, but they pretended to anyways).
Robbie’s mouth opened, and it was pure static, before his neck glitched too far off his head, and in a second he was back to the abstracted being.
(Caine said he tried this. Caine said his character file was glitched. And Caine was a lier most of the time. And only most of the time.)
There was nothing in ribbits code to save.
He opened his mouth, to try to say anything to try to reason with him, but nothing came out.
He couldn’t help but think of the time he had last seen ribbit.
(—“I love you” Jax had tried. Reaching his hand out slightly, but not touching ribbit. Just in case he wasn’t in the mood.
You could hear a pen drop.
“Can you SHUT UP” ribbit had screamed, abruptly sitting up in his head “when you saw that ALL THE TIME it kinda looses its meaning!!” His voice was raspier than it normally was.
“I-I’m sorry” Jax said. Too much he had said it too much.
Ribbit sat there, then laid back down, facing away “no your not”
He was.
He was…
Jax stayed there. Standing in place, huddled over ribbit.
“Leave.” Ribbits voice was stern.
Jax knew what this meant. He knew that if he left ribbit would be mad at him.
So he didn’t move.
“GOD LEAVE!” Ribbit raised his voice (Jax’s heart sank.)
Words formed in Jax’s brain, all reassurances, ‘I love you’s or apology’s.
But he kept his mouth shut (ribbit just told him not to do that).
“I-“ Jax tried.
Ribbit turned away further from him.
Jax had stumbled over his words repeatedly, it all going to deaf ears. He’d lean over to see that yes, ribbit was still awake.
But there was no perfect words for him to say. There was nothing, nothing but a rage building up in his body. Every word he said would be wrong, every gesture he did would be wrong, because ribbit thought he was wrong. Ribbit thought he was a crybaby and there were already tears swelling in his eyes, and he didn’t want to be that.
“You’re the worst sometimes” he words struggled to get out of his mouth, but they were said with too much hate and venom not to be true (they weren’t true, now he knows that.)
So he left (he shouldn’t have, he knew ribbit better then anyone, he was there for him all the time. He loved him. He knew he should’ve stayed.) and that was the last time he’d seen ribbit.—)
Now ribbit was gone again
He knows some of what ribbit had done was bad. (He was bad back, so it never mattered to him before. But there was a few times he had known he wasn’t at fault.) he wasn’t dumb, he always knew. But he never thought about it that hard. Because he had loved him, and letting that go felt like being alone.
There was always SOMETHING a string of hope in him that maybe, just maybe they’d get him back, maybe they’d escape. Or maybe he’d be a sap and ribbit would ‘forever be in his heart’ or whatever nonsense.
He never bothered looking for it until know (because he knew if he did and it was wrong it would kill him). And he never let go of the friendship him and ribbit had. Because the moment he had done that he’d be alone.
But he always was alone.
.
A ribbon (no, a hand) laid on his shoulder.
“How about we go back to my room?” Gangles voice broke as she spoke. But he couldn’t say a word.
She remained there, until he was finally able to move his feet to follow her into her room.
(He guesses he’s not that alone.)