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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Gideon Nav is running for city council in her small town of Canaan. She’s got the charisma, the policy, and the kickass team of friends and supporters. There’s just one problem…she has a bit of a reputation as the town harlot, and she desperately needs to fix it.

    Enter Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Gideon’s high school frenemy, who has moved back to town and just so happens to despise her opponent. Shenanigans ensue.

    --

    A fake dating and holiday fic, with all chapters posted at once for the fic exchange.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,984
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    162
    Kudos:
    502
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    7,642

    02 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It was like watching a puppeteer pull all of Harrow’s strings simultaneously, Gideon thought; the little hagette stood straighter, though not taller- she was still five foot nothing, more furious purse dog than shaking purse dog- but she nodded firmly, once, before turning to Cam.

    "Very well,” she said. “Marry me, Camilla.”

    A vicious spit-take on Gideon’s part translated to one exceptionally high eyebrow in Cam, but nothing more.

    “Like I said,” Cam began carefully, “I’m married to Dulcie, and unfortunately, polyamory is not recognized under the UCMJ. I can’t marry you without her losing her benefits.”

    Then, because Cam was the absolute worst, she shrugged and said, offhandedly,
    “Why don’t you marry Gideon?”

    - or -

    Harrow needs health insurance, and Gideon needs Harrow (to not be a dick.) What better way to provide for them both than a little light fraud between frenemies?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,699
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    362
    Kudos:
    487
    Bookmarks:
    137
    Hits:
    10,940

    15 Dec 2025

  3. Public Bookmark 65

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    “My goodness, you are a big pup,” Harrow murmured, stepping a little closer. “And so… fit. My name is Harrowhark.”

    Oh my god. Harrow didn’t recognize her under her pup hood at all! This was great! She could mime her way through some polite back-and-forth, make a graceful exit, and hide under Dulcinea’s table before you could say “Fuck yeah!” Relaxing a little, Gideon pulled back her shoulders and stood up straight, showing off just how big and fit she was. Harrow reached out as if to run her fingers over Gideon’s well-muscled arm, then suddenly withdrew her hand.

    “Excuse me,” she said, a blush blooming across her cheeks. She shoved her hands into her pockets. “I am not usually so handsy, or so hasty, for that matter. But there is something about you I find… alluring.”

    Fuck, Gideon thought, she was not going to make it back to that table.

    ---

    Gideon goes to a fetish party, makes some new friends, and runs into her fucking ex.

    Complete fic, posting weekly on Sundays.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,992
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    354
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    5,961

    17 Mar 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Harrow wants Gideon to pass organic chemistry but Gideon refuses to study. Gideon wants to make out with every gay girl on their floor but Harrow is clearly not interested in her. Can they come to an agreement that works for both of them?

    Or: Harrow and Gideon make a deal that if Gideon comes to study group Harrow will make out with her. Nothing goes wrong and no emotions get involved.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,340
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    359
    Kudos:
    1,411
    Bookmarks:
    300
    Hits:
    34,566

    14 Jan 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Gideon was having a perfectly normal, perfectly pleasant evening (or at least, what passed for normal and pleasant in Canaan House) when Harrow looked up from her flimsy-strewn desk and said,

     

    "In the interest of remaining transparent, you ought to know that I've asked Sextus to marry me."

     

    OR

    Harrow and Palamedes refuse Lyctorhood, and get married instead. Gideon and Camilla are totally fine about it, honest.

    God, however, is not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,505
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    265
    Kudos:
    591
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    7,265

    01 Dec 2023

  6. Public Bookmark 47

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    After a torturous upbringing, a betrayal, and the nunnery, Harrow has moved on with her life. But it seems her past is catching up to her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,299
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    2,888

    04 Nov 2023

  7. Public Bookmark 85

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    Summary

    “I’m not here to ask you out. What I need is your body.”

    “Well, I don’t usually fuck before a first date, but since you asked so nicely — ”

    “Your request for fornication has been duly noted and categorically ignored. I need your help resurrecting a monster.”

    -

    There are a truly ridiculous amount of things inside Canaan Academy that can and will kill you, as Gideon Nav has learned. But Harrow Nonagesimus approaching her with a proposition to summon an ancient monster hidden deep within the bowels of the school offers a tempting break in her routine.

    Besides, Gideon always has a hard time turning down pretty girls.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,093
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    4,740

    16 Aug 2023

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    After surviving the fight with Cytherea the First, the Sixth and the Ninth are left with a dilemma: follow a God they can't quite trust, or return to Canaan House--the only other place available to them--and attempt to find their own solution.

    Part of TLT Big Resurrection Event 2023

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,953
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    326
    Bookmarks:
    118
    Hits:
    5,200

    13 Aug 2023

  9. Public Bookmark 35

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    "BY THE TIME THEY WERE EIGHTEEN, Gideon and Anouk had tried to escape the Ninth House eighty-six times."
    They might be playing cavalier for Harrow and her spectral hawk daemon Paz, but Gideon and her fox daemon Anouk aren't happy about it. But as the mysteries of Canaan House unravel themselves and threats loom in every corner, the girls might have no choice but to come together.

