12 Works in Count Olaf Bashing (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,383
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    103
  2. Tags
    Summary

    So, you want to read A Series of Unfortunate Events, don’tcha? The pseudonymous author Lemony Snicket’s flagship of fantastic writing, an intricate tale that spans a whole book series, three seasons of a banger Netflix show, and a movie everyone chooses to forget? But you can’t, probably because you haven’t been able to find all 13 books recently.
    Well, never fear, for I can summarize the whole series for you! All thirteen novels of horrors no child should go through, eye tattoos that are the exact opposite of classy, a secret fire department and an incomplete tea set that probably holds the secrets of the universe. Should be a good time.

    Also, just a disclaimer: This series has an unhealthy amount of disdain, abuse, physical and verbal, and just general hatred towards kids from the villains and characters around them. If that makes you uncomfortable, this might not be the fic for you.

    2025 EDIT: I'm ending at the Slippery Slope. I tried to see it to the end, I really did, but I can't. Maybe I'll finish it one day, but that day is not today. See you in the next fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,223
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    561
  3. Tags
    Summary

    You cry a lot, it’s just a fact.

    Olaf decides to give you something to cry about.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,402
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    703
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Oswald Cobblepot has two unexpected problems: not only can he not get his mayoral campaign to take flight, but an unfortunately dressed stranger has just invaded his lounge.

    He sincerely hopes that they do not start a flash mob.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,116
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    175
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Violet froze as she made eye contact. She knew those eyes. She knew that face, and he knew hers. His hair was shorter than she remembered, and he wore a suit jacket instead of a snow parka, but it was definitely him. He stared back at her, just as surprised to see her as she was him. She knew she looked different, and couldn’t help hoping that he recognized her all the same.

    OR

    after five long years, the baudelaires and quagmires find each other again :)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,049
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dear Reader,

    For your own safety, I beg that you stop reading. Nothing good can come from reading any further than this sentence. If you have already gotten to this point in the Baudelaire's tale, you may be distraught and crestfallen, but it isn't to late to stop. On the flip side, if this is the first time you have read about these three unlucky, unhappy orphans, save yourself the emotional turmoil and stop now.
    THE MENDACIOUS MANSION is by far the most tragic and hardest chapter in the Baudelaire orphan's lives I've had to write about. In this story, I am very sorry to say, is no happiness, instead misery and woe. Sadly, this part of the unfortunate tale contains a kidnapping plot, a brattish girl and her deranged parents, several evil associates, abuse and two sisters with an iron resolve to save their abducted brother.
    It is my duty to report the story of what happened to the Baudelaires - but it is not yours to read and indure the story of the Baudelaires. Your duty is to read something brighter and happier than this.

    With all due respect,

    Lemony Snicket (not really - StarzGutz)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,995
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    435
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of one-shots about A Series of Unfortunate Events mostly exploring the Baudelaire's massive amounts of trauma. I also have a series of 'What Ifs,' exploring different endings to all thirteen books. Most of the stories are set after 'The End' but obviously the 'What If' stories are set in their respective books.

    I started this five years ago and finished it three years ago. I'm now editing and reuploading this whole collection from Wattpad, where it was called Series of Unfortunate Events One-shots, What-ifs, and Drabbles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,203
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    3,120
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Cette histoire va gâcher ta soirée, toute ta vie et ta journée, chaque paragraphe n'est que consternation et angoisse, alors détourne le regard et ne clique pas sur ce lien...

    Series
    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    3,471
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    63
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Two years after returning from the island, the Baudelaire siblings finally have a shot at a regular life when Violet inherits their fortune. Immediately, she enrols her siblings back into school to finish their education. But even with endless possibilities, how could they possibly return to a life they never had? This is the aftermath of the unfortunate events that the Baudelaire's lived through, filled with a whole lot of angst, PTSD, and anxiety.

    In which Klaus Baudelaire struggles with returning back into the life he should have had.

    Written in third person POV.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,274
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    549
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Violet, Klaus and Sunny are unable to talk their way out of the "Marvelous" Marriage, which unfortunately leads to a night of violence Violet can't seem to regret, and a dissolved marriage, and a new pair of guardians.

    She's not sure she can handle this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,384
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    747
  11. Tags
    Summary

    That awkward moment you learn how to walk into your gay crush's lucid dream and accidentally gain magic, right? (laughs awkwardly)

    This is going to be all kinds of weird.

    Edit 12/16/2021 (december 16 2021): short hiatus into the new year for unexpected (and a few expected) personal reasons. this is not abandoned, i just am dealing with some stuff

    edit July 2022: this work is ABANDONED. there will be no further updates to this work. i still want it in my name, so I'm not orphaning it, but there will be no future chapters.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,425
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    2,109
  12. Tags
    Summary

    What does a villainess who has everything get for one who wants nothing? An abandoned logging town...and a match.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,077
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1,249

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags

More Options

Crossovers
Completion Status
Word Count
Date Updated
Submit

Clear Filters