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About the size of a turkey, the velociraptors were basically feathery coyotes with sickle claws. The little buggers were escape artists too, and managed to escape their enclosure at least once every week. Once free they would usually venture into the guest areas and raid the garbage cans, beg tourists for food, and try and lure the pigeons into a false sense of security by fluffing their feathers and pretending to peck at the ground.
The Other Velociraptors on the other hand, were six foot tall, super intelligent, scaly freaks of nature that only existed because the science department was a bunch of nerds. Surprisingly however they were much better behaved than their smaller, more natural counterparts. Too bad the chief of security was an asshole, and their trainer had a habit of getting drunk and teaching them things they really shouldn't know.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,336
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 59
- Kudos:
- 876
- Bookmarks:
- 321
- Hits:
- 7,678
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
14 Jan 2026
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The Trouble with Velociraptors by Feneris
17422232If Jurassic park were about 10x more like a regular zoo, only the experimental velociraptors were smarter than your average bear… (and Administrator’s POV of the fiasco.)
When Sasha Deling had first started working for Prehistoric Paradise dinosaur theme park, she had thought her job would involve things like escaping velociraptors.
She was right.
However instead of screaming people running in terror from prehistoric killing machines, there was garbage scattered across the food-court and people complaining to management.
About the size of a turkey, the velociraptors were basically feathery coyotes with sickle claws. And like coyotes, the raptors had adapted very well to human presence. After all, a sickle claw was perfect for disemboweling garbage bags, half-eaten fish sticks didn’t fight back, and tourists would just give your food if you looked at them and made the right noises
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How to Block Tags With Site Skins (And Get Real Specific About It) by najio
Fandoms: No Fandom
25 Jun 2025
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Summary
Just some info I've gathered over the past couple of weeks, about how to:
1. Block tags using Site Skins, block only fics that contain both tag A and tag B, and block fics with a tag that contains a certain phrase, unless they are a specific whitelisted tag
2. Highlight the tags in pretty colors! Or bold, or hide them!
3. Block mega-crossovers with a million different fandoms
4. Select for/block fics that are completed/rated something/have a certain category/don't have summaries
5. Block everything that doesn't have a certain tag, or one of a list of tags
6. Block orphan_account and tag block by author
7. Block only tags of specific types (fandoms, relationships, freeforms, etc.)
8. Block fics focused on original characters, and/or fics without any tags of a specific type
9. Block every pairing with two characters in it—case insensitive, any order, no matter how many other people are also in the tag
10. Block by number of tagsSeries
- Part 1 of Site Skins and CSS Quackery
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You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take by Kitsune_Scribe for raillery
Fandoms: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
03 Feb 2024
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Summary
Wedge learns something interesting about Luke and Leia. (Nothing moves faster in a Rebellion than gossip.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 200
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7
- Kudos:
- 23
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 124
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
02 Jan 2026
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You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take by Kitsune_Scribe
53487418Wedge and Tycho talk shit about Luke and Leia. (The rebellion runs on gossip and rouge squadron being rogue squadron.)
"Well, that's just rude. Also factually untrue. If she can fall for one devilishly handsome Correllian smuggler and pilot, she can fall for another. The blood stripe can't be what won her over."
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A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV), Mesopotamian RPF
08 Jul 2019
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This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
26 Dec 2025
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A Letter from “Crawly” to Azirapil by mostlydeadlanguages
19730593Does what it says on the tin. Superbly … creating an actual clay tablet is an admirable commitment to the bit, and the story is amusing in the style of the book.
This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex. Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham. The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown.
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A Mandalorian and an EduCorps Historian walk into a bar. The Mandalorian starts a fight. The Historian starts a lesson.
The conversation starts a realization, a reckoning, and a revolution.
(Please read the tags before reading. This gets Heavy before it gets better.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,033
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 1,252
- Kudos:
- 3,058
- Bookmarks:
- 1,610
- Hits:
- 58,784
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
21 Dec 2025
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Why We Did Nothing by BairnSidhe
54493018Another take on Jedi-Mando relations. Mostly told from the (loose) perspective of Corps Specialist Patya Boma, Padawan Obi-Wank Kenobi’s “Interim Mentor” while Master Jinn is out of commission (she’s gonna knight this kid,) Jaster Mereel and various other Jedi and Mandolorian’s. A more serious work than I’ve been reading lately, but excellent world building.