    A Gideon the Ninth retelling with His Dark Materials elements.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,563
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    1,527

    07 Aug 2023

  10. Public Bookmark 52

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    Summary

    For the 2023 TLT Big Resurrection Event. Ty to Jeem and Shilo for bullying me into writing for this event + Jeem giving me the inspiration.

    Ty to my wonderful artists Berry (chs 2, 7, 15, 19) and Nematode (CHs 9, 19, and 21)

     

    Also this fic has a playlist!!! right here

     

    I hope yall enjoy!!!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,363
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    243
    Kudos:
    207
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    4,890

    28 Jul 2023

  11. Public Bookmark 79

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    Summary

    Life's not bad for Gideon. She's got a nice predictable job, good friends, a hot roommate. The worst thing is having to deal with her roommate's shitty sister and their terrible friend, but its worth the tradeoff.

    It was simple, and for Gideon that was good enough.

    But things hadn't always been so great. Someone died and the events that followed shattered her world, but you'd never know it talking to her.

    Then one day a familiar face returns and turns everything upside down. Gideon thought she'd moved on but then doubt began to creep in...

    Please read the tags. I'll add them as I come across them. So please review them from time to time <3

    **Completed**

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,477
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    299
    Kudos:
    351
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    11,111

    21 Jul 2023

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    On the execrable scale of interactions involving Gideon Nav, this rises perilously close to excellence.

    -or-

    The burlesque AU with the hate-fucking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,747
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    283
    Kudos:
    1,182
    Bookmarks:
    262
    Hits:
    20,242

    18 Jul 2023

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Harrow’s life got flip-turned upside-down five years ago when she was turned into a vampire.
    Gideon’s life got flip-turned upside-down, like, two weeks ago... and she hasn’t figured out she’s an incubus yet.

    Neither of them are willing or able to satisfy their monstrous base needs. Perhaps they can find a way to help each other, and get their lives turned right-side up again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,932
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    323
    Kudos:
    672
    Bookmarks:
    131
    Hits:
    12,892

    17 May 2023

  14. Public Bookmark 62

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    Summary

    Gideon prides herself on being able to get anyone she wants in bed. But when it comes to Harrow, she’ll have to do some giving first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,311
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    363
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    3,803

    12 May 2023

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Locked out of her dead body, severed from all human sensation, the corpse prince finds her way home.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,243
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    361
    Bookmarks:
    130
    Hits:
    9,851

    11 May 2023

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh."

    Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots.

    Her eyes narrowed. “What.”

    Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity.

    Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.”

    “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.”

    What? What?

    Harrow blinked. “What?”

    Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,138
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    317
    Kudos:
    4,519
    Bookmarks:
    1,043
    Hits:
    70,752

    06 Apr 2023

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “What’s with the sword theme?” She asks.
    “Aiglamene likes swords.” The walls of Scabbards are leaden with them, replicas of swords, pictures of swords, a suit of armor off in a corner holding–you guessed it–a sword.
    “So why not call the bar ‘Swords’?”
    “Well,” Gideon is only a little delighted that she’s asked this. “Imagine a sword is a dick, then a scabbard must be a–”
    “Ah.”
    “‘Pussys’ would be too on the nose for a lesbian bar, so Scabbards it is.” Gideon leans forward, hands on the counter and a conspiratorial tone in her voice. “You do know you’re in a lesbian bar, right?”
    “Yes, Griddle. I have eyes and critical thinking skills.” Harrow takes another too-big drink.
    “I didn’t know nuns went to lesbian bars.” Gideon says, to be a shit.

    Or: I was just gonna write a fun little thing about Gideon being a bartender and a drummer because I find both of those things attractive, and then 2k of tragic catholic guilt attached itself to Harrow like a revenant, so shit got angsty.
    There'll be porn in later chapters, I promise.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,780
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    1,310
    Kudos:
    1,502
    Bookmarks:
    306
    Hits:
    40,516

    18 Mar 2023

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It figures that the only college with the badass Cavalier program is also the college that Harrow Nonagesimus wants to attend. Oh well. Campus is big, right? She'll probably never see that pointed little face again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,436
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    748
    Kudos:
    2,178
    Bookmarks:
    440
    Hits:
    57,847

    14 Mar 2023

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    As punishment for a particularly scathing end to her junior year of high school, Gideon Nav is sent to Camp Mithraeum: A sprawling collection of empty fields, wood cabins halfway rotted to hell, and a lake which glitters gorgeously in the sun, sitting approximately at the edge of the universe. Gideon, loudly gay and loudly atheist, is hoping to make this experience as miserable for everyone else as it is for her. Just when she thinks that bible camp couldn't possible get any worse, she's partnered up with her greatest enemy, Harrowhark Nonagesimus.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,908
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    489
    Kudos:
    814
    Bookmarks:
    130
    Hits:
    17,645

    10 Mar 2023

  20. Public Bookmark 69

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    Summary

    God, King of Dominicus, has called a royal tournament to name his next two Lyctors, summoning a witch and cavalier from each of the kingdom’s Houses. Princess Harrowhark intends to win, Sir Gideon wants to prove that she isn’t like her murderous mother, and nobody else wants anything to do with these necromantic freaks. There’s only one way they can triumph - but it might also get them killed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    143,565
    Chapters:
    35/35
    Comments:
    159
    Kudos:
    383
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    11,914

    05 Mar 2023

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