RileeTheRiddler
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A Pirate's Guide to Fine Dining by Lady_of_War_and_Heartache
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
05 Sep 2025
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Summary
Sora doesn’t know if the drug she drank is a success until she finally gives birth and two of her five babies are crying.
Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji are silent as corpses, but her little Sanji hiccups around light coos, and her tiny Gomako wails.
Three months later, when Gomako finally joins her brothers in their playpen, Niji will yank on his sister’s hair and bite her wrist to the bone so that she may relinquish his favorite toy.
Gomako doesn’t even flinch. She simply tosses the toy in the opposite corner of the playpen and toddles over to the doctors so that they may look at her wrist and check it for infection. And Sora will see this and despair, because her husband and his pet scientists robbed her daughter of everything.
Or: A self-insert lands in the world of One Piece and has to figure out how to navigate a world built on dreams when she is incapable of having one herself.
Featuring: A very much alive Trafalgar D. Water Lami, a confused Zeff who wants to know why the sea's given him more daughters than he knows what to do with, a very competent Buggy, and a Sanji with a sister who will teach him to act normal around women, so help her Nika.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,944
- Chapters:
- 35/?
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 835
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- 1,811
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- 786
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- 41,183
Bookmarked by RileeTheRiddler
03 Feb 2026
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Zeff isn’t sure how he got the responsibility of a mute kid, but he still teaches him how to cook. Until one day, a brat with a straw hat destroys his floating restaurant, claims to be the next king of pirates, and tries to take his kid across the world with him.
Quite an unusual way to start the day.
. . .
Being mute means it’s easy to hide secrets, and his past has left more scars than his crewmates will ever know. Sanji isn’t planning on telling anyone. It’s in the past, after all. It’s not like it’s going to come back to haunt him. Right?
. . .
Or, Sanji is mute because of his shitty biological father, but still joins the Straw Hats.
[very slow updates, not abandoned]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,427
- Chapters:
- 4/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 118
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- 2,806
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- 628
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Bookmarked by RileeTheRiddler
02 Feb 2026
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Blue hair and a red nose, while certainly peculiar, aren’t the strangest thing about the kid—it’s the fact that he’s saying he needs to borrow a Den-Den to contact Akagami no Shanks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,595
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 126
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- 4,041
- Bookmarks:
- 901
- Hits:
- 19,185
Bookmarked by RileeTheRiddler
02 Feb 2026
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“You algae-riddled moron,” Sanji seethes, shaking the paper for emphasis. “What did you do?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,410
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 247
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- 8,517
- Bookmarks:
- 1,329
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- 63,054
Bookmarked by RileeTheRiddler
29 Jan 2026
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Summary
Zoro doesn’t have a single romantic bone in him, and never once the idea of marriage crossed his mind.
At the end of the day, though, marriage is about loyalty, about devotion and faith in something outside of yourself. And that — Zoro’s good at that. Zoro’s a natural at that.
(Five times Zoro accidentally proposed to Sanji without even knowing what a proposal is, and one time he gets properly proposed to.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,606
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 202
- Kudos:
- 9,929
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- 1,685
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- 56,966
Bookmarked by RileeTheRiddler
29 Jan 2026