“We have a Mandalorian,” the boy said with the same flat simplicity he used to note the longevity of blaster charge packs. “None of the others are Jedi, so it’s a good fit. The Force provides.”
“My clan will take any of the children we cannot get back to their parents,” Kabii agreed.
“Obi-Wan, I know you didn’t get the full Padawan introduction, but-”
“I know Mandalorians hate Jedi. But Mandalorians like kids,” Obi-Wan said again, less flatly. “Kids they think are people, anyways. I looked it up, after… yeah. Of the places that normal kids can go for help, Mandalore ranks pretty high.”
The Jetii bristled silently, and subtly shifted to put her body between Kabii and her child. The boy didn’t notice, slipping into a small sewer opening too small for an adult with a short command to wait for him.
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Summary
A bit of kanar can loosen their tongues.
"Hope you don't mind me saying this, Garak, but I didn't really like your father."
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"Don’t you Cardassians have stuffed animals or anything of the sort?”“Stuf... wait, you killed an animal and then put something inside him? My dear, and you have the nerve of calling us savages.”
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"You do know what a date is, don’t you.”“Well, today is stardate... 47462, if I’m not mistaken, or the 14th day of the Third Quarter of 4532 in the Cardassian traditional calendar.”
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
14 Dec 2025
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Conversations by Aidaran
18790933Five times Julian and Garak conversed at cross purposes (even if the cross purpose was only Garak’s amusement.) dialog heavy, of course, with a good grip of the characters’ voices.
The screen showed a polar bear and then a grizzly one, and Garak looked alternatively to the screen and the toy a couple of times.
“Are you sure you gave me the right name for the animal, dear?”
“Look, it’s just a toy! Don’t put too much thought to it. It’s brown, it has ears and a muzzle, it’s a bear.”
“It could also be a dog.”
“Dogs don’t look like this, Garak. This is clearly a bear.”
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Summary
O'Brien learns more than he ever wanted to know about Cardassian courtship, courtesy of Quark and Odo.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
05 Dec 2025
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Cues by songs_of_the_moon
2115747A solid foray into Quark’s POV as “O'Brien learns more than he ever wanted to know about Cardassian courtship” courtesy of himself and Odo. (The first half is observation, the second schooling O’Brien.)
O’Brien sat heavily, watching Bashir and Garak as they made their way out of the bar. “They don’t usually fight like that,” he mused aloud. He laughed suddenly. “Maybe this means Julian’s finally come to his senses and is going to start leaving him alone.”
Handing O’Brien his usual synthale, Quark shook his head. “Not likely, not with the way they’ve been flirting.” O’Brien choked on his drink.
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To Draw you from the Dark by stateofintegrity for Schattengestalt
Fandoms: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
08 Aug 2024
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Julian’s past is revealed; his friends look to Garak for help.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
05 Dec 2025
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To Draw you from the Dark
stateofintegrity
58002721Post exposure, Julian’s friends turn to Garak to protect him. Garak POV with an excellent voice - you can hear the lilt Andy gave the lines as you read the page. Wishing it had a second chapter.
Garak decides that he will close early. His script is beautiful; he writes out a sign that lists today’s truncated hours and the time he will open tomorrow.
Before he can place it on the door, Lieutenant Dax strides in.
[…] “I guess I don’t need to tell you why I’m here, do I, Mister Garak?”
“I would like to believe it was for a new wrap,” he tells her. “I have some Rinaxian silk that would just suit. The shade is unusual, but it perfectly conjures the Bestri forest on Bajor.”
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Giants of Industry by esama
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Iron Man (Movies)
16 Sep 2018
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Summary
In Miami Jarvis and Tony watch the events of Detroit and put in action a plan decades in the making.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
24 Nov 2025
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Giants of Industry by esama
15995492JARVIS had been a legal person for 18 years when the Cyberlife androids started deviating.
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Wuher and most of the regulars knew not to provoke Old Ben.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
24 Nov 2025
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the old man like lightning by Laura JV (laurajv)
62320810In which limb-removal is Obi-Wan Kenobi’s go-to method for problem solving.
Wuher and most of the regulars knew not to provoke Old Ben.
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Summary
A mock-up of a fake article about a TV series, with CSS and HTML code and a brief guide on how to use it.
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Meet The Guardians by Grundy
Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
25 Aug 2014
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Summary
The Guardians of the Galaxy get a little more than they bargained for when they try to retrieve something from Earth.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
08 Nov 2025
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Meet The Guardians by Grundy
2199633At some point post-cannon, the guardians of the galaxy decide to rob Slayers HQ. Dawn POV. Everyone is the exact sort of asshole they should be.
Grabbing a crossbow, Dawn headed down to do what she did best- stall for time until a Slayer showed up. She just hoped Faith wasn’t otherwise occupied. Buffy was out of town.
When she got to the vault entrance, she stopped in shock.
“Shit,” she exclaimed, not caring that she was giving away any element of surprise. “I’ve finally lost it. There is no way a raccoon and a potted plant are trying to pull a heist.”
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Tags
Summary
When Yue is fifteen, a Fire Nation prince comes looking for the avatar.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 71,911
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 1,084
- Kudos:
- 5,438
- Bookmarks:
- 1,995
- Hits:
- 79,861
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
16 Oct 2025
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Here Be Dragons by ShanaStoryteller
37344166Zuko is supposed to be hunting the Avatar; instead he’s stealing books and trying to find dragons. Along the way he picks up a princess and saves the world. (Although princess may have picked him up, he’s not entirely sure what happened.)
“Were you always like this?” Uncle Iroh asks, but she just grins because she knows that’s as good as surrender. “My nephew is a terrible influence.”
“I snuck onto a Fire Nation ship to sail away with the prince of my nation’s enemy,” she answers. “I have always been like this. I simply lacked opportunity.”
Uncle Iroh laughs outright, which is almost enough to disguise his worry.
Yue isn’t worried. She trusts Captain Jee and Ehani.
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Get off my lawn, or I'll turn the hose on you by Bergen
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
30 Apr 2024
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Summary
“How old are you?”
“What do you care?” is the hostile reply.
“Because I don’t remember agreeing to hire kids on the cleaning team.”
Peter Parker takes another bite of his sandwich and says, around a full mouth: “I’m just here for my community sentence.”
“Huh,” Tony says. “Why?”
“I spray painted ‘superheroes should go fuck themselves’ on the side of this building. Got caught.”
“Better luck next time, then. Were you in my lab yesterday?”
“I was in several labs,” says the kid dismissively.
“Did you mess with my calculations?”
“I corrected them, if that’s what you mean. Today is my last day, and the thought of leaving them up like that, half-assed, gave me angina. So, yeah, sue me.”
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After failing to save someone from a fire, Spider-Man hung up his suit. Now, three months later, a grumpy teen named Peter Parker stumbles into the Avengers’ lives.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,106
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 554
- Kudos:
- 5,391
- Bookmarks:
- 1,253
- Hits:
- 67,883
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
12 Oct 2025
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Get off my lawn, or I'll turn the hose on you by Bergen
55037737A bit of a different take on May and Peter moving in with the Avengers and finding their way.
The first question is, does Tony Stark want Peter for his brain, or does he know about Spider-Man? The second question is, would it be a good or a bad thing if he knew about Spider-Man? Her kid is sad, and May always used to know how to fix it, but now he’s sad because his superpowers were not enough for him to save a human life, which is a very specific brand of sad that May has absolutely no experience with. Add it to the list of her current shortcomings. Tony Stark probably has experience with it, though. So even if this is just a way for Tony Stark to go through her to get to Peter… she might be able to make it work in Peter’s favor.
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Of Walls and Flowers by the_last_dillpickle for stuffedtiger
Fandoms: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
01 Jan 2024
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Lwaxana finds herself intrigued by Fujisaki's reserved young aid.
Series
- Part 1 of 2024 Rarepair Ficlet Collection
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
01 Oct 2025
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Of Walls and Flowers by the_last_dillpickle
52730368Wherein a younger Lwaxana Troi meets a much younger Lieutenant Sloane at an eventTM.
Lieutenant Sloan had arrived at the gala as a trusted aid to Commander Fujisaki.
At first glance, he appeared to be the reserved type. His actions spoke of a wallflower: an awkward young man on the sidelines who would watch the world dance him by rather than put himself out there.
It had always hurt Lwaxana’s heart to see such individuals. Luckily for them, she’d been blessed with a generous heart
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Linear Optimisation by notbeloved07
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies)
17 Feb 2014
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Summary
Fluff, post-coital cuddling, and casual plans to take over the world.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,704
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 52
- Kudos:
- 1,189
- Bookmarks:
- 188
- Hits:
- 8,674
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
19 Jul 2025
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Linear Optimisation by notbeloved07
1198254Because if you are as smart and as rich as Tony Stark, what can’t you do for your lover?
“I did say I’d give the world for you. That would hardly work if it weren’t mine to give.”
“You know, I had never considered that phrase terrifying before?”
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A new map every day by warraw
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
30 Apr 2023
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Following the events in the mines of Bandomeer, former initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi is on the loose in the galaxy, presumed dead by the Jedi. Some dozen years pass and a few destinies converge under the twin suns.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
18 Jul 2025
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A new map every day by warraw
46858375From Qui-Gonks POV. He’s not very bright in this, and Ben (abandoned at Bandomeer) is quieter and kinder than most would be. A one-shot from when the Naboo arrive at Tattoine.
Ben was talking to Watto and the Toydarian was visibly conceding, little by little. It was Ben’s tone, or perhaps the way he was holding himself, respectful just enough, reluctant sure enough, subtly threatening only if you squint hard enough. Qui-Gon glanced back at the boy collecting his things into a backpack from the counter, then at Ben again. He was openly carrying a well-used blaster, like all sensible folks in this part of the world. Heavy gauntlets protected his hands. Qui-Gon pondered on the proportion of weapons he was allowed to see compared to those hidden under the cloak.
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A quick conversation about Julian.
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
18 Jul 2025
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Broken Record by fadingintostarlight
61110841Keiko thinks that Miles is having an affair with Julian. She approves.
"You know, you didn't have to make up such an elaborate cover story," Keiko says, handing Miles a beer as they settle in for dinner.
"I - what?"
"In the holodeck. The Battle of - what was it?"
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Tags
Summary
Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,602
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 968
- Kudos:
- 7,367
- Bookmarks:
- 2,601
- Hits:
- 119,747
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
03 Jul 2025
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A Cornstalk Fiddle by notbecauseofvictories
15009599A mesmerizing novella about Johnny and the Devil after he won the fiddle of gold. Both very centered on the here-ness and this-is-who-I-am-ness of Johnny and a sort of roadtrip through his life in general and his relationship with the devil (who keeps turning up.)
“You sure you’re allowed to be here?” Johnny asks the Devil. […]
In the hard August sunlight, there’s no hint of scales under the Devil’s skin. He looks like a man—a weak chin, and pale as something grown in the dark. He’s leaned up against the side of Johnny’s truck like he’s sunning himself. (Maybe he is. They say that in the Garden, the Devil was a snake; Johnny wonders if he has fangs too.)
Johnny can feel him staring, even through the mirrored sunglasses. “Why wouldn’t I be allowed?” the Devil asks, as Johnny stops dead in front of him. Johnny’s palm is sweating, where he clutches the handle of his fiddle case.
“Well, it’s holy ground, isn’t it?”
The Devil scoffs. “Does the church parking lot really count as holy ground?”
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This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
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Summary
In the not-so-distant future of Virginia, the Personhood Act has outlawed abortion and chemical birth control. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, though.
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by CodenameCarrot
21 Jun 2025
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Another dystopian future fic, written in 2012 (!!!)
HELLO THERE. WE HEARD U NEED THIS. DON’T WORRY, WE LOVE YOU. EVERY PART OF YOU BELONGS TO YOU.